A community for men to share their stories and perspectives on the "Where are all the good men?" subject. Also the sister tribe of WhereAreAllTheGoodMen.
loneliness-inc
Posted 2y ago in Uncategorized - Permalink - Locked - 11.9K Views
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3. Submissions must be an essay which addresses the "Where are all the good men?" subject. Personal stories, theories, venting, and even how awesome life is as a MGTOW are all welcomed, but ultimately the reader should be able to understand from your perspective why women can't find a "good man", or why good men are avoiding commitment. Our Recommended Reading list contains great examples that fit our theme.
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B1G_Fan 2y ago
Women are only as loyal as their options.
If you want loyalty from women, limit their options.
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B1G_Fan 2y ago
You seem to be implying that men have no responsibilities in this day and age.
There are plenty of ways to hold men accountable for bad behavior in modern times.
If a man doesn't earn every dollar that he can, his wife can divorce him and have the family courts force him to work for every dollar that he can.
As for your second question:
I don't know if "less evolved" is the right term. But, we do have a married men vs everyone else pay gap
https://qz.com/1508500/the-gender-wage-gap-is-between-married-men-and-everyone-else/
The vast majority of the jobs to build and maintain paved roads, clean running water, electrical power, planes that fly, and trains that move are done by married men who are willing to do stressful and/or dirty jobs to keep society chugging along and to provide for their family.
With marriage dying out faster than a cell phone battery because women hate the idea of wasting their youth, beauty, and fertility on their husband, young men and boys are not striving to become the next generation of skilled labor.
Dalrock covered this on his blog back in 2012
https://dalrock.wordpress.com/2012/03/30/rules-of-the-road-for-fornication/
"Skip ahead to the generation that survived Y2k. Women are marrying roughly an additional year later than they did a decade ago, and 7.5 years later than they did in the 1950s. An 18 year old woman’s peers aren’t looking for a husband, and neither are the women 2 and 4 years older than her. The women who are looking for husbands are in a very different life stage than she is, so this removes her sense of urgency. The only thing holding her back from fully embracing the now raging hookup culture would be a strong moral belief that sex shouldn’t occur before marriage. For the rest, why not go after the hottest men they can find? There will be time to paper it over with stories about college boyfriends later. Besides, everyone is doing it.For young betas this SMP is an unmitigated disaster. Your choices amount to finding one of the rapidly vanishing young women who are looking to marry, learn to emulate the cads, or remain celibate (voluntary or otherwise). On top of that, courting young women has become outright foolish unless one has a high degree of certainty that she is motivated to marry soon. Young women will gladly accept your quaint offer of gifts, free food, and entertainment, but most won’t be on the market for anything serious for many years. Courting older women has the same basic problem, with the additional negatives of them being less attractive and more likely to carry baggage of STDs, be hung up on a past alpha, or raising another man’s child.For players like FFY, this is the time to be alive. Sexually unscrupulous young women are literally throwing themselves at you, and the only thing you have to worry about are the finger wagging Trad Cons who want to make sure the hos enjoy the ride. These same conservatives have generally turned their backs on marriage in the past decades, allowing it to become a mechanism to crush honest men. But even if the Trad Cons hadn’t squandered their moral authority it wouldn’t deter men like FFY, because he is one of the bad boys women are flocking to. His bad boy nature is both what makes him attractive to hordes of young women seeking out cads, and also what makes him not care what society in general and Trad Cons in specific think of him."
I put in bold the key words that are truly frightening for everyone who is addicted to functional healthcare, infrastructure, and housing.
Why would a young male spend his teens and twenties becoming a man who's husband, father, and provider material if marriage isn't in the cards for an average of 7 years? Why not just work the drive-thru at McDonalds for $15/hr and then go home, smoke weed, play video games, and watch porn?
The young boys and men in Western Civilization might not be making a smart long-term decision to spend his 20s working for minimum wage, but if it were so easy to ignore short-term benefits for the sake of long-term benefits, nobody would be fat.
EDIT: Aww, why'd you have to break up the fight, Mod? I was having fun!
ThatGuyNicho 2y ago
"Go do your part to maintain our modern civilization"
"Fuck you Grandpa, modern civilization should just exist forever for my benefit without me having to do anything to maintain it at all"
B1G_Fan 2y ago
I don't disagree.
I've said this elsewhere in this thread:
Prior to feminism, women had 4 options
Bringing back this societal dynamic would go a long way toward women being more enthusiastic in the bedroom
[deleted] 2y ago
It's even simpler than that. What most older women said to their frigid relatives:
--If you don't have sex with him, someone else will
--If you don't keep him happy, he'll find someone else who will
--You made promises to him. Do your job, keep your promises.
--Ignore him, and he'll go away - and then you'll be alone
--It's him, or no one. You picked him, you make it work with him, because he is all there is for you
But this is gone now. Extended families don't fulfill this function anymore.
B1G_Fan 2y ago
I don't disagree.
I've said this elsewhere in this thread:
Prior to feminism, women had 4 options
Bringing back this societal dynamic would go a long way toward women being more enthusiastic in the bedroom
[deleted] 2y ago
right now, a lot of women would rather be prostitutes than wives and mothers.
Blackbarnabyjones 2y ago
Unfortunately, THIS.
B1G_Fan 2y ago
True
But, the financial attractiveness of being a prostitute drops off significantly once a women reaches 40 or 50 years old
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sex-murder-and-the-meaning-life/201607/link-between-prostitutes-age-and-her-income?amp
Life expectancy is going to 80 in the United States. So, considering that a woman might need 30 to 40 years of living expenses saved up once her career effectively ends, the financial reality of being a former prostitute over 40 might scare some sense into women
BeholdTheHair 2y ago
I wouldn't count on it. Generally speaking, women who get involved in sex work aren't exactly known for their long-term planning.
polishknightusa 2y ago
Also, the two supported each other: Nuclear families were strong and thus in a position to help their relatives and vice-versa. During the collapse as stage 2 feminism took place, many single mother households exploited their extended families such as having "grandma" raise her kids while she "found herself."
But that quickly collapsed after grandma (or even great-grandma) were grown single mothers themselves and thus didn't have the resources to (properly) care for their wild-child.
Weddings weren't supposed to be just an excuse to spend money for a woman to impress her friends but the idea of increasing the extended family as the two families met each other, perhaps some of the cousins from one got drunk and wound up marrying the cousins of another, and so on. Along with funerals, these were events where families got together after coming great distances. Rarely do all my siblings get together aside from a wedding or funeral.
As fewer people marry, so are fewer weddings being held but also, fewer funerals in that I recall from my childhood that if someone died, we'd hear about it and be notified to go attend the funeral which involved not a party atmosphere, but people drank and ate and chatted in a more serious manner but nonetheless, those social ties were reconnected. Now, with so many divorces and individualism and "lifestyle" choices and such, family and community are fractured.
B1G_Fan 2y ago
Yep
Absolutely
thewatisit 2y ago
Sounds like a significant difference in consequences. The guy gets threatened with bodily harm while the woman is only scolded privately.
B1G_Fan 2y ago
In the mind of feminists, being told to have sex with a man you don’t really want to have sex with is a form of abuse
I call it “living up to contractual obligations”, but I’m cold and calculating
Anyway, if a woman in her prime of youth, fertility, and beauty is obligated to have sex with you, who cares if it’s societal pressure that forces her to live up to her obligations?
finger_milk 2y ago
Honestly if she overtly admits that she doesn't offer sex when asked and only when she has the desire to (completely spontaneous and not a basis for a marriage), then that at least gives me firm grounds for divorce.
Like, I'm not forcing anyone to do shit they don't want to do. They should feel that there is a responsibility and I think women have had less accountability for themselves in this point in history than we have ever seen before. Likely due to the desire to have pseudo equality at the cost of spiting their own face.
OhBarnacles_007 2y ago
A lot of prominent black actors have said this to a similar effect. They said if you want to improve the community it starts at home. Single parent homes wreck the kids and society pays for it. A nuclear family produces usually well rounded happier kids and benefits both the wife and husband.
I knew when people on reddit started talking about how everything old was barbaric and wrong and was flipping everything to their new progressive ideas it was an attack. Now here we are worse off. People are more divided and angrier then ever. We went against nature and tried and true traditions. Now people are depressed and have anxiety issues and bitxhing about everything.
You dug this shithole now live in it.
otter6461a 2y ago
What I at first thought they meant by “it takes a village to raise a child”: community and extended family are important.
What they actually meant: Single mothers are the norm and need a lot of support
B1G_Fan 2y ago
Yep
Denzel Washington had a great response to the issues that black america faces at the 2:09 mark of the video below
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0dCvQdt5XI
I would add to Mr. Washington's take by saying
I know some women who are working as nurses right now. It takes three adult women to restrain a 9 year old boy so he can get his shots.
So, if a 9 to 11 year old boy is being raised by a single mother, he might never develop any sense of self-control.
And, that's how you end up with 11 year old gang members roaming the streets of Chicago murdering people.
Having a father in my life who could grab me by the arm, tell me to "knock it off" and teach me right from wrong was really important. And not just from a morality standpoint. Our society isn't going to have men and boys becoming the next generation of engineers and doctors if young men lack self-control and are throwing their textbooks on the frat party bonfire when they should be studying for next week's exam.
Blackbarnabyjones 2y ago
I'm in my 40's and I'm STILL repairing the damage of growing up without a father.
It is an AMAZING losing game
Of not knowing, what you don't know, and not knowing WHAT you needed to know, WHEN you needed to know, so you could do it THEN.
The backpedaling is completely exhausting.
Can't bring it up with all girl family - They'll just FLOP AROUND ON THE FLOOR like fish out of water talking about "how they did their best"
Which of course cannot fill the void.
Looking back, and now, I've had SO MANY life losses and losses IN life because I MISSED a man-prompt, or I didn't have the tools.
I was smart enough to stay out the streets and not get someone pregnant,
but I fell for EVERYTHING else and I had to dig my way out of it.
Now, in my 40's at even ground, is NOT the time to be on par with a 15 year old with a dad.
It used to be hard for me not to stay mad. Now I'm over it, but heck at 40+ I might as well be.
I didn't survive from smarts, that's for sure.
I got good luck, and a good heart, and I think that pulled me over.
cautionTomorrow555 2y ago
Being unable to roughhouse with peers is another heavy contributing factor I learned self control because of that. I learned what kind of strength can hurt someone or I could be hurt by and that I had to control my strength because I didn't want to hurt someone accidently.
B1G_Fan 2y ago
Yep
Learning that "talking shit will get you hit" can go a long way toward instilling self-control
finger_milk 2y ago
Women will always throw a punch or blugeon with a weapon with as much strength as they can, because they literally don't understand cause and effect of what happens when you attempt to break something. They think we are so much more physically resilient than they are that we can take a 2x4 to the head when she is upset.
It's because she was never taught that we can't. If she did, she wouldn't do it unless she is comfortable being a murderer.
loneliness-inc Mod 2y ago
You have it backwards.
Single parenthood skyrocketed in the 60's because society pays for it!
Welfare is the cause, not the result.
The old system was balanced. Balanced between authority and responsibility.
Women demanded authority and men thought that they'd also take responsibility for themselves. So men gave them "rights", thinking they were giving them both authority and responsibility.
Turns out that this didn't work. As soon as women began to vote, they kept voting themselves more authority while voting the responsibility for the men. (Over simplified, I know).
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loneliness-inc Mod 2y ago
Of course it was!
Voting is an exercise of authority. It determines what kind of government and what kind of laws you will have.
The whole gynocentric legal system is a direct result of voting patterns. So it the over-bloated welfare system. So is the censorship. So is the rest of the shit.
Really now?
It's all because men didn't maintain frame?
No my dear. It doesn't matter whether or not you put women on a pedestal. The boot of the law will force you to comply with the gynocentric laws, whether you like it or not.
The laws that her votes put into place.
Yes. Voting is the problem. It's the at the root of the problem of authority without the corresponding responsibility.
finger_milk 2y ago
Exactly. I am glad that everyone can vote, but allowing people to self serve with their vote is going to allow us to see what happens when they go in the booth and have the power to change their society.
Turns out, women vote to change their own situation moreso than for the benefit of the society. Incredibly self serving, and their goals are always to get more power without accountability. An unsustainable paradigm.
loneliness-inc Mod 2y ago
Why?
So you aren't really glad that everyone can vote.
Everyone votes in their self interest. No one votes for "the greater good". What does that even mean and who decides what's good for society?
A vote is an exercise of authority. The problem is when people are allowed to vote (have authority) without the corresponding responsibility.
That's the problem with universal suffrage. Most other societal problems result from this or are related to it.
WhereProgressIsMade 2y ago
It is interesting to see how the US constitution tried to marry authority to responsibility. Voting on a spending bill meant that a representative was also voting on a bill coming to his state to pay for it. They tried to prohibit the federal government from directly raising enough revenue to circumvent that marriage but the income tax and simply borrowing enormous sums completely undid that precaution.
LateralThinker13 2y ago
Single mother households are the single biggest predictor that exists of the failure of children to succeed in life. It directly correlates to drug and alcohol abuse, suicide, mental illness, poverty, everything. Short of sexually abusing your child, there's little worse you can do to them than to intentionally bring one into a single mother household.
ejeeronit 2y ago
What about single father households? I am a single father of two boys and I worry about this a lot.
Blackbarnabyjones 2y ago
Growing up without a father, I don't think single fathers would be the problem.
When I Imagine myself raising my kids alone, I would prepare them as best I could for the REAL WORLD.
All the knowledge I got , warnings, tools, and tricks I got they would START OUT with.
I think SINGLE MOM PARENTING BOILS DOWN TO ONE TRUTH.
That WOMEN do Parenting by "Spending time" NEAR the child or "doing activities", and they make ATTEMPTS to APPEAR to wan the child expansion and growth WHILE SECRETLY USING WAYS to keep the child afraid, scared, and Mentally GIMPED so that the CHILD will NEVER STRAY FAR FROM MOM
- All so MOM will never feel alone.
MY MOM DID IT TO ME - I was a mommas boy who LIKED to be a Boy. I had a dad until about 8 and then POOF, then another one at 15 and then POOF by 16-18. Those few years and A few conversations I remember was enough to challenge/undo all the YEARS of programming that my MOM was trying to make stick so I would NEVER leave her side and never move away.
I miss her greatly, but I wonder what I would have turned out like if she didn't die when I was 17, and I was forced to meet the real world.
And MEN Spend time with their child IMPARTING LESSONS and showing LOVE, alongside lessons of Strength, compassion, Controlling Strength so as not to hurt, and using better judgement and thinking ahead. Encouraging kids to find and go their own way.
I have YET to see a modern woman mom with a kid under 8 who is not a whirlwind of "DONT DO THIS! DONT DO THAT! I TOLD YOU BLAH BLAH BLAH"
Where a DAD would have had to say it once, twice at most, enforce it once, twice at most, and the subject WOULD NEVER BE BROUGHT UP AGAIN.
IF a mom has to enforce this every time they go outside, what is she doing at home?
RuskinBondFan 2y ago
I think it would be a lot better. Apart from healthy two parent household, single parent household is probably the next best thing.
Sephirahl 2y ago
Does not correlate in the same was as with single mothers. Interesting difference in statistics.
ejeeronit 2y ago
That is interesting and comforting.
WhereProgressIsMade 2y ago
I’ve read the biggest risk being raised by only a father is kids turning out rather emotionless (both boys and girls).
Goldmansachs3030 2y ago
Stoic.
thefudmaster 2y ago
I’m a single father and raising kids is not nearly as difficult as single mothers would claim. You give your time, attention, discipline and education (the stuff they can’t teach in school) to your kids and they will be contributing members of society.
finger_milk 2y ago
I don't think there has been enough research of longitudinal studies to see the difference between outcomes of single mother households and single father ones. I would be super interested to read about it if it existed.
Honestly, I would say that a good man can raise children and have good outcomes. A good woman can try but the outcome won't be as good, simply because the definition of strength in one's character is almost always going to derive from what your father will teach you. Knowing how to be kind and helping others selflessly, I don't think single mothers as a whole understand how important that is to have underlying everything you teach your kids as they grow up.
thefudmaster 2y ago
I like and agree with your analysis.
mohd_sm81 2y ago
This is what is mostly in the Middle East until.... governmwnts started to let thw spouse so not only her/his extebded family in law, but their own extended families including her/his father and mom! so long to the nuclear family.
user84893093748959 2y ago
I'm not understanding what you're saying. Can you please rephrase or explain more? Thanks.
mohd_sm81 2y ago
What the commenter said above... is exactly what was happening in middle east, even the mindset is the same.
Nowadays however, they came up with laws to enable all men/women sue anyone and everyone (including their extended families from both sides), for anything considered interference... some times even trying to fix things they can twist it so it looks like their families want to do a bad thing and then they sue them, legally.
Hence, nowadays families are destroyed even over there, and no one can do sh*t about it... too bad... the destruction of the families is at full speed.
When governments saw this effect, nowadays, now they want to make divorces and such more difficult, but there is no point, no way to go back to the times before.
​
btw, I apologize for my previous comment, full of typos and even I couldn't understand what I wanted to say,,, I was in the gym and using my phone... and you know how that goes with BIG fingers and tiny virtual keyboards ;).
Blackbarnabyjones 2y ago
Have No Fear, FOR I AM THE PHONE POTATO MASTER.
user84893093748959 2y ago
Thank you for explaining. So, India has established a civil claim for "interference"?
It seems to me that modern marriage laws are destroying marriage.
mohd_sm81 2y ago
Middle East = UAE, Saudi, Kuwait, Jordan and neighboring countries.
I agree, modern laws are destroying marriage.
Goldmansachs3030 2y ago
India comes in South Asia, not middle east. South-East Asia will get you k-pop people who know any white girl would jump on them and be their hoe, or anyone.Hell, on Indian twitter, some guys name trends every 2 days or so. No wife should be some diehard fan of an idol group, she will only compare and compare. I did a lot of comparison's and what i found was that a man's thinking of this is like a loop, you do not stray away, you come back to be more content and striving for advancement than before.
HornsOfApathy 2y ago
You cannot negotiate or "extended family" your way to desire.
moorekom Mod 2y ago
This. When you have to rely on external sources to muscle your wife into having sex with you, she will resent you for it. There will be no desire. Desire comes when she admits to herself and to you that you are better than her. She becomes a good wife when she respects you, submits to you and is devoted to you.
HornsOfApathy 2y ago
Glad you saw what I saw.
moorekom Mod 2y ago
Those who know how women think will see it too. It's not a secret. People just have been conditioned to a level where they think something is the truth just because it was taught to them.
PirateDocBrown 2y ago
It's not about muscle. The extended family can demonstrate respect, and normalize it. Seeing this, the partner wants to join in, as women want to conform more to social norms than men do.
moorekom Mod 2y ago
Sorry to break it to you, but extended families are only really possible in patriarchal societies that are building themselves up.
In such societies, extended families are not really needed much since the society itself will enforce consequences for a woman not living up to her obligations. Don't want to fuck your husband? He will trade you in for a newer model.
Sure, extended families help with the enforcement, but they can not swim against the tide of society's direction. This is mainly about a man's extended family. A woman's family is mostly going to worry about how to make you submit to their precious little daughter. A woman's extended family most likely will be the same.
PirateDocBrown 2y ago
This is why the most functional traditional societies had daughters go live with husbands, and not the other way around.
loneliness-inc Mod 2y ago
This is correct. It takes a village to raise a
childwymynz. You need more than an extended family. You need a patriarchal culture.In this sense, u/B1G_Fan and u/PirateDocBrown are close, but slightly off the mark. Extended families are just one component of a patriarchal culture.
However, you and u/HornsOfApathy are also slightly off the mark. Because you're looking through the lens of the gynocentric culture that we live in, where wymynz are fully empowered to do or not do whatever they want.
They have the power of consent and they don't have the responsibility, as explained in the post. It is within this context that a woman's desire is more challenging to ignite. Because <gasp> female empowerment isn't exactly conducive to the long term sexual relationship that is marriage.
However, in a patriarchal culture, there are libido enhancing factors at play on a subconscious level. Because if a woman's marriage fails, she's out on her ass. Ostracized from family and friends, shamed and guilted and her chances of finding another husband are low. (And all the other factors of a patriarchal culture).
She will therefore have more respect for her marriage and more anxiety about failing said marriage. This anxiety itself, affects a degree of dread - that, as we know, boosts the female sexual desire.
It's a type of dread that is difficult to relate to from a gynocentric standpoint. However, both you gentlemen are intelligent people and I'm sure you can at least conceptualize this being possible.
Therefore, no force is needed. Her libido will be naturally higher by virtue of her surroundings and the underlying anxieties it presents.
Is it fool proof? Of course not! But it does have an impact and is perhaps one of the reasons why people from these communities tend to have much happier marriages. If you've ever seen it, you'd know what I'm talking about.
B1G_Fan 2y ago
I don’t disagree
The discussion of “extended family vs patriarchal society” is kind of like the “chicken vs egg” discussion
Was it the extended family that gave rise to the patriarchal society? Or was it the patriarchal society that gave rise to the extended family?
moorekom Mod 2y ago
I've talked about societal level dread before. But dread does not always equate to desire. Dread might lead to starfish sex, but it usually does not lead to passionate sex. Traditional societies are notorious for the dead bedrooms and there is a reason why the meme of the pool boy exists in such societies. Dread helps when there is desire and respect already. It cannot induce desire by itself.
u/HornsOfApathy has it right. While it can be manipulated to a certain extent, desire is not negotiable.
loneliness-inc Mod 2y ago
Correct. It's only one component. But it does make it easier for your average husband to be desirable in her eyes.
Traditional and patriarchal are not the same thing.
Agreed.
What I wrote about in the previous comment is in the case of the typical marriage that starts out full of desire and devolvs into a dead bedroom over time. My point is, that in a patriarchal society, it's easier for the woman's desire to be maintained long term.
Easier, but not fool proof.
B1G_Fan 2y ago
Societal level dread works relatively well when women have limited options
Prior to government subsidized feminism, women had four options:
Wifely duties inherent to option 1 become more attractive when options 3 and 4 are potentially on the table
awakenedspirit1 2y ago
Sad state of affairs. Also the truth.
Enjoy the decline
KangarooCrapper 2y ago
Men are just plow horses with two less legs. Marriage is the gun to your head which can be pulled by any number of people. Woman (internet article)..My husband refuses to pay my student loans.’ His reason? I took out the loans before we were together. Is there some loophole to get him to pay?
Same woman's response..we were not together at the time I acquired the student loans. Is there any way to get out of it? Or is there some type of loophole? I haven’t worked in years. I don’t even know how I would repay these back on my own.
Plow horse (husband) doesn't want any part of her mess created before they were married..
edgelord666777 2y ago
Marriage is like a covid mask, you're kind of forced into it but really you don't need it at all, and people ostracise you for not taking part
loneliness-inc Mod 2y ago
Ohmygaaawd! MeDiCaL MiSsuS iNfOrMaTiOnZ
Goldmansachs3030 2y ago
Whenever i ask "How will you prove the husband raped you.If there is abuse, why would you even stay there?" & " What is consent and how to obtain it? For how much time it remains valid?How to determine if it is valid or not". Nope, no one can answer these questions, no one.
I read 2 western news articles covering the situation in India about marital rape, showing mra's protesting the act. Both were biased articles and i was literally shocked to see how many men were making fun of the guys. They believe the data which BBC or some other agency shit into them rather than the government data on more than 55% false cases of rape.
Everyone says it is disgusting on how they want to rape their wives. These shits need to come to India and then on one statement, get thrown into jail.Recently, a guy was jailed because he was accused of rape, something that allegedly happend according to "his brother's girlfriend from" 30 years ago. Come here and get the feels of the court system. There are legal warning posted about how if you have a south asian spouse, chances are they can arrest you and until settlement is reached, you cannot be released.
Funny thing is that women have a child in US and then come back to India to break the marriage, have a settlement and to fight the custody battle and get alimony. Even if she gets shared parenting, she brings the little one from one place to another to have him solely to himself.And the blame is then pushed onto the guy.
What is marriage? It is empty, you have no rights. Others have rights over you, making you their cash cow. And anyone who was laughing his/her ass off, i can just foresee that "redpill in the ass" reddit post from afar.
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Goldmansachs3030 2y ago
IDK if you are a troll, but what you said is bullshit in court. Read some judgements, because i spend my last years reading just these and in my country, none of these stands. 75000 married men die, their finances sucked out, elderly parent dying or just put out there on the street.
And i have to pay maintenance to a woman who will live off my money but will not have sex with me. Idiot.
Tell me something definite that will stand in court. This all the crap above is just "be a good boy to your wife, advice".
WhereProgressIsMade 2y ago
20 years ago I read a “Christian” marriage book. The pastor wrote half for husbands and it was all about things husbands needed to make sure they did for their wives. His wife wrote the other half for wives but there was not a single thing about what wives should do for their husbands. It was all about what she should expect and how to manipulate him into doing it.
It really set me off. Kind of glad it did because I started noticing that attitude in women all over the place. Women complain that men won’t commit but it’s really hard to find one who actually wants to be a wife and please a husband and doesn’t just have an attitude like that pastor’s wife.
Goldmansachs3030 2y ago
Did any one say that madam, what should wifes do/what do you do in your marriage? 20 years ago, they would not have gone crazy if asked, in my opinion(maybe, but idk).
WhereProgressIsMade 2y ago
Even 20 years ago there were wives who refused to hold a job, refused to cook or do housework, and just sit on the couch eating bon bons all day. Probably more rare than now is about all.
Yes most women didn’t have any attitude quite that bad but bad enough that I could tell she’d make whatever guy miserable that she could marry. It was hard to find any that have even a tiny bit of enthusiasm for being a wife. I married the one I found who was the most enthusiastic and my marriage has been decent. Not horrible and not as great as I had hoped. She’s still gotten lazy and it feels like I’m pulling most of the weight.
polishknightusa 2y ago
This article brings to mind a conversation I had with a feminist about 30 years ago where she tried to justify marriage as "contract law" in order to dismiss men's concerns about the unfair marriage arrangement. (She would of course change her tactics when claiming women were victims of the workplace where pesky rules are applied consistently such as "work more hours and get paid more.")
In any case, her disingenuous argument was amusing in that she claimed that no matter how unfair the contract is, if you "signed" it you were bound by it. I wish I had brought up what we know now about prenup agreements where they are often rendered null and void because the woman didn't get sufficient time or disclosure to read it properly or have legal counsel to advise her. It would be great if marriage reform included a full disclosure much like a rental car agreement, where you are required to initial where you don't want the expensive insurance plan.
But better yet, the law should also have in place that women initial off what rights they want the man to have (whether she gets his stuff if she divorces him) AND for him to review her saying so. Since divorce is a taboo subject when the "marriage contract" is agreed upon, there is no insight by the man or woman into the others' state of mind.
Anyways, back to the feminist back then who was confident that men would still get married, no matter how unfair the laws were, so she couldn't care less about the social harms caused particularly to men which she considered a good thing.
One wonders if we should consider that just as gays demanded to get married and this had little actual effect on the already destroyed institution of marriage, that perhaps straight people should use gay "civil unions" instead. Gays getting married and straights LEAVING marriage may become a default trend moving forward. Get a "civil union" and church wedding (minus a marriage license) and put everything into business trusts administrated by each others' families. It's not only a HELL of a lot fairer than the court system, but also has numerous tax benefits as well.
Land_of_the_Losers Mod 2y ago
Well, natch, she had concerns about how marriage affected her. Lots of them. All of which deserved absolute highest priority because each one was outrageous.
Of course! You certainly don't worry about being unfair to the machines around you. As long as they run according to convenience, there is no problem. If they make unwanted noises or slow down, just smack 'em with a heavy wrench.
loneliness-inc Mod 2y ago
I remember 30 years ago. Back then, the idea that men would walk away from women was ludicrously insane!
Yet, here we are...
This mindset still exists today. In full force. By the overwhelming majority of women.
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polishknightusa 2y ago
Far out. Thanks for that info.
Goldmansachs3030 2y ago
I did not understand. Can you explain it? I found France interesting just because these people made Paternity tests illegal , cause they know their society will fall. So much romance, they could not perpetuate loyalty there.
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Goldmansachs3030 2y ago
Good, but she can still sue ig. They are all about brainwashing with bullshit.
[deleted] 2y ago
Marriage is like buying a Life Insurance Policy,for woman,in exchange of sex and (fake)love.
OwnerAndMaster 2y ago
1000% agreed
My woman is of the same mind, even before I brought it up to her. It's just weird to think any other way.
I_abhor_redditors 2y ago
I don't know how my dad found my mom. I think I understand now why he says she is the best decision of his life. Knows how to cook amazingly. Took charge temporarily of his job when he got ill to pay the bills. Literally helped him shit when he couldn't move and hardly breathe. My dad is fine now but I felt I would've lost him.
Both were prepared for me and took a year of preparation for having me. And I'm doing my best at making them proud too.
Damn. After watching this sub for years just now am I realizing that my dad found the fairy tale traditional wife. And my mom found the fairy tale doctor with his own office and with a stable good job even while being overweight.
I love the two of them very much and realizing just now how fortunate both were in finding and loving each other, it makes me sad that this days it is very hard finding something similar. I'm happy for both for finding each other and having one of the few genuine happy marriages I've known so far. How they met and how they become a couple sounded like a disaster waiting to happen but it turned out to be the best scenario.
Other than getting red pilled. This sub has just gave me a new found appreciation for my parents and their marriage and how lucky and exceptional it is this days. I truly hope I find a woman similar to my mom and can give my son or daughter the same love my parents gave me and I can give her and she give me the same love my parents had.
Blackbarnabyjones 2y ago
I wish you the best of luck. Armed with this knowledge, you should make it just fine.
I only came into this knowledge in my 30's after the fact.
If I had had it BEFORE I reached puberty, you'd be looking at the next Denzel Washington.
moorekom Mod 2y ago
There are still good women out there. The ratio is not so favorable though.
againstthe-grain 2y ago
Are there any traditional women left in the world? I have been single for many years because I am unable to find a woman who contributes in a traditional way. Every single...EVERY SINGLE woman I have gone out with for the last several years all had the same things in common...sloppy and unable to cook themselves a basic meal. Major turn off for me
Blackbarnabyjones 2y ago
I find them unwilling to be reliable. In any way.
AND if you can get one to be reliable, it is ONLY in a specific way - and IN EXCHANGE for her 1 POINT OF RELIABLILTY,
You will have to deal with children/Baby daddy, bills/spendthrifting, BAD ATTITUDE, Mental abuse, or a Partner that will always go 180 degrees out from ANY decision that you make.
And THEY ARE AWARE AND KNOW that the 1 POINT of usefulness on their part is A BIG CONCESSION (at least they are going to act like and FEEL like they are doing you a MAJOR favor by being a helpful mate), so they make sure to RATCHET up the Bad part you must deal with to get to that 1 point of goodness to 11.
loneliness-inc Mod 2y ago
You mean women who pretend to be traditional until they no longer feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel like it?
You're asking the wrong question.
Because it doesn't matter if a woman is traditional or not. Culture and law give her a loaded gun that she can use against you at any time.
She can put on the whole act of sweetness. She can cook and clean for you. She can be pleasant and sexual and everything else that you'd like.
Until her feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelings change and you too will have your wallet ripped out of your ass in divorce court.
againstthe-grain 2y ago
So what you’re saying is that vasectomy and remaining single is a good strategy that I’m practicing? Lol
loneliness-inc Mod 2y ago
It is not our place to tell anyone how to live their life.
Therefore, I can't tell you if your strategy is right or wrong.
againstthe-grain 2y ago
Yea I’m making joke. I basically just have random hookups since I can’t find relationship material
Blackbarnabyjones 2y ago
Even that is getting old.
And so am I.