In all 3 pictures she presents herself as someone who is bored out of her skull and just DARES any man to think he even qualifies to make contact to then face the gauntlet of shit tests she will throw down.

All the king's horses and all the king's men could never put a smile on that face

Aww, come on! Between "casual only okay if it's substantially worth my time" and looking for "empty nesters" = older men whose adult children no longer live with him, she could just have come out and written "prostitute looking for rich Johns" and be done with it.

This one is definitely looking to finesse dudes. The first part of he bio sounds good but it's lies, she is NOT traditional or funny and I doubt her cooking skills go beyond hamburger helper. If she were traditional she would have a husband and kids and would not be seen here. The only things she's got going for her are that she's fit and childless, but her ratchet attitude will keep her alone.

Oh fuck. It's sad. She hoisted the red flags all on her own. Let's GOOO!!!

1. EVERY single photo is a thirst trap. Not one is genuine, unfiltered, or without makeup. I understand wanting to look good for a profile, but the problem here is that men see this and immediately question the authenticity of the poster.

2. Men who are childless, never married, and pet-free (personal note: if you don't like dogs, fuck you) exist. They do not exist for women at or fast approaching the wall. This man is one of two things - young (so he isn't on her radar) or purposely avoiding these things... Which means that he's NOT looking for women like this.

3. She wants fried ice. A successful man, by necessity, does not worship women. A man who worships women doesn't stay single.

4. You want a successful man to bring you into his life and then go full beta. I'll tell you this - if I'm paying the property taxes on my home, it's my home. I won't be relegated to a room or a basement to seek refuge. I'll just remove you from my home. No successful man will even entertain this shit.

5. Shocker, she wants to travel. How much do you want to bet she won't contribute a dime? This gets the hardest eyeroll from me because it's so generic, vapid, and utterly pointless. Why in the fresh HELL would I take expired goods on vacation when I can either go to a place where the women are younger, hotter, and more willing or simply take a younger, hotter, more willing woman with me. At least a woman I will take enjoys a good coffee date.

6. Speaking of coffee dates... If I'm planning the date, you can accept or refuse, that's your right. You don't get to complain about it though. Women like this are perfect candidates for coffee dates because it exposes them for what they are right out the gate (which is, despite the bullshit they say, the reason they hate coffee dates). They don't like that they aren't getting the resources up front. They HATE having to engage with a man and keep his attention when he's alert and they can't rely on sex appeal.

My conclusion: match with this woman, flaunt status and wealth, offer the coffee date at the end.

What a selfish bitch. Not only does she want a bailout, she wants you to clear up your shit in your house so that she can fill it up with shit she likes on your dime. The audacity of this bitch.

Not a thing about her profile is feminine or traditional.

Imagine being a 31yr old gold digger trying to get wifed up by a blue-pilled Alpha using a bumble profile created by FDS. She gonna be looking a loooooong time.

Looking for marriage

casual only ok if I want it

Not even pretending to be over her hoe phase, huh.

31

no kids, never married

traditional

casual only ok if it's substantially worth my time

Something doesn't add up here. Hmm...

fancy dinners don't equal intimacy

Most men figured this out 20 years ago. This is why most men insist on coffee, a walk on a nature trail, etc. for a first date: we want to make sure a woman is actually into us, rather than just getting a free meal.

love feet

Ew.

Nothing says marriage more than wanting separate spaces while expecting him to pay for everything.

@MelkorHimself, for consistently posting theme-fitting content, I'm awarding you Sr. Hamster Analyst flair.

fyi: @moorekom

Jesus Christ, you could land a B-52 on those lips

Not a coffee date/drinking date/or walk in the park.

Foodie Call averted.

Her entire post is to circumvent HIS filters. State the conditions of association upfront and then wait to see what the pool brings. Well, the guy that fits all her conditions has more options than she does. Good luck.

The pet-free/plant-free is interesting. I guess she does not want any competition for his attention and resources.

Off topic: I love walking dates. If she cannot walk a couple of miles, then she is not making the cut. She had better be in reasonable shape and own sensible footwear.