I’m writing this post because of something that happened to me today, but my reaction was driven by a date I had years ago.
So, years ago, I was on the first (and only) date with the girl who brought me to red pill.
We were walking along the river and there was this massive guy with a great physique lifting weights.
The girl turned her head to look at him, and she kept turning it and kept turning it. At first I felt so disrespected, but I figured that there was no way that this girl could disrespect me that much so I didn’t react and figured that she wasn’t checking the guy out.
But then after the date she rejected me and over time I realized that she probably was checking the guy out.
She also told me about three guy friends on that date, when she had never told me about guy friends before during the many hours I wasted talking on the phone with her.
After reflecting, I concluded that I should’ve just ended that date early and gone home the minute she checked that guy out. After all, there were many girls who were in much better shape than her (she was skinny but not toned or anything), that I did not look at because I respected her.
So this brings me to today. Today, I picked up a girl to go on a date. I usually don’t do public dates because all I really want is sex generally, but lately I’ve started going on public dates in order to maximize my options and branch away from low hanging fruit that will come straight over.
While driving, this girl was talking about dating in general and mentioned how she could get laid anytime and she mentioned that she has a FWB and that she wasn’t going to fuck anyone else who she isn’t dating seriously.
This seemed disrespectful to me, because I was spending time with this girl who is getting railed by another dude, and she was actually telling me about it. She was saying all of this stuff as we were pulling into the location of our date, so I told her that I was trying to fuck, in a way that suggested that that’s what I was expecting (not in a way that was asking her to fuck me or if she would fuck me).
She said she wasn’t going to so I calmly said we shouldn’t go on the date.
Now, I’ve talked to others in TRP community who say she was just shit testing me and that I failed and had bad frame.
This is entirely possible and it’s probably true that my frame isn’t the greatest.
However, the thought of spending time with a girl who I’ve never fucked, who is literally telling me that she’s not thinking about fucking but tells me she’s fucking someone else just disgusts me. It’s also disrespectful.
Now I’ve learned that this was a shit test and that next time I need to just ignore it.
However, did I entirely make the wrong move by going home? Part of the reason I went home was because when that previous girl checked out another dude on our date, I still wasted another hour talking to her and still chased her afterward. I never want to do that again.
So on one hand, I completely lost the chance of getting a lay with this new girl, but on the other hand, she may not have fucked me regardless and at least I didn’t waste my time on her.
What are your thoughts? I guess the best thing would’ve been to go through with the date but just realize that this girl was low quality, as expected.
P.S. I did kino this girl a bit and she had no problem with it so chances are I had a shot at fucking her but I just reacted a certain way to her disrespect.
Vermillion-Rx about a week ago
No you didn't do the wrong thing.
I would have ignored it and tried to escalate gradually and subtly over the course of the date and then ghosted her if I didn't get my way.
I wouldn't have been so overt if I were in your shoes. But no, fuck that. She's already fucking a guy and wants commitment from another man before she fucks him while another guy gets it for free
Fuck that shit. You didn't do the wrong thing in taking her out of the date. But I would have done it in a less forward way. I would have said that I don't think our goals align or some bullshit
IBelieveInTheFallen about a week ago
Yeah this seems to be the better approach, good idea.
Yeah this could be good.
And you’re right, the fact that she’s fucking some other guy casually but doesn’t want to fuck any new guys casually is fucked for her future boyfriend. On one hand I don’t want to be responsible for lying about commitment and raising this girl’s n count (allegedly it is 2) and creating another whore, but on the other hand she is doing casual whore shit anyway and her future boyfriend will be a cuck.
At some point I thought it was somewhat acceptable since she said she would stop seeing the other guy if she wanted to go on a second date with me, but now that I think about why this gives me a weird feeling, I remember what I thought earlier which is that I don’t want to commit to a girl who wouldn’t be casual for me but would be for someone else.
Anyway, I wasn’t going to commit regardless but the audacity she had to expect that was bold. I unmatched her to keep from wasting any more time.
Vermillion-Rx about a week ago
Honestly dude
This is not common. Of all the girls I've ever been with only one said she was openly going on dates with no promises that I was the only fuck she was having
Another one just plain laid about it and I caught her
If most are fucking some side guy they are not saying it out loud
It is uncommon that she was overtly telling you and also giving out an overt commitment trap.
I almost get the feeling she was screening for gigas that didn't give a shit and would escalate anyway
At any rate that was such poor taste and poor dating strategy on her behalf
Lionsmane8 about a week ago
I'm torn.
Obviously she's low quality and a retard (shit tests have a limit and girls typically don't kiss and tell).
Also something tells me she was indeed hoping you would plow through her bullshit to plow through her.
My question is, what do you want?
Because you're sending mixed messages. Refine your aim and screening filters.
IBelieveInTheFallen 6 days ago
I want casual sex and eventually an LTR. But the LTR will not be one I have casual sex with. I never wanted to work towards an LTR with this girl so I just wanted casual sex with her.
mattyanon about a week ago
She doesn't owe you respect. She is being honest with you.
Good, but "we shouldn't" isn't what you say. Instead you say "ok, we're not going to do this, we want different things, let's not waste each other's time" and then take steps to bring things to a close.
Don't think about this in terms of respect, think about this in terms of her being 100% completely unsuitable, but impressively honest.
You called it right.
No way that this girl would fuck you - she wants a provider while she fucks someone else.
If she wanted you to fuck her, she would not be talking to you like this.
Not everything is a shit test.
whytehorse2021 about a week ago
I'm gonna venture to speculate hypothetically that she may be hypersexual and is lining up multiple sex partners. Supposing that is the case, it would be a bit like getting freebies from a prostitute when she's off work. At first you feel like you're special and getting away with something but at the end of the day you're sleeping with a prostitute and slurping other men's cum out of her vagina. If that's your thing then great.
Vermillion-Rx's approach has the advantage of leading up to that. My approach would be to go nuclear and run asshole game.
4c.) Nuclear Shit Tests:
A nuclear shit test colloquially referred to as “going nuclear” or “the nuclear option” is when someone does something which violates conventional social boundaries in order to see how you will react. These are a step up from “advanced level shit tests” being more extreme in nature, usually bordering on psychological/emotional abuse. They can be covert (removing all the money from your bank account and feigning ignorance to see how you deal without money) or overt (somebody taking a bite out of your food and then staring at you in the eye.)
Nuclear shit tests are designed to test your reaction not by probing your psyche with words, but by probing your psyche with actions that would typically be expected to offend, hurt, disrespect etc. Say you’re with a girl and you’ve hooked up a few times. She’s pushing for commitment, but you’ve not acquiesced to her demands. You’re both out at the club and she starts grinding on another guy. She’s doing this to make you jealous in an attempt to force your hand. She’s using dread game and trying to get you to commit to her by inspiring competition anxiety within you. Dread game when used by women is a nuclear shit test. How do you pass this shit test? Go talk to other girls, when it inevitably comes up later she was grinding respond with “that’s cool” (it signifies you don’t care in a positive manner) or “you can do what you like” etc. Realise she did what she did for your benefit, to test you: it’s all about you. If you weren’t there to see it, she wouldn’t have used another man as an instrument to manipulate you into giving her an offer of exclusivity.
So, my friend, this was a nuclear shit test. The correct response is:
Ridicule Reframe – This is major asshole game or what I personally refer to as “Patrice O’Neal Game.” You use this kind of game to bring incredibly narcissistic and angry women off the ego pedestal. Don’t use this on timid sheltered women if you ever want to sleep with them, they’ll get too intimidated to act upon their attraction. Ridicule reframes are particularly helpful in bantering with other guys, who relish in the verbal violence and ensuing laughter it can inspire. In relation to the shit test at the beginning of this section: “I bet you’re single because your face looks like a 9/11 crash site “
In this particular situation, I would indirectly call her a whore by saying "Look, I know where this is going. How about we skip the date, I give the money directly to you, and we get on with the sex?". This gives you both the Vermillion opportunity and ends the date if she's not dtf. Oh and it knocks her off the pedestal.
TRPPRT2021 about a week ago
What's the original source for the nuclear shit tests? Seems like a structured post
whytehorse2021 about a week ago
https://illimitablemen.com/2014/12/14/the-shit-test-encyclopedia/
coolsocks00 about a week ago
You've posted the story with the girl checking out the higher SMV guy before. Boo fucking hoo, now forget about it.
You did good in the car. I applaud you for not going through with it like some shmuck. You were the chooser, and a girl like that wasnt worth your time. GOOD.
IBelieveInTheFallen about a week ago
I was saying that I was reminded of that situation and that made me react in the way that I told myself I would if it happened again.
Thank you.