Long story short this girl I been dating for a few years is cool. submissive, buys me stuff, cooks, blah blah- she has her own issues that reveal she's pretty broken anyway (daddy issues, not used to "good men" etc) so I just play the relationship day by day. She is madly in love with me, I dont care about having her forever or marrying her.Any time she says she loves me I just say "I know". I only tell her I love her when we fuck every now and then and she loves it. im pretty reserved emotionally
We were chilling outside and she stars discussing getting a new apartment. we're both smoking some weed and the vibe is cool. Then she says "I was about to say something but I didnt want you to get mad". I tell her spit it out and she says "I was gonna say 'I'll be texting you AND other guys when I get my new apartment'". Now upon hearing this, I didnt say anything or make a face, I really was just like "thats how it be". But in my head im utterly confused. What causes women to say these retarded ass statements? its more funny than upsetting to me, cause its like she's digging her own grave. Anyway, she goes on to say she just likes to get a rise out of me, cause im so "nonchalant" but I've been cheated on before and have heard enough "jokes" and given enough benefit of the doubt with women. So as soon as I heard that I mentally checked out and started thinking bout spinning plates again. I already didnt want a relationship nor do I put much stock in them. I dont appreciate jokes like that coming from women cause at the end of the day, these hoes be for real. Saying that under the guise of trying to get a rise out of me is retarded but I dont expect her to be logical. it'll just get her tossed to the side. Anyways she's just started a new big girl job working in a hospital (I know) so I dont feel like playing it safe and giving her that benefit of the doubt. rather be done with it all
Let me know what yall think. I've already started to open my options some more. Im beginning to think this chick is really just too far gone, as smart as she is. I dont care to be tested in that way, especially not after being with her for 3 years. My solution is to just keep fucking, getting free food, blah blah. she's starting to gain weight anyway (still looks good but all her family is fat so I dee that in her future) so it may be time to sell low. Im going to branch out my options and keep raking in the benefits, but I'd like some more input just to further solidify my mind with good information
First-light 10h ago
Unless it was a joke, which it doesn't sound terribly like from what you wrote, you don't have a LTR, you have a plate. No need to go nuclear, enjoy till it breaks but explore other options. At least she has given you a guilt free opportunity to do as she has said she will do.
I have found that women can say things they mean seriously but know you will not like as supposed jokes. I am never sure if its just guilt making for emotional leakage or its their way of trying it out so they can back out if you react badly. It can make you quite cross because you can't be sure if you are being joked with but your insides are telling you she is not really joking.
It just could be a strange comfort test, to try to get you to say something more committing but then you would expect her to have come out asking for that not just saying she wanted a rise. One would expect something more like "well if you don't take me off the market, why shouldn't I" or "If you only love me for sex, there is a gap in my life I need to fill" if it was a comfort test made as a joke.
Gathering more information on this is likely to be better than wading in trying to find the truth of this one statement. Enjoy the sex and keep your eyes and ears open. It looks bad, it probably is bad but its best to be sure.
notdoingcoke 9h ago
Only information gathering I can do is looking at her phone [secretly] and I never find anything for real. It may be better to completely disconnect myself emotionality than to worry bout looking for clues. But Like you say, better safe than sorry
First-light 5h ago
I think emotional disconnect is a great idea whatever else you do. Its just so hard to do isn't it!
Vermillion-Rx Admin 10h ago
That would be a deal breaker for me, especially with her working at the biggest slut magnet short of strip clubs, OF and the army
Demote to fuck buddy in my opinion it sounds like she's more serious about her sudden independence and changes in life than a joke
She has all these changes and suddenly starts "joking" like that? I've heard similar "jokes" before about other men and it never falls far from the tree
Any women worth a relationship would not be jeapordizing it like that i think she is keeping her options open. Plus you don't seem like you want to be with her forever. I would just go out on top since she gave you an out and it's already her fault
notdoingcoke 9h ago
that's what I was thinking. in my previous relationship I let myself down so many times. had multiple chances to "go out on top" and I squandered them all. Told myself it'd never happen again, and that I'd "go out on top" verbatim
Vermillion-Rx Admin 9h ago
Happens to everyone. You don't want this to go to marriage or anything anyway and you see the writing on the wall. 3 years is a long time and you know this relationship better than any of us do so do what is best for you.
Ending a 3 year relationship is no small thing so make the best decision for yourself over what internet strangers are saying
SeasonedRP 1 3h ago
Start spinning plates and don't regard this as an LTR any longer. I know exactly what you mean about the type of women who "aren't used to good men." They never get better; they'll always prefer lowlifes. You will not benefit in any way shape or form from a woman like this, no matter how good she might seem at a particular time. They always go back to lowlifes.
derdeutscher 1h ago
So you want to fuck her without giving her real commitment, but you dont like when she texts other guys?
Well dude..get out of your ass I would say.