Titles a bit confusing. But so are situationships.
I’ve been plating a girl for the past few months. We are casual and haven’t talked about exclusivity. So she knows loosely I’m seeing other girls but I don’t talk about it.
On the other hand, she told me she’s single and generally gives me the impression that things are getting serious between us, to the state of even going raw and me giving her cream pies (she’s on BC), and she’s getting a bit emotional with me (I like you a lot, I miss you, etc). And me making her my submissive (with collar, leash, etc). Generally I get to see her on Friday or Saturday on demand (I know girls save that day for their main) so I generally had the notion I was #1
Well I found her TikTok and found out she has a boyfriend. Like they have photos on dates from the past month or two. Nothing more, so I expect it’s a newer relationship, maybe not even official..?
Last night I saw her a guy called. She goes to the bathroom to talk on the phone. She came back and said it was her brother.
That’s fine. We’re both Fwb but she’s STILL seeing me.
But why does she feel this obligation to lie about being single? Why is she hiding him from me? Why is she still seeing me despite being with him?
I’m not gonna lie. I don’t know how to feel about it. Part of me feels like he’s better because she wanted a ltr with him. The other part thinks I’m better because I’m the side alpha dick or whatever
But the truth is I was open to LTR with her. So it stings a bit. And I can’t get mad
Part of me wants to just end the Fwb dynamic. The other part tells me that stupid because I have access to her. She’s some of the best pussy I’ve had she’s Brazilian.
I just have this weird emotional reaction that maybe if I end things with her she’ll feel like shit and chase me to replace him. But maybe that’s wishful thinking
I didn’t ask to be her ltr, but that’s because I’m redpilled and I know a girl needs to ask first. But I was playing the long game with her
Thoughts?
mattyanon Admin 9mo ago
So she is lying to you.
And she's on BC.
Until she's not.......... "oops".
You overestimated her.
Tell her "look, you're seeing other guys, and THAT IS OK...... just don't like about it, ok?"
Hopefully that helps.
But she's still a liar. Don't trust her, and don't trust her with BC.
EmpireCrimson 9mo ago
She's a plate - you put her there for a reason. But, like all plates, they break. This is one of those instances where the plate broke itself. She told you that she was single and clearly that isn't the case. I get the one-itis but now you're at the mercy of her lies - I am not talking about your feelings, I am referring to your health. Does her boyfriend bang her raw? Who is he sleeping with? Is it worth you catching a STD to play this silly game?
If you still want to bang her, line up a replacement plate and demote her. Don't forget the condoms. Abundance mentality reigns supreme.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 9mo ago
Dude, you were considering her as a LTR and she's cheating on her now bf with you.
And you're still writing a novel about how you should have snatched her up sooner. Dude. Wtf
bymxco 9mo ago
Snatched her up sooner? I couldn’t have. We have been seeing each other consistently the past two months. It’s her perogative to move things past the Fwb stage. From my prior experience, doing so will be a bad thing. A man should never bring up exclusivity
At this point I’m a bit taken aback. I’m not sure if I should just keep fucking her and say nothing. The other side of me is a bruised ego and wants to end things to make a statement and not feel like I’m second place or a back up plan.
I’ve been courting her (as a fwb) so now I feel like it’s wasted efforts. Plus I cum inside her and yeah, I feel like she may let him do the same. I feel nasty about the situation.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 9mo ago
Implied you wanted an LTR
She is complete trash either keep fucking her or don't. Not sure what your dilemma is
bymxco 9mo ago
Yeah I did and was clear I wanted a ltr in the posts. but like I said I never communicated that to her for that reason. Men not supposed to ask first.
my dilemma is I want a ltr with her secretly and will probably continue to enjoy her as a plate in the meantime but how do I not feel like second place if that does happen in the future?
My point is I still feel the emotional sting. Similar to seeing an ex in a photo with another man. I just saw their photos like an hour ago so yeah
Typo-MAGAshiv 2 9mo ago
Here's a mantra you might find helpful:
don't care; had sex.
Also, read this if you haven't already: HumanSockPuppet's Guide to Managing Your Bitches.
If you have read it already, your post and replies to other people's comments show that you need to read it again.
Intrepid_Place53900 1 9mo ago
(how do I not feel like second place if it happens in the future)
A guy fucking a girl is never second place to that girl if he doesn't give her exclusivity.
Sure, she can fuck other guys, no problem, you haven't invested anything.
The girl is shopping for a LTR most likely. She's hoping one of the guys she's FWB/fucking, actually commits to her. In the meantime, she's having fun. Don't be one of those guys.
If a girl thinks you are her best option, she'd drop the other guys. But at some point, if commitment doesn't look like it's going to happen, she'll move on.
a girl who's fucking more than 1 guy at a time, is not LTR material
Vermillion-Rx Admin 9mo ago
You are plain and simple hamstering. Instead of being relieved you didn't ask her because she's trash you are lamenting how RP shouldn't ask for commitment. You shouldn't ask for commitment but it's like her being trash is just completely going by the wayside in your post mortem hamstering.
Not sure why you hamster so much from one post to another.
I don't know how to help you. You long for the garbage before you.
Cool. Sleep on it. Stop being an inner cuck longing for trash and decide if you want to keep getting sex or not. I'm not answering a single one of your future comments/posts in which you long for a trashy terrible LTR candidate
bymxco 9mo ago
Thanks for the advice. I haven’t posted in like a year and it was another girl (an ex). I come here for the wisdom
And I actually feel a bit better about the situation. I did some more research and found out she’s been dating him before I even came in the picture. So yeah, that kind of changes everything
I’m the side piece and not second place. I’m arguably a branch swing in process.
Typo-MAGAshiv 2 9mo ago
He was catching one-itis, and having his illusion shattered is painful.
[deleted] 9mo ago
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Vermillion-Rx Admin 9mo ago
I understand that the shattered illusion is painful, it has happened to me in front of my face before (literally).
But OP is still hamstering and longing for her. Has yet to have an aha moment despite the obvious sting. He does this in almost all of his posts. He has a major hamstering problem
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Typo-MAGAshiv 2 9mo ago
Yeah, I told him in a different reply that he liked an illusion he had built up in his head, but she has shown the real her to be trash.
I don't recognize the username. I might use the search feature to read through his previous ones later.
[deleted]
Problematic_Browser 1 9mo ago
Oh no. You get to fuck her while some other guy has to deal with all the bullshit that comes with getting to fuck her.
Such a miserable situation.
bymxco 9mo ago
100% it’s the alpha card. But what if I wanted a relationship with her? And was in the process of courting her?
I was starting to like her as more than fwb. And I believed it was mutual, because she would do things fwbs don’t do.
Now I feel like she’s using me for emotional validation too. It’s only a matter of time before she tells me “I miss you” and uses me for the validation
Typo-MAGAshiv 2 9mo ago
She's proven herself unworthy. You can certainly keep using her as a cum dumpster, because that's all she is.
Courting?!
Were you two conversing on the front porch under the watchful eyes of her parents, and occasionally having dinner with the entire family so everyone could get to know each other?
Or were you FWBs like you originally said?
No, you liked an illusion you had built up in your head about her.
The real her is a lying slut who cheats on her boyfriend. Better to be the side dick than the poor cuckolded chump who is paying full price. Poor bastard.
It may have been, but again, she has proven herself unworthy. If she did it to him, what makes you think she won't do it to you?
Pfft. FWBs will frequently do just about anything, sexual and non, especially when seeking an upgrade.
You have seen her true colors. Consider yourself fortunate that you saw them now, instead of after 10 years of marriage.
bymxco 9mo ago
I feel better about this situation. I went down the rabbit hole and found out she’s been with him BEFORE I even met her.
She still lied about being single, but that’s obviously a good thing (for me) and a bad thing for him.
Based off this I came to realize I am actually the side piece and most likely a branch swing in process.
I thought she met him after me, or they became ltr after me. That kind of changes the situation
Typo-MAGAshiv 2 9mo ago
"Feel". lol.
Is it?
Does it?
She's still a lying slut.
Problematic_Browser 1 9mo ago
Clearly that would have been a mistake.
Bitch, no you weren't. You called her a FWB.
Did you meet her father? Probably not. Did you express an intention of marriage? No. Did you have a clear and explicit conversation about monogamy and expectations? Lol no.
Bitch, no you weren't. Your dick was getting accustomed to having a sleeve and you got sad that another man might have slid up in your slip'n'slide.
That's actually unlikely. She'll use her boyfriend for that. If she does, just don't play that game.
[deleted] 9mo ago
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Problematic_Browser 1 9mo ago
I was two bourbons in at that point
Dxmx99 9mo ago
Be happy that you figured this out sooner rather than later: She's for the streets.
Take it from, I made this mistake. If she cheats with you, she'll cheat on you.
This was a crucial step in the vetting process.
Problem is it doesn't sound like you're banging other girls if this one girl has all your attention for LTR.
Good FWB at best it sounds like. Let it be that and once she fucks off, get a new one.
No-Stress-Cat 9mo ago
All the Brazilian chicks I ever dated were flaky as fuck. Yeah, they'll bang you 27 different ways to Sunday, but when it comes to relationships, they're only interested in guys who can pay for their fake titties and asses. Unless you're a BetaMax, I wouldn't expect an LTR out of this type of woman.
lurkerhasarisen 1 9mo ago
If she’s not married, she’s single. So are you. So is her boyfriend. So are her other boyfriends… and your other girlfriends… and all the other boyfriends and girlfriends of all those people.
There’s no betrayal here.
Face it: you’re all a bunch of bonobos humping each other in the bushes . Don’t marry a bonobo. Better yet: don’t be one yourself.
coolsocks00 1 9mo ago
Welcome to the jungle lurker
Hanscheezburger 9mo ago
I was in the same situation as you, almost identical. But I didn't get mad, I hard-nexted her, cut all contact and blocked from everything.
After she broke up with her boyfriend, we were dating for a few months but then I found out she was lying and still talking to her ex behind my back (I told her not to). I also found out she was seeing other guys despite telling me how much she loves me and begging for a relationship. One day I saw her post on Instagram going to a cocktail bar. I checked the first guy who liked that post and voila, he posted a story going to the same bar. So I immediately deleted her number, blocked her on everything, no explanation, no warning. Completely scorched earth.
I know some guys here told you to keep the girl as a fuck buddy, but my advice is to cut ALL CONTACT. I hate lying bitches who have zero honor and self-esteem, and keeping them around would just complicate my life even more.
You know what happened after I cut her off? It's very interesting.
The girl stole her friend's boyfriend (typical betabuck who believes he can save her, like you). Now she constantly posts pictures of them together but here's the catch: she somehow found a messaging app I haven't blocked her from and sent me a text thanking me for the good times. HAHAHAHA. Fuck off.
I'm just gonna tell you there's no saving these hoes who don't want to be saved. They can act innocent all they want, it's your choice to fall for it or not. And if you do, you only have yourself to blame.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 9mo ago
I was involved with a girl recently I used to fuck after she dumped her bf recently. She went out of her way to tell me she ended her relationship.
Just saw her on his snap story in a different city maybe two weeks or less at some very obvious popular excursion in my state with him. Looked at his Facebook on my burner and his relationship status to her never changed and she changed her status to hidden.
Nexted her (again). They don't learn to change. They only learn to hide it differently
Hanscheezburger 9mo ago
Either they hide it or in my case, they hamster wheel it into it being my fault hahaha. Take a look at her instagram now and it's like a poor innocent girl who was tricked into having a situationship, desperate for love but I was cold hearted. Hoe was seeing 3 other guys in 6 months while begging me for a relationship. Now her current boyfriend promises to give her the love she "deserves".
OP, do not be that new boyfriend. It's not going to end well for you. I'm speaking from experience. Don't be afraid to open up new leads NOW. I guarantee you will find someone much better. You are just tunnel visioning now and cannot see your full potential
Lone_Ranger 2 9mo ago
Who's plating who?
This is the issue with modern 'dating'. It's all secrets and lies, everyone thinks that they can have it all. Turns out, you can't.
You're sleeping around, she's sleeping around, we're all just sleeping around. In the middle of all that, people catch feels and then feel rotten.