My time for having children is running out

At 41, it basically already has run out. And before there are any examples of women past 40 having children, just be aware that most of those women already had children when they were younger, which pushes their fertility window back. A woman who is just starting to try and have children in her 40s is very, very unlikely to succeed. There is a remote chance, but it is indeed very remote. Not only that, but all the risk factors for pregnancy complications are significantly higher for women her age.

This has always been my dream and I'm willing to try almost anything.

Always been your dream? Then what in the world were you doing for the past couple of decades? Certainly not doing all you could to make that dream a reality. She mentions dates in the last 2 years, but what about the last 2 decades? While we do not have a for sure answer, any answer she could give would demonstrate that she was not doing enough to make her dream a reality. When she was in her 20s, she could have had all that she claims she wants now. Even though she mentions not being a workaholic, my guess still is that she put her career priorities before the priority of finding a husband.

If there was a way to turn back time, she could have her dream easily, but alas, there is no way to do that. Now she has the odds very much against her of attaining her supposed dream. This woman is but one of many women that should serve as a warning to younger women who want to have a husband and children: start early. By early, I don't mean at 30. I mean in your early 20s. This does not mean that women need to be married by their early 20s, but they need to start looking for a man who is husband and father material when they have the greatest potential to find this sort of man. Along with this, I will add that women should not spend any time engaging in casual sex/hookup culture. And I don't mean a little bit is okay but don't get too carried away, I mean none at all.

Some women may complain, "But men can get away with hooking up without any consequences, so that's not fair!" First, the type of man that I would classify as husband and father material is also not the type that will engage in that activity. So you should not have to worry about this supposed "double standard" when considering what you want. Second, most men cannot get casual sex nearly as easily as the apex men (see: the apex fallacy), even if they want to. So in many cases, women are complaining that the Chads are able to hook up "without any consequences" while women are seen as sluts for doing so. Well, who is exactly setting the standards in these cases?

For the men, women set the standard for acceptable behavior in men, and for women, men set the acceptable standard. Men do not want to commit to sluts (at least most men do not), while women are far less likely to reject a man for a commitment just because he has slept with many women. In fact, many women see such a man as more desirable because of his sexual success, or at least seek such a man who is sexually successful but do not hold his number of sex partners against him. Women are free to reject such men for commitment or sex, and women who do want a husband in fact should. But that's not for me to decide.

In short, women need to start their husband search early and forego any aspect of casual sex if they want to succeed in finding a good marriageable man. Otherwise, they are likely to end up like this woman hoping they can somehow find a man who wants marriage and children with them in spite of their diminished capability to have children and the questionable nature of their past.

Here's a funny exchange in the thread that demonstrates her delusion:

Some other user:

Given the little time you have left, i'd recommend going with that friend that's been secretely in love with you, but you've only ever considered a friend.

A different other user:

As a guy, on average you're actually getting more attractive as you age. For women, it works the opposite, which can understandably be very difficult for former hotties.

And now her:

Funny. I feel I’m much more attractive now then when I was 30 and have heard the same from many women my age. Most people I meet think I’m 30, not 41. I eat really healthy, rarely drink, exercise more and have just learned better self-care, better fashion, better makeup and hair. Like a lot of nyc women, I’ve been constantly improving myself. A lot of men my age , by contrast seem to be balding and overweight…

lol! "I feel I'm more attractive" - k. But do you have any objective evidence that you are more attractive? Because the only thing that matters is the opinion of the men you're trying to date.

She's been "constantly improving herself" but if men mostly care about youth and fertility, her "constant improvement" has been as helpful as rearranging the deck chairs on the titanic!

Add to that, undoubtedly some of her "constant improvement" has been career-related, which men do not give a shit about.

If she put that much effort into her pursuit of a man 20 years ago, she wouldn’t have this issue.

Now, she wants a man to put a baby in her. Who is going to want that with a 41 year old woman? Sure you could be like Melania Trump, exceptionally attractive and respectable, and get a much older man who’s willing to be a father again (provided you don’t think a 60 year old man is going to be wiping butts and doing the bulk of the housework). But that’s rare.

Just another case of a woman who lived life like a man, but now wants to assume the feminine role in a relationship because that’s what her primal instincts are telling her to do. She mentioned that she dated an unemployed guy, but she told on herself when she said that she moved specifically so that she could live somewhere with a better “educated” male to female ratio for her. She wants a guy who is better than her. She doesn’t want to assume the role of a provider to a lower value man that may see his own window to have children closing.

What we have here is a woman who wanted to play by men's rules.

What these women don't understand is that when they play by men's rules, they get men's rewards and consequences.

For men, we run this race and if we run it harder and faster than other men and get to the finish line, we get the prizes: money, status, and women.

For women, they run this race and if they run it harder and faster than other men and get to the finish line, they get the prizes: money, status, and women.

What's the difference? Men WANT those things and women (unless they're lesbians) do NOT.

They want men. The problem is that men aren't waiting at the finish line offering their fertility and youthful beauty for women to claim them as prizes. Worse, the men that ARE there are men those women find repulsive.

Women want to run a man's race, but get woman outcomes and it just doesn't work like that.

There's something seriously wrong with her.

120 dates in 2 years (5 dates a month) and nothing? Oh she's a classic "Yeah, but..." dater and it's obvious she's been that far longer than in the dating window she described. I wouldn't be exaggerating if I said probably half of those dates was with someone who would have made a great mate for her, yet she couldn't resist the extreme nitpicking:

• "Yeah, but he didn't make as much as I'd like"
• "Yeah, but he was 2.75cm shorter than what I want in a man's height"
• "Yeah, but" Y'all get the picture.

KS did a show entitled "You Already Met Mr. Right...And You BLEW It!" and this woman no doubt had her Mr. Right in front of her 15-20 years prior. Now she wants to pretend she's been overlooked and underappreciated in the dating world.

We all know women grew up on the Disney "Fail-y"tales, but when you mix that with their worship at the altar of the "Sex and the City" shrine, this is the result.

Those male friends that say she's a catch are gay so they judge her by the same metrics women judge themselves, which is only meant to impress other women and, as usual, doesn't take straight men into account. Why would a man want a woman that's constantly working on her career?

Despite all these supposedly impressive credentials, she still wants someone to find someone for her. I don't know her but you can tell she's clueless. I bet the men ran screaming.

"My time for children (has run out)"- fixed that for her

120 dates in 2 years and she isn’t self aware?

Man. This one's so bad, almost looks like the poster was trolling.

Hypnotism. 120 dates in 2 years. Only encouragement, no discouragement. Emotionally mature and doing meaningful work.

What is this Girl's gotta eat. Sounds like a fat acceptance thing to me.

This reminds me of what Kevin Samuels said just before he passed:

"If you are over 35 and you aren't married, you are a leftover woman. You are what is left. Men know there is likely something wrong with you."

This woman wasted her best years larping Sex and the City and now she hits 40 and wants to be a wife and mother. Also,120 dates in 2 years means an astronomical body count which prevents her from being able to pair-bond with ANY guy. Hopefully she got a Chewy coupon in the mail like I did, she'll need it.

Qualifying marriageable men is her problem, she wants chad from the bachelor not reality.

Well let's consider what men are the equivalent SMV to her, single, and wanting kids... Based on her age, she's about a 3 in terms of youth, beauty, and fertility. So she could get a 3 or below. For a man, he's a about a 3 when he's 18. So she could get an 18yr old but no guy wants kids at that age so that won't work. If a man remains a 3 but increases his wealth enough to afford kids, it's probably because he's very unattractive. Maybe short, fat, ugly, autistic, etc. AHA! She can date a blue pilled older autistic guy.

Ahh yessss.. The realization that 41 to 72 is long 30+ years of working. She is not just looking for a husbank and instafamily, she is looking for her excuse to leave the workforce and retire early. She has already checked the strong and independent checkboxes, now she needs the rest on her girl game bingo card filled out .

That bastard piper never told her about the compound interest. Pay up, laydeez.

120 dates in 2 years? Never mind the sheer number of guys (I'll get back to that).
That's over a date a week every week, not getting a step closer to your supposed goal.

You couldn't find one in that 120 worth going out with for a while? OR more likely the vast majority didn't give you "the tingles" and the ones that did you drove away by pushing too fast and too hard for commitment and talks of marriage with kids. The equivalent of some inexperienced guy walking up to an attractive girls and blurting out to her Do you want to fuck?

According to your male friends you are emotionally mature? "Encouragement only, no discouragement" Oh yes, that sounds emotionally mature. Maybe your sarcasm detector is broken.

You reek of desperation and baby rabies but you also compounded that with high $tandards. You waited FAR, FAR too long for getting into a relationship with the goal of having kids - especially with someone you expect to $upport you.

If it was a childhood dream and so important to you, you should have a good start on getting a long term relationship that may lead to a husband and kid(s) at the very least a decade ago. If it has always been your dream you shouldn`t have pulled a Rip Van Winkle and expected a Disney fairy tale ending - yours will be more Grimm.