So… my life has been utter chaos for the last month or so. The good news is that I’m about to lose my $87,000 / year job on Tuesday.
Yeah… that’s the good news. Everything I own is paid for and my military pension more than covers my expenses, and I probably need to focus on recharging my own batteries for a while. There’s a good chance that I’ll get picked up in September at my old gig, anyway.
My current contract that consists primarily of me writing stuff nobody is ever going to read is not going to be renewed. It’s not being non-renewed because anyone was displeased with my output (it was good stuff, actually, and might have made a real difference in the next war if anyone had read it), but rather because the money that was supposed to pay for me to do another year of brilliant analysis was diverted towards making holes in the Iranian desert.
That’s just the calm eye of the Category 3 turd-storm of family drama that defines my life right now, though. So naturally I decided to take a road trip to get out of my head and away from the madness. I packed my car, filled my tank, emptied my bladder, and told everyone except my wife not to call me. If problems arose, my brother was on call for a change.
That lasted less than a day. A (nother) crisis arose, and my phone started blowing up as I was navigating mountain roads in the rain. My wife was a trooper as I tried to manage the chaos from three states away, but pretty much everyone except her went into “I’m not doing anything until Lurker tells me exactly what to do” mode. (Mind you; I’m the youngest child.)
Eventually things were brought under control and I arrived at my destination, which is really what this is about. I was visiting my “battle buddy” to hang out for a while, and I got a sobering glimpse at how “the other half” lives.
About my buddy: he’s a true bro, and I wouldn’t hesitate to go into battle with him, so nothing I’m about to write should be taken as me denigrating his status as a bro. But…
When it comes to women, he has the survival instincts of a lemming. Chicks have always gravitated to him, so he has some blind spots. (Hence three ex-wives who took him to the cleaners.)
As much as he’s my bro, there’s no way on God’s green earth that I would set him up with any woman I liked. In fact, I have a single female friend he’d probably like, but there’s no chance that I’m going to facilitate them meeting.
The Tale of the Tape: he has three ex wives and a teenaged son who lives with him. He makes good money (a lot more than I do, in fact), and he has a huge modern house filled with expensive toys, yet he’s absolutely up to his eyeballs in debt. He’s been on GLP-1s for a while and has gone from being obese to being somewhat less obese. After decades as an infantryman, his body is badly broken down (part of his massive income stems from his 100% VA disability rating, although he also has a full-time six-figure job). He’s also a bit of a hoarder, and every room (and closet) in his giant McMansion looks like a bomb went off in it.
Personally, I couldn’t care less. He’s a good friend and he’s paid his dues (retired E-9 with combat tours). I just mentioned all of that because those are what women claim are red flags. Which leads me to his dating life…
He uses online dating to meet chicks, and women THROW themselves at him. We’re not just talking about snaggletooth 4’s, either: I’ve seen pictures. These women may be broken, but they’re not fatties and uggos. His last girlfriend was well above average (as long as you’re willing to overlook a LOT of ink). Is she crazy, though?
You better believe she is… she takes SSRI’s by the handful, but she smoking hot with a sex drive like a bonobo on crank, so he was willing to overlook the crazy.
So what does my buddy have that most guys don’t? The most obvious thing is that he’s tall (over six feet). Next is that he’s big, although he’s well off his former body-builder prime. He also had a Harley and a lot of tattoos, which adds to the mystique, especially since he’s wearing a “cut” in one of his pictures. You’d never guess that he has a masters degree, but he does (although that’s not in his profile).
His profile claims (falsely, of course) that he likes hiking (lolnope) and that he’s looking for a long term relationship (AW, HELL-TO-THE-NO)… some woman to spend his life with. What he gets is a torrent of women throwing their panties at him. By any objective measure, he has more red flags than a Chinese parade, but he’s clearly capturing the interest of a lot of women. Meanwhile, good solid dudes with green flags are getting nothing, from what I gather.
My take on all this is that a lot of women in these online spaces are pretty broken, and a good man would do well to exercise extreme caution or steer clear entirely. Not only are the odds not good, but the goods are odd.
polishknight WAATGM Endorsed 4d ago
I think this is a good candidate post for the TRP feed that @Typo-MAGAshiv mentioned: https://www.forums.red/p/whereareallthegoodmen/325416/meta_waatgm_and_theredpill_are_two_separate_entities_and_the
That said, two amusing things about this: 1) When I grew up, men were chastised as being the "shallow" gender. A woman friend of mine tried that line on me and I laughed. Women are now officially worse than men EVER were combined with other outrageous standards but particularly on height. It should be the one thing men today are focused on for their sons such as exercise, diet, and so on. More important now than even education.
2) If I had a son and I got him tall, he'd never LOSE money in a marriage. This guy has choices and while the "goods are odd" if he cleaned himself up, could he nail some doctors or widows loaded with cash? Or in the least, don't marry the crazy stripper redheads named Brittany?
3) Ok, I found a third: When I see online posts from otherwise nice looking and demeanor women saying they've been single for a decade or more, I hypothesize it's likely because they're height queens.
Good luck on your job/situation! Can you collect unemployment?
Overkill_Engine WAATGM Endorsed 4d ago
The hilarious part, instead of accusing men of being shallow (when it clearly is the other way around) and demonizing them for it, if women were truly smart, they would instead be encouraging men to be shallow and on top of that, being immensely thankful when they are, and rewarding them for it instead of shaming them.
Because being merely "fuckable" is far easier to pull off than actually being a decent person. A truly shallow man is going to overlook a lot for some hot.
Instead they have harangued men into being the opposite - I daresay most of our current living generations of men are getting to the point of seeing an attractive single woman and wondering where the hook is inserted in that obvious bait. And this is being further demonstrated by men of many stripes starting to refuse to interact with women in public beyond what is absolutely required.
Typo-MAGAshiv asshole. giga-shitlord. worst mod EVAR. 4d ago
OK, I have a little more time than I did when I first replied my mostly-meta comment.
I have to disagree strongly with this.
Height is almost entirely genetic, and even that has some room for chance to go awry. Example: me and my middle brother. We're the first two men from either side of the family not to hit at least 6' in several generations. Our nutrition was great, and we both played outside and did sports and other physical activities (lots of bicycle riding). I'm 5'11" and he's 5'10". Our youngest brother, though, is 6'4".
I'll confess: when I realized I was finished growing in height at about 15, 16, 17 (long time ago so I don't remember when I realized I was done), I was very disappointed. I knew it wasn't the end of the world, but it still hit me (I have since more than gotten over it).
But imagine the psychological damage parents will do to sons if they act like height is the most important thing in the world, and act like it's something that can be controlled, and then the sons top out shorter than their dad and uncles? Poor kid will probably have a significantly delayed launch due to the disappointment.
And anyway, and I've been saying this for years now, height isn't as important a factor as a lot of guys want to believe. Yes, it matters, but it's not the end-all, be-all.
1) I've mentioned this dude dozens of times (might edit in links later), but I have a RL buddy who is 5'3", has a beer gut, and looks like a garden gnome who fell out of an ugly tree and hit every branch on his way down. He has been married and divorced twice, and he still gets laid. It's because he's one of the most likable, charming people I've ever known. If I ever start posting videos on my Youtube channel (no one hold your breath), I would love to interview him so we can put all that black pill bullshit about height and looks into the grave where it belongs.
2) I also say this all the time (might edit in links later), but most women have bad spatial reasoning. It's why they can't parallel park, play dodgeball worth a shit, or estimate heights or lengths with any accuracy (unless they work a job that uses a tape measure a lot). They say a lot of dumb shit about height, but it's all empty mouth noises as proven by their actions.
If I had sons, my biggest foci would be competence, confidence, and congruence (in that order).
PoopBeast Jr. Hamster Analyst 4d ago
As someone who is 6'4" with an average face, I definitely second this. To me it feels like height is probably akin to a multiplier. If you've got nothing to multiply, or you're just multiplying "average", you're not going to do that well based on it alone. It's amazing how many average guys out there think they'd smash everything if they were just tall.
Typo-MAGAshiv asshole. giga-shitlord. worst mod EVAR. 3d ago
I prefer the term headwind for height or other "plusses" (vs tailwind if you're short or have other "minuses"). I think @lurkerhasarisen was the first person I saw use those terms like that.
They can help or hinder, but won't make or break you on their own.
lurkerhasarisen A Strategist Among Tacticians 3d ago
That was - along with the word Inspin - one of my contributions to the RP vernacular.
Height (especially when it’s right there in digits on a website or app - is not in itself sufficient… but it helps. When all of your screening criteria fit on a phone screen, the things that actually matter rarely make the cut. Those things matter after you’ve met, but if the algorithm or the filter prevent the meeting from happening…
Typo-MAGAshiv asshole. giga-shitlord. worst mod EVAR. 4d ago
You know he's a mod, right? He's been one longer than I have, in fact.
And with mod status comes certain privileges and leeway (though we stop each other from abusing it).
polishknight WAATGM Endorsed 4d ago
I appreciate that he wanted this to see a wider audience. I have an idea for something for TRP for this week. I have weekday content for this as well, but last week was super busy for me.
Vermillion-Rx Penchant for plastic dolls 4d ago
*Shocked Pikachu face*
lurkerhasarisen A Strategist Among Tacticians 4d ago
I can, in fact, collect unemployment, although I don’t know for how long. Long enough to bridge the gap until my expected return to work, though. If that doesn’t pan out (which is a possibility), I honestly don’t much care: I don’t have to work at all.
As you and @Typo-MAGAshiv noted, this might not have been the optimal place for this, which is why I gave it the flair that I did… today is Saturday and I’m clearly off on a tangent.
Honestly, I’m more than a little overwhelmed with my family situation, and I wasn’t joking that getting laid off is good news in a way. One less rock in my rucksack.
The bottom line is that my dad’s health has been highly volatile lately, and for a variety of reasons (some of which go back decades), I am the go-to guy in my family when things go pear-shaped. My brother and he have a very odd and very strained relationship, and even though he’s the firstborn, he looks to me for instruction, too (to the point of paralysis). Unfortunately, he’s both passive and passive aggressive when it comes to getting things done and following through, which leaves me to manage practically everything.
“Practically everything” is a heavy load, indeed, and my wife does everything in her power to help, but she has a chronic autoimmune disease that flairs up under stress, so I have to avoid both letting her carry too much of the burden, and not letting her see how much the whole thing is getting to me. That part’s hard, to say the least.
polishknight WAATGM Endorsed 4d ago
Take care of yourself, Tovarische! Savor your time off!!!
It might be a good story to share on TRP or just in the general feed, but when us men lose our work it hits us different than women. My wife lost her contract at a defense contractor and she was devastated as a Soviet career woman. I was supportive of course and helped her get a government job nearly 2 years later and she's showing me her gratitude the best she knows how (slightly LESS cantankerous than usual!)
I was laid off of my corporate job at a fortune 50 cable company 16 years ago but I was happy about it because it had become like a living hell reminding me of this scene in The Meaning of Life: https://youtu.be/ecFBcpY9NHI?t=68
It really was a lot like that with the management becoming openly abusive taking away our cubicles so we'd be "open office" and then flooding us with migrants with fake degrees yelling at us. My doctor diagnosed with me a medical disability I retain to this day. I lost 20 lbs in a month due to the stress. I became openly insubordinate but carefully avoided any firing offenses.
Get this: I got a call from my boss on Friday: "Hey! I'll be in town early so we can have our 1:1 on Monday!" I knew what that meant. I got all of my preparations ready and researched employment attorneys and went into work bright and early and acted ideal. Read the few emails I was on the line for but the rest of the time did a "space out". I was probably the happiest I had ever been aside from my wedding day and the birth of my child.
He walks in and smiles at me and says there's a conference room in the back. Now I know what that meant and I looked at his face for an signs of him knowing what he was up to. He looked at me the same way someone who puts down puppies daily at a kill shelter does. Utterly eerie. I smiled and skippidy-doo-dah walked to the room. I get there and there's Jim from HR. "Hi Jim!" I said. (not real names!)
Now here's where it gets weird.
Jim says without a beat "Hi Tom!" and means it. I cooly observed with amusement how he wasn't flustered that someone who should know what's coming next being so cordial shouldn't seem weird? My boss, Fred, says: (I'm waiting for "due to your insubordination you're...") instead:
"We have a massive layoff going on and you're on the list. You'll get a severance package of..."
And I start dancing on the table mentally.
If I had worked my fanny off, he STILL would have laid me off but instead, I got a package! Of COURSE if I had worked myself to death, like the accountants at The Crimson Permanent Assurance, he'd have done it anyway.
Fred was starting to get angry that I was TOO darn happy!
I cleared out my desk of personal effects putting them into a box that they were legally obliged to mail me. They had to wrap it up in an expensive box because many were oversized.
I shook hands on the way out and walked with my head held high.
I got about 1 year off with full benefits including unemployment and spent time with my new born daughter. Yes, Fred, a Christian minister, laid off a man with a new born daughter while bringing in non-Christian migrants whom he asked ME to train (yeah! I "trained" them all right!)
My wife did ONE time dig at me not working and I told her off for it. I was technically being paid. It reminds me of a recent post on X where a wife was griping about a guy who day trades for 3 hours/day and earns $500K/year and plays video games the rest of the day while she works a full 8 hours and she's angry that he "goofs off" doing "boy" things (see my recent TRP post). How DARE he not exist to please her?