Dedicated to exposing all the women who complain about wanting a "good man", to show women's poor dating behavior and unreasonable standards while offering little to no value themselves.
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deeplydisturbed FDS Dinner Donor 1d ago
I could get behind all that mess. The whole thing - IF she was not such a party “out there” sort of woman.
Skip cleaning, cooking, and being submissive. But for FUCK SAKE, stop the fucking single girl lifestyle.
Women who avoid this advice and aiding and abetting in the suffering of other women. That whole trope about women keeping other women single - I am starting to believe it.
GimmeTheUsual Sr. Hamster Analyst 8h ago
I personally believe that social media and the ubiquity of mobile phones were the one-two punch that absolutely wrecked women.
Its like a scifi story where a hivemind collectively goes insane because it gets force-fed so much information it can't come to any consensus at all. As we know, women were protected and for a lack of a better word - herded towards better choices by their male counterparts.
They're now a ruddlerless ship, flailing about in the seas of emotion until they dash themselves on the rocks of cumulative bad choices.
Typo-MAGAshiv asshole. giga-shitlord. worst mod EVAR. 8h ago
As a connoisseur of analogies, I must say that this one was particularly delectable.
GimmeTheUsual Sr. Hamster Analyst 7h ago
Thanks, the state of it all truly is depressing to me.
Honestly partly why I drink. Not a destructive thing, I've given it up for over a year before, but there is something soothing and zen about a tumbler of amber while thinking about life.
NotaBene Sr. Hamster Analyst 3h ago
I drink, smoke a pipe, pray, read, fish, brew alcohol, play games, and talk to based bros for the same reasons. A pleasant mixture of escapism and thinking about life without actually confronting it.
"Reality, looked at steadily, is unbearable." -Lewis
GimmeTheUsual Sr. Hamster Analyst 2h ago
I've said this before but I wish we had been friends.
Such is the internet, but I appreciate your contributions and comments.
No-Stress-Cat Jr. Hamster Analyst 1d ago
Bridesmaid: "I've dedicated my entire life to walking in a man's shoes. Why don't men want to marry me?"
Therapist: "Just make up some excuses to make yourself feel better. It worked for me. I believe in you!"
Land_of_the_losers the-niceguy.com 1d ago
What's terrible about this is... normally, I would chalk a lot of it up to "young women receive bad advice", and yet... this woman's circle of friends clearly haven't made whatever mistakes she's been making.
What's their secret? How have they managed to pull-off these multiple miracles? Are they incredibly lucky?? Are they doormats? Stepford Wives? Submissive little creatures? Probably not.
If you're an average-looking woman with a great personality, you tend to do pretty well. If you're an average-looking woman who loves to play passivity-based games and your twenties feel like one big winning streak, eventually your luck is going to run out. "Quitting while you're ahead" is sound advice for gambling.
The hard truth that this woman needs to hear-- and she will never, ever accept it-- is: it's time to develop a personality. Passivity worked great in your twenties. You just stand there, smile, and cocktails get handed to you and you get invited to parties, and you just need to simper and giggle and wear your friggin' diamond tiara. When you say something dumb, guys think it's cute. Now, it's just tiresome.
Overkill_Engine WAATGM Endorsed 1d ago
And one that doesn't revolve around being a bitter cunt; otherwise what few men left who are willing to bother with a 30+ year old leftover woman will just shrug and move on to the next crop crop of young passive dullard pussy that at least doesn't actively try to make the process a miserable experience.
polishknight WAATGM Endorsed 19h ago
The columnist could have given her the advice that if she wants something, it's not just about developing a personality but actually "finding" a good husband. When men are told to "find" a girlfriend or wife, it's not to wait around until the woman approaches him and wines and dines him. She had a huge SMV when she was young where being passive wasn't a net liability and she squandered it. Now she's in the same position as an average guy in his 20's.
It's like teenagers saying they want a clean room but they want their parents to continue cleaning it for them. No matter how great her personality is, the room won't clean itself.
This notion of women MUST sit around and wait for the ideal man to ask them out and entertain them is a product of a special era in western history when lots of men had factory jobs and got married before, repeat BEFORE, the age of 21. My parents who got married in 1958 at the age of 23 were the outliers of the time. My mother shit tested him by giving ONLY her name so he had to look her up in something known as a Phone Book. He took her out a few times for Vanilla Cokes and bowling. That was the NORM for dating back then. Lavish and expensive dinner dates were something perhaps the ultra wealthy would engage in but not normies. I think they became the norm as pre-marital sex became normalized during the 1960's and 1970's.
The columnist did the writer a disservice by giving tips on how to cushion the reality blow rather than confront it. The OP is in denial. As @woodsmoke points out below, the OP cried for help lying she's not lonely or unfulfilled. To use the columnist's example: If she's jealous about people having parties about celebrating getting into shape, the proper thing to do is the WORK to get in shape. In my own life, my daughter's classmate teased me for being fat. I simply said he had a point and worked out and got in shape and the kid said "Your daddy's not fat anymore." That's right!
But our society regards women being lazy about relationships as a virtue. That it's men's "job" to put up with shit from women who refuse to recognize the value of relationships and marriage but in the meantime, it's ok to shame men if we don't want to do women's work such as dishes or laundry.
woodsmoke Respectful reprobate 1d ago
Which is, of course, why she wrote to an advice columnist about breaking down in tears every time she goes to a friend's wedding. 'Cause she's so happy and fulfilled being a single boss babe career woman.
GimmeTheUsual Sr. Hamster Analyst 8h ago
Nuked from orbit.
Nice one. You know the moment they say something as a deflection or to diminish it as not important - it is important to them, which is why they mentioned it.
I laugh when I catch it from women saying similar things in conversation.
Typo-MAGAshiv asshole. giga-shitlord. worst mod EVAR. 8h ago
"I'm so happy, that I can't stop crying
I'm so happy, I'm laughing through my tears"
Yeah, the song is from the perspective of a newly divorced father who misses his kids, but that couple of lines seem fitting anyway.
First-light Jr. Hamster Analyst 1d ago
Refreshing to read an article where the female complainant is not blaming her exes for wasting her time or men she dated for not being adequate.
The agony aunt actually gives semi useful advice in saying "stop spinning your hamster wheel when what you are trying to rationalise upsets you"
It is, however, a pity she that she didn't simply advise her to consider how much she really wants what she thinks she wants. Does she want it enough to become the kind of woman a man would marry? does she want it enough to seek out the kind of man who would marry her, does she want it enough to be a good wife. If so go and get it.
This is a bit like a boy writing in to say how can he stop feeling upset that he never gets picked to play for the school team in his chosen sport. "Well son take a good look at yourself. Are you cut out to play this game or would another game be better? Are you actually a nerd who have more fun in the library, a geek who should be playing war games or should you be training harder and training specifically? If you really want this you are going to need to up your game. That is the only way to get picked. Otherwise do something else and get over it. Chad will always be cooler and you will always have to applaud him. Its life"
NotaBene Sr. Hamster Analyst 3h ago
I challenge any of you to chess any day. We'll see who the biggest nerd is.
Typo-MAGAshiv asshole. giga-shitlord. worst mod EVAR. 7m ago
NERDS!
Land_of_the_losers the-niceguy.com 10h ago
So, speaking about her... do you mean she should fuck the same dude more while demanding more from him? Or simply fuck more dudes while demanding more from all of them?
First-light Jr. Hamster Analyst 1h ago
I take your point, perhaps she is not even playing the right game. I suspect its not so much that she has been trying to play slut or resource extractor as she has been going with the flow and expecting a man to appear who wants to marry her.
Going with the flow tends to mean being a bit slutty these days but it no longer means that in your early 20's someone comes along and snaps you up for a wife. It even no longer means the Bridget Jones' diary generation's experience where you slut till your 30's and some guy who is a sort of friend eventually takes you on when you are ready to settle. Men have come to realise women are no longer valuable just for being women.
A wife is no longer an asset, just for wearing your ring. She brings risks and liabilities and just about zero benefit. This was not the perception in past generations who still had a folk memory of women being valuable. Feminists even traded off it with all that nonsense that women did lots of unpaid labour in the marital home (but strangely they didn't in their own home when they were single and still cleaned and cooked, only when they had a man to do the heavy and dirty tasks did the light ones they did anyway become labour).
If a woman wants to marry these days she will have to up her game form "sitting on her golden vagina and waiting" to being a great companion and support, bringing real value to a man's life in return for the huge value and legal entitlements she will receive.
Typo-MAGAshiv asshole. giga-shitlord. worst mod EVAR. 8h ago
Both. She should do both.
Additionally, she should also withhold sex from the men she really wants so they don't think she's a slut.
Land_of_the_losers the-niceguy.com 7h ago
Oh my, yes.
You shouldn't have sex with the man you want a relationship. He might be a dishonest player! Go have sex with the known players instead. Strategic thinking!