Her non negotiables:

Must be on board with a monogamous relationship, and dating with the intent for marriage. Must be alright with a timeframe of marriage and starting a family within the next 2-3 years.

College educated. Bachelor's degree at a minimum.

Generally healthy lifestyle is a must. No marijuana, tobacco, psychedelics, or recreational drug use. Good hygiene.

Must be Democratic or liberal or left leaning politically.

Looking for someone who is not particularly religious. Okay with spiritual or non-religious or along those lines.

35-45 age. Flexible within a year or two at most.

Preference is for never married, no kids.

And of course nowhere in that list is any reason why a man able to meet that criteria would want to bother with her. It's not like perimenopausal AWFLs are in short supply or in any sort of demand.

All this of course relies on her actually being fertile post wall. starting a family 42 to 45 is not a given by any means even if you are a rich liberal Californian and have had everything your way all your life. The wall might say "no".

But go get stuck in boys. Its a high risk of marrying a barren woman but you might get lucky and end up changing diapers at night for a perimenopausal queen who will tell you every day that she gave up her great single life of travel and work to be your wife and suffer this drudgery.

I feel genuinely sorry for her. We all make bad choices but there are no second choices post wall. Women are just not educated well enough these days to know the things that actually matter.

She said she did not take dating seriously in her 20's and early 30's.

Translation: cock carousel.

Then she met her fiancé whom she was with for several years but he sadly died of cancer.

Lucky escape!

She then was with a man for a couple of years and he would not commit to her.

Translation: would not sign a one-sided government-enforced provisioning contract.

Preference is for never married, no kids.

Preference is for $$$, but she can filter that out later without having to state it.

Now let's add on the stuff that's not said: At 42, she will likely require extensive IVF and other fertility treatments to even have a chance for a baby. For anyone who's gone through it, each attempt (including multiple rounds of harvesting eggs, etc) is about $100k. Most of which will not be paid by insurance. And that's if you're lucky and it works. If it doesn't work, then depending on your desperation to have kids, you may go through multiple rounds before giving up. So, you should have at least a few hundred thousand -- not part of retirement or other necessary uses, just free cash lying around -- to blow on IVF within the 2-3 year time frame that she's looking at (which will put her at 45, when the chances are even less)

She is a vintage clothing store seller, meaning her "work" is basically a rich woman's hobby. She has no savings, and her income is barely enough to feed herself in the Bay Area. Possibly, she may still have student debt depending on when she completed her useless bachelors / masters and how many loan deferments she got due to her low income. You will be expected to pay off her loans and pay for her "needs" with your shitty 60-80hr/wk job while she can find "purpose in life" by basically pursuing her hobbies while pretending it's a career.

And about those needs. First and foremost, you will need to buy her a house. In the Bay Area. Where a crapshack next to a drug den costs a million dollars. Which would never do for this princess anyway. Given that she wants kids, she will be expecting to buy at least a 3 bedroom house in a good school district. In the Bay Area. This will be at minimum $3million. Did I mention housing costs in the Bay Area?

She has no retirement funds, no rainy day savings, nothing. Because again, she's working as a vintage clothing retailer in the highest cost living region of the country. In 20 years, she'll be looking to retire from... her glorified WalMart clerk job. If you've been diligently saving for retirement, unexpected health care expenses, building up a 6 month savings cushion in case you lose your job, all those things that financially responsible men do, guess what: double it. Because she's not bringing any resources of her own, and your estimated costs now must cover 2 people. And since she's in her forties and likely you are too, you have less time (about 20 yrs) to do this than someone who's marrying and starting out in their twenties who still has the power of compound interest on his side. And you must make up the shortfall with your own income, since again, she's basically a minimum wage retail worker being outearned by teenagers working at McDonald's.

So to summarize the financial needs that are left unsaid: several hundred thousand in free cash to pursue IVF treatments for the kid she and (presumably) you want. The ability to take on a crushing mortgage for a modest house in the most insanely expensive housing market in the country. And on top of that, double / triple whatever you've been setting aside for retirement and savings to accommodate a middle aged person with no savings herself who will be needing those bailouts fairly soon. All while your costs explode due to having an additional mouth to feed immediately, and possibly another 1 or 2 in the near future.

Making all of this work in the Bay Area requires a minimum of $500k/yr or higher, and really, that's the minimum given that you're starting so late and she's not coming in with anything to help. The only way this normally works is if you're earning $500k and the woman is earning at least $200k/yr in her own job, then she'll at least be able to take care of her own expenses and retirement planning while you take on the mortgage and the household stuff.

The truth is, believe it or not, those guys exist in SF. But the problem is that they're "boring nerds". The women in SF have a saying "the odds are good, but the goods are odd." it's they're entitled way of saying that even living in an area where you can throw a rock and hit a millionaire, or someone about to cash out their stock options to an 8-figure net worth, it's not enough to feed their hypergamy. Those guys must also have the personality of the most charming PUA artist, and the body of a guy who does nothing but surf all day. The fact that to hit their payday, they must spend their entire adult lives staring at a screen in a dark room doesn't really matter to them. Nevermind that the women themselves are mostly boring and definitely less good looking than their counterparts in SoCal or NYC. They'll still demand Chad looks and personality with a computer geek's salary and stock options. And then moan about where are all the good men in a city where men vastly outnumber the women.

So there you have it: someone who makes at least a half mil a year, with about a million dollars in free cash to spend on IVF and a down payment within a few years, enough retirement savings to take on a middle age woman with none herself and catch her up by the time she needs that money, while simultaneously having the personality and body of someone who doesn't make that type of money (at least not in SF). Those are her real requirements. The rest is just window dressing.