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Forums.Red / WhereAreAllTheGoodMen / Leftovers

Question: Does becoming less attractive and having more demands make it harder to date?
7

polishknight

Posted 1y ago in Leftovers - Permalink - Locked - 8K Views



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Typo-MAGAshiv asshole. giga-shitlord. worst mod EVAR. 1y ago

"Why aren't men eager to ManUp!™, marry, and have kids with a woman who fucked away her twenties, and is now "less eager to please"?

what the hell is wrong with men?!

The problem can't possibly be me!"

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Overkill_Engine WAATGM Endorsed 1y ago

Nothing makes a man eager to commit like a woman whose past informs him that he is her last resort instead of top choice.

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polishknight WAATGM Endorsed 1y ago

My wife told me upfront that I wasn't the handsomest man around, but I was reliable and good father material and she valued family and I was ok with that. Pragmatic, responsible women are a turn on for me.

The problem as Joker at Better Bachelor points out is when alpha widows "settle" for beta bucks, get a hold on his resources, and then later kick him out of the nest and go back on the CC. I have a cousin whose frumpy wife dumped him for this very reason and 5 years later, he had married a woman who looked like a clone of her, but 15 years younger while his ex, after hitting the bars, wound up with a guy who was his clone, same age as him. It reminds me of the episode of Married with Children where Al Bundy decides to get a new car and sells his old Dodge and unable to get a new car, he goes to the dealership and gets "a car that's just like my old Dodge! It even has all my favorite radio stations already programmed in it! Another 40 payments, and this will be mine!"

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orbilius 1y ago

My wife told me upfront that I wasn't the handsomest man around, but I was reliable and good father material and she valued family

If a woman says that when she's 25 or younger, then she's wise and will make a good wife.

If a woman says that at 35, after fucking bad boys through her 20s, then she's a fool and she's insulting you and you should laugh at her and then ghost her (after fucking her, of course).

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polishknight WAATGM Endorsed 1y ago

She was 25 when I met her.

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Overkill_Engine WAATGM Endorsed 1y ago

Young enough to have other choices. Smart enough to not make them.

Reinforces my point. You weren't her last resort by a longshot.

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polishknight WAATGM Endorsed 1y ago

I shall take that as a compliment for both her, and me. I wish you a happy holiday weekend.

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polishknight WAATGM Endorsed 1y ago

To avoid brigading and having fallen on the sword for you all, I read the followup comments and nobody stated the obvious: It was all "Well, you are now getting the less serious guys to self-censor themselves" and such. That the more demanding she is, the higher quality guys are going into her funnel. This is classic Eff Dee Ess: "Men, REAL men, are attracted to a challenge and have no needs of their own!"

In the past, I did post polite, but helpful observations to try to gently help them but they NEVER listened. I never got a response such as "Thanks for pointing that out to me. With a little work and compromise, I can have a happy family!" So now, I just lurk and gather the goodies to share with you all. Merry Christmas.

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hornetsfalcons12 Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago

The problem with telling them the truth is that you either come at them too light, and they don’t see why their strategy sucks, or you come guns blazing and they get defensive/call you an incel/etc.

Because if the goal is to have less men who just want sex hitting her up, this probably works. But that won’t make the number of men who just want sex stop hitting her up. It’s just going to reduce the number, and the men who do “just want sex” are likely preselected as the guys who can conquer most targets within 2 dates. They’ll say the right thing, she’ll drop the pants, they’ll bail, she’ll assume it’s because “men are scared of commitment”. And around we go.

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Bob_and_Virginia Jr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago

"In the past, I did post polite, but helpful observations to try to gently help them but they NEVER listened."

NEVER help stupid people. They will just resent you for it.

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Problematic_Browser Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago

Nope.

I don't even give advice to stupid people without prefacing it with "you're not going to listen to me anyways, but..."

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Typo-MAGAshiv asshole. giga-shitlord. worst mod EVAR. 1y ago

they NEVER listened. I never got a response such as "Thanks for pointing that out to me. With a little work and compromise, I can have a happy family!"

Were you surprised?

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polishknight WAATGM Endorsed 1y ago

Not terribly surprised in that I thought maybe it was my communication style or whatever. This was even when the women posted "I don't know why I'm not finding reliable men! Please advise me!" so I'd advise them without any harshness, but still, they ignored it. When someone says "I'm not happy with my situation, please give me input" and doesn't take input, that's worse than normal refusal to listen. As Yoda (or a German) might say: "Is strong in them the Delusion is".

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SwarmShawarma 1y ago

I have decided to charge for the advice and do.

Clarey does that. Shrinks do that. Plumbers do that.

I need to find a way to build customer base - sort of assholeconsulting.

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No-Stress-Cat Jr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago

Is this you? https://assholeconsulting.com/

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SwarmShawarma 1y ago

Doxxxxxxeeeed [pronounced in high pitched voice]

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No-Stress-Cat Jr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago

LOL you the man! That's genius.

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Impressive-Cricket-8 Founding member of FapGPT 1y ago

I'm (32f) still able to get second dates, but noticeably fewer than before. Where it used to be 100% of the time, now it's about 50.

Wait a couple more years while increasing your demands and losing your appeal to the opposite sex - that's the secret to getting Mr. Right. Look around and see how many women have gone through this exact same path, and how much happier they are in their 40s and 50s. Nothing can go wrong.

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Mein_Tarnaccount 1y ago

I have a feeling she would actually listen to this advice, and only this advice.

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SwarmShawarma 1y ago

As a regular dude I have million thoughts arriving and dispatching in one day.

One of them was to let my daughter work at old single/abandoned people shelter. IF I have a daughter ofc.

I imagined it would come as close as possible to getting insight how does old age might look like for many years.

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hornetsfalcons12 Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago

That’s actually brilliant. Imagine letting our kids work as an old folks home, full of people who have no one that cares about them. See if burning through relationships looks appealing after that.

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Problematic_Browser Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago

Imagine a system where the youth were surrounded by their elders who could give them advice and maybe help them avoid some of the pitfalls that they experienced in their youth...

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nicknack 1y ago

To offer a different perspective as a guy if I am going to entertain a relationship with a post wall, she has to be a woman with a solid head on her shoulders of good genetic stock and high class. I understand most of these women are married early but let’s just imagine that some of them fall through the cracks.

I only need one date to figure out if this is the case or not, and arguably really only 20 minutes. The moment I see OP’s narcissism and mental issues which blare like a fire truck, I’m not calling her back on a second date or honestly even finish a proper first date.

With pre-wall girls, I’ll ask them on second dates, third dates whatever because they’re young and hot and if young hot pussy is all she has to offer me that’s honestly enough!

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nicknack 1y ago

But to not offer a problem without a solution, because she is not a genuine quality woman she will have to go the young, hot pussy route to get a 2nd date just like she always has. It’s just that now she’s young hot pussy to late 40’s+ guys.

Set your age filter to 47-58, and pick the guys that make an actual effort to talk to you. Not the super handsome “down to meet behind the dumpster? guys you usually went for.

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hornetsfalcons12 Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago

If this woman worked for Disney’s executive team, she’d double park ticket prices, bulldoze Cinderella’s castle, and require annual renewal of ticket purchases, then wonder why less people want to come.

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polishknight WAATGM Endorsed 1y ago

In many ways, that's what has happened. Even as we've heard about Disney's problems with their woke agenda, they still have their parks sold to capacity year after year. It's because global demand has grown along with population and travel availability and they haven't built any more parks in years. They also have about 80 years or so profitability on their classic movies such as Frozen that continue to sell billions a year in merchandise even after the original voice actors have gone into menopause.

I remember a joke video on youtube that Disney was going to conquer the world and that Netflix, Amazon, and Paramount were doomed. If they weren't woke, that might have happened.

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hornetsfalcons12 Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago

Yeah I mean didn’t Disney lose on every movie besides Guardians 3? And they are still wildly profitable. Just not as profitable as they could’ve been if they didn’t leave the door wide open for a competitor like Universal to pump out actual good movies.

The juxtaposition of “Puss in Boots: the last wish” (moral of the story: your friends are more important than selfish desires) to “wish” (moral of the story: everyone should have what they want, when they want it, and you’re probably an evil hwhite man if you disagree) kind of perfectly summarizes their different approaches to storytelling

Snark aside, while Disney’s upper management has been mangling decisions left and right, clearly they could do worse. They could just use leftover woman logic like what I highlighted above

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polishknight WAATGM Endorsed 1y ago

The Hallmark Channel has the market cornered on delusional leftover women fantasies. I liked PnB Last Wish myself and think it was largely wholesome. Goldilocks realized that her bear parents had fully adopted her and she was being ungrateful and Puss made a (stupid, IMO) chivalrous gesture to prove his love and devotion to his girlfriend. But overall, it had a decent ending.

I was thinking as I saw it that nobody thought, well, maybe someone could have wished for a cure to an awful disease or for homes for orphaned children or something like that? The end wish of Never Ending Story was interesting: The protagonist wished for the villainess to have a heart effectively undermining her mission.

But anyhoo, much of woke corporate America is like you said that they still make money and consequently don't lose their jobs because they subsidize wokeness without going under. Indiana Jones was a spectacular dumpster fire.

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chunky 1y ago

Keep doing what you are doing, and you'll keep getting what you're getting.

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Problematic_Browser Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago

As I said to the bartender (she's a total case study on WAATGM and TRP) "If you want different outcomes, you have to make different choices."

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GimmeTheUsual Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago

"Why don't men want to buy my brown, fly-swarmed fruit?"

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Problematic_Browser Sr. Hamster Analyst 1y ago

This reminds me of a date I went on a few months back.

It was fine and all, but she told me that her second date rate was something abysmal like 17% or something. I was thinking about it all evening, wondering where her red flag was.

Sure, she was a touch overweight, but that wasn't right to warrant such a low conversion rate. It wasn't until we were trying to schedule our second date that it became apparent. She didn't want to put in any effort at all - she was needy, demanding, and uncompromising.

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IceNineWithLime 1y ago

"Now, a couple of years of therapy later,"

The key phrase in all of that.

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We're just a bunch of clueless NiceGuys™ with kindness coins that don't seem to work in women's holes so that the sex we're "entitled to" falls out. Because apparently we weren't demonstrating good relationship material through the attention, respect and stability that women demand. We were only "pretending" to be nice just to get laid.

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