Hello there, Been with this girl for 5 years. Me 39 her 28. I went on a trip, come back to find her waiting for me to tell me she moved out. Cool, she had good reasons (dead bedroom, neither of us looks the way we used to), we had discussed the option before, I was pissed at how she went about it but low key thankful tbh. Thing is, convo goes from “I’ve moved out” to “I want us to keep trying” to “this is the plan for what we gonna do this week”. I was shellshocked and didn’t know what hit me tbh - not cause she moved out, but cause the instant 180. By the end of the day we had a nice walk, ann icecream, and I was back in the gym first time in years.
Fast forward, we’ve been living apart and “dating” for a year and she just moved back in - she had to leave her flat, I still have till EOY on mine and moving country then so actually happy to have a test run. Cause the funny part is, she’s been bending over backwards since and pretty much wife material after that scene.
I’ve seen some shit in my time but this I still haven’t been able to make sense of.
Two questions, 1. can someone explain the hell happened that day, and 2. your two cents on whether I should bring her with once I move.
Attempts to answer:
- Me instantly focusing on my rent doubling when she told me she moved out instead of begging her to stay told her she fucked up big time (“this guy doesn’t give two fucks I’m dumping his ass”) and tried to make up since
- Unreliability trumps amends she’s been making. Plus she’s in epiphany phase so good behaviour short term isn’t guaranteed in the long term. So no go.
GeorgeIII 1 2h ago
Re-read what you wrote.
Imagine a close, male friend of yours was in this exact situation. And that he asked you for advice.
What would you tell him to do with this woman? If he told you that he let her move back in with him, would you tell him it was a good idea?
Take that answer, and apply it to yourself.
Also, there is no need to “make sense” of why this happened.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1h ago
Once a woman tries to leave you or does there is no point in trying to make it work
The worst thing a woman can lose in a man is her emotional investment. Once she has lost a sufficient amount of emotional investment in a man she is physically open to other men etc.
I have a one-strike rule. If a woman says she wants to leave or already did it's over. I don't give her re-dos or second chances, those words should be we have crossed her mind and if they have at least never left her mouth
No-Stress-Cat 1h ago
Missing context. What kind of trip? Business, school, hanging with the boys, fucking other girls, or?
brazilianxof 1h ago
I think guys are overseeing this. You didnt break up, she Just moved out after, as you said, a dead bedroom and so.
You are back together and better for what i read. For a whole year. I think you are fine.