Maybe you're in a relationship. Maybe you're married. Maybe it's just a girl that you're seeing.

But I see it time and again on AskTRP..... "How can I make it work with This One Girl". Often there is a disclaimer along the lines of "I think I have other options and it doesn't really matter", which noone quite believes.

Why the question itself is wrong

The question is wrong because it has missed the point. It has missed the subtext, and I can guarantee you that she hasn't missed the subtext. Her understanding of the underlying dynamic is the exact cause of the problem that you are trying to solve with more effort, more resources, more time and more emotional commitment.

So Mattyanon, oh wise one, what IS the problem?

The problem is the power dynamic. She has control and options and you don't.

Look at it this way: if she was your 8th favourite girl and girls 1 to 7 were phoning you night and day offering you hot kinky sex, would you be here asking us How To Make It Work with this One Special Girl? Of course not.

You know it, she knows it.

Somewhere in the deep dark recesses of every girl's psyche she is evaluating your value and your options and your control against her value, her control and her options. She can't articulate it, and even when she can she won't: she knows how bad it would look if she did.

But somewhere deep in her emotional core she FEELS this stuff. And those feelings directly translate into what she says and what she does and what she doesn't do.

If she FEELS that you are lower value, if she FEELS that she can exploit you, if she FEELS that you are not as hot as she thought you were...... she will find herself very rapidly going off sex and reducing her commitment. She won't express this of course, because she knows that that will dry up your provisioning: money, options, security, comfort, protection, listening to her problems. So she says "I'm busy" or "I've got my studies" or "I have a family crisis" or "I am just not in the mood tonight baby".

And then you are here, asking us..... in some indirect way.... HOW TO MAKE IT WORK.

And when you TRY TO MAKE IT WORK, she will FEEL that you are trying to make it work. And this proves that you are low value, have few other options, and that you need something from her. And if you need something from her, you can be 100% certain that she will find a way to charge you for what you want from her. "Oh, you need this to work? Well I need my rent paying baby....". Or listening to her problems. Or giving her a lift to work. etc. etc.

None of this is conscious. But it happens. Every. Single. Time. Marry her and promise her exclusivity and give her a legally mandated providership contract for life and see how quickly she goes off sex. Ask any married man. Obviously women will obfuscate the dynamic... "he let himself go" and "it isn't novel any more" and the classic "I love him but I am not IN LOVE with him".

The Solution

The solution is simple and obvious. You don't try and make it work WITH HER. You give up ON HER. You hit the gym, you talk to other women, you get yourself more options. You stop replying to her. Dread game, except you are not directing this as her, you are improving your own life.

Does dread game work 100% of the time? No, of course not. Especially if your motivation is TRYING TO MAKE IT WORK.

Does hitting the gym and chatting to more women work 100% off the time? That's up to you. You have control over that.

Don't try to make it work.

Make your life work.