I am seeing someone, we’ve smashed about 4-5 times. I like this person but I don’t get optimally stimulated with great erections with Condom on. I believe she is of the opinion we are exclusive as we’ve very lightly communicated it. After the last time we did it, I asked her let’s get tested? She asked why and said I don’t have any disease (not in a butt hurt way). I don’t really want to risk anything with a new partner. How should I go on about this, without making it awkward ?
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Vermillion-Rx Admin 3w ago
This an extremely stupid idea.
I'm only being this blunt because:
1
NEVER GIVE A WOMAN CONTROL OF THE BIRTH CONTROL
(THEIR BIOLOGICAL IMPERATIVE IS TO GET PREGNANT AND GET COMMITMENT [even by lying to baby trap])
And
2
IT IS A WOMAN'S JOB, NOT A MAN'S JOB, TO SECURE COMMITMENT
You're being a fucking retard. Imagine knocking her up from lies, lack of birth control, her not taking it...
What so you can nut better? Dude have some self respect
Also,
Wtf
C'mon dude. You're not RP'ing. Fuck is this blue pill shit
Buy thin condoms like Trojan Bareskin Raw if you have to. You're throwing away your autonomy for pussy what the fuck
Your buying price for commitment is 4-5 times of sex
Have some self respect, wtf
Felix04490 3w ago
Ok thanks I won’t go down that route. The doctor told me to explore it or alternatively offered to use viagra. I was also reading the sex god method and the author says try without condoms if you trust them. But you’re right this is a risk.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3w ago
The author saying no condoms is not TRP endorsed Orthodoxy.
TRP's official postion (from consensus) is that you do NOT give a woman control of your reproductive fate.
Just because we encourage sex god method as reading material does not make that point endorsed advice. It is a terrible decision as a man that many have paid for
Now, anecdotally, i fuck bitches raw and cum in their pussy, IF i truly believe they are clean and are honest about the length they haven't had sex. BUT, I have had a:
Vasectomy
And
2 negative sperm tests
Don't be stupid if you aren't fixed
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3w ago
You're the guy that posted a k close rejection post today too.
My dude, RP correctly or be a chump
The choice is yours. You are n00bing your way into horrible choices
financehardo420 3w ago
Bruh… you shouldn’t have LTR thoughts after 4-5 fucks. You’ve known her like what 2-3 weeks? Maybe 4-5 max assuming 1-2 sessions/week??
Should take 6 months to a year MINIMUM before even considering an LTR.
As for your condom problem, I’m personally a major proponent of the pullout method but you probably need significantly more experience w sex before considering that.
Fuck more women; stop being simpish.
First-light 3w ago
I have been strictly raw dog only for almost 2 decades. This is certainly one reason I have a number of children. I come at these things from a slightly different angle to many guys -if she is not worthy of your seed, don't bang her, don't even flirt with her. This approach certainly rules out a fair amount of risk with trustworthiness of women (please note none of them are totally trustworthy) but there are risks to everything.
You have to get to a point where trust is adequate to dump condoms. When you think you know her well enough and that will depend on a lot of things but if you met her as a random slut in a bar or on an app, then you will need a while to be sure I suspect.
You can certainly pull out even if she is on the pill and that can reduce your risks (though sometimes you really don't want to and if she doesn't want you to either, then this one can get derailed by enthusiasm).
I would just approach this super openly -First establish if you are an exclusive couple. If so, then say "look I hate condoms, they spoil my pleasure, can we move away from them? This is so reasonable that she will only disagree if she does not trust you, hates semen (usually a sign of a squeamishness that will play out in quite a few other aspects of life and a bit of a red flag) or wants to bang other guys without feeling guilty that she is putting you at risk. If she agrees, then say "I want to do this really fairly and openly. There are a lot of things people can have without even knowing and I want to protect you and I am sure you want to protect me. Lets go get tested together" Because its all fair, its very heard for her to feel hurt. If she does feel or act hurt, then that is probably a red flag you should pay attention to.
Hugo_The_Great 3w ago
Can you tell a bit more about the women you got pregnant?
I get that some chick working a dead-end minimum wage job might want your kid & $$ but I only bang early/mid 20 something girls that have brains, are still in med school for years, at the start of their law career etc. Chicks that will lose BIG time as a consequence of having my baby.
And personally I think that the chance of one of them getting pregnant intentionally is near 0 and the chance of them keeping a kid if they get pregnant on accident also minimal.
How did you factor these things in and what was your risk management policy?
First-light 3w ago
So age ranges from 18 to 48 at time of conception. Conception ranged form totally planned to her hope, and my failure to pull out to total accident (probably from doing it lots of times while pulling out). Relationships varied from side chick to wife. 2 aborted purely due to seeing I was a worse financial prospect than they had originally thought (ages 33 and 40, single, also the most experienced with men of the bunch). I had at least one child with 4 others. I won't lie and say it made my life easy or made me rich. I will say I didn't waste time being unpaid entertainment boy to women I would look down on. I bought a genetic stake in the future in return for having fun the natural way with women I valued.
I think if/when the present one (exclusive for years, having been previously side chick for years) vacates/ is asked to vacate, I will be celibate for the foreseeable future. I am done with reproducing and I am not sure women are really worth it without reproduction -its such a bad deal these days for men either way. Either you become entertainment fuck boy who pays with energy and playing at being something empty or you become beta who pays with money and emotion.
First-light 3w ago
You asked for details of the women -generally quite successful (except in one case where I thought it was lifestyle choice but found out it was dysfunction) but none really wedded to career. In chronological order; Student, privately educated, family owned land decided trad wife was an easy life -my error to marry her but I was innocent blue piller, Nurse, part time student (aborted) Deputy head of local council department, Nurse, Cleaner, kind of hippie with rich parents but not as sane as I thought (aborted), Former head girl at private school, good professional job
Hugo_The_Great 2w ago
In regard to the ones that were unexpected, did you think they would keep the kid in advance? I get that a 30-something year-old woman with a semi decent career would keep the kid. What I don't understand is why an early 20-somethin student would keep a baby.
First-light 2w ago
I think its important to remember that sex is a mutual exercise and contraception or the lack of it is a mutual decision made by people who know the facts of life. So while you say "I don't understand why a 20 something student would keep a baby" One might also say "I don't understand why a woman of any age would have sex if she wasn't expecting it might result in a baby and she was prepared to accept that consequence or take steps to reduce that risk" Every woman has slightly different motivations. Women are known for changing their minds but women are not exactly known for doing things they don't want to do are they?
My making a bit of a joke about myself having a fair number of children and that being a consequence of my aversion to condoms has some truth in it and stands as a potential warning to the consequence of liking it raw but I think that really both the raw sex thing and the number of children come down to a life decision I made about 20 years ago. I only wrote a reply to a man asking how to get off condoms and so this is going a bit off course into my personal philosophy. I am not an evangelist but I will try to explain it if you like. It is a bit off topic but if I explain it you may understand how what you see as surprising, I saw as normal.
20 years ago I had heard nothing of the red pill. There was no community of men talking on line that I knew of. I just knew I wanted to do something to break out of being what I would now call "blue pill beta" I was a divorced father, living in a house I had only managed to keep in the divorce by borrowing several times my annual income from a truly generous man. I didn't get to see my kids. I was not even sure if one of them was mine. After my marriage I had tried whores (with condoms because whores are skanky!). I had tried casual sex and I had tried falling in love with a beautiful woman. I saw that in all cases what I would now call "Briffault's law" had applied and I had got nothing of value except experience and unless you use experience to get something worthwhile, it is of minimal value in itself.
So I asked myself "what can a modern man really gain from relationships with women?" -sex and reproduction. Sex and reproduction are the only ways a man actually normally gains from a relationship with a woman these days in the west. Any cooking, cleaning, company, shared labour or financial help a woman brings is usually outweighed by what a man gives her in return -that's Briffault's law for you and I saw that without having it explained to me. I saw women held all the cards legally and they already held all the strong cards from an evolutionary point of view anyway -they were the gatekeepers.
I saw that the Chads got a lot of sex. In a way they were winners from the way that women had immense power and freedom of choice sexually but I didn't really want to just be a fuck toy for women. In the end sex is good but a few months down the line it's value looks pretty low. I didn't want to pour my resources into my appearance, going out a lot and doing stuff to please women when actually I got little personal joy from those things and saw little long term value in them. I was not going to waste my time investing in women unless they invested in me. So if they were not at least in theory up for reproducing, I was not interested in them.
This came with its own risks -financial ones! However I had lived a life of risk in work and in play and I saw that whatever happened, it wasn't going to kill me or cripple me so probably I could live with it if I took serious steps to reduce my financial and legal risks -like never ever legally marry, own a company that is a separate legal entity, buy gold and so on. Having kids won't kill you and it is what you are designed to do. Men are born to take risks. So I said "I will not have any casual relationships from here on. If she does not look and talk like mate material then I am not playing" The advantage of this meant that I no longer had to worry heaps about acting anything but myself to impress women and contraception was not something that frightened me. I had set the big picture straight -sex is a reproductive act. Its fun but sometimes it works for its intended purpose. I only messed with women who grasped that and valued me enough.
My life story took a couple of unexpected twists that not every life has -adventure and death. These have had years of knock on consequences that make my personal story look like I was sort of reproduction Chad but actually it wasn't planned that way. I will gladly admit that less women better chosen would have been more efficient and less headache but that was how the game played out. There are millions of arm chair quarter backs who would all have made better passes but I pulled the shirt on, went out and played. As a coach I can certainly suggest ways other players can do better but I would still tell another player that my overall game strategy was sound enough to be worth playing if he chose to. In the end I got quite a few kids to show for it, still own my house debt free, still have my company and my land, so I didn't crash and burn. I just played the full game of love not the safe low consequence one that is normally played in the west today.
What I did stemmed from a fairly simple decision not to be drawn into a life of "teenage" relationships with women -where you play at courting women and that courtship never gets anywhere except to transfer your resources -financial, time and emotional to women. Its not really adult to assume sex might not result in pregnancy, so only bang women when you and they wouldn't be sorry if you knocked them up. Then you can at least get on with the whole adult love story -win or lose.
Now I am older. I do not think reproduction would be easy for me now -I want the time and the money for myself. If there is a next chapter, I think I will be celibate, stick to post menopausal women or change my whole approach but I am actually glad I played the way I did. I got to have a much deeper experience of life, of love, of women and of my own strengths and weaknesses than I would have otherwise and I got a good genetic stake in the future.
Hugo_The_Great 1w ago
Interesting story & perspective.
Thx for taking the time to share.
You're right about the resource exchange. I think I'm ok being their fucktoy for now, though.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3w ago
Unless from your wife... Yeah no, OP and anyone reading this needs to wear a fucking condom
I don't condone not being sexually irresponsible with women if you can get them pregnant
First-light 3w ago
Its a question of how much risk to you and to her is irresponsible. Dumping loads in random sluts is way too risky for a man these days. I don't advocate this, more the opposite -avoid all random sluts even if trying to have fake sex with condoms -they sometimes break anyway. Nothing is risk free but fake sex will cost you time and money for what? a neurotransmitter high?
Vermillion, you and I come form polar opposite ends of the same problem. I respect your personal decision to be a dance Chad and have a vasectomy but I don't think you can dismiss my choices either. Both of us made risk opportunity trade offs in the face of a sexual market that is hostile to men
From my point of view I argue that giving them STDs is arguably worse. The act is supposed to result in pregnancy. Anything else is just messing with your biology for entertainment. STDs is an accident/ recklessness. Messing up by hardening them to the carousel and players is also damaging and irresponsible.
You know most of those moaners on the WAATGM forum have been shaped/ damaged/ self abused by chads giving them what they wanted then vanishing to enjoy more options more than by men who gave them children and did their best for them.
Nothing here is black and white. Having children is risky for men, sure but so is mountaineering. (Climbing was my first real love which I gave up because she demanded too much). Children at least are what nature made you to do, summits no one else ever climbed before are just pictures on my house wall and my kids probably can't even name the peaks. Who will care when I am gone, who even cares now? Climbing was a nothing in the end. Sex however, with women chosen as wisely as my ignorance and enthusiasm allowed) got me something at a cost and also gave the women a genetic future too. In all cases they were childless before they met me (one of my criteria).
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2w ago
You're missing the point (also I've never acquired or given anyone an STD)
You're absolutely moralizing, which is against TRP rules. All I am saying is it is very stupid to cum in women you aren't married to or deliberately getting pregnant.
You seem to agree about not Cumming in sluts but disagree on women you are aren't trying to get pregnant??
You then responded with moralization about my personal conduct.
Cumming raw in women you aren't purposely trying to get pregnant is such a huge gambit legally and can completely derail a man's journey from kids. Don't respond to that fact with a quip about sexual morality on here. That is not going to fly on here, especially when a man's freedom was being addressed (not being saddled with kids he wasn't trying to have/family court/etc)
First-light 2w ago
I would like to correct one thing please. You wrote "You then responded with moralization about my conduct" I think you misunderstood me here.
I wrote " I respect your personal decision to be a dance Chad and have a vasectomy" I am not moralizing, I am doing the opposite of moralising. I am accepting you and I have different standpoints on this. I think we may both gain from accepting that. We are trading the same negatively loaded sexual market market place with different tactics and different opportunity costs but neither of us is trading recklessly or risk free. I am happy to elaborate on this if you like. I think our views both have a place and if we can shake hands on it, we are both good commentators on the same game, we are just players who had very different game styles.
I would then like to suggest a correction to your comment in bold "All I am saying is it is very stupid to cum in women you aren't married to or deliberately getting pregnant." I would say that I would say "It is a risk to come in women full stop" Do not think that being married to them will reduce the risk. It will just open you to paying more if things go wrong and probably paying lawyers too. Marriage just means she and the state part own you, not that you are legally protected from the consequences of sex with her.
Any sex with women is a risk, cumming in them if you are not fixed is an extra risk for sure, so don't do it recklessly but if you do it, do it with your eyes open and try to balance risks /rewards..
I started off a bit light heartedly saying that my attitude to condoms may be a reason I have many children. This is the only light hearted flippant bit I wrote. The rest is a serious attempt to discuss a serious question. Perhaps the best way I can explain my strategy as being legit and serious is to say; when you learned about guns did your dad/ the sergeant/ the club instructor/ your big brother or whoever you respected who was teaching you tell you "This is the safety, always keep the safety on and you can point it at anything you like" or did he say "I don't care if its empty, the mag off and the safety is on, you never point this at anything you would not be prepared to shoot" I personally say treat your dick like your rifle. Don't point it at anything you would not be prepared to shoot. That makes it easier if you then mess up, because most of us do mess up at some point. So is she a target you would not be prepared to shoot? If so then don't bang, if its not the end of the world if nature takes its course then proceed with caution, you have an adequate backstop. You say "deactivate it and lets play lots of war games" both are OK strategies but playing safety on with live guns is a risk whatever.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2w ago
I accept your comment. I was simply saying no condoms is a pregnancy risk. It's also an STD risk
My point was solely about baby trapping and or being tied to a woman you don't want long term for the rest of your life over it
I didn't think the damage of sloots making their own bad choices with me was relevant to a comment about not wrecklessly getting them pregnant or risking that.
I found it to be heavily off topic. Yes there is an STD risk possibly if you're fixed still, but the comment was squarely aimed at not sacrificing your future to unintended pregnancy, which is arguably one of the biggest death knells of a man's journey and freedom and finances.
Debating anything else was fairly off topic, should have not been in the conversation, and while it's true I'm breaking these sluts even more, because they will have to go on to hide from or tell all their boyfriends some Chad with a vasectomy filled them up repeatedly, that's their choice and it's moralization.
I'm more lenient on here. On the reddit that would have not flown is all I'm saying
I appreciate your contributions on here regardless
First-light 2w ago
Thanks, I agree it has gone off topic a bit. I didn't spot the bit about damaging girls as being moralising but I accept it is. I was thinking about it simply as being a negative a consequence for men as a whole group and for the individual women. Women having a lot of consequence free sex with high value men blunts their ability to bond to men of their own status. But by saying it was negative I can see there could be a moralising inference.
I think there is a real dilemma that men are in these days with sex and reproduction. There will be opportunity costs whatever you do, potentially big. At risk of sounding a bit like a leftist -contraception has intersectional issues for men and so to widen a discussion is not essentially wrong because some of those other issues that weight the choice can be explored. Bound up in that simple decision -rubbers or no? you have; reproduction, pleasure, law, disease risk, lifestyle consequences, self ownership, trust, even self esteem -I am surprised how many men on here feel its a trophy of commitment from a woman, even of their alpha status if they are allowed to nut in women.
In the end a man makes his personal choice but should weigh all the balancing factors first and should not be held to any particular doctrine of "thou shalt not".
Thanks for having me on here. I am not a perfect fit for any groups but I do like to discuss men's issues with men who are not blue pill and I have enjoyed the conversations I have had.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2w ago
Glad we see eye to eye.
My rationale is they are already too damaged and not relationship material. It's like stepping on broken glass. It's already broken beyond repair anyway.
I'd probably reconsider if it was a solid prospect. They're already too far gone. I'm the antihero in a story where they're already helping the villains (feminism, sluttery) and I'm developing my skills so that I have good game/social skills/experience for more solid women
I'm the antihero in my story doing what they wanted anyway.
As for STD risk, i actually turn down whores. I've shot down a lot of pussy. I typically fuck women on their rebound or celibacy spell. I can sniff when women are going home with guys on the reg. I reject them all when they come my way.
I've stayed STD free because I keep my bangs to women needing some D after trying not to fuck anyone. I've slipped up a couple times so there is risk, but i wore rubbers for those ones.
I don't view it as a trophy so much as desire. Maybe they are just sluts though.
Please keep contributing. Despite being over a keyboard I know your personality and intentions
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2w ago
Will respond later
Musicgoon78 3w ago
Sack up and tell her you want to be exclusive and you don't like condoms. A strong man goes after what he wants. Tell her you want to feel really connected and intimate with her.
Tell her you like her enough to have these difficult and potentially awkward conversations.
A good LTR is one where you can freely talk about hard shit. Birth control shouldn't be a hard subject to talk about. If it is, this chick isn't LTR material.
Musicgoon78 3w ago
Also I answered this from a standpoint of how to be direct in your communication. I'm assuming that you are willing to accept the risks of rawdogging?
whytehorse2021 2w ago
Thin condom, sensitivity enhancing lotions. Generic viagra.