Gave commitment to a girl 2 months ago after she asked me to be exclusive. Ive definitely been an insecure bitch lately asking about her N count, if she has been honest about it etc.. She first told me some discrepancies when she expressed how she always used protection with her last bf of two years etc.. one night she ended up saying they had sex in a jacuzzi where the condom half slipped off (this was true verified through her friend via text 3-4 months ago that was still in her phone) She then stated that there was probably about less than a handful of times they didnt use protection.. I moved on from this and let it slide..
Fast forward two days ago, shes telling me she loves me and how she wants to be with me forever etc.. I asked her again if she has done anything with anyone and nows the time to tell me going forward (i asked her multiple times within a months time and she always claimed she was being honest).. she says she wants to be honest.. essentially she sucked off one dude and kissed another... the dude she sucked off was married and she was 21 and he told her he was getting a divorce etc this was 4 years ago.. she said they never fucked etc... she even called him while crying to prove it.. they dont keep in contact... etc... she ended up explaining it was such a traumatic event because she never thought she would be a mistress and how it had ruined her life .. after this she ended up with her boyfriend of 2 years..
So far other than this she is a great girlfriend... sucks my dick when I want, she never denies me sex, shares her location with me, goes from work straight to my place.. pretty much lives with me.. cleans my entire apartment.. introduced me to her father ( he cheated on her mother... my girlfriend and her father talk frequently) and friends.. tells everyone at work about me.. post me all over her social media, told me about a guy at work who randomly hit on her and how she shut it down..
I obviously know lying is frowned upon... but is this one of those situations where is this the standard "white lie" they all tell... is this something I can tell her next time you lie to me this over? or just end it now?
it should be noted.. my N count isnt low.. I could definitely improve my mindset when it comes to abundance... while hooking up is fun and having ONS etc.. I do find LTRs more appealing
thank you all.
TLDR - Girlfriend lied about sexual past.. other than that submissive and does everything an LTR should do in my opinion. Cooks, cleans, comes from work straight to my place, goes to church, has a small group of nerdy friends, shares location etc. called out of work the last two days to plead her case to me
First-light 5mo ago
They pretty much all lie about their pasts. The only time they ever tell you the truth is before anything happens or at least when they are not thinking of a future with you or if they are totally confident of themselves and don't care what you think (not super attractive trait). Once they care what you think, they tend to lie.
Its best not to be needy. Just log the discrepancies. One day if she is really relaxed and trusting, you might be able to get the discrepancies cleared up but not if you ask frequently or urgently, that will send her underground faster than a dog sends a rabbit.
They lie because they want you to think well of them. They double down on lies because they fear you will disapprove of the truth.
If she is attractive and has been on the market for a few years, she would have some bad psychological issues if she didn't have a past. There are no fresh vintage sane ones on the market. Why would there be when sex has almost no consequence in today's world and pussy begging betas will be clamouring for even the most used models? Its the reality, sadly.
mattyanon Admin 5mo ago
Yes, this is trickle truth. It starts gradually but eventually you realise that it was an outright lie to start with.
Ok, I'm going to take a middle ground here.
This girl is pretty good but not perfect.
So, I'd say..... worth sticking with, but never put yourself in a position where anything she says could massively negatively affect your life.
Also, have you tried asking her why she lied? Her response would be interesting.
NineFive17 5mo ago
Im still with her, i told her any lie big or small will result in termination of the relationship.
She said it’s because it was a traumatic experience for her, her friends shamed her for the situation of fucking around with a married man. Her father cheated on her mom and she never thought she would be a mistress.. essentially the dude fed her lies and she was 21 and retarded.
NineFive17 5mo ago
Additionally.. her time frame matches up.. she was lesbian for most of her life.. around 20 she kissed some guy, ended up starting to experiment with her first bf, fucked around with the married man, kissed another guy.. settled down with the first dude she fucked around with who became her bf of two years. After they broke up she ended up with a chick for 6 months and split .. there was about 3 months down time until her and I met.
mattyanon Admin 5mo ago
Ok, this is very, very bad.
She isn't saying "I am sorry I lied to you, that wasn't right".
She is saying "it's not my fault! it's a man's fault! blame the man! I was traumatised by this experience that I put myself in!".
Fucking bad man...... fucking bad.
NineFive17 5mo ago
Should I still give her a chance or eject.. not trying to cover her ass but during this she did take some accountability saying she was naive and should have known better. Dont know if that helps or not
Let me also clarify during all this she did say things such as “im sorry for lying, i know i broke your trust i can prove to you, you can me, let me show you, ill do anything, i will work for your trust.”
That is an exact quote
mattyanon Admin 5mo ago
but still did it 5 times, maybe more??
anyone would say this to cover their ass.
look, it's up to you what you do from here
NineFive17 5mo ago
I appreciate your honesty and advice, you probably have more experience than me all around.. what would you do? Second chance or hit the eject button?
oowiw 5mo ago
It depends if you have the emotional flexibility to be in an LTR without getting too invested. If you can, then that's what I'd recommend - enjoy the good day to day, keep a wary eye open, and don't invest anything you're not willing to lose. When the time of loss comes, it'll be a bummer but it's not like you didn't already factor that cost in, it can still be a net win LTR wise.
NineFive17 5mo ago
Curious to know how you for see this going? When you say “when the time of loss comes” are you referring to AWALT ? They all eventually leave? I dont have nearly as much experience as the guys here with the redpill mindset and obviously im working towards that.
oowiw 5mo ago
Nobody can tell which women are like that, and which might not be - that is why the saying is AWALT - it would be more literal as AWMBLTAYNK: All women may be like that and you never know.
You can never know, so you plan on that basis - when you're preparing for risks, you prepare on the assumption that it could always happen to you, never on the assumption otherwise - and in the meantime you enjoy without becoming reliant.
Never invest more than you're able to comfortably lose. For many people that means LTRs are generally bad, for some people, that can include LTRs - it depends on your ability not to become overly dependent.
Testme 5mo ago
What is the question?
Lone_Ranger 1 5mo ago
You are in her frame. This cannot be salvaged.
Lone_Ranger 1 5mo ago
LTR is lying??? We're all lying. A 25 year old woman will have sucked an extravagant amount of cock before you lay hands on her.
The fact that your even discussing her past means that you are 100% in her frame. Asking women their n count is like showing them the dartboard - they now know how to control you, they know your weak spot.
AbusiveFather1 5mo ago
bigass red flag. colossus of rhodes size
NineFive17 5mo ago
Im not making excuses but I do the same..
No-Stress-Cat 5mo ago
There's your problem right there. You think men and women are the same.
Dxmx99 5mo ago
Why are you being a fag about her N count in the first place?
NineFive17 5mo ago
I know, thats why.. I felt like this was avoidable and ultimately falls back on me.. the only reason I would even consider not tossing her to the side is because of everything she has done in the relationship has been solid.. I just want to know if im in the wrong for looking past this situation and telling her from this point forward any lie of any size is a termination of the relationship
Anbessa 5mo ago
Because you don’t marry second hand sluts
NineFive17 5mo ago
whats your take on this? would I be an absolute idiot to continue?
Anbessa 5mo ago
These are my two cents
NineFive17 5mo ago
When you say stop overthinking are you talking about just break up with her and move forward? You think I should just end it? Also what do you believe would qualify her to be LTR worthy ?
Anbessa 5mo ago
You’re overthinking because you don’t have any trust in her and you’re letting her control your mind. You’re being paranoid and insecure. If you can’t trust her, you can’t marry her. That’s common sense.
Move on and find someone better.
NineFive17 5mo ago
Well for the next LTR/ Girl I vet do you think most of these qualities she has are desirable in a girl? Besides the lying of course
Anbessa 5mo ago
This should address most of your concerns:
https://www.forums.red/p/TheRedPill/4430/ltr_the_bare_minimum_you_need_to_know
Q8waker 5mo ago
Watching this vid from red side https://www.trp.red/feed/status/[youtu.be/MJxbiHBpSc4?si=x0AOZwmKFnOfBi3](https://trp.red/t/14xc)_ just after reading the topic from link
good one
coolsocks00 1 5mo ago
You’re acting needy and it’s cancer to the ltr.
Intrepid_Place53900 1 5mo ago
how old are you? If you are under 30, LTR are fine, but don't get so serious about them, assume you aren't getting married, this is just for fun.
Don't come out and ask about N count , girls lie, everyone should know that. She's 25, she's gonna have experience.
If a girl thinks lying is her best course, she'll do it. The hamster probably even makes her believe it.
If it is something that concerns you, what you do is act cool about it and talk about past experiences, here she will possibly open up about things she's done and give you an idea of her background. Note, it's only going to be a portion of what she's done, always assume she's done more than she's expressing.
If she treats you as her best option, enjoy it.
If she doesn't do all of this, she's not even LTR worthy
In the bedroom, make her your sex toy, she will enjoy it, if you do.