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polishknight WAATGM Endorsed 1d ago Stickied
Someone please post this to the Reddit version of the site since I am unable to and it drives traffic to the site, thank you, Merry Christmas (week).
Regarding flair: She's asking some Big Questions but was considering putting her in Leftovers or even WAATGM in the Making. If someone desires to reflair, I shan't be heartbroken.
Typo-MAGAshiv asshole. giga-shitlord. worst mod EVAR. 1d ago Stickied
The flair "The Big Question" is about the question the subreddit and forum are named after: "Where Are All The Good Men?" (and its variants). More info here.
This one is asking how to be more approachable. She's very pretty for 36, but is having troubles. She doesn't realize or understand that men have adapted to the demands women have made to leave them alone.
She posted this video because she feels rejected. To women, "looking approachable" and "smiling" and "showing obvious (in their own heads) interest" is shooting their shot, and if the man doesn't take the bait, the woman feels rejected. She probably doesn't consciously realize this, but she's most likely really more interested in getting validation than advice. She's hoping the comments will just be "you're so pretty! It's his loss!"
The advice I'd give her is the following:
She likely wouldn't listen, and very likely would abhor the very idea that she should take any action past what she already has. She'd probably try to label me an "incel" even though I've been married longer than she's been a legal adult and fucking since before she finished puberty, and would probably be the kind of guy she'd try her shit on at a store until she saw my ring (it has happened to me a few times).
Nah, she'll continue to post videos like that, because most women want validation and reassurance over real advice that involves any effort or change on their part. After all:
effort is a tool of the patriarchy!
NotaBene Sr. Hamster Analyst 9h ago
Even then, I think most guys would be put off by a woman that forward. Stinks of desperation, which most likely means you are the last resort after her sordid past.
No, we are done. I don't even look at women anymore or give a friendly nod, as I try to do to men (and if you've ever lived in new england, you know how counter-cultural even that is). Secretly, I actually care about women and don't want them to ruin their lives, but it's not my business and they won't listen to anything I have to say anyway. Not worth my time to throw pearls to swine.
Also, if you want to save/improve a culture, you go after the men. Women will follow men (especially when it's their only option), but the reverse is not true. For most of US history women did not vote, work outside the home, get involved in politics, go to college, or fight in war. We are headed back to that because history has taught us that literally none of those are good ideas and should never have been tried in the first place. Only question is how bloody the return to basics will be.
Overkill_Engine WAATGM Endorsed 23h ago
And she is also taking for granted that she's not the same level of desirable that she was 10 or 15 years ago. Many men are going to rightfully suspect a 30+ year old woman of being off in some way if she made it that far in life and is still single since many women literally monkey branch directly from one "relationship" to the next.
polishknight WAATGM Endorsed 1d ago
I'm amused at how words mean different things to them. She asks for "help" but she wouldn't, and quite likely has refused, to take it in the past. The answer is simple: She has to make an actual effort and she doesn't want to do that. It's not just the effort she's dodging accountability on, but also the manipulative game of transactional relationships: If he approaches then she can demand he go through further hoops, shit tests, and paid dinner dates (on him.)
Men were told for decades we could expect NOTHING from women anymore we didn't earn. We want her to cook our meals or clean our homes? We better pay ALL of the bills then (including shopping sprees!) "Jane, his wife!" https://youtu.be/tTq6Tofmo7E?list=RDtTq6Tofmo7E&t=40
Absent a DeLorean time machine, she is not entitled to 1950's behavior from men anymore. There are so many reasons why the 1950's is dead, and feminism is just one of the perpetrators that killed it and peed on the remains.
Not only that, but she's a Leftover and.a Heightist (which, don't want to get into a flamewar over, but Heightist Leftover should perhaps be a flair category of its own).
I chuckle at her attitude that she "invites" men to approach her by smiling in their line of sight. "I'll let you do what I want if you qualify". She's past her prime wanting prime men with options to jump through hoops.
NOBODY has any mercy or pity towards men who refuse to improve themselves yet want relationships, much less prime relationships with women.
"How would you feel if you didn't have breakfast this morning?" "But I HAD breakfast!"
Typo-MAGAshiv asshole. giga-shitlord. worst mod EVAR. 1d ago
I took her comment of "taller than me" as "bonus!" rather than "he met some minimum arbitrary requirement".
My wife is also 5' 10", and she realized early on that if she restricted herself to only men taller than herself, that she's eliminating a lot of decent men for something kind of stupid. Additionally, she also realized she was competing against the petite little women for the same men. She's smarter than most women, and has dated men shorter than her (her longest relationship before me was with a 5' 7" man), but when pressed admits that she still prefers taller than herself deep down.
So back to the woman in the video: it seemed to me that she mentioned it as a nice bonus in the man's favor, rather than as a "he met my requirements".
She's still a bit of an idiot.
polishknight WAATGM Endorsed 1d ago
I appreciate what you're saying, but this "bonus" statement reminds me of the "settling" attitude: "I don't REQUIRE men to earn more than me, but it's a bonus" and then if he doesn't, she's lukewarm about him.
Here's the interesting thing about hypergamy whether income or height: As women become taller or more successful, and they regard men who are shorter/less wealthy than them as unmasculine by default, doesn't that make them necessarily "masculine" as they become successful or taller?
Let's turn this around: If a man wanted a woman who was shorter or earned less than him so he could dominate her, I can hear the shrieking of the womanists out there about him being a psycho but what are men supposed to feel in relationships? To be tall and successful to be disposable bodyguards and ATM machines?
Being successful and powerful is a good thing, particularly if you're male, because you can lead a good life: Afford good things but even at home, men don't want to be powerful simply to enjoy peace and happiness in his own crib. Hence why the "strong and independent" women are confused by the dynamic that apparently the men in their league, or rarely higher, are not interested in being challenged as to whether he's "intimidated" by her?
I liken this model that strong, independent women have for masculinity to the running joke in The Pink Panther films of Inspector Clouseau asking his assistant Kato to continual stalk him to "keep him on his toes" with often hilarious results:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tu1RZaFnkKs
Basically, if a woman wants to be feminine and dominated by a man, she can do this for nearly ANYONE, really. The question is, do they REALLY want to in their current mental state-of-mind?
JudgeSmales 19h ago
She's trying to frame smiling (not having her usual Resting Bitch Face) as actual "effort." She thinks she has already met the man halfway and therefore it's up to him to put in some effort and approach.
But this just seems like another case of: Men must "do" and women only must "be." She really didn't want to "do" anything. She just wanted to "be," and place the onus on tall-Chad to sweep her off her feet while she pretended to shop for avocados or whatever.
At 36, she might want to, you know, employ a more aggressive strategy with some genuine "effort." But that might include the very real possibility that she will be rejected, and that would cause every circuit in her brain to smoke.
First-light Jr. Hamster Analyst 16h ago
Miss at 36 you are like a Christmas tree seller who is refusing to advertise on the 22nd of December. You have good trees to sell but buy the 25th no one is going to want one. Soon those things will be worth more as woodchip.
Approach potential purchasers or you won't sell your produce. What you are doing -zero advertising is not working. Would advertising make the success rate any lower?
It is a mistake to think that a guy is a permanently switched on pussy seeking magnet. This is like the spergs who look for IOIs in everything women randomly do in a day. Most things we do are not related to sex. Maybe he was just doing his shopping. Maybe he wasn't thinking about pounding some pussy. Try surprising him. You know how good it makes you feel to be approached? Well for a guy its more than double the joy because that sort of thing happens at least 10 times less often in a man's life. Go on make his day. Even if he is taken, he will surely have a smile on his face when he tells his friends day and it won't hurt you a bit.
A mate is not a female right anymore than it is a right for those incels women mock.
polishknight WAATGM Endorsed 14h ago
My X feed exploded with women griping about the housechores gap and how women are oppressed because men aren't "stepping up" to look after the kids or wash dishes. These women posters try to come across as not pathetic by saying: "If you men don't step up, we'll just net get married. So there!"
And... that's an option in the dating marketplace or any really. One can demand $100/hour to wash dishes and refuse to work for anyone otherwise.
She doesn't HAVE to approach men. Or date someone whose not at least as tall as her. Who doesn't earn more. Or so on.
All of these demands, however, decrease her likelihood of getting married and having a family and, most importantly as we know on here, they have a tighter timetable than men do.
The thing smart players are finding out about the game is the relative advantages women and men have. Women have insane advantages when they're young, but even they have limits. Even a pretty 21 year old girl will likely wind up with nothing if she insists upon the three sixes AND plays hard-to-get games.
In the case of the 36 year old, it's even worse than the Christmas tree seller. For the record, celebrating Orthodox Christmas is wonderful: I picked up a great tree on December 23rd for a mere $25. Hmmm, interesting analogy here: The tree seller didn't play games. He didn't just stand by trees with a smile on his face, but otherwise no signage the trees were for sale. ANY customer was the right customer.
NotaBene Sr. Hamster Analyst 9h ago
I consider myself religious to the point that most guys on here would call me an extremist (and I would thank them for the compliment). I do not buy trees or presents* for Christmas because these things have literally nothing to do with each other, so I have saved a lot more than $25 over the years :)
*Yes, that includes the wife. I get her presents when I feel like it, not because it's her birthday or some made-up, commercialized holiday. Also, as JP just articulated three days ago, there is no win scenario with getting your wife presents https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWRSg85KsZw
mattyanon TRP Endorsed 1d ago
Translation: "What can I do to change without actually changing anything or doing anything - please tell me I don't need to change a thing and tell me that I'm already perfect".
Typo-MAGAshiv asshole. giga-shitlord. worst mod EVAR. 1d ago
Pretty much what I said, but more succinct.
It's so obvious once you're able to see it!