Oh man, this touched a nerve. I should probably make it a post on WATGMA given its length, but here goes...

There are many reasons she doesn't / refuses to understand why she never sees men in any of these things. To the points that other commentators have made, I'd add these:

1. Any gathering that has a large percentage of women sucks. And that's not just me as a man saying this. Even women hate hanging out with tons of women, because inevitably, things turn catty and gossip and stupid social drama overwhelms whatever solidarity or purpose the group may originally have had. For men, in contrast, a male-only group, regardless of what it's for, is like heaven. A chance to bond -- even with strangers -- and grow closer over time rather than tear each other apart over nonsensical BS drama. That's why they're constantly invading our spaces. Despite all the #metoo nonsense, a woman would rather risk the [low] chance of an occasional inappropriate remark from a man, than deal with the [constant] drama that any female-dominated gathering inevitably devolves to.

I bet lots of the things that the OP is doing, they initially had a lot of men, maybe was even exclusively men. But men know the first time a woman shows up is like a warning shot to get out soon: that single woman will love being there, because there's no female drama, and the guys are polite and attentive to her, and the group is focused on its purpose rather than social drama. She will inevitably invite a few of her friends, some of whom have no interest in the subject at hand, but just "want to meet men" or be part of the cool kids club. At some point, the accommodations that need to be made for these women (whether in altering the initial purpose "why do we always have to go fishing? Next week let's do crocheting!", or needing to spend more time on tamping down the drama, or whatever) get to be too bothersome, and men start to leave. This starts a rapid downfall with every additional woman coming in leading to 2 men getting out, until the group is completely women. At that point, the women look around asking "where are all the men?" while not understanding that they have no interest in the Gossip Girl clique that the group has degenerated to.

I remember many years ago, I was visiting a husband and wife couple and we were walking in their city. The guy had to run an errand, and the wife asked me to come with her to return some yarn (we were all friends). She mentioned that there was a knitting class going on at the store, and said "come with me, maybe you'll meet a girl!" I was intrigued, since knitting classes were all the rage those days. Believe it or not, I had learned how to knit when I was a little kid and my Mom taught me (along with using a sewing machine to repair clothes, and needlepoint; she'd buy my sister and me those project kits where you can sew all the little x's and end up with a nice design that you could frame). But that class... I was literally the only guy in the entire store. When I walked in, no one was talking. All of the girls in the class looked at me like I was a piece of meat and they hadn't eaten in days. It reminded me of that scene in Hitchcock's "The Birds" where they open the garage door and the entire lawn is filled with birds just sitting and staring at the people. I didn't even wait for my friend to finish her business; I told her I'd wait outside and ran out of there as fast as I could. It was unsettling. With whatever quick glances I had made, it seemed that the girls were mostly my age, and maybe a few of them might even have been cute (I can't remember anymore; I blocked it out almost as soon as I had left). But there was no way in hell I would have joined that class or even spent more than a few minutes in that store, despite the fact that, yeah, I kinda enjoyed knitting when I was a kid.

1. Related to my first point, for men joining a club, the purpose of the club is the foremost goal, and the socializing is a secondary benefit. This is how we approach most of our life e.g. our workplace is a place to get work done and get a paycheck. Any friends made along the way are a nice bonus. In contrast, for women, the purpose of the club is usually secondary to the social aspects. For example, if men start a book club, they'll usually read non-fiction: business books, biographies, histories, etc. and the discussion will be about the book and how we can improve our own lives / thinking / etc with the book's insights. Yes, we might become friends as well, and maybe have a few drinks while we discuss, but that's secondary. In contrast, a woman's book club will 90% be fiction, and not even good fiction, like reading classics and trying to understand the layers of meaning and insight that authors like Dostoevsky or Shakespeare had. But rather bad fiction that is nothing but female drama written down on paper. And the 10% nonfiction will be 9% stupid self-help and relationship books, and 1% autobiographies written by people who haven't earned the right to write an autobiography yet, but are therefore more "relatable" to the ladies book clubs that will inevitably buy them so they can validate their own lives ("See, my miserable, alcoholic, purpose-less life is just like this guy, and he got published, so it must be okay! Plus, it means I'm not alone, and I carry no responsibility for my life since [a few] others also made the same mistakes!")

2. Because of the legal restrictions on outright men-only spaces, men have had to figure out how to create them by other means. As others have mentioned, first off is simply doing it at your house and inviting only guys. Every guy who's a part of these groups knows that they're welcome to bring a buddy along, but anyone who brings along a woman (even if it's a woman the rest of the group knows) will probably be disinvited from future events.

Also for the truly social events, we mask the purpose of our meeting, to make it less interesting to women. For example, most women have no idea why men like to golfing. So when my buddies and I arrange a "golfing trip", even if it's technically open to women, we know that none of the women in our group will come. But the whole reason why golf is awesome is that it's a way to spend a nice afternoon in essentially a manicured park, riding a fun motorized cart, and drinking beer with your buddies. Plus a little exercise walking the holes. And overlooking a bad putt here or there builds friendships. It's such a good bonding exercise that most business executives consider it mandatory to be a good golfer in order to schmooze customers. Heck, I don't even know how to golf. But I'll happily go along because it's just fun to hang out with the guys. But no woman ever wants to come, which is the whole point. If instead, we said "hey, we're going to hang out at the park with a cooler full of ice cold beer, and maybe get some walking in" they'd flood the space.

Similarly, a few of my buddies have boats. And when we announce that we're going to fish, no woman wants to come (except for a single one who, annoyingly, happens to love fishing; so we try to schedule when she's busy :-). And yes, we do fish. But the best part is being out in the water, away from humanity for several hours, where we can relax and just enjoy each other's company while waiting for the fish to bite. Again, if we told women "Hey, we're going to hang out on a boat this afternoon, enjoy the waves and the sun, maybe grab lunch on the dock, and oh yeah, occasionally hold a stick out in the water (as the saying goes, there's a fine line between fishing and standing on the side of the boat with a stick looking like an idiot :-)" they'd be jumping into the boat in waves.

Since this woman is probably really asking "Where are all the rich men?" I'll tell her: they're at events where the sticker price is specifically designed to weed out gold diggers. Expensive steakhouses are a great place to meet rich men (So great that it's not uncommon for high-priced escorts to wait at the bar looking for customers). But, unless you're coming as a rich man's date, you will need to be willing to spend a few hundred on your meal, or at least 50-100 on drinks at the bar, in order to get near them. And most women don't even like steak. Same with cigar bars, and other places that are technically open to women, but not really feasible for poor people. Sure, when we want some eye candy, or to flirt with women, we'll go to "trendy" bars or restaurants that are a little less expensive and where the food is more instagram-worthy (aka women will be willing to buy it) and they will be filled with women on their special girls-night-out monthly splurge and who are looking for guys themselves. But when we want to just enjoy our own company, we'll choose the steakhouse where they won't get in. They're specifically designed to be unattractive to women (masculine decor, low lighting, no instagram-worthy shots to be found).

Sorry for the long post. I think this triggered me because I've recently moved and I'm looking to join a gym. I've been blissfully unaware of the whole "toxic gym" culture that influencers have created, because my last apartment building had a gym in the building just for residents, and so I never had to deal with it. Upto now, all the gyms I've been to, even if there are women there, they're mostly there to workout and it hasn't been a problem. And the guys are all doing their thing, but friendly if I ever needed a spotter or wanted to share equipment between sets. I'm pissed that now I'll have to also watch out for stupid fitness influencers secretly taping guys doing random things to feed their outrage click-bait tiktok channels. Sigh. Maybe I should just buy some equipment for my house...

I can only shiver at whatever she means by 'do activism'

All I see is purple hair, nose rings, hairy legs, tattoos and body positivity. And shrieking. Lots of shrieking.

Just rape our male spaces why don't you

why aren't men attending leftist activism classes and why aren't men joining my feminist book club or my activist groups?

I wonder

I'd go to more social things if there were men there. Women have infiltrated all institutes.

I can't slam a few beers with bros after work.

I can't smoke pipe tobacco and discuss books at a book club with the bros.

I can't lift weights in a dirty gym with HGH gut bros and chit-chat in between sets.

I can't join a DnD club and larp with fellow sweaty nerd bros.

Wherever women are they turn everything cringe and gay. I think the most saddening thing is that we men have isolated us from each other and turned into low test simps. The concept of brotherhood and male friendship has also been destroyed and if someone would wish for men-only hobbies and gatherings people think that's homosexual or incel-ish. I'm pretty sure a number of men here think it's homo when they read above mentioned gyms, book clubs etc.

That has never been the case before in modern history. We had jock chad fraternity clubs. We had chess clubs. Boy scouts. Playing with your grunge band in the garage. Go to some dirty bar at the harbor as seamen. Fighting together in wars. Spitting in each others' palms and taking a blood oath to be friends forever. Joining a Harley gang. YMCA. Joining a male only 12 step program and have a male sponsor. Everything is totally and utterly eradicated by feminism and woke-ism. Males hanging out with each other has been stigmatized and "gay". In my opinion, this is a huge societal issue that's rarely spoken of.

She means, where are the men SHE FINDS ATTRACTIVE. Other men don't exist to her. The rest of us saw #metoo as a last straw because everyone knows ugly guys cant even breath near women.

Men can socialize with other men just fine. We know they will invade our spaces so we have created uninvadable spaces: our homes. I invite my male friends to watch UFC fights and boxing matches AT MY HOME. No one (so far) can legally invade that.

I am sure when women do cotton onto this, they will legislate against men hosting their friends at their own homes too.

Womem like to bore all man places they go as a social shit test with their hostile passive-agressive behavior.

They tried/are trying on videogames, for example. Problem is, fail is expensive in the millions in this industry and their shit test is becoming a serie of failures. So, they are being shut down.

Dota 2

Not since they started demanding my phone number to play. No way.

But srsly. Playing teh vidya games and developing my many hobbies, even in middle age, is way more fun than talking to women that think they are sophisticated because they "do activism".

Women doing these things probably fucked up not locking down a high value man in college. These are adult adult things meaning you're 25+ and have no natural outlets for socialization. So by definition they are approaching or past the wall.

And there are not "zero" men of course, just zero in the top 20% who already have a partner or don't see the value in leftovers at a book club.

"Oh I am too tired to cook! I have been out today shopping, then I met my friend and we had coffee, then I went to swim and then the book club I am exhausted! Never saw any men, where are those losers?"

"Working, and resting probably"

It's female hamstering. They want the disney fantasy that they go to a class or a book club and prince charming sweeps her of her feet.

This seems to be all the rage on TikTok at the moment as "girlie" advice. Clearly none of them stop to think about it for very long. Are men going to be going to the local cafe at 1pm to discuss 50 shades of grey - probably not.

But hey, where all the men at.

They're doing invite only private hangouts, hoe