This is just another great example of a woman that wants 'romance' but doesn't actually want marriage. She's a standard, cookie cutter NPC woman. She wants doors opened and compliments etc (romance) but when she had an actual marriage (4 kids, husband, 2 houses, boat etc) she was bored and wanted more.

This kind of woman will never, can never be happy. She simply can't.

Ladies: ROMANCE is what gets people together. It's there at the beginning of a relationship to bring people together. Loyalty, trust, friendship, love and commitment are the things that HOLD people together.

I can't believe that we are having to explain this to 47 year olds. It should be easy to understand as a 14 year old.

Oh fuck me, here we go again.

No lady, you are not 'intimidating'. You are imitating shit that you want in a guy, and men don't want that in a woman. We don't give a flying fuck if the girl we like is a broke barista. We don't care what degrees you have. We don't care what fucking car you drive, or if you can tear down drywall.

The fucked up thing about this society is how the whole dynamic has been inverted. Now, men are pushed to be soft and emotional pussies, women are pushed to be hard-assed bitches making money and forgoing forming families.

No wonder the replacement rate around the world is plummeting. This program, subroutine, whatever - its a doom loop that we have to break the fuck out of, or quite simply, there will not be many people left just from the aging-out process.

Wouldn't that be ironic, we don't destroy ourselves through technological or other means, we just fade the fuck out like an echo in the night.

Unfortunately you have a knack for being a whore, please take a lollipop as you exit my presence.

That was a lot of words to say "I've become a poor facsimile of the man I want and can't figure out why men don't want that in a woman."

I see what's going on here. Middle aged divorced guys with custody of their kids would like to have a woman around and are willing to take on a single mother who has no debt, good income, and assets. They probably see it as not a burden if she is financially handling her kids and he is handling his kids. It's a win-win for both of them and the kids. But he's already been burned by the marriage scam so when she brings it up he bails.

Damn, after reading all that I realized that it used to take YEARS to vet a woman properly, and now it takes fucking DECADES.

Do i have a knack for repelling men from commitment?

I think they look at me and my profile and think "there's a woman who doesn't need a man" and they find that attractive.

I see this is more likely to be a case of her misunderstanding "in spite of" versus "because of." Because I really doubt that men have this mindset at all when it comes to women, and based on her description of her dating life, she is another woman how "intimidates" other men. Not only that, but she keeps finding the men who "just are not ready to date." Which is more likely just a less direct way of saying "I don't want to date you" (this is a practice I disagree with, as being indirect with someone else in attempt to spare feelings just leads to more problems).

Just another case of a woman becoming the man she desires to have herself. It also does not help that she is in her 40s post divorce trying to find a man to marry when most men in her age range are either already married, got burned through divorce and do not wish to seek it again, or just gave up on the idea long ago.

Another idiot who has watched pretty woman too many times. And intimidating is womaneze for insufferable cunt

I feel similarly "intimidated" by the smell of a clogged sink.

Oh shit, she likes stand-up paddle boarding...

...well in light of that very relevant information, why the fuck is she single? That doesn't make sense...

Her first sentence is golden and basically sums up the rest of it: "I've been doing a lot of thinking about what I want and what I seem to attract and why that is." She is not thinking about why she wants what she wants. That's just a given and no one better dare tell her she should change that part. Nope. The only part she's thinking about is why she attracts what she attracts.

So she's asking for advice on how to change who she attracts, but isn't interested in examining whether what she's looking for is the right / realistic / best thing to look for in the first place.

Of course, she then botches both issues. She wants something wildly unrealistic to her current value. She is a mid-40s, "cute" but not really attractive, divorced mom with 4 kids who are nearly grown. And she is looking for someone probably just slightly older (say 40s-mid-50s) who makes more money than her, who somehow wants an independent woman (why would he, when he makes plenty himself) but treats her like an affectionate, dependent partner. yeah okay...

I guarantee you the men who told her she's intimidating are lying. Even if they are friends, the last thing they want to do is create drama by telling her the truth. She should also ask them if her jeans make her look fat and see what they say. Telling a woman she's intimidating is a nice social lie similar to "it's not you, it's me" that allows you to reject someone by saying they're too good for you. Which, coincidentally, is the other response she gets from men, that they're not "ready for a relationship".

Here's a hot tip: yes, there are men only looking for hookups (just like women), but they usually fuck and chuck pretty quickly. If someone spends 7 months with you, introduces you to their kids, etc. then that guy is not only ready for a relationship, he's been trialing you for it. And you failed. Yes, he'll let you down nicely with the "it's not you, it's me" routine, but it's not true. If an amazing woman who satisfied all of his criteria came down from the heavens, he'd slap a ring on her so fast he'd cause skin burns. Very few people are truly "not ready for a relationship". If a debt-free virgin with no tattoos who looks like Sydney Sweeney and is kind, sweet, and loyal happens to walk down the sidewalk, 99% of avowed bachelors and even MGTOW's would be on their knees proposing. When people say they're not ready for a relationship, the most charitable explanation is that they're not ready to make the type of sacrifices or changes they know they'd need to to make a relationship with you work, which is usually some combination of the sacrifices are too high, the value they get in return is too low, and he believes (correctly or incorrectly) a better offer will be available sometime in the future.

If she's truly financially independent, then she can probably attract a cub with a cougar fantasy, who will live off her money and be her house husband. While she wears the pants, makes the money, etc. But that's not what she wants. She wants a guy who has a better career than her and yet will sacrifice his career when her career demands it, is affectionate and cuddly to her while she can spend most of her time addressing her kids' needs, and is ready to commit, but willing to overlook the hordes of younger women who are also looking for a commitment-minded alpha bucks. And rather than question whether what she wants needs to change, all she's asking is how she might lie about herself ("dumb down" things) so as to snag one (and doing a poor job at understanding what attracts these men anyway). Hope it works out...

I am so intimidated that I am contemplating buying a solo canoe and paddling around the Boundary Water Canoe Area for a month. If she gets any more intimidating, I may have to make it two months.....

The man she wants can do better. He can get a childless woman 20 years younger if he wants.

She threw away her husband because he didn't make a fuss of her. She says she never doubted he loved her but he just didn't show it enough. She is going to be a lot lonelier now.

Sounds like a fatty to me. Nobody wants to put up with an entitled 47 year old woman with 4 kids.

Also, did you notice how she talked about how much money she makes in her great career, but also how she implied that she “gave up” her savings when she went through divorce. Sounds like she needs a bailout. Form an orderly line for this $pecial prince$$ gentlemen.

47, 4 kids, still demands Chad. This is a new one! /s

Hard to swallow pills: men actually like independent woman, but you aren't actually as independent as you think you are.

(paraphrased the meme about nice guys being not really nice)

Same with generous.

Sacred and special :

Si Señora. But you are neither special, nor sacred. The more later you join my life, the less special, less sacred you are.

The more superior you think you are, the less actually superior you are, and you need to be avoided actively.

i think i am cute enough:

Sure, marry yourself.

financially successful, cooks for me

What does he get in exchange? An entitled dry prune?

I sent a video to my ex about another man

Bitxh wtf. Your relationship is not a dress rehearsal of secondary school where you play the ugly mistress trying to "Teach us" the word of someone else. That shows you hold that person above us - that is immediately a reason to terminate everything.

How in the name of everything holy and you hold dear - how do you come to the idea that telling your man about how other man is more compatible to you is going to inspire him to do anything? That is invading his space. you are quite literally the inside mole.

DONOT EVER DO THAT.

My kids are not the issue

True. you are, you are a single mom. Regardless of where your kids are now, you cant go back to being a virgin any more. You are just an empty cartridge, or better yet: like a german tank mine once the shear wire is broken.

For me its like this: You can't undo your history. You cant first go for one man, give him children, warm his bed, while I do my life alone, and then come back to me and expect me to be the next guy in line. I think for many other it will be similar.

Good catch

WHY? What makes you worthy?

I saw what makes you pricey. But what makes you worthy?

PS: I am looking for good studies in economics and econometrics about goods that are expensive, but are of marginal utility, such as interior decorations. So if anyone has some recommended reading, feel free to do this.

Good salary

Good. Can you pay me, so that I can go do what I want to do? e.g. invest more in synthetic wombs? If not - what benefit does it bring me.

That you have a prune-womb does not motivate me. You dont get to control my personal life and desires. Dont be a gold-rush coupon mafia (i.e. industrialists who gave their workers coupons to buy food - from the shops operated by the same industrialists during the mining boom in the western USA. I need to study this thing more as well )

All in all: For any I aM eStaBlIsHeD NOw woman lurking: Consider reading.