The unspoken truth about "lower my standards" is that it often boils down to looks alone. Yes, we cannot discount being physically attracted to someone as necessary factor for a relationship to work. But when you take a man who otherwise is able to check every box that a woman like this claims to want, and the only thing is is allegedly lacking is that looks factor, it shows that so many of those other factors are not quite as important as we are told to believe. We know this is often the case because so many women report their stories of how their relationships go bad because of some discovered trait that they do not like in a man. The only reason this discovery phase ever happened was because he was physically attractive enough for her to engage in the first place. Many men never get a chance to either show their virtues or reveal their flaws, as they were filtered out before there was ever a relationship.

Looks is often not only the first filter, but in many cases the only actual filter when it comes to even getting a relationship. Keeping a relationship is a different story, but you cannot keep what you were never able to have in the first place.

"jaded, divorced, damaged people that look like my Father yet demand and expect physical, financial and emotional perfection from women"

translation - I am a jaded (would be divorced but bailed on engagements twice) damaged person that is well on my way to looking like the aunts in The Simpsons. I don't want to put out, but want a 'daddy' to take care of me now (but can't be as old as that); he better have more money that me so that I can increase my lifestyle. I am an overly emotional pain in the ass that will add "excitement" only in all the wrong ways.

"accept the fact I have a son" - know they'll be a low priority and often have to include an extra body, expense, and opinion in on many plans. Eventually you'll have to take over much of the responsibility with none of the authority and little to no respect.

This woman is actually more perceptive than 95% of women. She doeant mention her age but says shes in her 40s.

There are a couple of lines that show flashes of perception, a tiny bit of rational thinking....

1. "Apparently the alpha men i want don't want women ilke me" (you got it sister!)

2. "I feel it will be me time for the rest of my life" (amen to that sister. You're going to have become one of those strong independent types.... those women that don't need a man. Whats that i hear? You need a man? Finances all fucked up? Too much debt? Cant mange on your own? Lonely? Well guess what..... no man needs you.)

One thing I have learned is if a women claims a relationship or marriage "turned abusive" is to take it with a grain of salt. Abuse can be something as simple as he got tired of her bs and told her to fix it, or started expecting her to be a wife and a mother and she wanted to be a party girl and act single. And lets say the abuse claims are real, then that means she either ignored red flags or has terrible choice in men, so that means she likely hasn't learned that lesson either. So even now she won't see decent men around her and on focus on the "bad boys". She doesn't mention much of her 20s because she likely spent most of it riding the carousel and partying it up, sleeping with a cornucopia amount of men.

But you can bet she has men around her that would love to date her but she is too busy chasing the next chad, tyrone, ray ray, or pookie thinking that this guy will be different from the other 500 she has slept with.

Someone get the world’s smallest violin. Another woman who apparently didn’t even demand good behavior from a man before cooking up a child for him, now mad because the men that she qualifies for, she doesn’t like.

Yup, physically fit, attractive, successful middle aged men don’t need to deal with a damaged older woman. They can go get a younger woman. Women like this qualify for the C team, because she’s the C team. No one of value in her age range is looking to be in a relationship with her.

What did she do between those easily-elided ages of 21 and 33, I wonder?

and expect physical, financial and emotional perfection from women.

Better call IMAX while you're at it. Miss "Wants her alpha man and won't lower her standards" could show a movie on an overcast sky with that kind of projection.

My highlight:

no "baby daddy" drama since I have sole legal and physical custody with NO CONTACT

99% chance she does not care either about the father NOR about her child. 1% chance he was actually abusive. Great, so I'll either deal with a woman that makes really bad decisions and marries an abuser OR she's proud of torturing her child by removing its father and even bragging about it.

Yeah, there's a reason you are single for 7 years...

Settle or stay single. Choice is yours

You should carefully select and strive for a man to marry in your fertile 20s, make sure he's a good and suitable man to rear a child with, have a kid with him, and stay married.

Looks like you skipped some steps there and now you're heading towards singlehood to the grave or settling for a man of far lower value in your 50s than you could settle for in your 40s

Choice has been yours since you first started dating and choice is still yours, just not the choices you want since the choices you chose ruined that for you

I guess I'll wait another 7 years and by that time, maybe I won't mind dating an AARP member

She still doesn't understand that her options will only get worse as she ages. Her 50 year-old self will be just as mad at her current choices, as she is now about her 20's/30's choices.

Its the same song over and over....i dont want to settle, but at the same time, i demand that men settle (for me).

The reason men need to fall down and worship her? Because she has a job and is able to wipe her own ass. Honestly... womens standards for their own behaviour are so low that if they behave in the least bit like a fully grown adult they think it's done sort of massive achievement.

What she really wants is a richer man to come along and pay for everything so she can stay acting like a child again.

It's so tiresome for women to be forced into behaving like an adult! Can anyone please step up and helo her out?

It's really quite simple: either lower your standards, which are absurd to begin with considering you are a 40 year-old baby momma, or die alone. There is no third option.

If I wanted to fuck a 45yr old with kids I would fuck my wife or else do it when my SMV was lowest in my early 20s. When my wife is in her 50s and I'm an AARP member, I'll be setting my age limit at 28 for women. Bitches like this won't even get me in my 60s, I'll never even see them. They had their chance in my 20s and blew it. No going back now.

One of my good friends just got out of a bad marriage. I helped him get into a new place to live and I'm staying with him while he gets back on his feet.

He's a meek man. He's autistic and really just wants to be a people pleaser. She took complete advantage of this and made his life miserable for years. She'd threaten to divorce, he'd agree, she'd freak out and say she'd want to save the marriage. Repeat. She was ALWAYS the one that wanted to save the marriage after she wanted to end it. He wanted out. His friends were all telling him to get out. But I'm pretty sure she'd remember that she couldn't afford to rent a decent place that allows pets on her own.

He was definitely the passive/submissive/yes dear in the relationship. But months after they split she started saying he was emotionally abusive and neglectful. This is a guy that was afraid to go into his own kitchen because his wife would yell at him and she was calling him abusive.

That was the absolute end of me believing any "abuse" without a police report. The word means nothing.

Sweatie, you need to learn to not demand better choices from the Universe but to start making better decisions.

"Apparently this is too much to ask for."

Yep. No decent man wants to look at your kid every day and think to himself, "So that's what they guy you fucked looks like."
Wall stings like a motherfucker, doesn't it? Not only did you fuck yourself over, but you fucked over your kid too.

Real talk, as we are not on reddit. So there's no need to self censor. (Not that I would have done that on reddit either