Flashback Posting
This is the third TRP Flashback posts. These posts will link older threads that once were on the TRP front page and have not been seen my many of our newer members. The purpose of this post is to showcase the previous thread, encourage users to read it, have the users read my commentary here, and then discuss in the comments section.
Men are Not Happy
It is important to reflect upon why we are here in the first place. Why do men bother to seek out TRP? If they have not deliberately sought it, and chanced upon it, why do they stay? What is it that makes the fellow who is bored to death, who spams /r/random in the hopes of finding something interesting, and finds TRP, end up reading and becoming a subscriber?
Archwinger eloquently and correctly answered all of these questions. Men are not happy.
The Red Pill is here because men aren’t happy. They don’t want to be sweet and sensitive and do things for women all day long and be the “perfect boyfriend,” while having subpar sex once every six weeks, paying out the ass for expensive dates and gifts, sacrificing personal time, and getting bitched at and threatened with a break-up if any of this perfect behavior ever dips slightly.
There three points to make here.
1)
/u/JP_Whoregan’s comment is telling. A minority of men use reddit and find TRP and follow it. The fact that the marriage rate is in decline means that in general, men know something is wrong. TRP sheds light as to what it is that makes people unhappy. When a man grew up in a single-mother household, and heard that his best friend went through a divorce, and has dated four or so women and haven’t really felt that any of them are wife material, he doesn’t need an explanation. He just knows that marriage isn’t for him. The point is, while it is good to read online to find out explanations for your observations, do not feel as if it is absolutely necessary. Feminists and women are campaigning against men currently, trying to convince us that we are wrong for having an opinion. That we are wrong for using our own brains to think and arrive at a conclusion they dislike. If you think of something, and you end up disagreeing with a feminist, you’re probably right.
2)
Just as /u/Archwinger explained why men aren’t happy, he also explained what can be done to be happy. This is very important to understand. Many of you have placed too much importance on women in your lives.
By all means, go ahead and have relationships with women. Whether that be having multiple plates, telling them explicitly that you are not-exclusive or not telling them, having a single relationship in which you are faithful or unfaithful, or forsaking women altogether, I believe it is imperative that men think long and hard about what it is they want and then they actively go out and pursue it. Of course, not everyone will agree with what it is you “should” do, but if there is one thing you “should” do, it’s that you should not place other people’s values and beliefs above your own.
3)
TRP has a lot to offer, in its posts, and in its members. GayLubeOil has skyped over 300 people to help them plan a fitness routine and get them to the gym. ProtoPill wrote an excellent post regarding networking and how men can better navigate the waters of the corporate world we live in. Archwinger and IllimitableMan consistently pen well-written essays going over theory.
Use this as a resource to improve your life. Instead of remaining unhappy, figure out what it is that you want, get help if you need it, and go out and achieve it.
In conclusion, if Archwinger’s post applies to you, if you are unhappy, the question now becomes, what are you going to do about it? Because I think enough is enough with hordes of men being unhappy. It’s time men start prioritizing what they want in life and achieving it. That is TRP, and it’s why men will finally be happy.
[deleted] 10y ago
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pisspoordecisions 10y ago
Fuck that's so true. I hate Jessica Chastain in every movie she's in because she's always cast as some strong powerful chick. Zero dark thirty completely ruined the story of finding Osama bin laden because of her character.
[deleted] 10y ago
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[deleted] 10y ago
I know my mother THOUGHT she was an "inipinant hwoomyn" but was your typical flighty, cock hungry idiot. From an extremely young age I saw the constant hypocrisy in her words vs actions. Women are forced into leadership roles as single mothers which is detrimental to the children they raise. The mental illness I suffered for a decade was nearly unbearable. Thankfully, I knew I could go on my own one 18, which then afforded me the luxury to spend the next ten years doing therapy and other methods to undo the damage.
It's unfortunate these fools, that are given no respect by anyone else due to the obvious immaturity and ignorance, are given free reign to download their poison onto the next generation.
EntitledShitHead 10y ago
Also the fact that the feminization of our culture is attributing less quality male role models. All of my male high school teacher and just about all my professors were feminine as fuck. FUCK feminism and the bitch mentality they have. The good thing about the pill is that people can find it if they are seeking the truth.
[deleted] 10y ago
My only favorite teacher from high school was the gym instructor. He was a former martial arts teacher and bouncer. Very cool guy.
reigorius 10y ago
I was wondering about that lately. I sometimes catch myself thinking that, but then again I had plenty of examples throughout my youth that healthy male role models:
Indiana Jones - Amused Mastery and frame
Sylvester Stallone as Rocky and Arnold Schwarzenegger (Lift)
I don't know where it was coming from, but being muscled meant being dumb. You compensated the lack of intelligence with muscles. If I thought about it like I do now, it only makes sense to do both. Noentheless I also should know from personal experiences. Where I grew up there was a kid who was into body building at an early age, say 14/15. He was ripped. I remember distinctively one day in summer, where we had a sports event from school. And this muscled boy was there. When he took of his shirt, literally every kid surrounded him and wanted to feel his muscles. He had a girlfriend, something I only dreamt of.
Or the rich kid at the schoolyard when I was 6 or 7 who had all the friends because he handed out his marbles like it was nothing to him. Not the best example, but still proved social status.
I would be fooling myself if I say I have been indoctrinated by a feminist society. It's simple not true seeing all the examples that proved what it takes to be masculine and successful. The truth lies in the middle and I choose the easy way, the, unfortunately, lazy way.
And my theory is that most blue guys know whats up, but can't force themselves to take the leap, to do the extra effort, to bleed a little for a greater goal that lies somewhere in the future. Instead, if I look at myself, I choose the path of gratification. The easy route.
vengefully_yours 10y ago
I still get the amazed looks from people who underestimated my intellect. They assume that if you have muscles that you have to be stupid. It was a constant battle in the military where I continously had to prove myself as being a fat dumbass. I'll explain something complex and technical to them in a way they can gap it, then something unrelated in the same way, then show them how you can use them both to do yet another thing. I get the same look every time, and they ask, "H do you know all this?" simple answer, I can read and science works.
[deleted] 10y ago
Yeah I saw those things too as a kid but I was told that people should love me for being me. I didn't need to build muscle or have money. Just trust in good old jesus and be a good person and everything would work out fine...
So all those other people were just overcompensating. Real love and happiness didn't require muscle or money... So I always blew of those guys as being fake.
Primemale 10y ago
A friend of mine of who works in a popular bar relayed a ''training'' video to me that he and all other staff had to watch recently. Bare in mind that the majority of people that work in this bar are FEMALE. anyway the video basically depicts a creepy guy wondering around hunting for women that are drunk and trying to ''rape'' them. Essentially they are being taught to look out for this behaviour. Of course most of us know that sort behaviour is so RARE that making it a compulsory viewing in an entire industry is utterly absurd, and even if it was completely accurate that there were several dudes around constantly doing this, they still fail to mention the need for women to take ANY RESPONSIBILITY with how much alcohol they consume.
[deleted] 10y ago
She should have had more sense than to get so drunk and wander through the inner city at 3am. 'That is victim shaming ' If she had an ounce of common sense, she wouldn't be a fucking victim!
dr_warlock 10y ago
Feminism and other blue pill ideologies are just a secular religion. Like every other religion, it's meant to keep you in check when your rulers aren't around to supervize. You police yourselves. And you'll attend
academia & mediachurch regularly to maintain that conditioning.-
If the church doesnt quench your thirst for purpose, it means the partriarchy, social constructs, and the priviledged have strayed you from the righteous path of femenism, equality, gay rights, and multiculturalism.
-
If you don't believe women are oppressed and raped constantly or assume they are wonderful by default, you are sexist. If you dont fight for gay rights, you are a homophobe. If you mention blacks in crime, you are racist. If you don't greet a horde of muslims with open arms, you're an islamaphobe.
-
If you, work horse, aspire to rise above your station, you will be shamed for your envy of priveledge. You shall be brought down to equality. If you investigate that splinter in your mind or dont submit to the male led gynocracy, you are a heretic and you shall be given: ritalin, several doses of shaming, sexual harassment and consent seminars, grade reductions, job dismissal and stagnation, sensitivity training, and a visit from the police or a hearing with your family court judge.
ManOfGrapes 10y ago
This about sums up the message(s) of the echo chambers in the feminist subreddits, mass-media articles and movies we see today. Thanks for putting into words what I haven't been able to.
awalt_cupcake 10y ago
Secular religion:
Mind = blown
JP_Whoregan 10y ago
Imma fail to check my white male privilege to ask where the hell have you been lately, mate?
dr_warlock 10y ago
I'm active in the comments, but not posts intentionally. My computer needs to be fixed before I can start my blog. I dont want to post until then. In the mean time, working on a book about the pussy cartel.
[deleted]
[deleted] 10y ago
Another major reason men find their way here is because they have come out the other side. We followed the blue pill lie, we got married, had kids, were good providers then.... Bang, hypergamy kicks in. She gets "unfulfilled", she is "missing something", she feels "neglected". Of course she never just says "I want Chad to rail me".
Next thing you know you are the bad guy, turns out it wasn't her but it was you! She now tells her friends and family that "things" were bad for a long time. That you "abused" her. Abuse is their favourite word, they keep expanding it's meaning, now abuse includes, verbal, physical (even if imaginary), economic, emotional, passive, psychological etc etc. Watch this space, the definition will continue to expand.
Any feeling she chooses to retroactively insert into her memories becomes your fault. All of your good traits, all of your accomplishments, your history and your personality are now forgotten so that she can blame you for her actions. You become a caricature, a shadowy negative of your true self. A walking excuse for all of her evil.
She will then threaten you. She has Chad Thundergovernment on her side. She will take more than half of everything she says, the kids will of course live with her and her new boyfriend. Don't worry he will be a great influence on them she says. You just need to help pay for everything, he will take care of the rest.
Then you stumble onto TRP. Turns out that there are people who know why this has happened to you. All of her weaknesses are listed. It makes perfect sense all of the sudden. You were not to blame at all, all along it was her. No you can't get into a time machine but you can make sure you never marry again.
Now you go to the gym and look and feel better. You can act cocky and sleep with girls first date instead of paying for five dates just to be told you LJBF. You are now sleeping with women you previously thought were out of your league, and you do it often and without expensive dates. You follow the rules you find in here for managing your bitches and all of the sudden your women problems are over forever.
[deleted] 10y ago
Great point regarding the moving goalposts of "abuse". I get the feeling that it's becoming one of those things that people just say because it's easier than actually explaining what's really going on.
redpillschool Admin 10y ago
You're more right than you know. This retcon is something anybody who has been through a ltr is likely familiar with. The abuse line, the fact that it's been a pattern. Also familiar is the "I never loved you" bit. In her mind, her current feelings define reality. If she feels this way now, she must not have ever loved you.
aherne18 10y ago
Probably she never did and lied all along!
juliusstreicher 10y ago
What do you expect when she felt pressured into it???
JP_Whoregan 10y ago
Check out the post stickied right now in /r/askTRP, from waaaaay back in the day from /u/SoftHarem, "She Doesn't Love You". It will answer many, many questions. Women don't love you; they love the way you make them feel; this is why if another man comes along and makes her feel better, she has no problem ditching you and obeying her hindbrain's hypergamy; none of your past loyalty will matter, none of your past devotions will matter; "loyalty" is a masculine construct, not a feminine one.
aherne18 10y ago
This is over and over argued here and current reality LOOKS LIKE supporting it. However, in societies where loyalty is greatly valued, women try their best to be loyal: women are weak and will fuck/obey anything that has power over them. If we topple those that spoiled their brains, you would be surprised how loyal they would become!
In late 1940s Romanian freedom fighters against communism had to retreat into mountains and fight guerilla warfare. Despite beatings, torture, rape, shaming most of their wives endured massive hardships and stood by their husbands (which meant martyrdom in many cases).
How many of us would do the same today?
ErasmusOrgasmus 10y ago
Abandon this mindset. Regardless of the shitty behaviour your woman exhibited, you must acknowledge that when your relationship turns to shit it is your fault. Why? Because you are the captain of the ship, the CEO, the expedition leader. Anything that goes wrong can be traced back to you because you are the responsible party. It doesn't matter that you have evidence that your employees have become unproductive, if your company under performs the shareholders will hold you responsible. The buck stops with you because you are in charge.
Whatever she does it can always be traced back to something you did or did not do. And besides, it is in your best interests to accept this mentality of reflecting inwards to take responsibility yourself. It is the only way your future relationships will improve because blaming your girl is pointless. It will not inspire her or you to change for the better, only you can bring about such change.
Patrice O'Neal is great on this topic so if you want to understand more about this idea, I'd highly recommend The Black Phillip Show. Happy hunting.
[deleted] 10y ago
You are technically correct. I made two mistakes, one I picked a girl with one too many red flags. My second mistake was getting married. However in Australia it would not have mattered if I did not marry her. It is deemed a common law marriage after two years of domestic cohabitation.
I always wanted kids. I have two kids and I have primary custody (not a normal result, I am a lawyer so knew how to win). So an LTR was my only option. We were together for 20 great years. I caught her flirting online (she had not physically met the guy) so I kicked her ass out of the house and fucked another girl that week.
Yes Patrice (RIP) and you are right. In some way it is always our fault. To think like this is important but you also have to remember there is no such thing as a unicorn. Therefore no LTR can last the distance and be fulfilling. At a certain point we are powerless. You cant build/ manage/ force or engineer perfection because it does not exist. So for my part I accept my error, but it was the only way to have kids, and I do not regret that at all. In fact if I had another life to live I would do it all again, but I would not be exclusive.
ErasmusOrgasmus 10y ago
This why many, including myself, are against cohabitation as well as marriage unfortunately. Again I'll probably follow Patrice's lead - she can stay over sometimes but she needs her own place and she needs to understand that she does not live with me.
I get what you're saying. Similar to the cohabitation thing, this is just another way they try to trap us, by making an LTR necessary for having kids. When I want kids I think I'll be looking at less conventional routes like surrogacy.
Good on you for nexting that how for disrespect. You gave her the gift of consequences and maintained your own dignity. This is what I'm talking about.
Correct but if you accept there are no unicorns then you really shouldn't be too bothered about whether your LTR lasts forever or not. You know there were girls before her and there will be girls after her. Only thoroughly Blue Pill guys would sacrifice their own happiness to make their relationship last forever.
It may have seemed like the only way at the time but you could have had kids with a LTR sans marriage or looked at less conventional routes that don't involve surrendering your freedom to a woman just because you want kids. I appreciate there aren't many simple solutions for RP guys who want kids but I think getting married just for that reason is a lifesize loss of frame.
catacamas 10y ago
I get what you're saying, but I strongly disagree with this. My wife was abusive to me for years, and one of the reasons I put up with it so long is I had this silly belief that somehow it was my fault, my failing, because I had read comments like yours and believed them, that somehow I needed to do better, that I was failing to 'lead' correctly, that every time she did something wrong, it was somehow my failing as a man. Wrong! All this only made me feel worse - more trapped, more depressed, more like a failure. When I finally started to wake up and realize that I had done nothing wrong, that there was nothing wrong with me, that it wasn't my failing, but hers, that I had done everything right - I kicked her out the house. It wasn't that I 'put up' with her behavior, on the contrary, but she just couldn't help herself, that's her, she grew up in a dysfunctional household, and is dysfunctional. Guys, sometimes a bitch is just a bitch, and sometimes it isn't your failing. The buck doesn't 'stop with men' only - this perpetuates the idea that women are like feral children, and if you believe that, you will end up with a feral child for a wife or girlfriend. No, part of taking charge is holding others responsible for their actions when they have done wrong.
When I finally kicked her out the house for years of maltreatment, you know what she did, she actually apologized for everything, and told me I deserved better. But ending my marriage was never what I wanted.
I get that if a man is behaving like a 'nice guy' and allowing a woman to walk over him and so on, then yes, he needs to change certain things, and try to lead and be in charge as much as possible. Sure.
But sometimes a bitch is just a bitch. And it's time to kick women like that to the street, not keep supporting them under some idea that if she's behaving like that it's the man's fault and responsibility.
In hindsight, I've had numerous long-term relationships, and basically only one I was treated like this. I was treated much better by the women I went out with even back when I was a much more pathetic 'nice guy' than I am now (and had better sex back then too, more often). So no, it wasn't my fault.
ErasmusOrgasmus 10y ago
Here's why it was your fault:
You should have kicked that bitch out sooner. You even said in your post that as soon as you kicked her out she apologised! Women are abusive but only if you allow them to be. Christ, read your first paragraph again. You were 'trapped' and 'depressed' by a fucking woman, a creature that is physically and mentally weaker than you? You were a little bitch and not a man, that's why it was your fault.
You facilitated her being a tremendous cunt by allowing it. You are supposed to be in charge but you weren't. You didn't set any boundaries or enforce any consequences to her actions at all. You didn't lead the cruiseliner that is your relationship anywhere except straight into the colossal iceberg that is your wife's cuntishness.
It was your fault.
catacamas 10y ago
You're absolutely right I should have kicked her out sooner. BUT, in my situation, I could only actually know this now in hindsight ... these types of situations become a lot more complex when you are married and have kids together. I wasn't trapped 'by a woman' - but by the SITUATION. It's a long story, I'm not even sure I could make you understand, there are so many different facets to such a decision, I think you really need to have been in such a situation to really understand it. If you've never had kids, life is a million times simpler. I know it seems simple to you, but it's not.
No, it wasn't. It absolutely wasn't. Nothing in the situation was my fault.
catacamas 10y ago
A bit more info:
Firstly a correction to the above, physical abuse didn't go on 'for years', but only one year - last year, while she was pregnant. There may have been pregnancy hormones at play, and she had developed a thyroid issue that had 'increased aggression' as a symptom. So part of me wanted to see if it would end after the pregnancy, and also she started taking medication for the thyroid issue.
The relationship wasn't always bad - when I met her she seemed sweet and loving, and the sex was good for the first few years.
Last year, she was pregnant. I wasn't about to kick a pregnant woman out the house, and this wasn't for her either: It was because I wanted a chance of having a relationship with my own new child (if it weren't for this, it would have been much easier). YOU SEE, and this is something you have probably never given a moment's thought in your life (I sure hadn't before I ended up in the situation), but when a woman is still breastfeeding, THERE IS NO SHARED CUSTODY - IT'S AUTOMATIC 100% CUSTODY TO THE MOTHER for the first few years (for biological reasons). My alternatives I faced were kicking her out and facing not being there to raise and develop a relationship with my own second child (and possibly worse - e.g. if she ends up with full custody I MIGHT NEVER KNOW MY 2ND CHILD AT ALL) Apologies for shouting, but if you ever become a parent you'll start to understand how far a dad is willing to go to at least have a relationship with his own children. In fact, I had to come to accept, and indeed HAD to give up, being there for the first few years of my child's life ... this is such a great loss to me, I hope for your sake you never have to be in that situation, you come across really arrogant, chiding me, when you don't even have a fucking clue ... I HAD TO give up being there for the first years of my child's life to 'kick her out' - I doubt you can begin to comprehend what's involved emotionally in a decision like that. So fuck you.
As of about two years ago, there were a few signs (again long story) that if we were to part, it could become a huge full-blown ugly custody battle (not from her but her inlaws were pushing it along with all sorts of other BS, again long story). I am not of unlimited financial means, and as I own a business, I looked at the numbers, did the math, and a full-blown custody would likely have ruined me financially and meant the loss of my business. (Actually, when we eventually did split, my fears did start to materialize, the in-laws did in fact start pushing for a huge ugly battle, and I had to take active steps to 'quash it before it started' ... so far it seems like my steps have worked ... again, long story.)
You see, when you're facing kicking out a pregnant woman, you are going to have to financially support TWO HOUSEHOLDS for some time - along with all the costs involved with raising and caring for children. I am supporting her now - paying her rent - even though I don't like to do it. You'll probably say I'm being a sap, but it's because you don't understand the situation at all - you know why I do it? For her? No, for the kids - because the well-being of MY children DEPENDS on whether or not she is looked after. If she goes into financial ruin now, she'll become desperate and will hook up with the first scumbag who comes her way (and whoever she chooses is de facto the next father of my children - so it's in MY interests that she be looked after well enough to ensure she applies some standards in choosing someone new). Secondly, even any stress in her life gets transferred to the children - if she's not basically coping, she won't be able to parent well, she'll unload that stress onto the kids. So even though this woman sometimes used to beat me, I need to ensure that she is basically taken care of. Yes, it's crazy. But yes, when you're a dad, you do that FOR YOUR KIDS, not for her, but because you don't want your kids growing up to be depressed dysfunctional junkies, you want them well looked after. You'd do the same, I guarantee it.
Through luck really, my business secured a few good new deals last year, and it's actually only because of that that I am now able to financially afford to split, given the above circumstances. Many men aren't fortunate enough to be able to afford that.
I know the world seems very simple to people who don't have kids etc. Yes, I too was arrogant back when my life was more 'carefree'.
My advice to younger men: Don't get married (unless you REALLY luck out with some awesome woman - rare) in the first place, and don't have kids. In the modern context, marriage offers nothing to a man, as far as I can tell. It's a lure, a false promise, a mirage. (I really did want kids though; it's not as simple as saying don't have kids.)
She did cheat on me (in 2014), but I only discovered that just after she got pregnant the 2nd time ... so, excited about the pregnancy, we had a go at trying to 'make it work' etc, with mixed results. That reminds me, I still need to do paternity tests. (I do think the baby's 'probably' mine as we did have a lot of sex (and it does look like me), even though it was mostly not great sex, but I don't know for sure.)
So anyway, I was literally stuck between a rock and a hard place. My two options were 'stay in a bad marriage', or 'possible financial ruin + possibly losing my own children' on the other hand. There are many men out there stuck in similar situations. They really are trapped, I know, I lived it. That's why many of these men commit suicide.
Game and TRP may be good, and correct, and worthwhile, and helpful, but they cannot solve every and any relationship problem. And in cases of domestic assault the law and the whole 'system' tends to be stacked against men - there are many cases where men e.g. try report domestic assault and they get treated as the perpetrator - you can't hit a woman back, and they know it - the whole world is brainwashed with a kind of 'women are sweet and innocent, men are violent dogs' myth (even though stats show otherwise, the feminist-dominated media suppress this info), every dumb and desperate white knight wants to rush to the defense of any perceived damsel in distress ... women largely have the entire force of law taking a default view 'on their side' when it comes to domestic assault and even a single false accusation can ruin a man, especially if you run a business. It's so easy to talk tough when you're not in the situation - "oh I wouldn't put up with that, bla bla". But the reality is in most situations a man's hands are tied by the whole system. This becomes clearer, again, when you're living it. Did I try put in place consequences? Sure, to the limited degree that the system allows. Which is to say, not much - I don't care how alpha someone thinks they are, the entire force of the government's legal system is 'far more alpha' than anyone on this board, so hitting back is not an option. It's also a bit complex when the person who assaulted you is raising your kids ... I still need to keep on 'friendly terms' with her for the next 20 years. I can't even go round telling people what happened. And I'm trying to navigate through this ugly situation with the least harm to my children. And I'm guessing there's more trouble coming still; my kids will nee
[deleted] 10y ago
Dude, it is your fault, just like it was may fault. Our error was getting married and that is a big problem to fix. My marriage was very different to yours, a great 20 years, 2 kids, success in business. Then I found out she had flirted with some guy online. Not met, never seen but flirted. That was enough for me, I kicked her ass out of the house. It was her first act of disloyalty in 20 years so I immediately kicked her out and I was balls deep in three other girls within weeks.
Your woman is an abomination. She has abused you mentally and physically, cheated and probably cucked you and you stay with that pig?
Now that is fine so long as you just stick around for the kids and fake it. So long as you are at the gym, fucking other women, squirelling money away etc. What is not OK is to be loyal or loving to that fucking worthless pig you are married to. I sincerely hope you are getting laid on the side or you should hand in your penis.
ErasmusOrgasmus 10y ago
You've just written like a billion words to try and prove to me that this catastrophe of a relationship wasn't your fault. It smells of the desperation of the rationalisation hamster. You really want me to tell you it wasn't your fault because she was pregnant and you love your kids but you're still not getting it. It can always be traced back to you:
Marrying her was a mistake. And it was your decision. All the subsequent bullshit about not being able to leave when you wanted because divorce is expensive and this and that stem from this terrible decision. Your fault.
She was pregnant but guess whose mistake it was knocking up this piece of human garbage in the first place? Yes, you. You chose a horrible woman to father your children and you had to face the consequences. Your fault.
You're also trying to rationalise why I'm wrong because you presume I'm not married and I don't have kids therefore I couldn't possibly understand. But you still fundamentally ignore the essence of personal responsibility: you made the decisions to marry and procreate with a cunt. Any and all subsequent shit which occurs as a consequence of these decisions is on you because you chose to go down those paths. So you can forget about blaming your wife's pregnancy or your financial situation or the legal system because it was you who put yourself in the position where you were able to be 'trapped' by these things. You jumped off a three storey building and now you're complaining that your legs are broken, your medical bills are expensive, and you can't work. But you're forgetting that YOU are the dumb fuck who jumped off the building.
catacamas 10y ago
She wasn't behaving like any of this at all when I married her - was I supposed to have a crystal ball? Things were great when we got married.
You are partially right in that I did let her treat me poorly for too long - and that stems from self-worth issues - and that is something I must deal with. But that's just one part of a much more complex situation than you seem capable of comprehending - you really are honestly a clueless and arrogant child, you think you know it all and have all the answers but you don't have a clue how the world works in grownup-land. TRP is not a religion, you're treating it like a damn Bible, as if it holds a simple answer to any problem in life.
And your entire thesis makes no sense - that you are completely responsible for the actions of other adult human beings. It's absurd and makes no fucking sense.
And you didn't even my read damn comment properly. Read the comment next time before responding. Really, you're a piece of shit too, honestly, just buzz off. Call me when you've had to give up the first years of your child's life ... really you're a dolt.
waldo888 10y ago
It's your fault for believing her bullshit. But part of redpill is abundance and recognizing that in most cases no amount of training, proper alpha/beta characteristics will help. Inevitably she will screw around and leave, in the modern dating landscape there is no point for her to turn down any opportunity of higher value. So its your fault for believing her bullshit, its your fault for not demanding proper respect, and its your fault for not nexting when you aren't getting the respect you deserve and it your fault for believing her when she begins the shit storm of blaming you for everything to remove any form of guilt or responsibility for being a fraud and/or hurting you. But you are not fully to blame for the collapse of the relationship, it is mostly inevitable, and she should be blamed for being a liar or a player. Its how you learn.
Profdiddy 10y ago
Don't know why you're getting down voted, we should all know this. Men are ultimately responsible for steering the ship in a relationship.
ErasmusOrgasmus 10y ago
Because she cheated on me, it wasn't my fault, all girls are evil waaah waaaah.
Guys need to understand that even if it isn't your fault, actually it is. If a dog bites someone in the park you don't really blame the dog because it doesn't know any better; you blame the owner because he has failed to train his dog correctly.
Your relationship is what you make it because you lead it and mould it by moulding and training your girl(s). You need punish bad behaviour, reward good behaviour and set firm boundaries implicitly by making sure your frame is rock solid. And if you can't train her the way you want then either your SMV isn't high enough for her, you're useless at training her or she's a no-hoper.
But I always return to Patrice on this matter: "It's your fault."
[deleted] 10y ago
theres always a point, if you go back far enough, where you made a decision in these things.
even if it was to keep a girl you should have nexted, it's always on you. Hence the rule: no one gives a shit about you except mom.
and thats not a bad thing, it's a freeing thing. you look out for you, because no one else will. that measure of control isn't handed out to women, and most men aren't aware of it in their quiet lives of desperation.
catacamas 10y ago
Life isn't always that simple; in my case I stuck around for too long trying to 'make it work' because I had two kids with her. Divorce is expensive and painful .. I did the math and literally couldn't afford to divorce in the beginning.
ErasmusOrgasmus 10y ago
Excuses excuses.
You married a bitch - your fault. You made a decision not to kick her out, not to show her that her poor behaviour has consequences - your fault. That's your role as a man and you failed to perform. Take responsibility for your own life and accept that it was your fault.
exit_sandman 10y ago
The funny thing is: women (or at least the somewhat lucid subset of them) know how to make men happy.
Think of all the cautionary tales where a guy got roped in by a woman who wouldn't have had much of a shot with him otherwise (usually it's a single mom, but it can also be a late term dater with last minute panic or something similar). These stories generally start out by the woman pulling every trick in the book to make the guy feel awesome so he overlooks her other, quite obvious shortcomings - but once she has locked him down and he can't bail without bleeding for it anymore, that preferential treatment dies down and her attitude changes towards the bitchy and demanding.
The usual takeaway from these stories is stuff like "don't date an XYZ" or whatever, but for me it shows something else on top of this: women know how to make men happy, but as long as they don't think they have to, they just decide not to.
catacamas 10y ago
Yup. My wife and I had a great relationship with passionate sex, then one day soon before our first was born she made an ominous-sounding "joke" that there 'won't be much sex once the baby comes'. I wasn't amused, and though she insisted it was a joke, it soon became my nightmare and reality for the last several years. She seemed to almost genuinely expect that I was supposed to be this 'nice guy' who should just accept a marriage without decent sex, and in hindsight seemed almost surprised I didn't just accept it like a nice little beta. So we had sex regularly, to be sure, but it was bad sex.
But the fact she could even make a 'joke' like that seems telling to me - you can't make a joke like that if something like that isn't already in your thought processes.
RedSugarPill 10y ago
You are right, but I fucking hate this trope and here's why:
Why would a woman want to be unhappy? She has made a choice in this case to reveal her ugly sourpuss face after tricking her man into committing. What gives?
Let me put it another way. Let's say I am a person (gender doesn't matter), who can make a choice each and every second, that is: to be cheerful or grumpy. Given the fact that we have a choice to either be happy or unhappy, wouldn't we naturally choose happiness--at least on average over time? Yes, I know circumstances make us unhappy, but there seems to be an obsession with focusing on negativity which produces a feedback loop that causes a spiral into guaranteed mutual destruction. The very idea makes me want to fucking slap those bitches.
Here is my theory: The bitch is unhappy with her choice in the first place, but it's the "best she can do". So, since misery loves company, the cunt thinks: "Here's a perfectly happy and marginally successful guy... I'm not attracted to him, but he's the best I can do, so here's to sucking and faking a few orgasms..." Then after the lock-down, the bitch has the audacity to resent him because she "sucked his dick against her will" and "that's what he gets for being such a jerk".
FUCK.
catacamas 10y ago
You're assuming two things. First, you're using logic; most women don't. Second, your reasoning, though sound, presupposes a level of self-awareness that many women either don't have or don't bother to exercise. My ex would never make such an analysis, nor (for the most part) did she even have enough insight into her own thought processes to do so ... she mostly behaved out of ingrained behaviors in her personality and from her upbringing and childhood etc., e.g. mirroring behaviors of how her mom used to treat her dad or just mirroring her own mom's behavior etc., or just reacting emotionally to her own stress etc.
[deleted] 10y ago
no one wants to be unhappy. people are just horrible at knowing what makes them happy. people who have a hard time thinking long term are especially bad at it, equating hedonism with happiness, and they aren't the same thing
[deleted] 10y ago
They like drama. Continual bliss is boring
exit_sandman 10y ago
She wants to be less unhappy than she would be when she had to take care of her kid by herself while being constantly reminded (either by being rejected from the onset or by being dumped after sex) that she isn't relationship material anymore.
RedSugarPill 10y ago
But she IS relationship material. The guy is right fucking there, providing for her and her bastard child. Working in the fucking coal mines, and being faithful. He's just doesn't get her off the same way she got off that one semester studying abroad in Venezuela.
Edit: Earlier this month, my 35 year old cousin called me up to complain because her husband "just isn't a man". The guy trained to be a Navy seal, and now he's got a job as an intern in a huge government agency while he gets his degree. And it's not his kid, but he married the used up scumbag, and he works his ass off for Chad's kid (Chad went to debtor's prison, for not paying alimony, by the way).
All this, but my cousin's husband "is not a man".
exit_sandman 10y ago
Not for the guys she wants to be relationship material for.
RedSugarPill 10y ago
Yep, and that's the story. The relationship literally begins with a consciously chosen lie.
adam-l Senior Endorsed 10y ago
Whether you achieve happiness or not, first guard yourself against defeat: Don't get married, don't have children.
unicorn-carousel 10y ago
From the original article:
Boom. It felt right at the time, it's been lived for years now, and the ladies have materialized.
[deleted] 10y ago
[deleted]
unicorn-carousel 10y ago
Fuck sitting at home working on a tech talk while the neighborhood is buzzing, fresh hair cut, ball team won, after a day full of good interactions. Uncomfortable. But how many of your peers can get in-front of 100s of colleagues and tell them how they'll be building systems in 5 years and get a dozen interview requests per week?
Those large bursts of value amount to much larger returns than 3 nights out at the bars. One dedicated follower bringing others to you is invaluable. I see it as a pattern of small allowances between large investments, as you say. How can I be a freak on Saturday if I can't have lunch with whoever I am a Freak with on Wednesday and still be in good company?
I fucking love pussy, weed, and going wild. Gotta bring home the paper to support an abundant life somehow.
[deleted] 10y ago
[--removed--]
HappyScribe 10y ago
“Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men."
-JFK
[deleted] 10y ago
That's my favorite RP post of all time. It really belongs on the sidebar.
dr_warlock 10y ago
"Men Are Not Happy" ==> sidebar.
Overkillengine 10y ago
Another "vote" (not that it matters) for this to be sidebarred; as it presents two inarguable points that shoots major holes in the Approved Narrative.
1) Men aren't happy, otherwise they'd not be here. What they've been taught to do until now is NOT working out. (pun intended)
2) Feminism is not the sexual/economic/social utopia it presents itself to be, otherwise men would not be here. Instead of equality, they find themselves consistently with the short end of the stick.
Men come here because they realize at least at a subconscious level they are getting a raw deal from a modern society that does not enforce accountability from women, while still expecting men to pick up the tab. They realize at some level that they are being lied to, and used. This is one of the few places where they can get the information they need to actualize and get a better deal; information they would be hounded unto death for seeking elsewhere.
How they use that information is still up to them however; be it managing their sexual interactions for mutual productivity or for slash and burn gain.
LaRedPill 10y ago
Translated to Spanish for your spanish only friends (you can help by marking me errors or paragraphs where I could improve it)
JP_Whoregan 10y ago
This post reminds me of a thread I wanted to make: "Dating Site Profiles: What She Says And What She Means".
[deleted] 10y ago
When you look at sites like Thought Catalog or Slate or HuffPo or other mainstream places where gender relations, marriage, divorce, and other similar things are discussed, there's a definite Red Pill bent among the male commentariat. I suppose it's possible that TRP members and/or manospherians are taking lots of time to comment there, but I doubt it. A lot of those comment sections read like Purple Pill Debate, with men talking RP and women talking BP. It's remarkable.
You often see the concepts of "marriage is a bad deal for men" and AFBB discussed (though AFBB isn't called as such, it's more like "yeah she fucks hot dudes until she's 30 then settles for the guy with a job and a minivan"). They also talk frequently about the one-sided unfairnesses of feminism, lack of job opportunities, etc. So men are waking up to this stuff.
RedPharaohRising 10y ago
This Is likely my favorite post of all time.
When I got here, top post was on black knighting a school girl. Somewhere a few after that was this.
Read this and it made so much sense I never looked back.
Aerobus 10y ago
That post is coming up.
FarfromaHero40 10y ago
Sees feminist at party (gym? No, I lie, haha) Walk up and deliver something along the lines of: "Hello, my name is FarfromaHero40, but you can call me Patricharcy for the evening; been ruling great apes since before Australopithicus. This is space is not safe, sexual dimorphism has made it so we aren't equal, and yes, I am the bad guy in every movie you've seen."
[deleted] 10y ago
I'n enjoying these thoroughly