The purpose of this post is to educate, entertain and inform. Hopefully you can use some of it in your theory craft.
History: https://www.forums.red/p/theredpill/318172/field_report_on_that_neverending_line_of_fresh_rando_cock https://www.forums.red/p/theredpill/318216/field_report_on_my_wife_s_cock_carousel https://www.forums.red/p/theredpill/318336/field_report_on_my_wife_s_adventures_new_love
I was together with my wife for 27 years since she was 16 and I was 19. (married 25y). We have 6 children together 3-18. This all deteriorated over the last 7 months.
Yesterday my wife moved into her new trailer with her new boyfriend.
About a week ago she had been "all-in" with commitment to her beau. He was a "perfect" soul... The kindred spirit of her dead grandmother... unparalleled in kindness and devotion. This much younger man with arrested development lived with his parents before moving in to her trailer, He's a drunk stoner and a train-wreck of a human being. He is super-needy and devoted, has mommy issues, and desperately wants to be cared for and loved because no one has ever loved him.
Somewhere during the week she realized that super-needy people are full of rage and get easily butt-hurt, when he pulled a bunch of crazy shit and acted like an asshole. She also confessed that she has absolutely no desire to fuck him. Apparently they only smashed the one time that he rented a hotel room, and it was train wreck.. and his dick doesn't work. I am afraid this will not be the guy that takes her off of my hands.
Just to give an overview, I have smashed the that whore approximately 15 times since they have been exclusively together with promises(14 days). She has collected 3 new orbiters to give her attention while he is at work digging ditches for his dad. Last night, their first night in the trailer, she went into full cockblock mode and sent all the older kids and their friends into the trailer, and then came to hang out with me in the house (for 3 hours), where she strategized how to get out of him trying to have sex with her, because her period was finally gone after two weeks (her new birth control is fucking with it). She resolved to get super drunk and pretend to pass out. I let her know that if she just pegged him a little bit, she could probably get his dick to work. (Just FYI, this girl smashes on her period... in cars... at the park... etc. but she has all these rules for this guy where they can't do it any of these places, and she wont go to his house because she doesn't want to meet his parents, do it in the car like a whore, etc.) Now that they are finally moved in she has no excuses so the pressure is on and she is going full cockblock anyway she can.
She came in this morning, drunk at 11am, took a shower, put in her tampon in front of me and threw herself on my bed naked. Her period came back again, and she was grateful because it may give her a few days of reprieve. She asked if I wanted to fuck her anyway. I told her I only smash whores. She responded "I'm a whore." After a quick smash, she decided she was just going to pretend to still be on her period even when it stops, and tell him she needs uterine surgery. I told her she was still going to have to fuck him eventually, but she's decided that she can live with him and somehow get out of it.
I tried for a while to get her to give herself a few weeks in the trailer alone before he moved in. She could have him over, get used to her own space, etc. She decided to have him move in anyway the day it arrived, and after the first night has decided it was a colossal mistake. She is now basically abusing him to see how much he will take before he moves out. She is making him pay for everything, putting him to work in the field digging the new leech lines for the septic and giving him endless amounts of shit to see how much he will put up with before he finally leaves.
Now that all the pretending is gone, and my wife has completely exposed herself for who she really is, I feel like my understanding of women and what they want is far less than what I thought. But a warning to every guy out there... if a girl isn't finding ways to jump your bones, then it is because she doesn't want to. It doesn't matter what she says... how much she likes you, or how much she enjoys being around you. Wifey really... really... likes platonically hanging out with this guy. He's young, good looking and satisfies the a certain itch, but not the one between her legs. Mostly I think she gets off on the fact that he reminds her of all the boys in high school that she liked who ignored her, and he's completely obsessed with her.
@goodmansaysfuckyou made these observations in a post:
If she is constantly bitching, moaning, and complaining to you, then you are her emotional tampon. If she is wanting to go out to dinner, movies, walk in the park, or other courting rituals that occasionally leads to sex, then you are her 'boyfriend' or sugar daddy. If she is constantly wanting sex and spends most of the time talking about how great the last time was or she can't wait to get some more, then you are the bull.
So apparently I was the bull husband, to a whore that lives entirely for constant attention and devotion from orbiters. Everytime we talk she mentions my dick, that I am good at the sex, that she needs to be fucked, etc. She also goes on and one about how I am the only one that ever made her come, and she's never come for anyone else, like that was a special prize.
Her new boyfriend is functionally an orbiter. She has another new orbiter. He is 70 years old and wants to fuck her, but she thinks he realizes it could never work between them. He is her new best friend. He calls and texts her multiple times a day. The guy is bald, 5'2", and a hundred pounds, but he smooth as fuck and has game to spare. The guy has so much game, I'd almost fuck him. (He's that fucking smooth.) In addition, she has two other orbiters that text her everyday and want to fuck her, both of whom conveniently live at a distance, so she can flirt with impunity and never have to put out.
I really don't understand women or hypergamy anymore. None of this is computing for me. The level of attention and validation my ex needs is not possible for a single human male to provide, even if he has no job or life of his own. Is this some kind of mental illness, or is this the new normal for girls?
gio00 1y ago
Wow It's very cool.
wswZtyqNGQ 1y ago
Why would she need only one man to provide her attention? She can push a button and get infinitely more to show up.
¿Por Qué No Los Dos?
hannulv 1y ago
Sure. But hypergamy theory had me convinced that girls were looking for the best guy they could get and would tune out the rest once they found him. It doesnt feel like that is particularly true anymore.
wswZtyqNGQ 1y ago
Rollo said it best (paraphrasing): Women have three needs: sex, attention, and resources. They want one man to provide all three but are willing, thanks to technology, to settle with three men to provide one need each.
This really isn't rocket science. Modern women don't need a man. And they only want a man for a specific task at a specific time. Everything they say and do shows this.
hannulv 1y ago
It is still weird to me... because I really brought all three. I'm still doing sex and resources. But the level attention I gave her was as much as a man who works full-time can. It was actually pretty detrimental to myself. I feel incredibly free, no longer being obligated to fill this black hole of attention. I can actually have a life to a certain degree now.
To me the puzzle is about resources. Getting a man to take her off my hands is the goal... but if she's never going to try to find this shit in a single person, then my task gets way more difficult.
Initial-Glove 1y ago
Sometimes its a quantity thing. If she has 10 guys calling her, lets see if she can get 15. 20.
Quality doesn't matter when you're collecting numbers/ orbiters like this.
hannulv 1y ago
I don't think even she can keep up with that many. She did try for a few weeks when she was on OLD but found it exhausting. Last night however, she got really sad... her 70 year-old orbiter that clearly wants to fuck her (which she is in denial about) started coming on super strong and trying to get her to come over to his place. She didn't think that he was seriously down to smash, just a big flirt. She thought he just wanted to be her Dad or something. Tears.
To me, I think she would prefer girlfriends, except that girls won't invest the level of time and attention she wants (unless they gay/bi and want to fuck her too). It is almost like she is in this catch-22, where she wants people to give her all their time and attention, but she is forced to accept that the only reason they will do this is because they want to smash.
wswZtyqNGQ 1y ago
My goodness! Human beings don't want to spontaneously throw themselves into slavery and spend their entire lives working to make some other person happy! The horror!
At this point you should have that woman get a brain scan to look for a tumor since she has absolutely no intellectual connection to reality anymore.
hannulv 1y ago
Here is the delusion as she states it:
So she's good at reading people and giving them what they want (conversationally) so that they will like her. However, 99% of the time with guys and 20% of the time with girls, this just means flirting. So basically she goes to tend bar, and makes every elderly cripple man feel like they've got a legitimate shot with her. At first, they start out respectful, but by beer 22, they're trying to grab her ass and talking about throwing her over the counter for a good pounding. Some of them even start pissed when she flirts with the next customer, and eventually people are throwing shit, smashing bottles, and storming off in a huff.. or following her out and cornering her by the car when her shift is up, demanding she go on a date with them.
While she forgives these cantankerous drunks for their improprieties, there's a dangerous level of personal denial going on within her own understanding of how much she's leading all these guys on. In her mind, they like her because she's pretty, and funny, and because she has such an infectiously fun personality. In her mind, she's earning her tips with the time and attention that she spends on them.
In their mind, she is leading them on to the point where they are seething with rage, when she doesn't make good on her unstated intentions.
Initial-Glove 1y ago
Men only talk to women bc they want sex.
They open a door? They want sex. They let you cross over in traffic? They want sex. It's odd that a woman that age hasn't figured out that guys aren't being nice bc they like her-- they want sex.
Nothing wrong with this. Its how men are wired. Men like sex. She has the sex.
And with the amount of physical and emotional baggage shes bringing, that's ALL she has to offer. That and a place to live.
hannulv 1y ago
I don't know if this is always true, a lot of men don't think past... "pretty thing... I feel drawn to it", and a lot men do nice things because they want non-sexual recognition and validation. A lot of men can be mostly "dead down there" or well taken care of, and others often have mommy issues where they are constantly seeking approval and validation from older women in any form.
Everytime this hits her over the head, she is shocked and goes into denial. She has a long list of male and female orbiters that have essentially ghosted her at this point, many of whom were her "best" friend for a spell.
I was an orbiter to a girl when I was 15 that was a master of drawing you in... flirting... kissing you... constantly smothering you in her massive tits... etc. whatever she needed to do to hook you, and she ended up working her way through all of my friends and turning them into orbiters as well. Eventually, I developed a lot of rage, resentment, and hostility towards this girl.
I've tried to educated my wife on the proper way to cultivate an orbiter so that that this resentment and hostility never manifests... essentially by establishing boundaries and making it crystal clear that you are not currently dtf in any capacity, while creating the illusion that you could potentially be dtf at some distant future point if the stars align.
However, the world that she wishes she lived in is a world where her wit, humor, and infectiously fun personality IS the prize that people are willing to trade their time and attention for. In her mind, her charms, flirts, and banter are sufficient and equal trade for their time and attention. Because of this she is continually crushed when her "best friends" ghost her and move on.
She does seem the most hurt by the fact that the tiny 70 year old man she's been flirting with (her new best friend for about a week) is actually serious about wanting to fuck her. She was abandoned by her psychopath dad (as an adult) and it is more distressing when a father figure disappoints her. But she actually deluded herself into believing that the reason he calls and texts multiple times a day to check in on her is because he cares about her as a friend. And even after realizing that he's way more dtf than she believed, she will probably succeed in blocking that out, and thinking that he is just a friend that deeply cares about her.
Pfizer 1y ago
Jo Navarro 'Dangerous personalities'. Great and fairly short read from former FBI agent. 'Dangerous' not per se as one would expect, its not about serial killers and such. Guy provides checklist. This book and one before 'People of the lie' (specifiacally first half of the book) helped me to make some DECisions.
hannulv 1y ago
I took his very expensive body language course. I'm not sure what point youre making though.
Pfizer 1y ago
Your wife has changed a lot, you might need some more info to prepare, something else than TRP, more insightful. Something that will make you think outside of known patterns.
Pfizer 1y ago
Ok I read elsewhere she was BPD or so, so nothing can prepare you. Unstable is jUST that unstable.
Navarro has the chapter how to deal with unstable if you cant just leave.
Other book has some other examples that can ex5end imagination.
Except that you still provide resources. How long do you think you could keep going in this environment. Assuming that shell go same way forever and.wont turn on you nor kiDS?
Also how much time do you give yo7rself b4 you go crazy and last fORT sheltering kids will fall?
hannulv 1y ago
I don't know. I don't expect her to do anything actionable against the kids during a situation like this, because it would disadvantage her.
I have a multi-pronged approach to help keep the BPD in check:
1) Enforce very stringent non-negotiable boundaries on a few things that aren't very important. (lack of boundaries seems like a big BPD trigger) 2) Be friendly and give helpful advice on other stuff without being pushy 3) Keep her dicked so she doesn't go crazy, especially if she is not getting any elsewhere 4) Take care of all my other responsibilities and pick up any slack she drops on the kids. 5) Be discreet. Don't rub her nose in shit with other girls.
[deleted] 1y ago
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hannulv 1y ago
I don't know if I agree with this. I know she'd struggle to pull a true AF as a husband, but I watched her do bumble for a while and a 40 year old chick that isn't fat or excessively wrinkly can pull an endless line of hot, young, ripped, player guys for sex, even some with fairly good bantz and game.
There is something weirder going on here with the Anti-Slut Defense. Somewhere deep down she feels that being an unapologetic whore that gets pumped and dumped by guys that don't give a fuck about her will hurt too badly and make her feel like human garbage. I am safe enough to fuck because we have history and I am legitimately concerned about her well-being.
There are also a ton of mostly OK (but not great looking guys) that would marry her 43 year old ass with 6 kids in a heartbeat.
This weirdo she is living with seems more like self-sabotage than anything. She is deliberately creating a personal train-wreck that is likely to end in dramatic explosion of violence... almost like she just wants to see what happens when she sticks her hand in the oven and grabs the burner.
Her rationale for the divorce was all about how she was too under my thumb, and not able to make her own choices or mistakes or have the experiences of someone responsible for their own fate... but now she is just hurling dynamite in the air and watching where it lands... particularly by goading and taunting this super-needy, rage-filled latino kid, to see what his limits of being fucked with are.
[deleted] 1y ago
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hannulv 1y ago
I get what youre saying, but the girl is very smart and intuitive. As soon as I pull back she will go into war mode, and stop making mistakes. As long as she feels comfortable she will continue to do things like moving out of the house, which will make it super hard if tries to fight for full custody later.
In addition, staying close means I get text evidence from her of their substance abuse, living quarters, fears of violence... Etc.
Im not trying to hold onto the marriage and im not worried about punishing or rewarding her behavior. Im just trying to get in the best position to extricate myself in the future, without getting divorce raped.
In my opinion this is best accomplished if a great guy takes her off my hands, that she actually wants to bang.
Pfizer 1y ago
If you did that and still do v well, she has no incentive? But to find dudes that will fulfill other needs, hence guy she doesnt even want to fuck but moved in with.
Seems a lot of probing for the best approach to.apply.
hannulv 1y ago
I don't get the machinations of her decision process.
But, I am getting the sense she is pretty done with her new retard. After 3 days of moving in, she finally realizes that moving in with a man-child essentially took everything fun about him and threw it away, and took everything not-fun about him and brought it to the forefront. She also resents that it is turning her into a shrew-nag.
Now instead of hanging out at the park and doing fun stuff like skateboarding or going to the bar.. she finds herself her constantly berating him to take care of his basic human skills, and his brain is too fried from 20 years of heavy pot use to do much of anything on his own. He is worse than our kids... he has to be nagged... things have to be planned out for him... he has to be told a time that will work... and with no car he has to be driven. He has almost zero capacity to take care of his own shit.
Pfizer 1y ago
She can.
I was thinking today. If we could do minimum, what would we do? Survive and fun.
She is certian shell survive; can probe whatever she wants, fomo, fuck the noise.
[deleted] 1y ago
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hannulv 1y ago
I not sure what you mean. This isn't a chick I can just ghost on tinder. I'm stuck co-parenting with this woman and at financial risk from her for the next decade and a half. If we try for a clean split, she will quickly find that she won't be able to afford a spot where even a few of the kids could live together. At that point, she will be doing whatever it takes to get every penny, and I don't see her pulling any stops.
She already has all these friends in her ear, encouraging her to do just that. I feel like keeping it chill, and being supportive while she buries herself is my best option.
Positive-Lifeguard80 1y ago
As a man you can start over anytime, that's something a woman cannot, she has only one shot. You have to let go of your possessions though. Being attached to anything is a sure way to lose it.
Your spouse is carefully preparing the divorce war while you seem to be oblivious to the rearmament happening in the background of the clusterfuck happening in front of you. Once the youngest child is old enough, shots will be fired and you will be in retreating battle with odds completely stacked against you.
The best way to handle this is to disappear over night unexpectedly before the papers are filed. The more confusion it causes, the better. You cross the border and leave no traces and start a new life instead of ending it. While you might look bad to people you never meet again, you will have the factor weighting you down the most removed from your life and your mental health will improve tremendously.
Few years from now you have another home, beautiful girlfriends you don't cohabitate with enjoy your new freedom. You won't fight any custody battles over the "Christian" family you left behind, because you escaped the provider slave frame and are your own master.
dirtymikeandtheboyz 1y ago
i stopped reading at the world trailer.... I would leave that world behind if I were you.
hannulv 1y ago
I've got a cocked revolver ready to help me check-out on a moments notice.
dirtymikeandtheboyz 1y ago
while i sympathize with suicidal ideation since I have gone through serious bouts of anxiety and depression. I would say its pointless to punish yourself for external circumstances. You need to become extremely selfish and live hedonistically for your own pleasure. As someone that has gone through depression and worked myself to the other side I cant tell you how much joy fixing your situation brings to you as an individual. I literally went from making 40k a year to unemployed for half a year to making well into the six figures about 5 to 6 years later. I dont really think back to the dark times anymore or about people that dont have a positive impact in my life, I have just moved on. You need to do the same but just a heads up, you wont start feeling better until you start making progress. You need to ignore your feelings for now and just do the work and the feelings will eventually change.
hannulv 1y ago
Its not really suicidal ideation... but its also not a world I cannot easily pickup and leave.
I have every intention of living hedonistically living for my own pleasure, but also need to work, feed lots of kids breakfast and dinner, put them to bed, take them to parks and on hikes...etc. The problem is that I already make at the top of my career (around qtr/mil) its just all at extreme risk should I end up divorce raped. Also this is not some chick off of tinder that I can just ghost. I am never getting rid of her... at least not for over a decade (we have a 3 year old together, and 5 other kids) She is capable of extreme pettiness and malice if she feels scorned. I don't need a thorn in my side fucking with me at every opportunity for the next 15 years because I couldn't play it cool.
I'm trying to ease into having more of a social life and boil the frog a little without toppling the apple cart. If I brought home a gorgeous 25 year old chinese girlfriend tomorrow, this whole thing would escalate and I'd find myself in a custody battle in 30 sec. So my plan is to discretely smash hoes without rubbing my wife's face in it. My hope is that she burns through her boytoy quick and finds someone she can see a future with to take her off my hands.
whytehorse2021 1y ago
It makes perfect sense to me. She's getting shitloads of attention from you. She finally found a way to get you to sit down and talk with her. This is like a comedic tragedy. You're trying to get rid of someone who wants your attention. So it becomes about giving them attention about how they go away. Did you ever consider why she started drinking? Probably because she doesn't get any attention from you. So she seeks it elsewhere and fails. Funny yet sad.
hannulv 1y ago
No. I used to fucking drown her in attention. We went out 3 times or more a week, talked for a couple hours everyday. We've been best friends for 27 years. I know what she is thinking and feeling before she's even aware of it. She was always just a black hole of need. I used to even sit and watch 3 of her stupid waste-of-time TV shows every week. I finally feel like I have a life because I don't have to pay much attention to her.
She's pretty much been a lush her whole life... but the drinking started getting really heavy about a year ago. She fell in with some party girl friends, and started smoking pot and drinking a lot more. Then she got herself an orbiter, and she put herself in increasingly compromising positions with him... getting super stoned and drunk, and when he fucked her... she felt taken advantage of and started drinking at suicide levels.
That would be where I would pinpoint the death spiral of the marriage. She wanted to die everyday because of her choices... and that slowly morphed into... "life is too short... I should do whatever it takes to make myself happy." She fixated on the idea that her unhappiness came from the fact that I was always protecting her from doing dumb shit, and that if she could just do whatever dumb shit she wanted... then she would learn from her mistakes on her own and be a whole person that was happy.
It does seem like she is in full train-wreck mode... almost like she wants to test and see how big of a train-wreck she can walk away from. She's also eager to live in denial about a lot of things, and she's good at putting inconvenient facts to the side and pretending they don't exist. When I call her on brutal truths, she often responds that she's going to make herself forget that particular thing... and she can.
She is like Guy Pearce in Memento, deliberating depriving herself of important realities so she can live in a delusion. And she can actually forget, which is the scariest thing.
Fourteen years ago when I was a fat, weak, religious, fully blue pill, career beta that was bad at sex and we only had two kids... She left me for about 6 months and moved in with a boy she knew from high school. When she told him she was going to leave him, He ended up kidnapping her 4 days, repeatedly raping her, and severely beating her. He choked her completely unconscious 5 or 6 times and she was certain he was going to kill her. She eventually convinced him that she loved him and would be his forever so that she could escape. She came home covered in massive bruises from head to toe, but she wouldn't press charges. He died a two years ago from cancer, and when she recently found out, she was devastated, especially that she missed the funeral. When I mentioned that hoped he died in the most painful and horrible way imaginable. She thought I was a monster, and argued that he had loved her and even proposed to her. When I reminded her of all the shit he did, she went into a full existential crisis for a month because she had completely blocked it out, and it took her days to even remember enough bits and pieces to realize I wasn't making it up.
Pfizer 1y ago
WTF
hannulv 1y ago
Ya... life is beautiful...
whytehorse2021 1y ago
This is starting to sound like BPD.
hannulv 1y ago
Ya she was full BPD for years... crazy abandonment issues, wild overreactions to things... destruction... violence... dead bedrooms. Most of the marriage was unbearable for me. I've put up with shit no other man would, mostly because I was very religious and felt like it was my duty.
But it was RP that really seemed to turn things around about 6 years ago. I got in shape, grew a backbone, and started standing up to her... and then proceeded to fuck the crazy out of her. She practically turned into a sex addict, but it also seemed to completely cure her anxiety and depression.
So yeah... I wifed up an insane girl that I started dating at 16.
whytehorse2021 1y ago
Yikes. Good riddance once she's gone.
hannulv 1y ago
She's never gonna be out of my life...
whytehorse2021 1y ago
Never say never...
hannulv 1y ago
I guess her new boyfriend might murder her... so there's that.
I could go tell him that she's taking him for a ride and fucking everybody else but him...
whytehorse2021 1y ago
I was about 11 when my mom decided she was tired of playing house and left to become an overseas nurse. Didn't see her much and then in my 40s(when she will be needing a caretaker) she suddenly wanted to be a part of my life. I discovered she'd been traveling the world and spoiling herself with riches. Now she's gonna die alone.