After getting treated like fuckmeat for a few dozen dates, my 43 year wife has settled down and picked a new man.
Hopefully these features will help someone figure out what girls are looking for:
- Huge emotional problems. Bursts into tears every few minutes when he's talking.
- Arrested development. Completely perma-stoned to the point where his mannerisms appear 14 years old. (Even though he's 33).
- Lives with his parents and likes to skateboard.
- Obsessively devoted. Texts all hours of the day and night, drops everything to meet up on a dime.
- Handsome. Reminds her of all the boys that wouldn't date her in high school.
- Humiliating. Took her out on her Birthday and acted so embarrassing that she came home suicidal and in tears and drank herself to sleep.
- Willing to wait. He'll wait for sex forever until she's ready. In the meantime, he religiously masturbates with the scrunchy she gave him that smells like her hair.
- Complex puzzle. A complex puzzle of childhood trauma that left him unable to do basic human things. She can fix the wounded bird.
- Mommy issues. (Fo' real. Fo' real turned on by her authoritative grownup voice when she ordered food.)
- Aggressive mate guarding. Insists on holding her hand whenever they're together, no matter how she tries to sit at the table so he can't.
- Substance Issues. Functionally stoned since high school. Excessive daily drinking.
Last night she agreed to be his exclusive girlfriend and stop dating other guys (within 12 hours of having another guys' dick in her.) She deleted her dating app and sent him screenshots (but actually lied because she didn't delete the associated account.)
He's going to rent a hotel for them this weekend, because she won't fuck him at the skatepark (a girl can have standards), she's afraid to let him know where she lives (in case he loses it - super obsessed), and she's not ready to meet his parents . But she suspects he won't be able to pull it off, since he was unable to ask for a togo box at the taco stand they went to on her birthday (arrested development) where she ended up buying him nachos (her favorite) and sending them home with him (because he can't take care of himself), and sobbing at her life choices.
She knows that he is someone who could never work out as a serious relationship, which might be what she likes best. The guy, though, is obsessed and going to lose his shit, so she half expects to get murdered, but rationalizes that is OK, because she is helping him to be a less of a broken person.
Any bets on how long they remain exclusive?
qfqads 1y ago
" The guy, though, is obsessed and going to lose his shit, so she half expects to get murdered"
you are projecting your own revenge fantasies
qfqads 1y ago
You should be reported to police for stalking and conspiracy to commit violence. And you certainly deserve a few days in prison.
Can you not see that you are merely a deranged lunatic spying on your ex and projecting your own insecurities while acting all clarvoiant ?
That 43 year old woman who found a 33 year old, who holds her hand and cares about her, got a MASSIVE upgrade. You are just an old frustrated stalker who knows he has not enough to offer to that woman.
Stop projecting imaginary flaws (Substance Issues, Mommy issues, Aggressive mate guarding, Obsessively devoted) that you 100% made up, and cannot possibly know about another person unless spending years with he/she.
You are only telling yourself lies, so that the pain you feel is somehow less. She got an upgrade and your value is much less than you would like. Accept this and do not take refuge in illusions and hatred.
" The guy, though, is obsessed and going to lose his shit, so she half expects to get murdered"
Todd_From_BrBa 1y ago
Is this a normal post or is it satire?
If this is part of a series that requires backstory (maybe from previous postings) then could you please link it at the top or bottom of your post?
I've read the post and the comments and have failed at comprehending what I've read (and the purpose of the OP for writing his OP).
Sometimes you just have to walk away when something doesn't make sense to you and do better next time.
roshnikhanna 1y ago
What's your plan in all this.
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hannulv 1y ago
I don't think with this dude... just make outs in the park. I usually get a "wanna smash?" text from her whenever she gets home from her dates.
It sounds like he's angling for this weekend though. He's so needy, I think he'll fuck it up though and give her cold feet. She really only has feels for him when she's drunk and high, and in the cold light of morning she gets more introspective. If he manages to secure a hotel room, she'll either get high and go for it, or she'll be skittish enough to stay slightly sober be stuck in some crappy hotel he paid for giving him a blow job out of guilt.
She spent years as prude, but the last two years she's been pretty down for gagging bjs and light kink. She likes to get tied up and talked dirty to most of all. She has a big phobia of butt stuff though. She's terrified of her own poop. One time when I was railing her and she realized that I was rubbing her butthole with my thumb, she started screaming and freaking out like an old lady getting chased by a mouse. She also has a massive hemorrhoid right now, which makes her cry. So the timing would be extra bad. I never got the piss thing. Seems like a big mess and not all that fun.
On the early morning of her birthday she was insatiable. I hammered the shit out her 4 times, and she begged me to get her off twice more after I was spent, which I did by pinning her down and dirty talking while I rubbed her off. She let me know that even though she was too sore and bleeding by daytime to go on any dates that it was worth it. She cancelled three, and then she still went on a date that night with retarded skater dude and came home devastated.
chadinthemaking69 1y ago
Better he’s a loser and you can laugh about it instead of him being an upgrade and think “fuck.”
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hannulv 1y ago
Dude. Nothing can make it more tragicomic.
She is a slave to her wiring, and her wiring is facing a two biological imperatives:
I believe that women in the situation who are not pregnant have an insatiable itch to broadcast their sexual availability, and put themselves in shady situations with guys until shit "just happens". This is what happened earlier this year. Her conscious decision to date other guys most likely came from a post-hoc rationalization trying to make sense out of letting herself get fucked while trying to be "friends".
At this point, my dream is for her to sober up and find a rich, handsome, quality dude that would make a great step-dad. But she's making all the wrong choices.
Pfizer 1y ago
If.there only would be sure way to find tinder swindler that would charm her, convince her to sign papers and left her hanging. Then you paying the dude for 80 days around a world.
SlipSunnySIde 1y ago
hey bro, thanks for this, my ex-wife is doing similar
OPPTRP 1y ago
what’s an associated account ( re dating apps)
hannulv 1y ago
She deleted the app. But did not delete the account. So all her contacts are still there whenever she decides to reinstall it, and she's still racking up likes offline. Deleting the account would mean she'd have start all over to go back.
whytehorse2021 1y ago
I'm trying to make sense of this. I get that she's a post-wall single mother so her options are very limited. I get that feminists have lied to her and made her believe she missed out on her hoe phase, she has unrealized potential, etc. I get that she has low self-esteem and is resorting to meaningless sex, alcohol, and drugs. What I don't get is why you are tolerating such disrespect? Are you broken, man? Next thing you know she'll be into meth and stealing from you. Snap out of it.
Anyway, if she's hot(not fat), I have a thing for cougars. You could send her out here to me and I could throw her a viagra party and she can ride for about 6hrs/day. While she's here you can move her out. After she's gone we can take a trip to SE Asia and find you a new woman. It will take about 10sec once we get there. https://www.youtube.com/shorts/C93W_-cDxmY
Pfizer 1y ago
There has to be more direct trigger (enabler).
whytehorse2021 1y ago
I think when the youngest is 5 and can go to kindergarten will enable her to use drugs and whore around during the day.
Pfizer 1y ago
Even with resposnibilities ending i have a hunch that 99% women need enabler for this k8nd of switch. Not random fling. I could be behind with sociodynamics and that FB post from uni friend is enough of the trigger, not living in US and not anglo
whytehorse2021 1y ago
True, but who has time during the day to go bang someone's wife?
Pfizer 1y ago
they come to get it. 5min out of schedule. Exc initial investment.
hannulv 1y ago
I guess. I'm also realistic about my options which are pretty limited. She could easily clean up with 40%-70% of my income if things went to war, since I've been single income for 25 years... Leaving me unable to house the kids even part time. That's a pretty big zero for me, as far as giving up.
I'm focused on helping her get an income and her own space, and being as amicable and friendly as possible. I'm even giving her positive dating advice to attempt to help her from getting herself into a shitstorm that blows back on me and the kids. I have no interest in investing in women ever again, so I'll just live my life, work on my shit, and smash hoes.
She's hot for her age, and I think she's younger than you. But she's very skittish about men, and you probably couldn't get her. She avoids fuckboys like the plague, and pretty much flees from any dude that seems sexually competent or aggressive. The way into her pants is to be a nerdy, needy, and handsome, and then play the long game by lavishing her with endless attention for a few weeks, before slowly amping up the make out sessions... kind of like with a skittish high school girl. She is pretty much actively avoiding anyone (except me) that might make her cum.
whytehorse2021 1y ago
I can see how having her get a new husband gets you out of alimony and possibly child support. It's pretty obvious she's trying to land a guy who doesn't know his worth. The type of guy who never got laid and then all of a sudden when he's in his 30s some woman looking for a bailout comes along. Typical dual mating strategy. The problem is that guys are getting wise to that. Maybe you should show her WhereAreAllTheGoodMen subreddit. https://www.forums.red/i/whereareallthegoodmen
I showed my wife that sub and then we had a long talk about what happens to women from age 40-90. Next thing you know she's on task with team family. In your situation it would be a process whereby she realizes that you're her hypergamous best option and she's earning her keep by draining your balls and raising the kids and keeping the home happy and tidy. She can be doing side work, instead of dating, to produce another revenue stream. She can also be working out to stay hot. If you dip out with a hoe it's no big deal.
hannulv 1y ago
She stays hot. Runs like 8-10 miles a day. If nothing other than to keep her options open. She realistically knows that she can't find an attractive guy that is going to take on six kids. She's found a few who claim they will that are not attractive. Passable in photos, and repellent in person.
I think she already thinks I'm her hypergamous best option, but she's also got a lot of demons. She's an alcoholic and she's a little suicidal.
whytehorse2021 1y ago
Jesus, six kids? All from you? WTF is she thinking trying to start over? I think those demons come from feminist lies. You could go the religious route. That's what's kept my wife(and millions of others) in line. Here's a woman who tells women how to be wives from a religious perspective: https://www.youtube.com/c/LoriAlexander1980
NotaBene 1y ago
Heh, never thought I'd see Lori linked to here.
whytehorse2021 1y ago
I'm pretty sure 90% of religion was invented to deal with hypergamy but that was before we had scientific terms for it and studies and all that. Back then they were just like "Well God said not to cheat on your husband".
NotaBene 1y ago
IMHO that's putting the cart before the horse. The proper practice of a righteous life on a community level leads to (among other things) hypergamy being restrained. I've seen it work.
Just kinda hilarious you'd link to Lori (a woman my wife has learned extensively from and trains other wives to be like). She has her flaws, and her husband is pretty boomer, but in general she's the kind of unicorn we want. And it's not despite her "religion" but because of it.
whytehorse2021 1y ago
Yeah when I go visit my wife's home town everyone is married and has kids. There are no divorces or single-forever women. There aren't a bunch of women walking around with black eyes and broken bones like feminists would have us believe. Even ugly dudes can find wives.
hannulv 1y ago
Yes... all from me. We were religious for a long time. I don't think its feminism... it's female wiring. She is having a crisis of pre-menopausal hormones, and the prime directive is genepool diversification.
whytehorse2021 1y ago
I don't think that's really a thing. There are certain psych medications that can make people hypersexual. If she were experiencing perimenopause she would have irregular periods, sleep probs, hot flashes, and sex would be very painful because the vaginal canal requires progesterone and estrogen to be strong.
My guess is she's bored of being a housewife and bought into all the feminist lies. I mean she's drinking, and racking up n-count. That's the lie about the sexual sameness of men and women. She's not focused on her kids. That's the lie about denial of maternity. Then there's the lie about self-sufficiency. And finally, since you mentioned her soy boy with weird secret sex lips, the lie that women will enjoy feminized men.
Seriously, it sounds like she has hamstered herself into blowing up the marriage and perimenopause is just an excuse. It's 100% her own doing because she's bored and listening to feminist propaganda.
Durek_The_Bald 1y ago
What's your plan in all this, as for yourself?
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hannulv 1y ago
No contact isn't an option. I earn all the money and there's no budget for separate housing. We have six kids and we've decided not to uproot them. Even a shitty 3 bedroom apartment here costs 20% more than our mortgage, and there's be no legit way for us to live like that long term, splitting 6 kids between two shitty apartments. We are basically stuck together for at least another seven years, unless she finds a rich guy.
I was in pain, but I'm over it. My wife is a cheating, lying, ho. She's already backpedaling on her new exclusive boyfriend. She won't change her fb status to 'in a relationship' because she doesn't want to scare off gentleman callers.