So this week is my 25th anniversary. We homeshool our 6 six kids. I've got a good job, a gorgeous wife that fucks me like a pornstar everyday, sometimes thrice... but she has demoted herself to FWB.

Enter mid-40s midlife crisis... never got to have "fun" in her youth and do things on her own. Hates her own children, but doesn't want to abandon them. Wants to live in a shitty apartment with roommates or a trailer on her own.

Enter bumble. 100+ matches a day with hot guys that want to fuck her. She's going on 5+ dates a day. She's collecting orbiters. Nothing better than guys who are obsessed with her, and have no life outside paying attention to her. Got a bartending job at the scariest dive honky-tonk in the state. Dresses like a stripper. Loves hearing all the old guys beg her to show her tits and threaten to bend her over the bar. Psychos follow her to her car after shift.

Only fucks the guys she can "see a life" with... but she is a sucker for manipulative narcissists. So guys that pretend to be super into her and deceive her into thinking they're standup, rich, and together get lucky. Comes home crying when she realizes her new "exclusive" boyfriend (that she wasn't being exclusive with) was also trying to fuck her fat disgusting friend.

BTW... I am beyond financially fucked. I guess I'm just laughing at this until I decide to eat a bullet.