TLDR; TRP changes you and you start seeing how blue-pilled even your closest friends are and thus relating to them gets difficult.
Intro
Disclaimer: I, by no means, consider myself a very red-pilled person or anything close to an alpha. I am still very much a beta and still a lot of BP things are left in me.
That said, I have been on TRP for about half an year now and it has really changed a lot of my perceptions about the world and for the better. One thing that made me stay here and read the content of TRP is that it all made sense to me, it felt logical, especially when you look at things from their evolutionary and biological standpoints. A lot of issues I have had/am having that seem to be occurring for no apparent reason were now explained to me in a way that really makes sense and also shows you what you are doing wrong. This made it easy for me to accept most of the RP's main points and theories. However, after some time I came to the conclusion that once you start seeing things from a RP perspective, you no longer relate to how people around you understand things. Oftentimes I'd catch myself saying something that I have learned here only to be looked at with confusion. Now, I get that we aren't supposed to talk about RP and soon I stopped doing that and kept my opinions for myself. As time passed and I started seeing a lot of RP principles and theories come true in real life experiences I really started to appreciate the pill. It helped me better myself in more than one way.
Body
However, this slow change I have been undergoing has also been slowly detaching me from my friends and even family to the point where I can no longer relate. The most glaring example of that is my group of three friends (me and two more guys). We all had similar female-related LTR issues and used to bitch about them all the time when we got together for a drink. We used to bitch about how we never get any luck with females, how only assholes get the girls and how it's super unfair. I used to relate to that. I deeply believed that it was the system and the game that was fucking us up and it even felt good at times to let off some steam that way. However, as RP preaches, you just gotta find a way and you either better yourself to get bitches or you stay at home and wank all day. And here it is, my perspective, although not so drastically changed has shifted quite a lot due to RP and now I can't help but see things differently.
My two mates, however, are the same way they used to be years ago - still bitching about not being able to talk to girls, still saying how it's all stacked up against them and that kind of crap while at the same time they do nothing to change that. I try to tell myself I used to be like that (I actually used to be much, much worse). I also try to show them that this is not DE WAE (sry) but they won't listen. I really hate how I sometimes get angry at them for refusing to see reason but it gets more difficult to relate to them. Even if I am still very blue-pilled and still very much a beta, at least I am trying to change it and it just becomes more and more apparent how they aren't. I don't want to be self-righteous or anything, I don't consider myself superior just because I now know about TRP. However, I value my friendships and it somewhat saddens me that I have started to become detached from people that I used to share and have so much in common with.
Mini field report
Just a quick example of how it feels trying to implement RP when your mates are still unaware of it: One night we went out to a bar and I had told myself that I'd approach any group of girls that have no guys with them and try to get them to hang out with use for the night. Told my friends that and we went to play some table football (the 3 of us). Soon I went to look around and told them to wait and keep the table occupied in case something comes up. The bar was full but most girls had guys with them.
Finally I noticed two solitary chicks dancing by themselves and went for it. I felt good, I was in a good mood and was whatever, doesn't matter if they reject me. Went to them said hi, then asked them if they wanted to join me and my two friends for a game of table football. They were reserved and it was difficult to persuade them but in the end they agreed. So we 3 go back to the table and then I see that two other guys are playing vs my 2 friends and my 2 friends couldn't give less fucks about the girls I brought as they were just so into the game. I tried to tell them to tell the other 2 guys to fuck off so that the girls can come hang with us but was utterly ignored as the game seemed to be more important. Naturally, the girls lost interest and I was left hanging. I admit, I got angry (though I shouldn't have) and left the place for the night. In the end my friends didn't even understand why I got so mad but I just find it difficult to accept their constant whining related to the severe lack of females and then, once I bring two 6-7/10s to them, they'd just ignore it for some game with two other dudes.
Outro
I am still a newbie but I have improved. An year ago I'd never think about approaching a girl and I'd never think that it is possible for me to get a date just from going to the bar. Although I still have a lot of emotional issues (maybe even more than before) at least now I have a direction and there is a lot of practical, in-field proof that RP is working when used properly. However, it'd be nice if close to me people would get me because guy friends are, in my opinion, of a very big importance in a man's life. Your friends don't really change after you take TRP but the way you see them does.

Constatine7 8y ago
I think you should have just told the girls to leave and played with your mates. Part of the I don't give a fuck attitude is to not have an obvious goal like that. The girls would have been much more attracted to you if you you adapted to the situation by bailing on them and putting your friends first. You would still not have gotten laid, but it would have reinforced your frame with yourself and your friends. Putting girls before friends is blue pill behavior.
jinglebells89 8y ago
Dealing with this right now. My friend recently got married and his wife clearly runs the show. She doesn't like me at all. I can tell the more and more I'm around them she is figuring out a way to get me out of my friend's life.
bot256 8y ago
This is fucking sad man and it's really difficult to make him see reason...
oscarkool 8y ago
Wait so do some of you guys really think that “red pill” is just another name for picking up girls? Its like your gauge of progress is how you perform in the bar.
This is irrational for several reasons, main one being that the bar is probably the worst place to meet and date girls.
If your goal is to become more of an alpha male type, then its best you drop this whole pick up mentality. Stop confusing “red pill” as alpha male picking up girls. Its not really that at all.
Real red pill mindset isnt about getting girls. Stop making this about WOMEN. The very fact that guys go through self-improvement to get more female attention is the most beta mentality ever. Just think about how pathetic this sounds: I’m trying to “red pill” so I can get girls to like me!
It’s really, really pathetic. It’s not red pill thinking at all. True red pill doesnt give a rats ass what some girl at the bar thinks about yourself. You should be improving for YOU. So that you can be a better human.
Attracting women is something that happens naturally when you’ve developed yourself. I see hot, young women chasing older, average looking guys all the time. Its not something you “practice” especially not with bar women...
Eventually you’ll learn that sex is overrated, women arent that great and life is really about how you make it for yourself. No amount of women or sex will improve the quality of your life — that is only something that you can do for yourself. This is the real red pill.
I’ve lost count of the number of girls I’ve hooked up with. So believe me on this: women arent that great. Stop seeking them for your own validation. You think trying to get laid is RP, but youre actually reinforcing your BP mentality.
bot256 8y ago
Nobody said it's only about women but if you want to get some (and most of us do) you gotta step out there and do what needs to be done. Nobody said you only gotta care about PUA stuff but I believe that at least 80% of people here are because of female-related issues and so improvement in this area is crucial for quality of life. One of the most difficult RP things to do is stand your ground when a woman comes and tries to push you around. Happened to me and that's why I decided on reading and applying TRP. Self-improvement and getting better with women aren't alternatives, those two things need to go together. And on a side note here, it's fun once you no longer fear approaching and go out to try talking to some chicks even if you don't get laid. I'm still trying to get there. Anyway, nobody here said you gotta improve yourself just so that you could get females, but if you want to get females you got to improve yourself. I've said it before and I'll keep saying it, TRP is a life saver in more than one areas and aspects of life - it helps with women but it also generally helps with getting your shit together and becoming a quality human being.
Alexinfinite01 8y ago
Jesus I've had similar issues too
drkorseinoz 8y ago
2nd comment, OP is 100% correct. I am currently possibly divorcing over this very thing. My wife is totally blue pilled and refuses to even see purple (red/blue). My 19yo daughter is listening to sense happily, but is purple, and I'm backing off for fear of destroying that relationship.
The trouble as I see it is when you are TRP, you see clearly, and you want to help loved ones because you are genuinely afraid for them in some cases. Imagine the dads in the UK crap we're hearing about now. No win situation there folks. "Stay away from those people"..."Dad, that's racist!" Seriously, what do you do?
As an old fart, basic attitude is try to help as much as you can. Don't give up, but if you push them away you lose anyway.
OP you nailed it with "you just gotta find a way".
Good luck to us all, because this shit's getting scary peeps.
2dox 8y ago
This rings true to me even without the use of TRP. When I changed my life for the better even before i found TRP, I noticed everything that my friends had been doing wrong, in my opinion, in their life.
drkorseinoz 8y ago
THIS " you just gotta find a way..." this is the basic of all philosphy of my (male) generation. Why the F don't the current gen learn this by 12 or 13 is beyond me! We were like dude, I blew it with this girl by doing this stupid thing...your mates would be (after howls of laughter and derision), full of advice and pointers. You'd filter the obvious dumb stuff and distill into a plan for next time. Guess what? Usually improved your results...if you had any sense and modified everything to your basic personality. All this was face to face. But then we didn't have nearly enough electronic distraction then. And no, I'm not old farting about stuff...typing this on a Samsung tablet FFS.
OT, what I truly believe helps with TRP is being able to "read" others. Like for instance you're on social media and someone offers advice there are no body language or other cues to help your understanding. They might be genuine, but how do you know? Face to face gives heaps of non-verbal clues. Might start this as a sep thread...whaddya think TRP'ers? Or am I full of it?
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mrHappyPotatoe 8y ago
Well... Alice's parents didnt understood her either when she went down the rabbit hole.
Cabbletitties 8y ago
Dedicated my life to self improvement 2 years ago and cut off my best friends of 6 years at the time. Haven't made any friends since and I'm the happiest I have ever been, then again I don't feel the need to socialize. If they don't support you, fuck em, life's too short for bullshit.
0xdada 8y ago
Not giving a fuck anymore means I'm less predictable, and that changes trust levels with everyone. I can do a lot of things really well, except making inferior men with power feel comfortable. We always both know, and its hard to reconcile. I don't know how I am going to keep a corporate job anymore, other than becoming a complete predator.
A married female friend I've known since we were kids is both unnerved and getting sloppier and sloppier when she drinks, and as soon as the booze comes out I'm constantly deflecting friends' wives. I have always been the good looking funny friend, but after a few years of lifting and not giving a fuck, it can get uncomfortable when you are no longer like anyone they have met.
FinallyRed 8y ago
This is something I'm not looking forward to ramping up from where it is right now for me. Part of it is knowing AWALT and so you can't subconsciously interpret the signals as friendliness. I think that sends a signal back that you know what's going on and "get it" making you even more attractive.
Redpilledaccordingly 8y ago
Dude, this sounds terrifyingly similar to my life. I occasionally spot my higher ups trying to sabotage me. I really hate inferior men with power.
asadi1 8y ago
Read a book called 48 Laws of power. Hope it helps
lilbro1984 8y ago
Could you elaborate more on this?
stoplosingatlife 8y ago
if they aren't about your success, then they aren't about their own success because you're going to be better than them. you don't need em, let the welfare feed em.
strikethrough123 8y ago
One of the most wonderful things about TRP is meeting like-minded individuals. I personally enjoy dropping some TRP truth bombs here and there as a filtering mechanism and it's worked wonders.
SillyPutty47 8y ago
I think you're taking the wrong approach with your friends. Lead by example. If they see you slaying and getting dates regularly, they'll come to you for advice.
At this point the best analogy I can give is the scrawny kid at the gym giving fitness advice. No one will blindly follow what you say unless you've got some proof that it works. If you've got a great physique, people ask for tips. Parallel to that, if women are lining up to date you then your friends will take notice and seek your advice.
[deleted] 8y ago
No sadly, this is not what will happen. You will have new people come to you for advice. Your old friends, will either become jealous and hate you, will drift away because they don't have anything in common, or will just feel bad about themselves when they see you improve, and are forced to look at themselves.
SillyPutty47 8y ago
As I relied to someone else, those were never your friends then. Friends don't drag you down, they elevate you.
Redpilledaccordingly 8y ago
No. This is painfully wrong. I got disrespect, cattiness, and one "bro" even went out of his way to sabotage me. Even if you're pulling every attractive tale in sight, there's skepticism because beta you wasn't behaving this way back then. They feel mentally assaulted as well. If you could jump through moons, and become this alpha stud. What's their excuse for not doing the same?
SillyPutty47 8y ago
Jealousy is a real thing and those aren't your friends. Time to elevate your company if you're surrounded by crabs in a bucket. Nothing I said is painfully wrong if those were actual friends and my advice isn't only applicable to slaying with women. Your friends should elevate you when you get a promotion at work, hit a PR at the gym, or attain whatever goal you're after.
rad_dynamic 8y ago
Perfectly said. You can only get someone to do something if they genuinely want to do it. They must have a real desire to learn. Leading by example is the best way to spark their interest.
Saberinbed 8y ago
Not true. Some of them will shit on you no matter what you do. Even when i started slaying. My friends always made excuses as to why i was getting the poon. “oh shes a slut, dude she aint even that hot, you’re probably a side piece. she must’ve been desperate, you try too hard and approach too many girls”
Its all the same. Some people will never change.
Celicni 8y ago
Can confirm, same thing here.
ex_addict_bro 8y ago
we're your family now
HAVE A HUG
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SaladThunder 8y ago
Your friends definitely will view you in a different light. My roommates have described my new motivation and approach to life as borderline "psycho". They say I go about my day checking all the little boxes. And that's fucking right. I will constantly improve and will live my life I will be better.
SKRedPill 8y ago
Just realized this is how every man earned his respect in time.
Docbear64 8y ago
Isn't it sad? You are psycho for caring about your life, for investing heavily into the fine details of your life, and making an effort to get the life you want.
So many people chalk success up to luck when the truth is most of them do average things and live average lives. If you want the extraordinary then you either start off with extraordinary circumstances or create the kind of habits that lead to an extraordinary life.
charlieshammer 8y ago
Right? Suddenly I have ‘OCD’ because I’m not interested in living like a slob.
[deleted] 8y ago
I still get mocked for it by friends. Take it with a grain of salt.
I work too much. I lift too often. I don't spend enough money and "enjoy myself."
Who cares. Most people have no vision in life. I found one and focus on it and it works really well.
Edit: When you are checking off those boxes people will see it and feel insecure that they aren't, because inside there is born into us a drive to thrive. Most people never realize this intellectually, let alone in the physical world, so like crabs in a bucket... you know.
SaladThunder 8y ago
Unfortunately in my case, I've become that crab because of a woman on more than one occasion. TRP is new to me so hopefully this time it STICKS
[deleted] 8y ago
You need to just take full responsibility for yourself on a daily basis. I know this sub is all about sexual strategy but the best thing anyone can do, in my opinion, is extended monk modes with the only social contact being career and or close male friendships.
This provides a solid foundation and a long enough time for new habits and values to develop and stick.
SKRedPill 8y ago
When you change, all your relationships change.
Relationships that depended on a certain power balance of you being beta will either be transformed totally or will die.
amekooky 8y ago
envy is a bitch, but it can be a good kind of envy though to motivate your lads to go throw around some weight. friends have always been slim, now skinny fat and they solely believe cardio will keep you ripped and lean. ive been a fatty, who lifted heavy while finally dieting on keto the last 3 months which is finally exposing the muscles..got tons of compliments last weekend by females(2 years hard work) and you guessed it.. the lads were posting about "hitting the gym" first thing monday evening.
BigMawsmidget 8y ago
This right here is why I come to this sub +1
Blood--Lust 8y ago
This really clicked for me. During high school, I was the biggest beta I knew. Career choices and my confidence in them, in parallel with academic success during college, transitioned me into an alpha. When I look into old acquaintances eyes, even best friends, they seem to be thinking, “who the fuck is this guy ... like where did he go?” I’d say it was a change of enough magnitude to even creep people out.
JerryLawlerPigFace 8y ago
Yeah man, absolutely. Becoming more independent and ambitious over time will 100% create distance between you and the people that grew up with the “beta” you.
Up until college I pretty much just accepted my role as the “baby of the family” because I was indeed the youngest. I kinda just followed in the footsteps of my older brother and did not have the self awareness to see that he liked to be the puppet master over me, that’s how t was for years and years.
Sure enough, I went away to college and grew extremely independent. I would notice the distance forming a little bit at a time each time I came home for the summer or breaks. I got heavily into meditation and developed a great sense of self awareness to all of my dependent and beta tendencies. When I graduated and returned home, the relationship between my brother and I started to go downhill.
He would continue to try and give me orders or basically try to use me as a tool to enhance his life. Now, being older and more mature, I would just look at him like “lol, what?”. It seemed so ridiculous to me that he literally thinks he could “give me orders”. And he’s not taking it well either, because that sense of power over me is just about gone.
He’ll get scared and try to threaten me like in years past by saying he won’t do XYZ for me, and soon enough he realizes that I don’t need him for XYZ anymore, because I’m not 5 years old. I’m a grown man and can do things for myself.
This furthers the distance between us. But hey, what can you do. It’s the way life unfolds I guess
SKRedPill 8y ago
Do not step into a great man's shoes -- was one of the 48 laws of power.
An even more relevant one is - do not stay in a greater man's shadow.
For men, this is one reason why most stay beta - others around them need to recalibrate and it's not pleasant for them. This happens to boys much more than girls - a complete role reversal of childhood. Girls can still be daddy's baby no matter how old they get. But if they're sensible, they'll realize it's for your good and form a new relationship with the new man. It's a man's pain. I have my own term for it - "the second birth".
But most won't. Humans are creatures of subconscious habit and emotion and herd animals. In this one aspect even most men around you are more emotional and solipsistic than wise.
JerryLawlerPigFace 8y ago
I’ve started to notice this not just with the red pill but with other areas, such as meditation. No longer caring or getting caught up in petty day to day complaining as well as having strong passions for shit that doesn’t matter is an easy way for distance to form.
[deleted] 8y ago
Meditation is phenomenal. Can't say enough good things about it. It's changing me. And I learned yesterday it is the only activity that regenerates the frontal cortex. It literally works out the brain and physically improves it. You must meditate. It is an integral part of TRP self improving philosophy. Working out your mind. LIFT (the brain).
Edit: fixed a typo.
bot256 8y ago
Hey bro, if you could, could you give me some reliable meditation information source? I am currently meditating for about 10 mins for my morning routine but I might want to take meditation a step further and see how it works for me so could you direct me to some basic meditation tips that have worked for you?
mambo_matt 8y ago
Eckhart Tolle: Practicing the Power of Now. Read it, live it, improve.
[deleted] 8y ago
Hey man; not much to offer except I paid 60$ and bought a year of membership to an application called "Calm". It is assisted meditation and I love it. I do a session first thing in the morning, another one when I get back from work and another one before going to bed. Total of around 45 minutes a day for me. The app is one of the most popular out there and the girl who speaks is very good and soothing. You can try it out for free too. I think you get 21 meditation sessions for free. I did 7 days of anxiety management to help with approaching girls and am now well beyond that doing other types of meditation. If you want expert advice she provides it during the meditation sessions.
bot256 8y ago
Thanks mate, I will look into it, I have been doing meditation for some time but not too consistently, however recently I tried to be more consistent and though I am not sure how much it helps me in everyday life, for me it really feels really nice to just silence the voices in my head for a couple of minutes of each day.
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[deleted] 8y ago
You don't get to decide how your friends and family reacts or behaves.
You have power over your thoughts and actions. Not of others.
And don't think by changing your thinking and behavior you will influence others to change. You might. But that is not a good motive.
VanRedPill 8y ago
First rule about fight club....
If people around you want to change too, they'll notice and come to you and ask. Don't try to shove your 'religion' down other's throat, because who the fuck likes those Jevoas Wittnesses coming knocking at your door?
[deleted] 8y ago
I agree with you. I’m still in school and I started reading red pill at the start of 2018. Since then my social group has changed and I hang out with better people now. While I still talk to my old friends most of them are just like what you described. I was also getting made fun of a lot before TRP but once I started reading I stood up for myself and found better people to hang with. TRP isn’t just for women it helps with every thing in life.
Alpha_Jedi 8y ago
Very true. I did a full post on the red pill implications of becoming aware: https://alphajedi.com/2017/05/18/friends-like-these/
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[deleted] 8y ago
This reminds me of running laps in football practice.
Your teammates enjoy it when you keep up the same pace as everyone else. As soon as you start to run faster and pass them, they get angry.
Why? Because it makes them look bad. They can't match your pace, and instead of getting upset with themselves, they get mad at you for wanting to do better.
bot256 8y ago
That's why I don't like going for long runs/jogging with another person - they are either gonna be faster or slower and you need to follow your own pace instead of adjusting to theirs. I really dig your metaphorical example.
DandBPrime 8y ago
Sounds like your friends are more RP than you are.
truedemocracy3 8y ago
The Red Pill often dives into 'the anger phase' and how having the curtain pulled back on sexual dynamics leads to new initiates being upset about being lied too.
But that feeling towards women is nothing compared to the same experience with friends. The good news is the pill helps you easily differentiate between other red/alpha friends, betas, and betas that try to undermine you for pussy.
Ananonguy88 8y ago
Table football fuck yeah, I'd ditch any hoe for a jug of beer a good match with a worthy opponent. I bet these bitches didn't even know how to play.
juliusstreicher 8y ago
You think that's bad; I bet they wouldn't even score a point in a real football game!
bot256 8y ago
Of course they fcken didn't and I too enjoy a nice match with the bros, but that night I had my sights set on other goals (pun intended).
mcs007 8y ago
I think he means time spent with friends is more important than time spent with random girls. Although I agree with you OP, and I'd be pissed off too since it's taken you a long time to be able to approach women like you did. But you can't expect more from a person than they're capable of, and your friends certainly don't sound capable of entertaining any woman in any scenario that leads to escalation.
My point: value your time with the right friends in the right scenario.
Ex of this: My friends and I took a trip to the beach and we ran into some girls. I got a number and kept in touch that night but I stayed with my friends and had a hell of a night. Logistics were off so I didn't get laid that night. BUT we kept talking for months and I did fuck her a few months later when I went back to the beach, and she even came to see me 4 hours away.
Mathew_F 8y ago
This happened to me, swallowed the pill and realized how cucked my closest friend was. Had to end the friendship.
Atheist_Utopia 8y ago
You wouldn't know how many friendships I ended due to pill. I abandoned an entire group of friends that I realized were dragging me down.
do_it_or_leave 8y ago
I understand what you mean, but from another perspective.
I ended up finding something better than getting drunk and going after chicks, but now I have more abundance than ever.
Of course my old friends can't relate to me and I made new friends. We keep in touch but we know it is not the same as before.
chesterburger 8y ago
Just because you are changing doesn’t mean you have to ditch your old friends or think you’re smarter or better. Do other things with them then go to bars and chase women. There’s many other things to talk about and do.
bot256 8y ago
So I never said anything about ditching or thinking I am better, quite the opposite.
juliusstreicher 8y ago
Well, knock that shit off, then. Ditch these fucking turds. They are antithetical to what you're about. You cannot bring these fucks up to your level where you are now; how the fuck can you lift them with you when you progress?
I know exactly where you are, because I've been there-start to disengage from these dorks. You ARE better than them. Let them go fuck themselves, while you fuck the chicks.
mpboyl16 8y ago
Disengage from these "dorks" because they were more interested in the game they were playing than the two girls OP brought over? Pretty ridiculous conclusion to arrive at. Can't imagine if I based my male friendships off how good they are with girls. Unless his friends are actually huge losers which this one little story doesn't prove, I wouldn't take that to be the solution. OP shouldn't have trouble pulling girls due to his friends as long as they are somewhat normal guys. That's just an excuse.
Celicni 8y ago
You're assuming this is a one off situation. From what I can tell, they're like that constantly.
juliusstreicher 8y ago
Neither can I, and I said nothing to that effect.
Don't know why you chose MY post to put this stuff out there.
mpboyl16 8y ago
My comment was in direct response to your advice to ditch those turds. But to be fair, after going back I did pass over aspects he details about his friends other than that one snippet of their evening. So could be solid advice.
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[deleted] 8y ago
I've tried to get some of my closest friends to "see the light" as it were. No one cares. They don't want to change, because change is hard.
What can you do?
The answer is nothing. You do you. Lead by example. If they come around so be it, if not, well too bad for them.
ThatOneDrunkUncle 8y ago
Water seeks its own level. Before improving yourself you had a defined position in each of your circles' social hierarchy. It exists whether you can identify it or not. When you attempt to shake things up, your friends will see you as arrogant for thinking you're better and improving, even if you're not acting so arrogantly, or will be jealous, or best case, will take your example and improve themselves. Try not to look down on them like this, or at least don't verbalize your superiority. They really don't know better, just like you didn't before reading some Internet things.
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