How do you calibrate how much guidance you give an LTR when it comes to boundaries?
Answer: I'm torn between saying as the man it is your responsibility if/when she is about to cross a line by reminding her of said boundaries while simultaneously holding head space for the idea you should let her act out her wishes and react accordingly.
I can go further on the second line of thinking by saying eventually her true nature will win out when one of these times, you aren't there to give her a gentle reminder.
mattyanon Admin 8h ago
You're dating a whore.
Just admit it.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 7h ago
If she's not respecting simple and reasonable instruction and acting like a free woman despite being in a relationship then you already know why she's doing it
She doesn't need to be reminded of your boundaries she just doesn't care about them
If she seriously cared about making you happy she would be bending over backwards to honor your boundaries and wouldn't think of they are much of a sacrifice to have and keep you
@Mattyanon is more than likely correct
Kloi 5h ago
They're all whores.
Think more along the lines of she's been told repeatedly not to toss my dailies in the pantry while tidying up my kitchen.
On the one hand, she's cleaning the house. On the other hand, quit putting my fucking creatine in the cupboard.
Your points sill stands, it's my house, it's a simple request she constantly opts to ignore.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 5h ago
Then why commit to them? Do you hear yourself?
I find if your requests go against their hard ingrained habits it is not unreasonable or unusual for them to take some reminders.
I have had girls ignore stuff especially contamination OCD stuff and although they didn't care it took a while for them to catch on cause my requests were not unreasonable (don't touch dirty things then touch me) but it took time for them to adapt
However, I find the ones that are super slow to adapt genuinely don't care. And when it comes to something bigger they will cross you with the same lack of concern as small matters they don't listen to
brazilianxof 5h ago
Wait what? Those are your "crossed boundaries"?
My god...You belong to Fresh and Fit
Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 4h ago
I agree. This is nothing.
This isn't girls' night out. This isn't staying in touch with exes.
FFS, @Kloi, get some perspective.
brazilianxof 5h ago
I think you let your dislikes clear. If she do again, you say overtly, and watch for her reaction, so you'll know if it'll stop or if she don't care. Then you make your decision (stay or leave).
I don't think you should try to convince/guide. Mostly she'll end up pissed and pointing fingers.
Also, once i heard, "let her be as free and loose as she want, so you'll see who she is"