Earlier, as I was reflecting on the friendships I've had in this life, I thought about the miniscule number of female "friends" I've had. These were friends in the conventional sense, i.e., I was never friend zoned because I never tried to approach them in a non platonic way (they were either engaged or in a serious relationship when we met and always in a "don't defecate where you eat environment").
In every case, these female friends were vastly inferior to any of my male friends (in regards to selflessness, value, rapport, etc.), regardless of how casual those male friends were. This inferiority was so obvious, in fact, that when I had told one of those female friends that male friends were vastly superior to female friends, she paused and thought about it before agreeing. Also in each case, I observed that it wasn't just me that these female friends treated in a sub-par manner: they were subpar friends to their own female friends. They would show selfishness, jealousy, and/or deception to their female friends that would come and go with the seasons until many of them, ironically, only had male friends left who, like me, dealt with them at a larger distance as time went on.
Now, I've hypothesized that the beneficially based reason females make almost worthless friends is because how our society raises them. For the most part, if the average family has a daughter, it's considered a success if she makes it to her 20s without having a baby or catching an STD. As we all know, however, the bar for success for men is set much higher: financial independence and success, following a moral code, etc. Men are expected, for the most part, to abide by some set of principles. We all have seen the stereotypical father-son moment in sitcoms, dramas, etc. where the father teaches his son a valuable life lesson and a tenet of acceptable behavior. There are no female equivalents in mainstream media. Thus, because of the lack of high moral expectations, one can't be surprised that traits that make horrible friends are commonly found among females.
What I would like to know is if any of you think there's a biological basis for women being subpar friends, even to other women. I find it surprising, especially since females are typically more social than men.
dreams 4h ago
Women have to protect their womb from bad candidates while men are supposed to infiltrate their snatch.
Their uterus is designed to filter out weak sperm while only accepting strong sperm while our shaft is designed to penetrate and impregnate best we can. That biological basis is what everything else spawns from, including their ability to be a good friend to a male.
She knows to give advice on how to filter out bad candidates, and make herself more appealing to the good ones. However, the rules for filtering out candidates and attaining them differ for females than males and thus most of the advice they will give will be bad.
Only betas need girl "friends". Alpha's have girl friends that they either fuck, party with or derive some sort of benefit with. It's only the betas that go to them for advice and share emotions with them. That's because Alpha's know that a good girl friend is someone who they can derive a mutual benefit from, not someone who they can show themselves as weak infront of and "level" with them.
mattyanon Admin 1h ago
Women are inherently selfish and self serving. Women expect to profit from male acquaintances and are experts at getting men to do things for them. Pretending to be friends is one way to do that.
As regards F-F friendships: yeah, those suck too..... I think they just didn't evolve friendship in the same way that men have, but I don't know the details.
Biological basis: tricky, because you first need to find the biological basis of friendship in men. What's the benefit, what's the cost.