So I had this plate for almost 2 months. First month, sex was great, made her cum and squirt countless time with my cock. She's been texting me good morning every day since we met up and we agreed to date exclusively to see where this goes.
For the last 2 weeks, this bitch started to tone herself down on the affection and excitement she's been offering me and always used to be very sexual with me on all media, including when we met up.
She rarely tells me anything sexually related and she has stopped initiating sex (she used to tell me how horny she was and that I should come over) and when I tell her something sexual, she just giggles or sends some bitch ass emojis.
My senses are on alert since I believe this bitch is seeing another fag. So I've started building up on leads, I have 2 girls I'm supposed to see this week behind her back. On the weekends if she doesn't come up with a proposal to come over or to see each other (because I'm the only one who initiated until now and I want to see if she does this) I'll go salsa dancing.
This bitch wants to text with me a lot, but I don't like this, since I want to fucking see her but I want to see if she can show interest by fucking initiating for once (she actually already did this in the past by telling me to come over or that we should see each other).
I started to withdraw my attention through texting and gone cold and she asked me what's wrong and why am I being cold. I told her I am not that talkative through texts. She responded by saying "is this a subtle way to tell me this because we haven't seen each other this week?". So this fucking bitch knows what's up but she does not want to act on it and see me. I went cold on her responding with "There are alternative ways to texting" she said "Ok" and I left her on read.
I am planning to not contact her until she either calls me or asks to see me. You have to understand that this bitch went from 24/7 horny sex to cold ass shit. So my bells instantly went on high alert.
I've already planned an aggressive hunt for girls until the end of the week by going out and OLD, to keep my mind off of her, fuck something else cause I have fucking needs, and build some other plates.
Am I fucking insane, clingy or controlling?
SeasonedRP 2 4h ago
Your instinct not to contact her is the right approach. Girls don't go cold after only two months unless someone else is in the picture. Doesn't sound to me like you did anything wrong. Things like this just happen.
Mountainman 1d ago
You’re right she has someone else. She’s stringing you along while seeing if her hottest prospect pans out…I had a similar situation with a blonde bartender. Fucked her the 2nd night after I met her and she squirted, let me fuck her ass and said “wow you really are daddy.” We fucked a few more times and then she moved onto another guy. A few months after that, she replied to my story, I asked her to come over and she just hit me with a bs emoji.
She ends up in a relationship for 3 years with an oofy doofy. Early last year we link up again and as I’m taking her pants off, she’s telling me how bad her ex was at sex.
Women are dumb. Pull back and she’ll come around eventually again, but never take her seriously.
Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 1d ago
Mistake. How did she earn a commitment to exclusivity from you?
You "see where this goes" when things are loose and undefined.
Heh. Odd way to confess your gayness..
Good.
That's a great set up for a little fogging: "I can see why you'd take it that way".
Or just have fun with it: "apparently it wasn't that subtle; you figured it out rather quickly".
None that I can tell, but you have oneitis and little to no frame. Your entire post was about her.
What do you want? What are you willing to tolerate? Why are you giving your exclusivity away as if it's worthless?
lambOfGod 1d ago
damn man, you're right. Except the fag part.
It's crazy how sometimes a BPD hoe can make me lose frame and shit on myself.
By the way, update, she tried to gaslight me into saying "I don't know what you're saying or what you want from me you're acting cold", when, in fact, she started acting cold and I acted cold back. It's done, she said that she won't have sex with me again and I said "cool".
Of course, this was a set up, because she is clearly seeing someone else. She be giving trash ass excuses to me when I tried to come over like "I have a presentation at work tomorrow and I want to rehearse tonight because it stresses me out" or saying that she can't that day and bullshit like that.
To be honest, I don't feel anything right now. I am a bit at ease because I don't have to deal with this girl anymore and I can pursue playing in a band and seeing other girls.
dreams 1d ago
That's what happens when you fuck a BPD hoe... especially if they are physically attractive .... you got to be careful not to get addicted to their pussy. TBH I'm wondering if it is worth fucking these whores at all...
pofkaf 1 1d ago
It's clear that you have oneitis. The entire post was about her. You're hitting up other chicks just to get some type of revenge on her. You're Your being passive agressive in communications with her. language is needlessly aggressive because you feel upset at her.
This is a one-way train to misery. Hop off of it right now.
ExConvictNowMillionaire 4h ago
Spot on. And since women match your energy the passive agressiveness only makes shit worse. If it wasn't about revenge OP would focus on personal development or his friends rather than a new useless plate
dreams 1d ago
You're not insane. This is the game they play because the want to see if you really are the guy she should be fucking. She knows exactly what she's doing. Somewhere along the line you decreased the amount of respect she has for you and she may have found someone else she is respecting more at the moment. This is the game they play... you think you're juggling plates? They are the masters of that... you were the best at the moment and somewhere you lost a little ... not that the other guy is better (could be) but also the other guy maybe hasn't fucked up (yet) like you have.
Don't text as much, prioritize your own self interest in life outside of her. If she texts take a long time to respond to it and she'll wonder what is going on.
Second, you may be clingy or controlling because she was fucking you and you got addicted to the sex and validation and now that is being taken away from you. It's normal.
She is like, "why aren't you texting me like before while my mind is on fucking another guy? do you have other options? should I readjust my respect for you and leave the other guy for you? what's going on im starting to feel anxiety about what the right choice i should make is please tell me".
Make the choice for her by ignoring her and going for other options but don't let on that you are salty or mad that she is doing what she needs to do to survive.
Also it is okay to text but don't be a rag for her.... just scroll back to your texting history and try to act like how you were acting in the first place with her before you got comfortable
[deleted]
Musicgoon78 3 20h ago
Bro, she's fucking with you and you are halfway tolerating it. At the very least soft next with zero contact for a week or so.
I personally would just tell her what you want directly. Either she steps up or she can fuck off.
Let's be honest, If you had other options, this shit wouldn't bother you. You care too and this is too new of a relationship to be putting up with this garbage.
You're not insane, she's stringing you along brother.
First-light 2 17h ago
I don't think we can be sure what exactly is going on here. There is a problem. But if you escalate your response too fast, you may not get to find out if it was a solvable one.
She might indeed have someone else.
One must also bear in mind that female sexual interest falls off as they secure you. This is why men tend to hold on to the women that don't drop their sexual interest off a cliff. Its probably why you went exclusive with her because she was keen.
Women rarely initiate in long term relationships, even when they are keen on and good at sex.
There is also another possibility -that she is simply questioning if you are the right guy? From her perspective, she met you, fell for you and you fucked like rabbits but is that all this is? Are you only interested in the sex? Has she just whored out to end up being used as a booty call, again? (yeah in this case its likely to be her usual story and she disgusts herself but can't stop doing it).
Is she a bit BPD? Is she coming off being manic?
My point is you don't know her very well yet.2 moths is nothing. You may find its bad news, perhaps she has met someone else or that really all she was good for was taking dick and when she stopped being enthusiastic all you had was a miserable boring or unbalanced woman to deal with. But you don't know yet.
If you escalate your reaction, you might string out her compliance through dread but it won't touch the underlying issue and it might also convince her that a break up is the right thing.
I would take her out, get her relaxed and then talk to her about it before actually pulling right back. The its clear what this is about if you pull away. You need to have realistic aims -24/7 horny women do not exist outside the first weeks of a relationship. But she still needs to satisfy you or you will move on.
A woman not giving you sex and acting like its nothing while you burn with frustration makes you feel angry but acting angry or cold never fixes the problem (might get short term compliance but at a worse long term cost). You will need to be kindly in how you approach it to get any positive result and of course there may not be a positive outcome to be had anyway. With sex its always about how she feels not how she thinks. You can't change her mind only her feelings, first you need to find out what she is feeling, so talk directly and kindly to her about it when you have her relaxed and feeling secure.
dreams 10h ago
This is bad advice in so many ways
A. He’s not in a long term relationship with her she’s supposed to be a plate he’s spinning but this guy probably has her as his #1 option and doesn’t have anything to replace her with
B. Being direct you get put into the provider/long term relationship bucket which turns off women. Women want fantasy and for you to communicate in power talk with them. It is one of the tenets of red pill. If he was trying to date her long term sure it doesn’t matter because she would be more accepting of whatever he offers but if you want to fuck them for free you need to stimulate their fantasy as opposed to being boring. Power talk requires you to know what is going on without explicitly putting everything on the table and being “serious”. If op wants to continue fucking her he would have had to keep up the same attitude he started with and made her want to fuck him in the first place. Somewhere along the line he showed her that he is less of what she had in mind .. whatever that was so she stopped fucking him. Women will keep wanting to fuck you if you never “break” that idea that they have of you. She is fucking someone else or has that on her mind. OP’s lack of commitment to her along with his declining value in her eyes for whatever reason caused this. He obviously doesn’t want to date her and wanted to keep the status quo but you can’t if she is your #1 option. Either try to hold on to what you have best you can as long as you can and when the time comes know when to exit.
Point is your supposed to just get it, not have to speak it out loud (which op was kind of doing but also questioning himself). Women’s whole job is to figure out if you’re worth fucking or extracting resources and she did her job best she could. Women are good at this, better than we will ever be. Don’t kick yourself down OP for her being better at that … work on the things that matter for you and go from there and trust your own intuition.
First-light 2 9h ago
I anticipated someone saying something along the lines you have said when I posted that reply to the OP.
I think there are 2 main points I would make. Firstly, unless a guy is in a real surplus situation -star football player, rock star or such- he has usually invested a fair bit in a plate by the time he has been banging her for a couple of months. Even if he never spent a penny, he surely spent a lot of time. Its easy to be hurt by withdrawal of affection but an over quick decision to bin her is a waste of a large investment. She hasn't actually done anything wrong, so much as not done anything right for him. Maybe there is an issue. Say she is BPD, if this kind of thing is regular for her, he knows he just needs to back off, keep texting supportive and then when the depressive phase s over, she will be soaking his sheets again. She was a good plate. Unless you are sure she is broken, don't bin her too fast.
The second thing is that when people say "tenets of RP" I always get a bit worried. Religions have tenets, science has facts. RP is a world view not a PUA system. Not everyone fits into the boxes in a system. Perhaps 50:50, she is just a lots cause and he should move on. Maybe its only a 25% chance she is OK to keep but why waste her? Why play her by a rulebook not for what she is? He has said he will see her exclusively, so she is not a regular plate not and she is not a LTR, she is something in the middle. No one can sustain fantasy forever, he has to actually find out what makes this girl tick to know if she is worth the effort. If that effort is a few texts to re-assure her during an anxious phase that will pass and getting little sex for a few weeks, maybe she is worth it. Maybe its something else totally? Point is he will never know if he just plays her by a system.
dreams 8h ago
If you invest time into a plate then she’s not really a plate she’s your girlfriend. I wouldn’t count setting up a date, courting her a little bit as wasting a lot of time.
Go read the original Reddit TRP sidebar and come back. Those are the tenets and rules to follow by.
Nobody said to waste her. He needs to circle back when she has lost the idea of who he is and he can re-establish himself as the fantasy she had in her mind if he intends to keep fucking her with minimal investment.
I fuck girls and then circle back all the time later and if they want to fuck again great if not it’s okay.
Following rules is what is needed to succeed. Yeah some of it likely will be learned from first hand experience but the system or the rules are all encompassing. No one is special or can subvert them. There are rules that women’s hypergamous nature are ruled by.
Also, I already mentioned earlier in this thread that he should play it cool and respond to her texts with no anger and try to act like how he has been in the beginning while she finds out the other cock isn’t worth riding. But your suggesting to take her out and be direct with her makes no sense and is likely going to make it harder for him to get laid.
It’s akin to saying “here are all my cards, play them (and me) how you want to”
Of course she’s going to play you.
But if she can’t read what you’re thinking she’ll respect you and stay wet for you.
You can be direct and say “come over, let me hit it”, but directly giving your cards away by telling her how you feel and what your thinking about her is a no no. A girl wants to know that you can protect yourself and your information without giving it away freely. If she senses that you’re not easy, then she’ll respect you and want to fuck you. If you give it away that means you are weak and don’t have any other resource so you directly try to plead for her obedience.
lambOfGod 13h ago
Mature response.
Yes, she is BPD, she's been doing therapy for a year now. She told me she has 1 or 2 months where she feels very good and lovely and full of affection, then some months where she feels depressed, upset and intrusive thoughts about suicide.
For me, whenever the woman refuses or finds excuses for not having sex for more than 1 week, something is really, really fucking off. There is just no way around it. A girl who has genuine desire for you will never refuse sex for that long, specially since I am very good looking and know how to fuck her mind before too.
By the way, update, she tried to gaslight me into saying "I don't know what you're saying or what you want from me you're acting cold", when, in fact, she started acting cold and I acted cold back. It's done, she said that she won't have sex with me again and I said "cool".
Of course, this was a set up, because she is clearly seeing someone else. She be giving trash ass excuses to me when I tried to come over like "I have a presentation at work tomorrow and I want to rehearse tonight because it stresses me out" or saying that she can't that day and bullshit like that. Keep in mind all of this is happening while 3 weeks ago she wanted to have sex for 4 hours straight, always asking me for more, while I just had sex with her for 1 and a half hour cumming 3 times for me already, while she came and squirted at least 10-12 times her body shaking like a motherfucker.
dreams 10h ago
Mature = Long term bucket
If you want to fuck mature advice is bad advice.
Exactly, girl doesn’t fuck, watch her actions not her words.
(A girl literally told me she wants to see me again but said she won’t be free soon) aka I’m not priority #1 …so I watch what she’s doing not what she’s saying to me
They will fuck you like your the last man on earth but as soon as you destroy the fantasy she has built up in her mind about you she will put you in the relationship bucket
First-light 2 9h ago
"I don't know what you're saying or what you want from me you're acting cold", when, in fact, she started acting cold and I acted cold back. It's done, she said that she won't have sex with me again and I said "cool". Sorry to hear this. This is the outcome that is most annoying and frustrating. Its probably broken but you don't know why, when it was great before.
If you are sure its someone else, then it was always going that way but anxious unstable women can quite easily be turned right off by their own inner stress. When their stress then stresses you and you return that stress to them, they just bug out. They have done this many times before with other guys, (Rush headlong in, give it all, then panic that they can't give it all when a bit of stress arrives, so back right off. They are used to it melting down in your frustration and so they just bug out. They know how to capture a guy and they know they can replace you, so burning you is the easy option for a stressed out flaky girl who may well be easily turned by other guys anyway. Avoiding this gently can retain a dam good fair weather plate. In the end what these women lack is reliable guys who will take their shit and become men they actually trust who "get them". Becoming such a guy can end up with you owning a good plate who keeps coming back for a long time.
lambOfGod 8h ago
The thing is I already have girls on the back burner. I got laid tonight and I'm seeing one tomorrow. I don't know from where the actual fuck do these guys with oneitis come from. Investing in a plate that treats you well at first is not oneitis.
Anyway, I guess the only way this plate can be salvaged is if she reaches back first.
dreams 8h ago
It doesn’t necessarily mean that she was the only girl you are banging but if you’re fixated on her most likely you liked her the most or enjoyed her pussy the most and don’t like that she isn’t acting how you want her to.
Good on you for getting laid and trying to get it out of your head. It happens to us all.
ExConvictNowMillionaire 4h ago
No offense but you're talking like you're as experienced as Casanova by mentioning your plates & claim to not have oneitis. Yet you took the effort to dedicate a whole post to her. If you had no oneitis, it was an actual plate & you had multiple backups - then you would likely not even notice her coldness & wouldn't even think of revenge...
Anyway on topic: You're not insane she's doing this on purpose. Being passive agressive towards her doesn't work. Be stoic/go no contact or just drop the "plate" next time.
No-Stress-Cat 12h ago
Always remember the basics.
You're pushing when you should be pulling. Remember, it's like making out in the back seat of a car: You push. If she pushes back, push back harder. If she pulls back, pull back harder.