The last time we've seen each other, she suddenly wanted to break things off. This happens ocassionally, but the reason is always "You don't love me, I'm not important to you at all". I provide comfort in these moments and things continue as usual, she's submissive, initiating dates etc.
I went on vacation for 7 days and noticed her text less and less as days have gone by. Inb4 text only for logistics is bullshit if a girl is above plate level. It turned into just a few shared reels per day from her, and then she stopped altogether and replied to the occasional reel I sent with "hahaha" or something like that.
This honestly shook me as this never happened in a year and a half of knowing her, she's been bombarding me with messages from day one. I didn't overpursue but invited her to come over when I came back from the vacation. She agreed. Honestly this pullback has me a bit worried, though I recognize it might be a shittest. How to act in this situation going forward?
To answer the question, I think cancelling the date and softnexting for a while might be smart.
Dxmx99 3h ago
Does it matter when you have strong core principles, standards, and expectations?
Do you have those things?
If not, I'd start there.
She pulls away, you pull away twice.
"You don't love me, etc" She's reflecting and it's not going to matter what you do or say.
"Maybe you're right." "Could be the case."
You already don't like how she's treating you, sometimes comfort test passing isn't worth attempting. Sometimes you just need to stop giving a fuck altogether.
mattyanon Admin 1d ago
I don't 100% buy that she is being honest. This looks like beta bait to me. Pretending that you're not comforting her enough, but the reality is that she's not attracted enough.
When a woman is super attracted but lacks comfort, she won't be trying to end things. She isn't saying "it's over unless I get comfort", she says things more like "I really like you and I want to fuck you, but I'm a bit insecure about..." (obviously not quite in those words because female, but that sort of thing).
what the fuck is this sending reels shit.
Anyway.... she's withdrawing. Lack of attraciton, possibly she's interested in someone else.
Kloi 1d ago
It's what the kids and even grown as men do nowadays. They send each other videos instead of having actual conversation then reply to each other, lol same, omg right, wtf was that, lol...
My two old supervisors would basically sit at their desk for half the day, looking annoyed while sending each other clips. One's 27 and the other is into his 40s, 50s.
jackanon 1d ago
I had a taken girl chasing me text me this a few days after declining an invite. I deflected with amusement, a few days later she sends a picture of her life and I ignore it for a few days before casually replying. I noticed that she got colder after that. Was more comfort needed?
throwaway415 2d ago
shes not yours, its just your turn
First-light 1 2d ago
Sounds like it may not last forever but while it lasts enjoy. Why cancel? You might have a nice date and bang her good.
Don't simp out, over invest and chase what is not worth chasing but equally don't throw a plate away until it breaks unless maintenance is too much work.
What's the worst that can happen? She flakes or she goes on the date and it flops and she says she is done. OK at least then you know it is a broken plate not a plate you broke unneccessarily.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2d ago
Surefire sign you should probably move on. Unless you've done something catastrophically bad (which is often on its own a death knell) that you can repair, this statement is largely an indication she's mentally out.
If a woman is mentally out of your relationship she has either already physically moved on or is about to.
Look dude. Relationship game isn't the same as plate game. It's entirely possible to absolutely defile a woman and still have her think you care
It's a balancing act. As @MentORPHEUS would say, don't RedPill too close to the sun. You're not going to retain a relationship being an alpha giga Chad sigma oak fux all day
You shouldn't be getting nuclear comfort tests unless you are being so distant that she feels the need to say shit like that
Cancelling the date (unless you genuinely do not want to go on it) sounds like plate game. It sounds like you have jacked up your own relationship not understanding rapport
No-Stress-Cat 1d ago
For every plate the Plate Master successfully spins, there are 1,000 broken ones on the floor behind him.
MrSupreme 1d ago
A wise red pill phrase is: "Don't listen to her, look at what she does"
She is removing affection slowly, she is diminishing attention, she has the excuse that she warned you a few times before that she doesn't feel important.
It can be hard as hell to not develop feelings after 1 year, tough, and I understand this completely. But think of the lightswitch effect on how some of these girls can just go from 100 to 0 in just one minute, do you still feel like getting butthurt over getting your feelz hurt? If she is one of those girls, she won't take into account any of that, just bye bye and next to the next guy, who may or may not be already in her phone contacts.
Don't get butthurt cause I can tell you're a bit emotional when you say you wanna cancel. Don't cancel, go on your date and have fun,show her a great time and fuck her good, she might flake and keep that in mind but don't just give up on it like that. If you wanna tell her something about her disinterest in what you have then do it at the end, show your emotions, show you care but don't do it with frustration, bruised ego or angry.
Show her you mean to take her seriously(do you?) and that she needs to be in that 100% cause that's what she asked of you and you're delivering.
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