Been 2 weeks after breaking up with a FWB for about 8 months - No contact/Blocked everywhere (Cant lie, Im still butthurt about it, for some weird reason, even while seeing other women during it)
I continuously speak to and smash multiple women
I've seen it all from girls, such as cheating, sly behind there bf's, lying, many other red flags. Hearing and seeing all this, I've come to terms that I don't ever want to trust a female or spill too much with her about my life.
I've slept with around close to 100 girls, I feel so numb when meeting someone new. I feel like I attract hoes only
Has anyone had the sort of trust issues when it comes to females?
Problematic_Browser 1 1y ago
Never trust them.
Remember, briffaults law applies to them all.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
And you don't think there is a correlation here?
spartanblood1 1y ago
Your right, but AWALT.
Smashing hoes all the time, I cant even trust 'normal' girls these days. And the more important thing is where I meet these girls
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
You need to use your gut with normal or better women.
Never trust hoes. Yes AWALT but standard awalt is most pronounced in whores and sloots. Non sloots are still awalt but less egregious about it, especially if you have good frame and punish lies and reward truths
Always be on the lookout for trickle truths and shit not adding up. Again, punish lies. She needs to know it's not okay when she does it and that you have no issue walking away from that
[deleted] 1y ago
[--removed--]
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
Because funny
Y so serious
tecnotictoc 1y ago
Punish early, punish with smile on yer face, punish generously.
Make punishments to work for you, benefit you, make (some of) them long lasting for good memory effect.
Intrepid_Place53900 1 1y ago
answer is, you don't trust women.
If you meet one, have vetted her for quite awhile. You trust a bit, but there's always the "verify", that goes along with it.
You never 100% trust them
You have full access to their phone and such goes along with it.
Musicgoon78 3 1y ago
Trust is not given it's earned. My girl had to work super hard to gain her spot in my life.
Treat yourself as the prize and don't worry about women. Make sure you stick to your boundaries and expectations. A trustworthy girl will earn your trust. Most women aren't trustworthy in my opinion.
Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 1y ago
Most women are hoes. Hoes generally aren't worthy of trust or investment.
If you're fortunate enough to encounter a woman who earns your trust and who continuously proves herself worthy, you still follow up and verify so that you don't get blindsided (read up on the lightswitch effect).
I gave my wife every power of attorney imaginable to manage my affairs while I was in Iraq all three times. There was no Red Pill back then, but she had proven herself trustworthy while we were dating. She isn't perfect, of course, or I'd have never found the Red Pill, but she's shown herself trustworthy.
They exist. They're just rare.
MrSupreme 1y ago
What has worked for me is to trust what I know about them, everything my experiences with them have taught me.Intead of just saying AWALT. It doesn't have to be a positive thing,but you can't let your guard up. Trust that maybe you'll find a wonderful mother for your kids,trust that you'll find a great passionate lover
whytehorse2021 1y ago
Ya know I've had the exact same problem with every bar girl and prostitute I've ever been with.
financehardo420 Should i (x1) 1y ago
simple: you don’t.
sluts are going to always be in the bars n clubs. And tinder/online dating = sluts. I love hot sluts as much as the next guy (probably even more tbh) but you gotta know those are all recreational use only.
If the only women you meet are through bars/clubs/OLD no shit you’re only going to meet sluts. Sadly in today’s day and age the vast majority of women are sluts - “good girls” are a minority. You’ll probs find them living lifestyles that have ZERO intersection w bar/clubbing scene (ie 6-7am yoga sessions on Saturdays/Sundays. even stuff like that isn’t a guaranteed proof that she isn’t a slut but it’s a start. Best of luck pimp
EurasianChad 1 1y ago
It is wise to never fully trust a woman with anything. She can & will rat you out to her friends/new lover the moment you don't do things her way. Women absolutely thrive off drama and chaos, and if there is non, she WILL try to create some.
The only woman that you can fully love and trust has your best intentions in mind, no matter what, would be your mother (if she was a good one). So be grateful for her because you won't receive that unconditional love from a woman ever again.
There's a reason why you never spill your business to your woman. There's a reason why there are men's groups out there.
Always hold frame.
oowiw 1y ago
Given a long enough time frame AWALT, the “good ones” just die of old age first. You can’t change nature but you can have a pretty good run for a while - just ask Siegfried and Roy.
Nobody will be there for you indefinitely, even despite their best efforts and intentions nature has a thousand ways to take them away.
If it’s important to you to pretend you can trust someone then maybe therapy can help. But if you want to be realistic, you can’t even trust yourself. I haven’t figured out how to let go of the desire to trust, it has to be fought, like many of our unhealthy instincts. Coming here helps.
Lone_Ranger 3 1y ago
If you have slept with 100 girls, then you have slept with 100 hoes.
I'm not judging, but when there is great old saying;
"if you lay down with the dogs, you are gonna get fleas"
You say that you only 'attract hoes' - but that is the wrong way of looking at it - you only seek out hoes.
(I'm including @financehardo420 in this comment, because this is relevant to him as well)
The disadvantage of being a bar fly / slut chasing chad is that you end up totally burnt out. Promiscuity is just as damaging for men as it is for women.
What happens to women is that their ability to pair bond is destroyed.
What happens to men (that are promiscuous) is that there view of the world is destroyed - if the last 100 women that you had connections with all ended up in failure, then you believe that all connections end up in failure. If the last 100 women you were with were sluts (which they were), they you believe that all women are sluts. If the last 100 women that you were with shallow tingles seekers, then you will believe that is how all women are.
You are experiencing the trauma of a promiscuous life.
You need to detox and give yourself some self therapy (I do not recommend actual therapists).
Make your life bigger than it is right now. Reach out to family, see how you can help others. Become a good man.
Dunno brother - I'm not lecturing you - I'm in the same position as you. I spent far too long slut hunting and became burnt out because of it. I managed to save myself in the end, by reconnecting with my romantic self and living a good life.
It may not always work out. For example, my wife is leaving me. But... I can look myself in the mirror and say that I did what I could - I gave love, I experienced love and happiness within a couple. It may not always work out, but you should make sure that they way YOU lived life was good. You can't control others, you can only control what you do. It may be that others will cheat you, just make sure that you don't cheat others. It's about self respect.
Everyone is trying to avoid sadness and pain. This is wrong.
What they should be trying to avoid is emptiness.
tecnotictoc 1y ago
For most part Im with you.
Where I disagree
I didnt run any studies, but men do life by experience and maybe we can have one notch and be happy but its far from being damaged from 50 and very far from women after 50 notches. Being in second half of 100 I can say I know more, but have similar approach to women since beginning. But I ve always paid minimum respect to all people, inc slutty cheating women, including no backstabbing. IMO someone having no min respect for sluts wont have it elsewhere and is somehow damaged elsewhere. Altho it might be too much of digression.
Because one should believe in evidence coming from experience and act accordingly. You said it before, maybe the one should change patterns of looking for partners as exp could be confirmation bias.
Btw
AWALT is 'like that'. 'The same' was wording before. 'Like that' makes sense, as if women wouldn't be like that, we would not survive as species, but there is big variation, whuch I experienced myself being average Jo
spartanblood1 1y ago
It may not always work out. For example, my wife is leaving me. But... I can look myself in the mirror and say that I did what I could - I gave love, I experienced love and happiness within a couple. It may not always work out, but you should make sure that they way YOU lived life was good. You can't control others, you can only control what you do. It may be that others will cheat you, just make sure that you don't cheat others. It's about self respect.
This is so powerful bro. You realize after a breakup you were never in control of the outcome, and I think that's what hurts the most
Lone_Ranger 3 1y ago
thank you man. I wish you good things.
financehardo420 Should i (x1) 1y ago
Lone always coming in here with the wisdom.
I’m not going to say good girls don’t exist. I’ve dated one that I wanted to marry. I’ve had one or two that wanted to marry me. I had one in hs I’ve been keeping track of that’s still so pure and innocent to this day (she doesn’t go to bars/clubbing; does early morning yoga and fitness classes and 5ks n shit).
My dad’s told me more or less the same thing - the good girls you want to date aren’t in the bars. theyre in the library studying or in school clubs trying to get ahead in their careers etc etc.
I can’t possibly imagine how much pain itd be to be losing your wife; I can only remember how painful losing my oneitis was. I know I shouldn’t be avoiding sadness/pain but feeling detached feels safer rn.
Been working on cutting off the bars for more time spent on the purpose
Lone_Ranger 3 1y ago
Good for you man. Find your purpose. Help others. Forget about sluts.
Live the good life. The woman will come. Good women are attracted to the good life, easy women are attracted to the easy life.
financehardo420 Should i (x1) 1y ago
Build the garden and the butterflies will come
Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 1y ago
Butterflies are just pretty caterpillars.
Caterpillars destroy gardens.
financehardo420 Should i (x1) 1y ago
Fuck them caterpillars
mattyanon Admin 1y ago
Women can't be fully trusted, why bother?
First-light 1 1y ago
You can never be certain about trust. its a risk/ reward thing. Is it worth it? Women are harder to trust than men because their innate weakness and neediness makes them "just have to" do selfish things sometimes.
When we emotionally invest ourselves in someone who betrays us, its bound to hurt. You emotionally invested in a FWB. Its not unnatural to invest in a lover emotionally. What is more unnatural is to have a lot of casual lovers. Sex is meant to be a little more serious than than among humans, so some emotional investment may well happen.
If you have arrived at a point where experience is telling you not to trust sluts who casually bang players who casually bang a lot of sluts, you are probably right. You would need to recalibrate your experience on different material.
Lone_Ranger 3 1y ago
The most damaging myth in TRP is AWALT.
All sluts are the same, but not all women are the same.
Trouble is, when you are only attracted to sluts, then you will only ever experience sluts. And that is what is colouring your world view, that is why you are depressed.
Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 1y ago
It's not a myth, so much as a truism that is often misunderstood and misapplied.
"All guns are loaded" is advice on how to protect yourself, rather than an absolute fact to be taken literally. Same with AWALT.
Also, all women are hypergamous, but some make the conscious decision to reign that in, like how most men reign in our propensity for violence. Not all of them chase tingles and excitement, because their rational brain can overrule their instincts (though most sadly just run with instinct and impulse). A great example of this was from a comment I read or maybe a blurb within a blog post back before I knew what reddit was, and I think it may have been Dalrock's blog. The gist of it was that this couple was dating, and the man knew that the woman's celebrity crush was the drummer from a band they both liked. They saw the band in concert together for one of their dates, right around when they were starting to get serious about each other. The drummer invited the woman (and not the man) backstage, and she declined because she knew that she'd be just another fucktoy to him, and she wanted to keep the real thing she had with her then-boyfriend rather than throw it away just to be used and discarded the way most women would. They'd been married a few years as of when the comment or post was written.
I went into AWALT a bit in my post Don't Be A Red Pill Sperg:
take the warning in the phrase seriously, but don't take it literally.
Hugo_The_Great 1y ago
This is gospel. Yes, all women have the CAPACITY for hypergamy and being overly emotional. Lies, deceit etc.
But the rare self-actualized woman can override these 'lower level' instincts and be a productive member of society and faithful wife.
The women that I see as 'underdeveloped' (lots of them) cannot do this. They are pushed around by their instincts like a leaf in the wind. Most women can only do these things to an intermediate level.
What you want is an honest girl with integrity that prioritizes you and can think long-term.
Lone_Ranger 3 1y ago
Very good rebuttal. Appreciated.
I do understand the difference.
I wanted to point out to OP that he has a coloured view, because his sample population is not neutral.
if he has slept with 100 girls by his age, he must have only been with easy girls. He cannot have had 100 relationships!
People underestimate how distortions in sample population distort the data.