Hey people, so I quickly took down my old post and made it shorter for you guys.
I'm 19 and I'm still a virgin, never even kissed a girl. It's not like there haven't been girls interested in me; in fact, I've had multiple girls try to get with me since first grade, and even recently. I think what attracts most girls to me is my reputation, but I somehow rejected them all.
Right now, I'm in another country, and I’m trying to improve myself. There are a few women I know from high school (my classmates), whom my friend and I used to jokingly refer to as the 'trash group.' Three of them seem genuinely happy when I engage with them, yet most of the time, I treat them like literal 'trash' (lol). Despite this, they always seek my approval. For instance, sometimes when we meet, I'll hug one of them, but when the second one approaches with open arms, I'll ignore her or tell he to put her arms away. She still tries to gain my approval, remaining silent and submissive, almost as if she fears me. She’s also cute.
I find myself wanting to fuck two of them to gain experience but I'm hesitant, perhaps due to concerns about my reputation? (as i used to make fun of them), Or is it because I don’t have experience? or maybe it's something else entirely?… I don’t know… What should i do? How should I gain experience? Also everyone thinks I’m a player. But i’m just faking it.
I've recently started hitting the gym, and I’m respected. Still, when I run into old schoolmates who try to reconnect or people i know, I feel like my social skills aren't up to par, I don’t know how to keep the convo flowing. This is likely due to my overprotective upbringing and lack of freedom to explore. Most of the times when i meet new people (mostly people I respect) in my head imagine my self as a little kid (but in reality I’m 6’0) talking with a giant (literally) so I’m afraid to ask them questions about themselves? I’m taking some steps to improve this and I’m experimenting, but now the way I talk feels like I’m dismissing their idea and being arrogant. It’s hard to explain but i hope you got my point. So what should i do?
My new apartment mates are quite beta as fuck in comparison to my old friends. One of them, who is supposedly in a long-distance relationship, spends hours on the phone with his chick fantasizing about their future wedding and children. When I suggest going out, his response is always a flat refusal like 'kill me, I won't’. He’s socially awkward and he rarely leaves the house, spending his days on bed scrolling through social media for hours on end. My other apartment mate is similarly the fat beta guy you could ever find, perhaps even more so. He's a nice guy, though he has a habit of lying and insists that playing video games attracts women.
I feel like the drama and their passive attitudes are dragging me down, and I'm unsure of how to address this situation. Right now, I'm planning to gtfo. I'm making an effort and actively seeking to make new friends. How do you make new friends? What steps should I take, considering the language barrier?
I'm hoping for insightful responses rather than just one-line answers. I'm open to constructive criticism and detailed advice from the community. I genuinely want to grow and develop.
To the person who complained about my lengthy previous post, this is also for you.
Hanscheezburger 9mo ago
My advice to you is: Start being nice to the MEN around you. Help them with something, give them a compliment, strike a conversation and listen to their stories. You'll learn to get rid of your anxiety, and also learn a lot, especially from older men.
This gentleman, Mr. A (70 years old) owns a grocery store with his wife near my apartment. I went there to buy some snacks, complimented his birds. And we had a long talk about birds, even when I know nothing about them. It's mostly him explaining to me about the birds he keeps and their behaviors. Now whenever I go there, he gives me some freebies. His wife and children know me by name.
Another gentleman, Mr. B (about 60 plus), helped me when my scooter had a giant fuel leak under the tank. I had no tools to remove the tank and close the valve and didn't know what to do. Gasoline was pooling under the bike with nothing to stop it. He suddenly came with a hose and bucket and sucked all the gas out for me, even got some in his mouth, without asking anything in return. I bought him a gift as thanks and he invited me to dinner with his family, introduced me to his teenage son and told me about his prison time, his war stories (a war vet), and his history with women - pretty traditional macho man who has a clear moral compass very similar to TRP. He also taught me about fixing motorcycles and introduced me to his mechanic friends. Now I have drinks with him from time to time, and help his son with weight lifting and studying.
You'll see that approaching men is much easier than women, as long as you are nice and genuine. It will help you see that people are just people, everybody has their own story. And you lose nothing by asking them about it. It is the same for women. And like I said, not only can you get rid of your social anxiety this way, you learn a lot from other men, you have new friends, and you can even help somebody who is losing their way in this mad world.
TheRedPike Senior Endorsed 9mo ago
Maybe it’s a generational thing; it seems like younger men just don’t understand the vital importance of having your tribes. Not even just friends, but the men that you pack with in life. You know how I know it is super important? Married women will often do whatever they can to sabotage it and isolate their husbands.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 9mo ago
For starters. Ask them out or something if they are interested. Don't just let it go and lose the opportunity. Being scared to get experience is not a solution. Take them up on it next time..make plans, etc. do something. You can't get something from nothing start somewhere at least.
Who cares about your beta friends go make friends that are more like the kind of man you want to be. Beta friends will never help you become that man.
Again keep reading the sidebar. If you haven't fully read the side bar or rational male then the advice won't stick anyway. Trying to explain game or escalation etc to someone who hasn't read the required reading is a big ask to fulfill.
Start making plans with girls. If the mood is there just go for a kiss who gives a fuck if it's awkward or goes poorly you just need some exp unless it's very obvious she doesn't want it then of course don't try it
Thegoats 9mo ago
Thanks for the reply, And what about these?
Vermillion-Rx Admin 9mo ago
No problem
Thegoats 9mo ago
Thegoats 9mo ago
I just read your post about conversation skills (the one you linked) and it was exactly what I needed. I had already picked up some of the things you mentioned naturally, but I appreciate you sharing the rest, as it would have taken me a long time to figure them out on my own. I also realized I was being an askhole, so please ignore questions 2-3-4. What’s your opinion on num 1? (… my worry is wouldn't I seem desperate?) I’m asking this because right now this girl, which has a higher SMV, is flirting with me and I wanted to have some experience before escalating … keep in mind they know each other
Vermillion-Rx Admin 9mo ago
If they like you why would you seem desperate? Just make plans. Don't overthink basic shit.
You're not off to a good start on your RP journey if you're going to be paralyzed and mentally hamstrug over "she likes me is it beta to go for her?" Type questions
mattyanon Admin 9mo ago
Hi OP,
Nice nick.
Totally fine, normal, doesn't matter. You'll make up for it later, but let's see if we can help get you there.
Hilarious.
Well you're right that this is all a journey.
Question for you...... you talk about "getting experience", but what do you WANT ?
Well, you're clearly very analytical. That's great but can lead to overthinking. As regards conversation flowing: just talk about random things that you're doing that interest you until something sticks.
Friends don't ask questions for the most part, they talk about stuff. Asking questions feels interviewy, so learn to talk more about yourself. When they talk, THEN you show interest and ask follow up questions, but you don't start by asking them stuff
You need better housemates...... but really, who cares. Let them do you. You need to find what works for YOU.
Rise above it, do your own thing, and ultimately meet better people to live with.
See my blog post on making new friends.
Haha nice.
Thegoats 9mo ago
Hey! thanks for the reply. Can you send me the link?
mattyanon Admin 9mo ago
https://www.trp.red/p/mattyanon/1035
https://www.trp.red/p/mattyanon/779
Shout if the links don't work
Thegoats 9mo ago
Thanks boss
Thegoats 9mo ago
being sexually active ;)
mattyanon Admin 9mo ago
Ok.
So the girls you're going to be fucking...... are they coming from your social circle or elsewhere?
Pros and cons of each, but you need to decide if you're going to pursue girls you know or find girls unconnected to your social life.
So, which is it?
Thegoats 9mo ago
They’re very close to my social circle
mattyanon Admin 9mo ago
Ok.
Pros and cons to this. Girls in your social circle are the easiest to get (if you have reasonable social status, which you probably do).
The cons are what happens when it goes wrong...... you try to fuck them, it doesn't work..... or you date, and then how to handle it afterwards.
Ok, so you want to bang girls in your social circle....... what's the next step?
Thegoats 9mo ago
Very interesting.
What do you suggest?
Same question, what do you suggest?
mattyanon Admin 9mo ago
if you're fucking girls in your social circle, there are two golden rules: don't stick your dick in crazy, and be honest with them.
this is harder than it sounds: the crazy ones want to fuck you, and girls almost always try to get commitment in exchange for sex, even retrospectively, and can get very very bitter if this doesn't work as they want it to work. There is massive temptation not to tell them that you don't intend to be their boyfriend.
so yes, that...... avoid crazy, be honest about your intentions. Just "not having the talk" is usually not enough because girls like to socially obligate you to commit ...... "we had sex and now that bastard won't be my boyfriend".
two solutions to this...... one is to outright tell them, before sex, that this will not lead to commitment. This will lose you 50% of girls. The other is to very strongly imply this is the case by making it clear you fuck other women and will continue to do so, something you'll find hard to pull off if it's not true. You can also do this by not committing to dates, being vague about future plans, etc etc..... but again there is an art to this that's not totally obvious how to do.
rape accusations are extremely unlikely if you are at least somewhat clear about what you want and what you do and if she's not crazy. However bad mouthing you to your social circle after the relationship ends is extremely common.
ok, all that being said.....
next step is to isolate them. That means her and you being alone together. Doesn't have to be an agreed date. Easiest way is to line something up and invite her along.
Two ways.
"I am going to this awesome live music place tomorrow night, there's some cool local bands playing.... do you like XXX type of music?" (she'll say that she is if she likes you)...... "yeah, cool.... so I'm going there..... hey, you seem to like XXX music, would you like to join me?"
Or, if you can't line something up......
"You're fun, we should do XXX thing sometime". It's very very easy to proceed forwards with this if interested, and easy to carry on talking about whatever if she's not. If she's keen, set up a day..... then exchange numbers to "keep in touch nearer the time". MAKE SURE TO CONFIRM BY TEXT. And on the day, you simply change the time or venue or something as a way to gauge her interest without having to ask for confirmation.
redhawkes 2 9mo ago
You need experience, reading won't do jack if you don't use it. It's common to fall in the "Im not ready" trap. You'll never be ready. You won't get good at basketball by watching NBA.
Use some plausible deniability and fuck those hoes. Your reputation means nothing, especially if you're virgin noob. It's your ego that prevents you to do it.
You also suffer from inferiority complex and have imposter syndrome. Those people you pedestalize don't give a fuck about you. If you pedestalize someone, they don't have any other option but look down on you. Treat them like they're lower than you and don't take shit from anyone. Only then, your overthinking will subside.
Stay away from betas, they'll throw you under a bus in a whiff of pussy. You're the company you keep. As for now, treat them like a furniture, polite indifference. Meanwhile, make friends with guys in the gym or some hobbies who are on the same mindset and level. Such a people are hard to find, but they exist. You need charisma + confidence (game) to befriend people. You won't click with everyone, but the idea is to develop the ability to talk to everyone.
Last, no one's gonna give you anything, you need to get it yourself. Don't become an askhole and use this forum as an incubator. You'll get stuck into endless mental masturbation loop. It's all been said before. No one is gonna hold your hand and coddle your balls.
https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP
https://archive.li/7G5t9
Book Of Pook
On the main sub, sort posts by top and read the top 500.
This is your homework for the next 8 months, plus the gym. Meanwhile, isolate the hoes and smash. Best case scenario, free preselection if she talks around. The more bitches you get, the more bitches you'll get.
Overkill_Engine 2 9mo ago
@thegoats
I just want to emphasize this part even further. TRP isn't a paint by number guide that will prevent you from ever failing on your path to INFINITE PUSSY ZOMG. So don't treat it like one. Doing so guarantees failure. What it does have is how to learn from failure, how to avoid failures that are avoidable, and minimize the impact of the unavoidable while you seek improvement. Do the work, there are only shortcuts to failure.
Thegoats 9mo ago
I’m 100% with you.
You’re correct, I was experiencing imposter syndrome and I was unaware of it. This is precisely what I was seeking. for. I was curious about the reasons behind my actions, and now that I’m aware of them, I can work on changing them.
Yep, they’ll also influence you if you spend your time with them.
Right!
It’s a nice book. I was already reading it and I’m about halfway trough.
Which sub?
Also, thanks for the advice boss
redhawkes 2 9mo ago
On the topic from the OGs:
https://archive.is/AZOf2 https://archive.is/VtcMg
Also, check out Psycho Cybernetcs by Maxwell Maltz (the original one)
https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/top/?sort=top&t=all
This is the core of TRP. Every retard you see on youtube/ig/tiktok that shills RP courses is recycling his content from there. Already sorted by top.
Finding this sub at 19 is like having cheat codes. Don't fuck it up.
First-light 9mo ago
You are ready when you decide you are ready.
You usually have to ask a girl to find out if she is interested. This can feel very hard to do because you don't want the failure on your card (both for the world to see and for you to remember) but it still has to happen if you want to get with her. Not making a big deal of it will make it a lot easier. Try to sound her out first. You can always ask her friend. This either makes for things being a bit embarrassing if the answer is "Oh Yuk no" or it excites her to think you might like her and thinking about it can fan the flames of attraction. Then you ask her.
Women like to be courted by strong successful generous men. All parts of this sentence are true. Putting women down to show you are bigger than them is not courting. Taking them out, to dinner in smart clothes, speaking to waiters confidently but politely and leaving a tip to show your success and generosity would do you much better. As would much simpler and cheaper bringing her a chocolate bar in the morning every day and asking how her mother is. But before you waste your energy and resources doing this sort of thing, find out if they are interested by asking them. Otherwise you run the risk of a humiliating relegation to the friend zone of losers who don't make the grade but who provide free food and probably move and repair things too.
PUA crap will work if you hit a large number of women and if you practise it a lot. It tends to lead only to short term results and tends to usually work with the trashier trampier types. In your case with these women I would say "Don't crap where you eat" You know these women, they know your friends. If they are interested then go for it, if not ask them for some tips to get a girl. Personally I would leave PUA crap to guys who are either addicted to the thrill of casual sex or are desperate losers. Its best to be neither of these.
redhawkes 2 9mo ago
My sides are in orbit lmaoo
The only tip he'll get is dick tip.
Thegoats 9mo ago
I know right bruh looolll
dongking 9mo ago
Bro is on the wrong forum. Save the bluepill BS for reddit.
https://twitter.com/allreactionvidz/status/1272988247824699393
Thegoats 9mo ago
Made me question the forum i was in
Thegoats 9mo ago
Thanks for the advice, but i’d have to strongly disagree with some of the things you just said. I’ll reply later in detail when i have some free time.
First-light 9mo ago
I look forward to your reply.
To give context to some of the things I wrote, I was writing to someone who said he had literally no experience. I was trying to help him make a start, to avoid an embarrassing attempt that might leave him less confident.
The red pill is an understanding of the reality of the world and of women and men, it does not necessarily make you a PUA but it could. I was never a PUA but for over a decade I always had at least 2 women I was sleeping with on the go. It was exhausting. Being a PUA and/or gaming women is usually a phase younger men go through. Its not bad in itself but it usually wears off as it requires putting on a performance and its tiring and you want to be yourself at some point and not be acting what they want you to be. So I am not blue pill but I am not a PUA and I am retired from playing games -which to be honest only give so much satisfaction.
I was writing to someone who said he was brand new to women. All this gaming women is, like most games, best played by experienced players. If you want to be a player you have to first learn to hit the ball, then worry about all the tactics, first just learn to hit the ball. You will do this best by getting your hands on a girl and dealing with the dynamic of getting your desires and hers to meet. If you do this in the light of the red pill you will be way safer and more successful than if you dive in like a blue pill beta and promise to be her white knight forever in return for occasional hole access.
Now start by thinking "what do girls want?" What they want is a smooth interaction with a strong, kind blue pill beta or they want a smooth seduction from a blue pill Alpha who makes it all easy for them to do what they already want to do and bang him but either way those are the two things they want. They want the blue pill guy, the red pill guy is not their first choice. If you are not a natural Chad (and you and they would know by now if you were), playing beta type to girls you know and who know your friends is a lot safer than trying to act like a chad when you have no experience. They know you, they know you are no natural Alpha type, your friends know them, its a recipe for embarrassment.
You only have to fake it. I am not saying be a beta (why would anyone want to do that), just act like one if you want to approach these girls who already know you are no Chad. Get what you want (a first experience) and then with your red pill glasses on don't sign on for being Beta, just keep them as a plate or move on.
Now if you want to play at impersonating Chad -the natural Alpha type they put out for easily- you are in a foreign country. Its a perfect place to experiment. You will not be seeing these foreign girls again. They will accept a bit of awkwardness and your not being a classic Pablo or Tyrone or whatever the local Chad is supposed to be called as a you are foreign. Women are always attracted to the stranger... This is better territory for trying out all that game stuff you have read about.
But I come back to if you want to learn to play the game, first hit a ball a lot. If you came to me wanting to learn to hunt, I would say stop reading books, get out in the woods, read the signs and learn how deer think then let's get you an easy shot at a deer. If that easy shot is a classic boring shot from a high seat like all the boring guys who are bad hunters take, so much the better. You won't be nervous about missing your first deer again.
Anyway that is where I was coming from.
Thegoats 9mo ago
Hi, i was writing a very very detailed and long answer but it somehow glitched and disappeared. So I’ll make it short and mean.
This is some elementary school shit. Why would i ask her friend? Wouldn’t that imply that I’m not confident enough and scared of rejections? Why would she even say yuk? If you think that she’s gonna say yuk then there’s a problem with you.
How old are you man? 85?
Read the sidebar (no pun intended). This is the most absurd blue bill statement, you reminded me of my beta roommate (he’s always providing but never fucking). You are confused. Why would i even provide chocolates to her mother if I’m not gonna bang her mom lol? No but for real, this is humiliation.
I won’t ask them shit, but you can tho, but not me. These are the answers that you’re gonna get: “Treat her like a queen” “buy her some chocolates” etc…
Then I’m going to practice it. Why would I limit myself?
Ok man, I think you are lost. I’ll be waiting for your reply.
First-light 8mo ago
Sorry only just checked back. Some girls do say yuk and if you think that is impossible, then you are not being realistic. One needs to see reality not some Alpha fairy tale. Of course we hope not but women are choosy and I can't think of any man on earth who is not a turn off to some type of woman. Its a small point but if I don't pick you up on it, you are missing an important part of your education. You have to see reality before you can make the best moves. Thinking I can be so Alpha as to make my own reality is a big error. You want to try to control your destiny but you never will entirely. Self knowledge comes in here, where you can push through and where the world will slap you back down.
As to why would you talk to her friend, its an option to sow seeds. Its not the only way and it does not imply you are afraid of rejection. I have seen it happen a lot. The seed is sown and the girl who had not thought about the guy that way before starts to warm up to him. It spins her hamster wheel some. Not everything has to be a cold sales call. You can do ground work. But you don't have to. And salesmen will usually tell you that you get more success when there has been some ground work. Plant seeds where you can. Just a smile across a crowded room might pay off a year later. Women remember compliments and compliments often come over more genuine second hand. "My friend thinks you are hot" is a big compliment). Sorry if you think that's blue pill but its also true. Truth is essential to not being blue pill. Being a massive simp who hands out compliments like toilet paper and can't ask a girl to her face is not going to help but a genuine compliment or two in the right place is very helpful before you then ask her.
I am a good deal older than you and seen enough to know that books on how to pick up girls are not as important as the dynamic of courtship. If it was as easy as reading rep pill books don't you think the world would be a bit different? There is no secret formula, just good ideas and experience. I was giving you some ideas, I thought you might not have tried form the sound of your writing. There is nothing that says you have to listen to older men but it is best not to be rude in declining advice. Politeness costs little. True with women that too.
Girls might say those things if you ask them how you could do better with women but if you are lucky they might tell you a hard truth or two about how you come across. I don't know you but we all have some things that are not so desirable about us. Swallow that bitter pill and improve.
No reason on earth to limit yourself. Go and give it a bash and good luck. I am just saying pushy cold sales tactics are a numbers game and such tactics are actually costing you chances if you already have leads and relationships with people. The best salesmen like people, take an interest in them and sell a good product, aiming to avoid buyer's remorse. Why would they value themselves so little to sell a crap one? Be a good product not just something in a shiny wrapper. Treating people politely is one way you can do this. You can be assertive and not take crap but don't give it out unless you need to.
ObliviousDuck 9mo ago
Why did you call them 'trash'? Was it because they were genuinely trash or as autorejection?
If it was autorejection, what were you scared of? Rejection? Intimacy? Not being ready? That they'll figure out you're a virgin? Performance anxiety? Not being a nice guy? Shame of your masculinity?
If it was autorejection at the time, what's preventing you from realising you were wrong about them, change your mind and fuck them?
Thegoats 9mo ago
Not autorejection, let’s be honest, they’re not that great compared to the current SMV i hold ( i finished high school a couple of months ago and they where my classmates). My fear is that if I escalate with them I’d look desperate. They’re not that cute tho compared to the women that used to hit on me. Currently there is one chik with a much higher SMV that is flirting with me (let’s call her A) and before I escalate with her i wanted to have some experience. (Even A used to go to my school, and they know each other). My beta room mate tried with both and they straight up rejected him.
But yeah basically I don’t want (A) or people to figure out that I’m inexperienced. I can escalate with them but as I said before, wouldn’t i seem desperate?
ObliviousDuck 9mo ago
A good rule is to never go for anyone lower than 5.
5s are ok to get a bit of experience and the occasional BJ and release but not much more. The fun starts at 6 and higher.
What is a 5 is your own personal opinion but make sure you stay honest with yourself and get rid of any rejection buffer that can skew your judgment in one way or another.
Thegoats 9mo ago
Noted