Hey guys, sorry for spamming this section lately with shitty questions. I’m very conflicted.
So it seems like because I’m still attached to my one-itis, it’s making things really difficult to meet women and go through the barrier. For some reason I’m not getting many likes on tinder; but even then, I got a match today with a chick REALLY interested in me, to the point where I thought she was a catfish. She asked me if I’m looking for a trophy chick and she was genuinely attractive so it was just unbelievable. I had to FaceTime her just to make sure lmao.
The thing is, now that she’s interested me, I feel like I’ve won the game. I completely lose any fucking desire to actually pursue or meet up with her. This is exactly what happened with my one-Itis which I deeply regret. I stopped pursuing her once the ball was in my park, and even though it’s made me “attractive” to women in the past, I completely ghost them to the point where they just next. All my life I’ve had 0 desire to actually fuck. Non existent libido even though I lift and eat mostly protein; I still actually struggle to understand it.
Why the fuck is it that when a woman is genuinely interested in me, I lose ALL attraction for her? I’m genuinely holding back MYSELF from losing my virginity. Is this some kind of mental illness? Or is this normal? I’ve went on a couple dates in my life and it’s been really unenjoyable every time to the point where I thought I was gay. I remember going to the movie theatre with a girl when I was 12, and while she had her shoulder on me, the entire time I thought “I want to get the fuck out of here”
Any word of advice? Is this just a pussy defence mechanism?