I started talking to a girl on a dating app, she’s quite a bit younger than me. After a bit, we moved the convo to Snapchat and talked for about two weeks. Since she lives a bit farther away, I couldn't set up a date right away. During that time, we flirted a lot, had some banter, and did some sexting.
Eventually, when I had free time, I planned a trip to her hometown. I booked a daytime hotel and told her about the plan. She was on board but said, "We're not doing much on the first time meeting each other though." I treated it like a shit test, agreed, and amplified it by saying I wouldn’t even let her get too close to me.
But once we got to the hotel, not even five minutes in, we ended up having sex. We talked, had sex again before checkout, then went out for food together. I complimented her afterward, treated her to meals, but didn’t show too much investment. I’m not sure what she thinks of this though. She calls me “baby” and uses other pet names even though we haven’t talked about dating. She told her friends about our “cute date.”
Now I’m going near her hometown again for another trip and planning to meet her during one of those days. I’ll be staying at a hotel with some friends, but I invited her to hang out and told her I could ask them to leave for a few hours. She said, “No, we can just hang out and do something fun this time.” I suggested we could do both, and she asked, “What if your friends come back?” I reassured her they wouldn’t until I asked, but she still seemed hesitant.
Overall she's a very fun girl, submissive and good company.
I’m trying to figure out if this is another shit test, like before where she doesn’t want to seem like she’s planning for sex, but still wants it — or if she actually wants more commitment and real dates now. Or even if she didn't enjoy the sex, which I don't think so because she asked me how many times she finished during our last round because she doesn't remember. I do compliment her when she sends pictures in outfits so maybe I'm overdoing it. It could also be the fact that she's young and catching feeling already?
Should I make her chase for a bit now and make her want me?
Musicgoon78 3 2mo ago
This is severe overthink. She already fucked you. She will fuck you again. This has nothing to do with how submissive she is or these half baked theories you have. This isn't a shit test. You did nothing wrong. This is just part of the game. She's going to play the innocent girl, not interested in sex. And you're going to be the charming guy that was so irresistible that things"just happened".
Now stop being a sperg and creating problems for yourself. Go have fun with her and fuck her senseless.
No-Stress-Cat 2mo ago
It's not a shit test. You're just not giving her plausible deniability.
I wouldn't mention the friends would be leaving. That automatically says, "My friends will be leaving so that we can have sex" instead of "My friends just happened to have left and here we are just us two by ourselves."
That gives her plausible deniability, "Well I didn't know they were going to leave, and things just happened." If you take the possibility off the table from her perspective, things always end up "just happening".
universitythrowaway Should i (x1) 2mo ago
You're right, I guess I underestimated how much plausible deniability I need to give after already establishing a plate type relationship with her. I already know the basics like ASD and plausible deniability so it was straightforward for the first date.
First-light 2 2mo ago
There is nothing to make one think you won't get sex. Women rarely like to be on a promise of sex because then they can't back out if they are just not feeling like it. (which happens to them even with their best intentions and a hot guy once in a while). Unless her life is a real mess and she is stressed out like crazy, she will feel like it when she is relaxed and the already proven chemistry between you gets going. I would take her out somewhere too though as in the long term you want her to think a time with you is good fun whatever. Then you will keep getting casual sex when you meet her.
universitythrowaway Should i (x1) 2mo ago
After our date, she talked about how much she enjoyed the sex and some specific things we did during it, so I assumed she wouldn’t have an issue coming over again, knowing it was for that reason.
I'm on a tight schedule, so I wanted to sort out the logistics early on which is why I was direct about when the hotel room would be available. But I'll have to frame it as another activity and make it seem like it just happened in her head.
Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 2mo ago
It wasn't a shit test so much as ASD, but you handled it well.
She'd press for that, if that were the case. And it's way too soon to press for commitment.
If she didn't enjoy the sex, she most likely just wouldn't bother seeing you again.
You're overthinking this. Relax. Have fun. You handled your first encounter quite well from what it says in here, so relax.
A) it seems she does want you, but like @No-Stress-Cat said, you need to give her plausible deniability. A way for things to "just happen, tee-hee!"
B) that's one "should I?" Tag @Vermillion-Rx
universitythrowaway Should i (x1) 2mo ago
Hey, appreciate the feedback from you and everyone else. It seems obvious yes, I was just confused as a lot of posters here talk about after the first date sex you can just set up a date to "hang out" or invite her straight to your place. It's worked before for me as well but I've never had this scenario before.
Side note: I’ve put in effort to ask quality questions here and respect the spirit of the rules. I get that the wording of my post had a “should I” tone, but the intent wasn’t to ask for permission on a basic decision. It was more about breaking down the dynamics at play, interpreting her signals, and whether this is a shift in frame or just another test. Would appreciate if you can consider it without the last sentence of the post @Vermillion-Rx
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2mo ago
Done
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2mo ago
Consequences of asking basic should i questions in AskTRP