10 months or 10 years, they show their colors. Shes testing water with another potential mate. Or playing u to get a commitment. If ur smart u will not be a beta and keep calling. Id move on. She has an agenda. Find out what it is. Wade through her lies.

I don’t know if it’s worthy of leaving a 10 year relationship.

I wouldn’t contact her at all and wait for her to contact you.

If they act up, withdraw attention

Go there and confront her.

Pending satisfactory explanation, she is no longer your girlfriend. You do not have to start looking for replacements immediately, but you have to be open to the idea of dumping her unless she proves to you that what she did was rational and logical. If not, she gets demoted or nexted.

Zero contact for the remainder of her time away. Be out with friends the day/evening that she is due to return home. When you do finally meet face to face, then she needs to explain her actions.

If she cheated or not is important but not really the most important thing in this case. Obviously if she did then fuck-it-drive-on.

Putting that issue aside for a minute...If you have been together for 10 years and she doesn't have a good explanation for why she couldn't have the common courtesy and RESPECT for you to check in periodically (as is normal in any LTR) then she is not worthy of you or any other man. Tough call considering how much time you have invested. If you accept the behavior and take her back (regardless of the fidelity question) then she has set the precedent that you are the bitch in the relationship. If you don't accept it then your current lifestyle is monumentally changed since you likely share a residence and associated expenses. While the cohabitation thing should not matter in this or any situation, the reality is that it does. Thus why you don't let a woman move in. The only real power that you as a man has in any relationship is the ability to walk the fuck away...immediately.

Yo bro when a girlfriend who normally answers texts and is hyper eager to talk on the phone acts unusual and disappears, then theres definitely shit going down.

Let me tell you from experience. Whenever i am with a girl and the relationship is relatively new or its a one night stand, the common occurrence is both of us not taking calls. Mostly because we fuck a lot and then are really tired so no energy to talk to. Second i don't want my parents and neither does she to find something off with her or my behavior.

Something was definitely going down. No normal person disappears for days on end. If she doesn't explain she has to go. You can never trust her again. And you don't wanna find out that she cheated in your 50s. Self preservation is paramount right now. Go hardcore. (being drunk doesn't count) (she's also being shady by not calling and only texting) (she's also not suffering from any dread at all since she should have called you when you didn't respond to the last msg)

Maybe she lost her phone. Maybe she's dealing with the aftermath of a suicide. Maybe she shut her phone up to deal with the people immediately surrounding her. Do you even know how much shit has to be done after a person dies? Funeral, wake, death records, bank crap, insurance, etc. It's pretty monumental, especially when it's a sudden death and nothing has been planned.

Your gut picks up on so much more than our concious brain allows.

Your gut is seeing patterns that are pointing towards a horrible possibility. This is called instinct and we have this to protect ourselves.

So gf cousin has history of being a slut. Furthermore will likely fall back on old patterns under stress. Smokers quit and then start again under stress. As do drinkers. As do smack heads. Gfs cousin uses sex to feel good. After suicide she feels bad and needs to feel good. Therefore its a good possibility she wants dick.

Girls love to share experiences and life happens to them if they let it. In contrast to men being do'ers, women chose what advances to accept. There is alot of factors that go into this....how do i feel, do i want to feel good, how do i feel about my bf right now, am i caught up in the moment, am i under pressure to share experiences with my cousin/besty, am i away from people that would catch me cheating.

This is why we judge women by the company they keep as they are exposed and pressured to act on impulse. Your cousin could also instill fear of missing out cos cock is amazing to her and your gf has only had one.

Women can also rewrite their own truth based on feelings. I felt good, therefore it was right. My bf was distant and forced me to do this.

So you're right to be concerned as the table is set for her to be disloyal.

The next question is, did she?....well you'll never know and will need to look for patterns/tells.

You're describing a change in her behaviour. If she is feeling good at your expense (cheating) she needs to distance herself from you, otherwise that would make the good feelings (out with cousin/ getting hit on/getting railed) feel bad.

If you were her number one thought, shed be saying im out with slutty cousin, she wants to drag me here and i cba. Instead youve been demoted. Actually, even worse, you've been out of sight and out of mind.

Day after could be a hang over, busy or full of guilt. If i had to bet my bottom dollar shes cheated on some level.

As shes only been in one relationship and not cheated before, she will break down very easily when she recognises what shes put at risk. She isnt conditioned to cheat in secret like most women are. Theyre ruthless.

I wouldnt be suprised if she comes home acts different, would rather unpack than hug you and will get upset over simple things like a hug. Youll then get trickle down truth....i got hit on, ok i kissed a guy, ok i just sucked him off so it doesnt count as it wasnt piv, ok it was sex but only because you made me through ignoring me.

I hope its none of the above but ive been there and seen it happen over and over again its predictable now.

Even if it didnt happen, make sure you are fully aware that it can at any time and its just your turn. Theres sunken cost fallacy in you as 10 years is alot to give up on. So if she has cheated, you need to decide if thats a line she cant uncross and can never be your gf. If she has cheated, you cant give her a free pass just because its 10 years down the drain. Women dont offer men the same....you're only valuable to them now or in the future. Past investment doesnt mean shit. Dont make the mistake of affording her what wont be given back.

Wish you the best of luck on this one.

10yrs, usually responsive and first time being this way; so much so that u were actually concerned. Then u finally get in contact and she says she “mentally checked out” the lost phone thing was somewhat proven by you calling etc. From my experience, I had a gf that would give me those “I mentally checked out” “I had a flashback” etc turns out she was cheating on me the whole time and was a pathological liar. If it was me, relationship is done.