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[deleted] 7y ago
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Subtletorious 7y ago
From your description, it reads like you did everything correctly. She wanted to dance and make-out with a guy but didn't want to go further. She gave you two polite refusals - it was good that you didn't automatically accept the first one. Happens sometimes.
EDIT: I notice she actually gave you three refusals (the "I have a boyfriend" line). Which may or may not be true.
You haven't burnt any bridges. The only suggestion I have if things heat up again, invite her over to your dorm room to look at your rock collection (or whatever) to give her more plausible deniability. Her room implies she is the initiator, but your room is "just something that happened".
WARNING: If you are on a USA or Canadian campus, do not do any of this if she has consumed any significant amount of alcohol. The new rules are that women are children and can not make rational decisions when consuming alcohol.
Moreofmore 7y ago
I'd like to ask how you guys go around finding mentors. I want to find older guys to teach me for business, life, advice, etc.
shortnstrong 7y ago
Long time lurker but this is something I've been struggling with.
A bit of background is I'm a 30 year old male, single, no kids, work a regular production job which i have been at for 5 years. I have been lifting regularly for the past 18 month and I'm fairly satisfied with my physique.
I'm going to tech school for IT but current work schedule didn't allow for it this quarter and I'm looking for a new job atm. I also breakdance which is my creative outlet and is part of who I am.
My question is how do you see yourself as "the shit". Especially when dealing with new people. I did take up uber driving to improve my social skills but the results feel marginal.
I mean in my head, everything works out great and I get that sense of satisfaction and well being in my chest but when it comes to new people, especially women, I fall flat.
Also my shitty past involving weed, a crap on and off relationship, and poor decisions overall kinda haunts me when I talk to new people as well. Thanks for any help.
CaffineAddictNYC 7y ago
Hey, kind of made a mistake holding my frame with a new girl. Basically, I met her on a train so we got to hangout for like two or three hours and that went great (kino, shit tests passed, she gave me her number and told me when she would be free the next weekend, strong IOI). My texting game WAS on point, waited a few days to text her, only texted her to ask her out. On like the third text, when I actually asked her out, I was pretty fucking hammered on a different train and also sent a selfie with my younger sticking out. Idk why lol, I immediately realized my mistake after hitting send. The next morning I played it off like it was funny and told her my boss had got me drunk. Still no reply. This was on Tuesday night/Wednesday morning. How should I proceed?
I would simply move on, but she's pretty hot.
Doxatek 7y ago
Any pointers for starting, maintaining and escalating a Tinder conversation?Also how to convey that you're interesting enough to maintain contact with.
Subtletorious 7y ago
You don't want to maintain contact. You want to get the interaction into the real world asap. There are lots of Tinder threads - use the search function.
do_it_or_leave 7y ago
I come with a personal question for you fellow TRPers, what social activities do you do? What are you good at? Who is your demography?
Recent posts with a strong "Demography" or "Producing vs Consuming hobbies" messages have made the top of the sub, along with my reading on Models on the chapters about about Honesty Living made me realize this is my greatest weekness and I am looking for something I can enjoy, be good at and be a leader/organizer.
Until now my main hobby is gaming, but it is not fun as it were before and to be honest lifting is more important to me than gaming. Lifting gives me an all round boost, but I see that unless i get into juice or make it my job it will not be an activity where I can go and meet people/be social. I went out and did some things like parachuting, paragliding, indoor hiking and indoor hiking were the most fun and most affordable thing I found until now and would really enjoy more ideas of fun things I could do.
Thanks!
tall_bacon 7y ago
What is the most effective way to handle beta men within a social group who seek attention from women through making alpha types look bad?
nickbfromct 7y ago
what are they actually doing to try and make you look bad specifically?
tall_bacon 7y ago
They try to:
Betas are walking cock blocks. They annoy women or distract them, while getting nothing themselves, and I wish I knew how to directly or indirectly deal with them.
Do I relocate with the woman? Do I smartly confront or intellectually trip up the beta somehow? Combination?
takethedive 7y ago
Look up the video of Matthew McConaughey telling the "motorcycle story" on a talk show. He does a great job of this. He opens his story with a little dialogue about his childhood drinking beer and riding bikes, which leads one of the other guests to imterrupt with "See, we basically had the same life!" -- self-deprecating for the audience, since this guy looked like a BB head to toe.
Matthew cocked one eye towards him lazily, and drawled "You gettin' laid?", continued to stare him down blankly as the audience laughed (veiled as "keeping up the joke") and went back to his story.
It was a sort of lazy dominance veiled as a joke, the same way a woman will say "Oh, I love how you just wear anything" when casting a passive-aggressive insult. I don't think it quite qualifies as powertalk, but it's close.
Remember, the king doesn't actively get upset or fazed when his subordinates are being dumbasses. He lets them do their own thing and fuck up, he's not a babysitter. But when one of them actively tries to take him on by interfering with or sabotaging him, he puts them in their place -- and doing it effortlessly will subcommunicate to them that they're so low on the totem pole that they weren't worth an emotional reaction. Enough of this and they'll behave that way unprompted.
Nothing a beta male likes more than talking shit about authority -- and they can never back it up when authority comes knocking.
IIlllIllIIIllIl 7y ago
Dude, women see right through the charade they put up. Be a Man and you'll continually find ease in seeing the women react to these males, and eventually you'll join in on the fun.
Bro wants to show his cool story? Great, get all the details and lessen his mystery. Handing out attention? Watch his value shrivel up.
Let the coyotes devour themselves.
holybad 7y ago
sounds like these guys are handing women to you on a silver platter. Everytime some BB starts this shit just don't react to it.
I had a friend try to cock block me from a chick at a house party in college and it just made her want me more.
when you do the denial of attention and they start giving them attention YOU HAVE TO NOT REACT TO IT. I'll say it again, DONT FUCKING GIVE ANY SIGN YOU EVEN NOTICE THEM.... and you win...easily i might add.
morcerfel 7y ago
You don't do anything. Don't even mind it. He's making a fool out of himself and everyone knows it but him. Kings don't mind being badmouthed by hobbos.
nickbfromct 7y ago
I'm no TRP expert so someone else should weigh in on this....
My buddy was good with girls while at parties with a bunch of betas. He would openly mock them but in a funny way and the girls loved it. Like even if it was a hippy vibe at the party and WE were the ones out of place, he would still call them out on lame they were for being "hippies" but the key was he was actually funny about it. The betas would huff and puff but the girls would laugh. Decent way to start a fight, but if they're truly betas nothing will happen.
[deleted] 7y ago
I have this exact same problem. All I know is: "Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it."
Grandpa_Elliot 7y ago
Girl im into (who has a boyfriend) has been very obviously attention seeking through me and often chooses to hang out with me more than her boyfriend. do I just not reciprocate at all? and not respond? (its typically through social media, text, snapchat, etc...) or do I say something specific?
Subtletorious 7y ago
If she is not being with you in person but being exclusively online, then she is just putting you in the friend-zone and milking you for her personal validation.
Grandpa_Elliot 7y ago
We do hang out in person a lot, but she acts differently. What's the correct response?
[deleted]
Subtletorious 7y ago
I don't know what you mean by "differently".
However, it does sound like you have a case of one-itis developing.
Grandpa_Elliot 7y ago
she acts differently with me in person than she does on social media. I dont have oneitis for this person, I just want to know how to respond.
Subtletorious 7y ago
What does "differently" mean?
What are you trying to get from her? When you say the magic words what result do you want?
ceilnaffrey 7y ago
in social group settings, what's the mindset? it's hard for me to be the alpha and lead the conversations.
Sonicracer100 7y ago
What does fapping actually do in aiding one's lifestyle? I just went monk mode and haven't fapped for the longest ever while I build myself.
Subtletorious 7y ago
No-fap/no-porn resets brain dopamine and sexual response. That is the theory. Some people notice significant changes. Some none.
You need do the process over 30-90 days to see the full potential (if any)
getrealmate_ 7y ago
Why is it that on girls' profile pictures, other girls will comment "omg so hot" "babe!" etc etc? They are CLEARLY a 5, at best a 6. Talk about delusional.
Subtletorious 7y ago
The intention behind the message is more important than the literal words used. They are just female monkeys sitting in a circle grooming one another.
4thAndLong 7y ago
I've been lurking a few months. Lots of good info. Finally got the courage to cut off a toxic LTR last night. Deleted my Facebook as well. It's time to focus on me and what I want. I've read about half the sidebar. My question is where do you guys have luck talking to women? I'm not a clubber and I don't frequent bars all that much. My workplace is not an option. I've done the Tinder thing and it's not really my style. Do you guys have luck approaching women pretty much anywhere as long as your witty enough to start a conversation?
Duchenne4089 7y ago
What's the best type of Facebook profile picture that shows both SMV and professionalism?
[deleted] 7y ago
[deleted]
Subtletorious 7y ago
You are thinking like a woman. Women worry about gossip because women depend on social networks for safety.
[deleted] 7y ago
[deleted]
Subtletorious 7y ago
Well, talk to your boss about it. Calmly. Professionally.
Chinny4daWinny 7y ago
How do you guys deal with the fear of missing out when you're not going to the bars/clubs 3x a week with the usual college crowd?
I'm in a relationship and we have frequent sex, but as I listen to the guys and girls tell stories of what they did when they got back from the night I feel like I'm missing out of the experience of banging different girls and passing them around.
I know in my head that doesn't really matter, but I feel like I should be doing it.
Monsterzz 7y ago
I totally fee you on this subject. I do feel I am missing out, but when I am there, I just don't want to be there anymore unless I'm super drunk or fucked up. I cannot be in at a bar and have fun without drinking at a happy medium. I can't be turning up every week because I have some things to do so I can limit myself with a clear mind.
BachelorPrime 7y ago
You need to be honest with yourself about what it is you want. If you're in a good relationship and like the girl then you find a way to get out with your girl or have a good time without her keeping loyal. Don't come in here looking for permission to cheat though. Be a man and work out what it is you want. If you're young in college, maybe you should capitalize on the opportunities and opt for the single route if it means taking a break. If you're relationship is solid and you're happy in it, figure out what it is you really want.
Chinny4daWinny 7y ago
What I really want is to be able to look back and know that I've "been there done that". I'll look at your other suggestions such as going out together. Thanks
MentORPHEUS Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
Yet the grass seems greener where you're not. Don't blow up a good relationship for trivial or transient reasons. Short term sex relationships are easy to come by for the RP aware man, but good relationships are harder to find than some people give credit for.
If you're young, this relationship will likely sunset some day. Then you can go out and discover that gaming women can be a lot of work with intermittent rewards, and that most women you encounter aren't as relationship-compatible as the one you have now.
Chinny4daWinny 7y ago
Very good way of looking at it. I'm 20 so I have time. The only reason I really feel like I'm missing out is because we're studying abroad together. When I first got here girls were all like "oh you're new here? Let me show you around ;)". "You haven't been to the clubs here before? I'll be your date!" This seems like a big deal to my because in America I'm too young to go to clubs or legally drink and here being a foreigner boosts my smv so I feel like I have even more abundance and options here.
But like you said, good relationships are hard to find and short term sex is easy. Based on how lots of the FRs look, if I keep doing what I'm doing my smv will continue to increase as I get older so I'll still be able to experience those things later.
[deleted] 7y ago
FOMO? engage or dont. Few words of wisdom.
Grass is grener where you water it
And anything other than a hell yea is a no. If you aren't hell bent, then it's not a yes
Chinny4daWinny 7y ago
Thanks for the advice. Instead of looking at the other side I'll focus on my side of the grass.
MattyAnon Admin 7y ago
You ARE missing out. In fact if you're in a LTR your game is slipping and you're missing out on a lot of experiences with a lot of other people.
The upside (for a while) is a great feeling, some stability, regular easy sex and so on. This is great, but do be aware that the price you are paying is the opportunity cost of what you're missing out on.
Make your choice and be happy with it.
Chinny4daWinny 7y ago
Thanks for pointing that out. I have noticed that my game has suffered a lot and instead of being known as Chinny, I'm Chinny & his girl.
[deleted] 7y ago
[deleted]
Chinny4daWinny 7y ago
Going out as a group seems like a good idea
Kardax 7y ago
Thoughts on dating someone who has promoter friends (she has slept with one according to her) is this instant dump ?
morcerfel 7y ago
What's your take on having a girl friend? (Not a girlfriend) I know this girl and we're pretty fine honestly. She acts more like a guy around me and to an extent a view her as a lesbian friend, even tho she definitely isn't one. I believe she does have a sympathy for me which I can use ( ie I can ask her to cook for me).
el_pildora_roja 7y ago
This may be a long shot, but are there any performance coaches here? I've been thinking more about what I want do long term, and this seems like something I would be both be interested in, and, good at.
longpenisofthelaw 7y ago
After swallowing TRP for a second time and making a life change by dropping drugs, slacker friends(basically all my friends) and around 50 lbs(no muscle gain though) has left me with a clean slate but also no life outside work and college what can I do to advance myself as I'm left with a lot of free time but nothing to do with it.
JediStrikerTy 7y ago
This might sound crazy and it's expensive but try picking up golf. Iv been playing since I was a kid and it's my obsession. Outside of work and gym I fill all my other free time doing something golf related.
[deleted] 7y ago
Find a creative outlet, women love musicians, learn guitar or DJing, it will increase your value as a male
Monsterzz 7y ago
There is plenty you can do. It's just accessing the means to do it. Know the bus runs every day.
Find a job, start to self study, run outside, etc. they're things you can do anywhere with access to a computer or a road. They just aren't fun to do at all.
MattyAnon Admin 7y ago
Lots of free time and low bodyfat? this is the perfect base for getting what you want out of life. Obviously lift.
Work out what you want in life, make steps every day to get closer to that. This is often hard as men transition away from "find a girl, make her happy" towards "live my own life". It takes time to work out what that means, and you only find it by doing it.
Sounds like you have got rid of the bad things, now you need to start doing the good things.
to_glory_we_steer 7y ago
Hey man, I'm in the exact same boat. Some things that have worked for me are:
Joining a self defence group, I'd suggest Boxing, Judo or Krav Maga, basically something to improve your confidence and become part of your fitness routine that works well if you ever need to use it, look for a friendly instructor and class
Get into reading, it takes time and dedication and can be very rewarding, it lets you live another person's life vicariously, it gives you something to talk about and it educates you. Also works pretty well if you're feeling depressed to knock you out of it
Go out. Galleries and museums are good options, they attract a better breed of woman imo than clubs and bars. Just remember you're there for the experience of the venue. Working through approach anxiety/getting numbers is an optional objective until you're confident to make it a primary objective. This way it reduces pressure on you and means that regardless of outcome you enjoy the experience
Also good effort, it's hard to unplug from your friendship group but putting yourself in the drivers seat by breaking free of your comfort zone is important.
MCAFEE_eats_shit 7y ago
I'd advise boxing, if you put in the effort you'll see the reward quickly and if you can get to the point where you are getting to have actual bouts then that looks good to bitches. Nothing gets them like watching you fight another dude and then come out chill about it.
_PM_ME_UR_GF 7y ago
Just want add that jiu jitsu is a very rewarding experience as a martial arts. And more practical than krav maga or a lot of other styles. My favorite is no-gi focused on mma, but there arent a ton of gyms that offer that.
[deleted]
longpenisofthelaw 7y ago
Huh never really considered the third option will try that on my next day I'm off and about the self defense group how thorough was the workout in your experience. Also thanks for the advice.
to_glory_we_steer 7y ago
For cardio it's great, left me pretty exhausted and I row twice a week for 20-30 minutes at a decent pace on top of lifting. They'll usually throw in some conditioning exercises and the moves/sparing alone will turn your core into rock. Just remember to keep lifting in tandem
[deleted]
BachelorPrime 7y ago
Are you in a position to get a part time job? There's lots of opportunities in college to do hourly work like grading homework or working tech support/customer service. This way you'll make new connections, beef up your resume, and bring in some extra dough. Otherwise consider a job off campus that fits your schedule, along with working out and studying. Congrats on dropping the drugs and seeing the big changes you needed to do. Unfortunately starting from scratch feels like a slow process like that as you build up, but it accelerates exponentially as you continue.
longpenisofthelaw 7y ago
I currently have a 60hr part time job I'm in the progress of looking for a full time job but will definitely take the advice at looking at tech support. As for the lifting this is the biggest challenge I'm facing as I go to work immediately after class(which is in a city 30 min) away so no time to take advantage of the campus gym and I currently can't afford a gym membership any advice on what to get for a home gym setup only got a pull-up bar as of now.
RedBigMan 7y ago
WTF? I'm assuming that's 60 hours a week... and you're considered part time? Something is wrong there. In most cases you're considered full time if you do more than 35 hours a week.
That said if full time work is going to hurt your academics (and those academics are going to be your future money maker) focus on keeping your grades up.
longpenisofthelaw 7y ago
Mistake 60 hours every Two weeks.
Peter_B_Long 7y ago
That's almost full time (32 hours a week is considered full time) plus school. I'm confused because you originally said you had free time, but then you make it seem like you're too busy.
RedBigMan 7y ago
Ah well 30 hours a week is quite a lot of hours when you're also doing school which I assume you have a full course load too.
[deleted] 7y ago
[deleted]
[deleted] 7y ago
There's only one way to improve your Game and text Game, and that's by practicing. Text Game is extremely easy to improve. I used to use Yik Yak to hit on girls. Sometimes I was straightforward, sometimes I'd make a joke about her post and proceed getting more information about her. It helped me to learn how to text-escalate and handle shit tests.
Game on the other hand is more difficult to improve. You'll have to fail a lot of times and then learn from your own mistakes. Whenever I cold or warm approached and didn't convert, I analyzed to see what I did wrong. I made a lot of mistakes soon after I swallowed the Red Pill last year.
With the first girl I approached at a social gathering I made a mistake by becoming too focused on her and not paying attention to other girls, and staring at her eyes all the time. It made me look too needy which is a turn off for a girl. Next mistake I made with a girl I cold approached is that we talked for too long, 30 minutes or so, and she ended up flaking, and then ghosted me. Third girl I approached was sitting by herself by the river and looked quite emotionally distressed. I approached her and tried to start a conversation, but she was constantly repeating that she doesn't want any company and that I should leave, but I held onto "you should never leave, but wait for her to leave" and I assumed those were shit tests and proceeded escalating. It just annoyed the shit out of her and after several minutes she told me she has three kids and a husband and asked me again to leave, so I left.
All in all, when you start approaching, prepare yourself for a lot of rejections, ghosts and flakes. Even if you manage to convert only 1 or 2 out of 10 approaches into dates, consider yourself successful. Just keep on improving your Game and learn from your past mistakes and never give up.
[deleted]
Philletto 7y ago
The taboo aspect of TRP: families who use their screaming kids to harass people who do not bow to the power of the family.
How red pilled are you really? Let me take a huge hit in karma points as I mention the unmentionable. When a quiet suburb of mature working people is invaded with a family of young children, they use their privelege as a family to harass and enforce their dominance. You have suffered it or you have enabled it. Get the non-confirmist with no fixed partner or kids out of the area. Because you are family and no one can stop you. I have observed this several times in my life, as a single man who will not have a wife or family. My house and land would be perfect for a family but me the selfish brute who looks after the property, leads a quiet life and is not funding a woman and kids, I am the enemy who must be forced to leave. And the attack is wild incoherent screaming for hours. The kids know they are being annoying, at least one of the parents tells them the plan. I have seen this behaviour several times in my life and I now understand it is the bluepillers getting rid of the redpillers. Once or twice would be coincidence. This is not coincidence.
I'm not a bitter complainer because the family are moving out soon, I have made their lives sufficiently annoying in return. I don't hate kids, and some happy playing isn't annoying. But intense hysterical screaming for hours? No thanks.
do_it_or_leave 7y ago
Loud music. Call the cops tell them you think there are children being tortured or at least neglected.
Philletto 7y ago
The children are being stressed, locked outside for an hour at a time to cry. It's like a boot camp breaking children. No traction with the police but some hilarious facebook posts from them complaining about me.
do_it_or_leave 7y ago
Why? What you do that about them?
Philletto 7y ago
Yes I know its hard to know who is the bad guy in neighborhood disputes. The long cold game is to appear to do nothing and make your opponents lose it and go to jail. I can say I did not initiate anything. I do not like conflict and I do not want a decade long dispute.
EDIT Did you just victim blame me?
do_it_or_leave 7y ago
I meant to ask what do you do that annoy them. That was a typo, but...
Victim? of children screaming in the garden?
Fuck off pussy.
Philletto 7y ago
Not so red pilled after all matey ...
[deleted] 7y ago
[deleted]
Philletto 7y ago
I am so happy I won't ever have to experience that. Science is now infected with gender issues. Didn't know that glacier science needs a female perspective? Well you do now.
Glaciers, gender and science
ImHerWonderland 7y ago
Been slowly reintroducing lifting and gaming back into my life. Lifted on and off when I was married but it slowed down a decent amount. Just wanted to know what I could have done better on this interaction.
Lifting with two buddies at the gym, I see a cute Asian female with red hair. I'm also Asian, and we're all in the Midwest, so that's usually my go to during conversation. I notice her, make eye contact for a bit, then go back to lifting with my friends. 20-25 minutes later they're done, and I start to work core on the dip machine. She comes up to me while wearing headphones and does the whole, "Can I use this", type deal without actually making noise. I nod and say sure with a smile, because I was in between sets.
Finish doing my break and stand there waiting for her to finish her set. She stops doing dips and rests on the dip stand for a good 30 seconds. I tap her and ask if she's "trying to steal my dip machine" with a smile. She immediately blushes, gives me the whole, "Oh I thought you were done". I tell her that I thought she just wanted to hop on with me. More apologies from her come and some blushing.
At this point I start smalltalking, I didn't want to approach earlier because I couldn't think of a non-creepy opener in the ten seconds I thought about it. Ask if she was new here and she says no. Tell her I've never seen her around at the gym, to which she says she comes all the time. I tell her I would've noticed someone like her. I ask what kind of Asian she is, she says Filipina, I say oh really, I'm VN. Cue "Oh wow, I love eating Pho!".
Why don't I cook it for you sometime? She declines says she has a husband. I keep frame, say, "That's fine, you're husband lets you have friends, yeah?" She says no. We talk a little more, she wraps up her exercise and says it was nice to meet me, but she had to go hit another machine.
What could I have done better here? In hindsight, I should have gotten her name and introduced myself, but completely forgot.
logicalthinker1 7y ago
You gotta read women better. Any women worth a damn is going to be used to guys approaching them trying to get their number or date them. Even if you're insanely attractive, a lot of girls are too shy to just jump right into a date like that.
Slow play your hand. It will help with her anti-slit defenses and it will seem like a more natural progression of a human relationship. You can certainly have success just asking for numbers after brief flirting. You just gotta read the girl.
[deleted] 7y ago
You move on. If she has a husband there's no point in even talking to her. Always check for a ring. Some say married chicks are easy to game. I think the potential drama isn't worth it. In situations like these if things blow up, you become the one that's blamed. The husband won't believe his wife is partly culpable because feelings. If she has a boyfriend it could be a shit test or not, you read the situation and try your hand.
BachelorPrime 7y ago
You executed very well for a difficult arena like the gym. I'm not sure if there's anything you could've done to change the outcome. Sounds like she was just being polite. You'll know better than I on this, but if she's real Filipina and not Americanized, her marriage and family situation are much more rigid than the typical American agreement. If you can execute that well with a single girl in the gym again you have a perfect opportunity for a date.
ImHerWonderland 7y ago
Thank you, all the good stuff on here has definitely helped. She was Americanized. Absolutely appreciate the motivation though, I'll be sure to keep pushing myself.
[deleted] 7y ago
You did everything right, don't push yourself onto a married woman, if she wants to cheat she'll make it known
ImHerWonderland 7y ago
I hear you completely, just trying to get back into the groove, been a while.
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Monsterzz 7y ago
Exactly this. Sometimes it's good just to have a nice conversation with someone and not even talk about their commitments or if you can go out together and what not. Just be personable and maybe she will choose to make a move on you. If not there's so many more.
ImHerWonderland 7y ago
I'm still pretty skinny. 5"10, although I look 6 foot because of shoes/boots, 165 pounds. Trying to bump it up to 180-190 and then cut to be a lean 180.
Aesteic 7y ago
Aw man, I'm the same height as you but 145 lbs, I guess I'm an actual skeleton then lol
MattyAnon Admin 7y ago
Sounds like you did perfect. Fundamentally you need to be having a mindset of "see if this one is a go / no-go" rather than "try to make it work with this one girl".
If she's happily married, why bother? Happily married women are not going to have a fling.... and those that are won't want to do it with someone they're going to see again (eg a guy at the gym). "I'm married" isn't always a shit test.
You did great, don't sweat it.
ImHerWonderland 7y ago
You're absolutely right about the go/no-go, and the married part.
Right now I'm just approaching to get back into it, and for personal fun. Trapped in a small state with nothing around due to the military but hopefully it changes soon.
MattyAnon Admin 7y ago
Your life, YOUR choices. Nothing will change of its own accord. Make what you want happen in life.
[deleted] 7y ago
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do_it_or_leave 7y ago
I always tought women didn'nt want to work with me because I make ugly faces while lifting. Thanks GLO.
[deleted] 7y ago
Hell of a lot of assumption based on little evidence, and solely on your interpretation. I appreciate your attitude though, OP may benefit from it.
ImHerWonderland 7y ago
It's not a big gym, it's on the army post. There's only one dip station, and I was on it.
I was between sets and taking my 30 second rest when she came up. She asked if I was done and if she could use it, I thought she asked to work in with me.
[deleted] 7y ago
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ImHerWonderland 7y ago
At that point, I was herp derping. Still learning a lot about lifting and exercise in general, I've been following coolcicada's PPL that was recommended for me since I'm mainly going for aesthetics. I had finished my workout pretty much and was herp derping to approach.
TheRedChemist 7y ago
I'm about to take a short solo roadtrip to a far away country. How best to leverage this opportunity for social proof on social media? I'm not worried about actually in-person socialising, that comes naturally to me now; asking for input on how people would use this for passive social proof because there's lots of opportunities for photos but being solo might look desperate. Social media isnt really my bag but I figure I might as well make the most of the trip for minimal investment.
I'm visiting a few famous places, some more unusual places, some aesthetically pleasing places, and I'm hoping to find some solid nightlife and cool people
Ideas? Obviously demonstrate my awesome exciting life, as with all social media, but it's possible to try to do that yet coming across as boring, or even worse, validation-seeking.
TheMightyMellow 7y ago
Staying in Atlantic City with my parents for the weekend but i'm staying in a different hotel from them and have my own room, any good places to check out while i'm there? Preferably with a ridiculously high girl to guy ratio??
MentORPHEUS Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
When planning a date in a new area, I've found the map search on Yelp is great for scouting out the local scene. It's a real plus to be able to execute an interesting, multi-venue date and have contingency plans available like a boss when she knows you're not familiar with the area.
During the day, your own hotel pool might be a great place to scout as well.
[deleted] 7y ago
I am 24 years old, education is well-done, at the beginning of a career, started lifting a while ago... I fatally lack in game. I need to practice, have sex and build frame. Girls that I keep my eyes on require higher levels of social/ game knowledge and thus I cannot find a way to 'practice'. I have orbiters that I do not find particularly attractive, should I go for them to begin with? Or should I keep pushing my chance with star girls?
MattyAnon Admin 7y ago
Female admirers aren't really orbiters, but I know what you mean.
Go for something somewhere in between. You need practice, but the sure-things are not good practice.
nickbfromct 7y ago
I would never hit on someone I wasn't attracted to. I get your reasoning but I'd rather strike out with hot chicks and actually learn from my mistakes/shortcomings. you'll gain more experience failing I think.
[deleted] 7y ago
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tall_bacon 7y ago
I wouldn't think you need to tell them about the vasectomy immediately. I'd just start with telling them you don't want kids, and if they bring up the topic of birth control or how would you prevent an accidental pregnancy...then bring up the vasectomy. I would think they'd need to first accept that you don't want to have kids, then move on to explaining how you're going to prevent it.
If they don't wanna accept that you don't want to have kids, there is zero point in telling them you're having a vasectomy.
Side note: vasectomies are typically reversible. So if your parents accept you don't want to have kids but freak at the medical procedure, make sure to inform them properly.
nickbfromct 7y ago
they are BUT when I got mine the doctor was VERY explicit when telling me it's expensive AF and hard to do so it might not even work when you get it done. I was 28 and had 2 kids(boy and girl) so he didn't try to talk me out of having it or anything which they do sometimes but he really hit home that if I ever was going to reverse it that it wasn't easy.
[deleted] 7y ago
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[deleted] 7y ago
You gotta always seek to close. Always. You're maintaining a list of girls you are simply chatting with. You haven't even done anything with either of them.
Dread game is basically when you threaten abandonment or withdraw emotional intimacy within the context of a long term relationship. It's when you show a girl you've already fucked that you have boundaries and can walk away from her unless she gets it together and gives you want you want. It's the big stick when speaking calmly. It's not even applicable in a "talking to"stage. First close.
Great you're talking to all those girls but give Aziz Ansari's Modern Romance a read. He's pretty blue pill but the key takeaway applicable to you is that talking on online dating apps means jack and shit. It's not even stage one of talking to a girl, and if she's anywhere near attractive she gets 50 or so likes a day, and maybe 20 of these are convo-initiations. You make your messages witty, emotionally stimulating, triggering and polarizing to keep her interest going and you CLOSE, fast. Or else she'll forget you.
Women often delete or deactivate their dating profiles every other week. That shows you how many guys are available to them. It means they often find a promising LTR that often. At least that's how it is on OkC.
MattyAnon Admin 7y ago
Dread game only works in relationships. You're talking about meeting girls off Tinder. She has ZERO fear of losing you. She's talking to 20 other guys. If you stop responding she won't even notice your absence in her inbox.
You shouldn't respond too much - not because it's attractive but simply to avoid looking needy.
A lot of these girls "on the go" as in you are having sex with them, or validating them by text?
Primarily your goal is "escalate to find out". Get her laughing, be funny, wait for a glimmer of an IOI and then "we should do drinks" or "what's your #" or something. Then text back and forth a couple of times and "drinks, Friday, I hope you hate cocktails".
You escalate with the primary aim of ditching the validation-seeking timewasters. Do not be an orbiter. ESCALATE.
In fact take it further: your aim is to completely ALIENATE the provider-hunters and validation-seekers by being sexual and trying to take it further. If they complain you carry on. Until they block you. In which case job done: validation-seeker eliminated.
blackedoutfast 7y ago
no dude, dread is something you use in a relationship. if you try to use dread on some chick you've just met and before you've ever really set the hook in her, it's just going to make you seem uninterested or flakey. you do want her to think that you live a busy life and you're always doing cool stuff. and you don't want to get sucked into pointless text messaging chit-chat or anything like that. but if a girl is pinging you or showing signs of interest, don't ignore her, set up a date or meetup or hookup or whatever
nickbfromct 7y ago
one of the things I learned on this sub that works for me is when a girl shows interest in meeting, don't be shy about making it actually happen. Tell her to meet you somewhere, don't ask. For example, I would say "I'm going to this place around [time] meet me there" or "Hey I'm about to watch this movie, do this thing, you should come do it with me" rather than "hey do you want to meet me here?" because you gotta sell that it's way more fun/exciting. Nobody WANTS to do shit, but you can give them a sort of FOMO if you're already about to do it and you're going to do it with or without them.
ImatWorkfuck 7y ago
On the reals..I thing about half the stuff in TRP is written by 50 year old divorced losers. And Ive been banned from TRP before and I dont give a fuck
evilcatnap 7y ago
If you don't have the balls to try and find out for yourself, you will be the very thing you look down on
[deleted] 7y ago
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MattyAnon Admin 7y ago
Obviously not.
Girls do not have a right to know your past. They lie about theirs, you can keep quiet about yours. "How many girlfriends have I had before.... let's see...... lasting more than 6 months.... um..... less than 10".
That's weird. Escalate again, then delete if no-go.
That's not a nude. It's probably trying to keep you as an orbiter by teasing you. Escalate again, then block if no go as I said.
Delete her number, next.
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MentORPHEUS Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
Noooooo! Tell them,
This is enough of a truth, and counts as a form of preselection. Normal healthy women don't want to BF-up a guy who's never had a GF before, it's an invitation to allow an embarrassingly needy Beta into her life.
Hard to recover from. Let her bake a while as you pursue other prospects. After a week or three has passed you might try to spark up conversation, but don't put a lot of effort in upfront. Trying to double down NOW and fix this with insistent messaging would be completely counterproductive, though.
takethedive 7y ago
To add onto this for OP, you could also just say "It's complicated."
She'll get tingles and probably press you, and you can evade the question with "I've lived a good life. cocky grin Let's leave it at that."
Or, "1000." "No, seriously, how many?" "Okay, you got me. It was 1000 if we only count this year." and agree and amplify into infinity. Etc.
My way of thinking is that 99% of this is just doing shit that amuses you for the sake of doing it. Why would you give a straight answer when you can get her face all flushed and frustrated for you to chuckle at?
rigbed 7y ago
Is there anyone else who has huge legs and a scrawny torso and arms and can't seem to move weight gain from the lower body into the upper body?
walAsr 7y ago
Me. Trying to focus on minimal volume on leg day while still increasing strength. 531
MattyAnon Admin 7y ago
Apparently men develop muscle naturally in different areas. I've read this, but not sure how much is bro-science vs scientific fact.
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do_it_or_leave 7y ago
I had this problem with my triceps vs biceps. Used to blame genetics, but it ended being bad muscle activation.
Here I will give you some tips, but consider doing your own research based on your own weakness as each muscle has some tricks to improve muscle activation.
Go for full range of motion and stop at both ends in every exercise, try to feel the targeted muscle contract.
rigbed 7y ago
My biggest struggle is overhead press. I'm stuck on 55lbs
holybad 7y ago
unless you weigh less than a buck twenty i suggest you see a physical therapist about this. an average healthy adult should be able to OHP more than 60 lbs with no previous weight training.
put you weight into this and scroll down to the over head press to see what a healthy untrained person your size should do. I suspect you might have a back problem if you feel no pain but just cant get more weight up.
rigbed 7y ago
Once I passed 50 lbs I could not OHP without feeling it in my lower back. Do I want to feel it in my back?
holybad 7y ago
OHP is a compound press which means you are using all the muscles that are between your hands to your feet. You use your hands, wrists, arms, shoulders, back, glutes(ass), legs, and even tiny muscles in your feet although the load of the lift is mostly bared by your arms and shoulder.
Tighten you core (as you should for all compound lifts) and flex your quads/hamstrings (squeeze your ass) as your push your arms up over your head and lock out your elbows to finish the lift.
The big picture idea of this lift is similar to the squat in that you should picture your entire body as a spring pushing the weight up over your head but instead of the weight stooping at your shoulders for a squat (your arms are not part of the 'spring'). they are now at the end of your arms so now your arms are part of this 'spring' pushing the weight up.
rigbed 7y ago
I'll definitely incorporate these squeezes into my lift
holybad 7y ago
how old are you and how much you weigh
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junior_painkiller 7y ago
GF wants a night out with girls in a club. I asked if i'm invited. She said no because it's her friend's birthday and only girls are invited. I've set boundaries before and stated that my gf only goes clubbing with me and she is kinda angry on me now. She really wants to go cause its her closest friend birthday. I thought for a while and told her - OK, but be at home by 2. She made an angry face and told me that I dont trust her. What should i do? Let her go? Will i lose frame cause of that?
MattyAnon Admin 7y ago
She wants you to trust her so that she can cheat.
Accusations of lack of trust are made by untrustworthy people. "Be home by 2" is VERY reasonable and a solid/faithful girl would accept this.
By flipping the script and demanding that she trusts you is so she has the option to NOT be back by 2.
Flip it back..... "Ok... I trust you to be home by 2".
Seriously though... .she's playing you. Women guilting and shaming men into trusting them with "you don't trust me" language is part of their duplicitous sexual strategy of getting beta men to trust them so they can get impregnated by alpha male genes. Don't fall for it.
nickbfromct 7y ago
do you not trust her to go alone? you don't always need to go with her, who cares? go do something fun without her. Go have MORE fun than her and tell her all of YOUR stories from YOUR night.
Merwebb 7y ago
Asking again: how do you deal with girl orbiters? Nice girl types.
I feel uncomfortable and avoid them completely
[deleted] 7y ago
No such thing. They are attracted to you right now
lost_in_the_sauc3 7y ago
Hey guys, when it comes to communication, speaking is key. However, I need to develop my voice. It's raspy and has a hoarse tone to it all the time, and whenever I'm on the phone the person at the other end can't seem to hear me even though I think I'm speaking clearly. I sometimes have troubles speaking, like something is holding my voice back and it comes out like I'm struggling to speak.
I have seen an ENT doctor and he said my vocal cords are fine, I'm thinking of seeing a speech therapist soon. Any tips guys? Was anyone else in the same boat at one time and some how got out of it?
mill58 7y ago
Why women insist so much in the shit tests? and Why is like they actually want you to fail the shit test instead of succeed? also when you pass the shit test they are actually surprised that you succeeded.
Is like they never trust you enough and they keep throwing shit tests at you from time to time or every single day.
[deleted] 7y ago
Women want you to succeed, not fail.
They shit test you to see if you're Alpha or Beta.
Philletto 7y ago
It seems the worst thing you can do is brush off a shit test with comtempt, that signals you wish to be alpha and require harder shit testing. Probably best to fail them knowingly and ignore their disgust at your apparent low beta status. LOL
Subtletorious 7y ago
Dealing with shit-tests is like women having to keep themselves attractive. Why should a women keep herself attractive if she looked hot, once, when you met, at 2pm, on a Sunday? Both sexes need to keep their sex appeal on point.
[deleted] 7y ago
I am 24. Within several months, I will migrate to another country. I do not lack in any obvious material parameters (not the hottest guy ofc), but I will be having ground zero social validity on top of my not so good game, which is disastrous at the beginning.
Should I go for networking, being the warm social guy, hitting bars and so on and build a high value from zero... Or have some serious gravity/ vanity and act like a 'already high value' guy and keep faking it until I make it?
evilcatnap 7y ago
I just did this one month ago and have an even better life than before. My biggest recommendation is to invest in your social skills. I spent the last 2 - 3 years practising approaching, public speaking, etc. . . Only when I left home do I now realise how powerful social skills are.
Via cold approach I now have a huge social circle after only four weeks and could (have been) meeting up with people everyday.
Many of the other people I met initially (new to country) stayed home and spent their free time on the Internet, now they're homesick and depressed.
I faced rejection, clubbing solo, etc, and now I reap the rewards.
Learn as much as you can about volunteering, community classes, and night life in your new area and spend the next few weeks planning/ practising cold approach. That's my 2c
[deleted] 7y ago
Well you forgot to include important details like what's your current location and where are you moving to. No one can really give you any advice without that information.
[deleted] 7y ago
My country may give you false interpretations (because it does not represent my origin or background), I lived in US for some time past year, and I felt no problem (integrated very well in terms of culture, non-muslim, white, no ethnic looks) other than my weak game. Other things are alright.
I am going to Switzerland. I do not speak the local language. Though people say it hardly matters there.
[deleted] 7y ago
I'm not from Switzerland but my elementary school friend lives there, so I know a thing or two about it.
Language matters a lot anywhere in Europe, and it matters a lot especially in Switzerland. You'll be surprised when you see how many people even in their 20s can't say one word in English. Even labels on many products in supermarkets are written only in German, French and Italian.
Native Swiss people are actually very xenophobic and generally dislike immigrants. They hate the most Muslims and people from Balkans, groups that are the biggest troublemakers. A lot of hate also goes for German white collar immigrants who take high positions, but that's mostly envy hate. Also talking to random strangers in everyday situations is not common in Switzerland.
My advice is to try to learn language as soon as possible, and integrate into their culture. Dress like them, talk like them, joke like them. Every canton in Switzerland has something unique and different from other cantons, and for Swiss people "local patriotism" is very important.
Many people (especially from Balkans) in Switzerland just keep dressing in tracksuits, smoke, drink alcohol and listen to music from their home country, and Swiss people keep them at an arms length and look at them with disgust. Don't make a mistake like this. Cooking food from your native country for your new friends is okay, but blasting loud mind-numbing music is not.
But keep in mind, even if you live there for the rest of your life, you'll never be fully accepted. You'll always remain "an immigrant", even if you have their citizenship. That's just how it is in Europe.
And about girls, well, I have no idea to be honest. My friend is married to a girl from our country so we never discussed that topic. But generally in Europe, social proof is very important and that's how the most relationships start, not by hitting on random women on the street or nightclubs. In order get girls you need to gain social proof, to gain social proof you need friends, and to gain new friends you need friends, and that's unfortunately a catch 22. Coworkers are a good start definitely.
All in all, that's my limited knowledge, it would be awesome if there's someone from Switzerland on TRP to help you out a bit more.
[deleted] 7y ago
Well thanks for your lengthy response, I really appreciate it. I am from the worst country that you can be from, when we are speaking of xenophobia in Europe. I know that I will never be fully accepted, though I should say I will 90% interact with other expats while I will be there; so I do not have high expectations regarding acceptance and so on. That is why I said language may not matter, but I am aware that I should learn it asap.
My biggest concern is this: in US being confident and cocky is literally wanted as long as you are not taking a politically incorrect stance about sensitive stuff. This overlaps with being alpha and my mode generally. However, in some cultures, as a foreigner if you behave like this to new acquaintances you may be perceived as arrogant and inept. I highly doubt that German culture (I will live in Zurich) is one of them.
Being compatible, harmonising and open to everyone is a beta behavior but I see no other way to approach people, when you are totally alone in a cold culture. I can be myself among expats, but still I cannot risk playing the alpha since I will not be practicing abundance mentality even in terms of friendship. There is nearly nothing alpha here, other than my studly body.
Let's hope that I have not made a mistake by not staying in US, when I look back, people were really really welcoming.
[deleted] 7y ago
Interacting with expats limits your options greatly. It also damages your social proof among natives as you become one of "those" guys in their eyes. My friend pretty much gave up on integration. He's only interacting with expats, married a girl who is also an expat, his boss is an expat, and lives in a neighborhood with fellow expats and other ethnic minorities. He's basically living a life in a parallel society. He spends most of his holidays back here in our country.
I think that integration is a much better long term option, as there are more native Swiss people than immigrants in Switzerland. That means you will have more options for everything. But again, it is completely up to you. See what kind of lifestyle fits you the most and try to make the best out of it.
Most girls in Europe aren't really raging sluts like in US. For them it's very important what her friends think about you, and they usually seek commitment before sex. That means you need to have a common profile photo on Facebook, to meet her friends and parents etc. Adapt your Game accordingly and use calculated Beta Game when needed.
[deleted] 7y ago
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do_it_or_leave 7y ago
Needy mindset/Scarcity mentality.
You need to do your research on these topics.
[deleted] 7y ago
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do_it_or_leave 7y ago
It is pretty hard to say based on info you provided, even for myself i had to read a lot to understand. I am currently on my second run of models from Mark Mason and portably it will be help you work on your weaknesses.
[deleted] 7y ago
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MattyAnon Admin 7y ago
Could be an aversion to public display of affection. she might be interested in someone else. or she might not really like you.
Try a different plan. Try to get her alone. If no-go on that, then forget it, too much trouble.
MentORPHEUS Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
High fives and handshakes, like other things you'd do equally with your bros, aren't good kino/escalating moves. They're too safe and not polarizing enough. Also, this may be a sign that you're overdoing it with her. Think of the theory of making a cat want to be petted by you, versus ignoring it until it comes to you.
Put another way, it sounds like you're out of balance; too much push from you and not enough pull from her. Calibrate your interactions for a good balance of push-pull and you'll either move forward with her or realize you're at an impasse with this particular woman and it's time to turn your attention elsewhere.
[deleted] 7y ago
With high fives, etc. it's like hover hands lol. You're showing her you're afraid of rejection thus playing it safe. Never high five, hand shake, or fist bump. Go for a touch on the shoulder or waist, pull it off smoothly but boldly. Often helps if you're explaining something. Amused mastery while doing it.
Darth_Antonius 7y ago
So building on that, what would be some good kino/escalating moves?
6RedPandas 7y ago
Oh shit I didn't know. Thanks man
Peter_B_Long 7y ago
She might start reciprocating when you kino other girls hotter than her.
If you are escalating / kino and she isn't reciprocating, next! Don't waste your whole time with one girl.
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[deleted] 7y ago
suggests you blew it in the first minute where you had a chance.
You're either not attractive, or acting unattractive.
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HoffAmazing 7y ago
She might like you and wants to make it clear nothing will happen right now. Or she is not attracted and wants to make it clear nothing will happen. Basically she doesn't want to cross signals and it could just be a timing thing. If you want, just call her out on it in a playful way and hold frame. Don't start it with a soft "haha" or any bullshit like that either. Be forward.
6RedPandas 7y ago
Yep I said wow jokingly and went to shake the other people hands before leaving.
HoffAmazing 7y ago
Good move. You can also over do it too so if you go for a high five and she rejects it just fucking grab her and bear hug her and see what the reaction is. If she hates it, you have a clearer idea of what's up.
6RedPandas 7y ago
Damn I'm not so ballsy to do that. Especially since I haven't escalated much Any other suggestions?
HoffAmazing 7y ago
Yeah, i'm 6'6" 300lbs so for me its a little different. Keep the keno up but don't waste time on her because at this point it seems like that's what will happen. The real key would be to increase your value and get her jealous.
6RedPandas 7y ago
Yeah that's a good suggestion. I'll just try, but not hope for much and just get other girls.
Thanks Bro I appreciate your advice.
HoffAmazing 7y ago
Yeah man. The biggest tool people forget about is indifference. Doesn't work? Who gives a shit. Learn and move on.
6RedPandas 7y ago
That's why I wanted to ask... Her behaviour is so odd
HoffAmazing 7y ago
People are odd. If you are trying to find the why to the oddities ask her friend about how she acts around boys she likes.
awaken471 7y ago
I need some advice...I'd say that I half-swallowed the red pill - I go to the gym, I have a work and I'm going to college. I'm not fat, though I have 20% bf (mostly belly). I'd say my SMV is 6-7
There's only one thing bothering me a lot: girls. the more I read about game, pick up and everything, the more awkward I feel when approaching girls. It doesn't seem something natural, and therefore I always get flaked or rejected. Feels odd to have a conversation. I also consider myself an introvert, who stays at home watching netflix and playing games other than try to hook up or go to parties, I would love to change that
MentORPHEUS Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
It's good that you're approaching in person; keep doing that!
I'd suggest you augment that channel with online dating. This can be a good way to find a fellow introvert and get a relationship going.
Once you have some experience under your belt, your demeanor with the women you're approaching and gaming will change in your favor.
Monsterzz 7y ago
When you do new things, they generally will be awkward and difficult, but to form a passion or enjoying it, you must have some success and enough experience.
rafanadal14 7y ago
Conversation should always be easy and natural, especially when you become alpha. Generally, if your SMV is high enough (bring that BF down bud), girls will be more than happy to start small talk with you. The most important thing to do is be confident, be sarcastic/witty, and remember: just have fun with it! If you're having fun, and she's still talking to you, chances are she's having fun too.
-MAurelius- 7y ago
TenGame will help a lot. I hear there are pirates who can help you find such a thing....
MattyAnon Admin 7y ago
Practice. It feels unnatural because you've never lived in tune with reality before.
PS 20% bf mostly belly? There's no fucking way your SMV is 6-7 unless you're a billionaire. You have to be top 20% to get girls based on how you look.
You are lying to yourself, just like I did when I was 20% BF. "I don't look that bad". "If I suck it in, I don't look fat".
Get the BF% down to 12, show your abs, and then we can discuss if your SMV is really 6 or 7. Because women value your physical look more than you can ever imagine. They only pretend not to in order go get access to your money.
awaken471 7y ago
Hello! You are probably right, I weigh 160lbs and am 5'6 tall. Even though I lift 4-5 times a week, I rarely do cardio. I'm also make way more than one cheat day per week
I'll do my best to reach 12%, which will probably improve all the rest. Thanks a lot!
[deleted] 7y ago
AKA, you're fat. Dont hamster your bullshit.
awaken471 7y ago
you are right, truth hurts I guess. Have you ever been with such a high BF? Also, I'm not used to cardio, I feel that I don't even have the lungs to HIIT. Is it the best way to go even for starters?
thanks a lot in advance, I'll make sure to drop hard my BF before anything else
[deleted] 7y ago
Ive posted my map on blogger,
Sprints and weights for fitness, kitchen for fat
awaken471 7y ago
hello stonepimpletilists, thanks for the responses. I found your shangri-la blog, but I couldn't find any advices/topics about kitchen, weights or sprints. Could you please link to it or something? Keep up the good work helping other man boys reach the manhood
[deleted] 7y ago
Testosterone nation is a good olace6 fornthat
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[deleted] 7y ago
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MattyAnon Admin 7y ago
Odd that they're all saying the "feelings for my ex" line. Anyway the most important thing is "not attracted enough to you". That's the message here.
So........ women are hypergamous. They want the best guy they can get. They'll reject guys they can't get, or guys that they can get easily. The essence of game it so be the guy she can only just get.
With that in mind.. sounds like you're getting a few dates. Attractive enough to get a first date and interesting enough to get a second. You are 95% of the way there.
Suggested gameplan:
First date: touching no kissing. (Build tension, don't be a pushover).
Second date: sex (if it happens) or more touching. Small bit of kissing perhaps.
3rd-4th date: your place or her place for sex or close to it.
Basically the idea is to get girls to WANT to spend time with you. It's not about manouvering them into dating you, it's playing things so they WANT you.
If they want you, the dating is easy. If they don't want you, dating is almost impossible. So the trick is to increase her motivation. This is partly about being attractive but also about being comfortable to be around. The latter is basically showing her a bit of understanding (not supplicating!) and being comfortable with yourself.
So right... how do you get girls to want you? Be attractive, be challenging, don't be a pushover, don't do provider game, show attraction to her. Get her to invest. Push/pull. Reel her in then accuse her of just wanting to get into your pants. Go to kiss her then show mock outrage that she's trying to hit on you. Be sexual most of the time, but not always escalating.
Girls are ultra low risk. They won't escalate unless they are sure you're interested, and they hate a sure thing because it's too easy. So you game them into investing and escalating and then mock-reject them. You are both the guy they can get, and the guy who is tantalisingly out of reach.
You are teasing her about the level of guy she can get, and the level of her own SMV (none of this is overt!). Girls find this exciting as all hell. Addictive even, if you do it right.
HoffAmazing 7y ago
Where are you finding the women? How old are you and they? How forward are you?
[deleted] 7y ago
it's a bullshit excuse, boilerplate.
disregard, work on replacing them. Iron rule #7
Monsterzz 7y ago
Maybe you are good through phone or text or whatever but really lack in personable skills. Your dates are average and bland or just not exciting to be around. You can be alpha all you want, but you need to woo the woman. You have to make her want to see you again. Be one of a kind.
On the case with the girls you've been seeing it ties into the same thing. Those girls aren't attracted to you enough and don't have anything else going on so they are going back at their past love. You aren't doing enough to keep them with you.
Work on yourself and keep going forward.
[deleted] 7y ago
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Monsterzz 7y ago
I think lunch is the right way to go over coffee. Coffee is almost too informal in my opinion. Lunch especially if you bring it up at the right time is best.
It's hard to call women out for lunch if they dont have that much interest in you. So you'd have to do some prep. The way I see it coffee can be like +10 max out of a theoretical 100 to get to fuck. In my opinion it won't get you enough points to really have the girl think you're worth her time. Lunch is a theoretical 50 max in my opinion. Of course this can be changed if you are just like her type and varies between women. So it is very important to try to almost break her wants and what you can to do to woo her to a science. Try to get to know her through good questions and conversations before you even meet her. Stay true to your masculinity and confidence all the while no matter how things turn during a date. If it sucked, be polite and just never call her again. If it's awesome, don't get too close and play it cool.
After I have lunch I try to hang out with her in a more private setting. I may start with lunch again or dinner this time then ask her to come thru for a movie or something like smoke some bud or drink a beer or whatever. I always say something like I'll drop you back after we smoke or you'll sleep better when you get home. The most important part is to not let her think you're tryna get in her pants. That'll push her away so quick. So I say stuff that makes her think I'm telling her to leave after we finish whatever we're doing.
Things that other bitches do on instagram and what not like going to some place that's hot in your city. A circus or fair. Maybe a show not a concert or a theater movie where you're supposed to be quiet or the scene is too loud. You have plenty of time to do that when you've got to take her out after things settle down.
I find doing something that you're very interested in and that will have you explaining or showing your interest is very strong. Girls are fascinated with passion. As long as she is not a bitch, she'll give you the time of day to explore things you like with her. And when it's over I say something like, what do you like to do? I want to understand (whatever) and why you like it.
Peter_B_Long 7y ago
Do the girls know each other? I was once talking to two girls and they were friends. I was escalating with both of them until suddenly one of them ghosted me and the other flipped out on me and I ghosted her. It was obvious to me that they told each other that I was making a move on both of them.
If the 3 girls don't know each other, then it's most likely that you're the problem. Maybe you haven't been sleeping well and you're missing your 'energy' or something has been stressing you out and it's affecting your body language / state of mind.
If they wanted to be with you, they would be with you. It sounds like BS to me and they're just telling you that you're not giving them tingles anymore.
You should be trying to lead / escalate those dates into the bedroom after the second one. Invite them over or think of something. They're getting bored of you.
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Peter_B_Long 7y ago
So true. Now that i think of it, if you give a girl enough tingles, she'll forget she had an ex. She'll forget she has a boyfriend. Hell, she'll forget she has a husband.
[deleted] 7y ago
After a long stint being single I have drifted into something. The factors are thus :-
chasing women was taking time and becoming a chore. Im sure some of you can relate. It's a bit of a numbers game for me and I got a bit sick of sinking the time looking for new girls. My job got busy and with trying to keep fit as well as read and whatnot, going out on even coffee dates started to become something to dread rather than look forward to. Even juggling regulars was draining and I ghosted out of a few things purely because of this.
going out was costing money. I mentioned coffee dates then, but most of the women I was meeting were out and about. Alcohol is the best lubricant for me, and I live in Asia so it is difficult to hit on women who havent had a few. A hard goal is to be more careful with money but there just isnt a social life without it at the mo.
Now I have started seeing someone more regularly but need to keep myself sharp so I dont get soppy and start doing stupid things. On the plus side, I now only have time to meet her about once a week which should keep it fresh enough. I do like her, but no lovey feelings and I've made it quite clear that Im not ready for anything really serious.
However, I am suspicious that she is waiting for me to drift into some sort of dependency on her.
So, any who has been in the same situation - what can I do to keep myself vital ? What are the signs that I am drifting back into betadom?
MattyAnon Admin 7y ago
Good question because you are a prime candidate for a back-slide into scarcity. You've already talked yourself most of the way there.
I'd suggest you keep other opportunities going. When you don't have access to more women, your One Girl will know to inflict ever more scarcity on you. They feel this, they know this, they test for this, and eventually the succeed.
Keep your options open with other women. Keep going on dates, even one a month.
Monsterzz 7y ago
I'll tell it to you in the way I feel to be true.
When you choose to settle down with a woman it is okay open up and trust them. I believe being alpha and keeping vital is most suited for a dating or single lifestyle. But if you choose to select a woman to be your significant other, you should be able to trust this person and feel comfortable. If being alpha is comfortable to you then do that. If being a bit beta is comfortable then do that. Just don't become a total beta because that's what makes women leave, cheat, or step all over you.
Just be yourself. A relationship should be treated different.
MattyAnon Admin 7y ago
This is TERRIBLE advice from start to finish, from someone who believes all the Disney myths.
Monsterzz 7y ago
That may be your opinion. I just gave mine. It works for me pretty well.
MentORPHEUS Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
"Just be yourself" This is the Beta Trail, beginner's slope. There won't be a black diamond sign before it takes you off a cliff. Bad, blue pill advice, backed up by countless men who have seen this through to the endgame.
Monsterzz 7y ago
I am not sure you guys understand what I was talking about. I believe in red pill and that mentality, but I find that it applies primarily towards bachelor life. Not long term committing relationships. If you are planning on setting down the lifestyle to be more grounded, you should not have to force a personality in order to get what you want. You need to be careful of who you pretend to be. If you are going out and meeting new women or keeping a few around you to yourself with out commitment. The red pill is the way to go 100%. But in my opinion derived from experience, I have been very uncomfortable and not satisfied from relationships where I tried too hard at being red pill with my partner.
I feel that a lot of people view all women as this blood sucking idiotic kind of being which just takes and takes and needs to be controlled. If you are committing yourselves to these kind of women, do whatever you want. If you want to commit yourself to someone who will mean something besides pussy to you, then you're gonna need more than some alpha macho red pill mentality.
MentORPHEUS Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
A man's lot in life is that he can never just relax and be himself, not even in a marriage. Especially not in a marriage! Deadbedrooms, relationships, and MRP are all full of stories of men who stopped gaming their wife/LTR and let their physique slide to Dad Bod and beyond.
Next step, the woman you thought you could be yourself around is whining, "I'm not haaaaaappyyyyyyy!" and looking to branch swing.
Phoenixtorment 7y ago
You don't seem to understand the Redpill still. This also means you were never redpill with your partner. You just hate swallowing it, its supposed to be uncomfortable at first, and you will not be satisfied at first.
There will be no pretending of personality, just growth.
Go read the sidebar.
bossplayaintraining 7y ago
I've noticed that in my latest interactions with girls, they're usually excited to meet me at first, but when we start talking, they become very serious & reserved (e.g. giving me one-liner answers, disengaged body language & facial expressions, & just overall acting detached). It doesn't help that I really don't have anything interesting going on right now, and that it's that time of year where everybody's getting ready for finals.
What can I do to keep that excitement going/ramp it up?
Also, how do I talk louder & clearer? I'm soft-spoken to the point where people honestly say they can't hear me a lot of the time unless I'm standing close to them. I've realized this might be the reason I get ignored.
MentORPHEUS Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
That may be a factor; hard to be a more scintillating conversationalist than average, when your life is average to below, excitement wise.
Can you see any pattern to when in the encounter they start to shut down toward you? You might benefit from an objective wingman observer to help diagnose this.
bossplayaintraining 7y ago
Basically right after I introduce myself.
Since I don't really have anything going on right now, but I'm a student in an intense program, I have to rush a lot of approaches (daygaming due to not having a lot of time), & I'm really uncomfortable with directly showing my interest to a girl (if you do that, they instantly reject you), anything I try to do essentially comes out forced (I feel weird when I try to say/do anything because of it). I then tend to quickly eject because I feel awkward about it, & most of the time I have to leave pretty quickly anyway due to other commitments
takethedive 7y ago
Have you considered you might have the opposite issue?
Consider: what if you're so focused on your life and its trajectory that when you don't express interest in these girls and don't compromise anything for them, they assume you're out of their league? What if they're framing you as the boyfriend type, tone down the excitement, and get extra serious to show you that they're good dating material and not as slutty as you might have thought?
You gotta convey somehow to her that she's got a shot. Sexy eye contact, flirty body language, kino, all of this, but give her something, or she'll filter you out as an immediate sexual candidate and place you as either an orbiter or "make him wait 10 years for once a month starfish sex" betabux.
You're into her for a reason, right? Tell her what the reason is. Even if the conversation that follows is boring, she'll be certain of why you approached, and she'll calibrate for that. Having her think you're bad at escalating is better than her seeing you as a nonsexual object.
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