[\~1400 words, tl;dr at the bottom]
​
When you put a frog in cold water and turn the heat on, it'll stay there until it boils alive.
I was alone one day when she went to her hometown to participate in a cosplay event. She had been visiting her parents quite a lot recently and this particular 2 week trip didn't strike me as anything out of the ordinary. That day I saw some pictures of the event. I didn't like how she interacted with one other cosplayer. That day or one day after, I received a single whatsapp: "When I return this weekend, we need to talk about our relationship".
​
The next two days were the most horrible moments in my entire life. I knew in my heart what that message meant, but I couldn't reason it since the message wasn't definitive. I was quite concerned at my job because I was afraid of just breaking down in tears and not being able to explain it. Funny now that I think about it. That day, those 8 hours were the most excruciating work hours I've had. I did the equivalent of two and a half days of code just to try and get my mind off that lone message.
​
That day I posted a message to subreddit rAdvice asking for help. Counsel, words of courage, words of comfort, anything really. One kind soul did give me those words. He helped me through those dark moments and helped me make up my mind. - If she didn't ask me for a divorce that day, I would ask her for it.
​
We hit off with a very intense relationship. Long distance relationship for around 10 months having sex whenever we had the chance. I visited her around once every two weeks. We were both our first times. Once we got married, we moved together and lived a relatively uneventful life for a few years. Until we moved to a bigger city. There, she decided she wanted to start a bachelor degree and I went ahead with it.
​
Our marriage was already quite weak, I just didn't want to admit it. Between one to two years before we separated the sex for her became very painful and we just stopped having intimacy. Even becoming aroused was painful for her. Shortly after this, she started to have more and more depression and anxiety attacks. We visited a psychiatrist for this. And the pressure from her school to attend classes and residency (she studied a health related degree) just had her in a bad mood most of the time. The sex got so scarce I actually discussed with her getting a side girl just to get my needs at some point.
​
This bad mood of hers had me do one of two things always once I got home from work. Either drown in videogames, anime or take her out to dinner somewhere. We ate out between four to six times a week. See, when watching something or when we were eating, we didn't have so bad moments and we could discuss one thing or the other. When she wasn't eating, or working on something from school, she just used lots and lots of social media. Eating out so much actually strained our finances pretty bad and put me in debt. Of course, we also got quite heavy.
​
That was the last year of our marriage. Day after day of videogames, eating out or doing nothing at all.
​
She arrives that weekend with her parents. She gets out of the van and they leave. I knew at this point what that meant. We sit on the bed and she tells me she wants a divorce. She's been thinking about it and she's afraid she'll end up killing herself or sink me into depression with her. She picks up her things and leaves later that day. I asked her to leave me the cat. She did.
​
At this point I'm left alone to pick up the pieces. No family nearby and friends are only from work, so I don't tell them until after a few weeks later. Therapists help me quite a bit here. My furry friend is now the only one I have for touch. But the asshole never lets me pick him up. I would have cut his balls again if I could have. At least he sleeps beside me at night.
​
Later on, months later, through emails she tells me that someone else was trying to romance her through facebook. That she almost fell for it, but the guilt weighted too much on her and she decided it was best for both of us to go our own ways. The following days of her departure she actually contemplated going back to fix things. To rescue what we had. But as I never called her and never tried to contact her, she gave up on the idea and started the divorce process.
​
As far as I'm aware, the process is still ongoing. The divorce lawsuit is quite fair actually. She doesn't want alimony and we have no kids. No properties, so that's good too. (Mexican courts can be quite feminist tho)
​
I don't believe she cheated on me. Or if she did, she won't tell me to avoid hurting me. I honestly don't care at this point, but the way she is handling the divorce tells me she says the truth.
​
That was three to five months ago. Picking out a meal and cooking it at home is no longer crippling. I found that since I just wanted to please her in the only way i knew how, I was always terrified of what to pick for dinner. Improving my diet was so easy I actually got surprised.
​
I discovered TRP around a month after she left and the thing resonated with me so well it was actually scary. It literally described my whole marriage:
- The sex diminished the moment we moved together.
- The shittests that were never passed correctly and only added to her contempt
- The desire that is never truly negotiated and might even manifest as psychosomatic disorders under enough stress
- The beta that believes that good actions and a stable job will keep her happy
- The beta that rebuilds his entire life around a woman after they marry
- The beta that becomes a shadow of his former self
I'm intrigued even. I read that most men, when first pilled, go through a rage phase. I never did. Once I understood all of her actions, I knew in my heart that if there was someone responsible for the death of that relationship, it was me. It troubles me at times that I can't get mad at women, because I know that the way they conduct themselves is in their nature. It hurts even more because I feel like if I had been a better man, she would have stayed. And stayed happy for years to come. But I am happy I met this woman. Even if she wasn't the perfect relationship, I believe she put me in the right situation for growth.
​
I do recognize, however, she did have daddy issues. Her dad was caught cheating and this pretty much sent her family into a crisis they never recovered from. Both emotional and financial. Her depression and anxiety also are something that did play a role into this.
​
Today I'm a different man. It's been a month since I started lifting. I've lost 7kg from improving my diet alone. My work is improving. I'm talking to women differently now and they do too. I have the tiniest glimpse of a purpose, brought about by what could very well be my coming of age crisis. I'm in my early thirties and I feel better today than I've felt the past six years. My only ache right now is that I don't have someone to share this newfound feeling of wellness, but I guess that's going to pass in time.
​
This field report might just be another [TRP is tru! Keep frame and lift] reminder. But I post it in the hopes that another man somewhere happens to find it and improves his life because of it. And to tell those in this community that I too have been given hope by the knowledge you have shared.
​
TL;DR
Marries first towngirl down to fuck he finds, becomes game addict fat blob. Marriage goes to shit because what blue pill can maintain a happy marriage? Wife leaves. Surprisingly, doesn't get divorce raped. Finds TRP, life is better than ever
​
Edit: Coming back to the title. This poster pretty much summarizes the reason I just cannot bring myself to hate this woman and I'm actually thankful for. Because for all the pain she brought me, she pretty much kickstarted my personal growth.
NeedingAdvice86 I was just thinking that the girl did what the Op was NOT man enough to do....she ended a marriage which was bad for them both. They weren't going anywhere, he had basically fucking signed out of life to be a fat, video playing slob, she either lost attraction for him or she was never very attracted to him in the first place <he was just the only\first guy who offered her a relationship and marriage> and he wasn't anything worth having as a husband so this girl manned the fuck up and ENDED IT...because we know that the Op would never have stepped up for another 10 or 15 years of misery for them both.
FifthEye 5y ago
This makes my heart happy. Good for you, man. You seem like a really mature, intelligent, good person. Welcome to being Red-Pilled.
Thanks for the well-written saga.
[deleted]
HurricaneHugues 5y ago
Dude this is stuff you tell your therapist. There is nothing of value here for any of us. You just went on and on about how your wife left you. Long post full of nonsense.
MrCongeniality1 5y ago
Thanks for putting this out there for others.
MattyAnon Admin 5y ago
This was a lie to make it your fault.
She cheated, sorry to say. Women branch swing, getting a firm hold of the next before letting go of the last. They don't take leaps of faith, they don't take risks.
Don't bank on this remaining the case forever. Maintain as solid a case as you can, assume she is evil and capricious. She might not be, but it's vastly safer to assume she is.
This is almost universal. Cohabiting = less options for you = less attraction from her. It's the beta strategy and it's rewarded accordingly.
SalporinRP 5y ago
If she didn't cheat physically (although it certainly sounds like she did), she definitely cheated emotionally.
But yeah she was probably fucking someone in her hometown. OP's gut detected something off about a guy she was cosplaying with and he was probably right.
ReasonablyGoodMexica 5y ago
I'm ashamed to admit that's the case. Emotionally at least one other time as well.
Philosophipster 5y ago
My parents have been together for 35 years. Even though they have their bad moments, they're still together and there for each other in their own way. That's real marriage, in my opinion. To me, women initiating break-ups and divorces the majority of the time, is just a sign that they can't handle real relationships (due to emotional checkouts) with real ups and real downs (rely on new-relationship-energy to stay happy). At least nog longer than half a decade in my experience. Maybe due to hypergamy.
If your ex wasn't getting hit on by other guys, presumably over Facebook, at work, w/e, leading to emotionally cheating (first foot out of the marriage) she might never have the 'guts' to divorce in the first place. If you had any/more game outside the marriage, you might have initiated it. I think that's more important than the simple one-sided analysis you highlighted.
You were both stuck in a crappy relationship/marriage, but she has more reason to get out. I doubt it has anything to do with real bravery or being 'man enough' in her case. It was mutually assured destruction, if neither had options. Plus, it's much easier if she had already fucking someone else and nog longer cares about her 'significant other' anymore - which makes actual physical cheating more plausible. I'm curious how emotional she was when she was telling you this important news.
That being said, you need to set boundaries too. Be proud of who you are and what you have accomplished. Lifting will go a long way in showing you can transform your body through working on it. No one can do that for you and no one can take that away from you.
Glad you're improving either way, keep it up! :)
jackandjill22 5y ago
Honestly, sounds like it was a boring relationship. She was desperate for any option to get out she could find. Sad, because she was apart of the problem.
askmrcia 5y ago
I think they both were part of the problem. More so the chick because I felt if op did everything right (not gain weight, eating out to much, playing video games) I still don't see that stopping the chick from branch swinging.
I agree with you that op was her only option at the time. The way I see it, she didn't want to be a wife long term which is most modern women unfortunately.
As for op, you're better off. Get out of the video game habit and work on other things. Lose some weight while you're at and you'll be fine.
Sounds like you have a good career already so you're good
ReasonablyGoodMexica 5y ago
I didn't even need to push myself to abandon unhealthy video game usage. Putting my shit together takes up a lot of time. I've even had to consciously sit and play something to relax and unwind. It feels good.
My only other crutch is porn, but I'm also working on diminishing that in favor of actual human interaction.
gorebwn 5y ago
I went through something very similar - and from experience there is light on the other side dude. Stay strong, keep lifting, and focus on you. Hit me up if you need to chat about it man
dr_warlock 5y ago
When a woman tries to 'better' herself while with you, it means she's not satisfied with the state of things. Her current state of 'things' includes being with you. Once she does (ie new degree, new job, business, whatever), her attraction for you will most likely decrease or she will have higher expectations of you. Your relationship to her is the value gap she perceives between herself and you. So if she, lets say, gets a new degree (no matter how useless it is), in her mind, the value gap has shrunk or reversed. She assumes the new people she's exposed to on her new path in life are other 'higher value' individuals and her mind will wander. This is all subconscious. It isn't malicious. It's a natural consequence.
-
Does she have a sudden desire to lose weight while with you? Does she suddenly want to dress better? Does she suddenly want to start a business or get a degree? Be ready for things to unravel bit by bit. She'll make all sorts of excuses for her lack of affection or sex or nagging and other shit, but it all stems from lack of attraction due to her 'increase of station'.
[deleted]
ReasonablyGoodMexica 5y ago
Wow this is new, albeit perfectly reasonable. Not only does decreasing your value has tree potential to diminish your attraction but her improvement as well. Once you look at it it makes perfect sense, but it's otherwise risky situation if you don't see it coming.
Your wisdom is much appreciated, kind contributor.
BirdManBrrrr 5y ago
This is absolutely on point for what happened to me in my marriage: (ex)Wife took a promotion and had a new circle of high-flying and largely single co-workers...she saw me as the lesser option for her time and attention and behaved in that manner. The only time I was useful was when things weren't going well for her somewhere else and she'd suddenly look for comfort and time from me. The pattern still plays out now, I get texts whenever she's not loving her life about how much she misses me, and crickets the rest of the time.
Anytime I'd bring up her absence or lack of engagement in the relationship I was accused of being "unsupportive" or something similar. Despite on paper me being ahead of her earnings wise by a decent amount she considered my job unremarkable and my overall status below her and her newfound friends. This ultimately ended with me "killing the puppy" (look it up) as she basically checked out and then waited for me to end it. The married RP and this sub did wonders for diagnosing, explaining, and ultimately correcting my shitty, low value behavior.
You're only her best option for her time and attention when you're better and more valuable than anything else in her life. And this is at any point in time and can change by the day.
You have a long road ahead, but you strike me as still young so you're infinitely better off now than you were before. A blessing in disguise, sometimes you need epic failures in order to look inward and fix your shit. Sidebar and lift, my friend.
ReasonablyGoodMexica 5y ago
Wahahaha and mine was certainly a failure of epic proportions. Thank you for sharing.
eccentricrealist 5y ago
Too many marriages between young people seem to just be extended relationships in México now. Are you norteño by any chance? Mis simpatías, compadre.
zevfern 5y ago
Mexican living in the US, I fear for young people like me on both sides of the border
ReasonablyGoodMexica 5y ago
Yup. And it seems it's only going to get worse in the coming years.
And yes, nortenio.
AceMav21 5y ago
There is only one way to truly get your life back. Buy a GSXR 1000 and tear up the streets. Get the license first and prob a smaller bike like a gixxer 600.
ReasonablyGoodMexica 5y ago
Holy shit, the thing is expensive. Although I might as well go for it now. I'll see into it once my finances heal a bit.
AceMav21 5y ago
Get like an early 2000s 600 of Craigslist for like $3-4k
SwoleyMoleyFrijoley 5y ago
Think of it like this, if you two were compatible, it would have worked out better. Seems like you have no ill will against her, and it seems like she tried to stick it out but ultimately did what she needed to do. This is a huge weight off of both of your shoulders, and you can both appreciate the good times and memories together, while moving on to both be happy with someone (or someones) more compatible. This is a win for both of you. Good luck out there man! Never settle for anything less than what you deserve.
shaunzorr 5y ago
Thanks for sharing brother. Keep cultivating yourself and moving forward.
drnaline 5y ago
Well written, man. You handled this well, best thing is not to get attached to things. Anything, thanks for sharing your story
ex_addict_bro 5y ago
She, she, she, she, she, we, we, we, we, we, I.
You've git still a lot of work to do.
By the way, as u/AGallopingMonkey noticed, this is not a field report. A "field report" is when you fuck a hottie. Guys at MarriedRedPill call such posts "victim pukes", because your thinking is still as of a codependent victim. You've got fat, but it is her fault because she had daddy issues. Rationalisations, rationalisations, rationalisations, ego, ego, ego.
The only part about you is "TL;DR", where you forgot to add "I". This is because in your own mind, you don't exist... you don't exist without a woman, you don't exist without "mommy replacement". Just as every 1-year old. The deal is, you aren't 1 yr old any more.
ReasonablyGoodMexica 5y ago
I understand your point. If it helps, I know my writing is low quality and it's likely I write english worse than I write in my own language. But I know quite well where the responsibility lies when things go south. Yes, some of it is vetting, but you can't blame the woman when the man is outright weak! I know this thing failed because I didn't put anything but money on the table. And even that, I didn't put outrageous amount of it. The worse of all, is that she wanted someone strong so she could rest easy. I put lots of stress on her as a result of not taking command and she only got more stressed, which caused a negative feedback.
It's precisely how the women call their man over at WomenRedPill: the captain. The ship needs both the crew and a captain to work well, but if the captain doesn't take command, it's only a matter of time before they end up in the reefs.
In my case, I know we got fat because I couldn't stomach saying "We're not eating trash today". And I couldn't say that because I couldn't stomach her pouting. And I couldn't stomach her pouting because i was outright weak. It's likely that I still am, it's been all too recent. But my perspective is different today. At least I'll make sure the next girl I choose, I won't hurt because I was a weakling. And that's not going to happen overnight.
inhiarashi 5y ago
Thanks for sharing. Good luck, tell us about it in 6 months!
ArdAtak 5y ago
Thanks for coming clean. I admire your clarity and self-reliance.
setsuna0 5y ago
I'm very proud of you and happy you are on the right track. Go harder than ever!
broncaloca 5y ago
Stay strong, Brother.
The lack of physical affection and emotional support is something us men have to go through every now and then. Sometimes for months, sometimes for years.
Some men can live without it, and I've lived that way for many, many years. But at the end of the day, I still crave a romantic companion. Some people here will call me a bitch, a bloopie, or a cuck; but a part of becoming truly redpilled is having the balls to go after what you truly want, and not giving a shit about what other people may think.
After understanding that us men don't just get love handed to us, I started using my desire for affection as fuel to improve myself. Lifting harder, working harder, becoming a better man.
Your time is your most valuable asset, so invest it in the only person that matters: you. As you improve your life, you'll find that both the quantity and the quality of the women in it will improve. Don't waste your time on rage, cynicism or negativity; that horseshit is for lesser men.
And don't blame yourself for what happened either, just learn, grow, and move forward.
ReasonablyGoodMexica 5y ago
One of the things the therapist really tries to push forward with me: That I don't put all the blame on just me. Weird enough, that's one thing I have difficulty with. I don't usually blame others.
Not letting those feelings hold me down tho!
awakenedspirit1 5y ago
Great post. Lucky you to make it to the other side without the anger. Sounds like this one lasted the right amount of time. Welcome.
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mette13 5y ago
You have it better than you think. You have the knowledge of how to create an awesome life (TRP) and now you got out of a marriage relatively unharmed, which is amazing. I would take a week off and loathe in the sadness and coping with it, but once that week is over, its gym, reading, and bitches.
ActiveIndividual 5y ago
Happy wife, happy life is BS. People should really stop saying it.
reversec 5y ago
majority of people likes it when it rhymes
Rian_Stone 5y ago
The lack of ownership and frame here is amazing.
This is 1500 words of cope.
ReasonablyGoodMexica 5y ago
If you mean lack of ownership and frame while in that relationship, I wholeheartedly agree.
I hate looking back and understand that in many ways I was the architect of my own destruction
FractalNerve 5y ago
That, I agree with. It's well intended though, which shows he didn't find himself completely out of the situation yet. Which is also understandable given the recency. However, more TRP needed for this broken wing to heal and fly hella high.
NeedingAdvice86 5y ago
I was just thinking that the girl did what the Op was NOT man enough to do....she ended a marriage which was bad for them both. They weren't going anywhere, he had basically fucking signed out of life to be a fat, video playing slob, she either lost attraction for him or she was never very attracted to him in the first place <he was just the only\first guy who offered her a relationship and marriage> and he wasn't anything worth having as a husband so this girl manned the fuck up and ENDED IT...because we know that the Op would never have stepped up for another 10 or 15 years of misery for them both.
I actually wonder whether he has learned any lesson at all...the future will likely tell.....
ReasonablyGoodMexica 5y ago
I'm going to put this on the main post. It pretty much summarizes what I think about her.
Good-Boi 5y ago
It's a positive that you have removed the bad element from your life. You can only go up from here.
Do not attempt to get reinvolved with that foid. I would also give up on trying to discern if she cheated on you or not, since you story reeks of a classic cheating.
Get tested for gods sake. I know I do after every relationship.
In the future, if you find the similar 'no sex' pattern emerging, make sure you tell her that's a deal breaker and if she can't feel sexually attracted to you, she must gtfo. Sex is a key foundation of a healthy relationship.
Ansec 5y ago
First of all she sounds like a bitch. Just be glad you're done with her now and you don't have kids with her. Otherwise you'd have to spend the rest of your life interacting with her... Makes me shudder.
Barring an actual medical diagnosis, she's a lying piece of shit. If she's not having sex with you as much as you want, then you fucking straight up leave.
Also some advice to you video game loving children here. If the woman loves to dress up in cosplay, she's no more than a FWB or a plate to spin. Never wife her up. Same goes for Instagram girls. They are doing those things to get attention from men.
ReasonablyGoodMexica 5y ago
We did visit pussy doctors. They treated it the way they thought best and nothing changed. The thing did go away on occasion when visiting her parents.
I remember the expression used by one of them "I know I'm not crazy, I'm literally looking at irritated tissue".
Although she did turn into one, I am more inclined to believe I let her descend into one. If she's a monster, then isn't the job of a man to be an even bigger monster?
The cosplay did come later in the relationship.
And yes, foolish me waited several crises, two years and the dread of her leaving to arrive to the conclusion that sex is actually important.
New_Guard 5y ago
Good job man - keep it up. Don't you dare get into another serious relationship until that tiniest glimpse of purpose is fully formed. A woman will never help you further develop your purpose - she'll just redirect it towards her own goals before it's strong enough to fend for itself.
redrogue12 5y ago
So much this. Having a purpose is so important. If you truly work towards it, frame takes care of itself. I had trouble handling text messages or writing too often. Being ACTUALLY busy changed all that.
ElegantCyclist 5y ago
Also, this is a red flag alone:
If she's going to events like cosplay, dances, "clubbing with the girls," etc., where people go to meet and hookup... then your relationship is already dead.
The reasons not to get married are legion and I don't get why guys keep marrying.
Da_RectumWrecker 5y ago
This. One of the girls that I am banging has a bf. She regularly has "girls night out" with her single friend. She is looking for dick when she goes out with her. She even had me meet her during one of those nights. Her friend knew all about me, she told her everything! The friend was more than willing to help get us keep things a secret from the girl's bf too.
Ubermensch33 5y ago
The Sisterhood will always show solidarity for, provide cover for, or aid and abet a woman trying to optimize Hypergamy,…unless that woman is in direct intrasexual competition with her for the same optimization.
https://therationalmale.com/2018/10/23/past-indiscretions/
u/Rollo-Tomassi
[deleted]
bakamoney 5y ago
Fuck these no context "talks" that are held in the near future are probably one of the most retarded lines in their arsenal.
They give you basically no details about what it is - basically baiting you to have anxiety and out guess/ over think it even when you wouldn't have done so normally. Sometimes you are right what its about. Other times it's fucking nothing.
A girl did his to me like 4-5 times.
She would hype up these "talks" as if it was a life or death situation. And share not one detail further. Would put me in her frame so fucking easy.
Now I am just like yeah whatever when they use this but there's still a part of me which feels one day I would miss an actual important thing.
Its not that girls cant be definitive and exact. But they prefer to speak I'm variables and enjoy the power that it gives them.
SirKolbath 5y ago
In point of fact, any woman who drops a line like that on me gets ghosted immediately. I don’t suffer this emotional bullshit with a smile. I think OP and everyone reading this is well aware that she had made up her mind before she even left. There was no reason to drag it out.
If it were my wife and she dropped a line like that on me she would come home to find all of her shit in the yard.
binkerfluid 5y ago
To be fair I've done it to girls to, its shitty and I did it to make the feel bad. They were shitty to me and I wanted her to sweat it out.
She was one of the worst people I've ever met and unfortunately I had a kid with her before realizing it and I just wanted her to feel bad.
leisuresuggestions 5y ago
Happened exactly the same to me as well. I think I will never stop being bewildered with how many patterns there is to see regarding relationships.
freestyler2k1 5y ago
You can reframe it simply by: „No! We don‘t have to Talk!“
mattizie 5y ago
Happened to me too.
Easiest thing to do is not pay any attention to anything that comes out of her mouth. Pay attention to her actions, not her words.
You may miss a few important details every know and then, but it's a small price to pay.
ElegantCyclist 5y ago
It doesn't matter what it is. The relationship is over.
[deleted] 5y ago
Iliza Shlesinger said it best "women like to stun their prey"
​
They have that cat instinct to play with the mouse before killing it
SalporinRP 5y ago
So annoying. It's such an obvious power play.
Like when someone starts to tell a juicy story then cuts themselves off and says "well I really shouldn't be saying this" just to get you so worked up until you finally say "spit it out".
Humans are curious creatures naturally. And women take advantage of this all the time. Reminds me of a convo I had with one of my crazy exes before I discovered TRP.
She texted me right before one of my final exams saying "hey are you free later, we really need to talk". And of course I get mad and say why are you getting me worried about stuff right before my final that's just unfair. And of course she does the fake backtrack and says "you're right I shouldn't have texted you". So then I take a 90 minute exam just nervous as fuck about this shit and when I call her after my exam and listen to the thing she had to tell me, she says some completely inconsequential shit that easily could have waited or she could have just texted me about.
Such bullshit.
bakamoney 5y ago
Oh they even ntentionally choose a time when you have a serious RL stuff to bring it up.
redpillschool Admin 5y ago
'We Need to Talk' and other ways of controlling the flow of information for power.
Fatih582001 5y ago
i perfectly needed it! thank you!
bakamoney 5y ago
Yup! That's an exact description of how it works.
zyqkvx 5y ago
I'm having a fantasy here..
<things seem to fine for 3+ months>
her [out of the blue]: "We need to talk"
me [out of the blue]: "No we don't. You're stuff will be in boxes in front of my place. Never contact me again."
Rotallyish 5y ago
You've summarized Elam's 90 day shit test perfectly.
DavidEagle68 5y ago
Well, now I know how this plays out.
The_Red_Trooper 5y ago
She cheated on you. Women cant be "single". Every one is at least hanging on to one guy. No woman is truly manless. "we need to talk"=I see you as a beta chump and I found another guy to take your place but I cant say this directly.
You got to understand the language that women speak. Women do not say what they mean. It takes experience. I been cucked a few times and learned my lesson. The way a relationship works is a woman finds a ferocious lion. Once she gets the lion she tries to turn that lion into a pussycat. Once the lion is a pussycat she then despises the pussycat. So she has no choice but to look for another ferocious lion but cant let go of the pussycat until she finds a lion of higher value than the previous one she owns. This process repeats itself over and over until she meets a lion who doesn't turn into a pussycat.
But you should improve your SMV and spin plates. Don't get into any ltr until you spin plates and actually understand how woman work. AN Ltr is the redpill on hard mode. Spin plates and have fun. Welcome to the redpill. There is no going back brother.
blackierobinsun3 5y ago
Women should be banned from using puones
ddelicia 5y ago
Keep fighting the good fight brother. Also i would love to hear about Mexico and mexican girls, planning a trip there. HMU ?
textualintercourse 5y ago
Hindsight is always 20/20 and you didn't have ANY of this information. Reading this, you both come across pretty damn reasonable. I'll even concede she doesn't come across as terrible.
Only two points to give you (mainly lurkers) for future reference:
FIND YOUR OWN PURPOSE THAT IS NOT A WOMAN. The second you make HER your goal/purpose, you've lost. Women have lied to themselves for centuries. The fuckable feminine woman wants to be led, but they are programmed internally with a rage for domination... But once they get what they want, they aren't happy anymore. So the dude that walks in front, seeking his personal goal on the distance, is the man she can never fully own, and it makes her crazy, as well as crazy attracted or irritated (But you own the power and overcome all shittests so who cares if she chooses to be a bitch.. not your problem).
All I got for you. Baby steps.
the99percent1 5y ago
Wow. You escaped relatively well there. No alimony or child support. 50/50 split.
Cant get any better than that. Enjoy your new found freedom. Heck, go and fuck more women now you lucky bastard.
Dont ever settle and get married again.
jackandjill22 5y ago
That's true. Definitely one perspective.
FeelsSmallMan 5y ago
So many lives are saved thanks to this community. I guess that’s why we have been quarantined.
Nergaal 5y ago
These men are not useful idiots to the society, so of course they need to be quarantined.
Philosophipster 5y ago
Is that sarcasm? The guy admits making mistakes, even though his wife was the one thinking of cheating, and still he improves. That's learning. That's progress. It's not a 'not useful idiot'. This sounds like a typical hardliner feminist comment from my perspective. Men are humans too. Something to keep in mind before you respond next time. Meanwhile, I would love to see how his ex wife is doing. I'm hoping she also used the self-initiated divorce for self-actualisation instead of being a 'not useful idiot' - to use your phrasing.
Nergaal 5y ago
My reply was to this sentence
Philosophipster 5y ago
But you're serious? I'm confused.
LordTilde 5y ago
I think the distinction here is that you are interpreting it as "not-useful idiots" while they meant it as "not useful-idiots".
eclectro 5y ago
There's a whole lot of missing elements here, and I am only posting for others who might chance upon this post. The painful intercourse is actually a complex biological medical condition that needs to be treated by really competent medical professionals.
It's a difficult problem that can affect up to 21% of women. So some others reading this probably will encounter this problem and they need to recognize it. Sadly, because our health system is so screwed up it's hard to find competent specialists in this area that can offer accurate diagnosis and viable treatment options that work.
Women have to understand this and be proactive in treating this condition for themselves.
I know I sound like a betacuck/tradcon or whatever for mentioning this, (I'm more mgtow tbh). She left him the damn cat, and I wouldn't feel bad throwing her a bone so to say. They aren't enemies and that's a good thing. He could have gotten divorce raped even though they did not have much.
If they happen to have the opportunity to speak I personally would mention it to her i.e. she needs to get that treated just for herself and whoever she happens to be with in the future.
ReasonablyGoodMexica 5y ago
Three or four pussy doctors treated her in the span of a year and a half.
At this point I just believe she felt so stressed about doing her wife duties in bed and I became so undesirable to her that it became a psychosomatic disorder.
crawtators 5y ago
Til dem papers is signed...walk the line. The divorce rape threat doesnt sound like it is 100% past. Keep it cordial when you have to but limit contact til those papers are filed in court.
Brickles09 5y ago
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haha, the final shit test!
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She wants to (1) understand why beta you didn't beg for her to return, (2) blame you for not allowing her to fix things, but the truth is that she would never have returned anyway, she's just puzzled that beta you didn't crawl in the floor screaming her name. Your composure actually created some tingles, which is the opposite of what she said, she liked the way you behaved, and that's why she contacted you months later to mention it.
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sciroccomindrape0087 5y ago
Marriage is for retards there are to ma ny women in this world to fuck. Approximately 4 billion. The notion that you should be confined to only one is complete cuckery. Women are like meat. Would you spend the rest of your life eating same cut of meat again and again.
PhasmaFrank 5y ago
A huevo! Puro para delante, el camino dificil a ser mejores es lo correcto
universalabundance1 5y ago
It's posts like this that remind me why men need their own space, so we can share stories like this so we can learn from them and help each other grow from them.
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TheOneWhoDidntCum 5y ago
Kudos to you ! Respect Braddah!
richpianoo 5y ago
Hey brother good job i am so happy to read your story keep it up but just REMEMBER when you lean and earning top dollar dont let her back in to your kingdom she chose to leave when your at your lowest she can watch someone else enjoy you at your best. Again really happy you are here.
ReasonablyGoodMexica 5y ago
I honestly wish for two things. For me to get lean and earning top buck and for her to find someone else that does that as well. This is the only other real alternative, as I can't go back in time and be a better person.
She inadvertently put me in the right path, good wishes are the least I can give to her.
friendandadvisor 5y ago
She deliberately made you a cuckold and left you to eat shit on your own.
It's great to forgive, but, don't be fooled-you are a nothing to her.
Philosophipster 5y ago
I was gonna say this. It's understandable that women are women, but that does not make it impossible for them to also better themselves. You might be giving her a pussy pass. I'm also very curious if she spoke the truth about all the stuff that happened between the break-up and meeting up later. You might be positively biased and more experienced with her, but then again I've experienced women do sneaky shit and keep their bfs out of the loop to 'not hurt them' (womanese translation: not having to confront my mistakes and let the hamster rewrite the narrative so that there is nothing left to learn - lightswitch nonsense)
L0neWolfAlpha 5y ago
I was married for 6 years as well no kids, no alimony, enjoy the freedom and never fall into that trap (marriage) again.
Odins-left-eye 5y ago
Reading this, you strike me as a very emotionally healthy man. This is the thread I want people to see when they say TRP is just a bunch of toxic woman bashing.
Have you ever seen Swingers? It's the ultimate guy breakup movie. Takes you through the full arc from blubbering to empowered.
SwoleyMoleyFrijoley 5y ago
I agree there is no hatred toward the wife and it seems like he knows what went wrong and learned from it. People come into our lives as either a blessing or lesson. She's a lesson.
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ReasonablyGoodMexica 5y ago
I'll check that movie later.
Odins-left-eye 5y ago
Brace yourself. You'll cringe. But if you push through it, you'll find something really special.
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Obwalden 5y ago
If your entire life revolves around "getting with beautiful women" you're not living a very fufilling life. Infact you could easily argue that your life is just about worthless.
womans_algorithm 5y ago
You have no idea what OP went through. If you did, you'd know "seeing more women" is not an answer to his situation.
Maybe it's time people on TRP start realizing "just fuck more women" is not de facto answer to all of man's problems.
FractalNerve 5y ago
I get his message, but after an LTR & divorce you don't tell someone to fuck, beta or not. You tell them wrap up shit, go inside and find the screaming man and let him out. Let the hate out, get confirmed and confident by receiving approval for the stuff you do NOW is the RIGHT thing and only your own accomplishment.
womans_algorithm 5y ago
Why did you reply to me, like at all?