And you're a fool for letting the world convince you that dating them made you a "good man". Always remember, if it takes propaganda and mass social conditioning to convince you to do something, it's probably not healthy for you(See: Fast Food)
1.The first and most common defense for single moms is "What if they divorced or left an abusive or bad man". Well that's simple: Single Moms are Single Moms because they're bad decision makers and let their emotions lead them into a bad situation. Bad Decision Making is the worst trait a woman could have.
"Well RyanGrey, sometimes guys turn shitty!"
No one makes that drastic a change overnight without some sort of serious trauma. The signs are usually there, you just choose not to see them. Once again, bad decision making.
Sluts make bad decisions, too, but at the very least they know when to jump ship.
2.Single Moms are women who have lost all value. No matter how attractive she is, a single mom has lost all value to you as a man because she's already taken on the world of another man. Another man has already beaten you to the end game and you will always be second place.
Sluts may have fucked a bunch of guys before you, but at least she was smart enough not to have a kid. Kinda impressive with how much time she spends around semen.
3.There is no one more manipulative and full of shit tests than Single Moms. Once she has that kid and realizes just how hard it is to raise it alone, that very second, her female manipulation goes into overdrive. All the attention and sexual cravings are still there but with "need for a provider" mode kicked into hyperdrive. She will try and get you alone with her kid, she'll get him to call you daddy on "accident", she'll pull every trick in the book. Every word, every sexual act, every moment has a million implications behind it.
Sluts are manipulative but at least there's no kid involved. At least they'll just get you attached to their vaginas.
4.Single Moms carry more baggage than any woman on Earth, even strippers. The Kid. The Man who they wanted to have the kids with no longer being there. The Loneliness. The Fear. I could go on and and on but single moms are packed with more baggage than Louis Vuitton. The amount of crazy they have to hide combined with the effort it takes to hide said crazy when trying to find a new man is beyond words.
Sluts have issues but they're usually the ones leaving guys behind.
5.Children raised by single moms have the highest rate of crime in America. See: Black America for more details. The one matriarchy in America and it's the most ignorant and violent by far. Signing up to raise a child who has no father, even if you're the best replacement dad in the world, has an astronomically increased chance of ending badly for you. The abandonment issues and daddy issues will always be there. Its why most lesbians or faux-lesbians I've met either have no dad, step dad, or bad dad.
Sluts don't have kids. You can bounce with no guilt.
I have lived through it personally with my own single mother, I've lived through it trying to date a single mom, I've lived through watching my friends trying to date single moms, and I've spent years reading the statistics on single mothers and watching them play out in real life.
I know most of us were raised by single mothers(this is America after all, Single Motherhood is the pinnacle of the "Destroy the Nuclear Family plan) and I know this hurts to hear because it hurt me when I first heard it:
Single Moms are one of, if not the most detrimental group to society.
chakravanti93 10y ago
What if they blame all their choices on childhood abuse.
temerarious 10y ago
I was going to make my own post, but I'll just piggyback on yours because it's completely relevant. What I quoted from you here is very true.
ANECDOTAL EVIDENCE BELOW:
I dated a single mom a few months before leaving for bootcamp. I was very clear about the fact that I would not be exclusive because I only had a few months left in the area. She was a slut and easily agreed.
She actually made a point of the fact that she didn't want me to meet her kids at all because she didn't want them to get attached. This was to make me comfortable with her (I only was aware of her intentions in hindsight. My actions throughout were BP as fuck). I'm pretty sure she saw the military career as a prize to latch onto because of the benefits.
Very shortly after fucking the shit out of her and doing whatever I wanted to her body as she was very willing, she shows up to my apartment one day with her two children. I see them through the peep hole and am wondering why the fuck she brought them. I let them in and pull her aside and ask her wtf?! She says "Oh, it's not a big deal. They don't even know you're anything more than simply a friend." It wasn't long before she was being affectionate to me in front of them and kissing me and shit. I asked wtf again and I got the same old "it's not a big deal" routine. So I treated it as such. I figured they're her kids, she knows what's best for them. I've been clear about the fact that I'm leaving so there shouldn't be any confusion in her mind.
Eventually I agree to be exclusive for the short time I have left before bootcamp (I told her I fucked someone else and she gave me an ultimatum. BP me stuck with her because she gave me the best BJs I've ever had even to this day).
By the time I was leaving, she's putting a guilt trip on me for not staying with her because of how much her kids love me now. I reminded her of how she was fully aware of that before introducing them to me. She says something along the lines of "well, I shouldn't have let them get that close, but it's too late now" or some shit. She didn't give a fuck. She completely let her kids fall in love with me and me with them (legitimately) and was using that to manipulate me into a long term relationship. I'm sad to say it worked.... then she cheated on me while I was at bootcamp with someone who presented themself as a better provider. Lol.
Mine is an extreme example, but seriously, do not trust single moms. They will do whatever it takes to make you comfortable early, then whatever it takes to trap you later. Whether this is subconscious on their part or not, I don't care. It's fucking real.
[deleted] 10y ago
There's been so many girlfriends and wives who've cheated on troops. If any gender cares the least about the lives of the military, its women. Women don't generally give a fuck about any aspect male disposability unless whoever is in power, which is primarily blue pill men, are willing to shame them over it, which would work because of the men's SMV and women's irrational confusion with personal value and sexual value. Women care more about not being catcalled than the fact that there are homeless veterans who can't find food, shelter, or mental help, or young soldiers who've been seriously injured or killed, all primarily male and considered generally worthless to the world at large. I'll never join the American military, or any military for that matter, but I think that its bullshit how its been used as a tool all this time by people in power who aren't even smart enough to see through the bible.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
military men getting cheated on isn't an extreme example, its the worlds most common sad to say
honor is a male trait: men see military men and we want to buy you drinks and salute you, women see military men and either get turned on by the uniform or someone to provide for them.
never forget that.
RedPillager 10y ago
This is NOT and extreme example. This is a TEXTBOOK Military example.
Source: I was in the USAF for 6 years, and though I was BP through and through those days, I was well aware of the military marriage/LTR hazards due to my father having been in for 26. I stayed far far away from anything even remotely close to marriage and kids.
theredpillager 10y ago
Why hello there, me with no article.
Captain_Unremarkable 10y ago
Since this is redpill, I'll throw in another unpopular truth especially detested by Americans. Do not join the military. I've seen far too many lives destroyed by it, both literally and figuratively.
As an institution it does not exist to pay off your student loans; your life will be endangered to impose our politicians' will on poor people in other countries. My grandfather, a poor Christian chicken farmer, came back from Korea violent and broken, and it could happen to you. Do not join the military.
awesomesalsa 10y ago
Depends. If you join the Marines or Army infantry, yeah you're risking your life and your mental health on whatever geopolitical conflict the old men in congress want to throw you into.
But I was in the Air Force Medical Service, got free training in a high-demand career field and, while I deployed, it was in the safety of a FOB and I never saw combat. I saw a lot of people destroyed by combat but I was the one saving them not the one being saved.
So it really depends on the career field. A blanket "don't join the military" isn't the best advice.
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RedPillager 10y ago
I actually disagree wholeheartedly. Not from some misguided notion of patriotism or nationalism. In fact I've always detested random people coming up to me in my uniform, thanking me for my service. It's always seemed to me to be disingenuous. It's because I needed structure, as many, many, many young males in this country do.
For the vast majority of service members, (non-infantry types) it's like any other job out there, albeit with much more structure and perhaps, most importantly, esprit de corps.
After 6 years in, I was very bitter about the way my career panned out and I decided to not re-enlist. I separated in 2008 and I have regretted that decision everyday since.
awesomesalsa 10y ago
I separated after working in a toxic squadron.
Some days I really miss it but overall I don't think my life now is that much worse than when I was in.
robesta 10y ago
The military is a great tool for poor people to improve themselves and for other people to get a leg up on their peers.
I wasn't poor, but I used ROTC to pay for school and got to lead men right out of college. Where else can you have 40 people working for you or if college and 200 working for you a few short years later. This leadership and discipline translates well into the private sector. I wouldn't trade the adventures and learning points I had in the military for anything.
awesomesalsa 10y ago
Even a billion dollars? lol
robesta 10y ago
I would in fact trade it for a billion dollars.
Douche. :)
TheRealMewt 10y ago
The military is fine as long as you realize that you're there to fight wars. I'm in the US Air Force and yes, I've experienced my fair share of heartache and female manipulation. We're all red pillers here, we've all gone through our own story or else we wouldn't be here. Military or otherwise, adopting TRP philosophy will improve your life.
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duckducklandwhale 10y ago
You have to remember those initial contracts are actually 8 years no matter wha. So if you're out by 21 you can still be recalled by the IRR. I suppose theres also Reserve but then you have to deal with possible activation. lol
Other than that, even though in summation I hated the military I did learn a lot, enjoyed the people and camraderie, and it's quite the dough-maker for such a young age (esp with bonus or tours of duty). Also, nowadays because of RP I'd say most guys would know the pitfalls of the military marriage game and military groupies trying to get a free ride and could more effectively use that to their advantage.
robesta 10y ago
Great call. These guys have such a leg up on your standard college student....and they clean up on pussy.
wiseclockcounter 10y ago
except of course for the ones with no legs at all...
robesta 10y ago
This is a good point. If you're scared of dying or getting your legs blown off, don't join the military.
awesomesalsa 10y ago
If you have no game going into the military, you're not gonna magically have it after shooting at mudslimes for a few years. You might value fitness more than the average chump but that's about it.
robesta 10y ago
The maturity level of a 21-23 year old man who's been a Soldier and seen the world vastly outshines the typical 18 year old boy entering college. All my prior service buddies in college in their mid-twenties were banging a different girl every night and had decent game.
jjshinobi 10y ago
What can I tell to my friend who just joined the Navy? Besides avoiding textbook military female manipulation.
Captain_Unremarkable 10y ago
First, I'm far from being the oldest and wisest person on the internet, reddit, or this sub, so I may not be the one to give advice.
However, I would start by stop saying "support the troops".
Beyond that, you can show him what the consequences of going to war are.
Here's a video of PTSD. If, god forbid, he thinks he is incapable of "catching" PTSD, he is naive beyond saving.
Here is an HBO documentary on the subject. It will probably get removed from Youtube soon.
Here is an article about the VA system. It highlights the lack of support veterans receive; joining the military may seem like a good $ deal now, but he must know he is being used and abandoned by our government. It only gets worse.
More than anything, understand that being anti-war and anti-military in this country means that you will be attacked. Americans are so desperate to believe in the idea that they are fighting For Something (i.e. "freedom") that they will alienate you for expressing an opinion that acknowledges the evil and corruption that is now integral to our society.
Good luck.
MrRexels 10y ago
Did you just link a Salon article to support an argument in TRP?
robesta 10y ago
Soldiers are not responsible for the military industrial complex. That's politicians.
KyfhoMyoba 10y ago
What if the politicians threw a war and nobody (soldiers) came?
Did you hear about those post WWII trials at that city, what was it, Nuremberg?
robesta 10y ago
They did: http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vietnam_War
So you're blaming individual German Soldiers and not Hitler for the German military industrial complex WWII? That 15 year old German kid who got drafted is a fucking monster.
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_was_the_German_army_conscripted_in_World_War_2
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TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
Yeah, she should've depended on a man because raising a child requires a father, a child requires attention, a child needs more than any one parent can give.
They're purposely neglecting a child with their decision making. We protect children in an overbearing fashion in EVERY OTHER WAY, but we're totally cool with single moms.
[deleted] 10y ago
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TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
this is a rare case and i'm sorry about it.
but i can't judge things on the exception.
[deleted] 10y ago
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TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
good to hear that.
i've seen men and women who grew up without mothers. they're more well-adjusted than single mom kids, but still have setbacks.
FloranHunter 10y ago
I suspect that women raised by single fathers are actually better LTR prospects than women raised by a mother, with or without a father. Assuming the father isn't a card-carrying feminist, it's one of the only ways to seriously reduce the influence of feminine entitlement on children. Mothers could do this too but don't because their 5 closest friends determine most of their beliefs and personality.
zuk1 10y ago
meh i disagree with this. you can make a mistake in dating the wrong person and not continue to do it for the rest of your life.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
its a massive mistake, the biggest one a woman can make.
there is no male equivlanrt, that's how poor it is
zuk1 10y ago
there is a male equivalent. lots of men are in relationships with women who treat them like absolute shit/walk all over them. the 'blue pill' is the male equivalent. you're talking rubbish
[deleted] 10y ago
As the child of a single mother I'd like to mention that it can really fuck you up.
I got blue pilled so hard I was identifying as a feminist without even correlating it to female approval or sex by 12. No positive male role models. She didn't care about my needs just some bullshit outline of "provider" she had that wasn't concerned with my success only with her need to provide exactly the minimal amount of care. I was 300 lbs at 15 and before I started high school I had spent 5 years jacking off in the basement because she decided to home school me after my dad died; I had no clue about callories or the outside world beyond daytime talk shows and national geographic, my upbringing was fat positive and whenever I voiced concerns she said "You're fine" or "Your sister got a growth spurt around your age and thinned out, don't worry that will happen for you". The woman smoked my college fund, 2 packs a day of Marlboro full flavor for 12 years is like 2 new cars, she still smokes more than a pack a day but it's a cheaper brand that makes me sick. She threw most of my dad's hard earned money at stupid shit, the smartest and dumbest together was investing in the housing market; 5 condos 35-40k a piece near downtown, off a main road, but she never developed 1 of the 5 in 14 years! wasting hundreds per month and when the economy got just a little sketch she would switch one to section fucking 8, lowering the value of all of her neighboring apartments! You can't even take them off section 8 after the section 8 motherfucker moves out! and in this whole time she never got a job.
I could barely find a girl to hold my hand in high school because all of the poison she raised me in.
Any more explanation would make this way more personal than it needs to be but I swear to god don't have kids unless you can get them through high school with two parents otherwise you will fuck them up at the least; and if you ever decide to home school your kids, either have a big family and home school them together or force them onto local home school sports teams, do not take parenting advice from a lazy 7 year old. Never home school a kid past 8th grade if they are too weird, and they will be, throw them into a cheap, somewhat small, private school.
This shit is why I am so adamant about divorce and whoredome. The laws make it too easy and profitable for women to just quit their marriages, it's disposable to them and they don't care about the success of their children; to them success is basic needs and providing them grandchildren it doesn't include happiness. Women are about propagating the species not about improving the lives of people in society. Whores are one broken condom or bad decision away from ruining 3+ peoples lives, not to mention any damn woman that has fucked somebody other than the man she marries and has kids with is FAR more likely to throw her marriage away.
Edit: Thank You, to whomever gilded this.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
yuuuuuup.
men without fathers are hopelessly lost souls, forced to be their own role model. i had my father for 17 years and even though he was a walking piece of shit he got me into sports and shit.
but i disliked him so much and idolized my mother that i had so many poor qualities
strangestdude 10y ago
Those simple words describe so much.
(Son of a single parent.)
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
i had a dad but he was shit and split when i was 18
so i'm my own role model but at least i got a few ideas
[deleted] 10y ago
Definitely my experience and it just hasn't worked out well; at least it hasn't in early life.
[deleted] 10y ago
But sometimes the man is still there, as a fuck buddy or trying to be, while the woman is pursuing a relationship with a beta victim.
H42 10y ago
The single mom I married refused to have a kid with me because "I would love that kid more than the one she already had." Without any discussion with me, she had an IUD installed by Planned Parenthood one week after we married. Effectively sterilizing herself insofar as there being any chance of her getting pregnant by me.
She divorced me in only 2.5 years, telling me the day before Valentines Day that we were divorcing, so I "wouldn't waste my time getting her anything nice.".
PaulMurrayCbr 10y ago
Your affections, your heart, are just a computer game to these people.
GC0W30 10y ago
Say what you will, in that moment she was being better to you than 99% of women are.
exit_sandman 10y ago
Why again did you marry her in the first place?
MasonJarTeaDrinker 10y ago
I'm asking myself the same question
[deleted] 10y ago
Well at least you're not on the hook for child support. Silver linings and all that.
FloranHunter 10y ago
Huh? If he acted like the father to her kid then he's likely on hook for child support. Biology only matters if there isn't a wealthier man to rationalize robbing.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
yuuuuup.
if i opened up a topic on this on AskReddit, you would get a million stories like this
CostOfSpartan 10y ago
Do it man, I could use a good shitstorm right now.
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jagrmeister721 10y ago
The Heroic Single Mom™. One of the Big Lies of feminism. We are supposed to think of the single mom as noble; yet having a child out of wedlock was her fault. Yeah, both could have used protection. But the woman knows the consequence of childhood affects her directly. She could have used protection. She could have used birth control. She could have used Plan B afterwards. She could have had an early-term abortion. According to Health.com, there are at least 12 different kinds of birth control and 100s of options amongst them. The Single Mom imbecile used none.
Why? Baby rabies. That's it. She told herself she MUST have a child, and knowingly brought a child into a broken home and poverty (40% of single moms are BELOW the poverty line). Children are the victims of a reckless woman who could not tame her instincts, could not take the time and effort to find a quality man and form a stable relationship, ignored every option to prevent the pregnancy from happening - and then has the gall to blame the man involved for "chickening out". That man never wanted a child and she knows it. You never go full retard; and as a woman, you should never have a child out of wedlock. The responsibility falls on her and instead she invents the culprit of "fatherlessness", a tale of supposedly cowardly men who ran. Anyone who knows anything about this knows it's a Trap -- there was never any agreed upon intent by the man involved to have a kid. Going full retard is made possible through transfer payments -- from us to these Heroic Single Moms™.
Now it's almost 50% of babies born in the US are to Heroic Single Moms™. And rising: http://www.cbsnews.com/news/almost-half-of-first-babies-in-us-born-to-unwed-mothers/
The next generation of children deserve better. Unfortunately, they're going to get much worse. With no father in the house, and no true adult supervision, one can only wonder what kind of childhood these kids will have.
[deleted] 10y ago
The best of single moms (the ones who still are attractive, low degree of narcissism, actually care about their child) are problematically as incentivised to juice a up and coming high-value guy. It's why the "best" single moms always tend to date slightly younger guys who are not yet wise to the ways of the world, but have quite high earning potential.
Even if she does everything right and is not a full out entitlement princess, even if she doesn't pass on her abandonment trauma to her son and try to con you into marriage early and use her kid as a guilt trip for you all the time... That means she knows how to prioritize her kid, as a mother should, and it by proxy means she is going to view you in a more logical, functionality-based fashion than a woman who you actually knocked up would. If she's more logical than women, you're screwed, and if she's more emotional than most women (aka most single moms), then you're screwed too.
When the "best" of a category is something you want to avoid and it goes downhill from there...
Side note:
Most guys I know actually like kids. I like kids, they do dumb shit that reminds me of the ways humans are actually intelligent before we fuck them up. When things go bad between you and a single mother, you abruptly lose the relationship with the kid, and she bad mouths you to him.
It is shitty because the kid is thinking you abandoned him too, because the mom tells the same story over and over again, so the kid can see her as this resilient "hero" figure. You should not subject yourself to this nonsense, it is unhealthy for you and far more depressing than a normal breakup, because you do bond with these kids easily since you feel so bad for them having no male role model. Many a sensible guy has been turned into a captain-save-a-hoe by the guilt of "walking out" on a single mom and kid who "needs him". Some guys just love feeling needed and integral to a woman and kid who idolizes them - this is largely a lie, they are not integral, but rather their provisions and emotional support are. Male hamstering tends to manifest in this type of "responsibility-hamstering" where the male convinces himself the woman will up and starve if he leaves. No, she'll juice the next beta bucks, go on your way and watch a new Captain-Save-a-Ho in the picture.
When the single mom comes into the music vid, you know E-40 knows what's up. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7vQSPBtwyc
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
Exactly. This post is even better than mine.
H42 10y ago
A friend from high school married a single mom. She convinced him to adopt her 9yo daughter. One month later, she filed for divorce and he got stuck making child support payments for a decade.
realdev 10y ago
wow... that's pretty obscene.
exit_sandman 10y ago
And then they wonder when some poor schlub goes postal "out of the blue".
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trudatness 10y ago
This happened to a friend of mine, except he was with the kids for 8 years.
Two weeks after he moved out - his replacement moved in.
MasonJarTeaDrinker 10y ago
Your friend sir, is an idiot.
Ill_mumble_that 10y ago
No way. He had found his One True Love™ and he was going to help raise another man's spermling with her, he even made a commitment to that spermling on-top of a commitment to her! All this free commitment he gave her was supposed to make her vagina eternally wet.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
Good News Everyone!
This could happen to you!
Ill_mumble_that 10y ago
But professor Farnsworth, what about equal rights and justice? Could it be that women only want rights for themselves but don't care what happens to everyone else?
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
Good News Everyone!
Women only want to be a man so far as taking all the good things while ignoring all the mental strain and judgment and struggle and consequences that come with it.
Captain_Unremarkable 10y ago
One month of marriage led to 120 months of child support? Your friend must have had a terrible divorce attorney.
t21spectre 10y ago
I'm willing to bet he didn't have an attorney and that's why he got fucked hard. An attorney would of told him NOT to adopt her child to begin with.
Always consult an attorney and have them review any legal documents before you sign them.
[deleted] 10y ago
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2comment 10y ago
That's like handing the biological dad a Get out of Jail card for free by volunteering for serfdom till the kid is 18 in his place.
RedBigMan 10y ago
Yeah if all he did was marry her he wouldn't have been stuck with child support. That would have fallen to biodad.
PS: Textbook case of Briffault's Law
awesomesalsa 10y ago
He adopted the kid. Divorce has nothing to do with it.
SleepingSheeple 10y ago
I see this sentiment on reddit a lot: "You got a legal ruling that was not good for you? The only explanation could be a bad attorney! The legal system could never be unfair!"
People need to realize that the quality of attorney's does not vary that greatly. They are all working with basically the same set of laws and evidence for any given case.
He didn't have a bad attorney. He had a bad set of laws.
[deleted] 10y ago
Yeah but like my Uncle ( a lawyer), he plays golf and hangs out with a huge network of Judges and Lawyers .... it's not so black and white
awesomesalsa 10y ago
You think it's a bad law that if you adopt a kid you're on the hook for CS if you split up with the mom? No one made the guy adopt. He went from step-dad to legal dad and it wasn't the state that made that choice.
marzoopial 10y ago
You are misinformed. Divorce has zero to do with child support.
As soon as you adopt a child you are on the hook for support.
In many cases you do not even have to adopt - just being perceived as a fatherly figure in some states will put a man on the hook for support.
If a lawyer can convince a judge that you've acted in a fatherly role to a child who is not already accounted for in the child support system, you will pay.
jjshinobi 10y ago
How does one avoid acting as a fatherly role when in a relationship with single mothers?
T-bear96 10y ago
Don't get in a relationship with single mothers.
un-affiliated 10y ago
Don't pay any bills for the child. Don't do things alone with the child.
The best advice is that you run immediately if there isn't a man already on the hook for support. You can acquire responsibility, but never authority.
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recoveringdeleted 10y ago
Well the first step is to completely disassociate from the children, do not learn their names, if you ever see the child you should immediately turn away and put it out of your mind, if the mother mentions the child in conversation you should immediately start humming as loudly as possible and change the conversation, and if the child should ever approach you you will need to attack it, as savagely as possible, do not stop beating the child until it drags itself away from you, make sure you get in plenty of head shots so as to induce a concussion/amnesia/brain damage and keep the child from remembering ever confronting you.
Or you could just... avoid doing something as stupid and damaging to your life as being in a relationship with a single mother, that would probably be the best option.
visibleinvisible 10y ago
Verily I LOL'ed. Truly. Loudly. And repeatedly. You, sir, have a talent for comedy.
[deleted] 10y ago
Haha nice imagery to drive home the point. Upvote
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MajorStyles 10y ago
Another thing to remember is that in the USA, the single mother sees herself as a hero. The physical embodiment of a strong independent woman.
Perhaps in another time and place, taking a run with a single mom had some value due to the fact that society would have shamed her into humility.
Those days are over.
Today's single mother has destroyed lives, and she's damn proud of it, mister.
FloranHunter 10y ago
Today men are expected to support single mothers and fatherless children. Most still don't be that only fuels the misandry fires. In the past, as you say, she would have been humble. More from material need than shame, I suspect, but still enough to genuinely view her new man as a good person.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
women don't realize they've traded their submission to a good man to submission to the government and their boss…aka the patriarchy
LineOfCoke 10y ago
still the case with single mothers in certain religous groups.
korewarp 10y ago
I could totally see how stepping in for an indian single mom or an arabic single mom would be amazing. She can't pull any "It's not yours" shit. If people find out she's dead - either literally or socially. Single mother's are elevated to hero status in my country too. It's disgusting and absolutely pants-on-head retarded.
exit_sandman 10y ago
Only because she can't do that doesn't really make it amazing.
[deleted] 10y ago
Upvote for "pants on head retarded."
MajorStyles 10y ago
sure. I think in previous eras, where a feminist media was not on her side, the single mothers would not become so belligerently arrogant and mean spirited.
Now, in the US, it's as if all the major forms of entertainment are working together to marry these bitches off to beta providers.
RedBigMan 10y ago
And even with the media encouraging it people are still running the other fucking way! Goes to show you just how fucked up something is when you need to social engineer a culture to accept something that bullshit.
awesomesalsa 10y ago
Arabic is a language. Arab is an ethnicity.
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redpillbanana 10y ago
Anyone who wants to date/marry a single mother needs to read this first:
http://redditlog.com/snapshots/922425
angry--napkin 10y ago
Good for him for recognizing a situation and reacting to it quickly with swift and forceful judgement. It does seem like he's ignored the signs for too long though.
EDIT: Added "though"
Fulgidus 10y ago
He payed all the college + car +food&shelter... For me that's too long... But a least he contained the damage when shit hit the fan... Moving the money right away was indeed a good move...
redpillbanana 10y ago
You could almost hear the audible snap that must have happened in his brain when it was announced that "REAL DAD" would be giving away the bride.
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socio_j 10y ago
I really like your posts TheeRyanGrey, keep it up!
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
living a shitty life has turned out to be helpful
drewbaccha 10y ago
Lotta nerves are gonna get struck by bringing up the dreaded single mother. The op is essentially right. It is unwise for most men to pursue single moms. The sex comes with a massive attachment and the man will always be second. Furthermore, what advantage is there to raising another man's bastard spawn? The hope that the child will grow up to be responsible and care for you in the twilight years of your life? You can have better odds and less debt in vegas, my friends.
I have never met a single mother who wasnt a widower that made good life decisions.
AFPJ 10y ago
A woman who couldn't even choose and hold onto a decent man is the pinnacle of biological failure: it's the only fucking thing women were evolved to do. Alas, everything has its place. Provider seeking hyper-drive with a pinch of desperation makes for the perfect pump and dump, probably even easier than a good portion of sluts.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
While true, I'm trying to avoid such harsh, Machiavellian statements.
We have a lot of new members and I want to ease them in.
noteventrying 10y ago
That is quite the claim. Women have a different reproductive strategy than men. In TRP we call it AFBB. The idea is to get "good genes" for your kids from an "alpha" but have someone else pay for the kid because most likely that alpha was outta their LTR league. Nowadays the government, aka tax money of responsible people, pays for it so why not secure "good" genes for your bastard kids.
We, living organisms, were only evolved to do only one thing: increase our genes' frequencies in the gene pool.
AFPJ 10y ago
AF doesn't work without BB; a woman unable to a secure the latter is a prime example of natural selection.
Cyralea 10y ago
Not true anymore. If she can raise her kid to the point where he procreates she has succeeded, at least evolutionarily. Historically one wouldn't get to this point without the BB portion; food, shelter, and security were not givens.
Today the government largely takes care of that. Single moms are technically evolutionary winners, even if they're trash in our eyes.
tixzq 10y ago
technically with no foresight. so not really, current social structures just created artificial environment that is unsustainable in the long run. nature will correct human errors, eventually.
AFPJ 10y ago
Technically, every time a spinster gets bucked off the CC a short, skinny, feminized semi-intelligent beta with a 50K+ income becomes an evolutionary winner. But they're not trash in our eyes. They're trash in everyone's eyes.
Because they're trash. There is no such thing as a technically evolutionary winner.
noteventrying 10y ago
Calling something the pinnacle of evolutionary failure is an outrageous claim. Look around you and tell me how many fatherless children are dying of starvation vs those with fathers.
Youre right that women need BB but sometimes BB comes in different forms. There are different kinds of societal arrangements. In some societies children Identify with their mothers' tribe in part because paternity may not be known or men dont stick around. In our society parents often act as BB for their pumped and dumped daughter.
AFPJ 10y ago
Not getting out of the middle or lower class is the new death by starvation.
FTFY
noteventrying 10y ago
Only gene frequencies matter, bro. Evolution doesn't care about what you think of the results. The process doesn't have any values besides... increased or decreased gene frequencies over time.
For example, fertility rates and intelligence are now inversely correlated. why dont you write a letter to evolution complaining about it?
The middle class is dying, anyways.
AFPJ 10y ago
Shit's about to get meta, read for your own amusement.
TL;DR globalization ensures survival therefore quality trumps quantity.
Idiocracy is one of my favorite movies, it's a comedy that implies what you're saying. In our current climate, Evolution favors intelligence. It is Natural Selection that favors fertility rates, but we've recently suspended Natural Selection altogether via welfare.
Your inference of "the smart will get out-bred and disappear" makes sense initially but history disagrees - a small ruling class has stood atop virtually every society. Most present dynasties (Carlyle, Capetian, Roth) have been breeding selectively for both IQ and health for quite some time now.
Even among less prestigious families there is a bias toward safeguarding lineage rather than rampantly procreating because if you come from an established family, your genes are a competitive advantage, much like insider knowledge - or any kind of knowledge: the less people have it, the more beneficial it is.
Globalization is changing the game. Historically, the ruling class would be extinguished or at least in for a really rough time if its society underwent conquest or revolution - now money is good everywhere. If a family has sufficiently diverse capital and their society goes under, they can preserve most of their wealth and move to another.
At the risk of sounding tinfoil hat ish, queue the super-dynasty train which will likely out-live the massive fertility rates pouring out of third world countries. Politicians and government officials get lynched, the people bankrolling them go unscathed - and so the ball keeps rolling down the yellow brick road.
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4to4 10y ago
The thing about a single mother is that the child always comes first. Always. And it is not your child. It will never be your child. The second the woman has a disagreement with you she will remind you that it is not your child. Count on it.
Hyooge 10y ago
And she will conveniently forget about the finances and support you put into her child when you want to do something with her child she disapproves of.
RedPillington 10y ago
or she uses the child to get what she wants, which i have seen tons of times first-hand.
RPtooLate 10y ago
The child only comes first as far as beta providers are concerned. Watch if some half-alpha badboy becomes interested in her and see how quickly the mom's needs are repurposed as the mom's needs.
I'm starting to think that women aren't primarily geared to raise children, but that they are primarily geared to acquire resources, often in the form of social capital or an alpha male. Children are typically a woman's primary tool for acquiring resource, but observe what happens when they start to get in the way of what a woman subconciously believes is her best option of acquiring alpha.
KyfhoMyoba 10y ago
This is where the Susan Smiths come from (bitch drowned (?) her kids so she could be free to get with a new man).
visibleinvisible 10y ago
There is an age beyond which the spawn becomes alienated to the dam, and this is related to the relative independence. The two major breakpoints are school-age (6 y.o.) and adolescence (12 y.o.). Maternal affections are increasingly susceptible to dissolution past these breakpoints.
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648262 10y ago
But you never come first, not with anyone.
redpillschool Admin 10y ago
♂
MartialWay 10y ago
The child comes first and she comes second. Who wants to be a distant third in their own house?
trpbot 10y ago
Confirmed: 1 point awarded to /u/4to4 by redpillschool. ^[History]
[This is an Automated Message]
LineOfCoke 10y ago
not always the case. Ive encountered single moms who are dying for a coparent father figure and get mad whn you choose not to intervene because you feel its not yoir business.
awesomesalsa 10y ago
Could it be they're looking for someone to back up their parenting decisions? There's not a parent in the world who's going to get mad at you for telling the kid to obey mom/dad. Now if you have different ideas of how to raise the child than the mom does, you better not say shit lol
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
yuuuuuup.
even worse is the single mothers who see their children as a burden. they hate themselves and thus their children who are, essentially, them.
eccentricrealist 10y ago
Son of a "single" mother here, I think the guy who's dating my mom's a loser and my father's knew she was a psycho so he got out. They usually tell us not to hate on our mothers and all but it's not right that I'm 19 and I have to be the emotional rock in the household for the woman who raised me.
Algermas 10y ago
I was forced to lead and guide my mother out of making fucktarded financial decisions at the tender age of 12.
So much for womyn don't need no man.
Ill_mumble_that 10y ago
Ah, the day a boy surpasses his mother on the maturity scale, leaving her behind in teenagerhood.
RedPillington 10y ago
be willing to cut ties with her when you get out. that shit is abusive and it took until my mom died for me to figure it out. if she's not insane, she would want the best for you. if she doesn't want you to make the choices that are best for you, she's either misguided or not worth your time.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
Exactly. I was in the same boat as you. Came back from college to try and start my life, ended up having to be her emotional support because she lost it.
But I came back from college with the red pill in me so i watched like a fly on the wall and saw all the things i used to ignore.
-When things were going well with her and new boyfriend, I was the enemy.
-When things went bad, I was her best friend.
-When me and boyfriend realized we got along and spent time together without her, she ran to her parents.
-She continuously tried turning us against each other.
I could go on and on but yeah, seeing your mother for what she really is is the most tragic but eye opening experience in a man's life.
mikicoockie 10y ago
Whoa. These patterns place you as her beta orbiter. That's weird man. If you didn't see it before at least now you have some perspective over how it shouldn't have been like that.
FloranHunter 10y ago
How alpha was your dad? Like, biological dad.
teeelo 10y ago
Sorry to hear about that Man.
TRP is not a support group but just having it in my life makes me so much more content with the world.
Cut all the lies and BS away and you are left with a small manageable amount of shit to deal with.
Good luck to you
visibleinvisible 10y ago
You may have found the Buddha. Congratulations are due.
Ill_mumble_that 10y ago
This is profound. It could be the alternate tagline of TRP or MGTOW.
Scoundrel_ 10y ago
A lot of the time, there's animosity toward the ex who fathered the child. The child serves a constant reminder of the ex whom she now resents...
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awesomesalsa 10y ago
damn dude
that's some real shit
I'm sorry :(
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teeelo 10y ago
Imagine for a moment how depressing it is to know that you were essentially the product of irresponsibility by your parents.
Now realize that most of us are like this.
FloranHunter 10y ago
Hey now, I'm the product of my mother wanting to tie down my father.
Which is pretty funny, actually. She told me that my father told her that having his children would tie him down. A decade later I asked him and he told me that he did not phrase it that way and definitely not with that intent.
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visibleinvisible 10y ago
My sire desired the first two, but he abandoned us all in the end.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
At least she was honest!
Most engineers tend to be boring as fuck.
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awesomesalsa 10y ago
A lot of the redneck/ghetto arrogance one sees is a protective defensive mechanism against a society that views them as lesser beings. But deep down they do feel inferior which is why they partake in such self-destructive activities: crime, drugs, smoking, promiscuous sex, violence, etc. Sad really.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
I went to one of the top engineering schools in the country. A lot of my close friends are Engineers. Smart as a whip. Great conversation.
Boring as shit. So mechanical and predictable.
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TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
Engineering requires 100% effort and concentration. I get it. I respect your craft.
FloranHunter 10y ago
And outside of school, those guys end up doing the boring-as-shit work while more personable guys, that management and executives actually wants to talk to (or at least can stand), do the more entertaining work. Usually make more money too.
Meglomaniac 10y ago
That is the single worst thing.
She gets with you because you are a strong man who can lead.
You try to lead and discipline the child.
If she disagrees, it now becomes "her" child, and she overrules you.
You now lose face to the wife, and child.
IMHO, the only single mom that is acceptable is a widow. Its not cause shes a slut, etc. And even then... you're still raising someone elses child.
Cross_of_Coronado 10y ago
So much this!
This is a game that you can't win. And I'm not saying, that you can win if you just try super-super-hard. It's like playing roulette and betting everything on 612AB. I guarantee you, that 612AB will NEVER come, no matter what society tells you.
Mein_Tarnaccount 10y ago
Nonononono, never go widow. You'll never live up to the picture they have of their lost hubby, which will get more whitewashed with every passing year, with every fight you have, with every time she stumbles upon a photo of him or hears his name. For a widow, you'll always just be a replacement for the man she lost.
Edit: oh, and the picture she has of him won't age. He'll always stay young in her head while you're bound to get fat and wrinkly.
Meglomaniac 10y ago
You may have a point, my point was that the only semi acceptable single mom is one that lost one to something that wasnt caused by her.
xxxnosc0p3rxxx 10y ago
maybe wrinkly but not fat. at least before rather 'geriatric' ages.
compoundlasher 10y ago
Not sure that I can agree with this. My father married my mother who was widowed and he is my father through and through. My father was a stoic provider and my mother knew she was extremely fortunate considering her circumstances. The father who passed away was also a great person and it is sad, but that doesn't mean the world ends there. You can definitely be the father to a child that isn't your own, you just make them your own.
My father was my father regardless of blood. I admire the man, put 3 kids through college, built up his own business and ran his house with an iron fist.
Edit: But you know, these /are/ different times.
FloranHunter 10y ago
To make italics, surround text with single asterisks. Double for bold.
2FAM0US 10y ago
your situation worked because the real father was not in the picture. the new man was able to guiltlessly step in. it gets awkward when the dad is alive and still has visitation, then its confusing who is raising the kid. i would never raise another mans kid, obviously, but i would also not want someone else trying to raise mine (unless i am dead or incarcerated for life). but the absolute worst is when the father is alive and well, but absent. he is out fucking other women, while you toil away to provide for his kid. then 15 years later the real dad reappears and decides to be a father again. at that point the kids might (and should) reject his advances, as he is not a good father. at that point, you are the closest thing they have to a dad. but sometimes they still choose him over you. go to TRP all-time top-posts, there is one that describes that very situation. pathetic
compoundlasher 10y ago
I completely agree, but I was responding to the guy who was saying that you shouldn't make a life with a widow.
Cross_of_Coronado 10y ago
Gotta say, a widow is less shitty than a "regular" single mom. She might NOT have made the wrong choice and found the perfect man. Which of course makes it all the harder for you.
ZankerH 10y ago
It's not about her choices. Her choices are irrelevant to her SMV. A single mother has lost both things that validated her as a human being on the sexual market, it really doesn't matter how that came about.
PaulMurrayCbr 10y ago
It, ahh, really depends on how the ex died. A favourite is eyedrops in the coffee. It creates hypertension that looks just like a regular heart attack.
Incidentally, never get in a serious relationship with a nurse or a doctor.
manwhy 10y ago
Wait, what. Please elaborate.
visibleinvisible 10y ago
Methinks that a healthcare provider could find deadlier apothecaria still.
http://www.wired.com/2013/03/just-an-eye-drop-of-poison/
(Confirmed:visine can kill, but often doesn't)
Glenbert 10y ago
Here's the thing about that: she's in the right. And it's ultimately the guy who is in the wrong for thinking that the natural order of things didn't apply to him.
awesomesalsa 10y ago
Couldn't disagree more. You can't have it both ways. If you don't want a man to have an equal say in how you raise your biological child, don't marry him and expect him to support you and your kid.
Glenbert 10y ago
Get ready to disagree more.
You're conflating biology with a social/legal construct. It's like saying "if the sky doesn't want society to be wet, then it shouldn't rain on us!"
The sky doesn't actually give a shit what society wants. And neither does hypergamy. If you are a man and you don't think hypergamy applies to you, then you get what you deserve. Wet.
awesomesalsa 10y ago
damn dude, i hate to use a feminist term but stop blaming the victim
When you've spent your whole life steeped in a culture that denies biological differences between the sexes and biology in general insofar as biology reaches politically incorrect conclusions, you can't really blame someone for doing dumb shit.
I know for a fact that you haven't always been "red pill" so get the fuck off your high horse and stop looking down on people who think like you used to.
Glenbert 10y ago
Your, my DNA has been screaming at us since the day we were born but we chose to ignore and decide to try to fit in, believing that we were special snowflakes and that the rules didn't apply to us.
Well, they do apply to us, no matter how we were raised. Telling you this is no more being on a high horse than telling you "oh snap, I got burned and the stove is hot. Don't touch it!"
At any rate, if you are red pill you accept that you have always been the captain and that the mistakes the ship makes are your fault.
http://marriedmansexlife.com/2013/02/captain-and-first-officer-when-the-marriage-is-slamming-into-icebergs/
awesomesalsa 10y ago
The captain has more responsibility than the first mate but the captain cannot control everything the first mate does. If the first mate murders the second mate the captain is not charged for that. You have an extremely oversimplified view of the world. You can be red pill without thinking that a man is always to blame for what women do. In fact that sounds exactly like what feminists think.
Glenbert 10y ago
In that case the man choose poorly. As we say to women all the time, "there's no way he just woke up one day and started abusing you. There had to have been signs."
Same applys to selecting a murderous wife. There had to have been signs.
Taking grater ownership of all the crap in my own life has been a source of calm and freedom from anxiety.
Give it a try.
awesomesalsa 10y ago
I agree with you but you were far too harsh with your phrasing.
How about, "Although it's nice to think that hypergamy doesn't apply to you, it will so act accordingly. Don't say you haven't been warned."
Have some compassion
hexag1 10y ago
So there no such thing as events outside of sometimes control?
Then how were you born?
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
that was a good one, thank you for the laugh. this sub needs more humor.
And there are no 100% or absolutes, but we do not plan our lives around rarities and exceptions. that would be foolish.
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priusowner666 10y ago
I was having drinks at a bar a couple of months ago and met a very attractive young woman so we started chatting, she was about 26 and told me she had an 8 year old daughter. As soon as I heard that I zoned out. She gave me her number before she left and I threw it away. Avoid them like the plague. Don't let their mistake (kids) become yours. Just my humble opinion. I told a female coworker about it and she thought I was extremely shallow, but this is your future at stake, you don't want to be stuck with some other man's financial burden.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
Don't tell other women about your decision making process. They don't want to hear it because deep down they know it's an inevitability for them, so they react in an emotional manner.
Women choose flight over fight nearly every time
trudatness 10y ago
My thoughts on the subject:
(pasted from a submission I made 5 months ago)
I was having lunch with my cousin recently. He's an early 40's PT shredded up gym rat with the mind of Hannibal Lecter.
In his work he sees a steady stream of divorced sociopath MILFs parading around in yoga pants trolling for Alpha fux and Beta Bux. So he shoplifts a fair amount of pussy at his leisure. He likes the convenience of it. Dad gets kids on a certain schedule - he gets the pussy on those days.
"When are you free? Thursday this week? Come over around 8." He fucks them like a world class athlete (which they cannot get elsewhere) and they leave only to be seen on Dad's next scheduled day with the kids. One might say that Beta Bux chump gets visitation with kids - he gets visitation with pussy.
When they start to get weird and possessive - he nexts them.
Period - end of story. He's not taking on another man's responsibilities. Fuck that. He's a bachelor. He's not trying to get an instant family.
That's not to say he only exists on a diet of divorced MILFs, but the sheer volume of them in his proximity makes them an endless parade of unavoidable low hanging fruit.
My cousin is quite familiar with my divorce rape story. We were co-workers when it all went down. He saw the mind-bending bullshit I went through - and now that he's the dude that these pretty little hate machine types are fucking he's seeing it from a whole different angle.
He says to me "Tru... It's a pattern. You know what you went through? They all do it. It's a fucking inborn strategy. They all play it the same way."
What he's talking about is what a woman does when she's setting up the divorce rape. How premeditated it is. How purposeful it is. How they know EXACTLY what to do and how to do it.
Cousin continues, "They do the harshest, most depraved, plausibly deniable bullshit you can think of to piss the husband off. They push every button imaginable. They empty bank accounts. They run up credit cards. They have affairs. They fuck with their jobs. They try to have them arrested. They file restraining orders. They slander them to anyone and everyone. They keep the kids away from them. They play the most evil fucking head games you can imagine - and then when the husband loses his shit, curses them and tells them to go fuck themselves - they run to the court crying victim - and they get everything they want. They get the house, the money, the kids - everything. Then when it's over - they brag about it and high five each other. It's all a fucking game to them. Meanwhile the poor bastard ex lives in some hovel somewhere begging to see his kids."
So when my cousin sees these women behaving this way, do you think he has high opinion of these women? Fu-u-u-u-ck No he doesn't. He immediately purges any temptation to do anything other than spin these women as plates. He bangs them out and then laughs in their faces. They chase after him and try to lock him down with all kinds of bullshit stories a mile long, but he knows what kind of woman a divorced mom is - a crazy selfish bitch.
You know when they say AWALT? Well they're all potential wolves in sheep's clothing. Remember that. They all seems so sweet and pleasant - it's all an act. They try to run the I'm a victim con so you feel sorry for them and want to save them from their unfortunate circumstance. Remember they all fucked some guy up for life and took his kids from him just to get that check every month. Then they want to replace him with the next beta chump and manipulate paychecks out of two different thirsty losers. Some of them manage to get the chump to help her play the head game with the ex. It can be downright scary bad what bitches are capable of.
I'm sure you have seen all the "The kid calls me daddy now" memes where some unwitting fedora tipping rube brags about how he's sabotaged a child's relationship with his or her father - and then the circle jerk that follows where everyone congratulates him for being a moron. It happens all the time. The proof is everywhere.
All the padawans lurking need to know just what it is you risk. Not just in marriage, but when you get an offer to step up to the plate.
You see a single mom - you have to immediately assume she's a game playing POS who fucked over the baby daddy for a payday. These women are not worth your respect and admiration. You'd be fucking crazy to put them up on a pedestal and hand over your check every month. If you want to play the MILF rider game - you find out when Beta Bux daddy is picking up the kids and then you schedule them in for a pump and dump. That's it. Avoid anything else like the plague.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
I can't say this enough:
Women are the cruelest, most sadistic creatures imaginable. If they were stronger than us Law and Order: SVU would get real gross.
awesomesalsa 10y ago
They're cruel and sadistic BECAUSE they're weaker. They can't go head to head with a man but they can manipulate other people into hurting/killing/shunning the man
trudatness 10y ago
That's why I call them "Pretty little hate machines"
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trudatness 10y ago
It is - check my submission history (3 pages back)
ADDvanced 10y ago
You know... I think some of them probably play that angle. But don't you think some of them were just... naive? Maybe they honestly thought the dad was "the one", and wanted to have a life with him? And maybe he got lazy, maybe he got fat, maybe he quit trying at all, maybe he turned into an abusive piece of shit and she wanted out?
I enjoy the TRP for some interesting viewpoints that I hadn't considered, but the lumping of ALL women and ALL single moms into some hate filled rant just seems a bit excessive and strange to me.
trudatness 10y ago
The whole point of the rant is that yes, such a thing seems strange and excessive, but then you go out into the world and find out that it is not. Its eye-opening.
What I'm describing is the norm, albeit exhibited within a spectrum of varying intensity and efficacy.
They all want the check every month - Every. Single. One.
They all think it is owed to them - Every. Single. One.
They all try to get as much as they can - Every. Single. One.
They all - at some level - play dirty to ensure that they get what they feel they are entitled to - Every. Single. One.
The exceptions are very rare.
awesomesalsa 10y ago
When we say AFALT we're not saying that literally ever female on earth is like that. We are saying that you should not ever lull yourself into thinking that "this girl is different" because you're setting yourself up for failure there. With women it's always better to pass up the right one than get trapped by the wrong one.
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conspirized 10y ago
Serious question, because you seem to know what you're talking about.
I almost got roped in by a single Mom but backed off not because of the single parent aspect (I'm a single father with full custody myself) but because the amount of drama surrounding this girl and her friends just plain irritated me.
By your theory this girl would have been knocked up and then proceeded to drain her son's father dry while she pursues someone else. Problem is that she has her son full time, but has never pursued her son's father in court for child support - opting instead to work and provide for herself (with some babysitting assistance from her mom). She hasn't had a boyfriend in the 3 months I've known her, and the last one I've been made aware of was December of last year. She never asked me for anything more than the occasional cigarette. She also only introduced me to her son once and it was kind of accidental (I ran into them while she was out shopping).
My interpretation was that she was trying to play it off like she practically didn't have a kid by avoiding me during the hours where she had to take care of him and then coming around at night once he passed out. Unless I'm misunderstanding, this basically contradicts everything everyone is saying here.
I could probably still pursue something with this chick, but I have my reservations. If anything, this thread makes me more inclined to pursue because she sure as hell doesn't act like the women this entire thread is describing, unless I'm missing something. I'm used to women like that because my son's mother is most definitely one of them, I just don't get the same vibe from new girl. What do you think?
cray-cray-cray 10y ago
It doesn't contradict some posts above, that you may not have seen. Here's why you have a problem... what would be the point of her pretending to not have a child? Do you think she could keep that up if you move in together? Of course not.
I had an LTR with a single mom in the recent past, and I'll be honest... as a single dad, it was attractive to me for a lot of reasons. Her son had all kinds of abandonment issues, and I was going to fix it all. It ended badly, like so many other stories in this thread, and for many of the same reasons. I'd explain, but others already have already explained way better.
Xiudo 10y ago
Simple,
Her ex was an alpha_fux with no money or means to provide you can't get blood from a turnip. You on the other hand are ripe for the picking.
trudatness 10y ago
She doesn't have to take him to court right then and there. She can wait 5-6-7-8 years and then yank him into court and slap him with an arrearage of multiple tens of thousands.
Maybe baby daddy is a broke dick drug addict or some shit, and she knows she's not going to get shit out of him and doesn't want to bother. Or maybe she doesn't want her kid to see the baby daddy and going to court to get support setup will also have the effect of getting visitation setup - which she doesn't want.
Too many unknown variables to make a real determination here of what the truth is.
However, there is enough to realize the situation is fucked up somehow.
Sounds to me like she's trying to put on the I'm not trying to lock you into the daddy role vibe. But really, let's face it, all roads with this chick will lead to you stepping up into the role of family man protector, even though she's mindful not to scare you off from jump street.
The only semi-reasonable situation that could potentially give you an indication of her not being a total cunt is if she has a shared 50-50 agreement with baby daddy with no support and he is respected as an equal parent in her kids lives.
Then she would be acting like a self supportive adult looking out for the best interests of her children. Without that setup, you know there are shenanigans happening.
You get with a woman who has a kid, then its like a Brady Bunch situation. Could work, but you'd have to vet the woman with the above mentioned criteria. You'd also want to speak with the baby daddy and make sure everyone involved is a grown up. So much potential to get sideways on you, though.
Would take one special-ass fucking bitch to lay out that risk. I don't know about you, but I haven't seen many single mother unicorns running around.
You already have children. You don't need more. What reason do you have to get serious and be married? Your baby mama is a shithead. Focus on being a good father. That is your priority. Those kids are more important than your sex life.
Any woman that sniffs around, make sure you keep it casual. If grandma and grandpa are willing to occasionally step in and let you have some social outlets, that would be ideal. Best case scenario for you is to keep a casual GF who is not your priority, but chills with you when you get a break.
If you can PUA easily, then fuck - scrap the GF idea and bang strange when you get that occasional night out.
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RPtooLate 10y ago
How old are you? I'm trying to think about these things in my own context. At my age it's weird if a woman doesn't have kids.
I hate to be foolhardy but this girl does seem reasonable. I think that the important part here is to analyze these kinds of situation with a more redpill frame.
So the old blue pill frame of mind we want to fall in love. We would see past the flaws of a significant other and realize we had flaws ourselves. We would expose our vulnerability to women and expect likewise. This would leave us a clingy, enthusiastic mess ripe for a sociopathic woman to come along and exploit.
Now realize that you are not looking for love or some unicorn. You are looking out at what's best for you. You do what's best for you while accepting any criticism or problem you have of your partner as a sign or problem that needs to be handled before it gets bigger. You know what I'm saying? You are in control. You don't owe her or her child anything, but if she follows your lead and makes you happy, besides sex, then perhaps hold your frame and continue on. However, I would advise against moving in together, getting married, or having more kids and in this case to understand the laws and obligations of your state regarding those things.
conspirized 10y ago
I'm only 26, but my son is 5 so I have to be especially mindful of allowing anyone to become a regular part of our lives.
This was me before the relationship with my son's mother went to hell. I adopted a lot of what the people around here talk about through my own experiences, I didn't even know TRP existed until a few months ago. I don't know if I have the "clout" to say that I've taken the red pill, but I definitely think the way that I think about things falls in line with the ideologies that make up this community. The main exception is that I really don't care about involving myself with women most of the time. I understand them all too well, but they're a headache that a lot of times I haven't wanted to deal with because I've got enough shit to handle just caring for my son and making sure I'm secure.
Things are slowing down, though, and my son has started developing relationships with the other kids and spends more and more of his time out running around with them as opposed to clinging to me and expecting my undivided attention. His mother is off of drugs, for now, so for two days a week I don't even have to worry about him - I've just got time to do whatever the hell I want. That's how I've found myself starting to go back to pursuing women a bit more actively, and in doing so the idea of some kind of ongoing relationship has started to feel more appealing than going out and hunting down some strange to bag and tag every week.
Herein lies the problem. Women without kids don't typically seem to be attracted to men with kids in a scope beyond casual hook-ups. There are exceptions and I'm certainly not saying I should settle for a single mom because I don't think I can get any better or it would be "easier," but as a parent I can say without a doubt that there are certain things about the way you think (priorities, acceptable behaviors, obligations, etc.) that rarely seem to be understood by someone who isn't also a parent. I lack the patience to deal with a chick who doesn't understand that being a parent is more than simply feeding and clothing a child. When it comes to women that I've taken even semi-seriously most of them over the past few years have in fact been single moms.
None of these things are even in my field of view right now. As long as I don't wife her and/or knock her up I'm not legally responsible for her child in any way, shape, or form.
cray-cray-cray 10y ago
I think the real issue is this - that they don't have their own responsibilities like that, and so they rightfully don't want to have someone else's, either.
That will change before long. As you know, it's a lot different having a 5 year old than a 2 year old. There are simply a lot of places a 2 year old can't go due to diapers, etc. There are a lot of places that won't allow a 5 year old, but things improve. In yet another 2-3 years, he'll be old enough to do a lot more. At the same time, those 18 year old girls who didn't want to hang out with a 2 year old will be 23 and not mind hanging out with a decently behaved 7 year old. As you both get older, it will continue to get easier as long as the kid lives your life, and not the other way around.
I've dated moms, and girls without kids too. It is nice to be first. My current LTR has no kids, and she mothers mine just like she were her own. She's actually more motherly than the actual mother. That's not even on my list of shit I care about, but it's a nice bonus.
As mentioned elsewhere, your own kid will be preselection for you before long.
trudatness 10y ago
You are a man taking care of his child, stepping up with full responsibility because mom is unreliable to share parenting.
You have acted with grace allowing mom back into the picture with visitations.
I'd say you have clout. You are a man doing what he has to when stepping up to meet challenges.
Just take this fully recognized priority of self and family into your dating life. You have a few days a week to enjoy a social life, don't be in such a hurry to get serious.
Be smart and manage well. Wait a while before you settle down into an LTR. Be cautious and picky about who you bring into your son's life.
theredpillager 10y ago
I think you're going to get a lot of replies saying you have oneitis, you're putting the pussy on a pedestal, and AWALT. She could have just been hiding the kid to get you to fall for her first to increase the likelihood you'd hang around once learning of the kid. Maybe she backed off because of the accidental kid meeting.
My cousin is a single mom and she dates complete losers who she ends up supporting so there are definitely exceptions to the rule. Maybe this girl is one, maybe not. I'm interested to see what others say.
conspirized 10y ago
That was another reason I backed off, the whole oneitis thing. I'm new here, still mostly a lurker, and I still don't understand the difference between oneitis and pursuing a long-term relationship. People told me I had "oneitis" for a cam girl I was considering hooking up with, so I either develop oneitis for every girl I encounter and multiple girls at a time or I am terrible at explaining myself. Either way, though, I figured I had the oneitis thing going on so I backed off a couple weeks ago and returned to pursuing other options on my Thursday & Friday nights. She's still floating around when I'm home at night the rest of the week unless I shoo her off, though.
theredpillager 10y ago
My point was that anytime anyone says they like a girl, a chorus of users usually lines up to call "oneitis!!!" You can actually like a girl, and that's fine. You just need to maintain an abundance mentality. You could leave her at any moment because she is easily replaceable. This is how you avoid oneitis.
conspirized 10y ago
Oh well shit, by that definition I'm clear then.
Cyralea 10y ago
There is no one as cold and calculating, as manipulative and ruthless as a single mom looking to secure provisions for her children. She can put on the sweetest demeanor on the outside, fuck like a champion in bed, but her thoughts are always focused inward on how she can get what's hers.
So many suckers get roped in by single moms who outplay them.
trudatness 10y ago
Often they use the children as an excuse to leverage more resources for themselves.
I can't tell you how many times I saw my ex wife in leather jackets, nice shoes and new outfits, but at the same time saw my son in high water pants and worn out shoes.
Even though I was shelling out high dollar child support, I was taking my kid shopping to get clothes and shoes, because it broke my heart to see him in rags.
Cyralea 10y ago
My close friend was paying for his ex to take her new boyfriend out to fancy dinners. Her new boyfriend had a high paying job too. Meanwhile he's eating cereal for half his meals and sharing an apartment with a roommate to make ends meet.
AWALT. She was a seemingly kind girl when she would hang out with us.
trudatness 10y ago
Its free money they think they deserve of course they are going to take it.
Look at the Bristol Palin dealio. She's got cash in the bank and a rich family. Fuck it though, why not not gank $25k a year out of baby daddy's $60k salary?
That's nice spending cash. Sure beats dipping into her savings.
Who cares if he and his wife are struggling to pay bills and survive? Its all about her and what she think she deserves.
AkaviriDragon 10y ago
I've been there! My father payed child support but my mother never bought me anything, so he had to pay for everything twice. I was almost underfed. She used all the money for herself. Eventually she sunk into debt by getting drunk and buying lottery tickets every other day then asking the bank for money for more lottery tickets ,then proceeded to manipulate everyone for money. She was and still is one of the most astonishing manipulators I have ever had the displeasure of meeting. At one point she even threathened to kill herself if my brother didn't give her money. I got out of there as soon as I could, and I'm now living with my father.
trudatness 10y ago
My ex is using the child support money to support her unemployed live-in boyfriend.
KyfhoMyoba 10y ago
I'll bring the shovel and a couple of bags of lime.
trudatness 10y ago
The kids are getting to the age where they are starting to want things.
They are going to ask their mom - who is going to say "No we can't afford that" - then look at douchebag wearing out a spot on the couch smoking his Dorals and drinking Old Milwaukee in the can.
The guy is a 41 year ugly old loser who hasn't had a job since 2008. His daddy however, is a big lawyer partner at a well known firm next to the courthouse.
The guy would be in the street or living with his parents probably - like his 18-19 year old kid is. Apparently his baby mama was a total flake who married her coke dealer and neither of them were fit to raise the kid - so his parents took over. This shot out loser wasn't man enough to step up and be a father to his own kid, but he's telling my kids I'm a piece of shit right along with my screwed up ex wife.
There are three reasons he's there:
One - my ex-wife jumped back on the carousel after we divorced looking for (in her words what she told my mother) an older man who knows what he wants out of life (code words for an older guy with some $$). The only thing she could find were couple of dudes that pumped and dumped her. She had to settle for this dude or get used and abused by any guy she met who had his shit halfway together.
Two - She's laid the sob story on the guy's parents about how much much of an abusive crackhead I supposedly am so she's gotten free attorney services. Free attorney services means she can act like as big of an asshole as she wants to and never worry about losing custody.
She doesn't dare kick loser out because she thinks the moment she does I'm going to drag her ass back into court and wipe the floor with her - seeing that she'll be without free legal representation. A year or two ago, she would have been right about that assumption. Now? I've actually got some red hot irons in the fire I'm starting to collect on. I'm starting to make so much money that the support number is a bargain. I don't dare take her back, because the support would more than double. Plus the kids have a say in matters now. They are brainwashed to hate the father that loves them
I do want to see my kids though, pretty badly, but the conflict that would result isn't worth the harm it would do to them.
I couldn't care less if they were two jacked up dipshits deep in love, I have my own path, but I'm guessing that as soon as she feels safe enough to go without the free attorney safety net - she'll look at that ugly mother fucker and realize she's got to support that loser - who doesn't have a pot to piss in - indefinitely without any further benefit and she'll kick his ass to the curb. By then his lawyer daddy will be retired - too old and tired to fight the guy's battles.
The way I look at it is - she's got to support a drunken loser just so she can get free attorney services and keep putting the screws to me. How's that for an obsessed alpha widow? She's paying her penance every evening when looks across the kitchen table at him and sees his bloated, patchwork bearded face - and has to lay next to his fat stank drunk ass every night. Her revenge on me has a high price. What a fucking dumb ass she is. If she acted like a civil human being - and I could truly trust that - I would forgive and forget. It's time to move on. She wouldn't have to put up with a fat 41 year old broke dick loser or kiss up to his parents. I would be grateful just to see the kids. She could actually go out there and seek out real happiness.
But she knows she been such a fucking cunt, she's sweating getting what's coming to her in court if she goes without the free attorney. Her own psychotic bullshit has backed herself into a giant shitburger of a corner. Now that the paranoid bed is made - she's lying in it.
Meanwhile, I just bought a waterfront pool home, I drive a beamer, I go on vacations, I have a beautiful new family. I'm living large.
She's a fucking pea-brained idiot making our kids suffer needlessly just to try to fuck me over. I wash my hands of it.
Vallrjo_Central 10y ago
Julius Cesar Married A Single mom.
Throw-awy 10y ago
So fucking what? Oh I get it, if someone as famous and as powerful as Gaius Julius Caesar would marry a single mother, it must be OK for the plebs too. If someone rich and famous does it, it is sure to work out for the rest of us too, right? I have a degree in history so I am very curious to know, which one of Caesar's three wives was a single mother? Please prove me wrong because he NEVER MARRIED A SINGLE MOTHER. if you bring up Cleopatra, WRONG! he rented that pussy, never married it.
Vallrjo_Central 10y ago
It was just a comment you fucking hyper-fag.
Too alpha for your keyboard their junior, keep your faggot ass in the library with your "history degree" and remember not to talk to real men with your pipped up voice unless you are prepared to get bitch-slapped.
Throw-awy 10y ago
Wow, I touch a nerve there emo? Remember that facts and not emotions will help you with an argument since I do not see any facts to refute this. By the way, how is that hope and change working out for you?
Vallrjo_Central 10y ago
No facts to refute there cappy.
Great. I'm pleased with the current president. I wish the supreme court didn't have the last remaining vestigial tails of complete fascism still alive but hey can't have it all.
If anything I would have liked to see more sweeping political changes but Obama is hampered by his blackness. Such is life.
I'm emo now you punk bitch? This is why guys are you make RP such a line of bullshit.
Some little shitstain on a throwaway because he doesn't want his friends to know what a whiny little cunt he is on the internet.
I'm a real mothafucka. Recognize danger. You see you only understand Alpha and Beta, when in reality if you were in my neighborhood you would be a gamma, or whatever your preferred term is for the scared man who runs into and out of his car as to avoid men who walk the streets. You're a bitch and you come on the internet to bitch anonymously.
Julius didn't marry a single mother. You're right. He was saved by a woman when Sulla sought his head. So go back to bitchin' and leave real men be.
Throw-awy 10y ago
Wow, I touched a nerve and here you are just ranting like a scared angry little man. Learn to control your emotions and maybe invest in some scented candles to calm your jilted nerves. You real? You dangerous? The rantings of a sad little teen in his mom's basement. Real dangerous men don't have to tell others that they are dangerous, they just are. Did you get that last sentence from Google? Maybe if you just did 3 seconds of research instead of posting stuff as absolute fact, I wouldn't have torn into you. Just have some integrity in what you type before you try to pass it off as facts.
Vallrjo_Central 10y ago
I don't live with my mother. I live in a house I rent while sellign a house I own. Both are in the City of Vallejo, CA. Google that shit. Stay hidden, thrown away. Do not look for what you claim to be. You will find it disappointing.
[deleted] 10y ago
Single mom's are living proof (and have living proof) of how stupid and irresponsible they are. "I'm doing the best I can!" Shut the fuck up and live with your stupid decisions.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
Women and consequences don't mix. They hate them. Anyone who has ever had a daughter knows what girls will do to avoid punishment. They will let others take the blame for them nearly every time, they will lie in the most amazing fashion, they will cry and beg and plead like maniacs.
RedPill4LYF 10y ago
We need an entire thread dedicated to stories of these lies, and then a separate one comparing them to adult women.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
funny enough, they'd be quite similar
[deleted] 10y ago
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VegasHostTre 10y ago
Meh. You can spin a single mother plate. Just keep a couple of things in mind. Watch your sperm. Don't fuck her everyday. In fact you shouldn't be fucking any chick everyday. Just maybe once or twice a week.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
no. i'm ok with the occasional slut bang but i refuse to give single mothers an iota of satisfaction. a fucking iota.
a menagerie of possible fathers is so bad for that kid.
[deleted] 10y ago
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TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
exactly
i have a heart, i like kids. i don't want to be apart of their suffering.
bama79rolltide 10y ago
Bad Decision Making is the worst trait a woman could have.
Its the worst trait anyone can have. Hence, TRP exists.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
being a coward is the worst trait a man can have.
robesta 10y ago
I just saw Hercules. Hercules, played by the Rock, the most desirable, high value man in Greece, could've landed any woman in Greece. Instead, he gets oneitis for a mid 30s single mom. There's no end to the Hollywood attempts at brainwashing.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
hahahahaha
i can't watch movies anymore. it's impossible. After I watched BRUCE FUCKING WAYNE fall for Maggie Gyllenhal I gave up.
Thankfully they put Anne Hathaway in some black leather.
iluminatiNYC 10y ago
Dumb question time: what's a single dad to do? shrugs Jussayin' man. Not every dad gets fucked in divorce court.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
Single dads hold a lot of mental issues as well and can not be spared from ridicule. Choosing the wrong partner for marriage and children is a HUGE fault, one that can not be erased.
The difference is that women have no problem raising another man's child the same way they have no problem with a man who fucks a lot of women. It holds no biological imperative to them.
In fact, much like having a dog, it raises their value. It shows that they're responsible, caring, have father qualities, and most importantly, pre-selection of the highest order.
sternje 10y ago
This article from JudgyBitch dove-tails with this sentiment.
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korewarp 10y ago
It's not the color of the skin that's the problem. It's black culture. There, happy now?
noteventrying 10y ago
U SJW BRO? Elaborate how blacks in the USA arent a good example of the negatives of fatherlessness.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
As a member of Black America it's pretty simple: We live in a matriarchy. It's why every athlete and rapper thank their moms or grandmothers for raising them.
It's why Lebron and Durant seem so off
CrazyHorseInvincible 10y ago
You just called out a black man, who was criticizing his own community, for... racial prejudice.
Now don't you feel stupid?
Don't bother trying to answer, because you are banned for not being able to read the damn sidebar and follow the damn rules.
budguy68 10y ago
As someone who has dated a couple of single moms I disagree.
It took months before she let me hang out with her kid.
She never brought the kid up in fact there were a lot of times where she left the kid to stay over with me.
She was a good money but she was also a fair women who like having fun.
[deleted] 10y ago
And remember that the ex (father of the child) will be always there as a shadow. You cant shake it off. He will be always there. Who would want a relationship under the shadow of her ex. Run away while you can.
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trafalgar112 10y ago
Interesting read. A close friend of mine has his mother constantly bash and verbally abuse him for no reason at all. I've seen this with many children of single mothers. Any explanation?
awesomesalsa 10y ago
How much does your friend look like his dad? I would suspect that children of single mothers tend to be abused less if they look more like the mom compared to kids who look more like the dad (especially boys)
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
The sons look like their fathers so the transference of crazy falls upon them.
Growing up my mother swung from hating me to loving me in extremes all the time.
awesomesalsa 10y ago
How much do you look like your dad? I would suspect that children of single mothers tend to be abused less if they look more like the mom compared to kids who look more like the dad (especially boys)
mrdotdotdot 10y ago
Yep as a child of a single mother she tried to recreate the relationship dynamic with me and lashed out for no reason at times.
Now she despises the entire gender, hangs out with gay guys...love her to death but it is what it is.
FloranHunter 10y ago
Holy shit. My mother never did this but her female friend actually started to... I mean, I don't know why I was able to hold frame w/ her crying and me being 14 but holy shit am I glad my mother put a stop to that before I broke from her more advanced tactics. It didn't occur to me how meaningful it was for my mother to use my young age as the reason her friend needed to cut that shit out... I mean damn.
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trafalgar112 10y ago
Would there be an explanation if the hate was directed to the daughter?
zephyrprime 10y ago
Women see their daughters as an extension of themselves and they often hate themselves because their SMV/SocialStanding is so low.
FloranHunter 10y ago
I suspect it's usually jealousy. Their daughter is still young so she is still approaching her SMV peak. Women rationalize it but they know that the younger version of them can land any man that they can plus much, much better men.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
all children are a piece of their father and mother
if the father is gone, women aren't very good at directing their emotions, they usually just hit whomever is closest.
cover20 10y ago
True general statement about many women these days including my wife.
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Deckerb 10y ago
All the single ladies, all the single ladies!
Ahaha single moms are a joke, and the stepdads are the punch line.
They're like fat chicks, so entitled yet so pathetic.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
worse than fat chicks
think about that
Deckerb 10y ago
My cock gets hard from some fit single moms, fat chicks and it gets sad.
The point is to not fuck or date either. They're broken humans
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
I've fucked some fat chicks
same amount of crazy and defense mechanisms but without the kid to make me feel bad
Deckerb 10y ago
That's why u hit it after 11, when their kid is asleep in he next room. Or masturbating to you pounding his mom, either or.
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[deleted] 10y ago
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frequentlywrong 10y ago
Why the fuck are you still in this situation?
MrKnot 10y ago
Get the fuck out. She's a bitch, a bad parent and a partner that disrespects you. Get out before you qualify under some retarded law a father figure and are forced to pay child support. Fly the fuck out of there.
Aerobus 10y ago
Why? Drop her. Now.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
exactly.
third place homie.
LineOfCoke 10y ago
spoil you kid on your dime. little faggot aint gonna be wasting food i paid for.
Mans_Right_To_Choose 10y ago
"As a mother, <complete and total bullshit ensues>"
[deleted] 10y ago
Every time I see that I replace it with "As a person who is capable of opening my legs"
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DoDraper 10y ago
I think you're being late to jump out of the boat. If you know what I mean.
Captain_Unremarkable 10y ago
And, naturally, I'm sure she did absolutely nothing to deserve such a horrible fate. 100% victim, no poor choices could have ever led her to this tragic life.
geosh 10y ago
As a single father who was divorce-raped, I definitely have no problem admitting that I made some poor choices. If only I had taken the red pill 5-10 years ago...
[deleted] 10y ago
You know what you gotta do soon
recoveringdeleted 10y ago
You know what you should have done already...
proof_TRP_works 10y ago
You know what you shouldn't have done in the first place...
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Bertrand_Marty 10y ago
My friend, you may have read the advice on this subreddit, but have you actually internalized any of it?
Tell me, is she living with you?
[deleted] 10y ago
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RedBigMan 10y ago
Yep just another microcase of the /r/pussypass. It gets amplified when a woman is a mom especially a single mom.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
exactly.
third place homie.
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Darthstacker 10y ago
It is a little known but very well documented fact that nearly all our social ills in this country can be traced back to single parent households. Don't quote me but like 94% of all rapists were raised by single moms.
Here's a good clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoVQ1eWRngk
I have section 8 houses that I rent and these women are very entitled acting. I mean, they have abortion right? I don't agree with it but it is the law right now. So why do we have to pay for their illegitimate kids too?
Stinkfisted 10y ago
Ann Coulter is a walking strawman.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
they have condoms
birth control
or plain old not spreading your legs for everything that moves.
but that's what matriarchy devolves into.
mizzoufan1990 10y ago
Oddly enough, single fathers are much more successful than their female counterparts. http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2013/07/02/the-rise-of-single-fathers/
noblepaladin 10y ago
There is a big selection bias there. The courts will never give custody of the kids to the father unless he is literally perfect and the mother is a criminal, drug addict, and/or mentally ill.
iluminatiNYC 10y ago
Welp...this is pretty much my story. Though FWIW, mental illness tends to be the biggest deciding factor. Substance abuse issues aren't usually enough for custody.
uvajay 10y ago
I assume every state is different, but what usually happens if the kid wants to live with the dad instead?
noblepaladin 10y ago
If the kid is old enough, then it would matter a lot. However, most divorces happen when the kid is too young and the kid doesn't even get asked (or the kid is too little to understand). The critical time when most divorces happen is when the kids are still very young.
There are many reasons for this. First of all there are financial incentives. Child support lasts until the kid is 18, you don't want until the kid is 15 to start a divorce. Also, women either consciously or unconsciously know that if the kid is old enough to think for himself, then he may see that the mother is at least partially at fault for divorce, whereas if the child is still young she can brainwash him. Having a child also changes the behaviors of adults. The male may appear too beta if he is overly nurturing and the woman may decide to become fat since she has "secured" her future or she may pick up other bad habits from other new mothers that she meets (in recent years 2/3s of women have babies outside of marriage) at prenatal classes, daycare, etc. Also, women know that they if they wait until they are 40+, they have no shot at getting with another guy being a 40+ single mother, so relationships actually become more stable as she ages. So for the most part, the children are typically too young to have a say in who they want to live with in a divorce.
KyfhoMyoba 10y ago
This. It seems that a woman's propensity to initiate divorce is proportional to her ability to remarry well.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
this isn't shocking.
this doesn't mean single dads are a good thing, they're just more successful and less destructive.
JZer86 10y ago
Glad to see that I'm above the median for Single Father income and whatnot.
ogalvan 10y ago
That isn't surprising. It helps to be left brain dominant.
CanuckMan95 10y ago
People still believe in that left brain/right brain bs?
Fzed600 10y ago
The majority of women on dating sites are single moms for a reason
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
yuuuup
or fat or mentally ill
OrchidReverie 10y ago
I learned a powerful lesson about single moms this morning. I used to think it'd be cool to raise another's man's child but I now realize that it was wrong.
[deleted] 10y ago
Well, my step dad raised me like his own since i was 2, and im 27 now. that man is more of a father than my biological dad was. my mom and him didnt even get married until like 20-some years after they were together.
It isn't all manipulation, but i suppose it might be because my family was always pretty wealthy. my mom never needed money or anything.
horus-ra 10y ago
I came from a very similar situation. My step dad raised me since I was 2, and now I'm 25. I never knew my biological father and never really have wanted to know him. They got married around the time I was 2.5 and had 4 more kids together. He adopted me when I was 7, and I was even given the choice of what name to take and if I even wanted to be adopted. Aside from child #3 we have been a fairly functional family. I went to MIT, my sister to BYU, (middle child is in jail...), and the other two are getting along well in high school and elementary school respectively.
That being said, I also have had an experience dating a single mother that I ended when I finally figured out that she was bat-shit insane. I think that there single mothers vary. Some are crazy and only looking for a checkbook while there are others who are genuinely looking for a long-term companion and father figure to have a family with.
awesomesalsa 10y ago
story about your imprisoned sibling please
exit_sandman 10y ago
Only above a certain age, but single women over 35 without children are rare for a reason (hint: It begins with "biological" and ends with "clock").
[deleted] 10y ago
On the upside, if you want to score a pump n dump significantly outside your normal batting average, single moms are a great bet.
There are a LOT of former 9s now knocked up with someone elses kid and having their standards bashed square in the face every single day by that fact.
Use this information as you will gentlemen...
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
I'm attempting to shy away from Machiavellianism to make our subreddit more palatable for the incoming masses
but yes, this is very true
Thomas_Crapper 10y ago
I agree with pretty much everything you've said ITT, but I why on earth are you attempting to make our subreddit more palatable? The truth and the tools of sexual strategy are not palatable at all to the masses. Shy away from Machiavellianism? What in the hell for?
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
It's just something i choose to do.
I shall not admonish or judge anyone who does otherwise.
watersign 10y ago
Excellent post. I've said it before on here and i'll say it again...single moms should be used for sexual degradation, practice and plate spinning.
User-31f64a4e 10y ago
When you get married to someone who already has kids, you will wind up putting time and effort into supporting some other dude's kids. You'll also be less important to her. Remeber, it's women and children first, not husbands first.
Having to support someone else's kids is why female infidelity is less tolerated than male infidelity. It shouldn't be more acceptible to you because it happened before you came along.
She got the AF, now she's going for you as BB. Bad plan. If you really value your self and your time, you won't do this.
Tinfoil_Hat_Club 10y ago
And you don't feel like this theory is at all biased by your personal experiences? You are assuming all single mothers are like this due to your selection biases (those being your experiences and friends with similar experiences, who oddly enough probably have a similar mindest since they are your friend). The number of generalizations not backed up by fact in this post is astronomical, but I would expect nothing less out of this subreddit. Rain in the downvotes, I will gladly take them.
Edit: You really have to wonder what kind of community you are a part of when one persons generalizations are upvoted more than fact and anyone who dares question the line of logic is downvoted. You claim to emphasize logic and strategy in this sub, yet I see none of it here.
GraphicSeniorNudity 10y ago
Maybe #notallsinglemoms are like this. But that's a risk I'm willing to take in order to avoid raising someone else's kid.
cover20 10y ago
I raised an objection that OP did not, and that is impervious to your comment.
My objection is that I don't want to raise another man's child. Even if I want the woman, I would want her without the child.
Why don't I want to raise another man's child? That's so obvious we don't even have to discuss it.
xantris 10y ago
What fact? That there are outliers and exceptions? If you want to point at anomalies and exceptions when giving life advise, you're an idiot. There is a reason that people constantly warn you not to date single moms, and it's the same reason your advised not to walk down dark allies at night,.. more often than not, it's a terrible idea.
Tinfoil_Hat_Club 10y ago
It would be more understandable if this were just generelized life advise, something along the lines of "don't date single women because you will always be second to the child." And leave it at that, but instead OP jumps down rabbit holes of bashing on a subset of society making ungrounded claims of their decision making skills, value to society, mental health etc. These are unclever bashes hidden under the guise of advise which is something that happens all too often in this community.
Gavlan_Wheel 10y ago
Should he have put in a bunch of weasel words to please you?
This sub is about human behavior, of course it's going to generalize. No group of humans, no matter how similar their situations, are going to be the same.
If I said to you "Don't pet that lion, lions are dangerous". Would you say "No, you are just generalizing. There are lions who will not eat you. I will pet it.". Sure there are lions that wouldn't eat you, but you would be stupid for even attempting to see if it was a nice lion, because the penalty for being wrong, just like with single mothers, is bad.
Tinfoil_Hat_Club 10y ago
Except your analogy is inconsistent with the problem. We have statistics of wild and zoo lion attacks that we can and have gathered. If you really want me to look it up I will. Furthermore, you are responding with another generalization about single mothers, that they are like wild lions.
Human behavior is not all generalizations. In fact we have a whole fields dedicated to its scientific pursuit (sociology and psychology) both of which use the scientific method to back up their claims. So, to answer your question, no I don't want him to use "weasel words", I want him to back up his claims with fact. You should want the same as well if you truly value this persons opinion as representative of your own.
Gavlan_Wheel 10y ago
Both of those fields are entirely generalizations.
Some people just have a really hard time grasping what an average is in relation to a population. You appear to be one of those people. Without grasping that, I can't explain anything to you, I'm sorry.
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Tinfoil_Hat_Club 10y ago
Perhaps, but you don't begin with the generalization, you arrive at it through gathering information about a hypothesis.
theozoph 10y ago
Strategy : don't date/marry single mothers.
Logic : you will always come second, they have made at least one huge mistake in their life (widows excluded), they have an incentive other than attraction to latch on to you, the stress of their situation is making them ripe for psychological troubles.
Seems fairly clear-cut.
You are part of a community where the value of generalizations (aka. dominant statistical trends) is recognized, and which encourages you to take them into account when evaluating risk/reward ratios about life-changing decisions.
Instead of, you know, empty moralizing and stars-in-the-eyes naiveté.
Basically, single mothers are a huge fucking risk, so you better make sure she's a truly exceptional individual before making that leap. Seems like logic-based strategy to me.
And before you start asking for 1 bazillion peer-reviewed studies to "prove" single mothers are bad news (which would all be biased or using improper protocols to you anyway), let me spare you the trouble : we're not here to discuss the nature of reality, or convince blue pillers that reality isn't a liberal college sociological construct. We're here to share experiences, strategies and self-improvement tips (and the occasional funny story), not to decondition you.
If you want to argue that the sky is vermillion instead of blue, /r/PurplePillDebate is that way. Have fun.
Tinfoil_Hat_Club 10y ago
There we go. This is the first person to respond using a strain of logic. You structured it as a specific risk reward scenario instead of generalized attacks against a wide group of people and even stated that there would be exceptions (I would argue that there are many more than widows, what about rape cases resulting in children? Cases where the divorce was mutual agreement and did not have lasting psychological effects, which yes does happen, etc.).
Where I had issue was with OPs structure of his analysis and the arguments therein. I argued that he could not provide evidence to support his attacking statements, not his overarching ideas. I'm neither in support not defense of the "Red Pill Movement", but in order for this community to gain any traction it has to move beyond baseless attacks on groups (primarily females and "betas") and focus on structuring logical arguments to support strategies. In this case what OP was trying to get at was that you shouldn't go for single mothers b/c there is too much risk for a significantly reduced reward, which is a valid strategy for this community, but again the issue was not with the strategy but how he presented it.
theozoph 10y ago
You don't understand the tone or purpose of this sub, which is why you're spazing over "generalized attacks against a wide group of people".
We know we're over-the-top, because that's the way we like to communicate. We talk in large principles, and only specify exceptions if there's a good reason to talk about them. Only idiots and asperger types would think we're philosophers dissecting the nature of reality in all its intricacies.
We're men, talking to other men like men, and telling bitches to shut the fuck up or get the fuck out if they don't like it. The purpose of this tone is twofold : don't dilute the message, and rip out feminized language and pacifying gestures toward the passive-aggressive feminized bleeding hearts of reddit. This is man-talk, and concern trolls aren't welcome.
Only bigots think there's no exceptions, and only idiots think everyone's an exception. Which one are you?
I happen to know some single mothers, and believe me, I've never even met one who was a widow, much less a rape victim, a happily divorced unicorn, or a recipient of immaculate conception. OP's post is spot-on for every single one, and all they're good for is pump and dump.
Sure, my sample is small, and theoretically, such people exist (well, maybe not the last one). I'm still going to assume every single mother needs to be thoroughly screened in ways I wouldn't bother with otherwise. It would be stupid not to.
IOW, you're concern trolling. Why? Don't you get it? Are you worried OP doesn't get it? How come I read the exact same thing as you and came to the right interpretation but you couldn't, or wouldn't?
We say it over and over : calibrate to your circumstances, test it for yourself, don't just accept what you read. We're asking people to stop acting like sheep, but we're not going to water down what we have to say because a few asperger types can't grok it.
Tinfoil_Hat_Club 10y ago
I have to disagree with you. This and OP's aren't "man talk" otherwise not intended for bitches. Being a bitch, beta, blue pill etc has nothing to do with it. I understood OPs message from the onset, my point is that ad hominem attacks muddy his message and make it less valid. Notice not once have I stated my opinion on whether it is right or wrong, many people have assumed an opinion and downvoted for not understanding the point I'm trying to make. Can you get the message from OP's post? Absolutely, but his point is weaker for using personal attacks. If you really want "man talk" you should be talking like a civilized human being not a belligerent boy upset with the circumstances of the world around you. Make a claim, back it up with fact and give you conclusion like the "real men" this sub wants to make.
theozoph 10y ago
On who? I'm not seeing it. He lists the bad characteristics of single mothers, recap his personal experiences with them, and concludes that they are a dysfunctional group, and the most detrimental to society. I agree heartily, and I don't see what's personal in it.
Concern trolling and shaming tactics! Did you get lost on your way to /r/SRS?
This isn't a debate club. If you still think you're in a sub dedicated to your little opinions, you're wrong. What I come to learn here is not "how to win an argument with a feminist", it's life tips on how to become a better version of myself, and how to navigate the SMP. I couldn't give less of a shit how how to debate using proper form, that's for nerds who know nothing about life and have never touched a woman. They have nothing worthwhile to contribute.
If you're arguing/debating, especially with feminists, you're not a "real man", or even a man at all. You're an insecure little boy bitching at the little girls sticking their tongues out at you. Flip them the bird with a smirk, and go about your day.
Tinfoil_Hat_Club 10y ago
Clearly ad hominem attacks against single mothers as I have pointed out in other replies so in not getting into that.
I'm not using any shame tactics, I'm stating how speaking without using a proper argument makes you look less like the "macho man" this subreddit wants to be and more of an inexperienced and immature person, in this case a younger and inexperienced man i.e. a boy.
I'm aware it's not debate club, but it's not r/rant either, if you are going to make a point and have other people actually give a shit you should back it up.
Your point about nerds again is a baseless ad hominem attack which is nothing new from your previous posts. I will point out now that between all your name calling I'm now either a feminist, a nerd/ idiot (which really doesn't go together but okay) a troll or a someone from SRS. Good luck with that.
For your last section someone with a different viewpoint than your own is apparently not worth your time, showing a clear lack of developed maturity, but okay.
From all this evidence I'm now going to draw a conclusion, are you ready? This conversation is clearly above your intellectual capacity so I'm going to simplify this for you.
By your logic (demonstrated above) I could simply call the OP an idiot with viewpoints that are idiotic and his entire message would be invalidated. But that's not how the world works is it? I can't make it so his point doesn't have any value by making that claim, I have to disprove him statement by statement. In this particular case there is nothing to disprove because he did not submit any factual evidence beyond point 1, which I already gave him.
Now then, give your brain a chance to cool off and try again.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
or, you know:
http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/02/08/how-single-motherhood-hurts-kids/?_php=true&_type=blogs&_r=0
http://www.photius.com/feminocracy/facts_on_fatherless_kids.html
I prefer statistics and personal experience to…whatever it is you're going off of.
Tinfoil_Hat_Club 10y ago
The articles you linked only validate your fifth point and barely validate it at that. Both articles mention that these statistics are for US persons specifically and is not true in a wide range of other countries or even a majority of the rest of the world with regard to the NYT opinion piece. But sure lets give you that point at best and agree that single parent homes are bad for children.
This doesn't validate any of your other points being that 1. Single mothers are bad decision makers. 2. Single mothers are valueless people. 3. Single mothers are more manipulative than all other groups on earth. 4. Single mothers have more baggage and are therefore crazy.
Can you validate any of these points with anything other than anecdotal evidence? Particularly point 3 as I think sociopaths would disagree with you.
Edit for clarity and cellphone typing syndrome.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
I speak for American men and families.
Why? Because that's what I know and have experienced. To talk about other countries would make me foolish.
Tinfoil_Hat_Club 10y ago
Which is why I gave you point 1 now, on to points 2-5...
Also you speak "to" Americas men not for them, that assumption would also be foolish and rather grandiose of you.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
I can do both.
The American Men is this subreddit seem to enjoy my posts very much.
Tinfoil_Hat_Club 10y ago
I'm not even sure of that was English but the American men in this subreddit represent less than .01% of all American males so you most certainly do not. Furthermore I'm willing to bet not even all of the males of this subreddit agree with you so it's even less than that. Be careful with your self-proclaimed narcissism it can lead you down some pretty bad paths. (See the California shootings not too long ago)
RedPillWisdom 10y ago
Raised by mother who shitcanned my father. Left me as a latchkey kid to pursue the carousel. Remarried to some Brit douchenozzel not even a third the man my father is and was. Epically shitty childhood, entirely her doing.
To hell with single moms. May they all die alone and unloved.
cover20 10y ago
And you don't consider the stepfather your dad do you? That's entirely your right.
But maybe he didn't make a good decision stepping into that situation. he spent years and a lot of his earnings raising you, but you still don't consider him dad.
And even in his wife's (your mom's) eyes, he is compared with your real dad and probably found wanting.
Your feeling is entirely understandable. He probably made a big mistake. We should not make the same mistake. We should not marry single moms.
Tinfoil_Hat_Club 10y ago
Oh sweet another throwaway. Yet here we are with anecdotal evidence again. It's unfortunate that this happened to you but it does not necessarily make it true of all single mothers.
As I agreed about with Mr Grey, single parent households do indeed leave lasting problems on the kids. It sounds like yours left a decidedly low opinion of women and that might very well be why you are subscribed to this sub (my assessment, not necessarily fact). You might want to get that checked out before it manifests itself into something that might harm you or others.
RedPillWisdom 10y ago
I'm married with 2 adult children. I discovered The Red Pill last year. Wife has really taken to the Red Pill life. I don't trust women, even my sweet and newly submissive little wife, because I am not an idiot.
You can spin it any way you like. But there are a huge number of adult men, who watched our mothers blow up their marriages and return to the carousel. Multiply that by tens of millions of men (with a 50% divorce rate and 70+% of divorces initiated by women) and what is anecdotal to you is a groundswell of hate well earned.
So yes, fuck single mothers and divorcee return to carousel cunts. May they all die of the newly incurable strains of gonorrhea. I cannot emphasis this enough, fuck all of them.
cover20 10y ago
Since you too are subscribed to this sub, through a permanent account no less, do you have a decidedly low opinion of women? You might want to get that checked out before it manifests itself into something that might harm you or others.
Tinfoil_Hat_Club 10y ago
No I have a need to argue with people who have limited world views due to my line of work this keeps me on my toes.
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LineOfCoke 10y ago
a slut is just a single mom who thinks its okay to murder her offspring.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
and we've reached critical mass
let's pull it back some
anonlymouse 10y ago
There is also the possibility that after getting married she chose to try to stick it out and keep her vows despite seeing the signs. Also, some industrial jobs will expose you to chemicals that significantly change your personality for the worse. It doesn't hurt to ask what lead to the divorce - in the rare event it's a reasonable explanation, it's probably not something someone would know to make up.
-Slutlord-Fascist- 10y ago
He was probably beating her and that's the only reason she left him (not because she was forty, bored, and wanted some dick).
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
There are rare cases but where in life do we follow the exception?
anonlymouse 10y ago
You can ask and see if it is an exception. If you've gotten to the point of finding out someone is a single mom, a few extra minutes learning why that happened isn't a waste of time.
These are guidelines, not hard rules. There's always the option to make a judgement call based on the situation, and making that judgement call requires knowing that there are some exceptions.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
Because my time is important and valuable and I don't care why she's a single mom?
i don't need to know how a tiger was raised to know it's most likely a danger to me
anonlymouse 10y ago
It's highly unlikely that if you've already put the time in to find out that she is a single mom that you actually have something better to do with your time than find out why.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
what part of "it doesn't matter why" doesn't click with you?
no matter what the reason, she's a single mom and that comes with baggage that no man should want.
anonlymouse 10y ago
I understand what you're saying, and I'm saying you're wrong. Disagreement does not mean misunderstanding.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
what exactly am i wrong about kind sir
anonlymouse 10y ago
That it doesn't matter why she's a single mom.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
and why is it that i'm wrong
CapnScumbone 10y ago
nature has the best solution. devour the offspring. send her into estrus. make more. be creative with human law until we can get around it.
Oh_FuFu 10y ago
A lot of you are speaking from experience and from no experience. If you are the man YOU need to be and YOU are the best version of yourself and YOU are continuously growing and becoming better and better, a woman, not a slut, will be sucked up by your energy. If you lead a woman. Who is to say you cannot lead a single woman who happens to be a mother? And yeah there is a lot of sht and baggage but with my experience, everything goes as I says, even the part for schooling, how life will be, how life should be, disciplining, food choice, etc..
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
because some man has already led her to the end game, progeny
i was very clear about this
Oh_FuFu 10y ago
I didn't ask any question.. Lol
kindlebluemoon 10y ago
Eh, try it, if you don't like it you can always leave. Just don't get her pregnant but you already knew that.
Not sure what's the point of trying to convince others why single moms are bad. I would never date one myself but I don't demonize them.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
don't try it.
don't give single mothers any further motivation to continue their ways.
complete apathy, ignoring them completely is the only way to get them to change their ways.
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charlie_charlie3 10y ago
So, basically what you're saying is dating single moms is bad decision making.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
it's quite possibly the worst decision you could make it turns of choosing a partner.
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Gstreetshit 10y ago
I had no idea that Stefan Molynuex posted on here.
Seriously though, to add to OP's post, which is good. Check out this video when you have the time.
I'm not the biggest fan of this dude, but he hits nails from time to time
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAAqL2A6V6s
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
he's blunt like i am, but he's also pessimistic and seems to harbor a lot of emotions.
video was good but i don't think i could watch him
rukpek 10y ago
I recently met my ex which is a single mom at some party a month or so ago. She started to message me quite frequently after the party even though she has a new boyfriend. I decided to reply back one day just to mess with her and before i know it she needs to talk to me about serious stuff. Turns out she wants to kill herself. Told her she should talk to her boyfriend about this but no, she dumped him the day before and now she has no one. She needs me.
So what should I do about this TRP? She clearly needs help and support. I'm in a pretty sticky situation here. Just kidding. I couldn't care less what she does.
iluminatiNYC 10y ago
Call the pros and wash your hands of it. If she's legit, you've saved her life. If she isn't, she won't bug you anymore.
rain_delay 10y ago
Oh man. You made me laugh so hard my milkshake came out my nose. Cudos.
rukpek 10y ago
Glad I'm not the only one. (Y)
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TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
if she wants to truly seek help she'll seek therapy, not her ex.
you can't save PEOPLE who don't want to be saved
rukpek 10y ago
She wont seek therapy because she dosent like the idea of "ignorance is bliss".
H42 10y ago
Give her permission to pull the trigger. She won't, its only an attention getting device on her part.
Or, continue the discussion on text, visit the cops, show them her texts about the pending suicide and have her committed, "for her own safety."
PaulMurrayCbr 10y ago
A happy thought, but extremely foolish. One way or another, you will wind up being blamed for it all.
Red_August 10y ago
This. It's her "Hail Mary" play to trap a BB. The beauty of this tactical play is that it also preselects whomever falls for it as being a bona fide nurturing provider. It not only guarantees her a BB, it also gives her a lifetime "crazy-pass" to use at will.
Do not stick your dick in this. If you have any reasons to believe that you may have some residual guilt, do report her to the police, or a responsible parent or family member. Run away and block all communications before she has an audience to escalate her act into a fake attempt at suicide, etc.
FloranHunter 10y ago
Keep in mind that her friends and family will likely harass you for "getting her in trouble". Seriously.
rukpek 10y ago
Exactly my point. I feel sorry for the next bf she manages to hook.
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FloranHunter 10y ago
This isn't actually known. It's a bullshit statistic. I reckon it's probably true of the type of attention-seeking and impermanent types of suicide women attempt but for men, we load a gun but don't quite pull the trigger. You don't get your stomach pumped for that but you came closer to ending it than advil-popper the liver-killer.
rukpek 10y ago
I told her I'm not going to tell her not to do it just because its what I'm supposed to say. Told her i hope she chooses to live but honestly i wouldn't care if she actually went through with it. Option two isnt a bad idea. Her father wants full custody of her child and this might aid this along aswell as push her over the edge. Hmm.
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HerrCox 10y ago
I read this post earlier this morning and have just read a status on my facebook feed that you will enjoy.
Status update is feeling heartbroken.
Inside he posts what happened.
My gf for over 2 years broke up with me via email. After I paid our entire rent, her phone bill, fixed her car and spent $500 on a day with her and her son.
Comments....
Yep, via email. 1 year ago, she moved here, the agreement was she finds a job and we start our life together, she pays the rents and after a year we get a place. 6 months ago, she sits me down says she wants me to be a man and marry her and be more serious. I do that, i step the fuck up, be a man to her kid, take him out, play play games with him bc his piece of shit dad wont, so i step up. I pay our and her bills to relieve stress from her, when I owe 190k on student loans, but I still put her n our "family" first. Here it is, one year later, no job, but I am still supporting her, and asking her to never give up, im picking mad shifts so we can move to a nice place next month. Today, via email, she tells me that she cant keep trying, shes at 0%, and what she told me about having a family and starting a life, is no longer how she feels. How the fuck do i end up meeting such immature ppl and investing so much in a waste.
Don't let this happen to you.
olivermihoff 10y ago
What the fuck is this supposed to mean?
You're raging over personal experience then using a generalist attitude to be ignorant in your statements?
There are single mothers in every race, more possibly in Black America because of history and social economics, but it's pretty dumb of you to involve a racial component in your example. I find this happens too much in posts here...
I'm beginning to be bored by whiny wimp posts on this subreddit that try to act like they're more "money" than they are...
Angry posts like this shame the RedPill community by making it look like a bunch of immature women haters that also have other hate issues.
Fact is you may have been played, so now you're ranting... Big fucking deal, most people go through it, but developing hate and using divisive statements like the above is only going to lead you towards more failure and isolation...
If this subreddit wants to accept these kinds of unnecessarily racially charged and overly angry statements, then fuck it, I just don't belong here.
kintu2 10y ago
this is the misogyny part of the redpill that damages all the good uplifting advice it gives...
/r/relationships is overtaken by man hating feminists.
/r/redpill seems to have a vocal woman hating majority. I started reading a few weeks back .Most of it was good stuff. then this thread and all the posts in here.
Where do middle guys like me go?
slcjosh 10y ago
I think you misinterpret what Ryan Grey is saying. And if you are saying Thee Ryan Greys statements are racists, angry, and wimpy then you haven't really been here very long. Look at his post history and tell me he doesnt speak the truth.
And nothing he said in this post is "generalist". The numbers back up his claim.
CrazyHorseInvincible 10y ago
Do not attempt to police or moderate people's tone. First and only warning.
olivermihoff 10y ago
I asked him for clarification, I'm not trying to control anyone's tone. If offending people with social commentary based on race is the norm here, then I'll leave on my own accord.
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olivermihoff 10y ago
Thanks for inserting level-headedness into the discussion!
I think it's very damaging to one's goals in life to construct hateful ideas about women despite coming across key examples of women that abuse their position.
Some posters here are so amped up on hate, and so wrapped up in the ideology, that they'll never notice a woman who doesn't conform to their painted picture until it's too late.
I say this as a 40 year old guy that is really on here to learn more about how radical feminism is destroying perception of reality for modern women, but I really can't buy a radical campaign against feminism either, it's not worth the effort. There are plenty of good women out there that don't buy and sell the bullshit, just as I don't want to be a guy that buys it either. This is not a football game, it's frickin real life, That's only what I'm concerned with other than not catching an STD.
We're all free human beings, perfectly capable of either ruining or enhancing our lives, and I shouldn't expect someone to change, I can control who I choose to trust though.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
Not more possibly in Black America, far and away in Black America.
I lived through Black America, seen it firsthand. I've spent more time studying and reading about it than I've wanted to. I have more anecdotal evidence than you'd like to hear.
If you can't see how Black America has become a matriarchy then you've let your emotions get the best of you.
olivermihoff 10y ago
I don't understand why you felt the need to point it out though if you're talking about women in general, are you specifically speaking about dating black women?
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
I'm talking about how Black America is a look at America's future if we continue becoming a matriarchy.
Beyonceitis I call it. It's when single black women infect other women with their matriarchal ideals.
olivermihoff 10y ago
Wow, it would totally be a downfall if society mimicked this grand portrait of Black America that you have knowingly painted so well?
Should I just kill myself off (I'm black) before the genocide commences to help you with your quest for a more white-like society?
Jeesus, it's worse than I originally thought it was.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
stop being so hyperbolic
i'm black, too, and no one's gonna join your little pity party
Black America is a matriarchy and it's proven to be not just detrimental but destructive. Are there other factors contributing? Of course, but Black America goes out of its way to help destroy itself because it's led by women.
Think of black sex symbols. Think of how many famous black men are fatherless. Think of who black men chase after in clubs. Think of who black women yearn for.
I could go on and on, but I've got more experience with Black America and its follies than you could dream of.
olivermihoff 10y ago
So then why do you feel so comfortable in putting down your own race if you defy the same ideals you're characterizing the race by?
Are you also part of the problem then?
I don't operate according to how the pop world does, but it seems like you don't understand that there's parallels among other races for every one you cite in the Black community.
There's Robert Downey Jr. - Recovering Heorin Addict
Pamela Anderson - Need I type anything here?
Tom Ford - Crack Addict extraordinaire/Politician Secondarily
Kim Kardashian - Notorious Gold Digger
Ana Nicole Smith - Single Mother and Died from Drug Overdose
Bradley Manning - Now a woman somehow, leaked vital secrets
Ted Bundy - Killed and ate people
John Bobbit - Wife beater with a severed penis
Marylin Monroe - Died of Drug Overdose, broke marriages, and did some acting.
Heath Ledger - "
Courtney Love - Caused Kurt Cobain to shoot himself for crying out loud. Single mom.
And you created some bogus term called "beyonceeism", she's not even a single mom, she is married and taking care of her daughter quite well, and Jay Z is far from an alpha male, he is a money-rich Beta at best.
I can't grasp the BS you're spouting, and it's even more confusing that you're perpetuating hate for your own damn culture in posts.
There are tons of African Americans that do not fit into your wacked perspective, and it's NOT a pandemic. If you wrote a book on that philosphy you'd be lucky if it made it into the 50 cent bin at K-Mart.
Tom_The_Human 10y ago
I know most single mums are in their situations as a result of fucking alpha bad boys, but what about single mums who are in their predicament because of circumstances out of their control (for example, their boyfriend/husband died)? What does TRP say about dating these?
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
Like I've said in this topic 10 times already, widowhood is one of the saddest outcomes imaginable.
But it's such a rarity that it can't factor into our decision making.
redgreenyellowblu 10y ago
I was raised by a single mom and had friends that were raised by single moms and I remember this:
The new boyfriend or eventual husband is treated like a child on the lowest rung of the totem pole. Mom and kids are always ganging up and ridiculing him. It's mom that instigates it. She uses the constant ridicule of the children to keep him in his place. Fun times.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
That's the move
Mom uses kid as bait, then uses him as guilt.
[deleted] 10y ago
Hyperbole much?
korewarp 10y ago
Think about it. Government are forced to take care of them - or the government FORCES other people to take care of them. Don't see that kind of shit with single fathers.
AgentSmith27 10y ago
I would probably go with meth addicts, drug dealers and hard criminals... but what do i know?
nsummy 10y ago
Not all single moms are poor.
[deleted] 10y ago
That's one of the reasons I believe government is the most detrimental group to society. I know a lot of single moms. Maybe I'm in a bubble but the single moms I know make BETTER girlfriends than otherwise. As long as you keep frame, they will love you and appreciate you more than a childless woman.
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xxxnosc0p3rxxx 10y ago
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cray-cray-cray 10y ago
That's quite an odd position to take. Have you noticed reality lately?
[deleted] 10y ago
More single mothers are a bad thing also because they raise significantly worse children than nuclear families.
As a libertarian I don't believe the government should provide any additional benefits to single mothers. In the immediate scheme of things, though, yes single mothers are a drain on society. I don't know if I blame the welfare recipient as much as the welfare-provider, though. I would seek to solve this problem by ending welfare and other social perks of irresponsible family planning.
None of this is relevant to the fact that the single mothers I know and have dated are unusually affectionate and giving to me, which leads me to question their wholesale condemnation by OP.
[deleted] 10y ago
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[deleted] 10y ago
Really? All I noticed was the going for walks, the meals, and the sex.
That's the point. Don't get married and hold frame.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
not at all.
what's more destructive to a society than someone who ruins children on purpose?
[deleted] 10y ago
I'd prefer to believe you're a troll than to respond to such an absurd, immature statement.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
calling someone a troll aka "i have nothing to add to this discussion"
[deleted] 10y ago
Exactly. There's nothing to contribute to a conversation in which someone is seriously claiming that single mothers are ruining their children on purpose.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
so you believe they AREN'T ruining their children or they're not doing it on purpose?
loveofnotes 10y ago
Oh boy, this thread came at the right time. I recently got involved with a single mom. I could tell she was fucking nuts. I knew that redpill would advise me to stay away. But I thought, "nah son, I got this". Well after reading this thread and all the comments, I'm just gonna next her. If she want's sum fuk, she'll let me know. She's already sent me me 6 nudes and 2 vids. Thank you redpill.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
of course she has
single moms are more aware than anyone what sex can control and manipulate, it's how they got in this position in the first place
also, they want to feel sexy because they know their bodies are used goods
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modeerfcity 10y ago
married a single mom ex-stripper who literally has louis vuiton baggage, love her but...WTF.
It's a constant battle of mental willpower and maintaining control and balance in the situation.
LineOfCoke 10y ago
certified pre-owned pussy.
If you can get better then by all means get better. I just dont feel like busting my ass all week to make insane payments on something that depreciates in value like a rocksinks in water.
What I hear intis thread is a lot ofpeople whining about their blue pill examples of relationships with single moms. guilt at leaving her because the kid that ain yours? allowing her to stop you fromdisciplining the kid? thats beta shit and thats the problem with your relationship, not the fact that she got a kid. the mental and emotional baggage is a great jumping off point for allsorts of plays. you were with a single mom, your gamewas weak and she shat all over you like every other woman. you failed to put the bitch inher place. your shortcoming.
if you dont like kids and arent willing toputup with some oneelses kids, then just say that. no need to blame your failure on her single mother status.
Cyralea 10y ago
Consider the fact that if you somehow ended up dating a single mom it's because your SMV was so low that she was the only thing you could pull. There are plenty of childless women, why did you end up with one that was not?
Accepting that fact, that you were a beta sized up for your bank account, should be liberating. There are exceptions for every rule, but I'm tempted to say that virtually none exist for single moms. They really and truly are like OP describes. Even the really sweet ones. Their biology dictates that they do whatever they can to provide for their child, first and foremost, and if that means taking advantage of some poor unsuspecting beta then so be it.
You will always be the 3rd most important person in her life, if that.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
Normal women are submissive, meaning they gain pleasure from pleasing a great man. The second you have a kid with them, you are in competition for her pleasure, thus why married men start losing our on sex and attention.
That's with your OWN kid, imagine a woman with a kid that isn't yours. You're either going to be third place or date a woman who neglects her child for you. That's fucking AWFUL.
heeb 10y ago
Sometimes they're widows... Not really the woman's fault when the father gets cancer and dies.
Having said that, I agree with what you wrote for the most part.
korewarp 10y ago
Pretty sure when we say single mom we mean: Couldn't keep the alpha that knocked them up on the hook.
Widows are legit and probably maybe needs taking care of.
heeb 10y ago
"Single mom" == "Single mom". Period. How is a widow with kids NOT a single mother?
nsummy 10y ago
I've known plenty of guys who have knocked up girls, believe me, they aren't all alpha or worth keeping around.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
rare occasion they're widows.
this is like the anorexia thing all over again.
heeb 10y ago
Wikipedia:
So, yes, rare, but not that rare…
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
1%
I can't base a discussion of the 1%, leave that to those occupy idiots
kanaduhisfruityeh 10y ago
The problem poor single mothers have is that the government provides welfare payments to financially support the children, but doesn't actually care for the children. In other words, the government doesn't make a good daddy substitute. Financially yes, but in terms of hands on raising of children, no. And most men don't want the burden of raising other men's children.
In black America the government incentivised single motherhood by only paying welfare out to support poor children if there was no father/husband in the picture. The daddy had to disappear so the kids could get government money.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
Women only date placating betas for the money anyways so it makes sense.
jm51 10y ago
This attitude could help women in the long term. There was a time when an unmarried mother was a social pariah. Meaning women were careful to wait until marriage unless she trusted the guy to marry her if he got her pregnant.
If single moms get no LTRs, just ONS, then women will start to be really careful about who they have a baby to. Not a bad thing.
awesomesalsa 10y ago
Because they don't already have the force of the state to extract money from tax payers and especially fathers?
It's true that most single mothers want some beta bux chump to support them and their spawn. What's not true is that they need said beta bux.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
There will always be a lonely beta easily duped by a master manipulator.
jm51 10y ago
You're probably right. The way it worked way back was an abandoned pregnant girl would fuck a beta who would then marry her. Sometimes the guy already knew. He got a hottie in his bed that he'd never get otherwise.
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strangestdude 10y ago
I think that's the most overlooked aspect of the perils of dating a single mother IMO.
Another is forgetting you are entering a relationship with more than one person; her and her kid(s). IMO many single mothers seem content to let their children bond with multiple men without caring about the affect it has on their child.
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TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
Again, I'm trying to move away from Machiavellian Tactics but they do work wonderfully, especially in this case.
Mandeponium 10y ago
Yes, they are terrible. But once you've learned this lesson, there's no need to keep thinking about it. Don't hold on to whatever resentment you have towards them or towards society for expecting you support them.
Just let them alone to their misery.
lepies_pegao 10y ago
TheeRyanGrey , I noticed that you are contributing a lot lately. I really like the different topics you have brought up lately.
I haven't dated a single mother, and I don't have plans on doing that.
the part that really stuck with me is this:
Last year I was talking to this girl, nothing serious but still, she went radio silent for about a week or so, when we talked again I noticed somethng different but I didn't pay much attention since I was going to another country to work.
Making long story short, a few months after I moved, I heard by a mutual friend that she was pregnant and she was going to get married. The crazy part is that a year later (this year) she called me out of the blue, trying to explain, and telling me how she fucked up and she doesn't 'love' her husband, yada yada yada. we still 'see' each other when I go back to visit my family and stuff.
I know she's trying to swing branches but since I don't live there anymore and only spend a couple of weeks at most she knows or at least pretends that whatever happens between us is just for fun. now in my RP days I know I def don't want to date/marry a woman with kids, it is always good to have this kind of post to remind us of the dangers of dating single mothers or soon-to-be single mothers.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
yuuuuuup.
single moms are in permanent hyper hypergamy mode. they will constantly try and upgrade at all costs.
dan7888 10y ago
Well, just to add some balance to this... yes what you said has relevance, but it isn't a law or a given. I grew up as a child of a single mom. But she was financially stable, so whatever guy she had around was trying to get her instead of vice-verse. She owned her home (thanks to the divorce from my dad) and had a well paying corporate job. but hey... just wanna say, if the single moms are stable financially, then she doesn't need a man for money.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
we're not here for balance. attempts at fair and balanced are how we got in this mess.
and you've missed the point completely. moms can work hard and be financially successful. doesn't prevent the damage they do to their kids
Jaereth 10y ago
It is the narrative of our society now. "Oh it's totally cool. Most girls will already have kids bla bla blah. You are a good man etc."
I just don't get it. Even when i was a total BP chump, kids were a deal breaker. I would practically beg for sex, but I still wouldn't act like I was gonna ltr with a girl with kids.
Nobody had to teach me this. It just came instinctually. If you raise another mans kids, you're a bitch. Unless you are sterile or just can have them for whatever reason, when i see a guy raising another mans kids I assume his smv is so low he can't get a woman without kids. And im a guy and think that. Imagine what his partner/other women think about him!
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
Social conditioning is a bitch
[deleted] 10y ago
Here's an interesting part. I'm a single father. I wouldn't mind meeting a cute single mom, but only if she had just one kid. I'm not about to take on a brood and put my daughter at the mercy of an outnumbered "us vs her" thing.
I can not seem to find any single mothers who only have ONE kid. The two I have met were so stuck up and cunty.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
Just look for a normal woman, without kids or divorce or tons of baggage.
Women like single dads the same way women like guys who fuck a lot of women. They are not the same as us.
[deleted] 10y ago
Oh I know. I'm much more successful with women who are 21-23 and no kids, they think the dad thing is sooooo cuuutee!
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
funny how they're attracted to single dads and we find single moms gross.
same thing with sluts
[deleted] 10y ago
Not all. But quite a few just don't seem to care. Until my kid starts cutting into her time with me.
surgeon_general 10y ago
I think this is the most devastating summary against single moms that I have ever read.
It's also next to impossible to maintain any kind of frame around these women. There's just no way to be cool here- it can be summed up pretty simply actually: If you spend time and money and are kind to the child, you will eventually start to be seen more and more as a beta chump. If you're not cool to the child, well, she'll dislike you because you're not cool to the child!
Don't be this guy: "He is sensitive, kind, attentive, and doting. He is so very patient and loving with my child. Because of these traits, I find myself feeling less attracted to him physically. He seems meek. It is truly something sick. I have a hard time looking at him on occasion, because every little quiver, every timid step, every noise he makes while eating makes my skin crawl. He follows me around and paws at me. He is far less experienced than I am in the bedroom."
Lilcheeks 10y ago
I've been out of the dating game for awhile but years ago I went through a few single moms briefly and the summary rang true on everything. Not necessarily every point on every girl but I could pick out traits and assign them all. Back then I just had my gut feelings and knew I couldn't deal with them for longer than a month or two. It's interesting revisiting those periods with this post... kinda clears everything up.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
Exactly. Holding frame against single moms is nigh impossible because of their astronomic levels of manipulation, emotional violence, and that adorable kid they will use as a weapon.
It's so depraved and immoral that I stay far the fuck away
trudatness 10y ago
God this is my ex-wife.
shivers
It creeps me out to think about how fucked up she is.
cover20 10y ago
She'll despise you for raising another man's child.
(Even though she roped you in specifically for that purpose. Consider her a giant shit test, you pass by staying away, or pumping quickly and dumping before it could be seen as an LTR.)
And you'll lose your life's time and money raising another man's child rather than your own. You will probably miss the opportunity to have your own children, or you will have less because all children count and "we have our two children now" even if only one of them is yours.
Why compromise all that? Just. stay. away. Don't jump in boiling oil either. It's a bad idea.
MajorStyles 10y ago
thats some serious red pill shit there. Deep down, she knows you weren't man enough to send her packing. Women understand the law of the jungle in a way that men never will. It's war for them.
trplurker 10y ago
Always has been. They only care for their own children while men care for all the children in a tribe. Her genetically programmed instincts push her to acquire the most resources for her offspring while denying them from others (if possible).
If you want to see some truly vicious, watching a group of "new baby" mothers. So much fake niceness it'll make you want to puke.
zephyrprime 10y ago
Men understand that law of the jungle when it comes to fighting but not when it comes to mating. It always terrifies men to be faced with how emotionally violent love and mating are.
[deleted] 10y ago
And now we live in civilized society, where there is no more fighting in the jungle.
surgeon_general 10y ago
I know what you're saying. The wisdom I shared comes from personal experience. I was being pressured to marry a single mother. And we were trying to have a child.
The thing is that she was literally the girl of my dreams, and I was having 5 hour sex sessions where anything goes. I couldn't have created a better sexual experience if I had a laboratory for it.
One day she robbed my house horribly, and thank God I figured out it was her. But she was pissed when I broke up with her.
My main point here is that now that my head is clear, and I'm not charmed anymore, this girl lost her looks pretty fast, and I was lying to myself about her kid not being a deal breaker. I was about to get involved in a situation that looked great at the time, but was well on its way to being miserable. I would have been married to a moody, psycho bitch who lost her looks, and her expensive, hyperactive kid who loves me and wants to hang out with me all day.
EDIT: I was a fairly big time drug dealer at this time, and she was after pot and cash. I just realized my story sounds a little funny that a girl who is probably marrying me one day is robbing my house. That's just how nuts and greedy she was.
trplurker 10y ago
The best sex is always from the crazy chicks. Their emotional instability is where they draw that amazing sexual energy from, and it's what will fuck your whole world up if you have involved long term. Those girls make the best sex partners but stay the fuck away from long term relationships.
KyfhoMyoba 10y ago
Sad, but true. It's almost to the point that if the sex is TOO good, then it's too good to be true (too good for her not to be crazy).
awesomesalsa 10y ago
Stay the fuck away from them period. Even a short term fling can end in far more trouble for you than the bomb ass sex was worth
Misterlulz 10y ago
Was that from another reddit post?
surgeon_general 10y ago
Yes. The woman who made that quote was from an article that was on this subreddit months ago. I felt that being in that guy's shoes is so deep that I put that quote in a book I'm writing. It's not really a red pill book, but it's about how I believe people can have good lives. Sometimes, it's what we don't do, and what we don't get involved in that enhances our lives.
Misterlulz 10y ago
Do you know what the book will be called? I'll have to keep a lookout for it. I love to read - when I have time.
surgeon_general 10y ago
It's called How To Be Happy 2.0. I wrote and self published the original How To Be Happy about 10 years ago. It never went anywhere except for being in local bookstores and selling on Ebay. My new version of the book is drastically different, and I think it just might get some credit.
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slcjosh 10y ago
"Even in the antebellum era, when slaves often weren’t permitted to wed, most black children lived with a biological mother and father. During Reconstruction and up until the 1940s, 75% to 85% of black children lived in two-parent families. Today, more than 70% of black children are born to single women. “The welfare state has done to black Americans what slavery couldn’t do, what Jim Crow couldn’t do, what the harshest racism couldn’t do,” Mr. Williams says. “And that is to destroy the black family.”
This is taken from a study by Walter Williams. Check out the article here: http://lonelyconservative.com/2011/01/walter-williams-its-the-welfare-state-that-killed-the-black-family/
[deleted] 10y ago
I think the only real time that single mom relationships work out well are when they end up with single dads. That way it builds a familial unit that is sort of equal because both parties are bringing children into the equation. It makes it more likely that the family will end up being very nuclear and if the single mother and single father meet early on in the children's life then this is even better because the children have siblings to grow up with
SheaDr 10y ago
Does this apply to a women whos husband has deceased? Or is this those that left them through means of divorce?
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
like i've said in this topic, widowhood is such a rarity that i can't use it as any standard.
we go by the rules, not the exceptions.
SheaDr 10y ago
ok new, the TRP and was curious, had a step mom who had a deceased husband and she was always putting her kids first before my sisters and brother. I know dem feels
tobythetiger 10y ago
Casual observation from someone who has foolishly dated two single mothers in the past. They both had dogs, both dogs were completely undisciplined, unruly as fuck, and shit and pissed everywhere.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
Women with dogs are a massive red flag. Massive.
Especially women with pit bulls. I have a pit bull and women with them always try and start conversations. I run the fuck away FAST.
PyrrhicIntent 10y ago
I can't stand by this. There's no need to run unless you are afraid or can't manage the situation. I am usually polite and let the dogs play or at least say hi. Dog behavior is a great indicator of who does and does not have their shit together, myself included. Though most dogs are out of control, some women can handle a big dog, the others will get the picture that they need to tone it down. Set a good example for other people especially if you have a big dog. Run away and you just look like a bitch.
[deleted] 10y ago
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HAMMURABl 10y ago
no? here are some attributes that commonly overlap with female pitbull owners
know a woman with pitbulls? check the above list
SrirachaJitters 10y ago
okayokayokay. I saw this posted on The Blue pill (im subbed to both just to see both viewpoints) and I've got to ask. Why? I've got a pitbull and I'd like to think I'm pretty realistic about things.
Sunshinelorrypop 10y ago
It looks like he's done a runner.
I'm guessing that is his experience with them. Usually people with pets are trying to fill a void, what kind of pet usually says something about what kind of void they are trying to fill, i.e. a cute dog is usually a baby replacement, an aggressive type of dog is usually a protector.
When a person gets a living animal to fill a void, it soon becomes a crutch and they no longer feel they need to find the answer in their character because they've got something 100% dependant on you that fills that role. Yet that character flaw remains evident to more perceptive people.
Animals ultimately belong with animals, not humans.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
don't have a full grasp in it yet but there is something there for sure.
kaihau 10y ago
I see this on Facebook with an old friend from High School. She had a child with a guy she had a one night stand with.
She wasn't all that attractive to begin with, and she dropped like 100lbs after the birth of the child. Now she looks anorexic and tries much too hard to attract men. As a lesbian, she's not even a 1 on the hot scale.
She often posts things about "Why is this so hard? I wish it never happened" with a sad face so people can comfort her attention grabbing because her kid has sucked every little ounce of exciting social interaction from her life. Or you'll see her dating, but it's been like 10 guys in the past 2 months and you can tell why nobody has stuck around.
It's not any bodies fault she screwed up and had a child at 20 with a guy she didn't know. She's crazy damaged goods and is a perfect example of the single mom described in the OP.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
Women who use children to get attention on social media disgust me, make me ill at heart.
awesomesalsa 10y ago
Wow. I'm not sure I've ever actually known a girl this trashy.
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TestosteroneFilled 10y ago
Completely off topic but: As a lesbian do you actually benefit from any of this stuff and actually lurk often or are you here by accident and saw a post you could share something in? Really curious
kaihau 10y ago
I mostly lurk, but I don't mind this subreddit. I keep seeing "why /r/theredpill is horrible!" on the front page, but I keep seeing an even balance of logic in here. I can relate to a lot of things though, and I deal with other women in some of the same ways. I'm not butch or anything, but I consider myself to have more of the "masculine" brain in a relationship with other girls.
FloranHunter 10y ago
I'd be interested in your perspective if you self-posted here. I know that women are generally more open around other women so you likely have some insights we won't get anywhere else.
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instaswole 10y ago
Don't say this on network television, particularly ESPN, unless you want to be forced to apologize and then suspended for a week for making a common sense remark!
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
that was the most embarrassing thing I've ever seen on TV.
stephen a smith lost all respect he had built
jaysire 10y ago
Here's som ed-ucation from 2001.
Some were wise to the game a long time ago.
RedPillington 10y ago
actually, it's kind of hard to get pregnant. makes you wonder about all these accidents.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
most of these women get pregnant when young and fertile
it's why men are attracted to younger women
cover20 10y ago
You spend your life, your best years and income, raising another man's child.
When the normal animal thing to do is to kill any children a woman has before you accept her, just so you are not raising another man's children.
My energy is spent on my own children. They are exhausting, but they are my real children, they will only know one dad and that's their real dad. Thus I get the best results and am not in second place to anyone.
The woman is probably a bad decision maker, but it's not about her. It's about me, and my unwillingness to spend my life's energy raising another man's children.
CokeandGrappa 10y ago
My first wife had 2 children from another man. I did hate them. My second one had 1 child. I did hate that too. Its not the kid, it was nice but spoiled, never had lived with her mother anyway, its the feeling. I did not even consider getting married, but over the years she got 2 of my kids. Then she ditched her kid, and i married.
Not sure i did it right. I love my 4 kids, but the bitch ... not so.
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HistoricalStickler 10y ago
I don't disagree with you, OP, but there is one particular type of single mom (albeit extremely rare) who deserves a bit more of a break:
The young widow.
It's not her fault she's single. So while SOME of the issues you raised may be present, she's not necessarily a bad decision-maker.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
Not her fault, but sadly this woman is the most impossible to date.
Death always turns men greater than they are. Not just with musicians and artists but with everyone. If her man died while she was still in love with him, he will elevate into a near deity in here eyes and you will always be a distant second place.
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Dishmayhem 10y ago
This op reeks of pigeonholing
busdrivertohell72 10y ago
Many of my female peers, (early 40's) have kids that are grown, or almost grown. What are your thoughts on these?
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
The kids are the ultimate baggage but not the majority of it.
There's a reason women with the highest divorce rate are women who have already been divorced.
History is important for a reason because it repeats itself.
everclearandmild 10y ago
Wow. This is the first thing that's actually offended me to the point of completely exiting TRP. Just....wow.
Later guys.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
adios, man.
i'm sure there are a ton of subreddits for men so desperate for attention they have to announce "I'M LEAVING"
TVTestPattern 10y ago
So long... nice not knowing you.
neurosurg 10y ago
I recently received an unsolicited message from a single mom on OKStupid. She was very cute, very feminine, stable job (nurse I think), around 22 or 23. Said she'd like to get to know me. But I've got no desire to be with a single mom or to be a father figure to another man's child. So I sent a short response: "I'd be interested in getting to know you too if it weren't for the fact that you have a child."
Short, logical, emotionless, to the point. Sorry, not interested. But boy, did her hamster BLOW up. I got a long message saying how "you don't know me!" got called all kinds of names, shamed for "making her feel like crap," etc. Serious indignation. I did not expect that level of rage. We dudes get rejected all the time, but when a woman gets rejected, be prepared for fury. They cannot handle it - especially when they have a chip on their shoulder in the form of a child out of wedlock.
Imagine what would happen if you started banging one, or worse, got yourself into a LTR with one. Single moms aren't worth your time in the first place, but this just reinforces that they aren't even worth a second thought.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
Women are hyper aware of their bad decisions but absolutely hate consequences and punishment. nothing proves women never outgrow their teenage emotions like consequences and being called out for their behavior.
Ironically enough, women are attracted to the men who do acknowledge and punish their bad behavior.
awesomesalsa 10y ago
Yep I was doing that on Tinder, telling the single moms that I don't date single moms. Every single one of them blew the fuck up like children. Of course the alternative would be for them to admit that they can't blame me, and psychologically that is too painful for them.
cover20 10y ago
Heh, bet you thought you were doing the right thing by being honest with her.
Next time you might get less shit if you pump then dump. Then you can blame her for not giving good enough head or whatever you dream up.
But generally she was mad because you pointed out that her SMV had fallen so far. Maybe she would have considered herself above you, now you're acting "all proud" and turning her down. I guess pumping first could actually make this sting less. But in the long run, you did her a favor.
KyfhoMyoba 10y ago
Now she will know to lie about the kid.
vengefully_yours 10y ago
Quite true. Where I live most of the single women have kids, and if she is thin she is probably into speed.
jd_coud9 10y ago
She likes to go fast... :D
vengefully_yours 10y ago
Go fast, not eat for a week, don't sleep for two weeks, have her teeth rot out and her skin go to shit before she is 27. Yep, its the fast way to the wall.
TattedGuyser 10y ago
wow, you reject a woman and the pretend trp whiteknights come out of the bushes. "Dont hurt her feelings you dick!"... It's getting pretty bad in here.
FloranHunter 10y ago
If anything, he's a particularly nice guy. I would have just neglected to respond, leaving her in the dark.
exit_sandman 10y ago
True. He didn't say "single moms are scum", he just said "I don't date women with children", which is a perfectly valid reason to reject someone.
TattedGuyser 10y ago
Any reason is a valid reason to reject a woman. Seinfeld had it right in this regard - be as shallow as you want, because at the end of the day, your the one who has to be with this person. Even if your intentions are not to be shallow, kids are a massive responsibility and time sink. If I've only got 2-3 hours a day to enjoy outside of work and other responsibilities, I may not want some other persons spawn annoying me or preventing me from being intimate with it's mother. Young kids are terrible in this regard, they require constant attention, meaning you won't be able to pry the mother away for long.. Unless she's a terrible mother, but that just says more about her. It's a lose-lose if you ask me.
99639 10y ago
Sure, but do you also want women who reject you at a bar to say "I would but your face is ugly"? No reason to point it out to them unless you're trying to make a point, and this guy was trying to explain TRP to this girl he isn't even interested in. If he lives in a big city who cares, but in a smaller town he probably just wrote off that entire group of friends because she sure as shit showed it to all of them. There's no benefit to him for his honesty.
neurosurg 10y ago
I didn't try to explain jack shit to her, let alone TRP, all I did was say that I wasn't interested because she has a kid. Get your facts straight dude. I could care less about this girl - I do live in a major city but it's beside the point. I could have sugarcoated it, "I"m not ready for that right now," etc. But I didn't and was bluntly honest instead. Why am I responsible for propping up her fragile ego?
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Chippsies 10y ago
And this right here is the problem. As someone mentioned above, women these days, have been made to believe that being a fucking idiot and having children by some loser makes them strong, admirable, and worthy of praise.
They take not one second to sit back and truly reflect on their bad decisions because no one forces them to. They raise bastard kids, with no fathers into adults full of fucking problems that hurt the society that we all have to live in and no one is allowed to say anything about it?
n0c0ntr0l 10y ago
Nah man.
It's fun to watch the hamster explode. Girls rarely get rejected so when they do they have meltdowns.
Always fun to watch!
realdev 10y ago
Guess you didn't read the "no concern trolling" rule huh.
PaulMurrayCbr 10y ago
For the same reason that Borat told the girls from PETA that at home in Khasakstan they hunt bears. For fun.
[deleted] 10y ago
eh, you could have just ignored and deleted her message. There's zero benefit to you telling her the reason. That's just being a dick.
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t21spectre 10y ago
He could of just been more tactful and said something like:
"I have not desire to have children so we would not be compatible."
neurosurg 10y ago
Sure in hindsight it was harsh. But as I said to another poster, why am I responsible for propping up her fragile ego?
korewarp 10y ago
How is it being a dick? It's true. I would want women to be true and factual with me - something I'll never get.
nsummy 10y ago
Its being a dick. I've gotten messages like that one there before and it pisses me off. Not about being a single mother obviously but still. If you aren't interested, ignore the message and move on. There is no need to write back and list the reasons why you think it won't work.
[deleted] 10y ago
Because its not something she can change. Its different to saying "not interested because you're fat" or whatever. She's not going to get rid of her fucking child because of you telling her that. You're never going to talk to her again, so whats the fucking point? This should just be common sense dude.
korewarp 10y ago
As if telling a woman: "Not interested, you're fat" is going to make her skinny. Listen to yourself.
rbrtpwll 10y ago
if we do it enough they might haha
thetenman 10y ago
Why would it matter what he says or doesn't say? Even if what he said was objectively being a dick WHO GIVES A SHIT. This chick is literally looking for a paycheck to latch onto. She is a parasite parading as a good woman. Her feelings are irrelevant.
nsummy 10y ago
And you know this how? Did you meet her? Do you know her? Plenty of single moms out there making a lot more money than some of the dudes on here, I can assure you.
thetenman 10y ago
You keep unicorn hunting. I will play the percentages and be pleasantly surprised if I am ever wrong. The simple matter of fact is that the vast majority of single parents, mothers included, are less well off financially then if they had another income to help support them. The single mothers that I have come across are desperate for a partner to help them raise their spawn. Money is just one reason for their desperation. When I am hiking or camping if I see a mother bear with her cubs I avoid the situation. Perhaps the mother bear is 1 in 1000 that would not murder you with out a second thought, but I will play the odds and walk the other way. When I looking for a women to share my wonderful life with the same rule applies, I will assume that the human mother is compliant with her natural instincts.
nsummy 10y ago
I avoid the bears whether its a male or female. Good luck never meeting a girl.
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TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
Why would you trust someone who beats you?
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TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
did you see my opening post?
no one just becomes an abusive man. there are always signs if you make good decisions and don't rush things.
stop making excuses for people.
[deleted] 10y ago
I think the reason there are so many 'single moms' is because the court system is so fucked and automatically grants custody to the mother. If there were truly equal rights, there would be a fair share of 'single dads' as well with equal amounts of baggage..
But your writing is spot on :)
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
Everything favors women in the court system. We don't bitch about it, we just learn to defeat it.
Government wants to give women everything in marriage, we don't get married.
They want to give women everything once it comes to children, we stop having them.
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LasherDeviance 10y ago
TheRyanGrey is right on most of this, but only in the general sense. OP, wait until you hit 40-45, and while fucking young sluts will still be an option, what about when you do want to have a LTR? 99% of women in a ten year age range of that will have a rugrat guaranteed. Then what?
I know a bitch right now that's 35 as well as I, with no kids, but the nice job, car, life scenario. This bitch is at the clubs, still every weekend, looking for "Mr. Right" super Alpha. She really believes that it will happen, and she shits on women with kids and husbands publicly, and they look at her like, "But I have what I want, do you?" I think a chick should have her kids while stil young enough, as the biological reason for men being attracted to younger women is because of their fertility. 38 year old bitches with newborns are the ones that drown them in cars and go nuts.
I'm as red as it gets, but as I get older, my stance on the subject has softened somewhat. My woman and our girlfriend (I'm developing a harem) both have a kid. I don't take care of my woman's kid financially, her dad does, and she made it clear to me early on that I wouldn't have to and that's one of the things that set me at ease.
I think that the age of the child is a factor as well. NO ONE wants to date a bitch with a toddler. Been there, done that, never again. You might notice that those are the chicks that are the most miserable. Older kids with a father in their life tend to be attached to their dads and won't pay you much attention, and will give you the free space and not crowd their moms as they are growing into their teens, and generally do not want to be around their parents.
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TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
You missed the point. It's not that single moms don't work hard or can't do things themselves.
It's that it isn't healthy for kids. I don't know you so I can't sit here and tell you what's wrong with you. I'm merely saying that statistically, something is.
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TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
my mom worked two jobs her whole life and towards the end had us living pretty well
doesn't mean her bad decisions didn't fuck me up more than any money could fix
Snivellious 10y ago
Even without any of your other rather informative stuff, this is valuable enough to justify the post. If everyone keeps telling you how great it is, but it feels like a terrible choice, you're probably being lied to.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
Anything that is heavily commercialized is probably unhealthy or some sort of trick.
There's a reason In-N-Out doesn't run commercials. There's a reason Lamborghini doesn't run commercials. There's a reason Radiohead lets you pay for what you want. Quality.
ChildOfTheLostTribes 10y ago
I feel done type of way in regards to #5 but as a fatherless black man, the truth hurts. I will say this: mom wasn't a slut but she was/is s naive, gullible bird with a heart of gold.
ogalvan 10y ago
In the animal kingdom when the male lion takes over a pride he murders all the baby cubs. While humans don't do this due to laws and morals there has been a documented increase in physical/verbal/sexual abuse with stepfathers (probably stepmothers too). Also single moms are usually the type of women who wouldn't give you the time of day before they broke up with their baby's daddy.
A lot of single mothers are basically prostitutes exchanging their bodies for financial support. I'd rather hire a hooker, at least she's honest.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
Like I said, single mothers are below sluts on the value order
cover20 10y ago
I think you mean child support not alimony. A much bigger and more permanent deal.
Courts are looking for some source of money to raise that child. If you get associated with the kid or the mother closely enough that they can make the excuse, they will do so and put you on the hook. Then they've taken care of the child and the state doesn't have to subsidize.
Stay well away. It's like a trap. It is a trap.
ogalvan 10y ago
Fixed thanks.
Yeah I kinda figured it's a trap. Even if shit works out and we end up getting married and "happily ever after". Picture me buying food for someone else's rugrats. Fuck that.
trplurker 10y ago
No, just no.
Human's aren't lions nor are we wolves or even apes. We evolved as a tribal species. The males work together to protect the females and young from external threats. We are genetically programmed to protect women and children, even children that are not our own. And there is nothing wrong with that, it's part of our tribal nature. It only becomes an issue in resource rich environments and with the concept of inherited property.
Unfortunately modern society has placed an insane burden on men to "raise children" irrespective of where those children came from. This is the primary reason you don't want to get married to a single mother, because the state will force you to pay for the other mans child.
My only issue with OP is that he sounds like he's still in the anger phase, which as a long time poster he shouldn't be. Single mothers are just human females who made a bad gamble based on short term thinking. They are no different from any other female, they all make bad decisions base on short term thinking. Our entire community is based on the male response to the realization that all women make bad decisions based on short term thinking. And thus I don't place any additional blame on a female who lost the gamble. I sure as hell won't try to turn a ho into a housewife, but I won't go around hating on them either.
niczar 10y ago
Humans are great apes. No if, no buts, we are. It's a monophyletic group. We have a common ancestor with chimps, bonobos, gorillas and orang-outans.
BeersBoatsBuds 10y ago
Could you give an example of another tribal species?
We evolved as pack animals. Tribe is just a synonym for pack that we use because we don't like to think of ourselves as animals. We are animals. We are social predators. Accepting our own biology is the ultimate RP truth.
thetenman 10y ago
You are wrong. A single mother's bad decision saddled her with a burden that will impact the rest of her social and financial life. As a result of this bad decision single mothers are frantically looking for a pay check in the form of a man to latch onto. This is a huge difference from the average woman's mistake of buying a hand bag they could not entirely afford.
ogalvan 10y ago
Saying something doesn't make it true.
http://www.cep.ucsb.edu/buller/cinderella%20effect%20facts.pdf
http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1090513805000929
http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/0162309585900123
PaulMurrayCbr 10y ago
Confounding factors at work here - how many of those stepfathers were bad-boy dirtbags? You know, the kind of man that a woman who thinks so little of her kids as to divorce their father wants in her bed?
noteventrying 10y ago
It is simple matter of fact that we are apes.
People are way more likely to help others that are related to them. This is covered pretty well in the "selfish Gene" which breaks it down by genetic relatedness
AFBB rests on the principle that with BB they are thinking more long term sometimes. delayed gratification abilities varies among all populations.
Id argue that TRP is based on the fact that women have a different reproductive strategy (AFBB), which has short term and long term goals, and that men shouldnt fall victim to this strategy.
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Mein_Tarnaccount 10y ago
Most women are basically prostitutes. The difference is just that with hookers, the price gets decided beforehand.
antariusz 10y ago
Don't decide the price beforehand. Tell them you don't talk about sex or money on the phone. Bring money. Start off polite, but distant, generally they'll ask if you like anything special. Tell them that the only thing that you enjoy that not all girls do is kiss. If they agree. Go caveman on them. Fuck them like a porn star. Rough, controlling, degrading.
Afterwards they'll realize they fucked up by not asking for money beforehand and beg you "for whatever you can afford, but I really want to see you again so whatever it takes to get you to come back"... take pity on them and give them whatever the regular going rate is for your area, minus 20 or so. Obviously rules #1 and #2 of dating apply, but it's worked for me more often than not, more jaded veterans will not kiss and ensure they get their money before any contact, but these are not the girls you generally want to give repeat business.
YMMV
PaulMurrayCbr 10y ago
Veterans always get the money up front, because a man will happily pay for the orgasm he is about to have, but not for one that is over and done.
FLFTW16 10y ago
I used to think this was a misogynistic view. Now I believe it and know that it is factually true.
Prostitutes are paid with cash per item at retail price. Honest transaction and both parties benefit.
Wives are a lifetime subscription that is paid for upfront, and they can cancel the man's subscription at any time for no reason at all and keep the subscription fees, and add on more (alimony).
If women are whores no matter what, I should think most men would choose to pay retail for the variety and convenience.
awesomesalsa 10y ago
item or service? lol
Mein_Tarnaccount 10y ago
Well, there's a huge stigma involved. We're still raised to feel like losers for doing it, or even thinking about doing it.
Plus, with "Pricing tbd" type relationships, there's still the chance she might genuinely like you and be an actual companion. That chance dwindles the more money you spend, but it's seemingly always there.
Edit: losers, not users.
ogalvan 10y ago
You're almost always paying for sex in some way. Either monetarily or by sharing a sexual experience or relationship with a female of lower SMV. In the rare instances where a couple are of the same SMV they are still "paying" for their sex/relationship except now it's an even trade.
CokeandGrappa 10y ago
You are aware a hooker can really like you?
[deleted] 10y ago
My barber might like me, too, but he's still gonna charge me $15 to cut my hair and he won't ever expect to sleep in my guest room.
Gaslov 10y ago
If you think your hooker likes you, she's a good hooker.
FloranHunter 10y ago
I mean, they can, but the former hooker I know sure as shit didn't like any of her johns. If anything it's probably why she outright hates men. Yet still she's highly charismatic.
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CrazyHorseInvincible 10y ago
Exit troll, stage left, pursued by bear.
TheeRyanGrey 10y ago
I know. I know. I know.
I shouldn't dignify this with a response, but some trolls are so extreme I can't help but let them know how much I appreciate them for bringing me joy.
Thank you severalsmallbirds. You have brought me humor this day.
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