At the age of 26, I was engaged to get married in twelve months. I had a photo of us on our desk and couldn't wait to be married.
I'm sitting at my office desk and meet a certain client for the first time. She comes in and we start talking. She was 34 and recently divorced.
From the moment she laid eyes on me, I knew she was looking for some prey.
She was quite attractive. Big breasted and a smile that would make you melt. To say the least my heart was beating at 170.
After talking some more, it becomes quite obvious that she is taking an interest in me. She even saw the photo of me and my future wife and says " A real woman would have her body pressed up right against you in a photo. Ya she seems nice" and my heart rate when above 200.
Now at this point I must admit I was very blue pilled and didn't know what to say or how to react to this ladies comments. I just changed the subject and got on with business at hand
At the end of the meeting, I was escorting her to the door and casually asked her what she had planned this weekend. She told me she was planning on going to Mexico. Had it booked to get away from everything at home. She then looked me dead in the eyes and says "why don't you join me? It will be my treat" and I said I'd let her know and she left the office.
My order co-worker over hears all this and comes running out saying "go with her. Believe me. If you don't bang her now, you'll lose your chance to do so and you'll regret it when your married". I didn't take him at face value. He was 40. Older than me. "out of touch" with values. So I laughed it off.
Next day I called my boss and asked him to transfer the client to another rep. That was the end of it. I couldn't face her. I was too afraid about
Here I am 10 years later. More aware of myself. More aware of my short comings of my past and stuck in a boring marriage
I think about that women every so often and when I do I remember my co workers words to me. He was right. I regret not taking the opportunity for what would have been an amazing experience.
To all the young guys, if all signs point to sex, then just do it. You will regret it if you don't
wobbleelbbow 5y ago
Most BP writing I read on TRP this year.
MCFiletMignon 5y ago
The only reason you regret it, is because your marriage sucks.
Which, btw, could be considered your own fault.
So just get a divorce and save everyone some of the time they have left.
RedPillWintergreen 5y ago
The way you tell the story, I am pretty sure she was teasing you because you are such a dweeb. She would probably laugh her ass off if she knew you still sulked over it ten years later. I mean come on, why would a woman invite a kid she barely knows to a sex vacation in Mexico? Couldn't she find a ton of men at whatever bar scene she is heading to?
solarcon6 5y ago
PS. If you want to meet other women, just don't do it in front of your friends or coworkers. Don't make your woman look like an idiot.
[deleted] 5y ago
I think the problem is your marriage, not the cougar.
You made that choice because it was right.
Maybe that woman was only waiting to exploit you.
Just think about your marriage and what's wrong with it, don't think about the ones you haven't fucked, your marriage wouldn't be better if you had done it.
(and sometimes the past seems better than what it really was).
The problem here is back at the time you didn't consider that woman a good experience and now you do for some reason.
That could be that your marriage is dead or you dived into it without thinking back then.
TriggeringEveryone 5y ago
Yup, if OP's wife was doing it right, his post wouldn't exist.
Andgelyo 5y ago
This is the one of the most scarcity mentality post I’ve ever seen, you’re married now dude. If you wanted to fuck other women simply just tell your wife, or fucking get a divorce. Can’t believe you’re still thinking of a one women 10 years later.
SeasonedRP 5y ago
To those remarking about character/values morality: if you are fraudulently induced to enter into a contract, the performance of which turns out to be one-sided in favor of the other party and harmful to your interests, do you say "well, I made a commitment, and it would offend to others if I were to stand up for myself," and continue to perform your side of the contract? Or do you declare the contract null and void based on fraudulent inducement and refuse to continue to perform, and go to court to enforce your rights if you need to? I do the latter, and so does nearly everyone in every comparable situation I can think of except marriage. Men have had it drilled into their heads that they have to suffer and serve women's interests even when they are duped. If that's how you want to live, be my guest, but I'd never advise people to throw away their self respect and conduct themselves in that fashion. Even in the religions some of you follow, people with money and influence are exempted from following the norms you hold yourselves to. Consider that when reflecting on how critical those norms really are.
With that said, I sure as hell wouldn't have gone on this trip. I don't put myself in situations where the other person has full control over me. Going to a foreign country with arrangements solely made by this woman could have led to a bad outcome. What if she turned out to be a psycho? What if she planned to have her husband show up so she could amuse herself by seeing him turn violent toward you? Always make sure you have a viable exit strategy.
​
tempolaca 5y ago
Fucking a girl from work, specially one past the wall, while you are engaged...are you out of your fucking mind? from the moment you fuck her, she would have had you by the balls, say good bye to your job, future marriage or most likely both. I say you acted correctly and dodged a bullet.
riggedved 5y ago
Exactly. TRP isn't about being unloyal and a cheating bastard. This point is so fucking misunderstood on this forum!
Think about it, you get what you give. Became an unloyal cheating prick, you'll create an unloyal cheating prick.
j_arbuckle2012 5y ago
This. That woman was a shark. You made the right move OP.
bjcm5891 5y ago
Good point. Take my upvote.
Andgelyo 5y ago
This. OP, is an idiot that just suffers from FOMO.
-Maksim- 5y ago
+1. Maybe I’m only 22 and don’t know shit, but...
Even if there’s many women that want you, if you make her your fiancée - she’s the only one that’s earned you. Don’t be a cheating scumbag to add another tally to your body count.
That’s what boys do. Not men.
j_arbuckle2012 5y ago
That's not it at all.
The fact was this was a "high power career woman" who invited him on a trip to a foreign country to fuck.
That's a problem, that's the perfect place to gain an advantage and blackmail material. He dodged a bullet.
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tempolaca 5y ago
I disagree. We are talking about a 26 yo beta here. He most likely would have gotten into a depression spiral that would take years to heal.
There are cost/benefits for every action. The possible costs of this action greatly outrank the benefits.
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Nicolas0631 5y ago
Mariage is just a contract and can be altered to be quite inoffensive, so that really this is no different to any LTR. I'd say children go with far greater consequences.
But anyway this isn't because things are difficult and may fail that you should not try them if you actually really want them. If you are just out there are pure blue pill doing it because other are doing it and not thinking much that another thing.
You should not avoid things just because they are risky. If you really want them you can embrace the challenge and go for it. That's true masculine behavior. The problem isn't to do it or not, the problem isn't it is risky or not, the problem is to go toward your real objectives, whatever they may be.
There high risk in many things like creating a company, pursueing difficult studies, even doing some sports. Doesn't mean nobody shall ever try to do any of theses things.
LightSkinKen 5y ago
Why get engaged if you knew you obviously couldn’t handle the pressure from other women. When I dodge a chick it’s because, Im legit good without her. You were dodging them because of the pressure and allure of fucking them. Seems like you know better now. But the advice you’re presenting isn’t real advice . You didn’t have a solid reason to not fuck her, just that “you couldn’t handle it”. and probably no solid evidence why you got married in the first place.
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swordshab 5y ago
It’s just sex, stop being a cry baby
TruthSeekingPerson 5y ago
If you had done it life would've kicked you in the nuts and you'd be posting about what an idiot you were to cheat on your fiancé.
This is a terrible post.
someonesopinion6969 5y ago
yep, he'd be posting on /relationships about how he's a terrible husband. the only point in my life where I felt massive guilt was when I cheated on my partner. definite scumbag move etc even tho clearly sexual strategy is immoral etc
TheStoicCrane 5y ago
Yup. When you cheat in a commited relationship the person your cheating on has their worth intact. It's your own value abd integrity that becomes diminished.
frommentoswansons87 5y ago
Seriously dude buy your wife some tits, take her to Mexico and stop making excuses for not improving your life.
[deleted] 5y ago
How do you know it would have led to banging her? You could have gotten strung along to Mexico only to get friend-zoned.
THEdirtyDotterFUCKr 5y ago
Nowadays you will regret it if you do or do not.
​
SKRedPill 5y ago
And 10 years later, you still regret it?!! And in the meantime, shouldn't you be on the mrp sub? God, how beta are you?
JohnIan101 5y ago
Regret can be fuel.
Not to be that way anymore and personal guide stone.
Regret is just that. You can have it and still move forward. Just like bad memories.
You need them, not erased. It made you.
CryingHappyMonkey 5y ago
You need to be more nuanced than "if all signs point to sex, then just do it". Some people are just metoo traps waiting to fuck up your life. Other people are simply crazy. Be smart: take advantage of good opportunities, avoid bad situations, learn to tell the difference.
ProFriendZoner 5y ago
Good judgement comes from experience.
Experience comes from Bad judgement.
Learning to tell the difference is usually from experience.
CryingHappyMonkey 5y ago
"Experience is a hard school, but a fool attends no other."
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stevecapw 5y ago
You didn't miss out on anything if you're only regretting it now. You're regretting it bc you aren't happy with your current relationship. Do something about it.
metallicdrama 5y ago
So this. When I was a teenager I worked in kitchens and did construction for work. All those old salty fucks, every single one told me never get married and fuck every woman you can. Goddam I thank them everyday.
VasiliyZaitzev 5y ago
Meh. Maybe yes, maybe no.
In general, we regret things we didn't do as we get older, bu I generally don't regret not fucking this or that particular girl. Just my $0.02.
bjcm5891 5y ago
I disagree.
​
I've had some "ones that got away" that I wished I'd got to seal the deal with, but others I let slide at the time and I'm glad I did. It wasn't necessarily because the girl wasn't a decent sort, either. One time in my first year of uni, right at the start of the year there was this American chick who lived in my complex, fresh off the plane and ripper body. First night at the student pub I hooked her easily- and back then I had no game. We went back with her group, we made out in the pool and then I went back to hers. But the fact I could pull her so easily made me wonder just how many other guys had torn that up? I didn't seal the deal with her and left, and when I got back to my flat a friend had texted me saying "If you don't nail her tonight I will bitch-slap you!"
​
But a couple of months later I heard some of the American guys talking about her, saying she was "pretty dick-thirsty" and apparently one night when she was drunk, she squatted next to our complex pool and pissed in it. Generally I've had more self-respect than to bang easy sluts. As they say, "nothing good comes easily".
​
​
TheStoicCrane 5y ago
College life is a dystopic, hedonistic, echo chamber compared to the real world. Once you hit your later 20s early 30s you'll realize how nonsensical college culture really is.
RedHoodhandles 5y ago
As always in life, you can only choose one path. You chose a path that sucks for you. The asumption that another path would have been better is wrong because you simply don't know and you will never know. Or to put it differently: shouldda couldda wouldda..
bakamoney 5y ago
Feels like lack of abundance.
Its like when relation starts to fall with someone you feel like oh fuck my ex was better.
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WarriorMonkMode 5y ago
I'm going to go against the grain here with what the moralizers are telling you and tell you this.
It's better to live a life filled with pain rather than regrets. Yeah, you saved yourself from a good time and now you'll never know what could've been because you were too worried about your marriage.
Now you're stuck in a boring marriage and you regret not fucking that woman.
Posters here are telling you stupid shit like "oh, it was actually a blessing in disguise because you could've wrecked your boring life, with your boring job, and your boring wife." Wow, thank GOD you didn't fuck all of that up, op! Sounds like "wrecking" your life would've been the best thing for you to break this deadly cycle of mediocrity.
Get a divorce, quit your job, and stop living a life of regret before it's too late.
Men are NOT monogamous by nature. Sure, you may give more commitment to one over the others but any man who rather fuck one hot woman over several hot woman is brain damaged. Do you really want to take like advice from men with a mental disorder?
So you made a "safe" choice and now you regret it 10 years later. Are you going to keep making safe choices or are you going to finally change something?
I mean, damn dude. The whole selling point of "morals" is to supposedly be comfortable in your own skin. I'm not saying to become a murdering rapist but come on, the world isn't so black and white that you can't break any rules.
valourtore 5y ago
Really, it’s all in retrospect now. 10 years ago it might have been the right choice to say no, but it should come from a position of awareness and ability to act on this (power) if he so wished. Back then he wished not, hopefully not because he has been conditioned to auto-respond that way. Not sure if he even considered that other option wholly because of his sense of commitment to his then fiancé.
Whatever it is, we all agree that the main reason is that right now he is unhappy with his marriage (sexually?)
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FullMetalAsshole 5y ago
I don’t know how old you are but you sound like a bitch.
If you’re so unsatisfied in your current relationship that you write about a 10 year old encounter with the zeal of horny teenager you got some splainin to do yourself about why you couldn’t lead you and your woman.
salinorum 5y ago
I know morality isn't really preached here and that when it is, it could be labeled as "white knighting."
My two cents is I've had opportunities like these and have turned them down because of my own character and values. I don't want to be someone who potentially wrecks a relationship, wrecks my own relationship, or gets charged with "rape" after the woman changes her mind (in order to save face w/ her partner), or used by someone simply because they want sexual validation. I've seen things go really sideways for people in my own life who were willing to chase after their lusts in detriment to their longterm commitments. Thus, what I say is not mere conjecture.
For you, that would entail that you cheat on your wife, go behind her back, and subconsciously make the assumption that you are willing to sabotage your marriage, your commitment, and potentially wreck other aspects of your life just because you couldn't get your lust in order.
I get it. There's a thrill in seeking out secretive sex and I also get that marriage / partnership can get quite boring so prospects from the past will haunt you. Ultimately, if you felt that way, you shouldn't have even committed to marriage in the first place.
When you're willing to sabotage your own efforts, it plants a seed within you that leeds to further sabotage in other areas. I can't really give this idea complete articulation, but its something along the lines of attacking your own ideals and character, attacking the best version of yourself. You're no better than an animal when you go chasing after skin when you've made a spiritual commitment to someone else...
juddshanks 5y ago
Agree with this. The OP regrets it because he assumes he would have had a fun weekend of consequence free sex- if he'd done it and it had turned bad in any one of the numerous ways it could have turned bad, it would be a totally different story.
Putting morality to one side, its stupid to put sex on a pedestal to the point where you close your eyes to risks. It's just sex. Fine you want to have it but sometimes it's worth it and sometimes it's not. If you're always going to say yes, you're a mark for every girl who wants to manipulate you by putting that on a table.
One of the best indications of a man who has good self confidence and generally has his shit together is one who can look at a potential sexual encounter, make a clear eyed assessment of the reward and personal and professional risks and costs and decide 'nope not worth it this time'.
TheStoicCrane 5y ago
When OP's on his deathbed I doubt this will be one of his regrets. Young twenty-somethings aren't really even adults from a developmental standpoint. The brain usually develops around the age of 25 so basically his hormones are influencing his thoughts more so than rational logic.
salinorum 5y ago
Spot on with that last paragraph. I think sexual thirst is perhaps the hardest compulsive behavior to conquer. If you can do so, you can rule the world
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Nicolas0631 5y ago
Sex is just sex. It is up to everyone to put their own priority in life.
As for opportunities, they are infinite, if that important to him he can still do it right now if he want even pay for a great looking escort if there no other way.
For me this is a problem of lifestyle. If you want to have casual sex with many women, that perfectly acceptable lifestyle, even if you have a wife, as long as you manage it and are aware of the risks. But a one time occurance missed 10 years ago, come on.
Everyone of us missed infinite number of opportunities in all aspects of our life. Deal with it and go forward.
What are you doing right now and what are your objective for the future is the real thing. Past can't be changed.
j_arbuckle2012 5y ago
You are truly enslaved to women if you believe that women are the ones responsible for the quality of sex in a relationship.
Men have all the power.
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Harleyskillo 5y ago
He still made a commitment with his fiancée. No matter how good you would feel by doing that, you still are breaking your principles. Its not about fucking that woman being worth or not, its about keeping your deals and keeping your word. The moment you marry you do that. By cheating you just admit that you are not a true man in this aspect, and one of the first principles of TRP is self improvement, isn't it?
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Nicolas0631 5y ago
Agree for the morality or principles.
What is important is to really understand what you do, what you want, be clear on your objectives and act toward achieving them. Once this kind of things are settled, one shall pounder his choices rationnally.
Harleyskillo 5y ago
What you say makes sense, but my point is that following ethics can also be about your principles. In your comment, ethics and morals are a set of rules that people imposed over us and naturally we hate them.
But is it like that? Did you ever consider that people might like doing the "right" thing from time to time? It's not about what you should do to fulfill the rules, but about doing what you think is right, and feeling good about it. The only coincidence here is that not cheating is also a good thing in the beta world.
You don't need to go out there and break every "rule" simply because you are smarter than everyone and you don't need to follow them, you should be able to break rules when you think this would add something to you.
And in my perspective, not cheating and feeling that you did what you think you should do, which is keep your word and promises, is much more important than simply fucking her for the sake of rebellion.
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Harleyskillo 5y ago
Then he should not have made the marriage pact, or even divorce as soon as that lust was not being fulfilled. It's not like he was obligated into marrying or staying with given woman. If the grass is greener on the other side and the fence is open, do it right, divorce/break up, whatever.
HatefulTwerp 5y ago
Unfortunately, women are completely different to men. They do not have that sense of integrity, character or higher purpose. All women are always looking for the BBD, the Bigger, Better Deal, and they will have no hesitation in flirting, sexting, cheating and then dumping your ass, when they find it.
Any man who fully commits to a woman is a chump. If he thinks she is committed to him, he would do well to go through her phone, install a keylogger on her laptop, or something like that.
odaklanan_insan 5y ago
When they are in love with you though...
They adore you so much, you think they'd never cheat on you.
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OldPeopleLeather 5y ago
If you're engaged to marry a girl, fucking the cougar sounds idiotic to me. If she's worthy of investment, I don't see how they'd be content sharing.
redpillcad 5y ago
Your underlying hypothesis is that now you can't fuck other women because you got married.
Let me clue you in...you are a man and can do whatever you want
Thotwrecker 5y ago
This is completely the wrong mentality. Your goal as a young man (and older man too) should be to be getting enough pussy such that you're not worried about passing up pussy. The whole end game here is to be A-OK dropping pussy - that is actually how you GET pussy.
Being willing to drop pussy and being apathetic about any particular pussy -- any dude who's been actually getting results with TRP for a year or two, they should be working towards this as a goal. Women can feel that and it actually helps you get laid way more. It's abundance mentality.
The solution here isn't to be so needy for a particular pussy that you start being super duper eager to just fuck the first workplace thot you encounter -- that's not the lesson here. To covet and crave that little IOI you got and obsess about it years later, that's not the lesson here.
If you're regretting passing up pussy, that's a wake up call - the lesson there is you go get laid in general so you're OK passing up pussy. I have lost out on so much pussy for saying dumb shit, for kicking them out if they didn't want to fuck instead of "demolishing their LMR using escalation strategies", for whatever reason, I've disqualified myself on purpose from more pussy than most guys have got in their lives and I don't regret any of that missed pussy. It's just pussy, dude. Missing out on that pussy isn't going to help you with your stale dead bedroom 10 year marriage. Kind of like being a star high school quarterback is cool, but like seriously, put a bullet in my brain if I'm a 30 year old looking back and being like "well at least when I was young I was a star and I fucked cheerleaders and I was somebody".
People in a shit tier marriage to a bitch might regret that they didn't get more thot pussy, but getting that thot pussy wouldn't have magically saved them from being a beta in a shit tier marriage.
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someonesopinion6969 5y ago
you're putting pussy on the pedestal. - oneitus if all signs point to sex, yes you may regret not taking that action but you also might be a beta cuck who jacks off to porn too much therefore your sex drive is depleted
you didn't have to get married either, you made that choice. the fact you're still thinking about some random girl 10 years ago shows you have problems with abundance. just go and find a hooker who looks the same. either way you end up wasting time/money.
masterpiece00 5y ago
Men you will regret nothing more in your life on this earth than blowing your seed with all those female cum dumpsters, don't worry about the sudden fading attraction and the need to get away from them as soon as you unload.
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SuperCrazy07 5y ago
Dude you must have a super low SMV if you’re fantasizing about a missed opportunity with an older woman from 10 years ago. Especially with the heartbeat nonsense.
If you need to fuck something other than your wife, just go do it now.
drkinferno72 5y ago
Careful now
Could've gotten herpes, one of those butterfly event things
McVaghunter 5y ago
The fact that you're sitting there jacking off to the fantasy of fucking a thirty four goddamn years old post wall woman tells me a lot about your current SMV and marriage.
10 years from now you can either be the same low SMV fuck, married to a 40+ yo completely unfuckable woman and jacking off to the same old fantasy or you can be a 46 yo fit and well dressed high SMV single man spinning a couple of young 10/10 plates. Your choice.
​
RandomlyChosenTitle 5y ago
Getting hung up on a weekend of sex that you passed on a decade ago is the pinnacle of scarcity mentality. Ask yourself why it even matters at this point. I bet what you'll find is that you're still seeking external validation through sex, and even after 10 years you're basing part of your self worth on this woman's genuine desire. Knock that shit off and be the prize.
Anyone with even the slightest amount of game plus red pill awareness should be able to pick up a decently attractive post-wall divorcee any time they want. Why bother thinking about one that you let get away?
TheStoicCrane 5y ago
"One that got away?" That piece of tail was a wasted effort to pursue in the first place! 34 yr old post wall, c'mon now! If anything he was the one to get away from a trainwreck and is too blind to realize it.
RandomlyChosenTitle 5y ago
Agreed, which is why I phrased as one he "let" get away. OP is obviously still caught up in her though and doesn't even realize the bullet he dodged.
ex_addict_bro 5y ago
Nice oneitis momma boy.
Also this could be a setup.
UnbreakableFrame 5y ago
Why are people moralizing this garbage rather than dismantling it RP style. You literally have had oneitis for a post-wall divorcee for what appears to be a long time. You have 0 abundance. This shit is so pathetic it hurts. If you want to fuck other women just leave your "boring marriage". Be a fucking man. Be the kind of man with unlimited opportunities. Do you know how many women an attractive man meets on a given day that he could have deep-throating him by the end of the evening? What is this sub coming to.
omen_tenebris 5y ago
Read title. Fuck no!!! I've had the chance of fucking a grill when i was 16, who i later fell in love with. Thank motherfucking god, she rejected me. Had to suffer through some pain, but i'd still be a simp if she'd have wanted me for relationship.
Also SIMP me refused sex cos she was in a relationship.
All good fam, don't beat yourself up.
After reading through.
Should have fucked her, and should have not married
_do_not_read_this_ 5y ago
Nice after-action report, ten years later. The problem sometimes is recognizing the opportunity in the moment and not a half hour later when you're on your way home (done that too often). Would be great that they were all this obvious!
OnlyCuriosity 5y ago
why are you even giving one second of thought to a post wall chick you possibly could have banged 10 YEARS AGO? you must be some kind of desperate...
MobleUserNameMu 5y ago
Wrong. You dodged a bullet.
TheBadGoy 5y ago
Speaking of marriage, today's Brendan Fraser's last day of alimony! I shall have a drink to celebrate!
keeponlifting 5y ago
Don't beat yourself up about it, the past is in the past. Nothing good will come of it. Instead focus on your goals.
mrmaldoror 5y ago
Are you a failed writer too?
This story sucks and you should feel ashamed.