A friend of mine recently had his wife ask him to open their marriage. Basically cuckolding
We were chatting over some beers and he was down in the dumps, saying he couldn’t believe she’d ask something like that. He said 5 yrs of marriage, and she never once hinted at not being happy, and how he was shocked at how disrespectful it was that shes not ask, but demand they “open their marriage and explore other people”
He asked me what he should do. As much as I wanted to comfort him and tell him it was gonna be ok, I had to give him the honest truth.
I said “walk away. It’s done. It’s beyond saving. If she’s asking you to open up the marriage, chances are she’s already been unfaithful or has someone picked out. She’s setting you up for failure. If you say no, she’ll cheat anyways then divorce you and if you say yes, she’ll lose any respect that she has left for you anyways, and still probably divorce you”
His mouth dropped, eyes widened and he stared at me for a good 30 seconds “I can’t believe you what you just said! Fuck you!!”
I told my “friend” that I know it hurts, but that’s the truth. He’s not in a position of power to negotiate or leverage his wife’s loyalty back. It’s gone. In her eyes he’s a betabux and that’s it.
I tried explaining to him that women are hypergamous in nature and that no amount of counseling, begging, pleading, couples therapy or talking it out would save his marriage. She’s made up her mind that he’s a provider and a beta male, and she wants to go have sex with better, more alpha men then him.
I tried explaining to him that it’s not her fault, its in her nature, and we live in a society that openly champions this kind of behavior. The best and only thing he can do is divorce her, let her go and improve on himself
He proceeded to start telling me how I was sounding like one of those incel, alt-right losers who hates women, and how he doesn’t like what I’m saying and implying
I proceeded to remind him that he’s the one who’s wife is getting fucked by other men..... He stormed out and haven’t heard from him since
Blue pill beliefs are like a religion to some
He’d rather hold on to blue pill beliefs, get cucked rather than take the redpill, go through the pain and become a better man
eyewant 5y ago
Yes. We as a society are proud of hypergamy and the fact that betas (i.e. most men) are punished.
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thebadmanpuntdbaxter 5y ago
Try the socratic method next time
RavelsBolero 5y ago
Your friend is dumb as fuck. I have this issue a lot of the time. You can't help that, and I know exactly how it feels to give great advice and have it shoved back in your face. Just deal with it and perhaps enjoy the "I told you so" moment when she divorces him.
zealanderx 5y ago
There was nothing radical about what you said to your friend at all.
You just recounted the facts as you know them... I think it's good advice and you are a good friend.
Self-honest 5y ago
You fucking dummy. That's not how you influence people. Inception... man... You needed to lead him, but let him speak the answers into existence as he realized them.
You were just regurgitating things you read here. And basically calling him a loser while doing so. Red pill or not, you think anybody is going to respond well to being called an idiot loser you dumbass?
Get what I'm doing here dumbdumb? Once I activate that negative feeling in you, you don't want to listen to a fucking word I have to say... dummy... lol
Gcarney17 5y ago
Well I’d rather have the whole truth laid on me than be a delusional dim witted blue piller. If you can’t handle your friend dropping straight truth on you then you shouldn’t be friends.
Self-honest 5y ago
Me too man but human psychology normally works in a certain way. The ego protects itself. And there are better and worse ways to open someone's eyes to information that you don't have distinct proof of.
SheepWaker 5y ago
It's best to use Socratic Method. It's been a proven way to reach people for 2,000 years!
Self-honest 5y ago
Exactly. That's what I based my understanding a long time ago. Thanks for bringing that up. I had forgotten the source.
Self-honest 5y ago
And...don't talk about fight club. Probably reach out to your buddy and see how he's holding up.
[deleted] 5y ago
This comment needs to be higher up.
Self-honest 5y ago
I've only fully red pilled one friend. He was later able to recognize his wife cheating when he would have otherwise been blind to it. I did it indirectly.
He asked if him being happy about getting a check from his dead grandmother's estate made him a bad person. I told him that he was conditioned to feel bad about things like that. Death is perfectly natural. Money is awesome.
HE dug deeper. I mentioned feminism and alpha characteristics versus beta programming. He asked more questions. I gave him a little more. After we discussed enough ideas, I would send him a random Red Pill post to discuss every so often. Or a post related to a topic we had talked about. He would experiment with ideas and we would discuss further. I would do the same.
I involved him in discovery. I didn't preach. Probably saved him months or years of bullshit. I lead the horse to water, then let him express his desire to drink, then gave him water.
[deleted] 5y ago
Yup, preaching is basically ‘Captain save a bro’. If you really want to help someone, don’t give them YOUR solutions. Subtly help them come up with their own. Anything else is ego motivated if we’re willing to reflect honestly enough.
bcvickers 5y ago
I really respect your approach but I think we should consider that nearly every situation is going to be different and it's going to have its nuances. Some situations all but require us to confront them head on while with others we can afford to take a more tactful approach. I think it's important that we recognize that fact and that there's not a one size fits way to bring guys around to TRP. Personally, if I had a good friend come and tell me about a similar situation, at this stage in life I'd be pretty tempted to just lay it out there for him because life's too short to pussyfoot around. I'd hate to see him waste time trying to stay in a shitty relationship.
Self-honest 5y ago
Find me an example where head on confrontation with the red pill worked. You are unplugging someone from the matrix. They will resent you and want to plug back in.
I get that you would be tempted to lay it out there because life is too short to pussyfoot around, but Law #38 and experience says you will only out yourself and lose power/influence/a friend.
Aggressive_Beta 5y ago
Post should be titled “hostile reaction to me being a socially retarded sperg”.
Lessons learned: 1. don’t talk about fight club
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SeedThrownAway 5y ago
The concern isn't about 'fee-fees' it's about an ineffective method. TRP is life changing if digested properly but can also fuck you up if it's presented or perceived incorrectly.
For instance, what if now the 'friend' totally rejects TRP before knowing more about it aside from "it sounds incel/alt-litey"?
[deleted] 5y ago
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SeedThrownAway 5y ago
Point is his friend might not have rejected it if it was presented tactfully.
[deleted] 5y ago
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AshyLarry27 5y ago
Classic rookie mistake. You don't talk about TRP in public, like it's some "cool new edgy shit I need to tell me broz," ever. It's simply too radical of a set of ideas for people who have never red the side bar. No one RP's people, they come here on their own. There is a reason we treat this place like "Fight Club."
gains_o_clock 5y ago
should've stopped after first paragraph and let him find out for himself. First rule of TRP is don't talk about TRP.
Crystalide 5y ago
Exactly, judging by the reaction his "friend" had after that, he should've just stopped there because it was obvious that his friend wasn't ready for the truth.
Then he told him his point of view, but couldn't handle what came out of his mouth even though he was the one asking for advice
The rest is just rubbing the knife in the wound
RamRanchCowboy 5y ago
Exactly. If he doesn’t already know or hasn’t found or exemplified these philosophies on his own, he isn’t ready or willing, and will reject them. Most people prefer to shield themselves from the harsh, ambiguity of reality rather than open their eyes and see what is obvious. It’s not our goal to spread TRP so much as it is to cultivate and hone and protect its core ideals & premises. To try to save those who are blind is a futile effort.
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gbdoragnic 5y ago
> to me it boils down to women want to maximize their choice. doesn't sound unreasonable to me. we all do.
Women want quality men want quantity, Hypergamy is a smart choice , seeing as you have to carry a baby for 9 months you better make it count, it's important because if 10 men are on a island and 10 women are on a island, 10 of the women will date the top 2 men. whereas men would be more than happier with a 1:1 pair ratio
It's a side of human nature , not a attack
gains_o_clock 5y ago
well said, and it's good that you have boundaries for yourself when it comes to RP, I doubt most guys here agree 100% with everything that comes up in here and it's good that you have morals and things you believe are right and things you believe are wrong/misguided
[deleted] 5y ago
btw thats a bullshit rule, if the goal is to get pussy, yes dont talk about it, if your mission is to lead, you are going to have to unpack its ideas eventually.
gains_o_clock 5y ago
unpacking its ideas are not the same as strictly talking about TRP, but I get where you're coming from. You have to radiate rp in your daily life and not just keep it bottled in to spew stuff through a keyboard into a forum while not actually using it in real life.
[deleted] 5y ago
Yeah, and when I encounter someone with a strong frame, I cannot just be ernest and ask if they are aware of what they are doing. So far the best chances I have had to weave it into conversation has been to get men to just admit to the dumb shit they do for their wives happiness that leads to their destruction then ask them why they allow the behaviour to occur if they wouldn't allow it in their children. Ya know, twisted shit like rubbing the fact people have kids that anchor them to misery.
jonpe87 5y ago
You should have said to him to tell his wife that it is awesome, and teach him how to get new pussy, get fit, and etc
ever3st 5y ago
he was not ready, maybe take it slow
Truth is, if his wife is as terrible as you depicted her - your friend, will come back and will apologize to you later.
ImperiallyInclined 5y ago
Too much too soon..
Also, offering a radical new point of view when someone is in shock is not going to sit well!
Rollo_Mayhem3 5y ago
You basically choose the nuclear option, and blam, he walks. You provided no context, no lead up to how you arrived at these conclusions, you hit him stone cold hard as fuck... too much, too soon. I think you could introduced the concept of dread and how could just say No to her and then go about increasing his SMV...lift, find a mission, be more unavailable, flirt with other women, etc..
[deleted] 5y ago
Not radical at all, but personally, If a barbie doll wants to open a relationship, I usually agree because: -She thinks it's a relationship, when in reality she is just a cum depository for me -I don't have to feel guilty for trying to nail her sister -When I'm drunk or high, I at least have someone I can randomly text shit like ”I’d love to put my dick between your tits”
JamesP2018 5y ago
The first part was ok. He asked for input. Everything after the can't believe you said that comment made you look like a crazy person. Don't talk about redpill. Talk about books, talk about personal experiences, talk about stories you heard, but don't talk about theory to someone who already has a concrete model for how stuff works. There's too much stuff to do and decisions to make for one to be open to questioning of his basic life premises without care and gravity.
xjx545 5y ago
I was like the OP's friend once, and looking back I would have wished someone would tell me the truth. But the irony is that it wouldn't have worked. I was, like him, too stupid to even be able to process the advice until I finally had to confront reality. Personally? I would tell him to say "no" and tell his wife he wants to remain exclusive. It will speed up the divorce and his eventual healing.
helaughsinhidden 5y ago
In the same boat with my own brother, even recommending the books was too much for his blue pill mind. The COGNITIVE DISSONANCE in the blue pill man is strong. They KNOW the way they are is shit, but won't accept that they chose the wrong path and need to change. Poor bastard. No one enters into a woman-led open relationship and comes out ahead. RIP.
[deleted] 5y ago
I have a friend in a similar situation. Let’s says I handed him my copy of The Rational Male. I feel like this would be a bad decision and it’s why I haven’t done it or talked to him about it.
iamriviera 5y ago
This. I hope OP didn't actually say the words betabux and hypergamy. No social calibration whatsoever.
Heizenbrg 5y ago
Yea that was cringe and I already hate these fucking terms.
nananaNate8 5y ago
What would be the social calibration version? Just curious because I never have talked about trp with anyone, but if I can save a beta why not?
iamriviera 5y ago
OP job was done here. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. Betas most of the time need to learn the hard way: they need to be betrayed, stepped over, divorce-raped, and left miserable crying on the floor before they realize something is wrong with their world view. Before that, they'll fight you tooth and nail to keep believing their blue pill fantasy, so sweet it is.
In other words, don't worry about saving betas, if they're open to help they'll eventually find their way here—we all did. If you insist in helping a friend, at least you should avoid using manosphere terminology so as to avoid looking like an alienated misogynist; you need to ease him in into the process, it's years of social conditioning and core beliefs being utterly shattered before his eyes.
Thotwrecker 5y ago
Yes, this is the extent I would go with for a friend that wasn't either very close or family. Think about what type of guy gets into that situation - the type of guy who was not cut out to be the dude who can take charge of himself and his woman. Knowledge is only going to make him more aware of how he's been weak and cucked by his own faults, and this will make his brain literally implode. He can't think beyond the general and vague. Give him a teaser if he's someone who's welfare you genuinely care about, but understand - most of yalls best bros would sell you out for pussy. He's damn well more likely to shit talk you to win approval from others than to actually meditate upon your advice and be grateful.
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legitimateusername4 5y ago
"Hostile reaction to giving advice in spectacularly poor manner"
redpillschool Admin 5y ago
He will now attempt to negotiate her attraction to him. It will fail.
You cannot negotiate desire.
ozaku7 5y ago
Exactly, you have to gain the means to simply induce it. Attraction isn't a choice, it's an involuntary reaction.
OracleofFl 5y ago
...and you cannot negotiate from a position of weakness. It isn't negotiating, it is begging.
Self-honest 5y ago
Irrelevant to the point. Even from a place of strength, you cannot negotiate desire.
newName543456 5y ago
Aka you're never in position of strength to negotiate desire.
Self-honest 5y ago
Aka pointless comment. What are you adding by saying that, that wasn't already said? You cannot negotiate desire. There is nothing else to say.
newName543456 5y ago
If you struggle with grasping logic, it may be pointless.
But it's actually pretty useful to understand, why it doesn't work instead of simply repeating it like a mantra.
Self-honest 5y ago
You didn't explain anything about WHY it doesn't work (it never works).
Since you don't think "fire is hot, it will burn you" is enough to keep people from putting their hand in the oven; feel free to explain it for the class in a way that isn't just re-phrasing what was already said.
And do it without trying to attack my ability to grasp your "logic".
newName543456 5y ago
Actually I did. And you showed you don't get it. And got offended over me pointing that out. How very redpill /s
Not sure why is it so hard for you to grasp that if you try to negotiate desire, you are assuming position of weakness and it's why it never works.
Wrong.
What you do is equivalent of saying repeatedly "fire will burn you", never adding anything more.
Self-honest 5y ago
Lol sure dude, you're too smart for me and I'm offended by it. Now I need to go cry.
The point is, you cannot negotiate desire. Saying it with more words from different angles is meaningless. Occam's razor that shit and be done with it.
Again, feel free to explain to the whole class the ins and outs of female desire and why it can't be negotiated.
You argue like a woman. Best of luck to you buddy.
newName543456 5y ago
LMAO.
That's actually worse than women. This is why much of mainstream mocks RP as you take everything what TRP says blindly without verifying or giving it any sort of examination or trying it out IRL.
You are the one who needs luck with that attitude.
Entropy-7 5y ago
If he wants to save his marriage (for whatever reason) then agree and amplify. Open it up and then work on YOU. Build your SMV and fuck more and hotter partners than she does. Then give the ultimatum to call the sex war off. Either she zips her vagina or you divorce her for Suzie fashion model.
Keep in mind:make up sex is great.
Get this shit out of your system and carry on.
irritus 5y ago
Jesus dude he would’ve been better off being hit by a bus than dropping that on him in such a manner
EscortSportage 5y ago
"Blue pill beliefs are like a religion to some"
So true! Many men I talk to always ask me, "when are you getting married"?
Im not, why would I? Theres zero incentive
They look at me like Im from another planet, listen guy, if you want to live how society wants you to live and be a slave to a women, and kids sure go right ahead, Im going to do racecar things, ride my motorcycle, travel and meet women every step of the way. Hey if you wanna put your stupid family member stickers on your cool minivan and show the world how much debt you are in, thats fine Ill be over here getting richer and richer and enjoying myself.
Futon_Rasenshuriken 5y ago
I hate when people say it's not a woman's fault for her cheating/unfaithfulness just because it's "her nature." It just shows a lack of responsibility and self-control.
There are a good deal of things humans do because of human nature yet they're never given the "It's not your fault. It's in your nature" excuse.
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HansCool 5y ago
It’s a somewhat necessary outlook in the sense of not holding others responsible for your own happiness. I interpret it as “don’t expect an abusive girl to change her behavior just because you think they ought to”.
For example, what’s the point of arguing with the women in that Wendy Williams clip about tricking men into pregnancy when I could just manage my contraception or get a vasectomy?
You could say this is victim-blaming for men, but I don’t expect the world to change anytime soon.
Your_Coke_Dealer 5y ago
The entire premise of society is a suppression of our nature as animals for the purpose of maintaining a peaceful and collaborative coexistence. A component of that is the pairing structure of commitment and marriage.
People reject their animalistic nature on a daily basis in many aspects of life, because reverting to it bears consequences. Violence over conflict is nature, but I would totally be at fault if I punched someone for impinging upon my territory/area/property rather than peacefully telling him to leave. Likewise, women seeking stronger mates is nature, but they are not faultless for doing so, and as such face consequences (revocation of protection, resources, and support), for breaking the social agreement of commitment.
We at TRP, however, believe that society is in a decline, meaning we are collectively reverting more towards animalistic tendencies. That means that people are more and more likely to disregard consequences (women will take the risk of loss of support) to break social conventions. It also means we can take advantage of that, because we get closer to animals’ behavior of doing a little show-off of status, and get sex/mates.
In other words, we don’t allow women’s breach of social agreements go without consequences, but we do expect the breach to happen and not dwell on it when it does.
xyals 5y ago
Completely agree with the note that now in North American society, women actually get rewarded for breaking that social convention because if she cheats on you and goes to court for anything, she'll probably win. Which means marriage is riskier than what everyone is lead to believe and men have to be better and better at managing their relationships because the traditional societal constructs are holding less and less power.
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look_good 5y ago
Saying it's in their nature isn't taking away agency. Actions have consequences.
who says this?
Futon_Rasenshuriken 5y ago
OP when trying to to drop some RP advice and a good deal of other threads here.
look_good 5y ago
yeah, that’s some ‘nice guy’ trying-to-be-rp shit. fuck that, don’t be scared to call a bitch a bitch
Your_Coke_Dealer 5y ago
OP is a dumbass, not just for that (which may be either just misstated or the misunderstanding you bring up), but for dumping unsolicited information on his friend
look_good 5y ago
you live and learn. it’s preached for a reason so people don’t have to learn through experience. i made this mistake early even just by sharing red pill concepts. lazy fucks don’t want to lift and womenz are angels to bloopers.
DonSwagger1 5y ago
First rule about TRP is... We don't talk about TRP.
I know you are tryna help but he's path is still firmly set on blue pill. Hints here and there may push his cart of that track, only then will he be open to more redpill ideas.
Start of with helping him self improve his image perhaps. Would be interesting to see how indirect coaching could save another man.
[deleted] 5y ago
Hey, I’m sorry your dad died. Everyone dies at some point, it’s only natural. You’ll move on and life will get easier!
By the way, did you know there’s no heaven or hell and we all just rot in the ground?
Lmao dude. You can’t just open someone’s mouth and forcibly drug their ass. Surprised he didn’t deck your ass.
CyberGremlin 5y ago
Honestly, I think you need to talk to some of these guys like they're women. Women don't want advice and they will get frustrated if you try to give it to them, as if you're talking to a man. The best thing you could do in this case was just be there for your buddy and let him talk things out on his own. Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you are willing to seek help from places you'd never consider before because of pride.
[deleted] 5y ago
Lol. So he got mad at your advice and not about his wife asking him to be cuckolded ? The soy is strong in this one.
FeralRed 5y ago
Read this love letter to understand how you fucked up.
You can't save someone who is adamant that they don't need saving.
[deleted] 5y ago
That's a cold, letter. Cold, but true.
MomentumRising 5y ago
Good solid advice.
You are self-qualifying your position. Don't. Stop at the good advice, acknowledge his hurt, whether or not he gets it is up to him
[deleted] 5y ago
mate, don't ever unleash red pill philosophy. just don't bother, you're not gaining any pussy from it, so why bother
[deleted] 5y ago
You conveyed the RP truth in a very crude, hurtful way:
However, you did sow the seeds of doubt in his mind and that's good. I suggest you apologizing to him for the way you said those things but sticking to your arguments and rephrasing them in a way that you don't demean his personality at all.
Jakei34 5y ago
To us, these things are completely normal. And when giving advice, especially to one I consider friend, I usually don't hold back either. But you have to keep in mind those plugged in don't get it. What you said is completely regular to us, but for them it's extreme.
You wasted your time.
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink it.
You see, giving advice is never a bad thing. That's what friends are for. But when it comes to the advice we have gotten on a regular in this subreddit, it needs to be toned down when given to others plugged in. Dropping a simple truth here and there stings, but won't hurt as badly and won't seem as extreme. What you did was just dump it all onto him and it was too much for him to grasp.
Regardless, your advice was truthful, but the worst thing when it comes to being plugged in is that the truth always hurts.
Edit: and if your friend decides to not talk to you for telling you the truth, he was never a friend to begin with.
Ray_pinasses1210 5y ago
What’s gonna sting more? My words? Or much pain he will go thru trying to convince a woman who doesn’t love him, not to fuck other men, while losing all his self respect and looking like a total beta billy to everyone around him
BewareTheOldMan 5y ago
"...friend of mine recently had his wife ask him to open their marriage."
Despite every word of your advice being true, you hit him with hardcore RP Theory and Principles and for the unplugged, uninitiated BP Man it's basically information overload.
It's a really tough pill to swallow - no pun intended.
After a while it's possible you'll hear from him again once he's had time to digest the information and especially when his wife again hits him up with the request to open the marriage - she wants confirmation it's OK for have sex with other men. That should jolt him back to reality, offer proof that he's not enough, and that she's either actively searching or has already found other men for her sexual escapades.
He'll come around because he has to...and especially AFTER he discovers her eventual infidelity.
Jakei34 5y ago
What's going to sting more is the latter. Unfortunately the former (your words) will not always be enough to save a plugged in man. What it will take is a downfall and major failure on his part, in addition to the experience of being ruined by some bitch.
This is what it took for many of the experienced members of this site and it just may take the same for him in order to get it. Seeing the reaction he gave you when you told us everything tells me it all. He needs to live the hell before he can get that helping hand (you) to pull him back up and help him realize that he was wrong and you were right.
And from then on there, he will grow as a man.
I can't say that you HAVE to do this or that, but I'm just saying what I believe is most logical. You're his friend. The most important thing you have to do is be there for him when it all goes to hell.
Your_Coke_Dealer 5y ago
You should have stopped with just the part about his wife. The rest was unsolicited advice about the nature of women, and he didn’t need any of it. He needed to know his marriage was fucked and how, but all else was counterintuitive.
Trying to tell him the whole “don’t blame her, nature of women” is pointless. There’s an anger phase for a reason, and step one is being pissed at one particular woman as if she personally is a piece of shit. More life experiences will lead a man to the conclusion of AWALT, and eventually to not hate the players but play the game. But he wasn’t there yet; he didn’t need to know the game existed, let alone the rules. He had yet to get off the bench and stretch his legs
Let this be a lesson to you: try to “Redpill” someone, and they’ll be overwhelmed and reject it. He couldn’t process all that from hearsay, and your efforts to bring him up to your speed condemned him back to full cuckoldry. You can’t save this guy; leave him be now. In the future, learn what needs to be said, say only that, and leave it there. It’s no different from ruining your chances with a woman because you run your mouth too much
Killing__Time_ 5y ago
The best advice you can ever give to someone is the one that they know deep down already. All you need to do is pull it out for them.
You said too much. You should have stuck to the first part, maybe given an example or two.
Never discuss red pill explicitly.
boy_named_su 5y ago
You did good. He needed to hear that.
look_good 5y ago
Have social intelligence. People are wired differently, you know which of your friends is a bitch, you can't be real with them.
trplurker 5y ago
Your mistake was trying to unload RP concepts without being in the right position to do so. You can't lecture RP into someone, their mind will reject it every time.
The only thing you should of said was the part about it being over and his best option was to divorce her quickly, cheaply and move on. When he reacted negatively your response isn't to double down nor back out but just shrug and be like "dude that's just how shit is man". He'll be pissed and walk away, but he'll rethink it later. By adding all that extra RP stuff all you do was make him reject ~ALL~ of what you said, including the part about him walking away.
Morphs_ 5y ago
Let me present a different point of view for the sake of having multiple views on the matter in this thread.
A friend of mine was happy to hear this wife address this subject a few months into their marriage. They both shared the same stance: you don't own the other person, and you can't fulfill all sexual needs of the other person.
But it does require letting go of the feeling of owning the wife. Interesting fact: she exercised the right once, and he hasn't yet because he didn't care to go out hunting yet.
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newName543456 5y ago
Better yet: don't get married and entire issue will never exist. Plus no divorce rape to deal with. But if someone wants to get cucked, they're certainly free to do so. Just hope for the best. Personally I think it's a dumb risk to hope for the best, when you limited your exit options on your own volition, so better not to limit them in the first place.
You say you don't own the wife? How about: you don't own anybody except yourself? If so, it shouldn't be a problem to let them go if they so desire, and have them return the favor, if tables are turned. Except marriage contract goes against that by definition, so talk of "you don't own me" in the context of marriage sounds a tad misguided to me.
BTW
Sounds like hamstering and in fact he'd struggle to get some anyways. No wonder his wife needs some more D.
SimpleJacked 5y ago
I've had experience in open ltr before red and while learning Redpill. They do not work on her end. The man can make it work because we can detach our emotions from sex. She cannot.
Half of all my lays have said they are fine with just fucking but eventually fall in love. If it's your wife that will happen to her in an open ltr.
Women will also weaponize anything in which they are allowed to use. She's is allowed to fuck other people? She will try to use it to hurt you.
Your friends wife said it's was only one time but she is getting dicked down endlessly behind his back. Because if she is caught she has no consequences other than apologizing for lying. She knows he will stay.
There are endless lessons to learn that most people cannot see until they have tried it.
Ltr are Redpill on hard mode. Opening one is some kind of through the fire and flames legendary difficulty that is likely impossible.
Morphs_ 5y ago
They are very transparant about their experiences. Also, in the meantime she has been delivering two babies, so I doubt your claims are true. And even if it is true, my fiend doesn't care because it falls inside the arrangements that they made.
0kool74 5y ago
And that is the equivalent of Neo upchucking in The Matrix. But at least you gave him the cold hard truth. That's all you can do. It's up to him to believe it.
TallSwaggOVO 5y ago
First of all, you were doing good when you said to divorce her. You should have kept the advice as general as possible. He asked what you should do, you told him.
But why the fuck did you actually say the words, “hypergamy” or “beta bux”? You fucked it up there. You should have just kept it as simple as possible. Oh and if he stays with her, ya friend a bitch
OODBX 5y ago
He'll either come around when he sees your words are truth...or kill himself. Some guys just can't be saved.
ljozmo 5y ago
Think about it in terms of fight or flight. This guy is already confused and upset and you’ve released a massive dose of norepinephrine into his system. Instead of wanting to flee his marriage that he’s thinking is solvable, he’s chosen to fight you. It’s a bit too much too soon OP. You have to ease him into TRP lifestyle not smash it down his throat all at once.
toweringalpha 5y ago
Red pill truths will only become self evident only when one goes on a mission of self discovery. You cant teach it to others, they have to search for it.
PhaedrusHunt 5y ago
If he's gonna be a little bitch you should get first dibs
Fyn689 5y ago
You need more empathy when saying stuff, man, you need to put examples you've known, even better if both og you know the example, you need to say "hey, I understand this fucking sucks and it hurts like hell but think about this: ..." and so on.
Now I totally understand how you feel, because of course you were then upset about what happened, about the willful blindness, but you know, be softer next time.
I have come to a point where I can't talk about women with my friends, I can't talk about the mayor power struggles of the world, about financial intelligence, about anything red pill really, and that's because when I got this group of friends I was the deepest shade of blue you can imagine, and so are they. The difference is that through trauma I've transcended, and they have not. It makes life lonely, that's for sure, but better in the long term.
Your friend will remember the talk with you a couple of years from now and say "the fucker had it right" .
SimpleJacked 5y ago
Yea it was too much for his friend but it's the truth. Probably wouldn't use Redpill terms but it's sound advice.
His friend is beta cucked and has chosen to slowly cut off his foot instead of ripping off the bandaid.
That bitch is 1 of 3 billion but he's going to placate just to get a whiff of her shit. Pussy is the mind killer. It's sad how guys today have no self-respect.
xRaiden99x 5y ago
Good, sometimes its better to give them the cold ass truth especially if hes a close friend. Let him digest it he will apologize.
uwey 5y ago
Law 2 and 3
For never trust your friend, and learn how to conceal your intentions.
Speak red pill truth is bad, I had a successful social life because I always act RP and display BP.
Game based: Do RP, act RP, but when question, talked, using BP as front, have deep understanding of BP mind, and advocates BP when being questioned or in conversation in the group.
Never wins a argument, always win by actions. I would like lynch someone publicly by using their own ideology.
Again, Win through action, not words.
Your BP cover will be unchallenged, aka get a pass because you are not standing out with your “rebellion” beliefs.
Remember, it is dangerous to ever, TO EVER choose sides, remain vague and mysterious of your idea and beliefs, to NEVER revealing your deepest intent, your goal, your “trade secret” ever to anyone.
If you want to speak and influence someone when using such words, as “secrets between us”, use something that conspire to throw them off.
You speak BP and ultimately get a strong mind fuckery to have intentions to get someone fucked. So no one can attack you based on your beliefs.
Make sure put out a great public image and BP speech, sheep skin is very comfy, you get your own franchise defended by:
-not get attacked, or slander, or public execution.
-out maneuver others, because your common image.
-able to identify others better, because simple minded RP would speak their idea against yours (BP) and real BP would attack them, and fellow BP skin RP would keep observe you, to check your actions actually. People change, and that is exactly what they do.
Stay vague, for your maneuverability. Some problems are never meant to be solved, and some idea are never meant to be discussed and some words are never intended to be used as the way it is.
Violate these laws can cost you tremendously.
djh860 5y ago
My sons are still young enough that I’ll have time to share red pill wisdom now that I’ve had my eyes opened
TravelingShitLord 5y ago
"Man up" and videotape his wife with you. Maybe then it will stick?
I agree with everone else about this. The first part is what is needed to be said. After the fu, I would have just shrugged and grabbed a beer.
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MentORPHEUS Endorsed Contributor 5y ago
First, learn about the Socratic Method of teaching, wherein you ask leading questions, allowing the student to discover that they already mostly know and agree with what is being taught.
Second, people change slowly. When someone makes a great insight, it's tempting to try to run with it and teach them everything while you're on a roll. What you need to do when someone gets a flash of insight is to STFU and let them process it in their own due time.
EnragedParrot 5y ago
You have any good reading recommendations for the Socratic method? I understand it, but I suck at it.
Casd12 5y ago
Good job. You did him a great favour, he just doesnt know it yet. Sometimes you have to play the bad guy despite your good intentions. Sometimes you have to push him into the deep end and watch him struggle to swim, then when he curses you pushing him into the water, tell him to stop being a weak ass bitch and learn to swim.
[deleted] 5y ago
He must fix himself first. If it doesn't work out Divorce is the only path forward.
BobbyPeru 5y ago
First 2 rules of fight club
SKRedPill 5y ago
Let the red lightning strike him, then he'll be back. Only experience ever embeds stuff inside one's cells.
Frontestgecko 5y ago
Men in this age are very effeminate, hence his reaction.
[deleted] 5y ago
OP should volunteer to sleep with his friend's wife.
ApexmanRP 5y ago
Wow!
Nothing you said is surprising to us, but for a BP chump, you literally blew his world to pieces!
I have tried unplugging a few guys, some buy into it, some buy into it a little, to fit their own narrative and some react against it.
[deleted] 5y ago
Congratulations. You've beaten level 1.
civilizedfrog 5y ago
Captain Save-a-Joe to the rescue.
You don't force-feed him the pill. He needs to find it himself.
cglehosit 5y ago
Don’t talk about fight club
The_Chiselnator 5y ago
What you should do is fuck his wife for him. He will wake up.
[deleted] 5y ago
Lol of course he gonna be pissed dummy, you could of done that shit better, don't fucking whine about it here
Zanford 5y ago
"Unfortunately, no one can be told what the Matrix is. You have to see it for yourself".
Your advice was great. Maybe too good. Too much for him to digest too quickly? It's tough in your shoes though, since you probably only had this one chance to talk to him before he "agreed" to shit with his wife.
LMAO golden. Holy shit.
"incel, alt-right losers who hates women"
wtf has this guy been reading? has his wife had him on a steady diet of soyboy bloggers for the last 5 years? That definitely smells like "shit I read somewhere and just regurgitated out"
Anyway....sounds like you didn't lose much of a friend. The good news is....there will be a time in the future when he, in an ego-crushing depression at his wife's whoring, will remember your advice and realize with horrifying clarity how right you were.
He may or may not be man enough to hit you up again and admit it, but nbd either way.
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zyqkvx 5y ago
If you consider him a good person you did the right thing by take the hit. He might hate you now, and understand later, and possible continue to hate you, or maybe thank you but don't count on it.
I can't speak from experience but I think it was good to hit him hard and early. He has a lot to sort out and it takes time. You made it harder for him now, but the ammo right in the beginning to sort it out the right way.
That said if my woman said that to me I'd already be set on a divorce. I'd covertly talk to a lawyer and see how I could set her up to be destroyed in court. If it checked out I might tell her sure, and have her wingman for me. Because if I'm living lutz then I can't be pickled by hate.
CasketCadaver 5y ago
fuck em. you cant save everyone
[deleted] 5y ago
"I tried explaining to him"
There's your mistake.
Nutman-maddog 5y ago
You should’ve shut your mouth after you suggested the divorce. Too much, too soon. If he wasn’t open to that idea then how the fuck is he going to be able to comprehend the hypergamous nature of women?
Ray_pinasses1210 5y ago
Wouldn’t it be more of a dick move to tell him what he wanted to hear, let him get cucked, then divorce raped. Then look absolutely foolish
Nutman-maddog 5y ago
Not through his blue pill world eyes.
You tell him what he wants to hear. He thanks you. Gets divorced raped. He won’t see any fault in what you said.
He’ll probably just blame her. Like most do.
Good on you for trying to help a mate with TRP but too much is too much. I have friends that come to me with their blue pill outlook on problems and I have to be very indirect with giving them advice.
VasiliyZaitzev 5y ago
Here’s his first problem.
His underlying problem is that you told him he would have to go out and start competing again. Billy Betas don’t like that. They want to keep living under their bubble, and be fat, dumb, and happy. Or at least deluded.
TrustYourProcess 5y ago
"We have a rule. We never free a mind once it’s reached a certain age. It’s dangerous, the mind has trouble letting go."
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[deleted] 5y ago
If he wanted to save his marriage, his only play was to act excited and tell his wife that he wants the same thing because there’s someone he’s met that he’d like to bang. It’s a long shot, but his only shot.
AnantGoswami 5y ago
Dude you sound like Liam Neeson when you said this. "walk away. It’s done. It’s beyond saving. If she’s asking you to open up the marriage, chances are she’s already been unfaithful or has someone picked out. She’s setting you up for failure. If you say no, she’ll cheat anyways then divorce you and if you say yes, she’ll lose any respect that she has left for you anyways, and still probably divorce you”
Cold. Objective. But true. Like him from taken or the grey.
Self-honest 5y ago
Yep. It's a shame we don't live in the movies or that shit might be effective.
Zanford 5y ago
Haha true, how I'm hearing those comments in his raspy wise voice.
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BirdManBrrrr 5y ago
Give it some time, he got all butthurt over it initially but now the thought is in the back of his mind whether he likes it or not. Sure, maybe still in denial, but you did plant the seed. He'll figure it out on his own eventually but your friendship may or may not reconcile. Be OK with that, but don't be shocked if he comes back with "you were right".
I had the exact. same. conversation. with my ex wife at one point, and thankfully the nice red pilled men on reddit told me what you told him. Set things in motion, albeit I was open to potential answers and not merely in denial of the situation.
[deleted] 5y ago
"He stormed out and havent heard from him since" - that part made me laugh. Your first piece of advice about it all being over was perfect and would have been enough, Just The Tip my friend.
I found myself going a bit too deep into this shit with a couple of friends, one was fucking a 19year old from work and I told him when it started she would get bored of him and ghost him, as she already did the same thing with another guy in the office a month before (After the obligatory dont fuck around at work advice). Of course he kept being a beta and she lost interest quick. Now I think he resents me a bit because of it lol.
Just remember, keep it on the down low, and if you really need to, Just The Tip.
AllahHatesFags 5y ago
What an idiot. What did he seriously expect you to say after you told him that? Congratulations, you should be grateful to be a cuck? Your friend apparently has no self-respect.
Sumshot 5y ago
Do you know what marriage is for? It is to _take away_ exactly this ability.
So that advice is not even good, it's actually pretty bad. It's okay to tell him that his relationship is _probably_ done for and would have been better to tell him to start prepare to leave his woman with as little trouble as possible.
[deleted] 5y ago
Back when the dinosaurs carried the milk, yeah. That was both intent and practice. Now? Given no-fault divorce and divorce rates, the only incentive to stay married is on the man so that he does not get divorce raped. Women have every incentive to divorce and monkey-branch. In this case, the institution of marriage allows the woman to hold a gun to the guy's head and say "Accept my infidelity or pay through your dick hole...".
Sumshot 5y ago
I didn't say whose ability to walk away is taken. I assumed it's clear from context.
NormalAndy 5y ago
" I proceeded to remind him that he’s the one who’s wife is getting fucked by other men..... He stormed out and haven’t heard from him since "- farking hell! You gave it to him straight alright.
Perhaps a softer approach in this case might have been: "if you love her, then you have to let her go....."
Although, the hard truth is "wtf bitch? NEXT!" (even if you do have to sugarcoat it for public taste and decency) and go spend time down the gym until things start to improve in a year or so.
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Fyn689 5y ago
One of the rules of success is to give back. If you find someone willing and open to learn, I'd recommend you to teach, the world is a better place with more red pilled men in it.
ozaku7 5y ago
That's just another man who thinks that women are property and can be owned like a car or a house and ofcourse, dearly mistaken. He fails to recognize that women can see their value on the market, and getting a beta male is the easiest thing a woman can do. Therefore, dumping his ass will result into no loss and she considered her request to be a win-win. Either she gets rid of him and gets to fuck the alpha dude, or she gets to do both, which is even better. So instead of divorcing him, she opted for the option of getting even more value out of her situation.
Your friend is dilusional, more over the fact that he cannot recognize that women have their own will, desires and needs and fails to meet them. For him, it's difficult to find a woman and lives in the world of the one-and-only soulmate fantasy. That's where we get to the part where his wife is his everything and is insulted by you devaluing her to just some random woman. As for her, her husband is just a random beta guy and she can get better anytime. It's just that after 5 years she realized she won't get any younger or prettier, and it's now or never to live life to the fullest and get fucked like she desired in the last 5 years.
It's the kind of man that believes that everything is alright and will be because they vowed to stay together until death do their part. That's like a home owner not maintaining his house ever and telling himself it's fine as long as it's standing, even though that's barely...
Random_throwaway_000 5y ago
FUCKING LOL MAN! Pull some punches when you're talking to a friend going through a hard time.
WarViper1337 5y ago
Ouch. You pretty much shoved that red pill right up his ass without lube lol. TRP is not a suppository. It has to be taken in small doses at first with that person coming to their own realization of female nature.
[deleted] 5y ago
You know sometimes it boils my blood how repititive this situations are that you could just write a program. Won't even need those high tech big data ai implementation. A single loop and some generic if else statements would do
AFthrowaway3000 5y ago
Reminds me a little of this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=skbmXIzxcZY
RandomReeditUser 5y ago
He's like most people, can't accept reality and chooses to live in his bubble. It's just sad, he will spend the next months or years taking the redpill the hard way, and at the end if his programming is deep enough he will still refuse to accept what happened to him.
I also agree there's a way to ease people into things, but when someone asks for advice what they usually are asking for is a simple pat on the back.
mette13 5y ago
Seems like you kind of bombarded him with that paragraph. Perhaps sprinkle the truths to him next time.
"You should divorce her, she obviously wants to meet new people."
Then again, why would you want to help a BP anyways? Even if they are family and friends, they can't be saved most of the time and you are better off comforting them.
ZeroSixNiner 5y ago
Don't forget the source of the term "red pill". Morpheus' words in the first 40 seconds of this played out exactly before your eyes with your friend. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SF2iImTqaTs
RPAlternate42 5y ago
Only give one thing at a time. And then use the, "my dad once told me..." Or grandad... Or "my uncle went through the same thing..." Or "my brother's wife did the same thing..." And then use normal language.
Basically you are just a medium through which information is passed.
You framed it as, "let me tell how this marriage stuff works..." Except you haven't been married.
You said your piece and that Bell has been rung.
[deleted] 5y ago
You can lead a horse to water, can't make him drink
matrixtospartanatLV 5y ago
The trick is to show him where the water is after you make him thirsty.
[deleted] 5y ago
Some choose to die from thirst because it's "easier" to live in ignorance and self-imposed misery than to accept truth
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[deleted] 5y ago
Since when did hypergamy becaume "faux evolutionary biology"?
TheRedPike 5y ago
Since you dimwits didn't report the obvious blooper.
Hit the report button people.
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Herdsengineers 5y ago
too much, too quick. he couldn't absorb it BP filters in full force.
less is more for responding to guys in these situations. something like tell her "do what she wants, but if she does this she won't do it and stay married to him".
then advise him to distance from her, lift, and work on building him, separate from her.
linkschode 5y ago
If you want to give someone advice, the acceptance of which requires them to change deeply held beliefs, never tell them they are wrong or make them feels silly. Also don’t make them feel stupid or unload a flood of reality shattering information.
You did the right thing being honest with him, that’s what good friends do - give you the truth despite your feelings when no one else will.
If I’m in this situation I try not to comment on their situation directly, but offer examples separate from them that make my point for me.
First though show that you’ve understood their position entirely by explaining their position back to them, then try figure out other beliefs they hold that are in contradiction to their current situation.
Let them have the battle internally when the conversation is over. Let them think with an outsiders perspective about the examples you gave that have nothing (and at the same time everything) to do with them.
This way they do all the work themselves, you haven’t made them feel silly or fatally threatened their reality in a single sitting.
People are much more likely to change their minds slowly and if they’re able to rationalise themselves to a new position. It’s hard to take this tactic because of course it’s so obvious to you what’s wrong and what they need to do, but practically no one can handle the upheaval and on the spot humiliation to themselves and a friend that would come after your unloading with, “yeah, everything you said is right l, and everything I’ve said and have been doing for X years is wrong”.
It’s classic sunk cost fallacy, people reallllly don’t want to admit they’re so heavily invested in a losing bet, it has to happen piece by piece and on their own terms.
About the actual situation, I’ve been through this myself with a girlfriend. You think you’re giving her what she wants and that somehow this makes you a more caring and reasonable man than the rest, but in reality she’s decided you’re a cuck provider and that she has the right to get her alpha injection elsewhere.
Anyone who agrees to this (and even more so when you’re married and have taken lifelong vows for fuck sake) is permitting betrayal. Absolutely right that the moment she said this the only conclusion a reasonable person could draw is, “this relationship is over”
Poor guy, I hope he sees sense and divorces her entitled ass
stylesm11 5y ago
Dude asked for a bottle of water and you could help but to drown him with a gallon, come on guy
Mr-Ed209 5y ago
'You have to understand. Most people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured and so hopelessly dependent on the system that they will fight to protect it.'
jinglebells89 5y ago
post/reason no. #1,456,124 not to get married. Women pull this crap like a light switch:
"He said 5 yrs of marriage, and she never once hinted at not being happy, and how he was shocked at how disrespectful it was"
There are too any external factors that prevent a woman from remaining faithful in 2018. plates? Dating? FWB? Sure, fair game. Involving the state and a binding legal contract w/ a 2018 modern day woman? F*CK NO.
[deleted] 5y ago
Jesus man why did you have to push ya friend off the over pass, you couldn't have asked him some questions to lead his mind to where he needs to be......
How long have you know this friend and why is your ego more important than him finding the red pill?
This is not an attack on you, these are questions to help you move forward.
thepontiff_ 5y ago
One stroke in some ass for our lost brother ????
kyzen142 5y ago
He will be back I am sure but resisted the temptation to say " I told you so ". Instead guide him.
inexorable_stratagem 5y ago
You need to learn how people comunicate. You need to improve your empathy.
What you said is correct, but they way you said it is not. Go slow, be indirect when needed and be aware that talking on a emotional level can be far superior than talking in a rational level
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DeadliftRx 5y ago
AHAHAHAHAHA
Who gives a damn!? You offered him The Red Pill and he rejected it. Why would you even want to have children this insanely beta as 'friends'!?
AHAHAHAHAHA Thanks for the laugh!
impulse616 5y ago
Seems like good advice, red pill or not. Hopefully he sees the light after some more reflection. What a fucking shit situation : /
TRPingtonVT 5y ago
Dude, wrong move. That is a very dick thing to say to your friend. Small doses.
thepontiff_ 5y ago
You want him to find out the even harder way. Always stay 2 steps ahead of the women bro.