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reecewagner 6y ago
I understand and agree with TRP's standpoint on social media, that being, use it responsibly and with character, if you're using it at all. Don't tweet out the first thing that pops into your head for attention-seeking or validation purposes. The logic checks out on a masculinity level.
My question is, why don't TRP users apply these same social media standards to Donald Trump? The guy routinely shits out the first thing that pops into his head for mass consumption on a national level.
[deleted]
heroicnapkin 6y ago
Force yourself to make eye contact. Embrace that weird feeling in your gut until it goes away. There are no magic tricks, only practice.
Radinax 6y ago
Your thoughts on Alpha Male Strategies on youtube? That guy is legit and on point on almost everything, really glad I found him because it complements very well the sidebar.
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myroommateisasian 6y ago
I go to a pretty good university with a ton of tall good looking dudes. I'm already kind of on the shy side with people I don't know, and I can't really use my height, athletics, intelligence, or attractiveness to stick out from the crowd anymore. It's so hard to distinguish myself from the crowd in this new environment.
I'm 6'2" 175lb, but I'm probably average to lower average body size compared to everyone here. I've been lifting, getting high grades, and setting myself up for a good internship but everyone else is doing the same or better. It's grueling to work so hard in every other aspect of life just to be average, while also getting minimal hookups along the way. How can I get noticed a little better?
ananyo007 6y ago
I've recently started counting my words when I speak.
As in, if I have to buy a cigarette, instead of saying it as hey bro, could you hand me a box of flake I put it as a box of flakes, please.
Same goes with casual talk with friends. When somebody asks me how my test was, I simply nod with a contained smile rather than describe at lengths something arbitrary, hollow set of words that don't mean much, as in: Yeah, it was alright, uuuuuhhhhh I mean I don't know. Okay I guess.
Think of it like Ryan Reynolds in Drive. He barely spoke! I think it supplies to the power that I hold over the conversation and the person, keeping him/her at bay, adding a layer of mystery to myself.
I was wondering what you guys think of it.
swagile 6y ago
Usually, the less you speak, the more power you have.
I have noticed a portion of cutting down your words makes people uncomfortable. If you give minimal answers and stay quiet but receptive (aka what you say relates to what they say, so it shows your not just nodding along), people have the need to fill the empty space with details about themselves.
Women use this to great effect when they give the "silent treatment"; you get stared at with a passive aggressive "I-hate-you-but-really-I-don't-hate-you-but-really-I-do" stare till you finally blurb everything you did wrong but then you realize she had absolutely no idea you did 90% of what you just stated you did and now she has a REAL reason to hate you.
Triplescrew 6y ago
So this one girl I've been seeing seems really into me, texting me constantly etc., but I've had to initiate all of our meet ups thus far. Should I wait for her to make the next move? I asked her out last weekend and didn't even get a response because she was feeling "out of it," so I don't want to keep initiating if it's just going to make me look needy.
womans_algorithm 6y ago
2 strikes apply here. You invite her out, if she declines for any reason, you try again, if again she declines, she's out.
mental_models 6y ago
be patient, be sure to keep dating other women, and continue to occasionally initiate with this specific woman.
Sometimes you have to initiate.
Self-honest 6y ago
I've got a girl like that right now. I want to fuck her, she has huge tits. Right now I'm ignoring more than 50% of her texts and teasing/being sarcastic the rest of the time. She cancelled our date last weekend because she got sick with bronchitis and went to the hospital. More than likely all made up.
This week she has been sending me pictures, telling me I'm really intriguing because most guys can't handle her sarcasm (shit-tests), and "warning" me she might try to kiss me if we go out. I ignore her and just talk shit. She's validation seeking until she sucks my dick and fucks me. I told her she can pay for my night out whenever she gets healthy. I'm not putting any more effort in until I put my dick in.
Triplescrew 6y ago
I made out with this girl, but nothing more. I'm thinking of going your route, either ignore her texts or act sarcastic with my responses. I don't want to turn into her source of emotional comfort while she gets Chad on the side
Self-honest 6y ago
Don't base your thought process on her. Base it on yourself. Who cares if she fucks Chad? That's going to happen either way. Your interactions need to be solely for your own enjoyment. Are you getting what you want out of the interaction? If not, do something different. You game her, don't let her game you.
antonioxvx 6y ago
Hey man, one question. How much of an idiot I am for being the emotional couch of this girl in exchange of just some pictures and some dirty text? Literally reading this thread I realized I'm her orbiter, fuck. (She's un another country)
Self-honest 6y ago
Man I was thinking about that last night. You're not an idiot. You just haven't clearly defined what you want. If you aren't getting what you want, and you keep doing the same thing, then you're somewhat of an idiot.
Ccarlial 6y ago
I just read "Models: Attract Women Through Honesty", it was suggested through this site. Its mainly about attraction through open and honest communication. The Author said he usually walks up to a girl he thinks is cute and says something like "hey, i think you're cute, and i wanted to meet you", however often on here I read about masking why you are talking to her and acting like the meeting was an accident. So what is better to be bold and say why you are talking to her, or to be cunning and hide your intentions? I'm interested in any personal experiences with either approach.
swagile 6y ago
Depends on how the girl responds and the body language you provide.
If a woman responds negatively, like "eww" or any derivative, you have to always remember there is more fish in the pond. Especially if, when you realize this, you firmly respond back in a confident manner, like you don't give a shit about her, and start talking to her friend next to her (if there was one). If not, just walk away.
Just think this in your head when you approach either without showing interest or by showing interest; one of the girls you approach wants to literally jump your bones right there and then, but societal norms prevent her from doing so. Then there's a woman you approach who literally wants to bury you into the dirt because she hates all men.
Once you realize that, things will go more smoothly; because at the end of the day no approach garners 100% success. Its all based on multiple factors that are usually out of your control; the only thing you can control is YOU and your ability to read both social and environmental cues to see whether or not the person you approach will be receptive to fuck/talk / etc.
nebder 6y ago
Approach: talk to everyone, cashiers, old ladies, random dudes at the bar. That helped me plus getting rejected some. I still get rejected, it just sucks less now. Gotta do it to get better at it.
PhaedrusHunt 6y ago
What's are basically parameters for when to drop side plates for the main plate, and enter into an LTR?
For the record, I'm 39. Been married and divorced twice. I have a history of getting into relationships a bit fast, but have been doing a lot of test driving the past two years since my last divorce. I've slept with about 25 women and been on dates with a lot more.
So that's a good amount of test drives. I've been spinning lots of plates, but getting pretty bored with it. Want to focus more on my business.
The woman I have in mind: Also 39. Very sexy and sweet. The sex isnas good as any I've ever had. She actually APPRECIATES traditional gender roles. Has a great job, owns her own place, pays for her own shit. I've met quite a few of her friends and no red flags from them-- not a slut crew. She's only mildly shit tested me a couple times, I passed flying colors. Basically I'm SEARCHING for red flags, and I've seen a couple but addressed both and she's agreed. A very self aware woman.
I'm still spinning other plates, almost forcing myself to really. It's fun and I like fucking a variety of women, and she's even said she's OK with it, has a very European attitude about the whole thing.
I'm mostly hesitant not because I think things will cool down or that the shit tests will increase-- I'm holding frame completely at this point. I'm more just wanting to focus on work, and other women seem to take my focus from that. I know I can keep her in a state of competition anxiety even if I shut the other stuff down.
Opinions and insight welcome.
swagile 6y ago
This was stated in another thread on here, but men are the gatekeepers of COMMITMENT. Which means, women have to PROVE themselves to you. She has to do big and small things for you; remember your birthday, send gifts to you without you asking for it, cook for you without needing a reminder, doing chores, etc.
YOU cannot LTR her; SHE has to PROVE she is LTR material. On top of that, one of the reasons why she most likely remains so respectful to you is because you have /options/. She /does not/. You are nearing 40, which is when men start hitting their REAL peak and where their SMV continues to rise.
She is almost 40; that is when women hit their WORST peak; when they hit the true wall. On top of all of that, she is almost hitting the stage where her ovaries are drying up and she is in full "baby mode".
Hence, she HAS to be respectful, understanding of your options, appreciative of traditional gender roles, all because if she didn't, you could drop her at anytime. There is literally nothing she can provide that a young, tight, 18 year old cannot provide except for the fact that she's "traditional" and "understanding".
Be careful, because you sound like you've found your "unicorn" but aren't analysing exactly WHY she is acting this way. I hope this wakes you up before its too late.
TL;DR start acting rational and seeing the WHY behind her actions, not that she's doing them, and act accordingly.
PhaedrusHunt 6y ago
Which one?
So far so good. We'll see.
LMAO Austin IS full of hipster fuckboys. If you're even marginally masculine around here you can clean up.
Dude. On point. She's talked about having kids already
I can fuck chicks that are that young, but they're damn boring.
Point well taken. Don't worry, I'll next a woman with a quickness.
TL;DR start acting rational and seeing the WHY behind her actions, not that she's doing them, and act accordingly.
n0va_lyfe 6y ago
As a college student is there any benefit to being friends with girls? Also I am currently banging a girl that is in my major (95% male major). This semester just started and we have 5 classes together... I've been thinking about friend zoning her because she is a fantastic asset (she works at a popular bar and gives me and my my friends all the free stuff I want).
Don't wanna shit where I eat but also don't know if I am shitting where I eat. It seems like every girl I bang has ties to some activity/group that I hang with.
swagile 6y ago
Social proofing.
Others can teach it well, but it goes something like this:
If you have a girl friend that you friendzone but is hot, you can use her as social proof. It shows you have abundance because you can look at a hot bod and/or pussy and not slay her, which alludes to the fact that your "getting some" on the side that isn't her and your not interested because of that fact.
So once your in a party and women sense that, you will have a higher chance with them as long as you keep that sense of mystery and allude to things instead of stating them, making them think your high value (which you are if you can ignore a hot girl and put her in the friend zone).
It also depends on how much time you want to invest on it; if you aren't using it for the above, then your most likely wasting your time and giving your time and validation to said women, which is a bad deal for you.
TL;DR look at what benefits a girlFRIEND can get you if she isn't going to be your GIRLfriend. If, after the cost benefit analysis, she isn't worth it then don't attempt to be friends.
[deleted] 6y ago
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womans_algorithm 6y ago
Tell her that because you value your relationship with her, it's in your best interest that you put both of you in the front.
mental_models 6y ago
Sounds good.
If she becomes too much hassle, ghost her.
iftair 6y ago
So how do I get flirty with a lady I meet at a party or bar. I'm interested in her and want to make my intentions known that I want to hook up with her. Like whenever I talk to her, the conversation dies (mostly about academics, where we from, etc.) and I just can't figure out how to transition to something more.
Edit - Go easy on me. I'm new here.
_JustASnowFlake_ 6y ago
Sexual communications by David D - great tips and tricks
Self-honest 6y ago
Like this:
Get flirty? (Sly look) You didn't meet any lady at a party (eye roll)
You DEFINITELY don't want to hook up with her, I can tell (arm touch with smirk) You can't even keep me interested (solid eye contact)
Of course your conversation dies whenever you talk to her, you're such a huge dork (smirk, leg touch)
Don't talk about yourself that much, just ask good questions and say funny, non-serious things back. Kino and make eye contact. The conversation isn't vocal it's body language and physical communication. Your eyes, your smirk, your touch. (Hand on the small of her back, solid eye contact) All you need to do is tease her. (Look at lips, back at eyes) She looks at your lips or gives you puppy dog eyes (Go for the kiss)
Save the deep serious conversations for your male friends. Make sense?
[deleted] 6y ago
Dude...the way you typed this one out...coupled with that video totally got me the most epic blowknobber of my life last night. And I never had to reciprocate. She sucked and left. Mich appreciated on that one!
Self-honest 6y ago
Fuck yeah man. That's what I like to hear!
iftair 6y ago
Lol what I asked was hypothetical. I should've made that clear.
I get the saving the deep, serious conversations for my guy friends (or anyone that's close to me). After all why would I want to talk about something serious like the meaning of life with someone that I just want to have sex with?
edit - spelling error
Self-honest 6y ago
Read it again man. I was pretending that I was having this conversation with a girl who I wanted to show my sexual intentions to. I wasn't saying that you did or didn't meet a girl at a party. You don't need to make anything clear. I was using it as an example of teasing you (her). What you (she) said doesn't matter. I'm not communicating with words, I'm communicating with actions.
As far as the "serious" conversations go, where do you want to transition your boring/serious "mostly academics, where we're from, etc" conversation to? Of course you shouldn't talk about the meaning of life. Non-verbal communication includes facial expressions, the tone and pitch of the voice, gestures displayed through body language (kinesics) and the physical distance between the communicators (proxemics). The words are unimportant. Sexual communication is not verbal.
iftair 6y ago
I want to transition from boring/serious to more fun and flirty. Or does that not work at all? I also realized I been shy of touching a girl I'm into.
[deleted]
Self-honest 6y ago
Still there? Get it any better yet? I'll try again a different way if you need me to.
[deleted]
Self-honest 6y ago
I will, but I would appreciate a little more effort on your part. Did you read those posts? Do you get the concept of different forms of communication? Did you reread my comments and get any new insights?
iftair 6y ago
Well I reread your comments and I'm a fucking idiot. Words are unimportant; action is important. I gotta be more physical/touchy.
Self-honest 6y ago
You need to nail it all down though or it will come across as creepy. I'm going to go search some videos to link for you. Physical/touchy without the requisite facial expressions, voice tone, and playfulness is not going to work.
Self-honest 6y ago
21 Convention: Getting sexual like a man
https://youtu.be/nuvL7Dk8x8s
Watch it. It's not the end all be all. I'll post more for you. Busy right now. I think I remember the 12 minute mark being really solid.
binarynightmare 6y ago
My 'sales funnel', if you will, for meeting new prospective lays is pathetically empty. I work in a small software engineering company, so work is a no go. I REALLY REALLY struggle with Tinder/Bumble despite all the conventional advice, and I am not opposed to joining meetups but I have yet to find any that provide reasonable stomping grounds.
How can I fix this?
swagile 6y ago
Do you live in a deadzone? No bars, clubs, social activities, physical activites (karate, tai kwon do, etc.) with women there?
binarynightmare 6y ago
i live in the rustbelt midwest, city with a population of about 200,000. We have some bars, clubs for sure. Yet to find a meetup or club that doesn't have a 5 to 1 male/female ratio... hoping that changes but i have yet to find a stomping ground where attractive/single-ish females flow into.
swagile 6y ago
So lots of competition and very little pay off?
Bummer, means your game has to be top notch, and even then its a game of numbers at that point.
binarynightmare 6y ago
Basically, but I'm hoping i just haven't tried the right places yet
[deleted] 6y ago
[deleted]
LavaPipe 6y ago
Relax. She does sound fucked in the head but that isn’t your problem. You need to do nothing more than just invite her over occasionally and have sex with her. Stop chasing her around clubs or dealing with her dramatic antics. Get your shit together and only see her when it’s at your place or hers. Also meeting some other women might help so you can drop this chick without losing your pussy supply. Don’t text her your little “fuck off” text because it’ll only make you sound butthurt
[deleted] 6y ago
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swagile 6y ago
Your hanging out with the wrong crew then; you only need to know a person's character by looking at their friends. If they grass you, guess what your chick will do as well?
The fact that they can stand this chick's "episodes" without being enticed by a lower half need to breed shows that there is something seriously wrong with her friends.
Id say its not worth the squeeze and to get another girl that is less crazy (cause all women are crazy).
[deleted] 6y ago
Is there a relation between -how many kids you have with your woman, and how much time you the relationship lasts-?
I've never heard of a couple that had 5+ kids and were not together.
Entropy-7 6y ago
There will be some sort of corelation by virtue of the time factor involved in going through 5 pregnancies. Childless couples have a slightly higher divorce rate that those with children, but I don't know if having a lot of kids reduces that further.
mental_models 6y ago
No. After you adjust for the Survivorship bias, you will find that number of kids is not the major model.
[deleted] 6y ago
Statistically, families of 4+ are happier
https://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/everything-kids/happiest-parents-have-four-or-more-kids-study-says/
dr_warlock 6y ago
Just because you haven't divorced doesn't mean it's 'successful'. It's the quality not the longevity that counts.
mental_models 6y ago
great point
a lot of posts seem to think that getting laid is the end-all goal, or in this case that an LTR is the end-all goal...
DaftOdyssey 6y ago
Go to the poor parts of a city, you'll find plenty of single parents with multiple kids.
Entropy-7 6y ago
Go down to provincial court on a "list" day and you will see lots of women making custody or support applications.
[deleted] 6y ago
[deleted]
[deleted]
[deleted] 6y ago
That's maybe true for Black ones.
I'm talking in a general sense.
mental_models 6y ago
go to a trailer park and find the same with White ones.
[deleted]
[deleted] 6y ago
No it’s not a noticeable determinate of marriage success. I apologize for not having primary sources handy. From the studies I’ve read money, apparently is the highest (because duh).
Although if I used my gut I’d say a woman with 5 kids and a good provider likely doesn’t want to be a single mother with all those fuck-trophies and half her previous income.
[deleted] 6y ago
I believe the same.
I've been digging information, and seem like there will be a bigger bond and satifaction when theres around 5 kids, compared to 1 or 2.
The thing to point out is that when you have lots of kids, is that it takes a lot of work and organization, which takes away time from sex and intimacy, but also takes away personal freedom, it seems.
So, with lots of kids. You'll have a better relationship overall. You'll have less time, but more happy. And you will have to keep the sex fun and not lose the sense of personal freedom (or personal time if you will)
dsade 6y ago
Wonder if this was also intuitively grasped by organized religions such as Catholicism and Mormonism as another tool to build membership/tithes.
emetvatuchovt 6y ago
I think it's because Catholicism, when done correctly, is actually pretty redpill. Marry a virgin, never use contraception, lots of sex means lots of babies and an inevitable adoption of traditional husband/wife roles. Trouble is it only works if you're born into it, you follow all the rules, marry young, and your parents did the same to set a good example. In reality there's too many fucked up "catholic" girls who slept around, hit the wall and in their newfound "purity" have internalized a hatred and mistrust of men to get themselves off the hook of the old catholic guilt trip.
dsade 6y ago
If you disregard the Christian aspect of it, the corrupt/ineffectual/"chaste" priesthood that claims some special connection to god (which is nothing but an attempted power grab by methods of dishonesty by those that are naturally unsuited for power), and the suppression and repression of natural power instincts sublimated by the formation of guilt instilled at too early of an age causing massive problems for one's entire life.
The Catholics I know are some of the most hypocritical and psychologically unhealthy people on the planet.
InstigatingDrunk 6y ago
same with islam if done right.
Self-honest 6y ago
I got banned from asktrp last week. I sent a message to the mods to figure out why, but got no response. If I broke a rule, I would like to know so I don't do it again. I didn't make a post, only comments. I don't believe I deviated from the mission of TRP and asktrp. Any thoughts, comments, insights, or answers from mods are appreciated.
Edit: For 45 days
VigilantRedRooster 6y ago
Assistant mod here. I found your inquiry down in the queue and brought it back up for discussion.
For future reference, if anyone doesn't get a response to modmail after a reasonable time (day or two), don't make a post here, but post again in the same modmail thread and it will bring it back up in the queue. Another note, nobody successfully annoys or demands their way out of a ban.
[deleted]
xAkdas 6y ago
What are your guys thoughts on receiving mixed signals?
redpillbanana 6y ago
If you continue to escalate, her signals will become more clear.
Escalation = noise reduction.
womans_algorithm 6y ago
If a girl is into you, she won't be sending mixed signals.
_JustASnowFlake_ 6y ago
Mixed signals may mean she is leading you on. Or you are just not seeing them clearly.
Insendi 6y ago
Should plates be monogamous?
[deleted]
KyinWonderland 6y ago
Honest question: Do you see any parallels between The Red Pill Theory and backlash against the Black Live Matter movement? Please explain.
swagile 6y ago
You need to be a bit more in depth.
What parts of Black Lives Matter? Their ideology, the riots they induce, the single motherhood, etc.?
Be specific.
KyinWonderland 6y ago
By "backlash" against Black Lives Matter, I am referring to people saying things like "All Lives Matter". Basically I'm asking if you agree or disagree with the following statement....
Feminism is to the Red Pill Theory as Black Lives Matter is to All Lives Matter.
and why or why not?
[deleted]
shutupitsunique 6y ago
HS shit head here 2 friends in class make fun of me a lot. What do I do? I can beat the shit out of both of them (thought about doing that a lot), but I'd rather go for a different approach. I don't hang out with them as much anymore, one of them is pretty much everything I don't want to be (lazy, pussy, weak, asshole, only good thing going for him is women), but I have to spend time in class with them.
aDrunkenWhaler 6y ago
Everybody here says not to care. They are right in most part, but they forget this is highschool and you are dealing with kids. Rules are different, you can not simply ignore forever because people will see you as a chump.
They pick on you because they can. Be a good sport and laugh about it, then flip it and make fun of them. It is highschool, breaking each other's balls is part of passing time and establishing social hierarchies. Improve your verbal jiu jitsu. If you ignore them or act all butthurt it will only get worse.
If it leads to a fight, be ready to throw punches. But don't be the one initiating the fight.
chronogumbo 6y ago
Depends on how well you can ignore them. If you have to deal with them, i.e., they're in class and disrupting you, talking to a trusted teacher to make them aware of the situation can help , as teachers are skilled at subtley resolving situations like this.
If they're just doing it in the hallways, lunch, etc, ignore them, or flip and escalate. They call you gay, ask them if theyre interested, with a ridiculous amount of confidence.
aDrunkenWhaler 6y ago
No, that is shit advice. You will fuck up your reputation and will be perceived as a loser and snitch. Remember the kid on the playground who everybody hated because he called for mommy when things didn't go his way? That's who you're telling him to be. Also, the teacher can't make them stop, and doesn't want to be dragged in your pety drama, so it useless to even try.
Imthatguyyo 6y ago
I’m also in HS and have had a similar issue. One “friend” just tries to shit on me to make himself look good. So I just ignore him. He isn’t successful with women or anything and he’s very bp. Most of the group even takes my side 80% of the time it’s sad. If anything either call them a bitch or ignore their bullshit.
Ratroo 6y ago
The lazy one will fall off the map. I wouldn't worry about him. If you'll go lift and put on some muscle they wouldn't say shit to you.
[deleted] 6y ago
I would recommend reading the book “Meditations” by Marcus Aurelius.
airmcnair06 6y ago
Why exactly would you recommend that book for this situation?
LeBroney 6y ago
“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.”
One of many quotes from the book that apply to this situation.
_JustASnowFlake_ 6y ago
Why you letting people bother you like that? They are getting a reaction out of you (and you thinking of fighting them isn't cool). Internalise why it bothers you and become stronger in that area so nothing bothers you.
[deleted] 6y ago
Friendships with women, is that a thing or just a crux? Like I've no romantic interest in them they're just good to talk to sometimes when I'm bored?
swagile 6y ago
Yes.
Women friends are taking your time and energy away from your actual life in exchange for... what? Enjoyment because they listen? Or because they respond?
Unless she is your friend for social proofing / wingwoman purposes, she is wasting your time.
You can have guy friends that are just as interesting, if not MORE interesting, who will talk about complex ideas without regurgitating what another man said to her one time and actually think about said idea's; you just have to find them. On top of that, those male friends (if you have vetted them correctly) will create a social network that you can fall back on both in good and bad; you can't do that with a woman.
Most if not all women are only there during the good days; they don't give a SHIT about you when the bad times are around. Hence the women you are friends with, who most likely have you as a orbiter to increase her own social status, is providing no real substance towards you life and will leave when the going goes tough.
TL;DR cultivate male relationships, because they pay back in dividends; the only female friendships are there for social proofing and for wingwomanship. Anything else devalues you as a male as it takes up your time and energy to maintain with very little to no value towards yourself.
[deleted] 6y ago
I'm 5'5" and not white. But I do lift weights and kickbox competitively. I'm a kissless virgin and get zero matches on tinder. Where do I go from here?
Manducor 6y ago
The no BS pragmatic advice would be to put yourself out there as much as possible in as many venues as you can. Because so many factors are at play including your SMV which is subject to women's own circumstantial preferences aka logistics (menstruation cycle, age, life itself, etc.) getting poon suddenly becomes a game of quantity rather than quality so the best solution is to hit the club, the bar, the mall all forms of social media and simply anywhere women can be found. There's millions of women out there and the opportunity to get laid is there. But not before you shake off that self-defeating attitude.
One of the most fundamental realizations an individual can discover is the immense power that perception has over the outcome of life's undertakings. Acknowledging this and learning the best course of action to take, this is the single most important step in achieving success.
TRP preaches a harsh truth for many a subpar man who upholds the paradigm of western lifestyle, but remember that's all it actually is, if not you'll never achieve amused mastery. Anger is the best course of action for those men, it needs to fuel their actions while simultaneously learning through TRP how to navigate the SMP.
InstigatingDrunk 6y ago
not white. what are you then?
shortcopy 6y ago
Spent 16 -19 in DEEP love with Disney princess. Peak femininity, real ideal woman.
Spent three years cucking myself and ignoring obvious signs to fuck. 'My back hurts can you give me a massage' 'let's get dressed up and go on a date' 'let's make dinner and watch movies wrapped up in bed'
PURE PUSSY NO MOVE EVER MADE
Move away, severely restrict contact - long story short become the fucking MAN. Drop 1/3 of body weight, flat broke to $60/ hr. Business owner.
I still find myself lost in thought dreaming of this woman despite the fact she's fucking dudes and sucking dick in college .
I will see her again she's my best friend. (see how fucked my mentality is concerning this woman, still consider her a best friend)
Have I completely fucked myself from my past behavior? How can I shake this repressive mind frame? I know I can fuck her, but even should I considering my mindset and fixation with her?
Any input is appreciated, especially that which will hurt me most.
[deleted] 6y ago
Edit: Check out a blog called masculineprinciple. Read the entire sidebar.
n0va_lyfe 6y ago
That's some shit dude. I would try to bang some other girls if I were you. It will help your oneitis. Who knows you might find another cool girl that's a slut you just gotta put yourself out there.
shortcopy 6y ago
Appreciate your input. Oneitis will surely be dampened by an influx of sluts.
rpadv9991 6y ago
How do I ask a college girl (I'm a freshman in college) out to dinner/a date without coming off as autistic?
Obviously I'm not gonna ask someone I just met in the dining hall line like they do in those cringy youtube pick-up artist videos. But where should I meet girls and when/how do I open to them?
dr_warlock 6y ago
Asking a woman to dinner is a bullshit msm date idea. Waaay too much investment and too formal for proper flirting and kino. The context is extremely restricting and makes you seem betabux. Bar and finger food or outdoor place for small meal is always better.
rpadv9991 6y ago
True, makes sense. Any tips on how to ask (I'm in college), or do I literally just ask after talking to her for a bit?
dr_warlock 6y ago
Alcohol is still 'rebellious' and cool at your age, to women. Use that to your advantage. Get some alcohol and cups and invite some people over to your dorm. Have some music playing. Ganja, sploof (or vaporizer), w/ fans is even better. Play a drinking game. Have laptop out with youtube so you can play vids to entertain. Lead the whole thing, get everyone involved having fun. If in your dorm you own the whole frame and everyone will sense it, specifically the women. Drugs and alcohol ('party') are your gateway to pussy other than athletics for college. Freshmen girls are dying to do naughty things now that they're away from their parents control.
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You don't even have to drink or smoke much, you providing the atmosphere and supply will be enough. You'll get bitches. Promise.
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What I would have done if I did college over again. What the guys that got laid did.
Soultrane9 6y ago
It's your body language that comes off autistic. The situation in itself is perfectly fine.
You can, the problem is you are not reading HER body language and her situation correctly. Videos are cringy because cold approaching outside the bar/club is cringy.
If she is locking eye contact, smiles back at you, you can ask to hang out. Otherwise realize it's just a person next to you and is being friendly without wanting to be hit on.
Seduction theory suggests cold approaches for younglings mainly for this reason, because in both cases you can get eye contact and smiles but don't know the difference. If you are an autist and can't read the difference, doing 100 cold approaches will teach you because you'll get laid at least once so you have enough input data to determine body language better.
Part of PuA mastery, as much as it is hated it here (it's misinterpreted here completely by the way) is learning to read and use proper body language and you can achieve nearly 90% approach / lay numbers by being able to select approaches properly.
I'd like like to suggest you have the wrong mind set and asking the wrong question. Seduction is being able to pull the girl into your frame. With this situation, you are asking how do you join their frame. That's the wrong way to think about it, how can YOU pull them into yours is the point.
Otherwise just go to any college gathering and talk to people, don't focus on getting laid during initial social situations. In my time around 10 years ago I always went for asking her phone number when I felt it was appropriate and it usually worked. In today's climate, I'd suggest not to ask for any contact at all. If you are living an active social life in your college, chances are you'll meet people often. Go for 2nd/3rd meet contact exchange.
Feel free to ask anything.
n0va_lyfe 6y ago
I would try inviting her to a party/hang out at your dorm or some place on campus (library maybe). Long story short probably don't invite her to dinner if you aren't willing to pay for both of you. A college freshman is fresh meat you have a lot of room to fuck up and still get her but not acting like a bitch is key
rpadv9991 6y ago
Thanks. you sound like you're speaking from experience, any ideas on phrases or topics to lead the convo into in order to invite her to these places. Be specific because I don't want fuck it up. Don't worry about my confidence, I wouldn't mind asking girls this stuff but if it seems forced it just feels autistic
binarynightmare 6y ago
I will answer the first question. Don't ask a new girl out on a date. Ask her to hang out and make sure all of the context leading up to and during make it a date.
rpadv9991 6y ago
Ideally where should I meet this girl and how should I lead the conversation through a fluid transition into hanging out. For the record I don't have significant confidence issues and am fairly attractive (6'0, 140lb, 8% bf, lifting for 5 years consistently), and I do have a pretty decent grasp on how to do these things----just wondering whether there were any specific phrases or strategies you've employed in the past that have worked well.
binarynightmare 6y ago
Step 1, get to a point socially where it doesn't seem completely random to add her on facebook or get her number. All you really have to do is meet her in a group or social setting... which if you are interested and know about her already, you might have already done this step naturally.
Once you have her number and/or facebook (messenger), this is the medium you are going to want to use to ask her to hang out. This has many benefits to asking in person, but basically this will garner a more sincere yes or no and when/where plan than you would walk away with if you pressured her to deciding in person, on the spot.
Onto the where and how.... The key here is to ask her to do something that makes your intentions subtly clear (a one on one date), without it being too intimidating. Dinner at a fancy place, traveling downtown to a museum are examples of socially and logistically intimidating offers that I would stray away from.
Evening drinks, coffee, or ice cream are all good choices, with the caveat that you have a logistics plan that gives her a reason to come back to your place after.
rpadv9991 6y ago
Thanks for the detailed response. All of this makes sense. Do you recommend some small talk or a few texts about whatever club/event you met her at before asking to hang out via messenger/texting? Or should like the first message basically be hey want to get ice cream with me tomorrow night?
binarynightmare 6y ago
I do a bait and hook... where i usually make sure there are two or three text backs before I hit her with the ask. This ensures that you at least get a response. Also it's good to be ready and brush off any rejection with a smooth flow of conversation
[deleted] 6y ago
[deleted]
darchetype 6y ago
For beta men, ya it's normal. Kinda surprised you're seeing that on a construction site, though.
tacko276 6y ago
Co worker came into my office and kept harping on how "crazy"she was in college. Rambled some crap about pictures on a cd that she won't let her husband see. Unnecessary and almost awkwardly worked into the conversation. ioi's or am in being autistic? Or maybe both?
VirginPlaya 6y ago
Your only question should be here: Do I want to fuck her?
If yes: You ask her out (to do some extra work after work or some shit).
If not: You ignore her (but remain polite).
kidbagz 6y ago
she is looking for validation. She is waiting for you to ask about the contents of the CD and if you cant take a peek. She is probably bored at her husband and is looking for some excitement.
Since its pictures before she got married its not "cheating" in her head. Be careful as this can be turned around on you easily if she ever changes her mind about you.
also DON'T SHIT WHERE YOU EAT
tacko276 6y ago
Ya definitely looking for validation. I intentionally didn't ask about the contents of the CD. Solid advice
mental_models 6y ago
This, and don't give her any free value for this shit.
Make her earn her value at work by actually working well.
Self-honest 6y ago
Get that CD so you can blackmail her. Just kidding. Leave it alone.
[deleted] 6y ago
[deleted]
tacko276 6y ago
I think she just wants an orbiter. My play was to not give a shit about what was on the cd.
throw5597 6y ago
I’m 20 years old, I’m in college, I’m working as an intern. I train BJJ everyday, usually twice a day but I don’t have much friends. What are some activities I can do to meet people? Meet girls?
[deleted] 6y ago
I’m extremely extroverted and charming. I can open with anyone. It’s also how I make my money as a consultant. I sell myself all day. So I know TONS of people and more people know of me than I personally know.
Here’s what I can tell you:
Most people are not worth investing in, they make shitty friends because they have weak character. If you want to make strong male friendships (which is super important for your development as a man) my recommendation is to do hard things. Over time you will meet other guys who do the same hard things. The best male friendships you will make are through shared adversity. The challenge is those guys are like you, they have their head down focused on whatever hard thing they’re trying to do. It will be hard to meet these guys unless you see them enough or are forced into a situation you must work together. We men do not socialize like women. We make friends through pain and hard work. It’s how we learn that we can trust another man.
I wish there was an easy answer to this. There isn’t. The people who tell you to socialize more are wrong. The people you will meet by socializing randomly are going to be shitty people, because most people are shitty people. They sure as fuck aren’t pilled.
You don’t need “friends” you need strong friends. Find ways to do hard things with other guys. For me it was the military and professionally working on some insanely hard and stressful projects with other men.
Now as far as meeting women, you just need a strong male friend to wing with you. Just go out and cold open. With men, 1 + 1 = 4. Two men working together well are as good as 4 men on their own.
For contrast, with women 1 + 1 = √-i
I’ll let you guys figure that one out.
keepacleanmachine 6y ago
Bro, just flex really hard with your strong man bro because, c'mon bro, everyone is shitty except your strong man bro, bro.
reecewagner 6y ago
I'd love to hear an entire thread on this shit right here, no sarcasm. This is precisely where I want to be.
[deleted] 6y ago
What would you like to know? How to be charming and extroverted, or how to be a consultant, or how to sell yourself?
Chaddeus_Rex 6y ago
I'd like to know more about being charming and how to sell onself (that last one is more important i think).
[deleted]
[deleted]
WaT30 6y ago
You have three places where you are most of the time. So that's 3 social circles. Dude, if you can't find any friends, it's your problem really. I presume at college you are sitting near someone, and most classes you take with same people. Same with BJJ, you have a sparing partner. At work, there must be someone near your age, or also another intern.
Socialize more and that's it really.
throw5597 6y ago
I’m taking all online classes.. the only interaction I have with people my age is the occasional party. My bjj circle is all older dudes, married have a full life etc. My work place is also surrounded by much older professional people. I’m the only intern. I think i should start more hobbies any suggestions?
juliusstreicher 6y ago
Go to the college's computer lab. At a Community College I was at recently, I went to the computer lab and it was actually full of hot babes.
[deleted] 6y ago
What do you like to do?
Any passions?
Go do those. Join groups of people who go do those things.
Friendship usually includes a shared bond.
I wrote this list of my hobbies for another post. Pick one that appeals to you and go do it. If nothing else, it'll get you off your couch and into the world.
That's the first step.
Car collecting, Hiking, Road Biking, Guitar/drums, Drone flying, Motorcycle collecting, Motocross/enduro, Scuba, Rec. Pilot, Metal fab/welding, Beermaking, Shooting/ gunsmithing, Archery, Snowboarding, Snowshoeing, Hunting, Fishing, Track Days, Glamping, Navigational Rally racing, Surfing, 3 gun, SUP, Rock Climbing, Music Festivals, Tattooing, Road Trips, Wearing womens' clothes, Primitive wilderness camping, Drag racing, Jetski, Home bartending/whiskey club, Backcountry snowmobiling, Mountainclimbing, Mountainbiking, Downhill mountainbiking, Home mechanic, Woodworking, Millwright/machining, Painting, BDSM, Dog training, Riding Quads (fourwheelers, not paralyzed people), Sub training, Riding horses, Riding women, Ride on lawnmower, Being a dick on the internet.
throw5597 6y ago
Well I spend 50% of my time in the gym training or trying to learn as much as possible. I don’t really have a passion for anything else tbh.. I also don’t have any real friends that I could go out with, not that I could I’m still only 20.
[deleted] 6y ago
You see the hypocrisy, right? You find something is missing in your life yet you use the excuse of the time constraints of doing the two things you choose to do as an excuse not to change.
Cool thing about your life is you get to allocate your time. If you're not happy, either adjust your mindset or make a change.
Insanity Is Doing the Same Thing Over and Over Again and Expecting Different Results
Why are you spending your life in the gym?
You're 20, you don't have any passions because you haven't tried anything new yet. Catch 22. Go try new things. You find a passion - it doesn't find you.
throw5597 6y ago
I was answering your question of what my passions and hobbies were which is training BJJ and spending my time in the gym..
[deleted] 6y ago
Read my prior advice again. Think about it.
Don't miss the forest by concentrating on the trees.
[deleted]
andrew21w 6y ago
I am 16 years old.
How to apply the Red Pill rules on my everyday life?
(I've read the sidebar)
RonTomJohnson 6y ago
Don't worry about the specifics. Start making good habits while your young. Hit the gym hard at least a few times a week, dress nice, focus on getting good grades and getting into a good career, etc. If you have those things, the rest will fall into place as time goes on.
Right now, and I would say until you finish college and become stable financially, do not, I repeat, do not get into a serious relationship. Fuck them, date them, but under no circumstances live with one or marry one. Don't worry about what women think right now, or ever for that matter. Do why makes you happy, stay in shape, focus on being fine a call secure or well off, and you'll be fine.
Having served in the army for six years, and having five to college. I saw so many guys make terrible decisions. Like, get married as soon as they are out of basic training, get deployed, she cheats, he finds out, they divorce, she gets half of his stuff. Same in school. Tons of women there with no interest in education. They go for humanities BS, and search for the engineer or pre med, pre law, etc. Then, get married, have him pay all the debt off with his new MD or engineer job for the degree she didn't finish. Once it is paid and she has shit out a couple kids you don't even know are yours for sure. Out of nowhere, she divorces you, says you were abusive, you never see your kids again, and pay her for the next 20 or so years so she can fuck Chad and live off your support.
Stay single, focus on you. Bitches be trippin.
ImHerWonderland 6y ago
Are you lifting weights? I wish I started at 16, I'd be in great shape now. But oh well.
[deleted] 6y ago
Work on yourself. Lift weights. Meditate.
Be happy being with yourself.
AlexDr0ps 6y ago
You will only learn from experience and can use the readings to connect what happens with why it happened.
You'll go out, make mistakes, and get sexually frustrated. At this point, when you need something to change, you will either buy into the feminist narrative that you should feel bad for pursuing masculinity or you will remember TRP. If you keep trusting the teachings here, you'll be golden. It's all true, it takes a while to believe that though.
Ratroo 6y ago
Go lift, and key in your diet. Read the recommended books as well as the sidebar (mandatory). Try and get some experience making out, having sex, etc. Push yourself academically. You need to understand your education doesn't end after school, you should be continually learning. Education is a life long process. Make friends with everyone from your school as well as other local schools. Stay off social media.
If you do those ^. You'll be so far ahead of everyone else your age. Other than that, just do you and don't have any regrets.
GoGetting 6y ago
Be brutally honest with yourself.
[deleted] 6y ago
And then be brutally honest with everyone else.
WISE_TURD 6y ago
Read the sidebar multiple times and remember that a lot of these truths are not as blatant as the field reports etc. on trp are. Subtle actions contain a lot of information.
Just go observe the body language of couples and see how brainwashed most men are. Their body language will tell you that they're basically a woman's pet.
That being said - you've got a great opportunity being your age. Keep your grades up, keep active (lift or play a sport), and be friends with everyone. Make sure your future is your main priority, there's always another "end all be all party" around the corner.
hereinsteadofgym 6y ago
If there's some girl at your school who you like, don't befriend her. Either tell her or have no connection at all.
[deleted]
juliusstreicher 6y ago
Further, most TRPers would say 'be friends with everybody'. Just remember that they aren't 'real friends', because you won't ever find anybody like that. But, they can be extremely fun acquaintances. If you make your move on a chick, tho, and she tries to friend you, tell her no way.
redpilledjoe 6y ago
How do I tell a girl that's pushing for commitment I just wanna be friends and still fuck? Without her leaving
Self-honest 6y ago
Search function: the talk
There are a ton of great posts
swagile 6y ago
Some girls ask you to commit because your giving off the "vibe". They want to know whether or not you are down to fuck or if you are going to provide.
Its a shit test most of the time as something they picked off of your body language or social cues told them you are a provider, and they want to make sure thats not / is the case.
If you say no, and she wanted a provider, you lost her.
If you say no, and she didn't want a provider, she probably just wants to fuck and this was just insurance that you won't get touchy feely at the end and "propose" or something equally cringeworthy.
redpilledjoe 6y ago
Yeah I definitely give off the vibe. I need to fix it
phoneLinks 6y ago
Sometimes you're gonna lose them if you won't commit, especially if a guy with similar smv will commit
n0va_lyfe 6y ago
How hard is she pushing for commitment
redpilledjoe 6y ago
Not any specific girl, it just seems to happen a lot to me that girls often don't want to fuck me unless we're monagamous.
Chaddeus_Rex 6y ago
Confused abput two things. Have a friend shorter and skinnier than me (he doesnt lift) and yet seems more successful with girls than i. He texts excessively, calling it 'talking to girls' (rather than using text for logistics), hes always asking how theyre doing and other seemingly cringey stuff. Moroever, when we go to bars we will be talking to the same groups of girls and yet girls will message him over insta and no me. I am much larger physically than he is. He seems to be breaking many TRP rules. He got laid twice in the last month. We are both in college. Interested in how TRP views this.
Second question. Theres this girl i see on instagram who constantly posts pictures with her bf (he seems to be a pretty cool dude). She looks like one of those girls who dresses in a posh manner, with lots of makeup, is a fitness bunny, with many friends and the guy is ripped. Shes 21 and already pregnant and proud of it. I thought that girls (especially like that) dont value their relationships and will cheat on their guy. So whats going on here?
magnificent18 6y ago
Is he better looking than you face wise?
Chaddeus_Rex 6y ago
I wouldn't say so, but obviously I am biased.
MattyAnon Admin 6y ago
What's his face like?
Is he friendzone or actually hot to them?
Girls message guys close to them. They don't message the hot stranger, they message the guy the know and talk to fairly regularly. (Guys are like this too, but you probably notice this less). Girls are LOW RISK in their social interactions.
I bet this guy is getting laid by virtue of just knowing girls and being there.
How do you know she's not cheating? How do you know she won't in the next few years?
Chaddeus_Rex 6y ago
Decent face. He is Turkish and has a nice head of curly hair.
Well if he bangs/goes on dates with them I can assume he is hot to them?
I don't, but she makes all these insta posts about him and her entire insta is filled with pics of her bf?
juliusstreicher 6y ago
What are YOU like? All your post says is that you are 'bigger' than him.
Chaddeus_Rex 6y ago
What do you mean?
I am 6'2, 185lbs (measured myself, lost some weight was at 190lbs before), losing hair and wear glasses. I am in college, and will be finishing up this semester.
I really don't know what else to say?
VirginPlaya 6y ago
She might be raised that way and genuinely values family and being a mom etc.
Or it could be a stage. She 's obviously getting tons of validation from people (being fit, having fit bf and being pregnant). She basically has a jackpot of being a chick: looks good, has commitment from a sexy dude and all the validation she can take.
TheReformist94 6y ago
What you are viewing is someone with better face (correct me if you are better looking),read looks, not running game and sweeping up. Lifting is damage control if your face is subpar
Chaddeus_Rex 6y ago
I dunno if Im better looking, but he does decent on tinder and tantan (talks to girls mostly off those apps). I dont get any matches in either. If this is used as a measuing tool then his face is better.
Also, shouldnt Game make up for poor facial genetics?
mental_models 6y ago
Unless you are grotesque, you don't have 'poor facial genetics'.
Game is always helpful in general. For game to be fully utilized, you really need to combine it with a value (either you are hot, or you have high status). When combined with a value, you offset limiting factors and do previously unattainable stuff. Game by itself is just a nice quality.
CasaDeFranco 6y ago
Tantan is Chinese tinder. If you're white you don't need game to get laid on tantan.
I'm not into Asian girls but having traveled Shanghai and Beijing, it's the closest thing to being a celebrity I have experienced. If one visits a museum in Beijing, all the provincial tourists will want photos with you if you're tall, handsome and well dressed; my colleague and I got 27 requests for photos in just two hours (mind you a third of these were from a highschool tour).
To answer your question, it's clear your friend is more handsome or he is smashing Asians where he has an increased SMV.
Chaddeus_Rex 6y ago
Yeah, but my friend uses Tantan in a large North American city, because he just wants to get laid and doesn't give a fuck who it is as long as she's skinny. I've tried tantan as well, barely got matches that never responded.
CasaDeFranco 6y ago
If you want, PM me your profile for feedback. You should be killing it on TT.
buncha_circles 6y ago
Doesn't matter how much you think your SMV is if you don't put yourself out there. I wouldn't spend all my time texting or messaging over the internet, but if he's talking to multiple women on the daily then he's bound to find one that'll take his dick.
What woman doesn't want the local alpha? Especially having a baby with him.
Chaddeus_Rex 6y ago
Like I said, girls will text him over me even though we are talking to the same girls. I do approaches every day (1 to 2 a day).
buncha_circles 6y ago
Are you getting laid more than him? Women not bothering you all the time isn't a negative if you actually have women in your life.
Chaddeus_Rex 6y ago
No. So he must be doing something right. We are in college, maybe the rules of college differ from the real world?
satellitecolorskin 6y ago
It sounds like he's very extraverted and has good social skills. Is it possible that when the two you go to the bar he's much more comfortable in the situation, and you're analyzing the situation in your head and feeling insecure? His comfort zone isn't what's usually recommended here, but an outgoing and confident guy will still do well in a club.
Chaddeus_Rex 6y ago
I dunno if he's more extraverted. I don't feel like he is, I make daytime approaches easily (sober) and he just relies on tinder/tantan.
Perhaps he does have better social skills, but I have absolutely no filter and will say anything if i think its funny.
fade2clear 6y ago
I have worked as a IT support guy for about 6-7 years now. The pay is decent but I feel like I'm at a dead end. I'm honestly burnt out on doing tech support, and sysadmin type duties. It's just fucking boring and unfulfilling to me.
I'd like to get certified or focus on my skills on something more specific with technology, like something with audio/video applications. Basically not IT shit.
I'm also thinking about getting a degree or education in something entirely different that pays well and doesn't feel so blue pill like a support role. Something more independent.
Any suggestions?
[deleted]
fade2clear 6y ago
Dude are you me? I seriously juggled the thought of becoming a park ranger here recently haha.
But I can definitely vouch for everything you said. My current gig is a small shop with just the boss and myself(I'm helpdesk, and also do sysadmin projects, a little bit of everything). I actually have the keys to every server, switch, and admin accounts, believe it or not. Admittedly I don't know what I'm doing with a lot of it, but at the same time, I DON'T CARE to know either. It makes me feel lazy, but I'm just not passionate about it.
Working in IT has it perks, but the part you mentioned about not being valued really hits home. I can sense that whole heartedly. On your last point, I was basically looking for someone to tell me exactly that.
It's time for a change. I appreciate your post man. You summed my situation up precisely. I've been debating on getting more certifications or moving on entirely.
I honestly hate touching computers in my spare time.
keepacleanmachine 6y ago
No. Just work the help desk really half assed while you build your own business or gain skills in other fields. Work your dream on their dime.
adonis_forte 6y ago
Become a software engineer? I was originally an information systems majors because it is easier than comp sci. I then found out about the bullshit that comes with IT and the lack of respect. Maybe you should go out of your comfort zone?
[deleted]
_JustASnowFlake_ 6y ago
Sounds like you need some hobbies. Try Latin dancing.
AwkwardEmpath 6y ago
Can you be an alpha with an average sized dick? How important is that? Curious if you can be great in bed with an average dick as well.
ananyo007 6y ago
If you get to the point where she has seen your dick, she will probably suck it.
Also, get the fuck out of here with the dick size insecurity.
[deleted]
swagile 6y ago
Literally like 80% of the world has an average dick size, and they still get laid.
Stop making excuses for yourself.
AwkwardEmpath 6y ago
Stop making assumptions on the internet. I didn't mention it being an excuse? I asked questions on a question thread. Simply seeking information on what I said.
Blakrov 6y ago
I'm at home most of the time in a small town, nearest city is 20 mins drive away, and most tinder matches are there. Thats really the only option i have, don't have any hobbies besides local gym. If I have no business in the city other than to meet a chick, how does that work for logistics? Expensive to drive in to go to a bar and have a taxi home idk
[deleted] 6y ago
Oh man that sucks. Sounds like you’re in a pussy desert. You might give some thought to moving to a city where the ratio of female to male is advantageous. I know it’s a big change but doing what it takes to have the freedom to move into a city and afford it will pay off for you in multiple ways.
Blakrov 6y ago
Being an incel with no hobbies at 20 doesn't help either.
[deleted] 6y ago
Then stop being an incel
Hit the gym
Read Extreme Ownership
https://www.amazon.com/Extreme-Ownership-U-S-Navy-SEALs-ebook/dp/B00VE4Y0Z2
ZigzagLumen 6y ago
A friend of mine is always paying for his plates when he goes on dates (cinema, bowling, restaurants). Some he'll keep around longer than others He definitely gets more sex than me, but I thought this was a beta movement paying for everything? I used to do this all the time, but since TRP, it isn't something I'd feel inclined to do from now on...
Manducor 6y ago
For some details it's best not to let yourself get too myopic about the potential influence they might have. Paying for a woman is inherently a provider characteristic, however you need to consider the other factors at play here. Such as frame and what kind of game the guy is working with.
It might not be the case of your friend, but consider the difference between a man who pays from a place of abundance to a guy who pays while only working minimum wage but wants to impress a woman with a bastardized misrepresentation of chivalry. Viewing money as a means for agency rather than a necessity manifests a sense of confidence which can help a mans game. Some guys learn to fake it even when they're broke.
However regardless of the outcome it's always a loss so it should only be done at a mans own discretion.
[deleted] 6y ago
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binarynightmare 6y ago
There is a difference between following social norms and being generous, and flashing money around out of insecurity. The first is fine, the second can be spotted from a mile away and is just sad.
ZigzagLumen 6y ago
Thank you for your comment. And the second is exactly what I used to do. Looking back, I can see precisely how I was trying to compensate for my insecurity
binarynightmare 6y ago
There's a guy in my social circle who is nice enough, but is always trying to impress the girls in it with money.... paying for group bar tabs, over the top gifts, etc. At one point he's even tried to hand one of the girls cash. What has been repeated attempts to look like a baller really just painted him as a Forrest Gump sucker that doesn't have anything else to offer.
nebder 6y ago
If I invite the woman somewhere to an active date like bowling, then I pay. It’s low cost and I prefer to pay because that’s what I want to do. I could care less if that little bit of spending is viewed as a provider quality. We all have a mix and the rest of the night with teasing, banter and kino makes it pretty clear I’m not just some nice guy schlub trying to buy my way into her pants.
If I invite a woman out to drinks, I say first rounds on me and order the drinks. I’ve only had a few gals balk at picking up the second. That’s low cost info, if she’s not into me enough to buy a drink then I know what’s up. Makes my decisions easy.
Now it’s beta/provider to offer to buy a drink for a woman as your opener or say shit like I’ll pay for your vacation if you come with me. That’s beta game trying to purchase attraction. They’d be better of renting a hooker.
You find trp and overcompensate at the beginning ALPHA ALPHA ALPHA!!! then you settle into the right equilibrium for your personality, desires and goals. Don’t worry quite so much about “is X ALPHA/BETA?” and be congruent with yourself provided you’re a strong valuable man.
ZigzagLumen 6y ago
I like the way you put it. I've never been able to open in a bar until recently, but previous potential LTRs (again BP thinking, oneitis from early) I would pay for going away thinking its what I should be doing etc. Even all drinks when we was to go out of an evening
I think this is what I have been doing a lot
So going to keep working on building myself to be the man I want to be (just wish I could approach hahah)
nebder 6y ago
Approach: talk to everyone, cashiers, old ladies, random dudes at the bar. That helped me plus getting rejected some. I still get rejected, it just sucks less now. Gotta do it to get better at it.
ZigzagLumen 6y ago
Been working on that for sure. It's that fear of rejection though. Which I know you only overcome by getting rejected more and more.
Everything I've read/watched has said this.
And I'm usually such a logical person. I look at what needs to be done to get a result, and do it. But this is a lot harder.
All in good time I'm sure. The road to improving is never ending.
YouDontKnowMeHeHe 6y ago
So here is the deal.This year I decided to turn my life around.I made plan which contain everything from reading sidebar,calisthenics,meditation,reading,professional development and so on.I made daily plan and my whole day is scheduled.It's just fucking work.I am 18 years old and currently in high school.I am contantly seeing bunch of idiots whos most important task is to decide where to go on weekend to get fucking wasted.To make it even worse they just seem to have great lives(in all areas, whether that be getting girls or having fun etc.).So my question: is it fucking worth it?Doing all this work, having literally my whole day scheduled doing work and no fun.Does it pay off in the end?
womans_algorithm 6y ago
You can't turn your life around like that, it's literally impossible. You should instead change 1 thing at a time, until it becomes second nature.
Don't compare yourself to others, compare yourself to your past self. Are you making yourself better every day? This is the only thing that matters. You will only get discouraged if you compare yourself to people who seem to have it all.
nebder 6y ago
On one hand, it’s the parable of the ant and the grasshopper. Yes, they’re having short term fun. In 5-8 years when they’re doing menial shit work and your personal development is paying off is when you would get to gloat except at that point you won’t give a fuck about gloating.
On the other hand, you’re likely to crash and burn yourself out. Your ambition is good yet it needs tempered. You got too much on your plate at once. Follow the rule of 2 where you focus on no more than two activities until they become part of your discipline. Then add in another activity/goal. It’s a cumulative effort.
Take some time for downtime and enjoy the end of high school. It’s the only time in your life where you’re almost an adult with next to zero true responsibilities. It’s a little more adulty in college but still very little responsibility. You won’t get this time of your life back.
YouDontKnowMeHeHe 6y ago
Ok thank you for help.Since I have about 16 habits on my list and 6 of those are already kinda part of my discipline.So how does sound this plan: since they are somehow part of my discipline I plan on doing them for next 30 day until they are 100% part of my discipline and after that start to add 2 activites max from rest of the list?
nebder 6y ago
Budget in some downtime and you should be good. Don’t forget to socialize, doesn’t need to be picking up chicks could be hanging with your boys. Watch yourself for feeling overwhelmed or burnt out. If you get that feeling dial things back a little. It’s a marathon not a sprint and it’s better to do a few things well instead of 10 things halfass.
My downtime is reward for achieving a target. I need to work on X then I get Y.
RedBenedict 6y ago
i maintained my weight (86kg) and gained some muscle.
Why isnt the scale going down
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evilgator 6y ago
Because muscle weighs more than fat
nebder 6y ago
Here I go being the welllll akshuallllly douche
Muscle is denser than fat. 1lb is 1lb. 1lb of fat takes up more volume than 1lb of muscle.
https://goo.gl/images/YYiFP4
evilgator 6y ago
It’s stating the obvious though, easier to dumb it down to avoid sounding like you
lordmainstream 6y ago
I get that i shouldn’t compliement women all the time and not look for validation from them, but at wich point when approaching a woman should i say that she is beautiful or hot, and when i do that, what is the best way to do it so i dont look like a average bluepill?
LavaPipe 6y ago
Actions speak louder than words. Try making a subtle move instead of saying “omg ur so cayute”
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nebder 6y ago
This ones more lighthearted. What are some fun innuendo-filled karaoke songs worth mastering? The two that jump out to me are below.
Googoots 6y ago
What’s your goal in choosing a song?
My opinion with karaoke (and I don’t do it very often) is that the best songs are those that most people are very familiar with. Maybe it’s me or my age, but I don’t think I would recognize either of those.
The last time I did karaoke, I did She Shook Me All Night Long by AC/DC. The place went wild because everyone knows that song and it has great tempo.
[deleted] 6y ago
Unless if everyone already thinks of you as the funny guy I wouldn’t go there.
nebder 6y ago
I disagree, going out is meant to be fun. I’ll agree that’s the safe route. Fortune favors the bold.
I’m not socially inept plus it’s easy (for me) to establish a lighthearted fun-loving persona without being the jester. Those are the guys other people want to have fun with. I’ve been that solo serious guy sitting at the bar, it’s boring as shit. Nobody hangs with debbie downer given a choice.
[deleted] 6y ago
You sound like the funny guy to me. Have fun.
[deleted] 6y ago
Crank it up to 11, then...
Pussycat Song
No Pussy Blues
And if your balls are particularly big...
Liz Phair - HWC
Do I look like a slut?
Dirty Mary
I've fucked a lot of peelers.
Karoke is EZ mode.
nebder 6y ago
Good shit tri
Here’s a spotify album with pussycat song and other good shit.
https://open.spotify.com/album/0m6hIdlZUMZ8zRw1zzHfVy?si=H_iAt-YtQkK8XhSy1OWAyw
[deleted] 6y ago
Speaking of the pussycat song. This is hilarious. https://youtu.be/QnkrL42R7gk
packetdata 6y ago
orbiter.
How does one maintain frame when there are rumours about you failing ?
VirginPlaya 6y ago
"Nice guy" will sacrifice his well being, needs, wants etc to try to manipulate women (people) to get sex or intimacy.
"Nice guy" says: " Oh, I'm such a great person. I did this thing, that I didn't want to, so now you have to repay me with pussy! Bitch!"
A genuinely good person might do things that are labaled as "beta" here, but the difference is that he'll do it because he wants to, there's no alterior motive to weasel some pussy time out of it.
So yeah, don't be "nice" (do nice things) to a chick if it doesn't jive with you. Yet, on the other hand don't try to be a "jerk" either if it's not who you are.
Basically, put yourself first and do what you want.
mental_models 6y ago
premise =
I'd reexamine this. Women talk to men whom they perceive as valuable all the time. Friendship can actually become a barrier to sex and general respect.
That's kind of the crux of maintaining frame. Studying general theory about frame and maintaining frame should do the trick.
2.
You stepped on the gas here a little abruptly. :) Look at the theory of 'AWALT'. In general, ALL women actively participating in the SM want to be pumped by a high value male, whether they are outwardly conservative/naive or outwardly an attention whore.
The 18+ woman who is actually legitimately naive/sheltered/scared of sex is a rare exception (think: she's got issues/ imposing social 'cult'ure/etc../run)
GoGetting 6y ago
The balance is "be friendly by default, but that changes the moment someone behaves like a cunt".
Entropy-7 6y ago
Let your priorities guide your choices. None of us are out to actively fuck over other men or women.
In33dmon3yz 6y ago
None of US maybe there are plenty of snakes out there
yes_we_can_t 6y ago
Failing what? No specifics, so here's some generic crap advice: If you're learning when you're failing you're doing it right. If you never try you never fail...
Not really related to your questions, but it's usually better not to close the door completely, just like a woman dangling the possibility of a physical relationship for her orbiters, you can keep the door open for more contact with you, even if you never act on it again. Her hopeful messages can be good protection in these metoo times.
Chaddeus_Rex 6y ago
Does escalate include things like telling girls to look sexy for when you meet?
What about innuendos or even blatant sexual phrases? For examples yesterday I was cleaning beakers and waiting for the air dryer and there was a girl in front of me and I tell her "Blow Me!". She looks back confused and semi-shock and sees me holding out my beakers and laughs. A more blatant example would be I know this chick with huggge tits, she ignored my text when i asled her out a while ago and she was asking me for my notes. I told her, "Ill trade you my notes for nudes".
yes_we_can_t 6y ago
First example is dominating, not escalating, unless she thought she was meeting you as Just a Friend™.
Second is clowning around, if she thought it was funny perhaps I'd ask her out but sounds like it's a class/work situation and I don't shit where I eat.
Third is metoo material which will put off pretty much all girls. Also shitting where you eat.
I was talking about physically escalating. You have to be very comfortable with touching people.
Btw. pulling off escalating very quickly is hard unless you're very attractive or the chick loves fucking around. That is how you find them though, which was the question.
MrCarepig 6y ago
Iv'e noticed sometimes that low smv women try to open or game me at times. Since women dont know how to game from a man's perspective I find it to be pretty cingey now that i know the game. It gave me a new point of view, know i know how a high smv woman feels when a low value man or a man without game approaches or tries to open. For example being too direct with your intention without the attraction just looks and feels of thirst. Just some observations i had.