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chocolatebones 5y ago
Over the past few weeks of seriously swallowing TRP, I've become conflicted about texting and would really like some feedback. Point is, I don't really know how to handle texting women probably because I'm concerned about being 'needy'. I've been very non-needy lately and I've noticed women taking interest because of it.
I never text/don't know what to text about and I know this is wrong:
- Should texting ever be used as a means of building rapport?
- Should you text her solely to ask her out on a date/meetup?
- What is real TRP type of texting in your opinion?
- How do guys get her to text them first using the not texting her method? Is it because they've fucked already before?
- Basic outline in my mind is 1-2 rapport building texts followed by asking her to meet up with you at X time at Y place. Is this correct? If the date is a week away, should you not text her 3-4 days later with some rapport building shit or nah?
sjtomcat23 5y ago
Question. DMd this girl back on saturday and things went well. We are going to hangout tonight and go bowling. Do I pay for her bowling session or no. Obviously in my mind I want to say no, but I do actually want to pursue a relationship with her. What's the best suggestion?
red_philosopher 5y ago
Did you suggest it or did she? If you did, I suggest you pay for it. If she did, I suggest she pay for it. Let her invest in you when you can.
PR0JECT_XIII 5y ago
Unless you are going to starve, pay for the fucking bowling.
kcozart 5y ago
Ill try keep it short as possible, stumbled across this subreddit yesterday and felt like ive learnt a hell of a lot about my blue pill attributes.
anyway, been talking to this girl for a whole year, talk and call pretty much everyday, see her like once a month (maybe less) because she is 'always busy', i always give her validation, bought her gifts in the past, best part is we arent in LTR. I've brought up the idea of it to her and she says she isnt ready.
We've not even been close to sex and I think the sexual tension has disappeared, again, she says she isnt ready and into that right now.
Both 17 if that helps. Any way I can minimise the blue pill effects and build sexual tension with this girl or is it basically finished?
pascuccired 5y ago
She must've fucked a lot of Chads while you give her validation. Either drop her or fuck her soon.
Lambdal7 5y ago
If you still want this girl, you need to tease her a lot more, call her sexy, how she shouldnt behave like that or you'"ll do bad things to her. (with a wink)
Don't go 100% instantly, but ease into it. You have boatloads of comfort and callback humour with her, so you can go into sexualizing strongly.
Socialist_Russia 5y ago
A whole year? You're wasting your time. Also, why the hell would you give a girl you aren't even in a relationship with gifts? That just screams beta and desperate. Take it from a fellow teenager, and just move on and find other girls.
C-ingRed 5y ago
She doesn't see you as a sexual interest and for a good reason. "Not interested right now" actually means "I would fuck everyone else before you."
This might sound harsh but I think you wasted an entire year of time and resources. You could have spent that time improving your mind, body, and resources.
Take a step back and read the sidebar, read the books. Think about how you can apply the principles.
You have oneitis for this girl and I'm sorry to tell you but she's not perfect and unique and it isn't going to happen with this one.
JewishCrow 5y ago
I want to start to lift but I dont't know the most efficent way to start. Which workout programs do you suggest for beginners? (stronglift, 5/3/1, smolov etc.)
MarcosDomingues 5y ago
I can't see how stoicism applies irl.
If you're in a group of people, they will just think you're introverted or not having fun.
If you're on a date with a girl she's going to think of you as a boring person.
PerplexingPegasus_ 5y ago
It’s so that you aren’t as reactive or volatile to outside interactions that you have no control over. You’re probably thinking of it as trying to play it safe and cool all the time which isn’t the case.
gainzsince2001 5y ago
I need some advice. So I’m 16, (not sure if that matters might make a little difference) and there’s one girl I just recently started talking to just friendly convo so far but I’m really interested in her. However, I’ve been getting with one of her friends (not a close friend of hers I don’t think) after she broke up with her boyfriend recently (we’ve met up twice haven’t had sex yet but it could go there the next time we hang out). The friend I got with (twice) is probably a 7/10 while the girl I have my eyes on is easily an 8-9/10. My question is do I continue to just casually hook up with this one girl while trying to get to the same level with this other one that I’ve had my eyes on? I would rather not continue our casual relationship if it were to kill my game with this girl I’ve had my eyes on, I don’t know how it would effect this girl I’ve liked perspective of me knowing that I hooked up with a friend of hers (I’ve been keeping it lowkey but the girl put me on her snapchat story twice the second time I made her take it down), what do you guys think I should do?
Entropy-7 5y ago
Build social proof and do the 7 like you mean it.
It won't kill you gamewith the 8-9/10 but make for more intersting table conversation.
gainzsince2001 5y ago
Thanks that’s what I’ve been thinking
C-ingRed 5y ago
You need to ask yourself what your goals are with each of these girls- what I would tell you to do with the 7 depends on what you intend to do with the 8.
If you are just wanting to smash both of them and leave it at that I would consider continuing to pursue both of them. You could even use their competition to your advantage. Leave the Snapchats up and let the 8 see them, how she reacts will tell you where you stand. If she likes you she will either double down on her efforts or confront you.
If she confronts you about them then don't get defensive, maintain your frame. You are valuable and she needs to earn your time.
If you are trying to long term plate or LTR the 8 I would suggest staying off the 7's Snapchat and stay under the radar.
Also, being in high school I would remind you to keep your mouth shut if you do hook up with them, don't lead them on emotionally, and whatever you do, do not get them pregnant.
gainzsince2001 5y ago
Thanks man that’s the kind of answer I needed ????I appreciate it
C-ingRed 5y ago
You are on the right track man. Most men don't find TRP until they have been completely destroyed by their LTR or wife.
Make yourself a prize, THEN decide who to give yourself to.
ShottyZGuy 5y ago
How do you guys feel about the Terry Crews situation? I feel that there are some TRP truths in there regarding how men have it much harder etc.
CeremonyTree 5y ago
That guy is a pussy. He's referencing his wife saying that she told him to 'not risk anything by being aggressive'.
ShottyZGuy 5y ago
Her reasoning was right. She said do not be agressive because all the blame would be place d on him, which is very true. She and him obviously know he could have wooped the guys ass, but that would have been dumb.
ChadsLeftNut 5y ago
FWB became distant, and when I ignored her becoming distant she asked me if I've noticed it, and told me it was because she feels like I dont care about her and she cant emotionally invest in someone who doesn't care about her because she doesnt want to get hurt. What should I do now and what did I do wrong?
killabeesindafront 5y ago
Watch what they do not what they say
mallardcove Endorsed Contributor 5y ago
You have to ask yourself what your endgame is. The fact you seem to care makes me believe your endgame was to LTR her. Otherwise why does it matter? Plates/FWB drop off. It happens and should be expected. If you don't want that to happen, you need to LTR her or make an emotional connection with her every now and then.
While women are into men they are attracted to, especially Chads, at the same time they are cautious. They don't want to get hurt and will withdraw if they feel like the man they are into doesn't care about them. You can't go 100% player and expect her to stick around. If you want her to stick around, you have to throw her a bone every now and then to make her trust you.
ChadsLeftNut 5y ago
My endgame was to keep fucking her, she gave the best blowjobs I've ever got. I feel like I've been focused too much on not being needy, I never really understood that you needed to give some comfort once in a while. Maybe I'm just not high SMV enough to be 100% AF and have her stick around? Idk, is there anything I can do to salvage it? Like start giving her some comfort?
U-94 5y ago
No comfort! You did the right thing. Cut this one loose and find a new one.
mallardcove Endorsed Contributor 5y ago
I think many of us have made this mistake, I know I have. You become so focused on being needy and univested, you forget that ultimately for women, its their emotions that drive the car for them. You have to throw a bone at their emotions at some point. Generally this is done by fucking them good and being emotional with them in some manner(i.e. cuddling) after sex, but there are other ways to do it as well without coming across as needy.
Perhaps with high enough SMV you can be 100% player and get away with it, but I certainly am not at that SMV level. I'm probably Top 10% of men, which is good, but I'm guessing you have to be Top 2%, and even then you still might need to throw a bone.
Generally once women have made that decision in their mind that you don't care about them, they've already begun the process of detatching themselves from you. The worst thing you can do at that point is try to salvage it by all of a sudden giving comfort. It will come across as forced and fake. The best course of action, from my experience, is to withdraw for a couple of months and then try to resume things on a new foot.
Ochreata 5y ago
It doesn’t matter how high your SMV is...women need to satisfy the security part of their dualistic nature. Even with a top 2% guy she is eventually going to move on if he doesn’t give her some comfort.
ChadsLeftNut 5y ago
Aren't you a model? That is more than top 10%. Thanks for the advice.
Youngyoda89 5y ago
What is an example of a top 2% man?
[deleted]
Snazzy_Serval 5y ago
How do you approach and start conversations with 2+ women at a bar when you're alone?
Is it possible to pull?
askmrcia 5y ago
Usually my go to when approaching a group of women at a club or bar is "what are we all you celebrating?"
Depending on their answer you can take the conversation wherever you want.
I know that sounds easier said then done because yea its fuckin stupid when you see chicks all standing in a circle preventing anyone to talk to them.
I usually don't bother approaching those. But if they are kind of spread apart and stuff, I mean you can go up to them and say whatever you want.
zyqkvx 5y ago
Right. Any simple contextual ordinary question or comment is really all that is needed to start a convo. It's the calibrating the during the conversation and the 'walking away' that are important. I'm calling 'the walk away' the ability to be rejected without flinching or cringing and excusing yourself in a way no-one nearby picks up on any disturbed body language, shame, anger, et al. It's also very important to know how to escalate when you are in the pocket.
Definitely learn kino. Learn all the points on a body and their ranking of being public vs private. A hand on the shoulder is less private than hand on the hip which is less private than a hand on the inner thigh. The inners are always more than the outer. Like the inner thigh vs outer thigh, same with arms. Notice the inners all have vulnerable arteries in them. The neck has arteries and is a very vulnerable place.
The thing to know is find the lesser private ones and touch them casually to see the response. When you walk her to the bar you can put your hand on her hip while trying to pass through too tables. Demonstrate by your touch that you are comfortable touching, and not about to shit your pants. This is how you know if she trusts you.
Snazzy_Serval 5y ago
Yeah I've heard the "what are we all you celebrating" line given as an opener as well. Yes it does seem much easier said than done. For some reason that just sounds too basic. Though I guess it's a start.
Would you say that line on two girls, or is it better with more people?
BTW what do you mean you don't bother approaching those? You don't approach groups? Women by themselves seem to be extremely rare.
askmrcia 5y ago
Honestly it really doesn't matter what you say, it's how you say it. You could say anything as an opener. My friend usually says some off the wall comment. Like he would walk up to a group of girls and ask one why her friend's nipples are too hard because he can see them through her shirt.
It sounds bad, but he delivers it in a way where he's kind of kidding and not coming across as a creepy asshole.
Yes absolutely. Again it doesn't matter what you say.
I mean usually when I see groups standing in circles around each other, I'm not approaching unless they are a Bachelorette party or something like that.
When they circle around each other, it's usually a waste of time because they aren't really open to talking to anyone other than the people they came there with. I said usually and you can read body language to know what I mean.
Snazzy_Serval 5y ago
So what really matters is how they perceive what you say. Your friends comment reminds me of Models where Mark said his friend would approach women with "I want to pee in your butt." And it worked for him.
Yeah you make a point about not approaching groups that are closed off.
zyqkvx 5y ago
If a group of people are standing in a circle with their feet all pointing to each other they are saying they don't want others to join the circle. If their seems to be an opening and the feet are looser pointing different directions than they more or less open for someone else to join. A good one for you is, What Every BODY is saying, by Joe Navarro on audible.
You're questions are so technical you might not see the forest for the trees until you get some stuff answered technically. That said this is a great book for anyone.
TheIcePill 5y ago
Met this girl,
She gives signals that she's interested giving IOIs, went to ask for her number and she gives it to me ez. I started to pull by telling her how cute she is. But midway when texting, her interest seem to drop and starts to indicate lack of IOI and shows a little bit of disrespect, not sure if she was joking, so I gave her a push as a reaction and ghosted ever since. She has a DGAF attitude or at least appears be.
It's obvious shes interested because she gave me her number. How do I game her from here?
pame12 5y ago
Try doing a push first, then a pull next time. Cause if you do a pull first then "she wins", and if you try to recover by doing a push, well, it won't really matter since she already "won".
Lambdal7 5y ago
Tell her you want to see her. If she asks why, because she's so sexy.
She'll either say fuck yes or fuck no and you're not wasting time.
MentORPHEUS Endorsed Contributor 5y ago
Don't give empty validation of things she has no control over. Also, base the compliment on YOUR opinion, as opposed to a general declaration. Make it specific to her.
Bad: You are cute!
Better: I like the way you're dressed/did your hair/ etc
mallardcove Endorsed Contributor 5y ago
If you are actively looking for ways to make her lose interest, validating her is the way.
TheIcePill 5y ago
In my defense I did immediately push her afterwards and ghosted so I didn't look desperate. Question is, how do I game her from here? Is all hope lost?
mallardcove Endorsed Contributor 5y ago
For women, men are a challenge. When you start validating her, she no longer sees you as a challenge. She then views you as low value, because high value men are a challenge for them. If there is no challenge for her, her interest wanes.
The push/ghost didn't work because a push/ghost only works when she views you as high value/a challenge. Since she doesn't, it comes across as fake.
Soft next, game other women. After 60 days, you can try to reconnect. Until then, forget about her.
TheIcePill 5y ago
Makes sense, but why 60 days?
Cesare_MA 5y ago
Probably just a random number of days, not to long not too short.
I’m not a total chad or anything, but the only time I’d ever call a girl cute is if I’m in an ltr with her or somewhere in that ballpark, maybe also in a club setting where we’ve been dancing for some time. If the chick isn’t a ONS, then you shouldn’t be saying gay shit like that except in the rarest circumstances.
Also, just because a girl gives you her number does not mean she is into you (addressing your original post).
[deleted] 5y ago
Guys I need advice on how to build sexual tension while hanging out with girls or being on a 1on1. I already had my first experience, and it sucked big time. She was dead cold, no IOIs, long gaps of silence and was... Well.. awkward.
Some guys suggested that I should've just done it during those long pauses cuz some girls just like it rough, but not sure that's right...
Anyways. Fortunately, I'm having a second chance this weekend with another potential plate.
The problem is that I don't know how to escalate while hanging out simply because of my long nice guy history. Any help will be appreciated.
MentORPHEUS Endorsed Contributor 5y ago
First off, don't frame it as a hangout then become disappointed when sexy times aren't on the table. This particular woman probably pegged you as a beta, with the hangout being your first orbit around her. Of course it annoys them when their beta friend wants to go off script and ham-fistedly try to hit on them.
Frame it as a date, and behave like it's one from the start, BUT with good calibration, escalation, and push-pull.
If you find yourself with a non-responsive person, cut it short by saying this isn't working for you have a great rest of the evening, then don't go away mad, just go away. You'll never NICE your way to intimacy with a cold unresponsive woman. Either she's genuinely not interested, or is playing a game of putting you through a long period where you must qualify yourself to her while she does nothing reciprocal, which would yield a relationship not worth having for you anyway.
If you repeatedly find yourself on unresponsive dates, the problem lies earlier in your dating funnel. You might have to churn through more prospects and/or modify your filters to find genuine IOIs to work with.
[deleted] 5y ago
Frame it as a date? Could you elaborate on that a bit more? You see, I usually approach girls and simply ask for their contact and then set time and place to hang out on a beer or a coffee if she is the shy introvert type. Now, I can't ask them to go with me on a "date" from the beginning, now, can't I? Isn't a bit serious for someone whom you've just met? But I get your point. Asking them to hang out but framing the whole thing as a date. I honestly don't know how to do that. I mean, what's the difference between hanging out and dating?
MentORPHEUS Endorsed Contributor 5y ago
First of all, kudos to you for actually approaching in this online era. Keep practicing this, but it wouldn't hurt to try some online dating.
In person, you still have to start at the basics, and escalate your way toward intimacy. Be interesting and intriguing enough as you go that you remain a viable mating choice, but use push-pull to get her engaged and invested in the process and escalate in appropriate size steps.
It's sometimes a matter of subtle differences. For example, saying We'll have to go out some time. instead of the safer We'll have to hang out some time.
[deleted] 5y ago
Well, thinking of the dates or hanging out sessions that I had with a couple of girls before, I came to realize that I maintained a good amount of interest going on between the both of us, held frame, I teased and pushed and pulled her, played it mysterious, and I can see the difference in the looks recent girls gave me and the looks girls from my blue-pilled days did: "THIS GUY IS A FUCKING ALPHA!" I mean I'm (kinda) playing my cards right when it comes to this aspect.
However, the problem rises when it comes to sexuality... I kinda still have that nice guy vibe going on. They sure as hell find talking to me interesting, but probably due to my low-moderate SMV, they can't think of me sexually. But I know that what I'm missing in all of my dates is the simple touches and the sexual escalation which I still don't know how to do appropriately.
[deleted] 5y ago
I'll make sure to make the tone of the invite more serious as to frame the whole thing not as a hang out friendly kind of meeting, but a date which may potentially lead to sex or LTR. I still have a long way to go. But that was helpful. Thank you.
Sonicracer100 5y ago
What's the consensus on calisthenics? I have to resort to them for the time being as the gym is unfortunately out of the question. My older bro who's done calisthenics for most of his life helps me out here and there so I'm not going in totally blind and in the dark.
timleif 5y ago
Does being polite and helpful signal beta status?
Lambdal7 5y ago
Only if you don't show alpha traits as well. However, if you show alpha traits and impolitness, it's not alpha either.
Entropy-7 5y ago
Not in itself if it is done from a position of empowered benevolence.
SigmundRoidd 5y ago
Polite with low smv? Yeah, you're being put into a box...
Polite with high smv? You'll be put on a pedestal.
Perception, status, and worth are the backbone of this game. The guys being prick to girls are compensating for bad past experiences with an opposite approach and/or attracting low grade women (doesn't matter if she's pretty, she's trash with issues if she likes that).
You can tease without being a sociopath.
And you can be nice and polite without being some doormat.
Not sure if it's possible to explain this in words, gotta go out in the world and experience it to know what I'm talking about.
MentORPHEUS Endorsed Contributor 5y ago
Depends on the underlying mindset.
If it comes from a place of neediness, definitely Beta and unattractive; it results in putting other people ahead at your loss. The main theme is sacrifice.
When it comes from a place of abundance, it can increase a top man's position. Think benevolent king as opposed to petty tyrant. From a Utilitarian standpoint it's living the Golden Rule because things function better this way. The main theme is synergy.
If you're polite and helpful according to your own standards and only at times and manners of your choosing, then it's difficult to fit into a beta/inferior model.
timleif 5y ago
The reason I'm asking is because I recalled Jordan Peterson saying that agreeableness is stronger in females. I'm curious that I display traits like agreeableness, politeness, non-aggression, whether these will cause people to frame you as beta -- which, I admit, might be useful in a workplace where it's best to appear neutral and non-threatening. But outside of that, it just reeks of niceguy.
syn1us 5y ago
Nope, it signals high status and will help you reach the upper echelons of power, if used properly. Be polite but do not let others disrespect you, help others but do not be their maid.
timleif 5y ago
The reason I'm asking is because I recalled Jordan Peterson saying that agreeableness is stronger in females. I'm curious that I display traits like agreeableness, politeness, non-aggression, whether these will cause people to frame you as beta -- which, I admit, might be useful in a workplace where it's best to appear neutral and non-threatening. But outside of that, it just reeks of niceguy.
syn1us 5y ago
That's correct. Do not be agreeable to appease others, defend your views as long as doing so doesn't interfere with your chances of succeeding. Always treat people with respect and be polite, but remain cold and distant, and never allow others to abuse and disrespect you. Do this and you will reap the benefits of being a good person without becoming a niceguy.
Read The 48 Laws of Power if you haven't already.
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disabledtrp 5y ago
I was actually wondering the same thing. I don't distrust TRP truths, but maybe they are not absolute? (in terms that AWALT exists and is present in every women, but on some can be on a lower percentage of their personality? And the context where you meet this womens has to do with that? )
womans_algorithm 5y ago
Why do you think that's true?
[deleted] 5y ago
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womans_algorithm 5y ago
Yeah, you don't go to Russia looking for lions, you go to Africa. You don't go through trash looking for diamonds, etc. etc.
intergalactic_panic 5y ago
I have a date lined up for Saturday night with a girl to go see fireworks near my house. She is planning on coming over and has told me she is excited. I haven't texted her since Monday night, and that was when I didn't respond to her text since I wanted to keep texting to a minimum. Would it be safe to text her Friday afternoon, the day before, saying ready to see you tomorrow, to ensure we are still on for a date?
C-ingRed 5y ago
I would do Saturday morning, it shows you are still interested but don't ask some weak shit like, "Are we still on for tonight?" Or "Did you still want to go see fireworks?" Speak as if it is already confirmed and you are telling her the details.
After that you can't just text her back and forth all day. Because you are busy doing high value shit.
ungodlyunsure 5y ago
Does true love exist? Is it possible to feel after becoming redpilled?
red_philosopher 5y ago
It does exist. And it is like heroin to the mind. It is dangerous and exhilarating.
C-ingRed 5y ago
Yes it exists. You can truly love yourself.
I'm not talking about narcissism, actual self love/actualization.
The trouble with consciousness is that you can never, ever, ever know what is going on within someone else's. So don't be dependent on anyone's but your own.
ungodlyunsure 5y ago
Yeah sounds like being a one-man army is the way to go. Gotta shed my false Disney preconceptions of “romance and love”.
C-ingRed 5y ago
I just remembered something I read on here when I was struggling with this concept-
"If you want true love, get a dog."
ungodlyunsure 5y ago
It’s true, the closest female in my life has been my late dog.
[deleted] 5y ago
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ImpressiveDig 5y ago
Nope, not surprising. I'd argue that many times the depth of conversation and ability to focus also depends on their intelligence and maturity levels, but its hard to tell that when you first open a convo. Also they like to play mind games on text, which is basically another form of a shit test.
Usually go quid pro quo, if she takes a while to respond, I ghost and don't respond till much later. If she's really into you she'd be down to have a proper text conversation anyways and you'll see walls of text instead of one word/one sentence responses.
[deleted] 5y ago
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ImpressiveDig 5y ago
Sure. What I meant by shit tests via text is she will see how fast you respond, how much validation you give her (doesn't seem like you're screwing the pooch here). Its an assessment to see how much you're invested in her. If she posts something on snapchat or instagram, she will want to see if you comment/liked or have looked at it, or are too busy to care.
From what I'm reading it seems like shes into you, especially since she initiates conversations. Continue working on the push pull strategy and ask her out the next time you an opportunity.
[deleted] 5y ago
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ImpressiveDig 5y ago
That's great! Good luck and have fun!
Chit-Chad 5y ago
So a while ago, I got advice here regarding how to approach HB9 at the gym. Broke the ice by discussing this exercise she does and didn't stick around too long, set a first impression, got an introduction and small talk. Saw her workout right around me the rest of the time I was there, but ignored her.
Now, I'm wondering how to go about conversing the next time i see her, maybe bring up a common hobby I know we have? Considering you can't have a long conversation on the gym floor, wait for a few more interactions before I can ask for her number, establish a rapport? Thoughts?
syn1us 5y ago
Then bring up something interesting that you have been doing recently and if she reciprocates by telling you what she's been up to or she asks questions regarding what you have been up to, she might be interested and you can keep talking. If she doesn't care, ignore and next.
Chit-Chad 5y ago
Great advice, keeping it simple. Assuming it goes well, should I go in for a phone number? Would it be better to build a better rapport first and be patient?
I'm thinking potential LTR with this one, if possible. So I don't want to risk being too aggressive, or is that beta talk?
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MentORPHEUS Endorsed Contributor 5y ago
When the question is "how do I ask her [something]?" then yes it's beta talk.
When your problem is women walking away mid-conversation or there emerges a pattern of angry rejection of your advances, then whether your behavior is too aggressive becomes a relevant question.
Chit-Chad 5y ago
Fair enough, I think everyone's focusing on "how do I ask her ____" part, that shouldn't be a problem I have a few ideas but still appreciate the input. In a normal conversation I wouldn't fuck around too long and eventually go in for the phone number but since this is the gym, I can't talk to her for more than a couple minutes so I was wondering if I should play a patient game and build rapport, or go in for the kill right away. I was inclining towards the patience game but that sounds awfully beta, or maybe not?
Edit: Aggressive is probably the wrong word, I meant more like proactive or upfront, in regards to asking for her phone number or waiting.
MentORPHEUS Endorsed Contributor 5y ago
Proactive and upfront are ADVANTAGES when approaching women. They've usually already sized up whether they'll date you before you even speak, so when you waffle around and leave without asking for a number or date, you're probably changing maybes to nah in her mind.
Like it or not, it's the man's prerogative in the mating game to initiate escalation and risk rejection.
ImpressiveDig 5y ago
If you have questions about a certain topic, and you could use her input, its an easy segway into numbers.
I'd try to build one/two more conversations sessions before going in for the number.
Chit-Chad 5y ago
Yeah I'm inclined towards the patient approach. If it were a general conversation with enough time to build rapport and ask for number I'd do that, but since it's a gym I feel like I need to give it a few more conversations before I can make my intentions clear. Gym's tricky since you can't talk to someone for too long at a time.
ImpressiveDig 5y ago
I agree, good luck, if you have some success post and update us!
Chit-Chad 5y ago
Update: started off shaky, I got to the gym and felt like she was avoiding eye contact so I decided to let her be but then saw her looking at me a few times using the mirrors (clever) so I decided to go up and thanked her for giving me this tip last time we talked (actually used the tip) and brought up this gym class I go to and she said she's seen me go there and she's been not as regular lately, so I invited her to try it out later this week and asked for her number. Didn't get the right vibe at that point, so it might not work out afterall. Or maybe I'm mistaken, maintained eye contact the whole time, was laughing so there's all sorts of signals here. 10/10 eyes, will only text for logistics next.
EramSumEro 5y ago
Glad that you asked her anyway bro, regardless of how it ends up. I think inviting her to the class was a smart move, as it wasn't asking too much of her since it stays within the gym and is already a common interest you two share. Curious to know how it went
Chit-Chad 5y ago
I invited her but she was signed up for something else already, i know that was true but I don't think she's interested either. Oh well, onto the next.
joetylinda 5y ago
How can one have a rapport with others? For me I don't have a problem approaching people but as I continue interacting they become at most acquaintance but never have friendliness and harmony with them.
Killing__Time_ 5y ago
I try to introduce different groups of people together so I am a common denominator. It helps immensely.
This advice comes from my generic nomaic life where I had to live in places where I neither shared cultures or language or way of life.
womans_algorithm 5y ago
Rapport is one thing, friendliness and harmony is a different thing. Expecting to become friends with someone you've just met is false. And by "just met" I don't mean day 1, but few months. Real relationships takes time, you can't follow a guide from PUA/TRP to make them.
Killing__Time_ 5y ago
I find that I get a boost of confidence only when I succeed in something (extrinsic motivation). If I am not accomplishing goals, I am neutral or low in motivation (intrinsic).
How do I simply DGAF and cultivate intrinsic motivation?
womans_algorithm 5y ago
You misunderstand extrinsic and intrinsic motivation. Feeling good when you succeed is intrinsic, not extrinsic. Extrinsic would be you treating yourself with some candy when you succeed.
Mr_Badass 5y ago
Learn about internal locus of control.
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darchetype 5y ago
Been doing more bent-over rows and deadlifts to eliminate my rounded shoulders and APT but haven't seen any improvement over the past few months. Any suggestions on other workouts to try or do I just need to give it more time?
pame12 5y ago
Might be worth taking a break for a month (still keep eating a good amount of protein though) so that the exercise tolerance of your muscles gets lowered/reset.
availableEXCLAMATION 5y ago
Try some more direct rear delt work. My favorites are; Face pulls, rear delt dumbbell flys, rear delt pec dec, pull apart.
pretty_bread 5y ago
Had the same problem but after reading alot on this topic only training your back to fix rounded shoulder isn't sufficient, you have to add more exercises that target the "middle" back, one of these is face pulls.
PR0JECT_XIII 5y ago
Superset!
Superset with a reverse grip pull up. You can really grind it out.
I also super set bent over row with deadlifts - give that a crack if you want to swell up that back.
Dabunghole 5y ago
Scapular retractions. Banded spider crawls. Look up and push your chest out when you shrug.
Mr_Badass 5y ago
Face pulls work wonders. Yoga moves like chaturanga, chair pose, bridge pose, and clamshells work great. Ass to grass squats. Strengthen yourr Glutes and hamstrings because it helps with the muscle imbalances in the body the spine caused by rounded shoulders .
do_you_even_liftbro 5y ago
Pull-ups, Overhead press, dumbbell shoulder press.. Bar hangs are good post-workout
Cesare_MA 5y ago
Bar hangs pre bench/OHP have pretty much eradicated some minor shoulder issues I was having. Can’t believe I never see people doing them in the gym.
dryenz 5y ago
Do you guys feel the need pressure to approach girls every time you see them?
red_philosopher 5y ago
Depends on what you mean by "pressure". LoL
splendid_phoenix 5y ago
So I discovered this subreddit a couple months ago and have acquired a few plates. The main dish I'm interested in fucking ghosted me after I teased her (perhaps too much?). Do I MGTOW?
red_philosopher 5y ago
So what? Your don't need her and you have others in the pipe. Keep working on yourself, and take it for what it is. A learning experience. Giving up now will only delay your growth and limit your potential.
PR0JECT_XIII 5y ago
There is another chick out their that will play back.
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kikoslh 5y ago
How do I state my boundaries if they have been trespassed without knowing it? e.g omission of something.
beefthathasredmiddle 5y ago
When ever someone crosses a boundary you need to talk to them about it. Always give the benefit of the doubt, because 90% of the time they didn’t know what they were doing was a problem. It should go something like this. The key is to get them to say it won’t happen again.
1st Offence: “hey, you did this earlier, this is why it was a shitty thing to do.”
2nd Offence: “hey I told you I had a problem with this, why did you decide to do it anyways?”
3rd Offence: “hey, we’ve talked about this, are you purposefully trying to upset me?”
99.9% people will stop after the first time you mention it. If it happens again, it’s a habit and they forgot. 3rd time, this person doesn’t respect you and you need to take action to get them to stop, or to cut this person out of your life. If it’s at work, bring it up with your manager.
CeremonyTree 5y ago
What's the fastest way for me to start getting plates with basically no options and basically all LTR'd friends (just getting out of a shitty relationship myself). I've started to get into contact with some of my more distant bros that I know are single, but aside from that, what type of game should I get into?
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syn1us 5y ago
By connecting social circles (i.e friends of friends), nightgame (get their number in the club) and online dating (if you are clearly above average as far as looks are concerned).
McRoddy 5y ago
I went to a party last night after a long time of grinding and not going to huge parties ( was grinding alone for about a month save for meeting a few close friends every now And then) I only had a few people I knew at the party. I smoked some weed for the first time in a month and I was ridden with anxiety. It was awful. How do I combat social anxiety and should I cancel weed out for good?
syn1us 5y ago
Weed is bad, and it is incompatible with game because it does not allow you to focus.
availableEXCLAMATION 5y ago
Too much weed can make you anxious and feel real vulnerable or even overwhelmed and quiet. As you have come to realize.
Solution: Don’t smoke as much or any weed / build a higher tolerance so one joint or something won’t effect you as much. Personally for me as a big smoker, I have to have my tolerance high to be ok smoking in social situations.
McRoddy 5y ago
Yeah I think I’ll have to cancel out for good. I used to be a big smoker so it makes sense that it didn’t effect as much back in the day. I felt like a faker as if my progress up until now is false and I was still the weak kid I was a year ago.
availableEXCLAMATION 5y ago
Yeah dude, That’s exactly what I meant by it can make you feel “vulnerable”.. Cannabis has very introspective effects, and in my experience it can sometimes make me feel the opposite of confident. I LOVE that tho when I’m smoking alone late at night thinking about my plans and my future and my fuck ups and just being a stoner thinking about life. I find it to be a very beneficial substance as well as just plain old enjoyable.
I highly recommend moderation: both in terms of a day to day basis, ie, don’t be high all day every day. As well as taking short and extended breaks.
I’ve come to the same conclusions as you, that cannabis is not always best suited for social settings. Smoking with the Bois or whatever is one thing.
Angu_jungle_poo 5y ago
Feeling the same thing recently, smoked for 5 or so years on/off. When I come back without a tolerance itcan really floor me into the wrong mindset. Then a lot of the time if you've got a lot on in life (in general) it's brilliant.
Best thing i find is working out before smoking. Combats the anxiety.
IDreamAlpha 5y ago
What are some good Documentaries/Youtubers to watch consistently?
airmcnair06 5y ago
Check out The Fearless Man
ImpressiveDig 5y ago
Richard Cooper
Icarus MGTOW
Those are my go to for RP content.
Not sure what your other interests are.
IDreamAlpha 5y ago
As long as it helps me improve, I'm interested.