Check her attitude/action and not what she says.

If she's anxious, "I'm bad at them" could be insecurity. To be dealt with as a comfort test. Talk her gently and reassuringly into it. It's not dirty, it's good for bonding, it puts her in control of your pleasure, etc..

If she's defiant, "I don't really know you" sounds like Anti-Slut Defense. To be dealt with as a shit-test. Tell her she's totally right and that since you don't know her either, it's probably better you don't have sex with her but that "maybe we can stay friends".

"and i don't fuck on the first date.."

A lot of times especially with younger girls this can be inexperience and insecurity, not necessarily something she finds wrong with you. Offer to show her how it's done.

"how about a rimjob"

She might be an alpha widow; meaning you're just stepping into a bigger, better man's shoes. She'll always be wanting the man that left her and rocked her world, and nobody but a better man than him can take his place.

Don't take sloppy seconds when she denies you what she freely have to another man. She's obviously done it to another man, as she uses the excuse, "I'm not good at them".

This is your prescription to fix this condition: Withdraw from doting on her and comforting her; cut sexual contact, even if that means sleeping on the couch. Spend more time out of the house, preferably at the gym or out with friends. She'll eventually wonder why you're neglecting her, and either confront you or fuck you. If she fucks you, get her to suck your dick. Don't ask, just position yourself as if you were about to receive one. If she confronts you, turn it into a fuck sesh and do as mentioned above.

Ask yourself this question. If she got invited backstage by a famous rich musician do you think she'd tell him she didn't give blow jobs? She'd be on her knees in record time trying to prove to him how awesome she is. The problem here is that she isn't doing the same for you.

This is a lot less about insecurity and a hell of a lot more about her willingness to please and more importantly to prove herself. You have somehow shown to her that she is perfect as she is and that she doesn't have to try any harder.

You confirmed this by fucking her silly after she manipulated you into forgiving her. The backbone of all interactions is validation. If you give her validation after she denies you yours then you are showing her that she has more value than you. Withhold your validation longer next time and watch her become a lot more willing to please you.

Every girl I have been intimate with or dated has not only sucked but also swallowed. I've encouraged the sucking, I've never pushed the swallowing. But they all do it, even the innocent ones. Even the one I didn't get to fuck.

Downgrade her a bit. Less commitment, less treats. It's not a dealbreaker surely as you're fucking her. You've licked her once - don't do it again. Don't pressure her, she'll hamster herself round when she knows she's gotta try to please you.

hamstered something about her being bad at them and her not really knowing me.

"Practice makes perfect" ;)

"The no oral sex thing is sort of a dealbreaker for me, sorry."

My wife refused to give me head for years. Her excuses were that she wasn't good at it (true), that I didn't like it that much (true because see A), and some bullshit grudge she held for years because this one time I went down on her she had a blob of TP in her cootch and it grossed me out and apparently she was still pissed at me about it 5 years later.

Then one day in the middle of fucking I just pulled out and shoved my dick in her mouth.

Cue regular BJs from then on.

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Tell her it's a deal breaker.

I'd just slept. I woman who won't blow you isn't into you.

I asked her why she didn't do blowjobs and she hamstered something about her being bad at them and her not really knowing me.

Well that's the best possible answer. It's easy to get girls comfortable with things like that, with a little work.

Practice makes perfect

And this is a problem because...? So she doesn't blow random guys right away and it's a problem, if she does she's a slut because AWALT. Seriously just teach her and enjoy a mouth that hasn't had a dick in it every week. This is the opposite of a problem.

Find a non-threat to talk to her about it, discuss fears and techniques, etc. if it's really important. Having a girlfriend or gay best friend encourage sluttyness in various forms has always worked for me.

Or if it's a plate and not too serious, embrace her for what she offers, and find another one who enjoys face fucking. There are plenty out there.

Most girls are not good at it, and that's why they don't do it. You need to give them time, embrace the teeth jobs and wait for them to get better.