I've never posted anything so if I make a mistake. Pardon me . Hi I'm 23. I'm not a virgin incel. But I never a gf. I used to be really cute in my teenage time. While growing up, I moved to another city where I lost my hair the sideways from front side. I look weird. I can't transplant coz doctors said I can't. All of my friends have gf. I tried alot, got rejected every single time except hookups. The only person I dated was a cougar and she drained me emotionally,mentally and spiritually. I started doing drugs after she started to ignore me. I did it for two years continouesly. Opiates and marijuana ruined my body even further and ruined my time. I did it until there was no pleasure in it. Then I simply quit. By now chasing fantasy destroyed me completely. I just wished someone to say "I love you" to me. I came to know about red pill almost a year ago. Everything made sense here. But I didn't practice. It just boosted dopamine in my brain I guess. Some days ago a female friend of mine told me I should concentrate on making money that no girl in her right mind would breed with a guy like me. That hit me really hard. Like yeah my parents used to say these cruel things sometimes when they were mad at me. My friends would joke about it and I'd take it to another level just to make everybody laugh but I never told anyone how much it hurts inside. It feels like I'm outcasted alien among humans. I'm no psychopath, or on a rage about this, or narcissistic about my looks. Once I read a book about plastic surgeon. He says how you feel about yourself really matters on how you look to others. " I just want to know how to get through this shitty existence. It doesn't matter now. I remember I used to be super nice to everyone. Currently I'm on monk mode. I live alone far away from people I know. It was the only option I had. But now i feel like why am I doing this ? Why am I trying everyday to get better when humanity has denied me love and beauty ? What is the purpose of my existence ? I constantly dream of running away and erase people's memory about me. I've never shared my misery with anyone. I don't wanna look like a cry baby but I'm just so sad about me I need help. Not just some words to act as a fuel for sometime. Some real genuine advice.
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W_O_M_B_A_T 5y ago
Make an appointment with a professional counselor. Talk about your issues. Stop making excuses.
Iron Rule of Thomassi #6:
Women are utterly incapable of loving a man in the way that a man expects or wishes to be loved.
Why aren't you loving yourself? It's Not women's job to make you feel adored and nurtured, even if they had that inclination. Your mother figure is gone and you're an adult now. You don't need mothering. .
Oooops. You paid massive amounts of attention to something some woman said. Your bad.
Imposter Syndrome.
Plastic surgery has zero effect on imposter Syndrome, which is why people usually end up getting several more surgeries until they get sick of paying tens of thousands of dollars.
Cultivate an Abundance Mentality.
Your life feels shitty because you have created habits and beliefs that sabotage your ability to get your long term emotional needs met.
Needs such as social interaction, interaction with the opposite sex, letting your guard down around people, having something productive to do with your time and efforts, and having a positive direction in your life (self-actualization.)
This may not have been deliberate, but over time those habits have began to add up to a lifestyle of frustration, withdrawal, and avoidance.
Stop being antisocial and make some friends. Choose to let your guard down and be seen.
Not trying to get better in ways that get your needs for social interaction met.
Entitlement is another beta trait. Nobody is owed a single thing by the universe or society. You're not denied anything. Either take steps to get what you want and keep trying new methods to get those things. Or else don't.
Nobody is refusing to dole the things you want by the kilo and deliver them on your doorstep automatically. You are not owed your body to look a certain way. You are not owed friendships or attention from women. You are not owed a satisfying job. In fact I would go so far as to say that you are cultivating habits that avoid the latter three.
You should know already that the outside world can never, ever answer questions like that.
Your mental space is an "I-tocracy." That means "I set my own dogma. I set my policies. If my mental state is chaos, I am self-governing poorly." If you want questions decided, you need to ask the one person who is in charge.
Hah! You're not nearly as memorable as you believe you are.
Most people don't care that much and have forgotten about you 98% already. Nobody cares about mildly embarrassing shit that happened to you in the past.
idobermanlover 5y ago
Thank you very much. Loved your answer.
ultimatrev666 5y ago
And stay away from drugs and alcohol, at all costs. It sounds like that might have farked up your brain chemistry a bit.
idobermanlover 5y ago
I'm clean. I wake up. Eat something. Walk, meditate, wash myself, clothes. Then I'm back to editing videos and study. But since last 3-4 days, I'm just numb and I can't concentrate on anything. I've always been brightening someone's day as long as I remember. Drugs used to make me shine. But it fucked me too. I DID NOT ATTENDED COLLEGE BECAUSE I WAS TOO SHY AND TIMID to walk around a huge crowd. BUT I lied to my parents that I do go to college. I do feel guilty about lying though. But I don't want to hurt them. Idk how to confess. My existence is so utterly waste I know. But my parents do really love me.
Drugs screwed me mentally and physically. I want to make music videos but I'm too insecure about my looks.
ultimatrev666 5y ago
I was diagnosed with Autism and suffer extreme social anxiety, but I still managed to get my bachelor in information science security and work a high profile IT job. Just find something to work for.
ultimatrev666 5y ago
I suffered from premature receding in my early 20's and just do a buzz (no guard).
If improving your looks is out of the question, do what you can to improve your socio-economic status. The latter is probably more important, my uncle is short and goofy looking but he makes seven figures, drives a Bentley and slays p****.
idobermanlover 5y ago
What do you mean by "just do a buzz"? As depressing as it sounds, I'll never be normal guy. But I have no option.
ultimatrev666 5y ago
Buzzcut, ya know. But point being, you can be physcically unattractive and slay poonani if you have the socio-economic status to make up for it.
​
Like others have said, find a purpose and work towards it.
idobermanlover 5y ago
Whoa
adam-l Moderator 5y ago
Lose the weird look. If you lack hair on the front part of your head, get used to wearing a fig or go bald and grow a beard.
Don't panic, get a plan on fixing your life. It is doable.
idobermanlover 5y ago
Wearing a fig ? ..u sure ? That's the question how do I improve my physical package ?.
adam-l Moderator 5y ago
TBH, no, not sure about the fig part. May be a solution, depending on how important your problem is.
Bald might be a better bet.
Once you acknowledge your problem, you do have to take action, though. If you just do the same stuff, expecting to just be accepted and loved in spite of your problems, you won't get anywhere.
On the bright side, women are unable to love a man anyway, even if you looked like Adonis, so you just need to do what everyone else does, just more. Not something radically different.
_thechinaman_ 5y ago
Did you just call yourself really cute?
idobermanlover 5y ago
The transition was cruel
_thechinaman_ 5y ago
Oh boy I read it to the end. You got a long road ahead of you. In terms of women, don't even fucking worry about that right now. Most women suck anyways. You need some Purpose. How do you get purpose? Well, you could get a mission(tm) where you have this thing like a band or a business or whatever. That will distract you long enough but if you can just quit hard drugs like that, then there is no way you will able to run away forever. What you need is to grab your balls, grab em good and tight, and then go down this abyssal rabbit hole to get some grand scale context. My journey has been like this: Went to France after highschool, met most Beautiful girl ever, decided want to become the perfect man, found RSD, looked up to RSDTyler for a long time and learned all this RSD shit, kind of went to the gym and community college and read self help books and definitely became smarter, found the red pill, discovered the Book of Pook, obsessed over that for a while, found GayLubeOil's material, decided to take his mentoring program because he is really fucking smart and an asshole to the max, and now I am here. I would say it was all necessary to get me to this point but reading GayLubeOil's posts, taking his mentorship, and reading Ride The Tiger have benefitted me the absolute most. There are two options really. Keep distracting yourself from reality or go hard on the search for it by reading difficult books and lifting heavy weights. As an outcast, you kind of have no choice. Most people, literally 99.9% of them, are fucking sheep and now that I have red pilled you (epically), you have no choice but to not be a sheep or forever live with the knowledge that you are one. Muahaha. I would start with GayLubeOil's posts. Very fucking tough pills.
bruiser18 5y ago
What does GLO’s mentoring program consist of bro?
_thechinaman_ 5y ago
Difficult workouts, difficult books, and the Red fucking Pills.
bruiser18 5y ago
He gave you advice aside from lifting?
_thechinaman_ 5y ago
Yes
idobermanlover 5y ago
Used to be
SOLODOLOGUY 5y ago
Fix up your diet. (Very Important to your body and mental health. Trust me.)
Go to a therapist/psychologist
Lift weights(lost fat and gain muscle)
Just focus on yourself bro. Sorry to hear about your issues but stay strong and just improve yourself on step and day at a time.
PM me if you wanna talk man. I suffer from depression and anxiety and cleaning up my diet and lifting weights is really helping me.