“done playing games” = “Chads don’t pay attention to me at the bar anymore

“man up” = “pay for the baby I made with Chad

“resources” = “your money”

“not looking for sex” = “looking for your money, and be grateful for starfish once a month”

“must have a house, a car, and a steady income” = “I don’t have one and I need yours”

“the father is not in the picture” = “the father is ALWAYS in the picture”

“Who’s Chad?” = He’s “just a friend”

“Don’t judge me by my past!” = banks, home lenders, car lenders, all “judge you by your past” but I’m not supposed to?

“toxic relationships” = “if you’re the common denominator in all of these relationships, maybe some self introspection is in order?”

“Respect me” = “Chad was allowed to pound my head against the headboard all night but since you’re a Billy Beta I want you opening doors and paying for my dinner at Chilis”

“I didn’t friendzone you!!” = “I friendzoned you” Hang around until Chad stops pounding me six ways from Sunday then I’ll be on your speed dial.”

HELL I FORGOT THE MOST IMPORTANT SLUT BIBLE ENTRY!

"MY KIDS ARE ALWAYS NUMBER ONE AND THEY WILL ALWAYS COME FIRST!"="You will always come THIRD at best behind her kids, her, bio dad, then maybe YOU. Playstation is better, pay cash for sex. At least you know what you're paying for.