Tl,dr; Don't be jealous, but don't be gullible. Stand for yourself.
This is a text mainly to the RP newbies, who might be in a LTR. Take it more as a guideline and some ideas.
Jealousy There are a couple of simple reasons why you shall not be jealous:
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The first one, it shows insecurity and is one of the biggest deal breakers.
- The second one, it gives validation towards the person you're jealous. This only applies when he is a real perceived threat to you.
Think about that, you wouldn't say anything about her BP loser friend, but about his "new and nice" friend from work. Even is she isn't attracted to him, she might think "Hey my BF is jealous of new guy, he might have a point. "
Here is the harsh truth, if a women wants to cheat on you, she will. If a women wants to change you for other, branch swinging, she will.
Even if you don't like that, I'll happen. After all, AWALT. There exist methods to improve your perceived SMV. See dread game.
But you may ask. What then shall I do?
The answer don't be a fool, be cautious but don't let it show.
For example: I tend to have this talk with new plates, "Look I like to e very honest and open in a relationship. If I ever want to be with another women you'll be the first to know and I expect the same for you" But in reality, I'm expect them to try to lie or deceive me at some point.
About branch swinging and cheating IMHO I see two types of cheating. The difference lies in her intent, the first is a complete change to a new BF and easier to detect, the second if done right almost impossible.
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Branch Swinging Why is it easy to detect? Because it takes time and has, at least to me, very clear phases. Because it takes some time, you can see her mood, behavior change little by little, always be wary.
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The first one, is meeting or increasing her interaction with the new guy. She might start talking more about him and trying to have time for "her".
- The second one, is the hamstering. Maybe she'll be less open about her phone and be less willingly to spend time with you.
-The third one, is the swinging. Most women want to play safe, and try with the new guy, if it doesn't work out she'll intent to return. The classic, is a "break" or she could be more open and just end it with you.
What to do? Please and for self respect never never take back some ex LTR. If you catch it at the beginning apply some dread game and improve your SMV, it could be an attention call. But realize that it could happen again in the future.
The second is just plain cheating, just fucking a ONS or some friend just to give an example.
And if done right, quite impossible to catch . Imagine one of the Tuesdays nights she said "I'm not feeling like going out today". When what really happened, she invited her old fling to drink some wine and just "chat".
Not a single word from her, not a change from her.
The key is in the small details, maybe some error in the story she told you.
Edit: After some thought there is another kind of cheating, systematic cheating but without the intention of changing you. "Girls just wanna have fun"
The key here as it isn't for one time, she'll try to find excuses to make time for her lover. And you might detect some changes on her behavior. Or you have this gut feeling, like this post explains.
Gunplayin 8y ago
This re-enforces the reason to not worry about it. Just be the best you, lift, be healthy, and live your life. Girls lie, AWALT. But some can't hold lies in long, some shit eats at your soul. The best indicator is if her pussy is still dripping for you.
Also, there was a post referring to an article a week ago that pointed out the things guys do when they're cheating. It was an example of dread game. People say branch swinging girls are going to buy lingerie, do nice things for you, and lose weight, etc... But I wrote a post explaining that if you're increasing your SMV a girl will likely increase hers to level the playing field, in fear of losing you to a higher value woman. This has been the result in my case.
"To the victor go the spoils."
Invalidity 8y ago
This is where people fail to distinguish relationships versus plating. In a relationship, you MUST be willing to set boundaries. Jealousy is not a useful trait to have, and it does in fact only serve to drive the other person further away.... but, you need a fair dose of skepticism.
A lot of guys insist on practicing abundance mentality, but that mindset is best suiting for managing plates. For a relationship that is a bit more committed, you must be willing to enforce the boundaries and to demonstrate that you don't tolerate bullshit.
Otherwise, what is the real point in being in a relationship with the other person? They step on you yet you commit yourself to them... that makes you the fool. Abundance is perfect when dealing with plates (think FWB), because if one plate drops, you pick up another. Bam, done.
The idea behind a relationship is that you want more out of the relationship, whether that be exclusiveness, more time together, etc. If your girl goes out clubbing and gets drunk every night with "her girls", she is not relationship material. I don't give a shit how much abundance you think you have, you'd have to absolutely be fucking retarded to commit to such a travesty.
drunkandstoned 8y ago
LTRs should not be getting inebriated when you aren't around, if you don't define this boundary at the beginning of your LTR you are asking for trouble.
SweetGB 8y ago
Here is what I think, it mainly depends on the setting, is she's really hanging out with some friends, think on a house.
I don't really see a problem, meanwhile in a party or especially clubbing is the boundary I define.
Invalidity 8y ago
The thing to remember is that her guy friends are guaranteed to be beta orbiters. They get alcohol in her, they will try to make a move on her. Doesn't matter how much you trust her at that point, alcohol lowers peoples' inhibitions.
ShanksNes 8y ago
Jealousy means you're still thinking about others. Don't. It's a waste of your time, which is the most precious thing in the world to you. Instead, ask yourself, what can you do right now to have a better sex life? And then do that.
SweetGB 8y ago
Jealousy, is when you're worried about someone taking something you have. And it applies when you're in a relationship.
And in theory you'll be thinking on your LTR.
Assassin1476 8y ago
-Maintaining Frame- “You have to not be afraid to take a loss to get your point across. When she gives you that ultimatum, if you look like you’re sweating and you’re blinking and you’re nervous about her leaving, she will take advantage of that.” Patrice O'Neal
-Dread Game- “You can’t love a woman like a woman loves you […] You can’t go ‘boobie bear’, you can’t hold her hand the way she’s holding yours. It’s a distance thing. […] You gotta make her chase you. Stay gone for a couple days.” Patrice O'Neal
dr_warlock 8y ago
ScholarInRed 8y ago
A decent post, but you could do with going over it for a few typos, just for clarity.
Much more importantly, you need to properly and clearly apply the recently instated posting rules found on the sidebar.
SweetGB 8y ago
Thanks, first time posting a thread on my own.
bsutansalt 8y ago
Fix your post per the rules here:
http://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/3a0135/announcement_new_thread_requirements/
SweetGB 8y ago
Don't know why the downvotes, fixed some typos and the lt,dr;