Practical Stoicism Tools
Stoicism philosophy is on the rise. I have been practising it for a couple of years now and would like to share 3 of the most effective and practical mental exercise/meditations that I have used.
Method One: A view from above
'You can rid yourself of many useless things among those that disturb you, for they lie entirely in your imagination; and you will then gain for yourself ample space by comprehending the whole universe in your mind, and by contemplating the eternity of time, and observing the rapid change of every part of everything, how short is the time from birth to dissolution, and the illimitable time before birth as well as the equally boundless time after dissolution'
– Marcus Aurelius
Marcus Aurelius advises us to perform an exercise called 'view from above'. This exercise involves us envisioning ourselves from the third person. In this vision, we zoom out while keeping ourselves in the centre. We continue zooming out and contemplating the scale of the universe. For instance, your first zoom might encompass a view of you from above the roof of your house. Increase the magnitude and you might see a view of your street, increase the magnitude and you might see a view of your country. Keep going until you can picture a view of Earth from the stars.
With this scale, we can gain a better perspective on the insignificance of our problems. When compared to the universe whatever problems we might appear incredibly trivial. For instance, if you were feeling down because a girl flaked on you or someone insulted you, try this exercise. It is far easier to overcome the emotional hurdles we experience when we put things into perspective.
Method Two: Negative visualization
'Remember that all we have is “on loan” from Fortune, which can reclaim it without our permission—indeed, without even advance notice. Thus, we should love all our dear ones, but always with the thought that we have no promise that we may keep them forever—nay, no promise even that we may keep them for long.'
- Seneca
Negative visualization despite the name is an exercise that will increase your default level of happiness if practised consistently.The exercise consists of you envisioning what it would feel like if you lost certain things from your life. Some of the things that you could consider during the exercise are:
• How it would feel to not have a roof over your head.
• How it would feel to lose social status.
• How it would feel to live in a third world country.
• How it would feel to have a physical disability.
• How it would feel to lose a loved one.
This exercise is not meant to be dark or morbid, it’s meant to put things into perspective. Allowing you to see how lucky you truly are. It also prepares you for the worst case scenarios in which one of these things does happen. You are not meant to fixate on these thoughts, but consider them from time to time.
This is a very practical way for you to practice gratitude, naturally, when you consider things being removed from your life, you start to gain a sense of gratitude. Now gratitude is important because of a thing called ‘hedonic adaptation’, basically, it’s a term that defines the tendency for humans to always go back to their default level of happiness.
If you won the lotto and became a millionaire, your base level of happiness will increase for a while. However, when you become accustomed to the lifestyle, despite all the new toys, you will return to your base level. Gratitude breaks this pattern, allowing you to enjoy each step on the ladder. You can be grateful when you own a box, and you can be grateful when you own a Lamborghini Avendator.
Method Three: Voluntary Discomfort
'But neither a bull nor a noble-spirited man comes to be what he is all at once; he must undertake hard winter training, and prepare himself, and not propel himself rashly into what is not appropriate to him'
- Epictetus
The last exercise has been advised to us by Epictetus. It is called 'voluntary discomfort'. In this exercise, we are going to deliberately put ourselves through uncomfortable situations. We will do this in order to train ourselves to not hold onto comfort with such high regard. We can perform voluntary discomfort in a number of ways. Some suggestions are:
• Cold Showers
• NoFap
• Exercising in the morning
• Walking in the cold without a jumper
• Fasting for a day
• Sleeping on the floor
All these things will change your relationship with comfort. Once you overcome the need for comfort, life will become much easier. Setting your goals and sticking to them will be far easier. When most people complain about being ‘uncomfortable’, you won’t be able to relate. You are literally training yourself to be like a Navy Seal. This method will harden you up for life.
Eventually shit will hit the fan at some stage during your life. You want to have to mental and physical fortitude to weather the storm.
So those are the three stoic exercises. Stoicism is a practical philosophy that has survived the test of time due to its universal applications. If you practice these stoic meditations, you will be well on your way to the good life.
[deleted] 6y ago
Sleeping on the floor is mental, did that for 30 days and I just didn't GAF anymore for about a few weeks.
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zarmesan 6y ago
How does this have anything to do with redpill. This is just good advice for stoicism which is great. Nothing to do with redpill though. Redpill is shit.
itachimngkyoshrngn 6y ago
Method One: A view from above is life changing advice, thank you for the post
ldev1 6y ago
Didn't read Marcus Aurelius, but Seneca's writings were pos. Epictetus was quite good.
johntcalhoun 6y ago
I bought a freezer, one of those ones that open like a chest, and I filled it with water. 32 degrees will teach you many lessons.
CosmycDust 6y ago
"How it would feel to live in a third world country." Lol, it ain't that bad you know
KosmicKastaway 6y ago
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.
Since I was in my teenage years, I actually started doing the zooming out in 3rd person when I felt bad or things did not go my way because it made me feel better. It made me feel like what I am experiencing now is literally insignificant to the greater picture.
I am literally mind blown right now.
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notthegreatestcatch 6y ago
You desire to LIVE "according to Nature"? Oh, you noble Stoics, what fraud of words! Imagine to yourselves a being like Nature, boundlessly extravagant, boundlessly indifferent, without purpose or consideration, without pity or justice, at once fruitful and barren and uncertain: imagine to yourselves INDIFFERENCE as a power--how COULD you live in accordance with such indifference? To live--is not that just endeavoring to be otherwise than this Nature? Is not living valuing, preferring, being unjust, being limited, endeavouring to be different? And granted that your imperative, "living according to Nature," means actually the same as "living according to life"--how could you do DIFFERENTLY? Why should you make a principle out of what you yourselves are, and must be? In reality, however, it is quite otherwise with you: while you pretend to read with rapture the canon of your law in Nature, you want something quite the contrary, you extraordinary stage-players and self-deluders! In your pride you wish to dictate your morals and ideals to Nature, to Nature herself, and to incorporate them therein; you insist that it shall be Nature "according to the Stoa," and would like everything to be made after your own image, as a vast, eternal glorification and generalism of Stoicism! With all your love for truth, you have forced yourselves so long, so persistently, and with such hypnotic rigidity to see Nature FALSELY, that is to say, Stoically, that you are no longer able to see it otherwise-- and to crown all, some unfathomable superciliousness gives you the Bedlamite hope that BECAUSE you are able to tyrannize over yourselves--Stoicism is self-tyranny--Nature will also allow herself to be tyrannized over: is not the Stoic a PART of Nature? . . . But this is an old and everlasting story: what happened in old times with the Stoics still happens today, as soon as ever a philosophy begins to believe in itself. It always creates the world in its own image; it cannot do otherwise; philosophy is this tyrannical impulse itself, the most spiritual Will to Power, the will to "creation of the world," the will to the causa prima.
RPmatrix 6y ago
Wonderful post bro, thank you for taking the time to share this.
You have outlined some very useful ideas and explained their potential values. While I have been doing something very similar for much of my life, I think many of the guys here would benefit greatly from putting this advice into action, at least for a 'try'
After all, the worst 'failure' is the failure to Try' and you are the person who suffers most if you dont
aka "nothing ventured nothing gained"
Seneca is trying to evoke a sense of 'appreciation and gratittude' which is essential to avoid becoming contemptuous of what you have
And cold showers just Rock! They have numerous health benefits. I have 30-60sec ones after a good hot shower and have been since I was 16. I'm thoroughly addicted and I'm certain they have made me 'tougher' overall, mentally and physically.
And I have naturally fasted every couple of weeks for many years now, as I won't eat if I'm not hungry, and yet after about 24hrs, I begin to go into ketosis, which is an amazingly 'different' state to 'normal', a very energetic state and I can maitain it an stay 'in ketsosis' IF I eat very carefully (only fats)
but I rarely do as it's quite difficult to keep up if you like drinking coffee or having a beer/wine or eating carbs!. lol It's worth checking out, some people Love it. I think it's great but too difficult for me to maintain in a 'normal life' (well, kinda normal)
And recent scientific evidence suggests fasting a day a week helps you to stay physiologically 'younger' it's not like there's any harm done doing so! Ketosis awaits!
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suske127 6y ago
You definitely noted those three ideas in order from least important, to most important. Voluntary Discomfort is the single greatest thing you can do to make yourself more productive and lower your standards for comfort (making you relatively, way more comfortable).
I appreciate this post and the way you layed it out, with bullet points and such. Thanks for posting
[deleted] 6y ago
This is a maxime for life in one post , now close your Internet , throw your Smartphone out the window and FOLLOW THROUGH .
Stop satisfying your reward system with excessive Theory and Start ACTING , you probably know enough stoic philosophy for the Rest of your life in this post only - now continue the book of wisdom with your own chapter - itll be far More interesting .
[deleted] 6y ago
this is why I read TRP.
thank you
Geney 6y ago
I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet - unknown
AU_Alex 6y ago
This one is from Oswaldo Guyasamín, one of the most famous painters of Ecuador. I stumbled over this quote in his museum in Quito, Ecuador 3 months ago and it hit me hard.
SkippytheRooter 6y ago
Outstanding, I am doing this, thanks.
Luckylancer96 6y ago
Thx for quality post!
What can you suggest about stoicism? I planed buying meditations today. There was 2 other books which suggested too. Reading 3 of them are enough for learning ideolog's basic or should i read diffrent books/films too. Disclaimer: less book i read the better cause i m not in to reading :)
Extra question out of curiosity. Did you read u/OccamsUsername 's LTR guide? He suggest stoicism too.
HopeFarmer 6y ago
To build on this, I strongly encourage all men to actually read the entire Manual by Epictetus. I read slowly and it only took me about an hour to get through but it is 100% gold. It's on par with the Prince. It's the ultimate how to book for DGAF, following a mission, and building power. Condensed, actionable explanations like this post are great as one-off reminders to keep you on track, but they will only stick if you also commit to seriously study and pursue stoicism. If you ever find yourself skimming posts like these without thinking deeply about them or making sincere personal commitments, stop now and forever. If it's worth reading, then you better read, remember, and internalize the whole thing. If it's worth doing, you better do it. Everything counts. The contest is now.
SPREAD_THE_LOVE_7791 6y ago
This is really legit. I've always thought something along these lines but was never able to articulate it like this. Thanks.
muffinbaker 6y ago
http://classics.mit.edu/Epictetus/epicench.html
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redpillbanana 6y ago
Great stuff. I'm convinced that voluntary discomfort is the key to success. After all, all training is basically voluntary discomfort.
Once I experienced intermittent fasting, everyone else now seems like a wimp when it comes to eating. "I'm so hungry - I haven't eaten in 8 hours!" Bitch, I routinely go 20 hours without eating.
dissentforall 6y ago
I can't do the perpetual fasting. Once you get over 200lbs and are close to 10% bf or less, your body will not allow that existence for long. You'll get massive agitated over little things, can't think straight and might actually increase anxiety response.
I talked to my nutritionist about years ago, he basically said once you've formed yourself into a well trained machine, there is far less room for things like depending on fat stores to sustain you. Going from 4000 cals or more to nothing for any longer than 12hrs feels absolutely disasterous and it will fuck with your bodies ability to be proficient with explosive strength training.
Do not do this shit if you're in competitive MMA or olympic/power lifting, carb back load instead.
max_peenor 6y ago
The feeling of actual hunger, something the vast majority of Americans just never experience, just pisses me off. If I've gotten to that point, it's because I just don't have time for it. It always passes. I'll go on fasts just because I initially forgot to eat and then I just don't want to deal with it. But yeah, real hunger agitates me.
The funny thing about this is the cats. Cats? Yeah, cats. We have a couple black cats that are sisters. They get fed on a schedule, which mean sometimes they get hungry before the time. They will pester the hell out of any human available but to no avail, since if they get fed off schedule they will get even worse. When they get hungry, they get very active and will actually attack each other, as in rolling, screeching ball of hair attack. (No, they aren't hurting each other. Cats do this sort of thing.). Two minutes after being fed they are curled up in balls and sleeping the day away.
Hunger, actual hunger, is a driving force. Obviously, I'm not saying you should starve yourself, nor should you be fasting during some important physical activity or sporting event. Just remember that we are animals and all animals get very fucking motivated when one of their basic needs is wanting.
[deleted] 6y ago
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[deleted] 6y ago
LMAO
stoke the fire
Brought to you by Snickers
gowby 6y ago
Healthy snacks throughout the day are actually good for you provided you eat your main meals keeping in mind the extra calories. Not saying fasting is bad but intermittent fasting followed by shitty eating definitely is.
reddttt 6y ago
When I fast, I wake up with a hunger of seven homeless Mozambique dudes. Shit is hard but worth it.
[deleted] 6y ago
I never ever wake up hungry and coffee kills anything til lunch
reddttt 6y ago
Coffee helps me maintain my sanity until 11am but after that I have to eat or else Im certain Id invoke my nordic genes and go berserk on everything around me
[deleted] 6y ago
haha, all the best my vikebro
try and push to 1105...then 1110.....etc
Belmont_Trevor 6y ago
watch out for a Nordic beserker that is as hungry as 7 Mozambique dudes.
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[deleted] 6y ago
I can say from personal experience that voluntary discomfort works wonders. Really toughens you up and fosters an iron will. NoFap has been a struggle for me starting at the beginning of this year on and off but for some reason this most recent streak of two weeks has been machine-like and focused. Don't realistically see myself relapsing before the 90 day standard. It may largely be because of my discomfort training these past few months.
Exercising in the morning gets the blood pumping to the brain and I find myself far less groggy throughout the day. Cold showers also do this and is good for muscle recovery, as I lift heavy 4 times a week too.
And finally, sleeping on the floor on a thin pallet and quilt to cover (no pillow for me most of the time) has really improved my posture, and quality of sleep really isn't negatively impacted. If anything it slightly improves (probably due to better circulation and breathing) and it is much easier to get up in the morning.
Stoicism and voluntary discomfort to me doesn't really equate to being boring or too serious, I think a lot of people have that misconception. The main benefits I've noticed of following a Stoic-like lifestyle are essentially a renewed iron will; more logical and critical thinking; increased tolerance for pain; gratitude; keeping emotions in check at inappropriate times; among other things.
whisker17 6y ago
I personally feel energized soon after the workout, but as soon as I have a heavy breakfast, I feel lethargic the whole day until evening. Sometimes it gets so worse that I literally have to put down my head on the table and snooze for a couple of minutes. Doesn't help that I have to eat heavy, as I'm trying to gain weight.
Any advice?
[deleted] 6y ago
I'm trying to gain weight too as I am pretty skinny but I've found as long as you get enough protein (I do around 120 since I weigh 150 currently) and eat at just a slight surplus per day you still gain strength and muscle. I've been lifting for 3 months now and have put on steady gains without eating too crazy. 2500-3000 kcal per day
It also depends a lot on what kind of food you eat and how active you are after the meal (walking around a little/ keeping busy to aid digestion). If I eat for example a big bowl of oatmeal with plant milk, a vegan protein bar, and some fruit I feel far less groggy than if I eat a giant plate of eggs and toast. To me animal products bog me down a lot more than plant food but I eat both simply for convenience.
And when I mean exercise in the morning I mean running or jogging for about 15-30 minutes. The oxygenated blood does a whole lot more for wakefulness than lifting weights. I typically do that in the evening.
[deleted] 6y ago
You dont have to eat heavy immediatly after lifting and bro science would imply eating all day keeps insulin high which prevents fat loss.
Caveat.....I am applying what I learned (not read) by doing opposite. I DO feast and famine to ward off fat and maintain low insulin and high HGH
[deleted] 6y ago
How often to you fast? Do you do the 16/8 method or like an eat stop eat type thing (5 days eating, 2 days caloric restriction)?
[deleted] 6y ago
i mix it up, life happens and im not a robot. this week is slow with work and family so im eating 500 cals for 2 days, then day of maintenance
next week vacation so ill adapt
[deleted] 6y ago
I'm interested in this. Do you side sleep? Back sleeping can't be done in my world. I can't seem to find any info on the net that addresses this topic.
Marcus1138 6y ago
Personally, I've slept without pillows, and it's only possible if you sleep on your back. If you're on your side your head will be at such a weird angle you'll end up with major tension and pain. Unless you're able to sleep with your hands acting as a pillow to support your head.
If you can't sleep on your back, don't worry about it. Better to sleep with a pillow than to fuck yourself up.
electricspresident 6y ago
I got the same problem, can't back sleep. Side sleep on the floor is tricky cause sleeping on the shoulder and side arm can Hutt if they are not strong enough. But stomach sleeping is amazing. U won't get that curved arch in ur back like a bed would make it, so no lower back pain for certain. Fyi stomach sleeping is bad since ur shoulders tend to round forward thereby creating posture problems.
And yea u get up so easy from the floor , I don't even understand how this works.
[deleted] 6y ago
I also couldnt back sleep after i tried it out in , i laid awake for 2 whole nights and almost quit , but i did it with 3 important changes :
1 - Take a thin blanket and spread it out , then lay your head in the edge of the blanket and use it as a really thin pillow - then crumble the sides of the blanket till your head is completely surrounded by a kind-of resistant wall - which will prevent you from changing your Position ( sie or stomach ) / turn your head sideways in your sleep ( which is both unhealthy ) . It will also hell you to routinely adjust to keeping your head straight while sleeping .
2 - stuff a pillow under your knees whole sleeping to elevate them a little bit Ehen you just startd sleeping in your back , it is More comfortable and will help you slowly adjust .
3 - Dont sleep in your bed . Sleep in the floor , a thin blanket or the carpet . This will be a signal to your braun to engage in a New routine . It will also help your stay still cause it is not as squishy as the bed . Additionally , it is LEss comfortable and you will get up fast er in the morning .
These tips really helped me.
Also : Sleeping in your stomach is the most unhealthy , it will hurt your posture , your will geht More and fast er wrinkles and you geht less oxygen cause you cant breath good .
... And i am sorry for the grammar errors , i am german and my phone will just randomly autocorrect to gibberish cause it öd set to german . Fuck this shit .
Alpha_Buddha 6y ago
You can change your phones language to English man.
[deleted] 6y ago
Side sleep is shit on the floor, causes hip and shoulder pain if prolonged enough. Any reason you can't sleep on your back? It is the absolute best.
[deleted] 6y ago
Yeah, I figured that is why no one talks about side sleeping because it can't really be done.
I just can't stay asleep it the most uncomfortable I can be. I've been in the hospital for a month once. Tried to convert to back... it can't be done. I have trained myself to fall asleep on my back, however, but can never stay this way.
[deleted] 6y ago
Honestly that's how I was at first but then after about 5 days of forcing yourself you adapt pretty good.
[deleted] 6y ago
Thank you. I've tried. More than just that once and other than in the Hospital but I'll give it a go again. Just got done moving my mattress into the living room. In my room I now have a couple inch foam pad on top of hardwood floors. I want to work towards just a yoga mat.
[deleted] 6y ago
I should add there are some medical condition with my spine too. I'm not just complaining but was seeing if anyone side sleeps this way because nothing on the internet.
abc69 6y ago
I can't sleep on my back to save my life either... let's do it, bro. I'm taking on the challenge too.
[deleted] 6y ago
You honestly don't have to go as thin as a yoga mat to get the benefits. A couple of foam pads laid on top of hardwood or even laying on a sleeping bag is still good. Good luck in your endeavors
WolfofAnarchy 6y ago
Quick tip: NoFap + rising at 6AM + going for a run on an empty stomach + intermittent fasting + cold showers is peak voluntary discomfort. Builds character like a cheat code.
tewie5 6y ago
First time I have heard of voluntary discomfort. My life makes sense now. I get up at 4 AM every morning at work by 5:30AM until 6 PM hit the gym on a empty stomach in 38c temperatures all while living alone away from home for 7 weeks at a time. And I’m always happy! Got to up my game here! Maybe sleep on the floor for a while? Or disconnect my air conditioning?
beglez 6y ago
I am 26 and have been on a similar routine for the past months. Switched my gym time to 5.30 am and never looked back. Wake up at 5.00, go to gym to work out fasted, come back home for cold shower and big ass breakfast. Then meditate and go to work. On days off gym I still wake up at 5 am and go for a 30min jog + stretching. Then I fast until noon at work. This combined with not checking my phone during work day gives me crazy amount of energy and lazer focus to crush any task in my way. I got so used to it that I craved this regime even during my vacation.
WolfofAnarchy 6y ago
Awesome dude. How late do you go to bed and how many hours of sleep do you get on avg?
beglez 6y ago
Ideally at 21:30-22:00. I don't know how much I sleep on average because I have problems falling asleep. Even when I am exhausted I often can't fall asleep for 1 hr. Maybe I get 6-7 hrs. of sleep.
WolfofAnarchy 6y ago
Gotcha. Same here.
Best of luck to you!
pevans12 6y ago
Building blocks to making a man.
[deleted] 6y ago
You just described my experience in the Army.
spez666 6y ago
You are defining me in short but I enjoy doing it.
afkb39sdfb 6y ago
So pretty much a typical day in the Army.
WolfofAnarchy 6y ago
I've seen the betas of the betas come back from the Army, hardened, disciplined and just different.
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Nonstopas 6y ago
Sounds like some navy seal training. Sadly cant wake up early because of my shift patterns, otherwise id do what you mentioned in no time
rowlanry 6y ago
Bruh this is like an easy day for most of the military. I read that and laughed cause I dont think im crazy tough but I'm currently doing that shit almost everyday. This is like baseline discomfort. It aint even hard after the first week i promise.
Dystaxia 6y ago
Either way, if you wake up at any consistent time like clockwork and subject yourself to a stimulating yet uncomfortable routine, you'll still be building that grit.
empatheticapathetic 6y ago
I'm going to start doing this. I do most already and sleep on the floor without effort but my mind is a fucking tortured mess. I need more discomfort.
A_Bridgeburner 6y ago
Jesus really? I gotta try this sleeping on the floor business y'all are talking about
WolfofAnarchy 6y ago
Address the 'mess' too. Meditate. Mindfulness.
empatheticapathetic 6y ago
I used to meditate well but having a hard time with it at the moment.
WolfofAnarchy 6y ago
If you're going through hell, keep going!
rathyAro 6y ago
Having a hard time means you're doing work. It's like not lifting because picking up the weights is hard. That strain is what makes you grow.
SPREAD_THE_LOVE_7791 6y ago
I sometimes wonder if I'm getting trolled into a miserable life lol. Care to elaborate on the effects on your character? How long have you been doing this and what have you noticed?
vsvp815 6y ago
Some of these show you how easy it is to form good habits and how detrimental bad habits can be. Puts a lot of things into perspective. If you put yourself through a decently cold shower every morning, I can guarantee other things will seem more bearable at the least. And then a cold shower is energizing and better for your skin too.
cashmoney_x 6y ago
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA
voatgoats 6y ago
I have been doing these 3 things for years and i just had a major life shitstorm and recovered in a couple of months. a friend who was in a si.ilar situation took over a year to recover
WolfofAnarchy 6y ago
Been doing this for a bunch of months. Except for making you insanely grateful for the things in life, it made me realize how many awesome things and opportunities we allow to slide by simply because they would make us uncomfortable. As I'm typing I'm preparing to leave to Kyoto for 7 months to live and work. I don't speak Japanese nor have I ever lived on my own for more than 1 months. I took this opportunity, because I can. Not because I'm sure it'll be comfortable.
Future_Alpha 6y ago
'Men miss opportunities because they are dressed in overalls and look like work' - Mark Twain
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SPREAD_THE_LOVE_7791 6y ago
Does constant physical discomfort translate into an increased ability for social discomfort?
MC_Boom_Finger 6y ago
Contrary to what pop culture would have you believe, throughout all know history slaves not meant to be worked to death in a short period were always granted a modicum of comfort. Think about why across all cultures and times men who owned other men thought to give those enslaved some bit of respite and comfort.
A man who doesn't fear loss is a man who is impossible to control past the point he allows. If though he believes he needs something and you control it, then by extension you control him.
Belmont_Trevor 6y ago
that's false but slaves were beta, if they weren't so dumb they'd easily run away
empatheticapathetic 6y ago
It helps you stop being such a bitch about every little thing and have a more IDGAF frame.
SPREAD_THE_LOVE_7791 6y ago
These are some of the best reminders lol.
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WolfofAnarchy 6y ago
Jesus, how the hell did you get into some of these situations... I mean, that trailer is crazy.
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WolfofAnarchy 6y ago
Sounds.... Nice? Haha crazy stuff dude. I do fully agree with the gratitude thing, seeing what other ways you could've had it (but having it much better) is a powerful thing.
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WolfofAnarchy 6y ago
Good post. Actually, I just reread it. Great post. Finally a good post on something spiritual/psychological which ain't about girls and with actionable advice.
Gratitude for being alive during the greatest and safest era of Man is something everyone should have. It would cut depression in half. Taking life and it's beauties for granted is a massive waste.
[deleted] 6y ago
Enjoyed this, always appreciate something more deep than the "I-fucked-a-girl-now-rate-how-I-did" FR's and "I-didn't-read-the-sidebar" posts.
I can personally attest that when approaching a woman the 'view from above' method works wonders for avoiding the overthinking that usually comes with approach anxiety.
mpga479m 6y ago
do you have any examples in detail how to use 'view from above' to get rid of approach anxiety?
Peter_B_Long 6y ago
After you do the 'view from above' exercise, add in a 'level of boldness' method. Basically, if you are going to approach a girl, ask yourself, will you ever see her again? If you are sure you won't see her again, then ask her out boldly. Tell her, "I don't usually go out with girls with brown hair, but I'll make an exception for you". If you get rejected or shit gets awkward, so what? you're never going to see her again. I approached this mentality Saturday night at a concert. I was heading out and going to say goodbye to everyone I met. There was a HB7 and a HB8. I asked out the HB8 for a beer next week and she said yes and gave me her number. HB7 was with a beta bux friend. He left to grab a beer, and I went up to her and asked her out too for next week, she said yes. And the point is that I wouldn't of given a fuck if they had said no or harshly rejected me. Because I will never see them again so it doesn't matter how they feel about me at the end of the day right?
But if you are planning on asking someone out who you will see before (gym, dance class, church, etc.) then you want to lower your boldness and always consider, don't shit where you eat.
4juice 6y ago
I envisioned it with Google Earth and mix it up with the photo of Pale Blue Dot In between that you can just imagine stuff you see on space videos from YouTube.
[deleted] 6y ago
It's a pretty quick exercise really. Important to note that it doesn't take out the anxiety entirely. But it helps me move past it to action which is the hardest thing to do when you're shitting yourself before you make a move. What stops most guys is the panic that causes inaction.
I get nervous, the heart starts going and I get sweaty palms. So I just, in my mind, visualize myself in 3rd person from above, then back out to myself inside the building, then the block, then the city, then the town, zooming out like you're flying above yourself looking down. Continent, earth, solar system etc. The purpose of this is to put into a picture how fucking insignificant you are, and that your actions are largely irrelevant in the bigger universe. So if we're just a fart in the wind, what point is there in NOT approaching this woman I'm attracted to? Even if it goes terrible, I'll still be here stinking the place up and nothing will really change.
So I then approach, do my thing and if I bomb I bomb. Regardless, the sun still rises and sets and I'm still here. Sometimes, one bitch richer. Mostly though, one more thing to laugh at myself about later.
dissentforall 6y ago
Just have to be careful to avoid existential spirals if you're prone to high ordered thinking and depression.
Still a fantastic method to give insight into the futility of anciexty
Darpenex 6y ago
Hi, I'm late as fuck to this, I hope you can still lend a hand.
Got a solution to this? I like the idea of thinking that you're insignificant to make decisions above easier, but do you happen to have an example that's a little more suited to me having the above issue?
Cheers
Abackwardsninja 6y ago
Im not the commenter guy but speaking from experiencing shitty existential dread myself, I'm assuming he's just saying that if you do have a tendency to feel hopeless or are prone to depressing thoughts, the "view from above" approach might trigger some shit. Imo it's healthier to accept the fragility of life in a more humbling perspective rather than from a disabling one. Common discipline routines (cold showers n waking up early), as annoying as they are, really do help with this shit a lot. Life doesn't always have to be so serious really, if you don't let it. Anyways, g'night god bless ya
JimGusa 6y ago
Reminds me of one of my favorite grateful dead lyrics. It's from the song Black Peter which is about a man laying bed dying. At one point he says, "See here how everything Lead up to this day And it's just like Any other day That's ever been Sun goin up And then the Sun it goin down."
The point I think it makes is that we think of our death as a big dramatic event, when in reality that day will be just like any other day and when we die the sun still going up and then it goin down. When you realize that even our deaths are that insignificant, saying hi to that cute girl at Starbucks is a piece of cake.
afkb39sdfb 6y ago
I find picturing them on the toilet taking a gross farty dump works too. Brings them back down to the level of just another person in your mind.
CosmycDust 6y ago
Works on everybody, not just girls, I can confirm
mnemos_1 6y ago
Good luck suppressing a giggle while chatting to them though - though I guess the permanent smile would help the approach.
xeneize93 6y ago
Wow that does fucking work
whuttupfoo 6y ago
Here's another way to get some discomfort in. It's extreme but Iguarantee it will get you where you want to be a lot faster.
Cut everything out that has nothing to do with your goals. That means Reddit (relevant subreddits are okay), old friends that don't benefit your career path or happiness, TV, food for the sake of temporary dopamine hits (sweets, shit that isn't beneficial for you), Drinking, going out for the sake of picking up girls (go out to improve your social skills which translates to business), overindulging in sex (ONS more than anything).
Cut out any and everything that has nothing to do with your dream. goal.
Timstertimster2 6y ago
My dram is to party all week and hook up with chix, and I love to chill binge watching TV while eating gummy bears and drawing rental income, so your plan isn't gonna work for me,
Shakydrummer 6y ago
Great post OP. That's how I've always looked at things in life - I've always found it so fascinating how two people can stand beside each other and live in entirely different realities. One person may be hurting, the other may be on their way to go enjoy an amazing day. Same thing goes - while you're relaxing, somewhere in the world, or even your next door neighbour, may be dealing with something that's entirely different from the reality you're living in.
More so what I took from it is, doesn't matter what you're dealing with, good or bad, the world keeps turning, so you have to turn with it for better or for worse.
poorBEE333 6y ago
By these three excersise. Ive realized im subconciously a stoic. Or a masochit.
Darkunicorntribe 6y ago
I can truly attest to the value of practicing uncomfort. I've been sleeping on the floor for two months. Now I get quality sleep just about anywhere.
Imperial_Ova 6y ago
Absolutely needed to combat the insane amount of shitposts we've had recently.
Thanks. Your three suggestions are splendid. Sidebar material.
wendysNO1wcheese 6y ago
Absolutely. Fantastic. Not too long, to the point, practical. This is the recipe for a good post.
WolfofAnarchy 6y ago
"I'M CONSIDERING MGTOW CUZ I'M NOT A 9+. IF I DON'T GET PUSS WHAT IS LIFE"
Fucking hell, this post hit me and my morning coffee like the first cold breeze in August.
Amazing post, OP.
VegasSaint9 6y ago
Man I wonder what a cold breeze in August feels like
WolfofAnarchy 6y ago
The first one feels exceptional
[deleted] 6y ago
For real. We don't get a first cold breeze until November if then.
isaiahexe 6y ago
Like a slightly less warm than usual burst of air during the month after July.
I_WRESTLE_BEARS 6y ago
I read that in the voice of Captain Holt from "Brooklyn Nine Nine".
[deleted] 6y ago
It feels like the world is going to be cold as fuck for the next 6-9 months up in the midwest! Fuck I hate winter!
dissentforall 6y ago
you could come to Canada and feel the cold winds blow off the ocean all year long lol
[deleted] 6y ago
Friends don't let friends go to Canada bud!
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ioncehadsexinapool 6y ago
I MGTOW simple because I'm an artist that works 40+ hours a week and what free time I have left after chores and grocery shot and working out is spent doing art stuff
afkb39sdfb 6y ago
People seem to have found the "disagree" button. If you enjoy and are happy with your life, do your thing.
ioncehadsexinapool 6y ago
These guys feel threatened because I'm not totally occupied with getting laid. Poor dudes
SoulRedemption 6y ago
Nope. Not even close. You are being told to do your thing.
SocialJusticeWhiner 6y ago
Our mod team is very good at deleting garbage content but the users have to report it because there's just too much content for them to sift through.
richard944 6y ago
Fuck that noise I dont want to lose all these gainz
indecencies 6y ago
Fasting won't make you lose gains, lol. If anything, it'd help with them (as long as you don't just fast until you die or some shit). It promotes testosterone and growth hormone.
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sezamus 6y ago
After military bootcamp and Woodstock Festival I understood, that all I need to be almost fully happy are: full belly, comfortable bed, clean bathroom. Things, like a good tea or coffee, are skyrocketing my mood.
Negative visualization is very powerful.
mlforthebest 6y ago
Thank you man! You really got me thinking deep.
I also had a pretty difficult day, you made me realize how silly and narrow-minded our negative thoughts can be.
Really appreciate you making this post, thank you!
tat_guy_says_what 6y ago
Thank you for making this sub worthy of a random ready. Upvote for you.
Bibliophile777 6y ago
Amazing practical post OP, thanks for this information. I am kind of working on this as I already live in a third world country (El Salvador) and is not so bad as many people think, we can be in a way better situation, that's for sure.
Again, good post.
dontbedenied 6y ago
Can someone please elaborate on what it would mean to "lose social status"? Does this mean becoming an outcast of society based on doing something (or accused of doing something) that is reviled?
McDrMuffinMan 6y ago
I've been looking for something just like this, thank you. Do you have any other reading or influential materials you'd recommend?
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Wannabe1437 6y ago
Rather new here and i find it really awesome when i find out that i have been applying some of these aspects in my life already. Can't wait to practice them all and just get on a whole different level!
Mr_Talent 6y ago
Great post, however I would like to ask you if you could explain in more detail how you apply these 3 technics on your daily routine!?
Do you start your morning with 10 minutes meditating where you apply the 1st method? Do you then jump into the tub and take a cold shower to apply the 3rd method? Where do you fit the 2nd?
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empatheticapathetic 6y ago
I get a better sleep on the floor and now rarely sleep on a bed. It is underrated.
Mr_Talent 6y ago
Thanks for the reply man! That was nice to read even though it's on a level of discipline which I don't have in order to be able to follow.
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jurguenklomiken 6y ago
Good post.
The first method is also used in meditation.
Bangerzigzag 6y ago
Will try to implement this in my life
bama79rolltide 6y ago
Certified, bad ass, monk mode. Well versed. Way to lead by example, and properly documenting your experience. Great post.
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SamuraiPizzaCatz 6y ago
Video made me want to kill myself more than anything.
Urzo 6y ago
Thank you OP. Im currently having a relapse and this is the kind of material I've been looking for.
bitchple7se 6y ago
Finally something that's not about girls for once
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[deleted] 6y ago
In present-day English, the term Third World is used in reference to "the developing countries of Asia, Africa and Latin America."
The term usually suggests poverty and low level of industrial development and thus it is the opposite of the term developed nations.
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UncleSniffy 6y ago
not an asshat at all, we need to look at things for what they are instead of placing blanket judgement on them. I learned something new, that's important
[deleted] 6y ago
Checked out your profile. Man I'd love to visit Morocco.
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WolfofAnarchy 6y ago
Is it a safe country (compared to Chicago where I'm at)? I'd love to visit one day.
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WolfofAnarchy 6y ago
Gotcha, sounds alright! Thanks.
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burnyr 6y ago
Great post, thanks for this. I'll try it out
wildozure 6y ago
Sounds like being an infantryman
LatenightVader 6y ago
Well... some of us do live in third world countries
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shinslap 6y ago
Isn't sleeping on the floor something you'd just get used to? And fasting can dangerous. Not from starvation but it messes up your pancreas if you do it too much.
That's what did Steve Jobs in.Edit: apparently that's not what did Steve Jobs in.
yes_we_can_t 6y ago
Quit your bullshit. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Jobs#Health_issues
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Volt52121 6y ago
Can you provide more details on the first exercise how exactly I should approach it? Like the mental ques that you would use to zoom yourself out? How do you stay calm in unhappy situations and direct your mind to gain that third person perspective?
0xdada 6y ago
This is a great post.
If you add this to lifting, reading the sidebar, and focusing on getting really good at something you like, it's like insta-TRP. I've done this for a couple of years as well and 6 months of the OP's method will transform your perspective.
pct92 6y ago
Thank you for taking the time to write this post out. Great job and very informative. I will be applying some of these to my life. ????
EumenesOfEfa 6y ago
Thank you for this inspiring post! I have seen far too few of these in the last few days.
SuwinTzi 6y ago
If i remember correctly, Stoicism was mandatory for the Roman legions. Helped them being the feared fighting force that they were.
RickNew 6y ago
Thanks. Reminds me of related exercises in the Tibetan Gelugpa tradition. (PDF) http://www.scientificastrology.net/siteassistpro_images/Turning%20Happiness%20&%20Suffering%20into%20the%20Path.pdf
Also, another related approach https://www.amazon.com/You-Must-Change-Your-Life/dp/074564922X/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1502144774&sr=8-2&keywords=you+must+change+your+life
RedPilledGodEmperor 6y ago
Great post and I actually saved it, which I don't normally do.
daveylp 6y ago
This is dope thank you for sharing this
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im_dat_bear 6y ago
I'm curious, from my understanding stoicism is based upon the belief that all or lives are predetermined, and that everything we do happens because it was always intended to happen. I like the idea of just living in the moment and enjoying life as it comes, but why is the idea that we can never escape our "planned route" comforting? Or am I just completely off base here?
tallwheel 6y ago
I don't personally believe that determinist thinking is necessarily necessary to be stoic. Events may not necessarily be pre-ordrained, but you can't change things that have already occurred. You have to accept them. I think coming at it from that perspective works fine too.
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im_dat_bear 6y ago
Sure, I can definitely appreciate that sentiment. Is there ever a sense of "why bother" when it comes to trying to better a situation though? I just feel like it could breed a lot of apathy if everyone believes that nothing can be changed anyways.
HopeFarmer 6y ago
You don't actually have to believe that everything is literally deterministic. It's mainly about acceptance. The core principle is really that your judgments and desires don't change things so on some level you need to accept reality. Obviously some things are predetermined like the fact that you and your loved ones will die. You can accept that and appreciate them while they're here, or you can lie to yourself and get sad when they do. You don't have to believe that everything is pre-ordained; you just need to be honest with yourself so you don't get sucked into wishing for something that you know isn't real.
im_dat_bear 6y ago
As soon as you mentioned how loved ones dying is a certainty, a bit of a lightbulb went off in my head. I had never thought about it as simply accepting the painful truths. Thanks for the insight.
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thebearsage 6y ago
Great post, I look forward to being uncomfortable. Ryan Holiday's book The Daily Stoic is a great read if anyone is looking to learn about practicing stoicism.
jjliberman 6y ago
The obstacle is the way is an incredible book
[deleted] 6y ago
Sidebar material if there ever was sidebar material.
TRP may have gone downhill recently but here you are, OP, dragging us in your shoulders back to the fucking roots. Thank you sir.
PillTheRed 6y ago
Even most CBT uses these same idea that we have known for millennia. I forget the Drs name, but he was one of the original founders of CBT, and wrote a book called, feeling good the new mood therapy. David Burns is his name, just looked it up. Anyways, he argues that depression and mental illness is becoming so prevalent now because we don't teach how to think about life, like the ancient Greeks and Romans did. He heavily relies on the teachings of Epictetus, a Greek philosopher who's teachings are very close to other stoic teachings. Anyways, they say that negative emotions and depression are not caused by the things that happen to us, but by the way we CHOOSE to think about them. Think sarte, existence precedes essence. You can't have an emotion or feeling about something, without having thought about it first. If you can stop negative thoughts in their tracks, you can get rid of a lot of negative and self defeating thoughts.
An exercise that he has people do in his clinical practice, is first by having them talk about their problems. Then, you get out the ol pen and paper, and start identifying the illogical thoughts. If someone were to say, I'm a failure, which I'm guilty of myself simply because I'm a perfectionist. Then, write down your accomplishments to identify that you probably have accomplished some things, and saying otherwise is illogical.
An example. I play drums, and am actually really good after twenty or so years. But, I'm not the best in the world. So I would think, if I'm not going to be famous for my playing, what's the point? This is a perfect time to get out the pen and paper and start writing. I camd up with, I'm not a failure because I'm not the greatest drummer to ever live. The reasons I play, are because I enjoy it. I'm actually a lot better than most people who play. I've gotten laid more times than I can count after shows. It has helped me make good friends I otherwise would have never known. Up for debate, but I personally believe learning an instrument is a positive and productive use of free time. Especially over playing video games or watching tv.
So, and again, the stoics and Marcus aerullius are right. Life is more how you look at it, than simply what happens to you. Hopefully, someday our education system can get back to teaching this kind of thing. As it is very simple, but priceless to internal happiness.
The book is kind of hokey. But and however, I think they were on the right track as far as the overall tone and information. It was written before CBT became popular. Actually, Dr Burns, who previously believed depression and anxiety were chemical I'm balances in people brains started practicing this stuff, and saw it was far more effective than medications. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feeling_Good:_The_New_Mood_Therapy
Protesilaus2501 6y ago
Perspective and choice do not naturally occur at the moment between stimulus and response. Only after cultivating self-discipline can one hold their hand in the box long enough to prove themselves human.
Fear is the mindkiller.
heartofgraknil 6y ago
Quality stuff. This is why I subscribe.
biggerbetterjobs 6y ago
Another exercise I like to do personally that helps with letting go of attachments and comfortable situations.. You look at people in shit circumstances or you perhaps find yourself in one.. But you look around you and see other people there too or people who have even got themselves out of that situation.
Then if you're able bodied and able minded you say to yourself "Hey they lived it. No reason why I can't get through this too."
Having this thought in my head helps me let go of any emotional attachment I may have to a situation.
For example: You get arrested drunk driving. Yeah that sucks and you're a fucking idiot, but you learned your lesson and won't do it again. Plenty of people have been arrested for drunk driving, get dragged through the system and fix their mistakes. It's not fun but you can deal with it one way or another just like the thousands of others who have. Instead of getting stressed and having anxiety/depression over the situation, cope and plow forward.