The Red Pill was never meant to be a Purgatory in which men stay permanently confused or angry after they find it. However, many men who find it simply do not understand what it is supposed to be no matter what they read about it; so, they become stuck in between the space of being Red Pill unaware and true Red Pill acceptance.
The Red Pill is merely a Praxeology for the intersexual dynamics of men and women: in short, the study of human action and behavior (in so far as it pertains to sexual strategy and the downstream effects of it on the broader culture and male identity).
That is all The Red Pill is supposed to be. It is nothing more; nothing less, for the most part.
There is no "correct" trajectory for using Red Pill as it is a toolbox and not an ideology. I find that the men who get stuck in a state of non-progress or despair after finding The Red Pill fall into a state of Red Pill Purgatory – a plane of mental existence described by partial awareness but inadequate RP comprehension:
Many men who find The Red Pill get stuck somewhere in the Denial and Anger phase of unplugging, just short of Bargaining and far short of Acceptance. The process of becoming Red Pill aware is similar to the 5 stages of grief and that it's not supposed to be a place of infinite demoralization about the gynocentric social order. When men do get stuck on this phase, his Anger Phase turns to Black Pill thinking and gender sperging.
For those unfamiliar with the Kübler-Ross five stages of grief model, the process is as follows when one experiences grief or exposure to intense realization in 5 sequential stages: denial > anger > bargaining > depression > acceptance.
This was similarly written about by Whisper in his The Five Stages of Red Pill, and how to read r/TRP textposts essay
The Red Pill aware man who finds himself in Red Pill Purgatory with a profound sense of sadness and apathy is not deeply despaired because he has reached the depression phase of the Five Stages of Red Pill; but rather is sad from the intense anger burnout of his off-the rails Anger Stage and lack of self-purpose outside of female validation – female validation he may have never even had prior to and after finding The Red Pill.
His anger phase never reaches the Bargaining Stage of unplugging because he refuses to figure out what he needs to do to adjust after the allure of the Disney fantasy ends. Instead of reaching the Bargaining Stage of grief (which is its own turbulent journey of dispelling misconceptions and impossibilities), he is subsumed by his Anger Stage into quitting the game altogether by going full Black Pill or extreme MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way).
This isn’t Red Pill unplugging, but rather a defeated self-indulgence and self-pity derived from only half-unplugging from the Matrix and failing to see how Red Pill awareness actually benefits a man.
The Acceptance Stage of Red Pill thinking is supposed to be FREEING, not depressing:
Acceptance: "Women aren't bad. My expectations of them, and theirs of me, were based on faulty premises. They are creatures of instinct, just like I am... but of different instincts. If I learn what those instincts are, and teach them about mine, we can develop realistic expectations of each other and get along just fine."
~Whisper
The Black Pill is the ultimate Red Pill Purgatory, because these kind of men obsess about Chad’s success, female promiscuity and hypergamous inclinations to the utmost extreme and ultimate conclusions.
He focuses ad nauseum on the most depressing manopshere content and gender rage bait that he can get his hands on. He essentially defaults to giving up on himself and on women entirely for reasons that are actually within his control, but that he refuses to accept as being largely within his control.
The Black-Piller seeks refuge in his self-indulgent anger instead of improving his stature in life because it is his dopamine hit of choice that is far easier – though far less rewarding – than putting in any actual substantive risk and effort to better himself and attain realistic standards.
I don’t entirely blame the source of why many Black Pill men are in Red Pill Purgatory because they have entered the workforce, dating landscape, and adulthood in a world where they lack much of the social and financial power that Boomers – and to an extent Gen X – got to enjoy before stripping Millennials and Zoomers of the very same opportunities they had.
The generations before these men achieved this socioeconomic destruction of the average male potential through voting for representation that passed various atrocious policies that shifted the landscape in favor of a dysphoric gender role hellscape of affirmative action and immigration initiatives that have dismantled many male-dominant roles in favor of diversity incentives over merit-driven placement.
Additionally, in the span of the last decade and half, most young men have experienced the post-dating app and #MeToo movement that destroyed many men’s willingness to even approach or engage in intimacy with women out of fear of false accusation. It is not hard to see why the average newly Red Pill aware man without much success spirals into Black Pill thinking, especially and particularly if he is also not successful with women.
Apex and masculine men do – after all – play by different rules and to the average man that reality is near-completely beyond their realm of comprehension. They do not have much success with women, even though it is more than possible to succeed with women and people without much power. Look at the average game success that any broke and unemployed alcoholic on probation who has always struggled to hold down a job has with women if you need any proof that the right frame of mind can still get results.
So, regardless of what obstacles men endure today, it is is still faulty thinking to default to a such a state of defeatism and fail to unplug all the way with the abundance of knowledge available online or otherwise on how to do so.
The thing is, one of the ultimate end stages of Red Pill acceptance is loving women for who they are and not who they can never be. Red Pill unplugging is supposed to free men from the burden of Disney fantasies that women will never live up to and for men to rely on themselves whilst maximizing their own sexual strategy.
If fate so happens, Red Pill knowledge serves to allow men to potentially meet a woman who fits within the purview of realistic but higher expectations of feminine polarity that is in accordance with realistic expectations and a peaceful life with a woman that meets HIS needs and standards.
Men want to be treated awesome by someone okay. Girls want to be treated okay by someone awesome.
~Whisper
What Red Pill is Supposed to Be:
The Red Pill is supposed to teach men to prioritize themselves and their own journey as men, while accepting women as they are; not what they once wished women to be.
It is supposed to teach a peak end point of male sexual strategy to get your shit together and to be happy on your OWN terms, all the while having realistic and complementary expectations of women.
It is supposed to teach men that women should be accessory and complementary components to their lives and not the prize of their lives. That women are supposed to be along the for the ride and not the destination. That women are supposed to be the first mate to their lead as the captain.
The only way to get out of Red Pill Purgatory is to understand that The Red Pill is a Praxeology and a toolbox for success and awareness-based strategy, not a reason to hopelessly crash out into obscurity. You are meant to fully unplug with Red Pill awareness, not get angry and give up.
You are a Man. Use your agency and natural competitive drive to your advantage in this world. Use the Red Pill tools and awareness available to you – and use them correctly – to build your own personal empire in the image of your choosing instead of becoming another male statistic.
Hell, use your Red Pill awareness to keep yourself away from bad women and make yourself available to better women instead of getting upset at all of them for unrealistic standards you grew up believing in.
The ultimate stage of Red Pill awareness is to love women for who they are, not who they can never be.
The Red Pill is a Praxeology. It was never meant to be a Purgatory.
~Vermillion
GeorgeIII 9h ago
Great write up Verm. Too many people are stuck in the anger phase, though it is a necessary step.
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My only major add is that many of the purgatory people on here and in the world are not at all black pill. I’ll get to examples further in this reply.
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The Black Pill is originally derivative from the red pill. It too comes from the idea that society lies to us and that the rules are different from the ones that are taught. Men are often told that just being yourself, and being nice to women will get you the relationship of your dreams. That men working hard alone will guarantee success in multiple life domains. Which is obviously not true. In this “awakening” to a harsh truth, red and black are the same.
The way I see it, Black Pill IS an ideology (with some actionable advice), while red pill is a praxeology. The 3 main themes I see in Black Pill, mostly not shared in red pill praxeology. Note that I do not necessarily agree with the takes below, though I do believe they have some truth.
1: Lookism: the idea that you are primarily, or even entirely, judged by what you look like. Believing that looks are all that matters is why Black Pillers are less focused on learning game. After all, Chad isn’t Chad because he’s 5,6”, balding, and has acne.
Lookism also applies to other parts of life outside of mating and dating, like jobs/career, making male friends, and how kindly you are treated in general. Lookism is also the origin of Looksmaxxing; if all my outcomes are determined primarily by my looks, then I should primarily focus on improving my appearance. Which, whether you believe is correct or not, is at least a logical conclusion from the premise.
2: Genetic determinism: the idea that all your outcomes in life are determined by your genetics. This is where the “it never began” line comes from, usually from short/ugly/autistic men. Black Pillers believe nature is much more important than nurture.
3: Fatalism in general: Black Pill ideology also subscribes to a fatalistic philosophy. This has 2 parts in the definition. First, all things in the universe are already determined; we just don’t know what all the outcomes are. Second, there is nothing you as an individual can do, as the system itself is broken. So the only way to get a better outcome is to change the system. (Force women to remain chaste, ration out wives, ban hypergamy, end college indoctrination, etc.) Since you as an individual cannot change the system, you often choose to give up.
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In general, I see two different types of Black Pillers.
There are the ones who looksmax and make that their primary mission. These people have not given up on getting laid, but are generally averse to other ways of improving their outcomes with women, like learning game or social skills. People who do engage in looksmaxxing may do any of the following: go to the gym, get nicer haircuts and clothes, have a regular skin care routine, get cosmetic surgery. This group is similar to stage 3: bargaining. They wish to improve their looks even if it’s annoying or difficult in order to get laid or find a GF.
The other type of Black Piller is the one who gives up and is resigning themself to inceldom. This may be for a variety of reasons: approach anxiety, bad past experiences, extremely bad genetics like being 5’4” or deformed, laziness, etc. For whatever reason, this group has decided it is not possible or not worth the effort to looksmax, let alone do anything else to improve their outcomes. This group is similar to red pill stage 4: depression, but without any success to speak of. They are depressed and want out of the sexual marketplace.
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Why the fuck am I writing this? Because in reality, a lot of Black Pillers who DO looksmax share much in common with Red Pillers. They both are aware that looks matter, hence why many in both groups go to the gym and choose to improve their wardrobes. They are both aware that women like tall, handsome, lean men. They are also both aware of concepts like betabuxxing, and both are aware that single moms are… not the best choice for a serious relationship. That younger women will choose Chad or whoever early in life and then get desperate later in life.
Where they differ is in their approach to other aspects of women and life in general. The Red Piller will typically be focused on building a life purpose and learning social dynamics as well, while rejecting aspects of looksmaxxing like cosmetic surgery and skin care. The looksmaxxing Black Piller will be much more focused on, well, looks, but often at the detriment of finding a great life purpose or learning to game women.
You can think of a Red Piller as being an RPG player with a moderately leveled character who understands the game’s mechanics well and can win like that. While the looksmaxxing Black Piller is an RPG character who has maxed out stats but does not understand game mechanics very well. Both are, of course, better than having low stats and no understanding of the game.
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Many of the people here who are in red pill purgatory on this forum are not Black Pill at all. Frankly, many of them are just clueless. There isn’t any thought about lookism, or giving up, or any of that. They just “don’t get it” for whatever reason, whether they are still in denial, autistic, or just plain retarded.
A few examples of recent posts of this type: https://www.forums.red/p/asktrp/325499/met_this_girl_at_a_family_friendly_festival_what_does_this_b https://www.forums.red/p/asktrp/325508/where_do_i_draw_the_line_when_it_comes_to_an_ltrs_boundaries
In both posts, the OP is just not getting it. It’s not red, it’s not black, they just don’t get it. Whatever the reason. Nothing about giving up, no lookism, just straight up not understanding game or women whatsoever. Even if they say red pill words like “frame” or “low body count”, there is no practical understanding of what to do with this knowledge.
I generally believe this type of person is exactly what Verm is describing in this post. Someone who would be better off never finding the red pill, as they can’t actually swallow it and apply anything from it correctly. Just sperging in and out of delusion, a maze of mirrors which they walked into. This type is beyond help. Choking on the pill until they either swallow it or die at age 70.
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And of course, we have some people on here who do fit into the Black Pill doomer mindset, the type that has given up or is close to it, believing there is nothing they can do.
Examples: https://www.forums.red/p/asktrp/325541/how_do_i_make_it_easy_to_fix_my_life_and_difficult_to_ruin_i https://www.forums.red/p/asktrp/325528/32_yo_and_stuck_with_a_faulty_mind
No offense to these OPs. I honestly believe that both are suffering from mental health issues. That’s a common outcome from not believing at all in self-agency as a man.
I put their posts on here only to show an example of someone who doesn’t believe they have control over their situation. I actually have more faith in this type to fix their situation. At least they know they have a problem, though believing you are defeated before you start certainly doesn’t help.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 5h ago
This is a good and insightful comment, I think the black pill summary could quite honestly be its own post with minimal edits
My post was originally about both archetypes of red pill purgatory: the black piller and the perma sperg who seeks out red pill wizardry and pussy password but the post was too long with it
I think my next post will be the stuff I took out of it because yes there are multiple purgatory types at different stages of Red Pill unplugging. I just thought this was the most distinct of the paths so I stuck with the concept for black pill which is the most despairing of them all
Purple pill being a bargaining stage purgatory of sorts but that is also for another post another time.
The red pill sperg is in his own purgatory of sorts but not because of anger, but because he is socially foolish and wants pussy password
As for black pill and looksmaxx I think these guys ultimately draw the wrong conclusions so their acceptance stage of their own path is just over acceptance of people desiring attractive mates and they never "level up" their other stats in relationships or anything worthwhile for their happiness
It becomes a vanity pill and overemphasizes the sexual strategy of appearance, ironically to the point they destroy their looks and health with modifications and chemicals
They never really reach acceptance of how people broadly think and behave long term. The blackpiller essentially stays in red pill purgatory no matter how long they tread that path because it fundamentally avoids acceptance of what people seek out as a whole.
Sure everyone would like to be banging as attractive people as possible and to an extent them noticing that isn't wrong but it underscores that most people can't get or keep such people at all or for long. Even most women understand they will get pumped and dumped by selecting mates based on as attractive as they can fuck
The black piller doesn't really care for this as they claim the fact looks were desired as such in the first place is evidence that they can never be liked or loved. But it's not how people think. People don't only go by looks.
Look at any high status guy who could be banging models who is in a long term relationship with a more average looking woman and by choice for proof of that.
He could be banging models even if he doesn't look like one, but he chooses not to because people are dynamic and complex creatures with many different needs and wants and black pillers doom spiral on a limited range of traits
And unlike the blue pill, which is all lies, the black piller is very hard to unplug because his pill is based on truths. Their ideology is based on truth, except overfocus on specific truths and not overall dynamics. So it is hard to dispell them from mostly objective observation for their observations are rooted in some form of hard truth
A lot of women would leave their relationships for a rich hawt guy or seek that out in the first place (truth) but the part that isn't true is that any woman can get that for more than a one night stand. Most can't and know it. That is inconsequential to the black piller because so long as women would if they could that's enough for the black piller to fixate on it, whereas the red piller says: "I want to be that kind of guy for myself, if I find a woman from that that's cool"
The black piller thinks in absolutes, the red piller thinks in context
There is overlap but they are fundamentally different modes of thinking the deeper you get into either path
GeorgeIII 3h ago
I’ll look at editing the reply to make a more comprehensive explanation of the black pill. I think it’s actually a good topic, as despite red pillers’ hesitancy to accept black pill takes, they often do overlap and are based in brutal truths of this world. The black pill, is, after all, a derivative of the red one.
And in case you are wondering, the black pillers who are anti-red pill have their own disagreements with and caricatures of red pillers. Some of which include…
The idea that improving yourself financially or in career to improve your chances with women is a parallel to betabuxxing. Even if not done for a specific woman, it can be done in an attempt to flex wealth and shares some parallels.
The idea that Chad is just confident because he already has success with women, and that game and confidence are entirely performative. Which is partly true. It’s easy to be confident when you already are successful.
Performative masculinity in general. Examples on this forum include: framemaxxing (like you’ve already written about), talking about being alpha and not beta, and giving LARP advice like “go fuck 10 other women” or “go to the gym bro, girls like muscular men”.
The idea that women are so cooked and useless, that it just doesn’t make sense to do all this self-improvement. Why grind for 10 years starting from inception at age 21 just to get a mid 4/10 washed up 30 year old woman who has taken a mile of dick. If you are going to work hard, the payout should be something better.
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It might actually be interesting to do a series on all the major “pills”. Blue, red, black, white, and pink come to mind.