Been in a new LTR for coming up to a year now.
Still finding it hard to come to deal with the unknown body count of a my new girl. From being in a LTR from 17 to 26 with a girl who’s body count I can count with one hand to now getting back into one in at 28 years old knowing that in England no girl has got a body count lower than 10 in there 20s. It BUGS me, any past stories I hear about holidays and location she has been I get thinking how she racked up thst notch count. Am I being stupid thinking this and that I’m going to find a girl with less then 10 body’s in todays age. I know my knew girl must be on atleast on 20’ man since she travelled for 5 years! Everything else about her is legit and can’t fault her apart from this!!
Am I fucking up my future going ahead with this girl. Bear in mind I have a son who is 5 who I have 3 nights a week. So my prospective on things now are a lot more wholesome then before, not slaying them hood rats like i used to. As I’ve had 2 years of pure fun, the right one has seem to come about with searching for it. She’s a decent girl apart from this!…
There always one flipping thing that lets them down I guess.
Let me know what you guys thinks.
It’s something we all have to deal with I guess. But I can’t help but strive for perfection. Yes If I had it my way I would want her to be a virgin lol. But we have to be realistic.
Many thanks brothers
Intrepid_Place53900 1 2y ago
You will never know body count. Many guys here may believe they know their girls count or very close to it. Maybe , and maybe way way off. Girls change over the years from the hoe phase, to LTR's.
Keep your finances separate. I made that mistake once, never again.
Keep yourself in good shape , have options.
If she's adding value to your life, if she's not keeping your from reaching goals. Seems like it's good.
keep life interesting
Jakeyg 2y ago
Appreciate that!
Always keep my fiances separate but I also fucked up in the past. I bought a house with my now ex and she bought me out. Didn’t loose much but was not cool.
Going forward I now have my own place that I own and live by myself. My new girl keeps hinting she wants to move in. How do I deflect this as long as possible before it’s a deal breaker?
Intrepid_Place53900 1 2y ago
Assuming you actually want her very long term.
You never know a girls true personality until you've been with them 1+ years, have been in tough situations together and have actually lived together. what I'm getting at is, personality can be faked, some are real good at it. Girls who do that, want something, typically your resources.
In my case, I'm older, probably older than your father. So, I've been married, I have kids (grown). I let my girl know, marriage is never gonna happen. My money is mine, yours is yours, we split living costs. If she wants a provider, she can go get one.
you guys are young, so are kids on the table? That makes things tough. With kids, marriage gives you more rights as a father, but also more risk. Not sure how England is on that stuff, read up on it if you haven't and common law marriage and such. In the USA, common law marriage is thankfully going away, most states don't recognize it.
Tell her you want a partner, so, you expect to share expenses. Have her pay rent,etc. Again, if you make a lot more than her, it's going to be tough. For example, I make good money. I want to enjoy life, travel, etc. Things that typically cost some money. I want my girl to pay her share. So, she needs to make enough to be able to do that. If I make $150K and she made $50K, that's not gonna work too well.
then, if you plan on or want kids, well that throws everything out the door. And, you may not want them, But, ooops, mistakes happen, sometimes they aren't mistakes also. Not joking about that, if you don't want them, get fixed.
Lone_Ranger 2 2y ago
travelled for 5 years? I know for sure that average English girls rack up huge numbers just on a one week vacation to Ibiza. Just hanging out in london, women under 25 probably go through about 10-20 guys a year. That's probably average in college as well. a guy a month is not very much in modern England. So... if shes 28, that body count could easily be 120, and she wouldn't even consider herself 'a slut'. If she started really late in life, at 18 and she is now 28 that's 10 years at 1 new guy per month, its 120. Nobody would really even consider that slutty these days. Most young english women don't consider sleeping with say, 2 different guys in one night slutty. The wouldn't think that its slutty to go to Ibiza for a week and sleep with 5 guys in a single week. So 1 per month would be considered 'moderate'.
I think that's just how it is. We have to be grown up about it. Women sleep around until they get tired of it or until the sexual market place gets tired of them. That's the only limiting factor.
There's no point in judging them - if we could get laid as easily as women can get laid, we'd be sleeping with 120 women a year and then settle down at 30 with a body count of over 1,000.
Intrepid_Place53900 1 2y ago
(there's no point in judging them)
If a girl shows any signs of being a hoe in the past, I sure do judge them. But, in reality , I make the same set of expectations and limits on all of them at this point. I always assume they are a hoe as there's no proving otherwise.
if I don't believe she's giving me her best, time to move on.
Jakeyg 2y ago
Yep, the horrible truth. So are you imply I over look it and just be aware of any other red flags ? As it’s going to be same.
Lone_Ranger 2 2y ago
You have to adapt to the world we are living in. Trying to find a woman in the UK who has got a low body count will drive you to insanity. The only women I can think of in the UK with a low body count would be either very ugly, very religious or neurotic (or a combination of all three). I would suggest you don't want any of that. if you meet a UK woman who is attractive and is claiming to have a low body count, I suspect that is total bullshit. It's easy to pretend.
The lowest body count women you will find in the UK are ones that get married early and then spend ten years married, and then get divorced. But its very rare for middle class women to get married early, it almost never happens before college. The average age of marraige is something like 33 now, and it would be higher for educated high income women. So the body count at 33 is going to be triple figures.
The uk is quite unlike anywhere I have ever been in the world, and I've travelled a lot. In many of the smaller cities and towns, there is nothing to do on Friday and Saturday except go out, get plastered and try and find someone to shag. That is the mainstream hobby of most people until they get married. Some even go for a mid week bender. I've never been anywhere where its so easy to get laid.
whytehorse2021 2y ago
I don't have to deal with it. Neither does @polishKnight and all the passport bros. I like to think of women in terms of hoes and housewives. As for body count I give em 3 strikes and then they're out. I'll take a woman who got lied to by a guy who said he wanted marriage and then pumped and dumped her. I won't take a woman who does that over and over again 20 times. I'll still fuck them hoes but I ain't wifing them up.
polishknight 2y ago
I married my wife because that's what it took to get her visa and I took a (calculated) risk to start a family and have kids (but this was 20 years ago, slightly different times.)
I'm reminded of the line from Casino "Look, Why take a chance? At least that's the way i feel about it." If you have a kid and don't want more, then there's little need to get legally married (with a few caveats below). I can't speak to your personal situation, but a way of looking at this is if she's cool, and you (tactfully) express your concerns to her, she'll wait for you. If you look at yourself as "the prize", and situation was reversed, you'd be willing to wait for commitment. In the meantime, ask yourself if your dopamine receptors are bonding more than hers are (which would give you a good idea of her body count). If she digs you, she'll stick around. If you're insecure, then you're already behind on the game.
Regarding dopamine bonding: I think it's neat that after I went to brothels and got some experience that way, I was a LOT smoother with women. I also have been married for years so it's amazing how much sexual experience is a positive for men because I think our danger is we are more vulnerable than women when we're sexually inexperienced.
Another suggestion I'd give a young man today is that if you're decent looking, the modern era allows you to have sex with not only many women but also WEALTHY women. Many women will think twice about marrying a poor guy, but they will have sex with a hot one and if they "pair bond" with him then by all means, she may be willing to get "wifed up". I know of some career women who married slacker guys and the men couldn't get their act basically together (alcohol issues, chronic unemployment) but I also know guys who were low paid schoolteachers who married 6 figure earning lawyers. Rather than being emasculated, these guys would get 6 figure payouts if she kicked him to the curb.
If there's one message that should matter on this forum is that your life is your own. You don't owe the state or women anything aside from basic morality. I know this may shock some here, but I really liked (some) prostitutes I met at brothels compared to meal-whores and CC riders in the states in that these women at least had a work ethic and treated men with respect in the profession. They got paid in cash rather than "validation" and dopamine rides. This is about what's comfortable for you and how she treats you for what you put into the relationship.
whytehorse2021 2y ago
So true. It wasn't until I was really confronted with HB10 available women in Bangkok that I let my alpha flag fly. I was thinking "What's wrong with the men here? Are they gay? There's top tier pussy everywhere you look...". So I took the leap and one thing led to another. Next thing I know they're throwing themselves at me. Next thing I know they're doing it for free and trying to get me to cum in them in a country where abortion is illegal(cucking their husbands to get lighter skin babies).
No wait, I kinda had that happen in Russia too now that I think about it but they had abortions. Still let me cum in them, lol. But I hadn't let my alpha flag fly at that point.
After I came back from Asia I got the blue pill Billy Beta treatment from the women and I was like "Bitch, don't you know who I am?" but whatever, I just fart my peace on them and let them go about their day.
polishknight 2y ago
anti-shaming observation: Men historically have been shamed regarding prostitution and masturbation for religious reasons but those were different times in prudish cultures that expected men and women to stay married for life. This shaming ploy continued against men after the 1970's even as men were given the additional shame of not getting sex BEFORE marriage. For example: No man can credibly defend himself against the slur of being called an "incel" by responding "I'm saving myself for marriage." In the meantime, women are not only permitted, but even ENCOURAGED to lead largely shameless lives either sleeping around with multiple men (particularly if they're hot) or selling sex (but perhaps not for direct cash because that makes it easy for men). In other words, women are only shamed about sex if it benefits ordinary men.
Sex with a prostitute has to be the closest thing a normal man can come to experiencing the Alpha/Chad lifestyle: You don't have to flatter women, or be a "gentleman" or engage in game. Aside from basic manners similar to a chat with a girl at the checkout counter at the pharmacy, you are accepted sexually.
South Park chef's "Prostitute" song sums it up nicely. Should be required viewing for legal age young men.
What sexual confidence is for men is that a woman cannot dehumanize us by denying us sex anymore than if one grocery store refuses to sell me eggs, I can easily go to another. I don't have to flatter the checkout girl or pass a shit test to buy them and if they do, I can laugh knowing I can get it somewhere else in 5 minutes. So many men, even those that should know better are cowed by the women's sexuality in the states that I think we stand out. This largely is beneficial in that I get better treatment from people overall, including men, but it does trigger hostility from the women who prefer guys such as me "know our place" and sit down and shut up because I'm "uppity". For women managers, I realized I had to be tactful in how I addressed them (not servile but rather had to game them, almost in a dating fashion, to handle their need to peg me.)
If we had a Men's Party (to replace the failed Conservative movement), we should make subsidized brothel's a campaign promise. Heck, at my age as I retire from my main gig, maybe I should run for local office somewhere on that...
whytehorse2021 2y ago
Yeah it's the "stay in your lane, beta" treatment if you're not Justin Waller. So I give them back the same treatment. Stay in your lane, hoe. Only ladies get treated like humans.
No-Stress-Cat 2y ago
Plates only until your son is 18. Then fly off to the Philippines and find a woman to settle down with. Your son will be old enough to travel and can come visit you whenever he wants.