On Q3, I wouldn’t worry about whether you are “pedestalizing women” or whatever. You don’t need to try hard to “not be a simp” or whatever, you will know deep down when you are actually pedestalizing.

Look, reality is, much of what us men do, even if they don’t admit it, is to get women. Men will shout and scream that they don’t do X for women, whether X is going to the gym or posting to social media.

My general rule of thumb for whether it’s good to do something to get women:

Does doing this thing intrinsically benefit me, even if it never gets me laid?

Examples of things that do intrinsically benefit me, regardless of women: going to the gym, earning more money, and learning game. Learning game helps you understand all social settings better, and makes you more popular among men too. All these things make you a stronger, more complete, well rounded man.

Examples of things that don’t benefit me intrinsically: buying a woman flowers, going to a feminist rally, complimenting random girls. These things have no ROI outside maybe getting you laid. They do not help you otherwise.

Takeaway: learning game is good. Doesn’t matter if you pedestalize or not, a man with game is better than the same man without.

Nuance: sometimes it makes sense to do things in the non-intrinsic benefits category, strategically. Doing them too frequently is what turns a man into a simp and pedestalizer of woman.

Ok, I'll try.

The first one is texting. While I seem to be getting better in general at in person game,

In person game is the only game.

I constantly seem to fumble any type of texting.

I don't think the texting is the problem here.

I’ve managed to get a couple numbers or a little bit of interest,

Great, well done.....this shit isn't easy.

but I manage to kill that interest while messaging.

I doubt this bit. I think they are less interested than they seem.

I haven’t been able to create enough interest before getting a number to go straight to logistics it seems.

Right.

And that's what I think the problem is: not enough interest to start with.

I’m trying to only message for logistics, but it seems like the way I do that kills any attraction I have cultivated so far. How do I get better at texting without wasting the numbers I do get?

I don't think you created enough interest/attraction to start with, and critically: texting isn't going to change that.

You can offend / piss off / alienate a woman over texr... you can fuck up logistics... but you can't build much attraction over text. Maybe a tiny bit. Not much.

It's fairly easy to get a number. But a day later, you're another guy texting her, you're not the exciting attractive guy in front of her anymore. To meet up she'd actually have to do something, get up, go somewhere, not do some other thing.

Wherever you get to in person, that has faded when you text her. And faded a bit more by the time you meet her again.

Where I'm going with this: you've got more attraction building to do in person. You escalate then and there if you can.... if not, don't "get number and come up with plan later".

Vastly better: "Hey, we should do X cool thing together" / vaguely interested female excitement / "Yeah, cool, so this weekend I'm free" / "vaguely positive female noises" / "Great stuff, we'll do it, we're gonna have such a blast.... hey, give me your number so we can sort logistics".

the point is: interesting plan, number as a problem solver for arranging logistics. After that, you're just low key following up on the plan, or rearranging, or it dies. No text game needed, no game playing.... just simple, arrange. If she expresses doubt, you have to find a way to take a step back, while also ideally selling it a bit. Hard line to walk, but not THAT hard.... "yeah, no I get you.... this weekend is a bit tight for me too.... I'll hit you up next week if I get chance".

Second issue I have is with my inner game. Some days I feel like the top of the world and I’m able to create some interest but more often than not, I act and feel like my old self, falling into ways that kill attraction and make me feel like a pussy.

Pretty normal. Do more hard things. Not just women, but the rest of life too.,

I’m curious how people have went from nothing into really embodying the mindset and having it become second nature. A lot of the times it feels like I’m faking it till I make it, or role playing a Chad essentially. Like two weeks ago I had a girl all over me at a wedding where I was able to do Kino and dance. But just yesterday, I was in a shit mindset because I was sick and had to deal with some work drama, so I fumbled 3 girls that had shown IOIs and I could practically hear them getting turned off from talking with them. My question is how do you make it so all this becomes second nature?

just practice at this point .. and building an awesome life

Third problem is less a problem than a question about philosophy and where to focus effort. I’ve been reading a book about improving skills, and it essentially recommends focusing on one skill a year to master it.

yes

The first skill that came to mind was to work on game, but I feel like focusing so much on game would lead to disappointment, as it essentially puts women on a pedestal where in order to win, you have to be successful at game.

also yes

So I thought about working on another skill, but I won’t get any better at game unless I actually game.

also also yes

My questions are, if you aren’t supposed to focus on women, yet you need to actually do game to get better at game, how are you supposed to get better at game if you’re main focuses are on shit that improves your life, like lifting and earning more?

focus on learning how to get an seduce women. it's a great thing to learn. you can work on lifting and earning more at the same time.

lifting is constant.... low skill, high effort, great results in 6 months to a year. game: 3 months to 2 years. earning money: 1 week to 20 years. Do all of it.

It feels like a big catch 22. So should I not focus on game at all and instead put more energy into upgrading other skills? I’m so behind in dating/life (31 and just had my first lay a couple of months ago), that I would think I would have to make a concentrated effort on game in order to be where I’d like to be.

Make the effort with girls, but not at the expense of earning and lifting. You've got decades. Focus on it, but not exclusively. 10 hours a week is plenty.

Answering my own questions: 1) The way I’ve been improving my in person game is practice, but I feel like that’s a waste of leads when I have so few interactions lead to numbers which then lead to nothing.

It always leads to nothing until it doesn't.

My current thoughts are to use AI and customize my messages after that.

no. work out what you want, and just go after that, and burn that shit to the ground in getting it.

"Hey, great to meet you at XXX the other day" / "oh... cool... yeah, you too I guess" / "Right, so about XYZ bar - you free Saturday?" / "err maybe, not sure" / "Cool, I'll hit you up Saturday if I get free and see what we're both up to".

I mean, it's not that hard if she's into you, and it's impossible if she's not. So give her chance to be into you in person, and set up the next meeting then and there.

What I will say though is this: if she really likes you, she'll hate that you're leaving her and wanting a number instead of sticking around. Women can be very short term / childlike sometimes.

2) Right now I think this is where practice does make perfect. I think it’s a positive feedback loop of learning that acting like I don’t give a fuck and sexual with these chicks actually sometimes does lead to success, which I previously never would of thought.

yes

3) My instinct is to not focus on game but still make a dedicated effort to approach.

do both

If I just focus on upgrading a skill, that doesn’t lead to any success with women by itself, since I usually fall into a BP mindset of not doing anything unless I put actual effort into it,

right. so put effort in,

but if I make it my main effort it would make me desperate and the opposite of an abundance mindset. So I guess it’s just about balance.

part of this shit is learning how to move things forward without feeling desperate.

Here's the thing that most guy don't realize: "Running Game" is just a macho way of saying "Chasing Pussy".
The moment you figure that out, the pussy will chase you.

Vermillion texting guide (honest guide)

Vermillion Conversation Skills Guide

I haven’t been able to create enough interest before getting a number to go straight to logistics it seems.

your post should have honestly been about your approaches then, because the texting is a secondary issue at best then.

I’m trying to only message for logistics

I mean, throw a couple breadcrumbs. "Hey this is GunafukUsumDay, [insert reference related to something you talked about]" before you start asking about plans. Or better yet, ask them out in person, that way if they are not interested they'll say no before the phone even comes out and you can just start texting about something adjacent to those plans.

How do I get better at texting without wasting the numbers I do get?

better conversationalist (better at making use of 1-2 sentence exchanges =+ whatever in person

Second issue I have is with my inner game.

I act and feel like my old self, falling into ways that kill attraction and make me feel like a pussy.

Well, stick to mechanics and what you excel at. Get some wins and then experiment more. I tried not to experiment too hard when I was new. I did however take whatever risks I was comfortable with possibly blowing, you can't play it totally safe either.

role playing a Chad essentially

I always tell guys not to act like Chad if they aren't Chad. Act congruent with who you are (how you are now, a dude doing his best)

fumbled IOIS after getting in my head, My question is how do you make it so all this becomes second nature?

Well, don't act like someone you're not. And don't always be thinking about women. Personally? I just keep my head as clear as possible of women when I'm not around any. Even when I'm feeling like absolute shit I keep them out of my mind. I often find that the second a woman is in my space and showing me an IOI at all when I've kept my mind clean of them it instantly boosts me into state.

Being able to get into state is one thing. Knowing exactly what to do and which openings to take is another. The moment I'm personally in state I know my exact roadmaps and openings. Patience matters. But you really just need to keep doing it until its a muscle memory and then you can just snap into it on command if you keep your mind available for it.

Fake it till you make it is also a thing for a reason. Sometimes you can fake it for the 2 minutes it takes to get into state where you can stop faking it thereafter in the rest of the set.

game would lead to disappointment, as it essentially puts women on a pedestal where in order to win, you have to be successful at game

no. you have the wrong mentality. When you're with women game is what you want it to be. You should be vetting them and having fun at their expense. You cannot be trying to win their approval, that's an ass-backwards way to game.

how are you supposed to get better at game if you’re main focuses are on shit that improves your life, like lifting and earning more?

game is largely learned charisma. to the extent there is non-overlap with charisma, game is what to do, when to do it, how to move things forward etc. its not a perfect circle of overlap. Game can be learned as a skill, charisma has to be built but you can get by on learned charisma for a bit. You just need to keep doing things till you see that ABC works at XYZ time. You get more confident each time and it builds when you're not worried about "what to do' anymore and rack up Ws

shit that improves your life, like lifting and earning more?

ironically women find this attractive. This isn't a zero sum game where you have to compromise game and value as if one takes away from the other or something. Grind your day and then go out at night for a couple hours. You don't need to have one or the other.

concentrated effort on game in order to be where I’d like to be.

not really. You'd make a lot better mileage reflecting on what you did each time in a meaningful way than doing a handful of sets with zero reflection. The quality of your introspection matters a lot more than what you did, so long as you learn.

Most of game sets are like 80-90% social skills and like 10-20% game. Social skills carry you way further honestly. Game is really secondary and often subtle. I don't really do overt stereotypical game, most of my "game" is demonstrating masculine polarity, giving them shit, touching them. You're going to get way in your head trying to be some game caricature you see on some video somewhere.

I always recommend watching PlayingWithFire on YouTube. He has tons of great videos about texting as well as general TRP-adjacent themes. He certainly helped me earlier in my journey.