Hey y’all, I’m running into a couple of roadblocks that I’m having trouble overcoming. I’ve kept on lifting, reread the sidebar, and am about to restart The Book of Pook.
The first one is texting. While I seem to be getting better in general at in person game, I constantly seem to fumble any type of texting. I’ve managed to get a couple numbers or a little bit of interest, but I manage to kill that interest while messaging. I haven’t been able to create enough interest before getting a number to go straight to logistics it seems. I’m trying to only message for logistics, but it seems like the way I do that kills any attraction I have cultivated so far. How do I get better at texting without wasting the numbers I do get?
Second issue I have is with my inner game. Some days I feel like the top of the world and I’m able to create some interest but more often than not, I act and feel like my old self, falling into ways that kill attraction and make me feel like a pussy. I’m curious how people have went from nothing into really embodying the mindset and having it become second nature. A lot of the times it feels like I’m faking it till I make it, or role playing a Chad essentially. Like two weeks ago I had a girl all over me at a wedding where I was able to do Kino and dance. But just yesterday, I was in a shit mindset because I was sick and had to deal with some work drama, so I fumbled 3 girls that had shown IOIs and I could practically hear them getting turned off from talking with them. My question is how do you make it so all this becomes second nature?
Third problem is less a problem than a question about philosophy and where to focus effort. I’ve been reading a book about improving skills, and it essentially recommends focusing on one skill a year to master it. The first skill that came to mind was to work on game, but I feel like focusing so much on game would lead to disappointment, as it essentially puts women on a pedestal where in order to win, you have to be successful at game. So I thought about working on another skill, but I won’t get any better at game unless I actually game. My questions are, if you aren’t supposed to focus on women, yet you need to actually do game to get better at game, how are you supposed to get better at game if you’re main focuses are on shit that improves your life, like lifting and earning more? It feels like a big catch 22. So should I not focus on game at all and instead put more energy into upgrading other skills? I’m so behind in dating/life (31 and just had my first lay a couple of months ago), that I would think I would have to make a concentrated effort on game in order to be where I’d like to be.
Answering my own questions: 1) The way I’ve been improving my in person game is practice, but I feel like that’s a waste of leads when I have so few interactions lead to numbers which then lead to nothing. My current thoughts are to use AI and customize my messages after that. 2) Right now I think this is where practice does make perfect. I think it’s a positive feedback loop of learning that acting like I don’t give a fuck and sexual with these chicks actually sometimes does lead to success, which I previously never would of thought. 3) My instinct is to not focus on game but still make a dedicated effort to approach. If I just focus on upgrading a skill, that doesn’t lead to any success with women by itself, since I usually fall into a BP mindset of not doing anything unless I put actual effort into it, but if I make it my main effort it would make me desperate and the opposite of an abundance mindset. So I guess it’s just about balance.
GeorgeIII 1 9m ago
On Q3, I wouldn’t worry about whether you are “pedestalizing women” or whatever. You don’t need to try hard to “not be a simp” or whatever, you will know deep down when you are actually pedestalizing.
Look, reality is, much of what us men do, even if they don’t admit it, is to get women. Men will shout and scream that they don’t do X for women, whether X is going to the gym or posting to social media.
My general rule of thumb for whether it’s good to do something to get women:
Does doing this thing intrinsically benefit me, even if it never gets me laid?
Examples of things that do intrinsically benefit me, regardless of women: going to the gym, earning more money, and learning game. Learning game helps you understand all social settings better, and makes you more popular among men too. All these things make you a stronger, more complete, well rounded man.
Examples of things that don’t benefit me intrinsically: buying a woman flowers, going to a feminist rally, complimenting random girls. These things have no ROI outside maybe getting you laid. They do not help you otherwise.
Takeaway: learning game is good. Doesn’t matter if you pedestalize or not, a man with game is better than the same man without.
Nuance: sometimes it makes sense to do things in the non-intrinsic benefits category, strategically. Doing them too frequently is what turns a man into a simp and pedestalizer of woman.