Hello all,
Previously, I created a post here (link below) about some plate dynamics.
Since then, there has been some updates which I wanted to share with everyone.
Thanks to the advice from folks here, I stopped further contact with this plate. No word from her until today after a month. Received some text messages from her going like -
Her: Hello BFF Her: Your gift is still here (with an image)
That gift is something she bought for me sometime back before I went silent on her without getting it from her.
Left the messages on read and after 8 hours, she fired another message again
Her: Where is my only friend ?
Not sure if she’s hamstering after realizing now she has been used as a sex toy by the other guy with no real chance of him wanting a serious relationship.
It should be a no brainer that I ought to hard next her and let this plate break for good. Just wanted to find out if any of you guys would do something different to re-plate her again and what would be a good response to her messages above then?
Appreciate any advice. Thanks
https://www.forums.red/p/asktrp/325703/plate_dynamics_got_me_questioning_my_own_behaviour
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3h ago
No, I would not do anything different with a chronic and habitual liar.
You already got away. Keep it that way. Just ignore her messages
YawninBread 3h ago
Thank you. Appreciate it
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1h ago
You're welcome
GeorgeIII 1 2h ago
Hey OP, read your first post too. I feel ya.
It’s hard to take finding out that you were putting in a lot more work to get laid than the other guy, especially if it’s literally at the exact same time. Making later men put more work in is the real reason women hide their past.
I’d add this for thought: did you do the “boyfriend things” you did because you wanted to give, or because you wanted to get laid? One is a genuine generosity and closeness, and the other is a covert contract.
That being said, it’s weird how she’s calling you her “only friend”. It’s way easier for girls to make female friends than for men to make male friends. Not sure what’s going on in her life outside you and other guy. But a woman with no social circle of her own is dangerous to you, because you can become her everything very easily. Having other girlfriends is a way she can get a lot of her emotional and social needs met, so you can do less of that and focus more on fucking.
Edit: having other orbiter men is another way she can get that social/emotional stuff taken care of. A girl I’m seeing right now does this (and doesn’t even realize it!).
YawninBread 1h ago
Thanks for writing this. Appreciate the perspectives.
“did you do the “boyfriend things” you did because you wanted to give, or because you wanted to get laid? One is a genuine generosity and closeness, and the other is a covert contract.”
To your point above in quotes, I must admit it’s a combination of both with a genuine sense of feeling bad for using her as a sex toy throughout the time so that led to the so called ‘boyfriend giving” of getting her gifts and what not. It wasn’t a lot but there was that element of giving which the other guy never did, not even a dinner.
Yet, she would hand him a free sexual pass from the many nude photos and clips to blowing him in his car at various locations during random days where both would sneak out from their own workplaces to have their little fun. Oddly, the guy never really once took her out or even to a a proper hotel/apartment for sex. Just plenty of blowjobs and getting naked photos and videos of her. The biggest rub for me probably is knowing that she even gave him a spare access card to use some club facilities of hers. I never got any of that. The guy is probably married since he stayed silent each time she asked. Haha
I know she doesn’t many female friends. In fact, she doesn’t have a go-to buddy at all. She is however very much committed to settling down with someone for a serious relationship leading to marriage eventually but it never came and probably will never come judging from how things are. That guy is definitely having the best time of his life of getting maximum sexual satisfaction without a single cost. He’s the true alpha. This I must concede defeat.
So, the only move left is really to disappear from her life because her behaviour of calling me ‘bff’ and ‘her only friend’ is probably a coping mechanism for her emotional and social needs to be met by way of me being an orbiter to her eventually.
In fact, I only decided to hard next her a month ago after she turned down coming over to my place for the usual action we always had. Instead, she said we can still have dinner. That was it. I left her on read since then. Man, I kinda miss those days of her being super horny to the point of doing almost anything to satisfy me including the logistics. Good times :)