I'm 31 and have spent the last five years focusing almost entirely on my career. It paid off professionally, I recently moved into a management role, my income is stable, and I finally feel financially comfortable. The downside is that I neglected my social life, and now I'm finding it difficult to build meaningful relationships. I've started exercising regularly, dressing better, and going to more social events instead of spending every evening working. I've had a few dates over the past several months, but I often feel like I'm either too career-focused or trying too hard to make up for lost time.
For those who have gone through something similar, how did you find a balance? Did you intentionally reduce your work hours, expand your social circle first, or simply keep dating until things became more natural? I'm interested in hearing experiences from people who were in a similar position rather than general dating advice.
Musicgoon78 3 2h ago
I'm going to give you a little bit of advice coming from an older guy that's dealt with a lot of setbacks, a lot of successes and just a whole lot of life. You're going to get a bunch of bullshit on here about ratios and doing this and that with your life and how to balance this and that. Let me tell you that it's all bullshit. Surf the forums and just look at guys starting off. They have a case of the "one days".
This is one of those things where a guy says one day when I make a six-figure salary. I will start dating women.
When I get down to under 11% body fat I will cold approach.
When I finish reading all the books on the sidebar I will try to build up my social circle.
These are all excuses instead of action. Now you, my brother are officially in that category. You're doing financially well but making excuses instead of just simply taking action.
It doesn't matter how out of practice or how much you focused on other things. Get up. Shake the dust off and go start talking to women. Don't make a metric le I will do 100 cold approaches or anything like that, just go. Start talking to women. Start asking them start taking some risks that will not affect your health or even your sanity.
I can say from personal experience that that I will game chicks with zero money after being laid off and having a death in the family while I'm searching for new jobs and dealing with life's other bullshit. Don't wait, just do.
And everyone has enough time to date. You just need to make time for it. I can guarantee you're going to get a lot of advice about this. Keep in mind that most guys will use some sort of metric as a buffer before you start dating. Any type of buffers or excuses are simply insecurity. You can get started right now right after you read this. It really is that simple.
adam-l Moderator 1h ago
First thing you have to do is set a time, be it 18:00, 20:00 or even 22:00, after which you don't think about work at all. Keep a note if you need to, and purposefully stop thinking about it.
That's "taking care of myself" time.